Small Talk? - 1138

On this episode of The Thought Shower, Inter John recaps his week, plus how to be better at small talk

If you missed the Chuy Forever comedy shows, but still want to get merch to support Warrior Canine Connection, you can order at InternJohnComedy.com

Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
And a Happy Friday. Friend.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Welcome to the Thought Shower. Intern John is my name.
It's been a week. Been a week. Still feel like
I'm kind of recovering from the Birthday weekend. Also, it's
just kind of like a lot going on this week
in general, you know, Birthday weekend. Then on Tuesday we
had the Jonas Brothers show Jiffy Lube. Then I had

(00:24):
a good work meeting, then it had TV SUF So
a lot of running around this week, which is a
good thing. It's good in this industry to be busy.
I've said that by a million times before. I talked
to my other friends who do music and do media,
and we always kind of talk about how like when

(00:46):
we were younger, we dreamed of having this much work
because that meant we were hot, if that makes sense,
Like it wouldn't be good if I wasn't this busy.
It'd be very bad for the brand. If all of
a sudden, like I wasn't doing these extra things, that
means that the show isn't doing well.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
So that's kind of the.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
The give and take is like, hey, we're doing a
lot of stuff because we're wanting places, and that's a
good thing. Though this weekend, hopefully we're wanting nowhere. That's
kind of the goal. The new football game Madden just
came out. This came out yesterday.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
That's kind of my plan. This weekend.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
I'll probably be going to the bar as well. Guy
do some work there, which you know, it's fun. You
get a chance to come out, hide social and Clarendon,
you know, and then this weekend's kind of just decompressed
a little bit. I say that every weekend because that's
always the goal, is to like do nothing. I'm hoping

(01:40):
to do it. Hopefully you get a chance to relax,
take skittles out and do some things. Listen, I appreciate
you hanging on this Friday. Let's get into this, shall
we Let me get to this fear Friday?

Speaker 1 (01:53):
How to be better at small talking.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
I will be the first to say I'm not great
at small time, or at least I wasn't. I think
I've gotten better. I think if I can just pat
myself in the back, I think doing the show has
maybe better a small talk because I feel like you're
doing so many calls today. Like helps me talk to people,
But these are the ways to do without sound like

(02:17):
a robot sorry with at the top.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Be curious.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
One of the most effective ways to master small talk
is to be curious about the people you meet. People
love to talk about themselves. I do think that is
the easiest way to do it not However, that is
contingent on the person you're talking to having something to say.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
You know what I mean? If you ask like, what's
to do? Nothing? What's your favorite movie? I don't know,
what's your last vacation the beach? Like?

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, the person you're talking to, you has to give
you something. But overall, asking questions is fantastic. I think
it also helps ease the tension for the other person
because they feel like you care, like they feel like
you're in that what they're saying. Learn how to observe
they say. Observing your surroundings can provide great material for

(03:06):
small talk, whether you're at networking event, casual gathering. Take
note of your environment. Is there any interesting piece of
art on the wall, maybe a quirky history of the venue, whatever.
I think I'm good at this, but I think it's
mainly because I'm add and that's why I think like
people watching can be some of the most fun things
to do now full disclosure, I am not great at

(03:27):
like I hate going to like grand openings of things,
like those types of like I don't even know what
you call them, events where it's like people are there
to be seen. I hate those kinds of events. But
even just having something to kind of like spark conversation
does make those things a little bit easier keep up
with current events. I'll say this not to pass on

(03:50):
the back. I think our show does that well. Where
like things we talk about in the show, I'll bring
up in conversation with other people. We talked about this
past week in the show, how this woman for her
wedding put all the single people. I printed off photos
of them and put my se at paper so that
at the wedding everybody knew who was single. That to

(04:12):
me is like an easy thing to bring up, like,
oh my god, did you hear about this?

Speaker 1 (04:17):
This? This?

Speaker 2 (04:18):
That kind of stuff I think is good and so
like again, not to paw ourselves in the back. I
think that kind of like water cooler talk. We're pretty
good at that kind of stuff. Fine common ground instantly, yeah,
I mean discovering shit interest experiences can transform a service
level chat into a meaningful conversation. Yeah, I mean that's
like hobbies, movies, Like there's gotta be something in common, right,

(04:43):
I mean with But nowadays I sound old. It is
hard I think to find like entertainment stuff everybody has seen,
Like what's the last movie that the majority of people
have seen theaters? Maybe Wicked? I ain't see Worker though,
maybe Barbie maybe that was it. But like so that

