July 30, 2025 • 10 mins
On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks about how to know if someone is using you!
If you missed the Chuy Forever comedy shows, but still want to get merch to support Warrior Canine Connection, you can order at InternJohnComedy.com
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
If you missed the Chuy Forever comedy shows, but still want to get merch to support Warrior Canine Connection, you can order at InternJohnComedy.com
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And a happy Wednesday friend. Welcome to the thought Shower
intern John is my name. Been a relaxing week so far,
which is good, your boy? Need you that I went
to bet at like seven thirty on Monday. That's how
tired of been recently. Now a lock going on this week,
which is also It's a good thing. You know, I
get rarely I get weeks where I can do well,
(00:22):
not nothing, so I have to do the show and
that kind of stuff, but to kind of relax the
last couple of weeks with TV and with a comedy too.
Wrapping guy a little bit crazy. Although my birthday next Tuesday.
We're going to do a party at my bar, Hide
Social next Saturday, the ninth, which is very exciting. Is
it weird throwing yourself a birthday party as an adult man?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (00:46):
However, when you have ownership's sake in a restaurant and
you need to make money, it makes sense. It makes sense.
Hopefully people come out, buy some drinks, have a good time,
you know, relax, do all that stuff. Make it a
lot of fun. Then now, the other plan this week
is trying to get some golfing. It's been you know,
(01:07):
golf is something I enjoyed doing with my friends because
it's more of a relaxing thing than anything else. However,
it's been so hot this past couple of weeks that
it's been a miserable experience. Although Friday is supposed to
be like eighty s at trying to find place to
go on Friday to I do that, But like I
do feel bad because, like Skittles hasn't had a chance
(01:27):
to go out and run around because it's like ninety
degrees my backyard. Haven't had a chance to like cut
the little grass I have because it's too dang hot. Dude,
to our workers who work outside, I cannot imagine. So
thank you for all that you do. Stay cool this week,
stay hydrated this week, you know, all of the above,
(01:49):
and then some let's get to this for your Wednesday.
How to tell somebody is just using you. I like
to think that I have a fairly good good radar
on this. I certainly think that giving the job that
I'm in, maybe happens a little bit more, you know
(02:09):
what I mean, especially sometimes obvious like tickets asking for
tickets to a show, or like hey, will you post this?
But I think this is still good to go through right,
Life's too short to have somebody a leeching on you.
Starting with if they're always asking for favors. If they're
always asking for favors and rarely doing them for you,
it's a sign they're using you.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
I think this.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Is huge, especially if it's like can you pick me
up from the airport? Can you help me move? Can you?
You know whatever? If they're asking you, friends will do
things for each other, you know what I mean. I
know that sounds obvious, right, But if they're always asking
and rarely following through, they're using you. If they cancel
plans last minute, they say, everyone has moments when plans
(02:55):
need to change, but someone's consistently can I can't slay
on you last minute? Could be read flag It says
it suggests they not value your time as much as
their own. I would also say, my first thought goes
to they're using you as a placeholder, and again, it sucks.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I get it, We've all been there.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
But it's like, yeah, they're using you as a placeholder
to find something better. Until they find something better, they'll
just kind of be like, all right, well we'll make
plans on Thursday, and then they're gonna try and find
all the plans. It's not great. It's not great. They
only reach out when they need something. I've noticed this
with friends. I've I've mentioned this on the show, and
(03:35):
I think it's true. You know, when you're a kid,
you take for granted that most of your friends you're
friends with because of the situation. You go to the
same school, you're on the same sports team, you're in
the same you know, youth group, whatever. And then like
as you go your separate way to high school or
college or wherever, you have to actually put the work
(03:56):
in to maintain the relationship. And that's where a lot
of relationships kind of fall by the wayside. I have
people now that I know when they reach out it's like, oh,
I'm about to be asked something. You know, about to
be asked something, and I tend to be like, hmm,
don't even want to read the text.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
If they make you feel guilty for saying no, this
is issy. Is saying no to somebody results in you
feeling guilty or being made to feel bad, that's a
big red flag. You have the right to say no.
Respectful friend of partner will understand and accept your decision.
If they try guilt trip you and doing what they want,
it shows lack of respect for your boundaries. Yes, I
(04:36):
think also because a real friend knows how busy you are.
