August 6, 2024 • 20 mins
On this episode of The Daily Bespoke Podcast, the fellas are joined by friend of the show, Ben Hurley!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
It's good persons. Welcome all you bespoke you donkies to
the Daily Met and Jerry Bespoke podcast. It is the
seventh of August and the Year of Our Lord twenty
(00:36):
twenty four and joining us on the pod as Ben
Hurley of Ben Hurley Fan.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Oh, I get the music and everything in Cauter Caulder
kyonder than It's wonderful Ben.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Now do you when you're out and about do you
get recognized more for Ben Hurliness or for Ben Hurley
on seven Sharpness?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Oh, it's very much a demograph exploited may Yeah. Yeah,
if they're boomers. They're boomers then it's definitely. Yeah. That's good.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
You've got a four quadrant career then, I guess so
because you've been entertaining men on.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
On panel shows.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yes, mainly men listen.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
To watch shows.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I think seven Days it's blokey. It definitely used to
be more blokey.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah when it was all blokes, when it was.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
All it was literally all blokes. Yeah, but no, it's
it's a pretty even split there. I was just down
to Timado on on Friday doing an event and there's
some ladies there of my of my age and slightly
older who were big seven days.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Mend yeah, yeah. And did you get a Dean Heath custard?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
I didn't, but that is that is the custod square
to go for you what they're so good. I think
they came to my attention because of Josh Thompson, who
was obsessed with them because he's from there.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, And I was obsessed with them from driving through
there for many years and you'd get a tray on
your way through and bring them back and even want
to be very excited there. But there's something that they do.
There's something about the custard that's so.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I think it's myth. Is it the myth?
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah, because you do.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Get outrageously excited about them. And I went through once
and we missed them. They were closed and we couldn't
get them. And I got and I've been talking to
Lee Baker because I was traveling with Lee Baker, and
I was saying, you know Lee Baker from the ACC
and and I saister Lee Baker, there's a bloody great
And then they were closed and then I got really antsy,
like an addict would get if they turned up to
(02:36):
the house and hen they didn't have the stuff they sit.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
There and I have, and then the samurai swords, and yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
It was the full. It was a full Anthony Dixon.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I used to think that New Zealand didn't have those
kind of regional specialties, you know, like in America, the
sit in city. Yeah, you've got to go to the
place and get the thing. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Like I only recently found out their buffalo wings are
called buffalo wings because they're originated in Buffalo, and the
best buffalo wings are in the in Buffalo.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Because they made out of chickens.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Not that confused me my whole freaking life. What do
you mean buffalo wings? I thought it was trying to
say that they were sort of big, but then they
come out and they weren't big, normal normal wings.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Is going to sound silly, but I thought it was
something to do with the fact that they were really spicy,
spicy enough to take down Buffalo.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Until you said that, I didn't know. Yeah, So Zealand,
I've talked about this before my hometown of Dunedin. You've
got bloody cheese rolls.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yes, or is that that's Southland?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
No, Southland tries to claim it, but it's actually serious.
It's always been in This is a huge claim.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah, like South can quite friendly funk off when it
comes to that, as can people that make gourmet cheese
rolls with it. They they whole mill bred them up
and they try and mix with the program.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Okay, I think the best cheese role I ever had
was at a at a cafe in Raicago though, and
it was whole not wholemeal were but that sort of
seed nutty bread. Yeah, you don't care for that.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
No, I don't really, but but I don't know. I
went to a garden bar, like you know, like a
cafe and a garden center in Doneda and they have
being too fancy pants with their with their cheese rolls.
So you've got that and also the chop sewey patty,
which is a Dunedan delicacy. And you've also got the
protein cream shake that's also a Dnedan delicate delicacy. So
(04:21):
those three things are really region or whatever.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
It's not much house, but you know, I mean, the
thing we do better than anywhere in the world is pies,
right match eyes, And that's why the Pie Awards are
literally it's literally the biggest event in New Zealand, like
bigger than the Music Awards or the TV Awards more
to V Awards.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
It's flasher. Yeah, it's an incredible event.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
The Night of Nights and yeah, further what you're saying,
people have their pie shop that they swear by, their
local pie shop and coincidentally rung you or a bakery
board and the Supreme Pie winning the Slow Cooks Cocked
and Beef, Yeah, which is a beef rang dang and
(05:08):
a pie really, but it was freaking delicious.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, yeah, it was good man.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
Look to be honest, I hope who's not listening straight
through me?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Straight through?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Well, you're from Kaipos, so it's sort of it's a
little bit flavor for you.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Yeah, there's way too much flavoring.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Yeah yeah, sort of those fancy playing or types with
their with their fancy pis.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
You hadn't had chili before your twenty second birthday?
