October 8, 2024 • 29 mins
Today on The Podcast, Jerry, Mashie and G Lane discuss some of their favourite drinking games...
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
All right, fellas, and we're recording. It's Wednesday, the ninth
of October twenty twenty four.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome a long Do you guys find it tough now
doing the podcast because for the longest time we just
kind of start up recording and then Meddi would just
go somewhere and then we'll be like, Okay, that's where
we're going today. But now it's actually up to us.
We've got to figure out what we have to talk
about for the next kind of twenty five to thirty minutes.
So you boys got anything if you brought anything to
the table today.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Julane, Well, there's a few spu stories I couldn't say
on here, or should we start? We can go there
because I mean I did poos what you poos to spews?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Poos to spews basically in a day. So what's the
next body flow? The only one that we've got left
is the number yeah, number three juice.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Okay, well, luckily I'm not here tomorrow. Thankful save that
for Monday. That number three bags stories that'll have to
be for the podcast only.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Yeah, I don't think they'd be safe on here.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Well, the kids are on holiday at the moment, nobody's
driving their kids to school, so probably not so worried
about that the kids in the car. Then again, how
many people are listening with kids in the car?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I mean I say that as well as if you're
listening to herd Ache in the car with the kids,
you should expect there should be no surprises, really, because
if you want full missionary, go listen to the hits
or go listen to the goes in the coast. If
you want some missionary, just bland shit. But if you
want your kids to learn about what a number three
(01:32):
and number two is, you want your kids to learn
best viewing techniques. If you want to teach your kids
how not to attach pornography to your bluetooth while whacking
off from the toilet, then listen to herd Ache. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
The only issue is that they will hear a couple
of things and then they'll ask questions. This is always
the thing if I think as a parent, if you
knew that what the kids were going to hear was
going to be explained scientifically afterwards, yes, then you'd be
like for me, I'd welcome all commers, be like, oh whatever,
I'm happy to sit through that with the kids, it's fine.
(02:04):
The issue comes where you hear something and then the
kids say, so what is that?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
What's a pelican? And then you go.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
What's the pelican? He said, Well, that's where a person
spews into another person's mouth and you sort of pass
it around that way.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
What is space docking? Dad?
Speaker 1 (02:21):
And you're like, well, that's where you dock a force
gun and a penis together and to give that sort
of frontways like you like a space station.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Why do people do that? Dad? I got that last night. Actually,
I got that. Went over to the neighbors for a
spa and the sons at University in christ Church, and
he'd seen a photo to his parents of him naked
up a tree and.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
On purpose or by mistake, on purpose, all.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Of his friends up a tree naked and.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Were they doing the possum chilling?
Speaker 3 (02:51):
That's exactly what I said. I said, were they playing possum?
And then Ralph, my eldest, goes, what's possum? And I went, well, possums.
When you climb a tree with box of beer. Everyone
climbs a tree with a box of beer and the
last person to fall out of the tree wins. And
he goes, why do you fall out. So if you
need to go for a purse or a bit too drunk,
you fall out of the tree and he goes, did
you play it? I mean, of course I did. He goes,
(03:13):
did you win? I said, of course I did.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Of course I did so.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
And then he started getting into the details around how
many beers was it. I was like, it's like a
box bear, so twelve beers? Because how strong were the beers?
Like into the details, Yeah, so I see like mid
strength and were talking kind of four percent wounders. They
were like Twoey's and kind of that kind of carry
on when I was at university. So not strong beers, Ralph,
not strongly. You're not not your rainbow beers or your
you know, your knife parties. The otherwise I would have
(03:39):
fallen head first out by wanting in the first to
fall out. Yeah, and he's like.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Okay, I can see him just thinking, okay, yeah, you're
going to have an interesting few years there.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
What's been the approach for you guys in terms of
parenting in around alcohol. Have you guys kind of exposed
them to alcohol early doors to hope that maybe when
they come to a time they start going out and drinking,
that they're not hiding that type of thing from you,
and all that kind of.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Stuff for so funny because you think that when you
as a reasonably I would describe myself as a reasonably
liberal person, and as a reasonably liberal person who's done
some things in their life, I always assume that when
it got to that point with my kids, I'd be like,
you know whatever. But oddly enough, I I in terms
(04:25):
of my fourteen year old's she's going to be fifteen soon. Yeah,
I've gone with a kind of middle of the pack approach,
which is like, I don't because you don't want to
be forcing your kids, and you don't want to feel
like you're forcing them into drinking. I mean, you've got
to be careful there because you don't want them getting drunk,
because it's you don't want your kids being drunk because
(04:46):
you know that it's doing them damaged, and you just
don't want to damage your kids. So it's quite weird.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
I we allow, we allow.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
And I put that in adverted commas because what actually
