January 27, 2025 • 9 mins
On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks about how to know if your man doesn't undertsand you
Intern John's debut comedy album "The Album" is available right NOW! InternJohnComedy.com proceeds benefitting the Fisher House Foundation
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
Intern John's debut comedy album "The Album" is available right NOW! InternJohnComedy.com proceeds benefitting the Fisher House Foundation
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And a happy Monday friend. Welcome to the thoughts Shower.
Intern John is my name. It was a weekend, indeed
a weekend. On let's see Friday, boys had a game
a coach hockey at George Shown. PREPP had a game
out in Odenton, which means it was about an hour
and a half there and back. Got their first league
(00:20):
win of the year, which was very exciting. Happy for them.
Wanting to shootout, very terrifying. Our last four games, I
believe have been a shootout, so it's nice to get one.
Then on Saturday, I wasn't feeling great at all and
I haven't been for a minute, so Saturday literally did nothing.
I started to rewatch Severance, which was this has been great.
(00:43):
If you haven't watched Severance and Apple TV, it is fantastic.
Dare I say? The idea is, there's this company that
puts an implant in your brain that separates your home
self from your work self. So if I walk in
the radio station and I have this procedure, I know
nothing about my life at home. Once I leave the station,
I know nothing about my life of work. But the
(01:05):
problem is, like the U that's at work lives at
work basically twenty four to seven. So it's good. It's
up a jack off my me, it's I think it's fantastic.
And so it's on season three, no Season two. Episode
three comes out on Friday. If you haven't watched it,
I say it is very good. So that on Saturday
yesterday went to the bottom involved with Hide Social and
(01:27):
Clerinon we hosted the Commander's Game, which was that was tough. Man.
I felt bad. I think that franchise had rough obviously.
I mean, I still maintain the Vikings are the worst
franchise ever. People will say the Bills, but the Bills
have been super Bowls. The Vikings have done nothing in
my years on this planet. But it was fun. The
(01:50):
vibes are good. Unfortunate that it's the Chiefs again that
kind of sucks, but not much you can do there.
And this week got a lot going on, some big meetings,
some big hockey games, got some big projects to work on.
So we're doing that. I just want to say again
huge thanks to everybody's reachhout. You know, we're still figuring
(02:12):
things out day by day. It's still process. You know,
it's there'll be a month this week without Chewy which
is crazy in a way. It's flown by in a way. Also,
it's been the longest month of my life, you know.
And yeah, we're still grieving. Had a breakdown last night.
That was very exciting. Although I mean, be honest, I've
(02:33):
cried every single day for him, Yeah, every day, which
is again. I was talking to somebody the other day
about how is crazy with small dogs the hole they leave,
And that's been a common theme among people I've talked
to who have lost animals, particularly small dogs. They all
say the same thing, like, it's crazy how big of
a hole a small dog can leave. And that small
(02:57):
dog left the biggest hole he did. And but we're
we're getting through, you know, we're trying to survive. Got
some big trips coming hopefully. I'm very excited. In April,
my dad, my brother and I are going to a
cigar convention New Orleans, which will be very exciting. I
went a couple of years ago to Las Vegas. Going
to New Orleans w a fun guy's trip, kind of lines
(03:19):
up my brother's birthday. That would be very fun. And
then work on some other stuff as well. Let's get
into this though, how to know your man doesn't understand
the real you, Oh boy, be honest. As men, we
don't understand much. There's not much we fully understand what
we try sorry with. He assumes he's the center of
your world. That's tough, Yeah, they say, does he believe
(03:42):
that your whole world revolves around him? While love is
important part of happiness, it's not the only part. If
a man assumes he's the sole reason for your joy,
it could mean he doesn't fully see you as an
individual with your own passions and needs. I've always said
I never want to be somebody's only source of joy
and happiness. For one thing. That's a lot of pressure
(04:04):
to put on yourself. You know, I don't want that.
I can't make myself happy, you know what I mean? Like,
I can't do that. I sure as hell can I
do for somebody else? All the time? What we do
it He doesn't understand why you get excited by some things. Yeah,
if you ever gushed about something you love only met
with a distract, a nod, or a change the subject.