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Oh I had it. No, it's still getting used to that.
I mean I've now I sometimes straight into the medium
curry twenty five next month, So.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
I Sally, this has been three Men of the World.
Now I've been looking I think with an upland girls.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
But it helps, yeah, trying new things.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
Yeah, oh yeah, I've been trying plenty of new things.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Don't you know about that man with the girl?
Speaker 5 (05:49):
No, let's not talk about that.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
I'm okay, Well, he doesn't know what we're talking about.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
You would do anything for love, but you won't do that.
There meat sort of a meat loaf bottom line.
Speaker 5 (06:00):
I don't even know if i'd add that I won't
do that part. I think I'd just do anything for love.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, I'll do anything for love. But isn't he saying
he wouldn't cheat on it? When you see what it
is when you unpeack the song, I won't fall around and.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Sooner or lady, you'll be screwing around.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
No. Yeah, so it was like an anti cuck situation.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yes, that is a sort of a Gary in the
corner step situation. Yeah, meet life, won't do that. I
wouldn't do that. No, I wouldn't say I would not.
I would be so unkeen to be on the cut
cheer when someone else was making love to my to
a significant.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Other, Yeah, I would.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
I Actually, I can't think of it. There's nearly nothing
i'd be less keen on.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Do you know what I think it would happen to me?
Speaker 3 (06:39):
I'd be so unkeen on that.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I think eventually i'd get my phone out it start
filling it. No, just on.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Instagram, I am playing shuty skuy.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Yeah, I'd get a more live stream it. Yeah, I
mean I can't. I struggle to watch a TV show
without get him a phone out. But if someone's going
hammer and tongs some myst significant other, then is.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
That sort of cuck thing? It must be Where does
it come from? It must be sort of a punishment,
like a flagellation thing, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Like what I think if you are getting off on that,
you've run out of things.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
You've run out of things.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Yeah, you've seen it all, You've possibly done quite a lot. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
It seems to me to be completely at odds with
our general emotions.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
It makes no evolutionary sense.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
No, absolutely none at all. Yeah, No, I'm not into it.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
I mean we're cacking. Yeah, not a huge kind of
fan of that.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
I mean wish you said yes and we just d
your This.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Is such a shift from the f M.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Brook We're locked up like nuns and a nunnery during
the FM broadcast. We're shut down with censored We're basically
half our personalities are running every time anyone says anything,
there's twenty five other offensive things that come into your
head that you want to say that you have to
you have to suppress it, basically, Buddy nineteen eighty four.
(08:00):
So George or William nightmare a nightmare on the FIM broadcast.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
But yeah, no, no, not a huge fan of cooking,
and in my life.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
The professional broadcaster brings it back though here good work.
Speaker 5 (08:12):
I just don't know though, in all seriousness, when I
can't see a time of my life for raga, you
know what I feel like doing tonight?
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Yeah, because I went.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Down pardon the pun, but I went down a rabbit
hole about this on the internet. And the dudes they
are into it are so proud of it. Yeah right,
they're like, maybe you think about me.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Maybe they're better than us. Maybe they're just braver and
more confident in themselves. Maybe maybe cucks are the best
of us.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I don't know if that's the name for the podcast. Yeah,
the other cuts the best of us might be. I mean,
share and share are.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Like yeah, and then you're so confident in yourself that
you just enjoy seeing your partner being pleasured by a
better specimen.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
And it's a kid you know, we've got fathers in
the room. As a kid, what do you that's the
first thing you teach your kids and you yell at them.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Share yeah, and then what a yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
And then the kidshould you go about But you're not
sharing mummy with another man, so shove that up to
your dad.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
You don't here there?
Speaker 5 (09:09):
Do you?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Kids?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Go there?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Say?
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Well, how come uncle Gary? It wasn't allowed to.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Get in the.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
Up next, we'll are we playing a song here?
Speaker 2 (09:23):
No?
Speaker 3 (09:23):
No, I guess we'll go for the airs.
Speaker 5 (09:24):
Oh sorry, I thought we're in the radio.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Radio Todd would be at the window like a zombie.
And twenty eight days later.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Up next, I'll tell you someone that I saw and
crouching in London who thought he was somewhere else doing
something in a bank.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Here's the chilies.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yeah, and that was the food Fighter.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
You're back on the Metingerry Daily bespoke podcast to play
for your weekday. So once you know you're talking before
about how we were on the podcast, and then only
there's a little bit of a freak out we're not
on the actual FM broadcast because the stuff you say
on the podcast would cause all kinds of consternation if
it was on the FM broadcast. I was in a
(10:09):
bank and crouching and in London once and there was
a guy and he sat down on the chair in
the bank and pulled his pants down and started having a.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Go at, having a gary at himself.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
And one of the women came around from behind the
things and let him out the door and took him home.
