Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Why, hello, friend, Welcome to the Thought Shower intern. John
is my name back in the Thought Shower studios for
the first time in And be honest with you, I
don't even know how long I was thinking about that today.
So I have this room in my house that during
the pandemic I made into like the Thought Shower studio,
(00:21):
and we would do the podcast here basically every day,
and then it kind of stopped for a little bit,
and then, if I'm being completely honest, I stop doing
it once Chew we passed, because if you listen to
this podcast for a minute, you would know that anytime
I would start recording in the studio, the Thought Shower Studio, Chew,
we would open the door and come in. He'd be
(00:42):
perfectly quiet and like not even say anything. But the
second it was recording, that's when he would like slowly
push the door open and come on in. And so
I really haven't been this room since then. Kind of
feels where we back. There's not even furniture in here anymore,
so a little visual let's say, sleep on the floor,
no sitting on the floor. So just thought'd be easier
(01:04):
to do things here. So, Hey, how are you hopefully
doing well, my weekend. Let's see, so Friday had a
nice dinner with a friend that was lovely, went out
to a hide Social, which is a lovely bar in
the Cleanton Areai. You a chance to go out there,
and then I'll be honest, like most of this weekend
was spent working on the comedy show. You know, it's
(01:24):
crazy that we are golly like three weeks away and
this has to be the best one, this one, I think.
And don't get me wrong, I always cared about the
other ones certainly, and I want them to be very
good for you. If you're going to the show, I
wanted you to have a good time. This is like
the first one that I'm like, certainly we're doing for
(01:45):
the warrior canine connection, but this is the first one
that I'm like, this has to be perfect for me,
and I think that's been I don't know if that's
like the motivation is not the right word, but it
certainly does feel different, like certainly a finale to all
this where these shows have to be good and it's
(02:06):
been a very interesting experience. It usually would go to
the woods for a couple of weeks and work things out.
They don't have the time, you know, mainly because of
owning the restaurant, there's not really time to do that.
And then so the next couple of weekends, like there's
Pride this weekend in DC, we had to be in
the parade. Then there's next weekend where like, yeah, that's
(02:29):
you know, technically the last weekend I might need to
be here for work stuff. So it's kind of crazy,
like we're almost here, but man, I've been going through
the stuff. It is. It's emotional, certainly, no getting around that.
But it's powerful and it's good and I'm excited for
you to see it. I'm excited for a night to
remember my boy, which would be very exciting. Internsjohncomedy dot
(02:52):
com The last remain tickets. They're fifteen bucks each benefiting
the Warrior Canine Connection. Internjohncomedy dot would love to see you.
We do the meet and grief for everybody after the show,
and if you are a thought, make sure you say
hello in the line as well. Let me get this
for your Monday. The things you'll never be able to
control in life, so stop obsessing over them. I've tried
(03:16):
to get better at this. I think this kind of
comes with age when you realize like, okay, I'll all
this stuff I'm stressing about, how much of it doesn't
really matter. Starting with others opinions of you. They say,
no matter how flawless you are, someone will misunderstand you,
dislike you, or straight up present you, and that's not
your problem to solve. I do think Tom Holland said
(03:38):
it best. Tom Holland is an actor who played Spider Man.
He said, if you have a problem with me, call me.
If he don't have my number, you don't know me
well enough to have an opinion. And I do think
that's very fair. That's one thing I've learned with this
job is there'll be people who say things online that
are just so mean, like about me. Then I'm like, yeah,
(04:00):
oh you must it's almost like you know, oh, like
you don't know me, Like there's no way that you're
somebody that I've seen before in real life, because you
wouldn't be talking that way, do you know what I mean?
I think that's true. There's some people that want to
be miserable and like, there's no talking to them. It's
not worth it, and just like notiven worth your energy.
(04:22):
How others treat you. Now, this is a caveat. You
can set boundaries, communicate clearly, and show up with kindness,
but at the end of the day, how someone treats you,
it's reflection of them, not you. If they're dismissive, disrespectful,
or cruel, that's their baggage to carry. The trap is
thinking you can love someone and it treating you better.
I've been there before in relationships where it's like, oh,
(04:43):
if I just I can love their anxiety? Way, do
you know what I mean? And that is true, Like
you can do everything right, and I think sometimes our
brain get is messed because we wouldn't treat somebody that way,
if that makes sense. So when they do it to you,
it's like I don't I don't quite understand, like you understand,
like the two plus teak will set. It's like, I
don't get how that works. But yeah, I think once
you stop caring about that, but certainly at the same time,
(05:05):
have those boundaries. The next one is the outcome of
your efforts. I tell this to my hockey kids all
the time. You can do everything right, work hard, say
can assisted and follow the advice and still not get
the outcome you want. They say, success isn't a formulus,
combination of time and opportunity and a million variables you'll
never fully control. I've said this with coaching. My head
coach Brian said this too, is you know, really the
(05:28):
best thing you can do in life is put yourself
in a position to succeed, and that's all you can
ask for. And like I've told this to my kids before.
