Mommy Issues - 1167

On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks about his weekend, and guys with mommy issues

Intern John's new comedy album, "Chuy Forever: The Album" is out! Proceeds benefit the Warrior Canine Connection. You can order the album HERE

Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
And a happy Monday friend. Welcome to you the Thas
Shower intern John is my name. It was indeed a weekend,
let's get into this. So Friday and Saturday, skittles and
nice stay at the hotel, the Hilton National Landing in Arlington,
which was lovely. Makes things a lot easier for me.
My house is like forty five minutes away from the bar.

(00:21):
So on times when I know I'm gonna be there
all weekend, like to sometimes get the hotel makes things
a little bit easier, easier to stay out there, easier,
take care of skittles, so on and so forth. I
was exhausted all week, like all week, didn't really sleep,
you know. Sunday got back from Des Moines, we did
the Ghost Honey on Tuesday, did some long days during

(00:43):
the week in general, and then so Friday we did
Halloween party, which was crazy.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
The line was down the block. That was to say
it was intense.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Would be understavement lock great costumes, trying to think of like,
ain't a unique that I saw? We had costume contest.
Jack Sparrow won, Like I was pretty good. You know,
you saw a lot of hunters, the demon hunters saw
a bunch of those, but yet nothing really like over
the top where I was like, oh wow, that's pretty

(01:14):
like unique in like creative, I mean nothing. They weren't creative,
but not like homemade new you know this. Power Rangers
certainly Spice Girls a lot of those.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
It was good.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Then Saturday, I basically slept all day, like I was
so exhausted. I got back to the hotel, slept until
like nine, which that alone never happens, and then just
kept taking like three hour naps the entire day. And
usually I can't do that, like I can't sleep in
past like six, and then I have a hard time
taking naps. But I was able to kind of pass

(01:46):
out and do absolutely nothing, which is great. Saturday got
dinner at my friend Chuck, then went back to the bar.
It was great, great, great, great. Then Sunday went back
to the house and basically slept. So it's one of
those weekends where needed, like certainly need to catch up
on everything, like sleep wise, But because of that, everything

(02:07):
else is a mess because I did nothing all weekend.
So very exciting. Hopefully this weekend a little more productive.
We'll find out. But it was good. Good Halloween. November's
here two months in Christmas. I've been a good boy
all year and then so yeah. I Also, my nephew
is getting baptized a couple of weeks, so I get

(02:29):
to do that. Let me hit this for your Monday.
The clear signs a man has mommy issues. Now, as
somebody who grew up with a mom with hate in
her heart, with absolute hate in her heart, I feel
confident to tackle this absolutely. If he needs constant validation

(02:51):
and praise, they say you might notice him frequently asking
for your opinion on nearly everything, from the outfit he's
wearing to the dinner spot he's considering. This need for
constant palidation can often be traced back to a childhood
where he might never receive constant positive reinforcement from his mother.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
Agreed, Yeah, especially me. I'm kidding. Uh, that makes sense,
I suppose.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
But I think you're probably gonna be with any parent
really like, Yeah, if you were constantly told that, like
every decision you made growing up was wrong, or even
on the flip side, nobody told you ever made a
right decision, I think that would message somebody. Yes, if
you grew up where everything you did was questioned eventually,
but yeah, Am I really the idiot?

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Am I really dumb? Like that? For sure?

Speaker 1 (03:37):
He has trouble trusting you, they say a man mommy
issues may struggle with trust, leading a frequent questioning or
a need for reassurance about your loyalty or intentions might
originat from a child that where promises are broken, our
emotional support was inconsistent. Again, I think that's fair if
you grew up with having that, Like you need to
have that strong lady in your life growing up. If

(03:57):
you can't trust that, yes, that makes reprecentense. He puts
his mother before you, they stay way. Man constantly paroritizes
his mother's needs ahead of yours could be a sign
of unresolved dependency or over attachment. He might strump everything
to attend to her requests or cancel plans or do
you spend time with her. I'll say this that that
to me depends on like what you are, right, Like

(04:20):
if you are just dating, then yeah, mom's opinion probably
still range true. Right if you are married or have
kids probably should be a little bit different, you know
what I mean? Like I have to struggle with like
starting to date somebody or talking somebody, like with work
stuff where it's like, well, work should be the priority.
It's like, well is though, I mean it is now.