And she had a phone and she called someone. And
it wasn't an old guy. I'd say, he's in his forties.
But he had a mental problem that this other woman
told me. When I asked in the bank or did
he where? He didn't know where he was, so he
actually thought he was in his room at home. He'd
(10:45):
go out and then be completely confused as to where
he was, which.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Is part of it.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
But it's kind of funny that he was joking off
at home, but anyway, he was doing it in the bank.
And so can you imagine the situation where you kind
of like a quantum leap situation where you suddenly realize
where you are and that's what you're doing hard to
come back from that.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
There's a real wink bank. Yeah, the bank. Look, it
took me fifteen to twenty seconds it's the dark end
of very good. There you go.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
That's the dark end of the wank bank situation, isn't it.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Why do they?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Why what I'm saying just to finish my train of
thought that could happen to us one day. We're just
doing the podcast, so you know, we look up and
we're on them broadcast.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
It's not a million miles away from you know, when
you get up in the night when you had a few,
and you do we's in a weird place. I did
weeze in the wardrobe months Yeah, yeah, it's weird.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
You can like I've done that before as well, but
you kind of make something like like you'll open.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
A drawer or something.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, well I opened the wardrobe and I remember doing
we's in the wardrobe and thinking this is awesome, Like
why don't I always do this? Why do I always
go to the toilet when this right here? Like it's
like two sticks from my bed.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I grew up on a farm, and I grew up
in the barn, Like my room was in the barn.
So for my entire childhood, I never weed in a toilet,
Like toilets were only for number.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Two, So it always just have a door open and
were out the door.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
Because I appreciate what you're saying so much. It's just
a difference between weing and ejaculating, like I think of being.
You wake up in the middle of the night and
you pop out your door and then you just start
working yourself off into the middle of the gutter.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, I've been doing this. I live rally, so it
wouldn't really matter.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
I really thought the trainer thought you were going down, Matt,
was that you're imagining that you're sitting at home and
you're giving it to yourself and then suddenly you quantum
leap to somewhere else. Imagine the worst place that would be.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
That's right. I thought you were going oh, all right,
where he was? And then suddenly he was the mirror. Yeah,
he saw himself in the mirror and he was a
surgeon and he was garrying into a patient. Yeah you did.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Musta didn't see that episod must have it's in the
new series, that's in the reboot. My point is that
I blamed me just flinging the door open of rooms
I was on and winging into the hallway one time
on the fact that I thought I was back in
the bar so there was opened the door and then
my girlfriends like, what are you doing?
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Is I'm having a WII?
Speaker 1 (13:20):
She's like, and to the hallway and I'm like, ah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
I just I just thought I was winging.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
So was that not alcohol inflicted either?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
No?
Speaker 3 (13:29):
That was messive.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
Alcohol stinks of alcohol?
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Which did you? You infantilize a little bit when you
when you're really steamed, right, but you go back to
your childhood, those those initial synapses that have that have
formed in your brain. Yeah, yeah, the pathways?
Speaker 5 (13:45):
Is that what the pants man ended up weighing in
his girlfriends? You're conditioning in it after a night out.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Clearly he did that as a child and shut himself,
shuts himself.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
But once again that's into the you know, there's like
when we did the eleven commandment for good life, one
of them was never go to the toilet in a dream.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
So I wonder if you if you are you and
you kind of are in a dream, aren't you?
Speaker 1 (14:07):
If you if you're fire trucking, and that you've put
some kind of logic to it, you kind of sleep walking,
there's sort of a story. You've put a narrative to it.
I wonder when that narrative comes in when you sort
of have the realization you're winging, and then you go, ah,
I must be in a but I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
A friend of mine he got up in the middle
of the night and went he was traveling with his
girlfriend and went over and opened their suitcase and sat
down on all of their clothes and did we all
through their clothes? And he said the most embarrassing thing
was for him that he that he sat down like
(14:44):
he never sits down to why did he suddenly sit down.
It's like just totally emasculated.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
There's a horrific story in my book about someone doing
that in a couch. Andy Anderson, the drummer from The Cure,
he was one of the He was a drum from
the Cure.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
For a while. He was also a New Zealand Australian actor.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yeah, yeah, he was a a garrier. He weed and
Robert Smith's suitcase on two successful nights and got kicked
out of the kicked out of the band because he
opened up suitcase and weed and excellently and then and
then and then he did the second night, and then
(15:24):
then Robert Smith worked out he had done it on purpose.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Both nights I mean, Robert Smith is already sad. Yeah,
it's not going to make it more sad.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Isn't it weird that we live in a world where
maybe that's winners depression started?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
He started eating in terrible way, isn't he?