(05:03):
I think is kind of interesting thing about nowadays it's
like that can be hard. But at least if it's
like music, like last concert you went to, that's pretty going,
pretty easy going. You can I talk about the concert experience.
In general, practice active listening. They say active listening is
more than just hearing words. It's about fully engaging with
the speaker. By focusing entirely on the other person, you

(05:25):
demonstrate respect and make them feel heard. I think that again,
like doing this show has made me an active listener.
I had somebody ask me once and deciding I pride
myself on like my interviews, like I work really hard
with them. I think I'm good those And I told
them like, yeah, but I'm pretty good at interviews because

(05:46):
you know, on the show again, talking a couple hundred
people a day. It's like a chance to really listen
and like if somebody brings up something that I think
is interesting, I'll try to remember, like, oh, make sure
you come back to this.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
I go back to like this little thing.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
If they're like, oh, like I was late for work
because my puppy was had femal puppy and then I
was going to work.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
I saw Godzilla.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
Obviously it's extreme, but I'm remember like, Okay, it's your puppy,
Like what's what's puppy's name, and like that kind of
stuff where the person goes, oh, oh, they're listening, you
then paying attention. I've always said this with interviews, you
can tell the worst one. You can tell an interview
where the person doing the interview isn't listening because they're
just going question one, two, three, four, five, six, Like

(06:30):
it doesn't feel like a conversation. It feels like, okay,
answer that one, next topic, and it just kind of
feels like very uh chopped. I guess if that makes sense.
Bring humor to the equation, they say, a well time
joke or lighthearted comment can ease tension, make a conversation
more enjoyable.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
Here's the problem, though, You gotta know the audience. Man, Like,
there's nothing worse than when.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
Things are awkward and you crack a joke and nobody
laughs and you go, Okay, now it's worse. Now I
go put my head in a blender. You know what
I'm saying. But that's why I think having like the
awareness of your situation makes things easier that way, because
then it's like, oh, if there is something we're in
the wall, or somebody's dressed weird, whatever, that kind of

(07:12):
stuff can help ease tension a little bit. Avoid monopolizing
the conversation. Uh yeah, yeah, they say, Well, it's important
to share your own stories and insights dominating the conversation
and be off putting, aim for a balanced exchange by
giving others a chance to speak. This goes back to
like the fact that everybody likes to talk about themselves,

(07:32):
no doubt, And like we've all been there where you're
in a group setting and one person's talking the entire
time and it's like, Yo, my god, do you ever
take a breath?

Speaker 1 (07:43):
Do you ever want to stop? Yeah? Me, do you
ever want to just hey, listen to somebody else?

Speaker 2 (07:48):
You know what I'm saying, Uh, use names to personalize
the interaction. I try to get better at that. That's
always tough, though. I'm so bad with names. I'm so
bad with f It's it's like, I don't know, I
don't know if one of those people were like I'm afraid, like,
oh what if I forget my own name? But like

(08:08):
on the phone, it's a little bit easier in person
for me. For whatever reason, I just don't know. Maybe
I get overstimulated. Maybe that's what it is. I'm not
too sure, but I have a hard time with that.
But they're staying though, Like when you use somebody's name
and conversation, that makes them feel seen and makes them
feel heard, which no doubt makes sense. Mind your pacing
and tone, I have a problem with this, but I

(08:32):
have read that if you speak with a cadence in
a certain pace to your speech, that'll make people listen more.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
I think that's fair.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
They say the speed in tone of your speech can
greatly affect how your message is received. Speaking too quickly
can overwhelm a listener. Ha, sorry, that's what I do. Yeah,
while slow pace might make them lose interest, I talk
way too fast.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Uh you know that just kind of is it? That's
I've worked on it.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
I get too excited sometimes or if my like my
brain gets like three sentences ahead of what I'm saying.
That's the other problem. It is what it is. We're
working on it. You know, all good recognize when to
exit gracefully.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
They say.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
Knowing when to conclude a conversation is as important as
starting one. If the dialogue has run its course, or
if you sense the other person needs to move on,
be gracious and wrapping things up. I think that is big.
I try wrap up early. That's just kind of like
my vibe, like, okay, well, it's great talking to you.
There is the old adage of it's best to lead
people wanting more than to be like, oh, this should

(09:38):
ended a long time ago. And that's the same with
like interviews on the show too, like there's nothing worse,
and like if an interview with a celebrity goes on
too long and it's boring, you'd rather have them wanting more,
both the listener and both the person you're talking to
you as well. I hope you have a fantastic weekend.
I appreciate you hanging out. Make sure you follow along
at intern Genre Radio It's Thashower s