📻Grim Lane - The Radio Show

Today on the Hauraki Breakfast, ACc Head G Lane is filling in whilst Jerry is away, and together Manaia and Lane decided to conduct another witch hunt to find out who is to blame for the Black Ferns loss on the weekend!

Plus we talk School Holiday Survival Tips and Tricks.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Hidarky Breakfast, load up on landscaping with Bunning straight.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
Oh yeah, my name's Sean, and I voted for Jerry
and Mania and this year's Rock two thousand.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
Good morning, welcome to the Hidarky Breakfast, Stacey, see here Glane,
and for Jeremy Wells today and for the rest of
the week.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
Morning Morning. Shawn's a great new Zealander, isn't hey? Isn't he?
Just in the voting?

Speaker 1 (00:28):
I wonder where we came. Is that countdown still going?

Speaker 3 (00:32):
I think so. I think it goes most of the year.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Two thousand just a fraction too long for me es.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
I don't want to be a spoiler.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
They don't count your vote. What what else isn't real?
I couldn't possibly say what else isn't real? I know
we say this every day, but today is no different.
As a huge, huge show after eight o'clock, we're bringing
the witch hunt back. We did this after the All
Black Slaves to South Africa, and it's a way of
getting the grieving process over and done with as a collective.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
Yeah, I'm down.

Speaker 4 (00:59):
McDonald Trump. Just take over Canada. Skip, Let's just finish them,
cancel them. I'm done you're.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Blaming Donald Trump yep for lack of action on the
Canada front. Yeah, I'm blaming Justin Trudeau. I'll tell you why.
After eight o'clock I'll be running that witch hunt. Plus
we're running a search for New Zealand's youngest craig after
seven o'clock. If I had to guess, I don't think
there's a craig under thirty.

Speaker 4 (01:20):
Not a hell of a lot of bruss either, not
a lot of bruces under any Rogers Roger us a shick.

Speaker 5 (01:27):
Oh your point, I would say.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
But coming up next, I'll find out how your weekend was, Gelane.
I've just told you all about mine, yep. Horrific. I
don't intend to share it with the listener.

Speaker 6 (01:40):
Jerran Man I the hold Ikey.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Breakfast, massive weekend of sport, Gelane, a huge weekend of sport,
and I think kind of glossed over by the Black
Fern's heavy defeat. Was the Shield switching hands yet again?

Speaker 4 (01:53):
Yeah, Tago beating Canterbury, get going up State Highway one
and just thiaving it off Cannabre What a great what
a great NPC season. The Shield's got the fourth This
is the fourth time it's changed hands.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
It's still two weekends to go.

Speaker 4 (02:07):
They've got Taranaki coming up, potentially, they've got North Harbor.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yes, so so Otago won it, so they take it
home and to remind people that it's a home that's
the only way you can get the shield is to
go to the other team's home and win against them.
Then you take the shield away. Well, Otago, who's just
got the shield, are now playing North Harbor this weekend
in North Harbor.

Speaker 3 (02:27):
North North Harbor yet to win a game.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
But isn't that exactly how this has been going.

Speaker 4 (02:33):
This It there is DNA from just about every corner
of New Zealand on that shield.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
After this NPC season, as you.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Put it into a time capsule in case we ever
get wiped out we need to restart. We've got We've
got every DNA from every corner of the country.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
It's good stuff.

Speaker 4 (02:48):
I'm looking forward to seeing footage of that up and
down Castle Street. Just terrible things happening to it down
there in Otago. If you're not doing that, you disappointment.
You're disappointed, was.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Disrespecting the log of word, isn't it? It is? So
then they go up and play North Harbor it can
conceivably end up in North Harbor. Imagine if that was
their one year win for the year as they win
the Shield.

Speaker 4 (03:07):
I after seeing them in the weekend my second favorite
team I was from Mulu and then in North Harbor.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
And then North Harbor is just around the corner for you.
Then if they did win that North Harbor the following
week they play Southland.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Ah South back to South.

Speaker 1 (03:21):
There is a world where the Shield ends up back
in Southend, where I think we can all agree it
probably means more than just about anywhere else the circle
of life. I can understand why people hate Canterbury Rugby
because there's a sense of inevitability, like it's going to
end up in Canterbary at some point.

Speaker 4 (03:35):
Yeah, and also you've got your new stadium. Everyone's banging
on about that.

Speaker 3 (03:38):
There's just a bit too repeated, if that's all. But yeah, just.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
After ending one of the shortest Loggerwood ten years ever,
Canterbury then turn around and lose it just about a
week longer than that one. That's heartbreaking. What else did
you have to on a weekend? You wouldn't play croquet?

Speaker 3 (03:52):
Yeah, played croquet on Satney.

Speaker 4 (03:55):
My father's eightieth birthday, So I found out, Yeah, happy
birthday date. But I found out that croquet is four
people who are too old to play golf and a
lot of rules, a lot of rules, and don't try
and do a trick shot, o k. Because you can
do a lot of trick shots and croquet including a jump,
you know, like when you jump a ball and pull
and you paranoid about ripping the felt. The same thing

(04:18):
happens on a croquet court. Just by the By the way,
what is the do they play on like a bowls?

Speaker 1 (04:23):
Lawns?

Speaker 4 (04:24):
Yeah, it's very very very very similar to bowls. But
apparently he's based play the trick shots in summer when
the ground's a bit harder and you don't take a
massive beaver tail out of the middle of it.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
So you went out there with a pitching which and
went to try and jump something, yeah, and tore the
course to shreets.

Speaker 4 (04:39):
Yeah, I'm just going to say undefeated and stuck on
it old suck on that.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
I've only played that once at a at a wedding
and I was like, I don't understand it, But once
I played it, I was like.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
It's quite evil.

Speaker 7 (04:52):
It is.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yeah, Yeah, there's a lot of waste someone else's ball.

Speaker 4 (04:55):
You can really psychologically damage someone by keeping on picking
on them and just smacking their ball.

Speaker 3 (04:59):
Out of play. And I did that to Anti Judy.

Speaker 4 (05:02):
Shouldn't like it. Auntie Judy, Rudy, pooty and the nudy
as we used to call her. She lost her marbles.
She did not enjoy being pumped out of the court.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
That she considered herself to be quite handy on the croquet.

Speaker 4 (05:11):
Yeah, she talked a big game and then she came
up against me and Uncle James and we just drilled here.

Speaker 8 (05:16):
There would have been quite the sledge though out on
the croquete course. What was it, Anti Judy, Rudy poody
ind Yeah, yeah, that would have troubled what eighty year old.

Speaker 4 (05:23):
You know, most of my kids were chanting that from
the sideline. Okay, I had a team behind me.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
So you are already he had straight off the straight
off the bet.

Speaker 8 (05:30):
It was when they pulled out Judy as a wanker
that was probably the real problem there.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
Yeah, that started to get a bit sp Sorry.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
It doesn't even rhyme. I got out and played a
little bit of golf over the weekend.

Speaker 7 (05:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
I had a couple of quiets on the course. Then
we went to a byo that turned into just we
really wowed the clock back to Uni days.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
Yeah. Nice.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
You know when you go to a bo and all
of a sudden it's a race someone sculling a glass
of wine. Then they're challenging you. Yeah, your manhoods on
the line. You've got to defend your family name. They
drop golf balls into the drink. That was.

Speaker 3 (05:58):
That's usually a sign of a big night when someone
drops a golf baller.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
I've got a friend, so we we used to played
God Save the Queen. So it's where you get a coin,
you chap that into the thing. Very similarly. Yeah, so
she's gonna drown unless you save her by getting get
freeing her from the liquid. And I have a friend
who was on acc because he had an angle grinder
explode in his hand. Yeah, and so he's one hand down.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
How can an angle sorry petrol? They oh, no, the disc. Ah,
So the disc shattered chartsman under the hand.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
He's in a cast on his left hand. They then
the coin comes out at the byo, it's God Save
the Queen. Someone goes to hit him for like the
fifth time, and he's like, I'm almost blacked out. I
need to defend myself. He puts his hand over the
glass just as this person comes out glass smashes cuts
the other hand, he's now in two hands. Let miss
the crabs the worst. Luckily that didn't happen to me,

(06:50):
but he came close to came very very close.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
You almost paid one hundred and fifty dollars almost by
the right hand I did.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
It took me about an hour to get home on
a fifteen minute journey.