Speaker 5 (15:40):
When we that wheeze is essentially the worst thing you
could do to a suitcase, because it's like the best
thing I could do, ironically, like weirdly and maybe ironically
it is a genulate. There's the least clean up.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
In the second least be doing it my favor if
I go, yeah, if I.
Speaker 5 (15:55):
Take a dump in your suitcase, nearly nothing personal.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Yeah, like white, load of styles, yeah, well a.
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Load of stars for example, if I come along into
a ship in your suitcase being.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, that's better than a week, way better, doesn't it?
Speaker 1 (16:08):
And it could electricals as well, just volumes. Someone could
have the Nintendo switch in there.
Speaker 5 (16:13):
Do you know what I've always had a fear of,
And that's because I watched the documentary when I was younger.
It was when you're taking if you took awe in
the Amazons.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
That could.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
Any truth swim up my whole life, thinking that there
are fishes in the Amazon that could go back up
my jepsy.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Have you traveled to the Amazon?
Speaker 5 (16:32):
No, I need have so I don't need to worry
about it. So I need to find out. I was
wondering if any of you guys knew this.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
I've always wondered if that with backward facing spines, once
they get up there and they lock into your urethra.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
I mean, that's just I'm sorry for bringing in.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Well, we had to move from.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Can you actually swim up a because you can, you
can swim up a current, right, but can you actually
swim a stream?
Speaker 3 (16:58):
There's a waterfall essentially, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I think you'd have to have a pretty strong and
because constant stream. Yeah, so maybe if you just if
you do we in the Amazon, you just do it
and bursts use the fishes are like halfway up and
then bomb that you're on the ground and the dinner.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
Stone.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
That tiny urine fish.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah, I know that one's too small to throw it back.
What's what's the length of urine fish that you're allowed
to keep?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
You'd have to it'd have to be a white bait
type situation. You have to make a fritter.
Speaker 5 (17:29):
Anything that doesn't fit you can keep by things all.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
So, uh, this has been what Jeremy Wells would call
a wide ranging chat. He loves he loves that phrase. Well,
that was a wide ranging chat.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Apparently it is a myth. The physics of fluid dynamics
make it impost. That's what well.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Speaking of professors told me when I was a kid
that eels if you spend too long on the toilet,
eels will swim up and bite your ass. And so
I was terrified going to the toilet was the toilet.
But then years later I realized he was just just
a saying for don't spend so much time on the toilet.
It was like if you if you staying there any longer,
a will eel swim up there and bite your ass.
(18:12):
He probably only said it once as a joke, but
it actually tormented me, And it wasn't till as much
much older than I went, Oh.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
No, there's no eels that are swimming up toilets.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
And he said to bite your mom, not to go
up your mom.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
No, bite your mom.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
That might make you stay and I'd be in there
all bloody.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
I was a real pervot when I was eight. Anyway,
thank you so much for coming in.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
It took a turn, but it didn't. It went exactly
as it was going straight at the gat.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
You think you've been hearly for coming in and joining
us on the Spoke podcast.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Pleasure starts next week.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Start that task Masters Sunday afternoons after your motor just
before your motors board on a Sunday.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
After before what's his name was going to say.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
About Jeff Bryan. Would he present Countrywide Bank Grandstand?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
He did? Yeah, Jeff Roane still does radio stuff.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
What was Countrywide Bank Grandstand?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
It was like a roundup of all sport on a
Sunday for the sport, and then was the motorsport after
that or before that? And then I think it was
part of it. And then there was only three sports
that then remember yeah, there was only cricket, rugby and
motorsport in the eighties. And then people started doing other sports. Yeah,
both football.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
And yeah, yeah, weird fringe sports like basketball, yeah, golf.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
All right, then you've seen busy will let you go?
Speaker 2 (19:33):
All right?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
I have great Radio Highlights podcast today.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
I can really back that up. I can't remember it
was on it, but amazing Ben Hurley was, Yeah, Hurley
was on it.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Oh yeah, so if you didn't like this, I'm on
that too, so probably just churn on tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
You've seen busy, We'll let you go all right then, Hello,
I'm Matt Heath. You have been listening to the Matt
and Jerry Daily Bespoke podcast. Right now you can listen
to our Radio Highlights podcast, which you will absolutely get
barred up about anyway. Set to download, like, subscribe, write, review,
all those great things. It really helps myself and Jerry
and to a lesser extent, mess and ruder. If you
(20:12):
want to discuss anything raised in this pod, check out
the Conclave, a Matt and Jerry Facebook discussion group. And
while I'm plugging stuff, my book, A Lifeless Punishing Thirteen
Ways to Love the Life You've Got is out now get.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
It wherever you get your books, or just google the bastard.