(04:24):
Your man doesn't show interest in the things make your
eyes lit up, you can feel like party is being dismissed. Yeah,
I think that's tough, you know, I've also believed to
you that I don't like folks who make people feel
dumb for liking things like their hobby or whatever it is.
I think a big one. I have a bunch of
(04:46):
female friends, like when Taylor re released the Red album
in All Too Well like that. Yeah, a lot of
girls are really into that. A lot of dudes, like
I don't get it. It's like, fella, it's not for
you to get you know what I mean. If she's
happy about it, they'd be happy if if he seems
perplexed by your emotions. I'll defend dudes on this. We
I mean, we just don't know, you know what I mean?
(05:09):
They say, having notice the often misses the mark when
comes understanding how you feel. Yeah, but I think again,
most dudes, and I've said this at nauseum, but any
dude is worth it doesn't want you to be upset
at him. So if you are, he probably has no
idea what he did. No dude wants to be the doghouse.
(05:30):
Dudes want an easy, happy life, So no dude is
gonna intentionally put himself in that spot. You know, if
he doesn't remember little things that are important to you.
Oh yeah, if he gets the small details if you're
a coffee order, name of your childhood pet, or the
story you've told him a dozen times. Yeah, I mean
I've always pride myself on the little details, you know. Yeah,
(05:55):
that to me, it shows your care, especially like a
childhood pet. You should definitely know. And if it is
the go to order, like I knew my exes all
other orders, and so I would often bring food to
work to like surprise him for luncheon, that kind of stuff. Yeah,
if he hasn't know that, I would say he's not observant.
This is not good period. He thinks he's in trouble.
(06:16):
When you need space, ooh boy. If your man takes
your knee for solitude as sign of something's wrong, kid
mean he doesn't understand how you recharge. I would also
say it goes how you lay it out right, if
you drop the I just need space. That's tough. That's
a tough one. But I think like you're saying, oh,
(06:37):
I'm gonna stay tonight and do X Y and Z. Yeah,
I know I said many times before I I love
having space. I love giving space. I couldn't imagine being
around somebody twenty four hours a day, I would go
absolutely crazy if he has no clue what your strengths are, girl, Yes, yes, yes.
(07:00):
Do you feel like he doesn't recognized your nique talents
and abilities. If you feel like that, dump his ass.
They say, maybe you're an amazing cook, problem solving wizard,
someone who lights up the room with your humor. If
he downplays our norther's strengths, it can feel like he's
missing the vile part of who you are. If he
downplays your shrengths, it will flip it. If anybody you're
with downplays your strengths, get rid of that person. We
(07:23):
had talked earlier this week. I guess last week in
the show about this dude who want to say there's
a little secrets. He as a side gig, trades baseball cards,
and he hasn't told his girlfriend because she was embarrassed
at her words not mine when he was working at
the airport, and I was like, dump her, dumper, dude,
(07:43):
that shouldn't matter. It's a good job. You know, you're
putting work in, you're paying your bills. She can't support
you for that. Get rid of her ass. If he
glazes over when you're really happy. Yeah, they say, when
something amazing happens in your life, does he match your
excitement or brush it off? Sharing happiness is the corner
stone of connection. Yeah. This goes back to again, if
(08:06):
you damper somebody's light. You know, if they're excited about
something and you put a water out in that fire,
you're a doucher, especially your own person. Like they're excited
about something to you make them feel dumb about it.
Why it doesn't take away your happiness. It's not like, oh,
they're happy now I can't be as happy. That's not
(08:28):
how that works. Do one more Ooh he thinks you're
the same person as when you met Durum. That could
be a problem. Yeah. People grow and change over time.
Relationships should adapt to those changes. If your man still
sees you the person you were years ago, with acknowledging
your growth, it can feel like you suck in the past. Yes,
(08:49):
I would also say, yeah, standards change. What you're willing
to put up with changes, what makes you happy changes.