Speaker 6 (07:01):
Jerry Muni the hold I keep breakfast time for.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
The history of yesterday, Today, Tomorrow, Timarule, Big day for
television Lane. Oh yeah, on this day in nineteen eighty nine,
Baywatch premiers.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
Oh there was formative.

Speaker 4 (07:14):
The opening titles to this formative part of my teenage years.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
I remember them being about twenty minutes long. They're opening titles.
Did just feel that way?

Speaker 4 (07:22):
I think it's because you stop and rewound it and
watch it over and over again. The slow mos with
they were groundbreaking, the slow mos. And anyone who grew up,
you know, beaged around twelve thirteen knows exactly what I'm
talking about.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
What even happened on that show. Did they just pull
a pull a drowning person out of the ocean once
of an episode?

Speaker 4 (07:40):
I don't think I ever saw anyone get pulled anyone
out of the ocean. All the action happened off the
the off the water. Yeah, you know, could any of
them next lely swim? No, I don't care, I don't caah.
There was no water safety undertones to it at all.
It was very No one learned any very above water
and a lot of buoyancy.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Ran for eleven seasons, concluded in two thousand and one
other two hundred and eighty six episode. At the time,
it was the most watched TV series by g Lane
and also in the world, with an estimated weekly audience
of one point one billion viewers.

Speaker 4 (08:13):
It was such a crap, Like, everything about it was
pretty crap, but there was just gratuitous kind of.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
So here's how here's how widespread it was, even one
hundred and forty eight countries. They translated it into forty
four language because it didn't matter what was happening on
the screen. It really didn't. They could have played it
Amanda and Chinese and you would have still watched that. Yeah,
absolutely in nineteen ninety four TV sitcom Friends debuts. Oh yep,

(08:40):
we blind rank them the other day worst to best friend.

Speaker 3 (08:45):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
Cast member Jerry hates Phoebe.

Speaker 4 (08:48):
Yeah, Phoebe rung rubs me up the wrong way too,
I don't. I mean, the quirkiness to me is a
bit shallow.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (08:54):
I don't know about that.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
But your Chandler, Guy.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
I wan, yeah, Chandler.

Speaker 4 (09:00):
Yeah, it was my probably my favorite actually really yeah
over Rachel Oh no, I mean I'm separating them into
bottle girls, right, yeah, good Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
Ten seasons, two hundred and thirty six episodes, has been
watched over one hundred billion times across various platforms and
it still plays now.

Speaker 4 (09:15):
Yeah, by the end of their By the end of Friends,
apparently they're getting paid a million dollars each per episode, right.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
And how long we are there? Like twenty episodes of season? Yeah,
it's twenty million year good time. And how easy would
it be in that tenth season to just sleepwalking the
place smelly Cat, I think.

Speaker 3 (09:31):
That's pretty much it. A million Chandler did it.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
By the end of it.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
They really caught up with him. In the end of.

Speaker 1 (09:37):
Nineteen seventy six TV drama Charlie's Angels premieres. I don't
know if you have saw that. On nineteen eighty two,
Family Ties premieres that.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
Oh yeah, this is a great part of a great
theme tune.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
We've talked about this a nause him on the show.
But the art of the intro song for a TV
sircom has has fallen by the way side. And I
blame cocaine lack of Yeah, back in the day, they
just locked themselves in the studio, start up a snowstorm
and come out with something like that. That's a polite

(10:09):
of it.

Speaker 7 (10:10):
So is it?

Speaker 4 (10:10):
It must be like is that primetime television season in
the US? Is this around this time of years coming
into into winter or something?

Speaker 3 (10:17):
Over there?

Speaker 1 (10:18):
Winter some holidays are out of the way. Also, nineteen
eighty seven, on this day, the first episode of Full.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
House, who was the dodgy uncle?

Speaker 8 (10:29):
What was his name of Uncle Joe Joey was the
dodgy one? Yeah, with Lallas Morrissett, with the going down
in the theater.

Speaker 3 (10:34):
Yeah, well Joey he yeah, he didn't have any kids
or anything. He was pisting around in the basement.

Speaker 4 (10:40):
It's a lot of suspicion there any you're going to
throw the Golden rule, act like one, looked like one
hiding and played.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
So nineteen ninety nine. The Whistling debut is two thousand
and three Two and a half Men premiers.

Speaker 4 (10:51):
You've got to watch the docco on Charlie Sheen watched
the Day. I'm just going to throw it out there.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
Some of his stories. I could have closed my eyes
and it was Lee Hart talk.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
Getting into the cockpit of the plane and taking it
off autopilot. Go and watch that one. That's it. That's
the home work for this week as the Charlie Sheen
documentary Man It's.

Speaker 4 (11:11):
Good and his co host from Two and a half Men,
who has got a hiccut lightly heart now he's just
like wow, what a ride.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
Yeah, he's like better, It's like better dog syndrome. He's like,
you just didn't know what was going to shoup? Was
he going to show up? Did not disappoint that documentary.

Speaker 4 (11:27):
The crew he hanged out with hung out with when
he was a teenager. He had like Sean Penn, George Clooney,
Emilio's brother. They were just all just shooting weird films
and smoking weed.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
I had no idea Amelio was his brother. I only
just learned that. I think I didn't even know that
Martin Jean was his dead. And at one point, one point,
he is so strung out on drugs and he just
swung into Slash's house from guns and roses and Slash
t him he needed help, and he's like the amount
of ship that guy's saying to tell me that I
need help? Turned a half Men Lost and in cis

(12:00):
all debut on this day as well Born on the Stave.
Martin Crow won this Ever, he's on ninety nine Wars
the Butt and he's got it the way. That's a
hunt after the ground. I know the kemmy's got up
himself charging out under the ground. But what a didn
Greg Chapel, The Magnificent endings Tony in a very fitting
century here for Martin Crowe. Does he make your all time, Sam?

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (12:23):
He does? Absolutely? Are Ik Martin Crow gone to soon?
He shares a.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
Birthday with Billy Piper, pop star and actress who starting
Doctor Hern's Secret Diary of Corgy.

Speaker 3 (12:33):
She's forty three today, only forty three?

Speaker 1 (12:36):
Only forty Yeah? I know because I feel like she
was when I was a kid. She was coming out
Honey to the Bee rock icon. Joan Jit's also sixty
seven today, and Andrea Bacelli, Italian tenor and classical crossover
art is also sixty seven today, same age as Joan Jit.

(12:56):
When I was at university, we came home wasted one
night after a red car and we learned all of
the lyrics to this song in Italian and English.

Speaker 3 (13:04):
You loses.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
Didn't go off for us that night at the bars.
And that is the history of yesterday. Today It's tomorrow,
Simmroy from Monday, the twenty second of September twenty twenty five.

Speaker 4 (13:15):
I had a blockbuster that was a blockbusterday Today tomorrow.

Speaker 6 (13:19):
Jerry in the night the hold I keep breakfast.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
It's time for your latest sports headlines. Thanks to expert
Ultra the bare for here.

Speaker 4 (13:26):
Max Vis strap On has won Formula ones, Azerbay, Jean
Grand Prix and Baku, but Liam Lawson, the Kiwi who
qualified third, has come in fifthy held off both Ferraris
and McLaren and Yuki Sonoda, the Evil Yuki Sonoda in
the Red Bull to get fifth place. Best finished for
him in Formula one see some move A few points

(13:48):
I got ten points from that, so he moves up
from fifteenth to thirteenth.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
Why is Max vis Stappen so good and why does
he keep winning all the time.

Speaker 4 (13:55):
He is one of the best to strap on and
you can't stop him, but he's a bit too far behind.
I think it's all about the McLaren's in terms of
taking out the championship. They've signed up the pretty much
sign up the constructors title and I think it's between
Pstree and Norris. He's left us run a bit too
late to strap on. How long does the season go
for I think there's probably I think it's about four
or five more races right around Europe and whatnot.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
Sort of finished about November or something.

Speaker 4 (14:19):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the one The six Panthers are
finishing off this season. The very crusaders style of the
Panthers and the NRL, the four time defending premiers, have
thrashed the Doggies forty six to twenty six to advance
to the preliminary final against the Broncos and Brisbane on
Sunday this Friday night with season the Storm host of

(14:40):
Sharks in Melbourne.

Speaker 1 (14:41):
Yeah, that was a huge upset. The Sharks knocking off
the Raiders. I kind of wanted the Raiders to win this.

Speaker 4 (14:45):
Yeah, they were my saying, because I saw the pain
they went through last week, which was very similar to
the twenty nineteen Cricket World Cup where they thought they'd
won multiple times.