what happens compared to what is allowed is like everything
completely different. But Mishka is allowed to have four drinks,
which sounds like quite a lot. But she's but I
think about myself and I think about what I did
at that age, and I was drinking at thirteen, right,
(05:16):
So the end of third form I started drinking. So
end of year nine me and my friends were definitely
on the bows at that stage and fourth form not
all the time.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
But wherever we could, yes, any any opportunity. Yeah, and
fourth form.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
So year ten I tried pot yack and I was
definitely on the bows for form one. So how are
you doing these things?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Were you doing?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Were you like going to parties and stuff like that
at that time or was it more of just a
secret kind of round the back of the school. She'd type,
he's a bottle of tequila rostole from my dad's look
at keeping it.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
There was a bit of that, but there was It
was you'd go around to people's houses whose parents had
gone away, so it was like whose parents had gone away,
Who's going away for the weekend, And then everyone would
say that they were staying the night somewhere, and then
we'd end up staying at this place or you or
sneak out all sorts of crap, you know, all the
same tricks that the kids are still oddly enough operating
(06:15):
today and the kids don't realize that you have done
the same thing. So it's quite a weird thing as
a parent because you you want to you don't want
to stop them from drinking, because in my experience, I'm
looking at some of the parents who are trying to
run a line like you're not allowed to drink, you're
too young, you're too young, and all those people's parents,
all those people's kids are getting really really rap faced
and expelling and stuff. So I don't know, it's quite
(06:37):
a hard line.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
And but you don't.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Want to be encouraging it.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
But you don't want to be discouraging it. It's not
you're not.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
You kind of got to supervise it slightly.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
You want them to be pest fit, you know, so
they go to the party and they're not, they're not
the story.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yeah, oh absolutely, So I'm kind of running a line
with most curious. So you don't want to be at
the front of the pack, but you probably don't want
to be at the back of the pack. You just
want to be in the middle of the pack where
everyone else is. That's and also try and say to it,
you've got to learn your limits. Don't drink too quickly,
because what actually happens is so we give her four
drinks and then all of a sudden, someone's found some
(07:12):
extra ones from somewhere else. I found some stashed up
the driveway and a bin. I was like, one of
these doing here. She's like, oh, someone must have come
off the road and put them now. I was like sure,
I said, oh, okay, but you know, they'll find extra
drinks because that falls not quite enough because they're wanting
to get you know, but I'm trying you to just
(07:33):
make sure you drink slowly, have some food before you
go out, don't have a drink on an empty stomach,
take your time because they actually the best feeling that
you get from alcohol is when you eat food and
you drink slowly. And that's what it's meant to be.
It's not meant to hit you really really fast, because
what that is is your body not processing the alcohol.
Is drunkenness is an inability for your body to process
(07:55):
the alcohol in time. That's all drunkenness is. Right, So
if you drink ready really slowly, if you drink, drink
a tiny little sip for you know, twenty four hours
and you's had to sip every ten minutes. You you
can drink for days. You can just keep going, going, going,
and don't even get drunk. But it's the overwhelming. It's
the it's overwhelming your body with the poison that can't
(08:17):
process it.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Best drinking game.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
For me, I always liked what was a good drinking game.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
There's Hermit. There's a Hermit. I'm thinking all the ones
I did when I was flatting. There's Hermit, which is
basically you get a twenty four beers or twelve beers,
go to your room, lock yourself in your room, and
everyone in the flat locks themselves in the room by
themselves and finishes the drinks and then comes out into
the lounge at the same time.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Now, when you see best drinking game, that's not really
a drinking game. That's more sort of just heavy alcoholism.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
With a meal. With a meal we take KFC and
with us as well, obviously we're drinking responsibly. This is
back in university days.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Yeah, and my unie days.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
We used to start every night with the five and fifteen,
which is just kind of gets gets the wheels rolling,
which you do the first vessel in five and then
you do the second vessel in four and it just
gets you know, five drinks and you in fifteen minutes,
and that gets things kind of moving.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
That's good. High.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Lower for me is the is the game which really
has lasted my lifetime, which I've never come across a
game which is more effective at destroying every single person
who plays it, but just in different times. So you
think at first that the cards are going your way. Yes,
but in this basic game, you know, where you get
(09:29):
a deck of cards, shove them up, and then you
put a card down and say, if it's a six,
you've got to You've got to before you put the
next card down and you pick it, you've got to
say whether it's going to be high or other than six.
And you think that sometimes the cards are going away
because you've got I've got rolls around the gray area.
You know, if it's an eight and the card before
and I've got a call on an eight and the
(09:49):
card before was a six, I keep going up, so
I'll go higher in that situation, whereas if I'm coming
down from a jack to an eight, I'll go lower.
