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July 9, 2025 9 mins
On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks about how to tell if a guy is emotionally unavailable!

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Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And a happy Wednesday friend. Welcome to the Thought Shower.
Intern John is my name. Hope you having a great week.
It's been a busy one for me, although mainly well
it's always self imposed. It's my fault. Uh. But let's
see how this week. Sorry, Well, Monday was a big day.
College Football came out on Xbox. Now here's the thing

(00:23):
about this game. So college Football was huge like early
two thousands, and then they stopped the game for like
I want to say, like ten years. Basically like ten
years has stop when they the players were suing for royalties, YadA, YadA.
They announced the game coming back about three or four

(00:45):
years ago, finally came back last year, and it is
a huge nostalgia bump. I think it's one of those
things where if the game had kept coming out the
last ten years, probably wouldn't be as popular as it
is now, just because the novelty would worn off, but
because it is like kind of like flashbacks and me
playing against my brother a that type of vibe and

(01:07):
like other friends as well. So on Monday, very exciting.
I launched my player career. I know you're very interested
in this, and so my player career is currently the
starting quarterback at the University of Minnesota my coaching career
also University of Minnesota. So it's been a very busy
couple days and so unfortunately I was kind of annoyed

(01:29):
because it would been dope if the game came out
over the weekend, would make sense, you could play fourth
of July weekend. This game released noon on Monday, not great.
So I had to stay up playing of course, and
then played last night, and then I also did TV
last night, which was great. So been busy, busy, but

(01:49):
good though, a good busy. And now it's kind of
that weird period for me where you know, hockey's done
until November ish and then comedy is done indefinitely. So
like those two main things are done. So I've not
only a break period because obviously owning the restaurant still

(02:10):
takes up a lot of time, but at least like
I'm gonna try to kind of get things not really
back in order, but like, yeah, slow down a little bit,
relax a little bit, try to recharge a little bit,
wand you some trips. I was talking to a buddy
EJ who I call my cousin Jay, about doing a
trip this year together I've been seeing my TikTok. I

(02:32):
guess you can go to the Jurassic Park filming locations
in Hawaii, which would be sick. My only thing is,
like I living in Minnesota was great growing up, not
for the weather, but because for like vacations and stuff.
We're in the middle of the country. So like going
to Florida was, you know, two and a half hours.
Going to la it was like three hours being on

(02:52):
the East coast. Like to go to Hawaii, you gotta
take the six hour flight to Lax and then you know,
four hours it is to Hawaii. It's a lot of travel, dude.
It's a lot of flying. It's a lot of expensiveness.
So but I've been seeing like, yeah, the Jurassic Park
filming locations. I'm like, yo, that'd be a sick trip.

(03:13):
Because I did that with Star Wars going to Italy.
I like, maybe I do that. My new thing is
like going to where movies are filmed. I don't know.
Let me get to this for your Wednesday though. Signs
a man is emotionally unavailable. I've been told that this
is me. I don't know if I'm emotionally unavailable. I
think that I'm just time wise unavailable because I am busy,

(03:34):
and that's just kind of like, I don't know. It's
a weird thing where I've had trouble in dating before,
where people I think thought I was kidding about that
or exaggerating, and it's not meant to be a flex like,
it's not meant to be like, hey, look how busy
I am. I do too much, no doubt, and so

(03:55):
I'm more timely unavailable. This is emotionally though. If he
disappears when you express vulnerability, yes, I would also say
that to me is a guy who's not really invested,
you know, Like that to me is like he is
there for one thing, one thing only, and he's trying
to make that clear that he does not want to
get to serious town where feelings are evolved. So he's

(04:17):
just like nope, this is what is so whenever the
conversation starts to go deeper than the surface or emotions
are involved, he suddenly nowhere to be found, whether it's
dodging a topic, changing the subject, or disappearing for days.
He avoids the talks entirely. Yes, he says he doesn't
like labels. I have shot this from the mountaintop, and

(04:38):
I want to make sure that any lady who listens
to the podcast the show knows if a dude is
truly interested in you, he wants to lock it up
right away, because like, dudes aren't dumb. I mean we are, obviously,
but like we know that if we find you attractive,
somebody else is gonna as well, So we want to