Speaker 3 (14:54):
Oh I know, and then they last. And that's what
happened to us at Lord's.

Speaker 1 (14:57):
I think that was their undoing as well, because I
think when you lose a game like that, you mustn't
Because it felt inevitable that the Broncos were going to
win there, and I think that you you carry that
with you. I reckon they would have shown up over
the weekend and gone, we're going to lose again today.
I just feel it.

Speaker 4 (15:11):
I I hate to say that I'm almost putting my
eggs into the Broncos basket.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
Just because you want them to beat the Panthers, will
I just.

Speaker 4 (15:19):
Want them to beat the Panthers and I want them
to go well. But seeing re rolsh become public enemy
number one is quite my highlight as well, him doing
the double bird to the crowd, him just yelling obscenities
and then.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
Coming out and winning the game. Yeah, basically single handed
with great stuff. I know, the thing that the Panthers
are so annoying and sound the punishing in our old
chet alarm. But it's it's that all season they were
baked to the bottom of the tin. Then they go
on like a nine game winning streak.

Speaker 3 (15:44):
Sound familiar.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
Now they hit the playoffs yesterday or yes yesterday was
the first game that they had with all of their
players in their squad were available for selection.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
It's annoying. It's so annoying.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
You could see I've and clearly been like knock on wood.
I don't want like, yes, they are all uninjured at
the moment, but any think could happen in this game.
But it's like, what are they doing there? Are they?
Are they doing something so that all their players are
available when it counts.

Speaker 3 (16:06):
He's saying something else.

Speaker 4 (16:08):
Speaking of Fox, Ryan Fox has finished tied for fourteenth
on seven under part at the European Tours French Open.
It says here, nine strokes are drift. It's nine shots
a drift of when Michael cam.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
Yeah, this is so. Jerry's got this theory that he's
set up his game just basically to win because he's
got two years on the tour. Now he's like he's
locked in because of the win he headed the Canadian
Open and so now he's just like bugger. I'm trying
to win every single competition. If I come seventh, if
I come fifteenth, whatever, but I'm trying to win that sucker.

Speaker 3 (16:40):
Yeah, he's probably still half a milk.

Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah, I think as I think of you doing all right.
Coming up a little later on the show, we're going
to get back onto the paperwork. I found something that
I know is near and dear to your heart. G
laying around micro chipping us so we never have to
use passwords again.

Speaker 6 (16:54):
Yeah, Jerry Andman nine the hot Ikey Breakfast can lay in.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
A while ago, you told me a story about a
man who came into your house and shoppened your knives. Yeah,
he did, which I saw is a pretty severe cultural
faux pas.

Speaker 3 (17:07):
It was an attack on my family.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
It was it was. It was quite a clear attack
on your family. But I've stumbled upon something on Instagram
overnight there is of a similar vein. But there's a colt.
There's a cultural divide over in Greenland where they do
a practice that's similar to what happened to you, but
it's not frowned upon the have.

Speaker 9 (17:27):
Listen to this sharing wives with random visitors. In Greenland,
if a traveler arrives in a remote settlement, since there
are no hotels, he'll always stay with a local family.
He'll be fed, entertained, and treated with warm hospitality. At night,
the husband will quietly leave, either staying with a neighbor
or moving to another part of the house. This time,

(17:47):
the wife will do her best to seduce the guest
and invite him to spend the night together. By morning,
the husband acts as if nothing happened and the guest
is sent on his way. But if the wife gets pregnant,
it's considered it a reason for celebration. The purpose of
this tradition to prevent in breeding and ensure the birth
of healthy children.

Speaker 3 (18:06):
Is that why Trump wants to.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
Take it over in New Zealand. Do not do direct
flights to Greenland. I'll just look that up. The top
comment on the video is I've been doing this for
four months before they realized I'd have my tubs tied
it up and they kicked me out.

Speaker 3 (18:24):
The old pectomy me, it's you.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
You've had a similar suggestion it again?

Speaker 4 (18:28):
Oh my god, like so that the knife sharpening happened
with a person, a house sitter, who left a note
on the table along with some nice presents, saying, and
it was nice notes saying thankfully, I stay here, here's
some guests.

Speaker 3 (18:41):
But PS, I took the liberty.

Speaker 4 (18:43):
Of sharpening your knives firstly, an attack on me that
I personally I own blunt knives and that I can't
sharpen them myself and I can't protect my family.

Speaker 3 (18:53):
I took that. I took that as a direct, just
just leaning. I know that I've sharpened them for you,
and I'm a better, better cave in and you.

Speaker 4 (19:01):
Well, recently, very recently, I've had a gentleman another attack
on the Western front. Another gentleman's come over and mounted
my TV on the wall.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
What the hell did you ask him to?

Speaker 3 (19:14):
Did you?

Speaker 10 (19:15):
What?

Speaker 1 (19:17):
Did he just come in and see your TV sitting
on a camp and absolutely not? Yeah, that thing's going
on the wall.

Speaker 4 (19:22):
Yeah, you've gotta go. You got a house, you got
three kids, you've got to got everything for me. I'm
just gonna put this TV up. Different guy, Yeah, different,
different guy. And I'm under heavy attack. Did your heavy fire?
Did your family witness this?

Speaker 3 (19:35):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (19:36):
My wife did, she's the only one home. Yeah, what
why did this guy come around about your TV to
the wall? What was did you ask him to? Had
she been complaining about it for a while and she
said I want this? Yeah, we'd spread weird spread.

Speaker 4 (19:49):
This guy can't sharpen his knives or put a TV out.
It's open season, it's open whites. It end, man, What
happens next? For the Lane household are under constant attack.

Speaker 3 (19:58):
If someone comes in most my that's it.

Speaker 5 (20:00):
I'm done.

Speaker 1 (20:01):
So you're going to have to perform some sort of
some sort of feat of masculinity in front of your
family to get to get them back. And I don't
think it's taking a divid out of a croquet club,
but I think that's quite gonna do.

Speaker 3 (20:11):
What's it going to be a retaining build a retaining
to put a retaining even though I need one?

Speaker 8 (20:16):
Yeah, deck, Perhaps we've just had to get a guy
in because I wanted to run a data cable through
from one part of our house to the other part,
and my wife said, you are not going up in
the roof because I'm too worried that you'll fall through.
So we actually had to hire someone to come and
run a DA I may have just looked in the
roof and found out that I could do it myself,
but then also hired the guy because I didn't want
to upset my way.

Speaker 1 (20:36):
I never do work on your own house. You're just
a little drive you inside. I think most of my
trading mates don't do work on their own house to
get someone else, and so if it goes wrong, you
can blame them.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
So when do we go to Greenland?

Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yeah, well it's going to have to be a Greenland,
I think.

Speaker 3 (20:47):
Yeah, and don't boo accommodation.

Speaker 6 (20:50):
Jerry and Mini the hold ikey breakfast this morning.

Speaker 1 (20:53):
Just quickly before we get on the paperwork. We've got
a text through Glane. After you were talking about the
litany of men who have come through your house and
performed feats of masculinity in front of your family. Someone's
texture on three four A three. What's your address, Glane.
I'm coming around to whack up a retaining wall this week.
Get out of here, all right, it's time to get
on the paperwork. This is the segment of the show
where we flick through the newspaper so that you don't

(21:14):
have to and this week, Glane, Yeah, actually, this morning, brother,
I'm just trying to find the paper. I ripped the
corner off so I could find it. This is something
I know is near and dear to your heart. Facial
recognition tech for shops. So it's a company called raw.
It's Aurora without the A on the end. The number
plate spotting company at the heart of a Court of
appeal challenge at the moment, is now offering facial recognition

(21:37):
inside shops. So it stores the sign up to use it.
It's when you walk in, is going to create a
temporary biometric template of you. It'll scan your face, ye,
and it'll create a little things and person X here exists,
checks the database. Does this person line up with anyone
who's like shoplifted or anything like that here? And then
kick you out? If so? And I this being built

(22:00):
as like a massive loss of privacy and rights and whatever.
They say that when you leave the shop they're going
to delete all your info. I doubt that. I think
they're going to keep that on a hard drive somewhere.
But we've complained a nauseum on this show on the
agenda about passwords having to.

Speaker 4 (22:16):
Log Oh my god, anyone who works in an office
or any works in any sort of large corporate would
know that you have to change your password every two weeks.

Speaker 3 (22:24):
It has to be different.

