Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod -10th November, 2025

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; we're chatting about bidets...

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
From the Zidium podcast Network.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
It's Fleetborn and Haley's a little bit of pod Welcome
to a little bit of pod homies.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Listen. I understand that some people have a real passion
for the for the bidet. Often when you travel over
seas of Japan or whatever, people love a.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Bidet as a bidet to do it yourself.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
No, that's a budget bidet.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
Ho in southeast you see those in the cold number
two nothing like a cold jet of water.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
On the no, no, no. Yesterday I was visiting. I
was visiting the house of a stranger. This wasn't a
hock cup, by the way, this was a professional okay.
And I said, Misscoozie, where's the toilet busting for a slash?
But there was there was a sentence I chose to
go with, and he was like, oh yeah, walk here there,

(01:01):
and then he sort of guided me through the house
right into the toilet, and I was like odd. And
then I saw the toilet and I was like, oh, okay, one,
it's it's ugly as all hell, right because it's one
of those bidet in the toilet things with like a
wall panel of buttons.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
And I had one of the I had one of
these ash. It was an attachment on the toilet in
Vietnam at a hotel, and it was it was booty.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
It could warm this whole toilet multidirectional jets.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Okay, here's my thing. To the second thing, I clocked
there is no toilet paper, so the bidet is a
must use.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Now I only needed a WII, and I tried with
all my mind to change that, but it was wheeze
only just.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
Because you're like, well, I'm here, I may as well
try it.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
So I do. My I sit down and he sort
of says like, yeah, this sort of the thing. He's like,
push a few buttons and have a bit of a go.
And I was like all right. So he leaves me
and I sit down in a urinate as I'm want
to do. How it comes as per usual, urination completes,
it's time to sort it out. Usually in my home,
I would roll a small amount of toilet paper around

(02:10):
my hand. Damn, I dab, I don't wipe. I wanted
to be so rough with her. Dab dab dab dab
dab flush and we got we got, we go, We've
got here. I'm like, okay, so I look at the buttons,
and I see jets like little logo, and so I go,
that's it. That's what a bidet does. It's gonna sprits

(02:30):
me in the fanny and that'll be the cleaning bit done.
So I pushed there and then hmm, and then warm
jets of water like like bull's eye my anus.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Do you think there is.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Like I couldn't have possessions.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
Thirty five gits nigh and done boom like straight into
the center of the anus.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Warm water. Okay, Now I didn't do anything from the anus,
so this is completely are miscessarily at this point, do
you know what I mean? But the anus is getting
a bonus plane.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
I couldn't believe the accuracy at which this thing jittered
me in the anus. But the fandango's left unwhited. I mean,
at this point, I've dripped, dried, you know what I mean.
I'm kind of like I'm over it.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
And then so I don't like, wait, so the button's
right behind you, because they're on the side were a
toilet roll would normally go.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
You know what I mean, no toilet roll numb.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
It is wild.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
So I do that and then I and then I
see wind moji, So I warm breeze the anus. So
the anus despite doing no work as crystal plane.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Now are we talking at Dyson level?

Speaker 1 (03:42):
No?

Speaker 3 (03:42):
No, no warm or cold like a like a mall
hand dry.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
But that's nice.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
Though it was all soft and light.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
It wasn't like inflated like a fucking balloon.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
No, you catch is a loose left opens and just fill.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
You don't want to hire pol ear compressor? No, no.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
So so I'm here with my fresh anus, and but
I've pee, and so I push another button to try.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
To get the china okay.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
And it does another one where it sort of runs
a stream from front to back.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
Oh wait, you're back. You're back on the water.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
I'm back on the waters. And it's it has it's
it's collected the front were of weight, but it's also
given the anus a secondary clean. So I now I've
cleaned the anus.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
Great, it's so full on.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
And then I had to dry it again with another
did the dryer moved forward because it knew now that
that's when I was doing.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
It's almost like a car I was going to say,
like a car wash, because the

Speaker 1 (04:50):
Third button had this big flat