You know, if I have a friend who asked me
to do something, I said, oh I can't, I need
to recharge, I'm blessed. My friends like they get that.
Especially the last couple of weeks I've been like running
on empty.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I think I've had a full weekend home maybe once
in the last two months, something like that. So I
think that's huge. And even with my friends if like
you know, my friends DJ Rise and Andrew Day, we
go golfing, try go golfing weekly. But they also work
in the entertainment industry. You know, Rise is one of
the best DJs in d C. Andrew is one of
(05:14):
the best musicians in DC. So it's like, I know
they're busy. So if they can't we're trying to do
golf in this Friday Andrew as a show. It's like, yeah,
I get it, dude, Like, you know, we're busy. I
completely understand if they rarely show appreciation. This is one
of my biggest pet peeves, aside from being late I
would say my other big two are not owning when
(05:36):
you make a mistake. I hate that, especially in the workplace.
Like that to me is you know the analogy I use,
like a football analogy. If you're the offensive lineman and
you let the quarterback get sacked because you make a mistake,
you better say sorry or that trust is going to
be gone, you know what I mean. It's not like
(05:59):
say you're sorry, get crucified. It's more of like I
just say you're sorry. We can man up, so to speak,
and move on. But also the not share appreciation for
things that do the why that really bothers me. It
just does. And it's not that I need the praise.
It's not that I need a parade in a cookie,
although that would be nice. It would be nice ice
(06:21):
cream cake perhaps, But it is like, you know, acknowledging
that you did something for somebody that you appreciated. I
think that's the big thing. Is like if you do
something for somebody and it's not appreciated, it feels more
like you're expected to do it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
And I think that everybody's time is valuable.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
I try and make everybody feel appreciated because It's like,
I know, everybody's busy, so somebody doesn't do that.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yet, no thank you.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
If they disappear when you need them, this is the
hallmark of like friendship, you know. And I go back
to when Chew we passed away. There are some people
in my life who didn't reach out, which, in hindsight,
now that I've had chance to kind of go through
the emotions and certainly still am, it's like the most
bizarre thing. Ever, how could you not reach out? And
(07:08):
then I have like the really good friends I got
to talk about dj Riyse Andrew again, who reached out
every couple of days like hey to.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Checking in, Hey to checking in? Like for me, I
would feel so bad.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I mean, I guess that's that's the thing, right, if
they are really a friend, you'd be there because if
you they were a friend and he didn't show up,
I think the guilt would get to you.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
You know.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
If they make promises they don't keep h they say
promises should mean something. By someone's frequently breaking them, it's
a sign they might be using you. Making promises they
don't keep shows a lack of respect for your time
and trust. I would say probably big for the trust thing,
because making a promise to me is like it's like
a verbal contract, right, and so to break that means
(07:55):
I think they believe it doesn't quite matter like they
can break your trust, they can break the verbal contract
because you'll still be around. And again, I don't think
it's fun to say this stuff, but I do think
there is something to that. If they take credit for
your ideas or efforts, man, I try to share, like
(08:18):
the credit with everybody.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
I think that makes a team better.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
I just again, I couldn't imagine doing that with a friend,
like taking something that they worked hard on and then
taking credit for it, even if it's something that you
know somebody gave me a little bit of help with.
I make sure to kind of blow them up because
you know you're gonna nee it down the line. I've
always said with myself like I'm very confident. And part
(08:46):
of that reason is is because I think I've built
a good group of friends who I know will ride
or die with whatever it is. And part of that's
making sure they get blown up and they get their
their flowers when needed. Last one I'll hit is they
disregard your boundaries. This to me is a big one,
especially if it's like, if you I think, let's go
(09:07):
to dry January, probably the easiest. A lot of folks
do dry January, where you stop drinking a month of January.
If you go out and you tell a friend I'm
not drinking tonight and they push you to drink, that's
not a good friend.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Like that is that is not Or if you say hey,
please don't bring this up in front of people and
they continue to do it, that's not a good friend.
I've had to have that talk with folks before, especially
because my life is so weird. Sometimes I'm like, hey,
like I'm a pretty relatively private person in like real life.
So if I have friends who I feel like are
telling my business, I'm like, no.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
No, thank you.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Look I say this because I want you to be happy.