Speaker 4 (22:26):
Now it's moved on. You need capitals, letters and a symbol. Yeah, exactly, and.

Speaker 5 (22:32):
At least twenty seven characters.

Speaker 11 (22:33):
Line, you haven't been the same as the one you
used last time, and then you got all your banking
or your or any sort of kind of utilities, all
that kind of carry on. I had to get a
new pass it the other day, real me, Loggan, I'm
one of those past my.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
I'm just gonna email use today that my password has
expired on that.

Speaker 4 (22:52):
And don't get me started on the TV when trying
to get back into Netflix, skysport now or whatever. Anyway, Look,
I'm a big fan of this this. Let's just lean
into the fact that, let's be honest, everyone knows eating it.
If they want to find out about you, they'll find
out about you in terms of anyone where, these cameras everywhere, whatever. Yeah,
so just put my Twitter chip, put a barcode on
my forehead. I don't care put a chip in my wrist.

(23:13):
I just if I have to do another password, yep,
I'm going to self harm. I'm going to put a
chip in myself.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, I'll make it easier for them. I'll get a
full barker, like a full we'll all across my face
that they can scan this across the throat or you
look at forehead wherever it's easiest for them, so that
I never have to put another pass with it. Just
last week, because you know, around the building here, they've
they've replaced the swipe card things. Yes, it's now an app. Yeah,
and Jerry of course doesn't use his work emails, so

(23:39):
last week he spent an entire show trying to log
into his work email on the desktop. Then it's like
two factor authentication with the phone, so that then you
can get into the desktop, then you get back into
your phone, then download the app to walk through a door.
You know what I mean. Shoplifting Jerry, yeah, one hundred percent.
I don't know how we've got to this point. We'll

(23:59):
circle around and ended up back at your life's way
too hard again. Other than that, she's basically just where
did the black fans go wrong? Which we're going to tackle.

Speaker 3 (24:08):
Oh, yes, after eight o'clock we want to a watch hunt,
are we.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna conduct a watch hunt.

Speaker 5 (24:14):
Do you have to use the word tackle man.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
I I've got a pitchfork out of the office, so
I'm gonna I'm gonna bring that in bunning Zigans at
about seven o'clock. If you're going to hit down there
and grab uff pitchfork, maybe a torch.

Speaker 3 (24:27):
Oh yeah, yeah, which is a good We're going.

Speaker 1 (24:29):
To be meeting just after eight o'clock and starting this watchhout,
Whose fault is it that the black man's got knocked out?

Speaker 4 (24:33):
You're like, oh, you're talking about a flaming torch, not
like a not like adult, not a dolphin. Oh, I mean,
feel free to express yourself. But no, yeah, flaming torch.

Speaker 12 (24:42):
Jerry and Mini, the hold, I Key Breakfast, Jerry and Midnight,
the hold I Key Breakfast.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
Someone takes her on three four eight three and said,
and I just say you're password on here. Then whenever
you forget it, just ask someone to text it it
and on three for it.

Speaker 7 (24:56):
Great.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
That's that's that's thinking.

Speaker 1 (24:58):
It's like a halo seem of sixty nine.

Speaker 8 (25:03):
Kevin Lake, Kevin el Kevin probably that act symbol instead
of one.

Speaker 1 (25:06):
Of that as well, So I'll ever forget it. Someone
could just text that back and again, although I need
that to log in to be able to read the text.
So oh yeah, true six to one, half a dozen
or the other. But radio coming up later on At
about seven forty, Joey Willer just joins us too. I
was going to say disgrace himself, but to discuss the
black class he's going to be playing. And Neil Wagner's

(25:28):
just been announced to be bowling at him at the
Bay Oval in January, so we want to talk to
him about that, plus a chronology of what happens when
Otago wins the rand Fury Shield. But I mix New
Zealand's youngest Craigs and Bruce's. We're going to start the
hunt this morning, see if we can find them. I reckon.
I don't know if there's too many under thirty.

Speaker 3 (25:48):
I reckon. I reckon. It's coming back.

Speaker 6 (25:50):
Jerry and Night the hot I keep breakfast.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
I was out doing the groceries the other day, Lane,
I'm quite observing of the grocery shop. I'll rate a
shopping trolley, yea. I take great pride and rating good
shopping trolleys. The ones at our local supermarket have just
feels like the oil. The wheels have just been oiled, right,
they're running excellent, they're running service. Oh the handling on
some of those, it's just immaculate and no road noise.

(26:14):
But the thing that I noticed, because the other thing
I do is as we're going back and forth through
the aisles, I take a look at who's at what chickout,
and I just catch on to like, oh, check out
three is a bit of a gas bagger. Don't go
to that way. Okay, she's going to chew your ear off. Yeah,
this one over here might be a trainee and they're
having a few issues. That one's going slow. I'm trying
to get out there as soon as possible.

Speaker 4 (26:33):
I'll tell you why I target the youngest one because
usually I have salted peanuts and I say it's salted peanuts,
but it's actually got cashe isn't it? And see that
ain't know the difference you're seeing. Yeah, it's a very
big price difference too. When you've you've labeled it salted peanuts.
It's a cag of pistachios. You go to the trainee,
go to the youngest dude. You can find the ex.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
He's like whatever, So this is sixty five inch TV. Yeah,
it's not those peanuts.

Speaker 7 (27:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
So then but I look at there's a couple that
have a look about them that's like you're just here
to you are trying to work your way up. You're
going to be very good at this. Like how quickly
can we get through? You can if the same people
seem to be stuck in that same aisle, And I'm
not going to that person. So we went to one
the other day and it was a young fellow would
have been very early twenties, maybe even late teens, and

(27:23):
he had the name tag on and his name was Craig. Yeah,
and I thought, that's got to be the youngest Craig
I've ever seen in my life. I got into the show,
I got into the car afterwards at the message and
we're driving home, and I was like, what's the youngest Craig?
You know, because there is one we grew up with
a Craig and he was a year older than us,

(27:44):
so thirty five, and I was like, I reckon, that's
the youngest Craig I know.

Speaker 3 (27:47):
Yeah, I played Craig with a Craig.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yeah, but how old would that Craig be? He'd be
forty six, Yeah, exactly, this is what I'm saying. And
so I was thinking, I don't think that there's a
single Craig out there that's under thirty.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
You're going to create a Craig's listing.

Speaker 1 (27:58):
I want to. I want to create a Craigslist a
list of because I feel like there's all those sort
of older names that have just fully completely fallen out
of the you know, out of the Yeah, Bruce, Yeah,
like we were saying before, I went to school with
the Bruce. But again, I'm thirty four now, so Bruce
will be thirty four as well. I don't know if
there's any Are there any Bruses that are under thirty

(28:18):
so Craigslist that are Bruce lest you've got kids, Your
kids are at school, do they oh, yeah, go? Do
they go to school with any Bruces or Cranks?

Speaker 4 (28:26):
No, they don't, but they are called Ralph and Frank,
so they get probably asked the same question. But now
mostly it mates like your Flynns and your Louis yeah,
and your Oscars, your Jacks.

Speaker 1 (28:37):
I do feel like at the moment, I'm noticing with
people I know who have kids, that some of the
older names are starting to come back around again. Yeah,
I think so, and I think it's because they fell out,
you know, fell out of favor for so long. Now
all of a sudden it's popular to give them those
unique names again, because like, but the problem, I think
the one of the biggest problem. And I haven't named
a kid. You two have named fifteen kids between the

(28:57):
two years. But well, if you go through the test,
don't you of, like, how's this kid going to be
bullied on the playground if I give it this name?

Speaker 4 (29:05):
Yeah, you do go through that filter and the filter
of people you knew in the past that you can't
possibly game your kid after. But also we we just
looked at the credits of TV shows. How when you
look at all the names coming, and that's how we
did it.

Speaker 1 (29:16):
That's a great idea because the other one is I
know that teachers have a problem naming their own kids
because they have so many.

Speaker 3 (29:24):
Punishers and they're like, well there's that one around that.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, youal some but yeah, so give us
a text three to four O three, or give us
a call eight hundred hodak if you think you might
be the youngest Craig or Bruce in the country, and
bear in mind you might be thirty eight and think
I'm too old for you. Might be the youngest. We'll
just keep taking them until we find the youngest. Craig

(29:49):
or Bruce listening to this show, there's a couple of
ticks coming through, some pretty young ones. It might be
starting to come back around again.