Anyway you seem busy, I'll let you go. Bless blessed, blessed,
give them a taste of key we from me,
It's good persons. Welcome all you bespoke you donkies to
the Daily Met and Jerry Bespoke podcast. It is the
seventh of August and the Year of Our Lord twenty
(00:36):
twenty four and joining us on the pod as Ben
Hurley of Ben Hurley Fan.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Oh, I get the music and everything in Cauter Caulder
kyonder than It's wonderful Ben.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Now do you when you're out and about do you
get recognized more for Ben Hurliness or for Ben Hurley
on seven Sharpness?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Oh, it's very much a demograph exploited may Yeah. Yeah,
if they're boomers. They're boomers then it's definitely. Yeah. That's good.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
You've got a four quadrant career then, I guess so
because you've been entertaining men on.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
On panel shows.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yes, mainly men listen.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
To watch shows.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I think seven Days it's blokey. It definitely used to
be more blokey.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah when it was all blokes, when it was.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
All it was literally all blokes. Yeah, but no, it's
it's a pretty even split there. I was just down
to Timado on on Friday doing an event and there's
some ladies there of my of my age and slightly
older who were big seven days.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Mend yeah, yeah. And did you get a Dean Heath custard?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
I didn't, but that is that is the custod square
to go for you what they're so good. I think
they came to my attention because of Josh Thompson, who
was obsessed with them because he's from there.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, And I was obsessed with them from driving through
there for many years and you'd get a tray on
your way through and bring them back and even want
to be very excited there. But there's something that they do.
There's something about the custard that's so.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I think it's myth. Is it the myth?
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah, because you do.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Get outrageously excited about them. And I went through once
and we missed them. They were closed and we couldn't
get them. And I got and I've been talking to
Lee Baker because I was traveling with Lee Baker, and
I was saying, you know Lee Baker from the ACC
and and I saister Lee Baker, there's a bloody great
And then they were closed and then I got really antsy,
like an addict would get if they turned up to
(02:36):
the house and hen they didn't have the stuff they sit.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
There and I have, and then the samurai swords, and yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
It was the full. It was a full Anthony Dixon.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I used to think that New Zealand didn't have those
kind of regional specialties, you know, like in America, the
sit in city. Yeah, you've got to go to the
place and get the thing. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Like I only recently found out their buffalo wings are
called buffalo wings because they're originated in Buffalo, and the
best buffalo wings are in the in Buffalo.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Because they made out of chickens.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Not that confused me my whole freaking life. What do
you mean buffalo wings? I thought it was trying to
say that they were sort of big, but then they
come out and they weren't big, normal normal wings.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Is going to sound silly, but I thought it was
something to do with the fact that they were really spicy,
spicy enough to take down Buffalo.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Until you said that, I didn't know. Yeah, So Zealand,
I've talked about this before my hometown of Dunedin. You've
got bloody cheese rolls.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yes, or is that that's Southland?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
No, Southland tries to claim it, but it's actually serious.
It's always been in This is a huge claim.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah, like South can quite friendly funk off when it
comes to that, as can people that make gourmet cheese
rolls with it. They they whole mill bred them up
and they try and mix with the program.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Okay, I think the best cheese role I ever had
was at a at a cafe in Raicago though, and
it was whole not wholemeal were but that sort of
seed nutty bread. Yeah, you don't care for that.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
No, I don't really, but but I don't know. I
went to a garden bar, like you know, like a
cafe and a garden center in Doneda and they have
being too fancy pants with their with their cheese rolls.
So you've got that and also the chop sewey patty,
which is a Dunedan delicacy. And you've also got the
protein cream shake that's also a Dnedan delicate delicacy. So
(04:21):
those three things are really region or whatever.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
It's not much house, but you know, I mean, the
thing we do better than anywhere in the world is pies,
right match eyes, And that's why the Pie Awards are
literally it's literally the biggest event in New Zealand, like
bigger than the Music Awards or the TV Awards more
to V Awards.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
It's flasher. Yeah, it's an incredible event.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
The Night of Nights and yeah, further what you're saying,
people have their pie shop that they swear by, their
local pie shop and coincidentally rung you or a bakery
board and the Supreme Pie winning the Slow Cooks Cocked
and Beef, Yeah, which is a beef rang dang and
(05:08):
a pie really, but it was freaking delicious.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, yeah, it was good man.
Speaker 5 (05:13):
Look to be honest, I hope who's not listening straight
through me?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Straight through?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Well, you're from Kaipos, so it's sort of it's a
little bit flavor for you.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Yeah, there's way too much flavoring.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Yeah yeah, sort of those fancy playing or types with
their with their fancy pis.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
You hadn't had chili before your twenty second birthday?
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Oh I had it. No, it's still getting used to that.