It like we've had games where it's like we did
everything right, Like we'll go watch the game film and
like there's nothing we can do about it. It just
didn't go our way. And that's a tough thing to swallow,
I think, especially for kids, but for adults too, Like
(05:50):
I could do. I think it's like the perfect show
in forever. Reason the ratings go down and it's like,
all right, well, all I can control is that I
did my best. I've mentioned this to like when I
moved to Des Moines for it's gonna be a year,
I was like, no partying, no girlfriends, Like I'm going
to focus on just doing radio and that way, like
(06:10):
if it doesn't work out, you know, five years from now,
I can look back and say I did everything I could,
And like, I think that's kind of the best way
to go about it. Whether people stay in your life.
They see, can't make someone stay if they're ready to go.
People leave, relationships and friendships fade, seasons change. You can
beg over, extend and lose yourself trying to keep them,
but they want out, they'll go. I do think that's fair. Yeah,
(06:35):
but again like yeah, you can't control it. I mean again,
you could be the perfect friend, the perfect whatever. I
do think that kind of falls into like you think, oh,
if I just do this more, they'll come back. It's
not worth it, you know, let that go be you.
The timing of major life events, golly, do not know that,
especially this year. I love career, breakthrough is family, personal growth.
(06:59):
None of that happened on the timeline you expect. You
can plan your whole life down a minute, but the
universe will still throw you curveballs. Yeah. I think obviously
with Showy this year, New Year's of all times, like unfortunately,
life happens, you know, and that's to you, even like
with this show, you know, with the Morning Show, I
(07:20):
got a call on a Friday that we were starting
on Monday, you know what I mean. It's just kind
of like that's it, they say, trying to forest. Timing
will leave you frustrate and disconnected from the present. Surrendering
cenderr into your timeline. Messy, unpredictable, impactful as it is
is where the peace lives. I do think that's kind
of fair. It's always to stay ready, you have to
get ready. That kind of vibe too. But yeah, it's
(07:41):
nice to think you can kind of plan that stuff,
you know, but it just it just yeah, it is
what it is. Ah, the past you can replay a
thousand times, dissect every decision, inspiral over the shit haves,
but the past is done. I've always tried to I've
spoken to schools lot before and they've asked you, like
the biggest regret, and like, I can't think of one.
(08:06):
And that's not because I haven't made mistakes. I certainly have,
but I try not to dwell on them, especially if
I know I try my best. But also too, I
am a firm believer of like, you know, if you
could go back and fix a mistake, you might not
be in the same position you're in right now, See
what I mean. I hate that everything happens for a reason,
(08:26):
but like, there's a bazillion decisions that you made are
ready to get you to this point. Who's to say
if you went back and changed that one mistake, that
things wouldn't be worse, you know what I mean. I
think that's where it's a little bit like, yeah, which
I don't know if going back could would it make
things better? I don't know. The choices other people make,
(08:46):
they say, you can give advice, express your concerns, hope
for the best, but you can't make decisions for anyone else. Yeah,
they say, washing people you love make choices you wouldn't
is one of life's most painful realities. I think that's true,
they say, But it's there path, not yours, especially because
excuse me, you want the best for people, you know
what I mean, Like, you want the best of them,
(09:07):
and sometimes it is like, yeah, you can give them
the best advice, but it is their life. I told
us the friends. I have a friend who would get
mad their friends for constantly making bad decisions. I just like, yeah,
and I get it, but like that's their life. Yeah,
that's their journey, unfortunately, and there's there's not much you
can do about it. Last one I'll hit and again,
I've been feeling a lot this year. Things you can't
(09:29):
control how fast you heal, say, grief, heartbreak, burnout. None
of those move on your schedule. You can't rush the
process no matter how much you want to feel better. Now,
healing unfolds its own messy non linit your timeline and
that's okay. Yeah, I mean again I think that you
know we're coming. It was five months yesterday. I guess
(09:51):
you could say the Chew's been gone and it still
sucks just as much. Yeah. I think it's one of
those things where you think, like, oh, a couple of
months go by, you bounce back, and it's like, yeah,
that's not how it works, unfortunately, you know again for
me and him every day together. I mean, this is
the first time, really, this is the longest I've been
in this room since he passed, and it's ten minutes,
(10:15):
you know what I mean. I guess tough and that
thing you know with Chewy, it's like that is always
under the surface. I have at some point over the
last five months cried every single day. Is it getting
to be as frequent as before? Well, I mean it's
still every day, but it's not multiple times to day,
and maybe it's not even like sadness. Sometimes it can
be happy stuff. So that's one of those things too,
(10:36):
where it's a bit like a like a broken ankle.
Is there a timeline? Sure, but everything heals differently, you know.
So I think the bottom line is listen, cut yourself
in slack. You know, it's your first time doing this.
If you're having a bad day, it's gonna get better.
You know. I believe in you and I appreciate you listening.
You can get me at Internshoen Radio. Hopefully see the
(10:59):
Ships Internship on comedy dot com Stashower