Speaker 6 (29:57):
Jerry and Mini the hold I Keep Breakfast.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
I was just talking about going to the supermarket the
other day and how I how I like to pick
what check out we're going to go to because I
want to get through as quickly as possible. Someone takes
through and said, best supermarket tip I've ever had was
from the episode of The Simpsons where a poop comes
to live with them and he goes to the supermarket
with Marge and advises her to use the line with
single mails in it, no chat and moves quickly.

Speaker 3 (30:22):
That's exactly right, no chit chat.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
Yeah, it's like, just scan this. I want to get
the hell out of here, because they're not foragers, you know,
we don't want to just want to get this and
then get out of here. And so the other day
when I was going through, I found the quickest one
identified this man who looked like he was moving very quickly,
and when I got to the front, no chat, no
chit chat. He was no nonsense. He had a no
nonsense name and it was Craig. And I thought, that
is the world's youngest Craig. Certainly the youngest Craig I've seen,

(30:47):
and I wanted to know who is the youngest Craig
out there. And we've had texts flooding in from all
corners of the country this morning. Craigs and also Bruces.
You mentioned there's been a lot of techs coming through,
throwing a bunch of other names in there as well.
I went to school with a Bruce from Korea. He'd
be about twenty four. Yeah, my son has a Bruce

(31:09):
at his day here. He's in the three to four
year old room. My cousin is Craig and he's thirteen.
He's also from Siawamutu, so not surprising. Come on, nothing.
There's a bunch of other names that are coming through,
but this one I think we might have found the
youngest one. There is a Bruce in my daughter's anti
natal class group. Bruce is now fifteen months old, same

(31:30):
as my daughter.

Speaker 3 (31:31):
You can't have.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
Some names rhythm. This is why I feel like packing
a name for a kid's the hardest thing because some
names just don't suit being a baby.

Speaker 4 (31:43):
Yeah, well, Frank, Frank and Ralph. It was a difficult
obstacle for us as well because both in both parents
said a parents my parents and my wife's parents blamed
each other for the names.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
Oh my god, God's terrible name must be the side
of the family.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
Both from neither you picked them from the credits from
n C I s or somethry. I work with children
in healthcare. There's a lot of names you'll be surprised
about under teams with names like Wallace, Reginald, Glenn, and
Frederick are the ones I can recall off the top
of my head for the last month and told on
great name.

Speaker 5 (32:12):
Yeahs right, Gus.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
Baby, here's my baby Glenn. Morning, lads, I've made in
Daneedin and him and his partner named their son Bruce.
He's only a two year old. What to start? Cheers
Fellas Denham from fat YOUNGA. I mean showing out to
the candy as a Bruce. Yeah Bruce yeah.

Speaker 3 (32:31):
R in his mouth to go.

Speaker 1 (32:33):
A lot of people text again about the list of
fading names. Can you add Gavin to the list of
fading names. Of course, Adolf has been less popular in
the last severty years or so.

Speaker 3 (32:42):
Brian, Yeah, Brian.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
I can't think of a young Brian. No, I don't
even think I went to school with the Brian. Someone
else on the someone said the texture there's three kids
they know, Renegade, Riot and riddth them. That's a different thing.
We're talking about old school names that have just sort
of fallen by the wayside, not the made up ones.
A lot of ticks in here are saying, who would
call a kid Bruce anyway? Probably the downfall of that name. Yeah,

(33:07):
and that's I think that is a big part of it.
But now there's people my age having kids who don't
really you know, that song was just a fraction before
their time. Someone else said, I wanted to name my
son Reginald. She accepted Ridgie. We just had a baby
and called him Gus. Old school you know, it's not
too bad. No, No, a few gusses.

Speaker 3 (33:26):
I don't. I'm going to say this for the first time.
My wife doesn't know.

Speaker 4 (33:29):
But the reason I called Frank Frank is because I
want when he goes to college, I want everyone to
chant Frank the tanks while he smashes a glass funnel.

Speaker 5 (33:40):
That makes sense, Now, how's this.

Speaker 1 (33:42):
For the hidachy hive mind firing up two consecutive ticks.
D granted that list and then immediately the next tis
My wife is a teacher. She has a nine year
old named Grant in her.

Speaker 3 (33:52):
Class's a great one.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
You'd have to take You've got to take it, Grant, seriously,
don't you, even at nine years old. You've got to
respect a You look him in the eye when you
shake his hand. Keep text covering through three four eight three?
Are you the youngest Craig, Are you the youngest Bruce?
Or what other names do we need to add to
that to the list of fading names? Jerry and Midnight,
the hold Ikey Breakfast, and we're going through some of

(34:15):
the youngest Craigs and Bruce's and a bunch of other
names have been spared up on the tex machine as well,
laying some of those fading names that we just don't
hear gone to.

Speaker 3 (34:24):
So, yeah, your Grantsy, Brian's.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
Nibble, someone's just texting and nivel. Another one, another report
of a twelve year old nephew Bruce when he was
little as mates called him goose or bruiser, bloody cute.

Speaker 3 (34:35):
Yeah see bruising, that's good, Yeah, that's nice.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
Warren or was it? Who's the youngest Warren? In My
father's name's Warren, he'd probably be the youngest one.

Speaker 7 (34:43):
I know.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
It's funny with what when people called Warren was when
it's actually spelt Where's when Sallie zi?

Speaker 1 (34:50):
Yeah? What his family calls him? Mark from dunas Here
met a baby Gertrude about a month ago. We'd be
about ten months old. Certainly the youngest Gertrude I've heard of.
Have a ten year old who's the only David in
his whole school.

Speaker 3 (35:01):
Colleen me Colleen.

Speaker 1 (35:03):
Not a lot of Colleen's going around, not a lot.
At thirty three, I am by father, youngest grant i've
ever met. I much prefer getting called the old g
banger or grunter. Been a while since I've heard of
a young Darryl. Hell of a name, old Daz. You'd
hate for that to slip through the cracks.

Speaker 3 (35:16):
Now that'll come back.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
Dare you think Darryl will get mack? I know a
four year old called Gordon Again, you've gotta look good
in the eyes if you're going to be shagging his hell.
I have a niece called Gladys. My brother is a
terrible human. My son goes to day here with the
Bruce who's four years old, and this one here. Anyone's
still calling their kids grotto? Is that it just exclusive

(35:39):
to the lame household? Bet'll never die? My four year
old is Stanley Reginald. I wanted Stanford Keith. Here there's
a two year old Keith and hawk's bad. My sister
two year old Keith Anthony. Anyone out there called Patricia,
there's a few. There's a couple of.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
Patricia Steve in the a couple in your mind.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
Dad's corgy is called oh and yeah the dogs doesn't
dogs in there?

Speaker 7 (36:09):
Hey?

Speaker 1 (36:09):
Coming up after the seven thirty sport headlines, we've got,
of course the Hodaky Breakfast Mastermind, which today is at
fifty dollars, and after eight o'clock we're going to be
conducting a witch hunt and to why we lost in
the women's Rugby World Coach, because it can't just be
that we're not as good at rugby as Canada. I
think we can all agree on that. I don't know

(36:29):
if you're a weird g loan. I know that you
are someone who has inflamed the South African community online before.
We've done that too. The last witch hunt we conducted
when South Africa beat us. That video has gone viral
in Johannesburg.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
Yeah, there's two sets of supporters you don't really want
to get in broiled, and that's Indian cricket supporters and
South African rugby supporters.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
South African rugby supporters are the Indian cricket supporters of rugby. Well,
let's hit their algorithms and they're all arguing in the comments.
So let's say if we can do the same to
Canada after eight o'clock, going to launch a witch hunt?
Why did we lose that? I blame Justin Trudeau? But
after the sport headlines coming up in just a few
moments time disgrace. Former Highlander Joe Wheeler joins the show
to talk about the Black Clash coming up and what

(37:11):
he's heard out of the Otago camp.

Speaker 6 (37:15):
Jerry in the Night. The Holarcky Breakfast Black.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
Clash is coming up on January seventeenth, De Bay Oval
Team Cricket going up against Team Rugby. One of the
players for Team Rugby joins us on the show this morning,
disgraced former Highlander Joey Wheeler. Good morning, Joey, how are you?

Speaker 7 (37:31):
Yeah? Good? Thanks jellous. Yeah, I can't complain.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
I just saw last week that Neil Wagner has been
announced to play in the Black Clash. Did you know
that when you signed up to play for Team Rugby?