(04:44):
That's gonna change one day, but for now, like, yeah,
works to priority. I do think that's one of those
things where if you just start dating somebody, yeah, like
family is gonna be parity. He struggles with independence.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
They say.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
If he frequently lies in others for decision making or
acquires assistance with the basics, he may be grappling with
issues related to independence. They originally from a childhood where
his mother was overly involved in his life decisions, leaving
him ill equipped to handle adult responsibilities on his own.
What a disservice to do, somebody? What an absolute disservice,
you know what I mean? Like, thank god I don't.

(05:18):
I can't think of any friends like that. But if
I had friends like that, it couldn't make day to
day decisions. I would go crazy, dude, Like if they
know where they want to eat or hospital the bill,
anything like that. But yo, you need to grow a
pair of my friend. He avoids conflict at all costs,
they say. A man have mommy issues may shine away
from confrontation, preferring to sweep issues under the rug rather

(05:40):
than address them head on.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
I've never quite understood that.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
I think maybe a time certainly where it's like, you know,
just to want another fight, But overall it's like you're
just making problems for yourself down the line. I always
say it with laundry, and that's more of a joke.
But it's like laundry, Yeah, I make it problem for
future John. That's John down the lines problem. It's not
John now is problem that it's John down the lines problem.

(06:05):
But yeah, if he hasn't comp, if he wants to
voy comp but probably because he was toltal, he was wrong.
As it's our life, I understand that he has unclear
boundaries with his mother. If he struggles to set or
maintain boundaries with his mom, this could be as signed
deeper issues read to independence and self assertion. You might
notice he allows her to influence his decisions or intruding
relationship without question. The lack of boundaries could be to

(06:26):
a dynamic where his mother is overly involved or controlling
during his upbringing.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
Yeah, that to me makes sense.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
I think that I unlucky my parents kind of stay
out that my parents don't even ask if I'm dating,
which that means like they think that I am, they
just don't want to like get involved, or if they
don't think I am, period. I don't know where that
falls under, you know what I mean. That's kind of
funny now that I say it out loud. Yeah, but

(06:55):
I do think I would go crazy if, like I
was dating somebody in my mom was constantly given her
opinion like all the time.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
I would go crazy.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
I would go crazy, especially if I was like in
front of somebody I've heard of like parents do that.
It's like, yeah, why would you You're making things harder
for your kid. You know, if he compares you to
his mother, No, what you do is you compare her
to her mom. That's what you say. You say, Hey,
you're acting like your mom, say a mad mommy issues.

(07:26):
Might have a habit of complaining comparing you to his mother,
whether consciously or unconsciously. This tendency can step from a
child that where he learned to measure people against his
mother's standards and attributes. I mean, I do think that
to at some point that is probably like everybody does that,
Like that slight comparison of like okay, yeah, but if

(07:46):
it's consistently over time. Number One it's kind of weird.
Not Number two, I feel like, yeah, you would not
want to keep doing that, you know, espinal, especially if
it's like, oh my mom would never do this, That'd
be odd. It'd be a weird thing to say. He
often turns into a child, they say, A man mommy
issues might often see comfort in ways our mind of
a child during his mother turning to his mother. This

(08:07):
can involve looking for you for not to involve looking
to you for nurturing in times stress and difficulty, seeking
your insurance and to soothe his anxieties. I'm gonna be honest, Okay,
they say, Well, nurturing is part of a loving relationship
and over reliance and creating a balanced where you feel
more like a caregiver than partner. Okay, that's the clear distinction,
because I do feel like overall that's a good thing

(08:29):
if your partner is shuring to you for reassurance and
like nurturing during stress. However, I do feel like, yeah,
you can't be somebody's sole stress believe I've told this
to XS, like I can't be your sole source of happiness.
Number one, I don't want to be, you know what
I mean, because that's a lot to put on somebody.
Number two, there's no way I can be if I'm

(08:51):
like your soul source of happiness, that's too much pressure,
you know. So if I'm your sole release of stress,
that's also not good.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
You know.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
I do think your partner should help reduce stress. But
that's like their constant goal is that that's too much
for anybody to be able to do anything. Last one,
I'll hit he avoids making long term plans. Yeah, they
see a math mommy issues may shy away for making
long term plans, prefering to keep options open rather than
than committing. This reluctance can stem from a fear of
repeating past family dynamics or feeling trapped in overwhelming commitment.

(09:25):
I think it's probably more of the latter, like that
type of commitment. I mean, I have a hard time
making plans so far in advanced because like schedule in general.
But I do think, yeah, if it's like overall stuff
again this time you're especially is telling right because we
have now Halloween's over, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's. Those are
big like socially events, you know what I mean. Look,

(09:45):
I hope you have a fantastic Monday. I appreciate you listening.
If you can fall along, appreciate that too. At Internshien Radio,
this is a thought shower