I mean, if they're not observant to that, it's a
pretty big one. It's a pretty big one. As always, friend, happy,
healthy relationship, as I wish for you. If you a
gad chance to follow at intern Gen Radio, I would
(09:11):
greatly appreciate it. We'll see you next week.
And a happy Monday friend. Welcome to the thoughts Shower.
Intern John is my name. It was a weekend, indeed
a weekend. On let's see Friday, boys had a game
a coach hockey at George Shown. PREPP had a game
out in Odenton, which means it was about an hour
and a half there and back. Got their first league
(00:20):
win of the year, which was very exciting. Happy for them.
Wanting to shootout, very terrifying. Our last four games, I
believe have been a shootout, so it's nice to get one.
Then on Saturday, I wasn't feeling great at all and
I haven't been for a minute, so Saturday literally did nothing.
I started to rewatch Severance, which was this has been great.
(00:43):
If you haven't watched Severance and Apple TV, it is fantastic.
Dare I say? The idea is, there's this company that
puts an implant in your brain that separates your home
self from your work self. So if I walk in
the radio station and I have this procedure, I know
nothing about my life at home. Once I leave the station,
I know nothing about my life of work. But the
(01:05):
problem is, like the U that's at work lives at
work basically twenty four to seven. So it's good. It's
up a jack off my me, it's I think it's fantastic.
And so it's on season three, no Season two. Episode
three comes out on Friday. If you haven't watched it,
I say it is very good. So that on Saturday
yesterday went to the bottom involved with Hide Social and
(01:27):
Clerinon we hosted the Commander's Game, which was that was tough. Man.
I felt bad. I think that franchise had rough obviously.
I mean, I still maintain the Vikings are the worst
franchise ever. People will say the Bills, but the Bills
have been super Bowls. The Vikings have done nothing in
my years on this planet. But it was fun. The
(01:50):
vibes are good. Unfortunate that it's the Chiefs again that
kind of sucks, but not much you can do there.
And this week got a lot going on, some big meetings,
some big hockey games, got some big projects to work on.
So we're doing that. I just want to say again
huge thanks to everybody's reachhout. You know, we're still figuring
(02:12):
things out day by day. It's still process. You know,
it's there'll be a month this week without Chewy which
is crazy in a way. It's flown by in a way. Also,
it's been the longest month of my life, you know.
And yeah, we're still grieving. Had a breakdown last night.
That was very exciting. Although I mean, be honest, I've
(02:33):
cried every single day for him, Yeah, every day, which
is again. I was talking to somebody the other day
about how is crazy with small dogs the hole they leave,
And that's been a common theme among people I've talked
to who have lost animals, particularly small dogs. They all
say the same thing, like, it's crazy how big of
a hole a small dog can leave. And that small
(02:57):
dog left the biggest hole he did. And but we're
we're getting through, you know, we're trying to survive. Got
some big trips coming hopefully. I'm very excited. In April,
my dad, my brother and I are going to a
cigar convention New Orleans, which will be very exciting. I
went a couple of years ago to Las Vegas. Going
to New Orleans w a fun guy's trip, kind of lines
(03:19):
up my brother's birthday. That would be very fun. And
then work on some other stuff as well. Let's get
into this though, how to know your man doesn't understand
the real you, Oh boy, be honest. As men, we
don't understand much. There's not much we fully understand what
we try sorry with. He assumes he's the center of
your world. That's tough, Yeah, they say, does he believe
(03:42):
that your whole world revolves around him? While love is
important part of happiness, it's not the only part. If
a man assumes he's the sole reason for your joy,
it could mean he doesn't fully see you as an
individual with your own passions and needs. I've always said
I never want to be somebody's only source of joy
and happiness. For one thing. That's a lot of pressure
(04:04):
to put on yourself. You know, I don't want that.
I can't make myself happy, you know what I mean? Like,
I can't do that. I sure as hell can I
do for somebody else? All the time? What we do
it He doesn't understand why you get excited by some things. Yeah,
if you ever gushed about something you love only met
with a distract, a nod, or a change the subject.