Speaker 7 (37:43):
No, I didn't, And there should be a disclaimer. Neil
Wagner and and Tim Cuting what had joked in it?
These blokes have only just recently retired, Like we're just
hecking around. A lot of us haven't played since we're
about fifteen sixteen, and then they roll out to kiss
great like well passed off. You know, we're already struggling

(38:05):
enough as it is.

Speaker 4 (38:06):
Well, I think Joey, I think Timsey Outy will probably
go lightly on you. But Neil Wagner has only got
one speed. And I've had talked to a Tory about it,
and he said that he's a bit worried because he
just gets he gets a bit of red mister scenes
and he doesn't get who he's bowling to, whether it's
a former disgraced Islander or whether it's Sashington Dolcer.

Speaker 3 (38:24):
He's going to kind of break your reps.

Speaker 7 (38:27):
Mate, Like the thing is, you'll slick one over the
slips before and then the bloke will come in and
try to take you a little music all day. Yeah,
I did take them. As soon as I saw he
was playing, I say I'm out, and then I was
obviously announced the next day, like funk that.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
As the game plan. To just sit in behind Michael
Hussey and hope that he can get you through.

Speaker 7 (38:50):
Well, we need something because we haven't been able to
produce the goods and all over the last few years.
So yeah, hopefully the big Mike Hussey, mister Cricket can
do the trick for us. I mean, Universe Boss was
good last year team Rugby, which yeah just fell short
once again, so I think we do need a little
bit more strength with our betting. So hopefully, Yeah, the

(39:11):
mister cricket can bring that. The Tory dangerous dangerously, So
you got any tips around him?

Speaker 3 (39:16):
Lane the night before is the key for him.

Speaker 4 (39:20):
A mysterious back injury may may flare up if you
get him out on the on the maybe.

Speaker 7 (39:24):
On the well. I think like what happened last year
was the universe boss and you were there was obviously
coach Lee Hart. We actually ended up doing reversing the order,
setting Kier and read down because he was getting heapid
while all his Crusader teammates wanting to bat in the
top five. And Lee sort of took some real leadership

(39:45):
there and said, logos, it's controversial, but we're going to
flip the flip the order. And I think that was
after about six or seven to Kila shot memory.

Speaker 4 (39:55):
Hey, Joey, just some other news we need to discuss
with you, o Targo taking the shield off Canterbury and
driving its south down State Highway one.

Speaker 3 (40:05):
Can you give us from down that way?

Speaker 4 (40:07):
Can you just give us an insight to where that
shield would be right now, what it's up to, how
much DNA is on it? And wait, what we expect
the shield to be put through in the next five days.

Speaker 7 (40:19):
Yeah. Look, if there's one bloke from the coaching team
that I know quite well, played a lot of regular
with him, Mitchell Scott, and he messaged me a photo
of him sunglasses on shield lifted right above his head
at about I think it was about four am on
Saturday on Sunday morning, So I imagine she kicked on
long until yesterday. And then obviously the Oicago Spirit as

(40:42):
well fellas they won their championship final in the far
Apartment Cup yesterday, so it'll be all got begin last
night it would have been roaring. I just hope like
how it isn't in two pieces and there's no puppy
to be seen on it.

Speaker 3 (40:56):
The resin keeps the reason away from it.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
Joe, have you did you ever win the Shield and
you playing days?

Speaker 7 (41:03):
I don't bring it up. Yeah, only only managed to
get two cracks over my eighty odd games for Tasman.
We only had two challenges and both of them unfortunately
we went down to a very very stacked wellings Lay
Inside and then we also lost to Taranaki with some

(41:27):
bloke named Bowden Barrett just tor capers for us. So yeah, unfortunately, no, no,
no tastes of the Ramshilly Shield for me.

Speaker 1 (41:35):
I apologies to bring up bad memories. I didn't mean
to go well, I'm sure we'll talk to you before then.
But the Black Class tickets are on sale now. It's
on January seventeenth. The Bay Oval Totunk Jerry and.

Speaker 12 (41:50):
The Hodarchy Breakfast Jerry and Mni The Hodarchy Breakfast The.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
Hodarchy Breakfast Mastermind. Friday's Mastermind top of was Canada and Tim,
the photographer from Hamilton with an arthritic knee, took away
the prize. So today we're back to fifty dollars up
for grabs. And since Jeremy Wells is away this week,
today's Mastermind topic is Jeremy Wells. We've got Stephen on
the line. Good morning morning. You're operating a bit of

(42:18):
crane today.

Speaker 7 (42:20):
Yep, yep, it's not too weary.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
Yeah, I hope. I was going to say, yeah, want
to be a bigger sure for a crane. How high
up are you going?

Speaker 2 (42:29):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (42:29):
There's probably you know, eight to ten stories this morning.

Speaker 1 (42:35):
Jesus. Okay, does it get lonely up there? Stephen?

Speaker 7 (42:40):
Hey, we're choking ourselves.

Speaker 3 (42:42):
Have you ever have you ever done it nude? When
it's too hot? When it's too hot, it's stripped down again.

Speaker 7 (42:53):
There's quite few windows.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
Yeah, it's a tough angle as well from anyone watching
from the ground.

Speaker 3 (42:59):
There's a bit of a glasshouse.

Speaker 1 (43:00):
You're right, Stephen's blaming the fifth. Alright, mate, you've got
forty five seconds. Lane's gonna ask you five questions. You
get three, right, you win the prize. You can pass
at any time. We'll come back to those questions if
we have time. So if you're going to pass past
quickly and Lane, we've got the justice for Tony clause.
If we stuff it up, then he wins. Okay, are
you ready? Stefan?

Speaker 3 (43:17):
Okay? Stephan?

Speaker 4 (43:21):
On what radio station did Jeremy Wells read the news
in the nineteen nineties?

Speaker 7 (43:26):
Oh was it Debbie? No?

Speaker 4 (43:31):
Who is Jimmy Wells's assistant in Taskmaster New Zealand? Oh no,
how many children does Jeremy Wells officially have? What school
was Jeremy Wells expelled from after giving marijuana oil to
a recovering drug addict?

Speaker 6 (43:50):
Oh was it Grammar?

Speaker 4 (43:53):
What satirical TV show did Jeremy Wells host between two
thousand and three and two thousand and.

Speaker 7 (43:57):
Eight, African News Blues?

Speaker 3 (44:01):
On what radio station did Jeremy Wells read the news
in the nineteen nineties? Come on, Stephan, it was BFM.

Speaker 4 (44:09):
His assistant task Master in New Zealand's Paul Williams Wanganui
Collegiate was where he supplied marijuana oil to a recovering
drug addict and it was Eating Media Lunch, which was
the satirical TV show that Wells hosted. Yeah, sorry about that, Stefan,
bad luck mate, no worries. Good luck up that crane buddy.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
If you think you can do better than him, give
us a call tomorrow. We will be up to one
hundred dollars. Did he get one? He got one?

Speaker 7 (44:37):
One?

Speaker 1 (44:38):
Elder children just doesn't know as Jeremy Wells does. He
doesn't know as Jeremy Wells.

Speaker 6 (44:44):
Jerry and Mini the hold Ikey Breakfast.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
Then it happened over the weekend. Lane sadly an early
exit for our black Ferns from the Women's Rugby World
Cup in Bristol. Here's the call from Ricky Stolen away Canada.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
I've got it.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
Call them underdogs, call them dark horses, call them.

Speaker 10 (45:04):
Wrecky World Cup finalists. Canada are going to the decider.
They have ended New Zealand's reign and it is so richly,
richly deserved. Canada thirty four, New Zealand nineteen.

Speaker 4 (45:17):
They were the second seed Canada, so they're not our
not massive rank cats, got unexpected, not unexpected.

Speaker 1 (45:23):
But man, they've speared England from a fate worse than death.
Where they no longer have to play us and then humiliatingly,
and I don't know why tournaments do this. We now
have to have the third fourth playoff, No against France,
that's going to be this weekend. I hate that one.

Speaker 3 (45:36):
Just give us both, third, give us both, fourth, share
the medals.

Speaker 1 (45:38):
Don't make us play, particularly in such a brutal game,
like if it's basketball. I get that, like boxing at
the Olympics, they don't do through fourth playoff because it's
like there's too much at stay. Don't humiliate us. But
this morning, like we did for the All Blacks when
they lost to South Africa, we're conducting a witch hunt.

Speaker 3 (45:54):
We need escape Goat, we need to escape Goat.

Speaker 1 (45:58):
A pitchfork the pitch for I just keep this on
hand for any time one of our national teams loses,
because I think we can all agree that Canada are
not better than us at rugby. So there's got to
be something else going on here.