And I think if you listen to the show, you
know that's the case. Life' SHOs short for cheap friends,
bad friends, sheep, liquor, all that good stuff. I hope
you have a great Wednesday. Make sure you fall along
at interns Gien Radio than Shower
And a happy Wednesday friend. Welcome to the thought Shower
intern John is my name. Been a relaxing week so far,
which is good, your boy? Need you that I went
to bet at like seven thirty on Monday. That's how
tired of been recently. Now a lock going on this week,
which is also It's a good thing. You know, I
get rarely I get weeks where I can do well,
(00:22):
not nothing, so I have to do the show and
that kind of stuff, but to kind of relax the
last couple of weeks with TV and with a comedy too.
Wrapping guy a little bit crazy. Although my birthday next Tuesday.
We're going to do a party at my bar, Hide
Social next Saturday, the ninth, which is very exciting. Is
it weird throwing yourself a birthday party as an adult man?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (00:46):
However, when you have ownership's sake in a restaurant and
you need to make money, it makes sense. It makes sense.
Hopefully people come out, buy some drinks, have a good time,
you know, relax, do all that stuff. Make it a
lot of fun. Then now, the other plan this week
is trying to get some golfing. It's been you know,
(01:07):
golf is something I enjoyed doing with my friends because
it's more of a relaxing thing than anything else. However,
it's been so hot this past couple of weeks that
it's been a miserable experience. Although Friday is supposed to
be like eighty s at trying to find place to
go on Friday to I do that, But like I
do feel bad because, like Skittles hasn't had a chance
(01:27):
to go out and run around because it's like ninety
degrees my backyard. Haven't had a chance to like cut
the little grass I have because it's too dang hot. Dude,
to our workers who work outside, I cannot imagine. So
thank you for all that you do. Stay cool this week,
stay hydrated this week, you know, all of the above,
(01:49):
and then some let's get to this for your Wednesday.
How to tell somebody is just using you. I like
to think that I have a fairly good good radar
on this. I certainly think that giving the job that
I'm in, maybe happens a little bit more, you know
(02:09):
what I mean, especially sometimes obvious like tickets asking for
tickets to a show, or like hey, will you post this?
But I think this is still good to go through right,
Life's too short to have somebody a leeching on you.
Starting with if they're always asking for favors. If they're
always asking for favors and rarely doing them for you,
it's a sign they're using you.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
I think this.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Is huge, especially if it's like can you pick me
up from the airport? Can you help me move? Can you?
You know whatever? If they're asking you, friends will do
things for each other, you know what I mean. I
know that sounds obvious, right, But if they're always asking
and rarely following through, they're using you. If they cancel
plans last minute, they say, everyone has moments when plans
(02:55):
need to change, but someone's consistently can I can't slay
on you last minute? Could be read flag It says
it suggests they not value your time as much as
their own. I would also say, my first thought goes
to they're using you as a placeholder, and again, it sucks.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I get it, We've all been there.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
But it's like, yeah, they're using you as a placeholder
to find something better. Until they find something better, they'll
just kind of be like, all right, well we'll make
plans on Thursday, and then they're gonna try and find
all the plans. It's not great. It's not great. They
only reach out when they need something. I've noticed this
with friends. I've I've mentioned this on the show, and
(03:35):
I think it's true. You know, when you're a kid,
you take for granted that most of your friends you're
friends with because of the situation. You go to the
same school, you're on the same sports team, you're in
the same you know, youth group, whatever. And then like
as you go your separate way to high school or
college or wherever, you have to actually put the work
(03:56):
in to maintain the relationship. And that's where a lot
of relationships kind of fall by the wayside. I have
people now that I know when they reach out it's like, oh,
I'm about to be asked something. You know, about to
be asked something, and I tend to be like, hmm,
don't even want to read the text.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
If they make you feel guilty for saying no, this
is issy. Is saying no to somebody results in you
feeling guilty or being made to feel bad, that's a
big red flag. You have the right to say no.
Respectful friend of partner will understand and accept your decision.
If they try guilt trip you and doing what they want,
it shows lack of respect for your boundaries. Yes, I
(04:36):
think also because a real friend knows how busy you are.
You know, if I have a friend who asked me
to do something, I said, oh I can't, I need
to recharge, I'm blessed. My friends like they get that.