(04:24):
Your man doesn't show interest in the things make your
eyes lit up, you can feel like party is being dismissed. Yeah,
I think that's tough, you know, I've also believed to
you that I don't like folks who make people feel
dumb for liking things like their hobby or whatever it is.
I think a big one. I have a bunch of
(04:46):
female friends, like when Taylor re released the Red album
in All Too Well like that. Yeah, a lot of
girls are really into that. A lot of dudes, like
I don't get it. It's like, fella, it's not for
you to get you know what I mean. If she's
happy about it, they'd be happy if if he seems
perplexed by your emotions. I'll defend dudes on this. We
I mean, we just don't know, you know what I mean?
(05:09):
They say, having notice the often misses the mark when
comes understanding how you feel. Yeah, but I think again,
most dudes, and I've said this at nauseum, but any
dude is worth it doesn't want you to be upset
at him. So if you are, he probably has no
idea what he did. No dude wants to be the doghouse.
(05:30):
Dudes want an easy, happy life, So no dude is
gonna intentionally put himself in that spot. You know, if
he doesn't remember little things that are important to you.
Oh yeah, if he gets the small details if you're
a coffee order, name of your childhood pet, or the
story you've told him a dozen times. Yeah, I mean
I've always pride myself on the little details, you know. Yeah,
(05:55):
that to me, it shows your care, especially like a
childhood pet. You should definitely know. And if it is
the go to order, like I knew my exes all
other orders, and so I would often bring food to
work to like surprise him for luncheon, that kind of stuff. Yeah,
if he hasn't know that, I would say he's not observant.
This is not good period. He thinks he's in trouble.
(06:16):
When you need space, ooh boy. If your man takes
your knee for solitude as sign of something's wrong, kid
mean he doesn't understand how you recharge. I would also
say it goes how you lay it out right, if
you drop the I just need space. That's tough. That's
a tough one. But I think like you're saying, oh,
(06:37):
I'm gonna stay tonight and do X Y and Z. Yeah,
I know I said many times before I I love
having space. I love giving space. I couldn't imagine being
around somebody twenty four hours a day, I would go
absolutely crazy if he has no clue what your strengths are, girl, Yes, yes, yes.
(07:00):
Do you feel like he doesn't recognized your nique talents
and abilities. If you feel like that, dump his ass.
They say, maybe you're an amazing cook, problem solving wizard,
someone who lights up the room with your humor. If
he downplays our norther's strengths, it can feel like he's
missing the vile part of who you are. If he
downplays your shrengths, it will flip it. If anybody you're
with downplays your strengths, get rid of that person. We
(07:23):
had talked earlier this week. I guess last week in
the show about this dude who want to say there's
a little secrets. He as a side gig, trades baseball cards,
and he hasn't told his girlfriend because she was embarrassed
at her words not mine when he was working at
the airport, and I was like, dump her, dumper, dude,
(07:43):
that shouldn't matter. It's a good job. You know, you're
putting work in, you're paying your bills. She can't support
you for that. Get rid of her ass. If he
glazes over when you're really happy. Yeah, they say, when
something amazing happens in your life, does he match your
excitement or brush it off? Sharing happiness is the corner
stone of connection. Yeah. This goes back to again, if
(08:06):
you damper somebody's light. You know, if they're excited about
something and you put a water out in that fire,
you're a doucher, especially your own person. Like they're excited
about something to you make them feel dumb about it.
Why it doesn't take away your happiness. It's not like, oh,
they're happy now I can't be as happy. That's not
(08:28):
how that works. Do one more Ooh he thinks you're
the same person as when you met Durum. That could
be a problem. Yeah. People grow and change over time.
Relationships should adapt to those changes. If your man still
sees you the person you were years ago, with acknowledging
your growth, it can feel like you suck in the past. Yes,
(08:49):
I would also say, yeah, standards change. What you're willing
to put up with changes, what makes you happy changes.
I mean, if they're not observant to that, it's a
pretty big one. It's a pretty big one. As always, friend, happy,
healthy relationship, as I wish for you. If you a
gad chance to follow at intern Gen Radio, I would
(09:11):
greatly appreciate it. We'll see you next week.
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