Speaker 4 (46:10):
Yeah, I blame Alanis Morrissette. Really, why Canadian singer.

Speaker 1 (46:14):
Hasn't that already?

Speaker 7 (46:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (46:16):
I blame Drake. You brought him up before. Are you
familiar with the Drake curse?

Speaker 7 (46:21):
No?

Speaker 1 (46:22):
Obviously there's the g Lane curse where if you travel
outside of your home region to support a New Zealand team,
they lose. I think is it four World Cup Grand
Finals we've been to. There were investigations into whether Glane
was in the crowd at Bristol.

Speaker 3 (46:35):
No, I was not there.

Speaker 1 (46:36):
I can confirm you weren't there by the fact that
you're sitting in front of me right now. But Drake,
who publicly gambles, he's sponsored by a bunch of gambling
companies over there in American Canada and he basically any
team he bits on, they immediately lose. He didn't bit
on the Canadian women's team. And that's a one shocking

(46:57):
lack of patriotism from Drake and two probably the reason
why they because he reversed the curse. If a curse
is that powerful, it can be lifted by not placing
the bit and that's exactly what it did. Can I
blame Poutine, Vladimir? No Poutine.

Speaker 3 (47:10):
Oh, it's the Canadian you know. It's got the French
fries with the cheese and the gravy and the gravy
all over it.

Speaker 1 (47:15):
Yeah, yeah, what do you reckon? Our girls going into
the poutin and slow them down perhaps, yep, yeah, just disgusting.
I blame Justin Trudeau. You're doing blackface. Yep. I blame
Justin Bieber and I can't I can't explain why, but
I just know that Justin Bieber's got something to do
with this. Yeah, an album came out just a couple
of months ago. Jerry really likes one of the songs
on there. Maybe the team over there like the song

(47:37):
as well, and that fired them up a little bit.

Speaker 4 (47:39):
You were blaming the media, Yeah, just just the media
in general, mainly mainly you, me and mainstream media. Yeah,
a lot of people blaming the all blacks as well.

Speaker 3 (47:49):
Here machine inside job. It's a hit job.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
Get your text through three four eight three or give
us a call eight hundred Hadarky. Who's to blame? Because
I think we can all agree it's not our team,
it's not our girls. We are to be in the
world at rugby, so something else must be afoot. So
the witch hunt continues. After deaf lepperd g you text
through three four A three one text is here his men.

(48:12):
I blame Jeremy Wells for punishing us about Canadian rock
speed last week.

Speaker 3 (48:17):
That was quick, No.

Speaker 12 (48:19):
Jerry and midnight they breakfast laying our beloved black funds
lost over the weekend.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
So we're conduct we're conducting a witch hunt. It can't
be our fault. Now someone needs to be to blame
for this, and so we're taking your texts on three
four eight three, I blame Justin Trudeau. I blame Justin Bieber.
I want to know what Shania Twain was doing down
there in the Central Lakes District. What was she doing?
Was she conducting some sort of inside research into the
black ferns and sending that through to their team?

Speaker 3 (48:46):
She is she Canadian and Morisset.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
That doesn't impress me much, right, but it is ironic.
I want to know on three four a through whose
fault is it? And the texts are flooding and thick
and fast. Clearly Nickelback's fault, that Canadian the North Korean government.

Speaker 3 (49:04):
That's a stretch.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
You don't think he's got something to do with this.

Speaker 3 (49:07):
I don't think he's a Rugby fan, no, but I'm
not thrown thrown out.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
He likes to get himself involved in geopolitics, and I
reckon this is a political play from okay, Pamela Anderson
and Baywatch.

Speaker 3 (49:18):
That's the stretch.

Speaker 1 (49:19):
Someone said on four cartman from South Park.

Speaker 3 (49:21):
Yep, he's Canadian.

Speaker 7 (49:22):
He is.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
He's not Canadian, but he does. Blame Canada. Yes, there's
the famous South Park song, Blame Canada. I'm blaming Canada.

Speaker 4 (49:40):
Also, Plamato juice was a Canadian. It's a Canadian beverage
that combines tomato juice and clam broth.

Speaker 3 (49:49):
It's used in a cocktail. So, yeah, tomato, what.

Speaker 1 (49:52):
Are they doing? Someone else is stick through Blame Jimmy
Kimmel for the black fans. Yep, what about this one?
We lost the rugby because our tackling was weak empathetic.
I think we can all agree on one thing, and
it wasn't that. It's got to be something else. Someone
else said, I blame the selectors. No, I don't think
it's that either. Someone else said our ex Prime minister

(50:15):
being there could be potentially.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
Isn't there just in the curse? Potentially?

Speaker 7 (50:18):
Was she there?

Speaker 10 (50:19):
Was she?

Speaker 1 (50:19):
I think she was in. She was in attendance, to
be honest. Was frustrated with the refereeing in the first half,
but unfortunately not enough. Yeah, the penalt account was ridiculous.
It was like six oo a half time.

Speaker 3 (50:29):
It was a donut. I didn't see one penalty given
to the Black fans.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
No, I think it was ridiculous. So there's some more blame.
Someone else said English Susie has poisoned the Black fans
to get an easier final classic Pom misdirection. I rate that.
I reckon there's some credits to that one. I reckon
it was an internal hit job. If the All Blacks
aren't winning, then no one can be winning. And this
one here on three four o three, that's sure to
inflame the South African rugby fans on social media. I

(50:55):
don't know why, but it's a South African's fault. Another
ticks here, it's Terrence and Phillip's fault. The other Canadians
in South Park keep the ticks coming through three four
eight three. I blame an rl roof, Ashley Kline.

Speaker 6 (51:12):
Jerry Andman Knight, the Hootarchy.

Speaker 1 (51:14):
Breakfast trying to find who's to blame for the Black
Ferns losing to Canada. I think we can all agree
that the country of Canada is at fault here. You
were blaming Donald Trump before for not taking over Canada. Yep,
he's let them get away with it for too long.
Someone said maple syrup for making us all fat.

Speaker 3 (51:31):
Yep, I'll take that.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
I blame David Warner. I don't know why, but it
just feels like something he'd orchestra.

Speaker 3 (51:36):
Yes, what thanks of Warner.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
What is David Warner up to at the moment?

Speaker 3 (51:41):
Commentator now but playing? He's got plenty of spear of
time on his hands.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (51:45):
Is he coming out for the T twenty series to commentate? Maybe?

Speaker 1 (51:48):
I hope so?

Speaker 3 (51:49):
Yeah, he I hope, I hope so, because he is
the dumbest man in life.

Speaker 5 (51:52):
Hasn't ground his here out?

Speaker 3 (51:54):
Oh yes he has got Oh he looks weird.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
Yeah, get to sit dreadlocks on you. Someone sticks through,
obviously there was the one came through. I blame Ashley Klein.
He's somehow involved in these things in some way. Someone
else texted on three four eight three. I blame Heath Yep.
A lot of blame getting slung around. Of course, we're
going to add them all to the list at the moment,
which includes Justin biebersh and I Twain, Justin Trudeau, Drake,

(52:16):
Brian Adams, the media, Jeremy Wells, Alanis Morrisset and Avil Levigne. Yeah,
that's a pretty good list. That's a pretty comprehensive list,
isn't it. Yeah, I think we've gotten to the bottom
of it. And obviously English Susie's going to be in
the mix as well. Apparently there's allegations that potentially we
were food poisoned like we were at the ninety five
World Cup.

Speaker 3 (52:35):
And also they were playing in Bristol cities.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
Yep, is there Bristol, some sort of Bristol connection there? Yeah,
you reckon some sort of pirate Perhaps is has undone
them there? Coming up after the eight thirty Sport headlines.
G Lane's got his school holiday tips.

Speaker 3 (52:52):
Yep, that's right. I am a father of three punishes.

Speaker 1 (52:56):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (52:56):
And you know three four times a year I get
put through the ringer and it sucks. No one tells
you about this an internatal class. No one tells that this.
When you have a child, you will get four weeks
leave throughout the year, and your children will get twelve
and work it out.

Speaker 12 (53:14):
Jerry and Mania The hold Ikey Breakfast. Jerry and Mania
the hold Ikey Breakfast.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
It's the school holidays day one, g Lane, and I
know there's a lot of listeners out there, probably on
the school run right now, who need a little bit
of help, advice, guidance on how to get through the
next two weeks. But luckily, Lane, you are a campaigner
from way back. You're quite a creative thinker out of
the box, and you've got a couple of tips on
how to survive the school holiday.