(04:59):
lock it up as soon as possible, at least the
girlfriend's stage, like no doubt. If he's always canceling plans
last minute, they say, yeah, emergy's happened when he's bailing
on plans. More often he follows through. It's a science,
something deeper. He's quick to cancel the vague excuse or
sudden obligations that seem to pop up whenever you've made plans. Yeah,

(05:19):
they say, it seems to be he's only available when
it suits him. Now, in my defense, like I've had
this happen before, but again it's because of like I
do too much. But I do think. Yeah, it's always
last minute, and then you see them out with somebody else. Yeah,
that's not good. He's never been in a long term relationship.

(05:43):
I mean, flag right, that is weird, they say, well,
everyone has a different history. A man who avoids commitment
probably is doing it for a reason. I think that's fair. Yeah,
that to me is just odd odd odd odd. He
never celebrates any milestones wooh, they say birthdays in a

(06:04):
various raised promotions. He treats them like just another day.
While not everyone's big on celebrations, completely ignoring significant moments
shows a lack of care and attention. I believe that
talking about is your promotions, your anniversaries, your birthdays. Yeah,
because I get again, I think that there are dudes
who are very careful of not crossing that line and

(06:26):
doing boyfriend's stuff. Like if we're just hooking up, but
then I get you something for your birthday, you might
think it's something more than that. I think that's legit.
I think that's like. I had a friend once, excuse me,
who was not that were really dating, but was kind
of talking this guy for like a couple of years.

(06:47):
He forgot Valentine's Day twice, and I remember being like, girl,
he did not forget Valentine's Say twice twice. It is
impossible to forget Valentine's Say even the day of I
mean literally, unless you don't go outside. You don't go
to grocery stores, he don't go to the gas station,

(07:08):
you don't turn on social media or TV. How do
you forget Valentine's saye, I mean even checking the calendar?
It says Valentine's say like he just didn't care. It's
not fun, it's not great, but yeah, there it is.
If he never talks about his past, if you ask
him about his childhood or relationships experiences, either brushes it

(07:29):
off or changes the subject. This avoidance suggests he's unwilling
or unable to let you into his world. I think
that's fair. Also, I think it could be if there's
trauma too, that would be more touchy with that one.
If you will, I think that kind of makes more sense.
Last one on here, excuse me. I don't know why
I'm coughing so much. Like my mom said that I

(07:50):
gout are sick, I allegit think it was allergies, and
like the tick on my throat does not seem to
feel sicky. It feels like allergyase some hope and well,
actually I want to be either. I want to be Yeah,
I was gonna say I'm hoping it's that, but no,
I want to be. I want my throat to have
a tickle. If he never takes responsibility for his actions,

(08:11):
they say, when something goes wrong, it's never his fault.
He's quick to blame you, external circumstances, or anyone else,
but he refuses to own up to his mistakes. The
lack of accountability creates a toxic dynamic. We're constantly walking
eggshells trying to avoid conflict. I would also just say
to me, that's a sign that he's not committed, like

(08:33):
he doesn't quite care. And I said this before with
people ask about war the roses, like do the guys
get mad and YadA YadA, I have always said, I
think most of the time, when it comes to war
the roses and that kind of stuff, they don't care
about the relationship. And like it's not fun to say that,
I just don't think they care. Now, I think a
guy like, if you're in a relationship and you care

(08:54):
about the girl, you wanted to be happy, obviously for
good reasons, but also you wanted to be happy because
she's not mad at you. If you're not taking responsibility
for your actions, it's because you don't quite care if
they get mad or not and that to me, Yeah,
it's not great to hear, but I think it's true.
You deserve better than that. You deserve somebody who is
trying to make you happy, who listens, who cares, who

(09:15):
wants to do the small things. And also you deserve
a hype man, somebody to hype up when you get
the promotion or if you have like a fitness journey
goal or whatever it is you need that. You deserve that. Hope,
you have a great Wednesday. If you can follow me,
I appreciate that at intern Genre Radio. You can follow
the show at YMS Radio. I'll see you on Friday.
Slashower
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