Especially the last couple of weeks I've been like running
on empty.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I think I've had a full weekend home maybe once
in the last two months, something like that. So I
think that's huge. And even with my friends if like
you know, my friends DJ Rise and Andrew Day, we
go golfing, try go golfing weekly. But they also work
in the entertainment industry. You know, Rise is one of
the best DJs in d C. Andrew is one of
(05:14):
the best musicians in DC. So it's like, I know
they're busy. So if they can't we're trying to do
golf in this Friday Andrew as a show. It's like, yeah,
I get it, dude, Like, you know, we're busy. I
completely understand if they rarely show appreciation. This is one
of my biggest pet peeves, aside from being late I
would say my other big two are not owning when
(05:36):
you make a mistake. I hate that, especially in the workplace.
Like that to me is you know the analogy I use,
like a football analogy. If you're the offensive lineman and
you let the quarterback get sacked because you make a mistake,
you better say sorry or that trust is going to
be gone, you know what I mean. It's not like
(05:59):
say you're sorry, get crucified. It's more of like I
just say you're sorry. We can man up, so to speak,
and move on. But also the not share appreciation for
things that do the why that really bothers me. It
just does. And it's not that I need the praise.
It's not that I need a parade in a cookie,
although that would be nice. It would be nice ice
(06:21):
cream cake perhaps, But it is like, you know, acknowledging
that you did something for somebody that you appreciated. I
think that's the big thing. Is like if you do
something for somebody and it's not appreciated, it feels more
like you're expected to do it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
And I think that everybody's time is valuable.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
I try and make everybody feel appreciated because It's like,
I know, everybody's busy, so somebody doesn't do that.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yet, no thank you.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
If they disappear when you need them, this is the
hallmark of like friendship, you know. And I go back
to when Chew we passed away. There are some people
in my life who didn't reach out, which, in hindsight,
now that I've had chance to kind of go through
the emotions and certainly still am, it's like the most
bizarre thing. Ever, how could you not reach out? And
(07:08):
then I have like the really good friends I got
to talk about dj Riyse Andrew again, who reached out
every couple of days like hey to.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Checking in, Hey to checking in? Like for me, I
would feel so bad.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I mean, I guess that's that's the thing, right, if
they are really a friend, you'd be there because if
you they were a friend and he didn't show up,
I think the guilt would get to you.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
You know.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
If they make promises they don't keep h they say
promises should mean something. By someone's frequently breaking them, it's
a sign they might be using you. Making promises they
don't keep shows a lack of respect for your time
and trust. I would say probably big for the trust thing,
because making a promise to me is like it's like
a verbal contract, right, and so to break that means
(07:55):
I think they believe it doesn't quite matter like they
can break your trust, they can break the verbal contract
because you'll still be around. And again, I don't think
it's fun to say this stuff, but I do think
there is something to that. If they take credit for
your ideas or efforts, man, I try to share, like
(08:18):
the credit with everybody.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
I think that makes a team better.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
I just again, I couldn't imagine doing that with a friend,
like taking something that they worked hard on and then
taking credit for it, even if it's something that you
know somebody gave me a little bit of help with.
I make sure to kind of blow them up because
you know you're gonna nee it down the line. I've
always said with myself like I'm very confident. And part
(08:46):
of that reason is is because I think I've built
a good group of friends who I know will ride
or die with whatever it is. And part of that's
making sure they get blown up and they get their
their flowers when needed. Last one I'll hit is they
disregard your boundaries. This to me is a big one,
especially if it's like, if you I think, let's go
(09:07):
to dry January, probably the easiest. A lot of folks
do dry January, where you stop drinking a month of January.
If you go out and you tell a friend I'm
not drinking tonight and they push you to drink, that's
not a good friend.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Like that is that is not Or if you say hey,
please don't bring this up in front of people and
they continue to do it, that's not a good friend.
I've had to have that talk with folks before, especially
because my life is so weird. Sometimes I'm like, hey,
like I'm a pretty relatively private person in like real life.
So if I have friends who I feel like are
telling my business, I'm like, no.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
No, thank you.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Look I say this because I want you to be happy.
And I think if you listen to the show, you
know that's the case. Life' SHOs short for cheap friends,
bad friends, sheep, liquor, all that good stuff. I hope
you have a great Wednesday. Make sure you fall along
at interns Gien Radio than Shower
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