I mean I've now I sometimes straight into the medium
curry twenty five next month, So.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
I Sally, this has been three Men of the World.
Now I've been looking I think with an upland girls.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
But it helps, yeah, trying new things.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
Yeah, oh yeah, I've been trying plenty of new things.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Don't you know about that man with the girl?
Speaker 5 (05:49):
No, let's not talk about that.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
I'm okay, Well, he doesn't know what we're talking about.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
You would do anything for love, but you won't do that.
There meat sort of a meat loaf bottom line.
Speaker 5 (06:00):
I don't even know if i'd add that I won't
do that part. I think I'd just do anything for love.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, I'll do anything for love. But isn't he saying
he wouldn't cheat on it? When you see what it
is when you unpeack the song, I won't fall around and.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Sooner or lady, you'll be screwing around.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
No. Yeah, so it was like an anti cuck situation.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yes, that is a sort of a Gary in the
corner step situation. Yeah, meet life, won't do that. I
wouldn't do that. No, I wouldn't say I would not.
I would be so unkeen to be on the cut
cheer when someone else was making love to my to
a significant.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Other, Yeah, I would.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
I Actually, I can't think of it. There's nearly nothing
i'd be less keen on.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Do you know what I think it would happen to me?
Speaker 3 (06:39):
I'd be so unkeen on that.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I think eventually i'd get my phone out it start
filling it. No, just on.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Instagram, I am playing shuty skuy.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Yeah, I'd get a more live stream it. Yeah, I
mean I can't. I struggle to watch a TV show
without get him a phone out. But if someone's going
hammer and tongs some myst significant other, then is.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
That sort of cuck thing? It must be Where does
it come from? It must be sort of a punishment,
like a flagellation thing, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Like what I think if you are getting off on that,
you've run out of things.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
You've run out of things.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Yeah, you've seen it all, You've possibly done quite a lot. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
It seems to me to be completely at odds with
our general emotions.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
It makes no evolutionary sense.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
No, absolutely none at all. Yeah, No, I'm not into it.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
I mean we're cacking. Yeah, not a huge kind of
fan of that.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
I mean wish you said yes and we just d
your This.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Is such a shift from the f M.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Brook We're locked up like nuns and a nunnery during
the FM broadcast. We're shut down with censored We're basically
half our personalities are running every time anyone says anything,
there's twenty five other offensive things that come into your
head that you want to say that you have to
you have to suppress it, basically, Buddy nineteen eighty four.
(08:00):
So George or William nightmare a nightmare on the FIM broadcast.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
But yeah, no, no, not a huge fan of cooking,
and in my life.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
The professional broadcaster brings it back though here good work.
Speaker 5 (08:12):
I just don't know though, in all seriousness, when I
can't see a time of my life for raga, you
know what I feel like doing tonight?
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Yeah, because I went.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Down pardon the pun, but I went down a rabbit
hole about this on the internet. And the dudes they
are into it are so proud of it. Yeah right,
they're like, maybe you think about me.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Maybe they're better than us. Maybe they're just braver and
more confident in themselves. Maybe maybe cucks are the best
of us.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
I don't know if that's the name for the podcast. Yeah,
the other cuts the best of us might be. I mean,
share and share are.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Like yeah, and then you're so confident in yourself that
you just enjoy seeing your partner being pleasured by a
better specimen.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
And it's a kid you know, we've got fathers in
the room. As a kid, what do you that's the
first thing you teach your kids and you yell at them.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Share yeah, and then what a yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
And then the kidshould you go about But you're not
sharing mummy with another man, so shove that up to
your dad.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
You don't here there?
Speaker 5 (09:09):
Do you?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Kids?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Go there?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Say?
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Well, how come uncle Gary? It wasn't allowed to.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Get in the.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
Up next, we'll are we playing a song here?
Speaker 2 (09:23):
No?
Speaker 3 (09:23):
No, I guess we'll go for the airs.
Speaker 5 (09:24):
Oh sorry, I thought we're in the radio.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Radio Todd would be at the window like a zombie.
And twenty eight days later.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Up next, I'll tell you someone that I saw and
crouching in London who thought he was somewhere else doing
something in a bank.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
Here's the chilies.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yeah, and that was the food Fighter.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
You're back on the Metingerry Daily bespoke podcast to play
for your weekday. So once you know you're talking before
about how we were on the podcast, and then only
there's a little bit of a freak out we're not
on the actual FM broadcast because the stuff you say
on the podcast would cause all kinds of consternation if
it was on the FM broadcast. I was in a
(10:09):
bank and crouching and in London once and there was
a guy and he sat down on the chair in
the bank and pulled his pants down and started having a.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Go at, having a gary at himself.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
And one of the women came around from behind the
things and let him out the door and took him home.