Speaker 7 (53:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (53:39):
Look, I mean this is even if you haven't got kids.
This is probably something you can do if you're a
bit bored to amuse yourself. Just basically leverage other people's
jobs and other people's work environments for your own benefit.

Speaker 3 (53:50):
And school holiday suckballs.

Speaker 4 (53:51):
We all know that it's either going to cost you
a lot of money or you have spend way too
much time with your kids and then the end of
it you do crying out and send them back to school.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
Who wants them? Kids get bored? They kind of want
to go back to school after about a week, don't they.

Speaker 4 (54:03):
I don't know why they have to have so many Yeah,
I don't know. Anyway, here's here's from my experience. This
is how I got through first one. I'm going to
say car yards, okay, and test driving cars. I spent
a good four days going around various car yards with
all of my kids test driving, and they could all
choose two cars they wanted to and I looked at
least I led them down the garden path and said

(54:24):
we're going to buy a new car. So I got
them pumped, and then they were like, I want this one. Okay,
we'll test drive that one. Go for a couple of hours,
you know, open her up on the motorway for a
little bit, returning yes, it's not bad. And then we
go to the next car yard and would test drive
the latest high on die van or whatever.

Speaker 1 (54:40):
I was going to say, what kind of cars, Like,
we're looking for a new family where and we've gone
for the latest, top of the range musty.

Speaker 7 (54:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (54:46):
No, it's got to be one that's got to fed
all kids in it, so they know that. So it's
going to have to be on the largest side.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
So we're not getting the lamb again.

Speaker 4 (54:51):
No, We've we did a few byds, few a few
electric cars, which was quite popular. Now there's a couple
of little hurdles here. They managed to just for four
days chest driving cars and the kids loved it. You know,
there's a few incidents with food or whatever whatnot, And
there I took my way out of that. However, you've
got to deal with a couple of things, and that
is the relentless phone calls from the car yard after that,

(55:15):
and yeah, so they've got to lead, so they'll call
you and you have to give over all your details
because when you chest drove the car, you've got to give.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
A piece of you.

Speaker 4 (55:22):
Anyway, the easy way out of that is just say
the missus hates the car and then you move on.
And also the kids asking why when we got a
new car, and you've just got to You've got to
deal with that as it comes up.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
Did what was that whole week about when we were
driving slash cars?

Speaker 3 (55:35):
Whack am old? You just gotta knock them on the
head as they come up. So there's that.

Speaker 4 (55:38):
That's three or four days. Okay, another one another for
you as well, oh so good. And then another another
good one is flash golf courses. So for example, in Auckland,
especially up in kind of the Northland area, there's quite
a lot of really nice golf courses.

Speaker 3 (55:52):
With very very nice putting greens.

Speaker 4 (55:54):
Yes, Tata is a good example, but in the mount
you've got one there at the Mount golf course I've
just built. It doesn't cost you anything to go on
the practice green and go into the clubhouse, grab yourself
a couple of coke.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
Zeros and a bowl of chips. I have myself a beer.

Speaker 4 (56:08):
Three hours later, the kids are still playing on the
golf course on the putting green. They supply the putters
and the balls, and all you have to do is
maybe just throw a bit of money at them, say like,
I'll give you a twenty bucks if you manage to
put it from one end of the green to the other,
twenty bucks hold in one and they are done for
three or four hours. You have a beer and eat chips,
go out for a bit of a putt if you
want as well. Yeah, so that's another couple of days.

Speaker 1 (56:30):
Plus you're you're taking on an hour each way, and
you're in the road the roady, Yeah, in the roady
in the car that you're test driving.

Speaker 3 (56:37):
Yes, that's right, all the way, all the way out
to Munga Fight.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
He's driving a Lamborghini inventedor out to the local golf club.

Speaker 4 (56:44):
And my last one is it's very much a day
trip and it can be used at certain kind of outlets.
Costco is a good one. There's only one Costo in
New Zealand, but that's a good one. It's a good
day trip, but you know they're stopping you going to
the likes of the Bunnings, Yes and making a day
of it. Deequar Buttings have got killed. Cafe in there
a little playground so you can do that. But Costco

(57:04):
is one of the greats because of the amount of
testing and food samples they have there, so and you
can instead of pep. A lot of people are worried
about losing their kids when they go to busy places.
I try and lose my kids, so I try and
lose myself from them, and then they spend two hours
trying to find me, and then that's three or four
hours there as well.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
Costco is a good one because at the moment, because
it's a massive American shop one, you don't know what's
going to be in there. It's got everything, and at
the moment, because it's American, they've got giant Halloween decorations
in there. A kid would love that giant skull that's
got digital eyes that move around, and were wolves and
all sorts.

Speaker 4 (57:38):
It's got everything, So here you go, so test rit
Some cards utilize flash golf courses under the guise of
you actually playing there. You've got to wear something you
can't turn up in jendles and whatever. You've got to
pretend like you're doing something. Yeah, and then the full
field trip to a Bunnings or.

Speaker 3 (57:54):
To a Costco situation.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
But I want to go and do these things.

Speaker 3 (57:56):
That's an entire week. Yes, what I say. You don't
have kids to do this, but you can just bring
them along for the ride, yeah.

Speaker 6 (58:03):
Jerry and the night the hold ikey breakfast.

Speaker 1 (58:06):
Just want to mop up a couple of texts that
came through earlier on this hour lane when you were
talking through your strategies and tactics to get your kids
through the school holidays. We had a couple of late
texters come through on three four eight three. Of course
your ideas, go out and test drive cars, yep, all week.
Give the kids a choice under the guys that you're
about to buy one. Yep. You've got to fend off

(58:27):
the punishing sales calls that will come in after that,
but that's a small price to pay. Go to the
local golf course, just get a bowl of chips and
a diet coke.

Speaker 4 (58:33):
And hit a couple of golf balls around yep on
the pudding green and just lay your challenges. Money's always
a good incentive for and what was the other one?
The other one's day trips to Costco, day trips to
Bunning's your day trips to any sort of hardware super
large supermarket, ideally serving some sort of samples as well,
so you can just.

Speaker 1 (58:50):
Feed the kids as well and try and lose them.

Speaker 4 (58:52):
Try and lose them just I know it will feel
unnatural because naturally you want to try and keep your
kids close.

Speaker 3 (58:58):
But trust me, lose them and then let them try
and find you.

Speaker 8 (59:01):
Have you ever had that thing where they go over
the PA system they're like, ah, we've got a lost
child here, because that would be a real fun part
of the game, well eventually finding them.

Speaker 3 (59:10):
Yeah, it's true. They don't do that so much anymore,
do they. I haven't hear them.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
No, I haven't heard one of those announcements in because
you can just text them. Yeah. They probably put the
end of that a couple of text on three four
eight three just chuck them on The Halo three campaign
from two thousand and seven, that we take them days
to finish. Yeah, I don't mind that you actually got
a driving simulator, lad Station driving similar.

Speaker 4 (59:32):
Yeah, and because the great thing with the driving simulator
is that you've got a clock certain things before you
can unlock other things.

Speaker 3 (59:38):
So they become obsessed and they're stuck there. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (59:41):
I mean, look, it wasn't really good for their social
skills for the couple of weeks after they were locked
in the garage on the simulator.

Speaker 3 (59:46):
That took a while to assimilate back into society, but it.

Speaker 1 (59:48):
Was worth it. Oh but the driving skills they picked
up will served them long into their life.

Speaker 3 (59:52):
I doubt it. I'll be driving. I'll be driving like
cars being hijacked.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Someone else texts are on three four eight three and
so Christian camp cheap and a whole week away. My
child may burst into flames. Though she refused to take
a Bible as noted on the packing list. I don't
mind that.

Speaker 3 (01:00:05):
Wow, someone else suggesting the Tom Phillip's Adventure School. I'm
not going to do that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
I shouldn't put a bit of distance between that and
this Lincoln Park crawling. That will do us for today.

Speaker 3 (01:00:14):
They made on us three hours, almost made it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
Join us, Lane, I'll be back again tomorrow if he's
not canceled by then. Thanks very much for joining us
this morning, Lane.

Speaker 3 (01:00:23):
Now is tomorrow the hoard ache.

Speaker 6 (01:00:25):
You breakfast thanks to Bunnings Tree. Load up on landscaping
with Bunning's Tree