And she had a phone and she called someone. And
it wasn't an old guy. I'd say, he's in his forties.
But he had a mental problem that this other woman
told me. When I asked in the bank or did
he where? He didn't know where he was, so he
actually thought he was in his room at home. He'd
(10:45):
go out and then be completely confused as to where
he was, which.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Is part of it.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
But it's kind of funny that he was joking off
at home, but anyway, he was doing it in the bank.
And so can you imagine the situation where you kind
of like a quantum leap situation where you suddenly realize
where you are and that's what you're doing hard to
come back from that.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
There's a real wink bank. Yeah, the bank. Look, it
took me fifteen to twenty seconds it's the dark end
of very good. There you go.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
That's the dark end of the wank bank situation, isn't it.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Why do they?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Why what I'm saying just to finish my train of
thought that could happen to us one day. We're just
doing the podcast, so you know, we look up and
we're on them broadcast.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
It's not a million miles away from you know, when
you get up in the night when you had a few,
and you do we's in a weird place. I did
weeze in the wardrobe months Yeah, yeah, it's weird.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
You can like I've done that before as well, but
you kind of make something like like you'll open.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
A drawer or something.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, well I opened the wardrobe and I remember doing
we's in the wardrobe and thinking this is awesome, Like
why don't I always do this? Why do I always
go to the toilet when this right here? Like it's
like two sticks from my bed.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I grew up on a farm, and I grew up
in the barn, Like my room was in the barn.
So for my entire childhood, I never weed in a toilet,
Like toilets were only for number.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Two, So it always just have a door open and
were out the door.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
Because I appreciate what you're saying so much. It's just
a difference between weing and ejaculating, like I think of being.
You wake up in the middle of the night and
you pop out your door and then you just start
working yourself off into the middle of the gutter.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, I've been doing this. I live rally, so it
wouldn't really matter.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
I really thought the trainer thought you were going down, Matt,
was that you're imagining that you're sitting at home and
you're giving it to yourself and then suddenly you quantum
leap to somewhere else. Imagine the worst place that would be.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
That's right. I thought you were going oh, all right,
where he was? And then suddenly he was the mirror. Yeah,
he saw himself in the mirror and he was a
surgeon and he was garrying into a patient. Yeah you did.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Musta didn't see that episod must have it's in the
new series, that's in the reboot. My point is that
I blamed me just flinging the door open of rooms
I was on and winging into the hallway one time
on the fact that I thought I was back in
the bar so there was opened the door and then
my girlfriends like, what are you doing?
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Is I'm having a WII?
Speaker 1 (13:20):
She's like, and to the hallway and I'm like, ah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
I just I just thought I was winging.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
So was that not alcohol inflicted either?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
No?
Speaker 3 (13:29):
That was messive.
Speaker 5 (13:29):
Alcohol stinks of alcohol?
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Which did you? You infantilize a little bit when you
when you're really steamed, right, but you go back to
your childhood, those those initial synapses that have that have
formed in your brain. Yeah, yeah, the pathways?
Speaker 5 (13:45):
Is that what the pants man ended up weighing in
his girlfriends? You're conditioning in it after a night out.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Clearly he did that as a child and shut himself,
shuts himself.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
But once again that's into the you know, there's like
when we did the eleven commandment for good life, one
of them was never go to the toilet in a dream.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
So I wonder if you if you are you and
you kind of are in a dream, aren't you?
Speaker 1 (14:07):
If you if you're fire trucking, and that you've put
some kind of logic to it, you kind of sleep walking,
there's sort of a story. You've put a narrative to it.
I wonder when that narrative comes in when you sort
of have the realization you're winging, and then you go, ah,
I must be in a but I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
A friend of mine he got up in the middle
of the night and went he was traveling with his
girlfriend and went over and opened their suitcase and sat
down on all of their clothes and did we all
through their clothes? And he said the most embarrassing thing
was for him that he that he sat down like
(14:44):
he never sits down to why did he suddenly sit down.
It's like just totally emasculated.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
There's a horrific story in my book about someone doing
that in a couch. Andy Anderson, the drummer from The Cure,
he was one of the He was a drum from
the Cure.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
For a while. He was also a New Zealand Australian actor.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yeah, yeah, he was a a garrier. He weed and
Robert Smith's suitcase on two successful nights and got kicked
out of the kicked out of the band because he
opened up suitcase and weed and excellently and then and
then and then he did the second night, and then
(15:24):
then Robert Smith worked out he had done it on purpose.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Both nights I mean, Robert Smith is already sad. Yeah,
it's not going to make it more sad.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Isn't it weird that we live in a world where
maybe that's winners depression started?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
He started eating in terrible way, isn't he?
Speaker 5 (15:40):
When we that wheeze is essentially the worst thing you
could do to a suitcase, because it's like the best
thing I could do, ironically, like weirdly and maybe ironically
it is a genulate. There's the least clean up.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
In the second least be doing it my favor if
I go, yeah, if I.
Speaker 5 (15:55):
Take a dump in your suitcase, nearly nothing personal.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Yeah, like white, load of styles, yeah, well a.
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Load of stars for example, if I come along into
a ship in your suitcase being.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, that's better than a week, way better, doesn't it?
Speaker 1 (16:08):
And it could electricals as well, just volumes. Someone could
have the Nintendo switch in there.
Speaker 5 (16:13):
Do you know what I've always had a fear of,
And that's because I watched the documentary when I was younger.
It was when you're taking if you took awe in
the Amazons.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
That could.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
Any truth swim up my whole life, thinking that there
are fishes in the Amazon that could go back up
my jepsy.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Have you traveled to the Amazon?
Speaker 5 (16:32):
No, I need have so I don't need to worry
about it. So I need to find out. I was
wondering if any of you guys knew this.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
I've always wondered if that with backward facing spines, once
they get up there and they lock into your urethra.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
I mean, that's just I'm sorry for bringing in.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Well, we had to move from.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Can you actually swim up a because you can, you
can swim up a current, right, but can you actually
swim a stream?
Speaker 3 (16:58):
There's a waterfall essentially, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I think you'd have to have a pretty strong and
because constant stream. Yeah, so maybe if you just if
you do we in the Amazon, you just do it
and bursts use the fishes are like halfway up and
then bomb that you're on the ground and the dinner.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
Stone.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
That tiny urine fish.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah, I know that one's too small to throw it back.
What's what's the length of urine fish that you're allowed
to keep?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
You'd have to it'd have to be a white bait
type situation. You have to make a fritter.
Speaker 5 (17:29):
Anything that doesn't fit you can keep by things all.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
So, uh, this has been what Jeremy Wells would call
a wide ranging chat. He loves he loves that phrase. Well,
that was a wide ranging chat.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Apparently it is a myth. The physics of fluid dynamics
make it impost. That's what well.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Speaking of professors told me when I was a kid
that eels if you spend too long on the toilet,
eels will swim up and bite your ass. And so
I was terrified going to the toilet was the toilet.
But then years later I realized he was just just
a saying for don't spend so much time on the toilet.
It was like if you if you staying there any longer,
a will eel swim up there and bite your ass.
(18:12):
He probably only said it once as a joke, but
it actually tormented me, And it wasn't till as much
much older than I went, Oh.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
No, there's no eels that are swimming up toilets.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
And he said to bite your mom, not to go
up your mom.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
No, bite your mom.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
That might make you stay and I'd be in there
all bloody.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
I was a real pervot when I was eight. Anyway,
thank you so much for coming in.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
It took a turn, but it didn't. It went exactly
as it was going straight at the gat.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
You think you've been hearly for coming in and joining
us on the Spoke podcast.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Pleasure starts next week.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Start that task Masters Sunday afternoons after your motor just
before your motors board on a Sunday.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
After before what's his name was going to say.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
About Jeff Bryan. Would he present Countrywide Bank Grandstand?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
He did? Yeah, Jeff Roane still does radio stuff.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
What was Countrywide Bank Grandstand?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
It was like a roundup of all sport on a
Sunday for the sport, and then was the motorsport after
that or before that? And then I think it was
part of it. And then there was only three sports
that then remember yeah, there was only cricket, rugby and
motorsport in the eighties. And then people started doing other sports. Yeah,
both football.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
And yeah, yeah, weird fringe sports like basketball, yeah, golf.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
All right, then you've seen busy will let you go?
Speaker 2 (19:33):
All right?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
I have great Radio Highlights podcast today.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
I can really back that up. I can't remember it
was on it, but amazing Ben Hurley was, Yeah, Hurley
was on it.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Oh yeah, so if you didn't like this, I'm on
that too, so probably just churn on tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
You've seen busy, We'll let you go all right then, Hello,
I'm Matt Heath. You have been listening to the Matt
and Jerry Daily Bespoke podcast. Right now you can listen
to our Radio Highlights podcast, which you will absolutely get
barred up about anyway. Set to download, like, subscribe, write, review,
all those great things. It really helps myself and Jerry
and to a lesser extent, mess and ruder. If you
(20:12):
want to discuss anything raised in this pod, check out
the Conclave, a Matt and Jerry Facebook discussion group. And
while I'm plugging stuff, my book, A Lifeless Punishing Thirteen
Ways to Love the Life You've Got is out now get.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
It wherever you get your books, or just google the bastard.
Anyway you seem busy, I'll let you go. Bless blessed, blessed,
give them a taste of key we from me,
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