So through an eight and a nine, through the gray
area blackjack.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
It's the area of uncertainty, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah, but I've never seen anybody ever get out of
that game. If you play it for an hour without
being completely destroyed, even through the gray, the cards will
turn on you eventually.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
We are. We had a game called heaps, and what
you do is usually revolved around a super rugby game
or a rugby league game. Guy Johnston actually was a
big fan of heaps when he was living with us,
and we would pick a player and every time that
player touched the ball. You've got to drink heaps.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
How much is heaps?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
It's up to you. It's your determines what your capacity is.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
That's quite an adult sort of a thing.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
It's not draconian, no, So it's like, but if you're
a big drinker, you just finish, you can and drink heaps.
But then stupidly people would pick like the half back.
People are just sick. You don't want to do that.
I would. I would pack a prop. Yeah. There was
a time where we you just put them in and
we drew them out after that because people were staying
(11:03):
to be a bit more technical around the game of heaps. Yeah,
and also, if you've got the halfback, your definition of
heaps could just be a sick because you're basically halfback's
touching it.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, it does end up being heaps over a five
minute period. Yeah, have you guys ever played winning bingo?
So when you have a table and then you write
down a whole lot of word like love, beautiful, the
names of the bride and the groom, and then every
time and then you you dip them into a hat
and then you pick it out, and then every time any
(11:33):
of those words are mentioned in the speech, you have
to drink.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Yeah, I've ruined many. I do it also at prize giving,
So I did it famously. The last time I ever
got invited to the Hellbergs, I did this at the table.
And because Helbergs are fucking boring, and I was at
the table invited by A and Z, let's just say
I never.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Got invited back and I strike number ten.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
So I was at the table and at the hell
Bergs we had a couple of Paralympic athletes as well,
and they were fucking up for it hard. So I
was like, right, guys, I sat at the table. Heyay, guys,
these are fucking boring. Let's make this interesting. We all
know it's going to be boring. Let's make it interesting.
I'm going to write down ten names, ten ten words, honored, privileged,
(12:22):
hard work, all the things, all the speeches, and it
concludes the videos when the video montages come as well
handed them all out. Anyway, we started getting really hammered,
to the point where someone would say I'm honored, and
our table would go, oh, this.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Is the same thing as winning Bengo. The issue is
that all of a sudden they go, I just love
my beautiful wife and you, and they're like, what the
hell is going on?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Anyway, it ended with me spelly a glass of red
wine all over the sponsorship manager of van Zi and
she said, Mike, that's enough for you. You can leave now.
Oh wow, nice you to leave.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
So right, Yeah, that wasn't the time that you left
and then you passed out in the foyer.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
That's that was the Cricket Awards.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Okay, well you can come back in just a moment
and tell us about that. Then we're back.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Look the Cricket Awards that I mean, that's not my
story to tell. I think Laura McGoldrick, as she was
the one that peeled me out of the cricketing alley
that they built this kind of well, it was the
Cricket Awards and it was at the Langham I think,
and there was a hallway and they dressed it all up,
that cricketing alley with signs for different stadiums and cricket
gear and trees and stuff, and it was like a
(13:34):
little experience he walked through before you got to the
to the ballroom. And I blame I blame Doug Bracewell.
I do you know why he won Bowler of the
Year that year Test Bowler of the Year when he
I think he won us that game in Hobart, yep.
And they interviewed him on stage. Eric Eric Young interviewed
him for forty minutes.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Oh my god, Eric Young knows he knows how to
create a wake. Oh my god, you've turned up to
someone's wake.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
I reckon. I drank a bottle and a half of
wine during that because it was so boring, and Doug
blessed Doug. He's a man a few words and he's
not going to give a great but Eric tried to
get everything out of him. So I blame that because
that was that was where I reached the tipping point.
And then I went and kicked heath Mills Players Association
CEO and the balls while he was talking to the
president of New Zealand Cricket.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Any reason why he kicked him on the balls, I
just saw.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Him the hes open exposed. Then well, that same night
Victory ended up urinating in the cloak cupboard, so there
was there was other villains around that night, including Tim Southy.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Well for Tory claims of his story of that night,
he claims that I remember I got a text the
next day and it just said Lain was a disgrace.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
He was, That is him, that's thro throwing Mark just
Laane was a disgrace. He thought he confused the cloak
cupbod where everyone's coats were with the urinal. Then he
ended up in there winging all over everyone's coats. So
he can't really talk on that front. But I was
a more public disgrace because I I had to leave.
(15:01):
I was wasted, but I couldn't quite and I think
James ware who was the commercial manager of New Zealand Cricket,
spotted that I was in a in a bit of
a state when he saw me halfway out one of
the signs and Crickets way and the display as it
fell over and I crushed it, and I think Laura
McGoldrick came along. She kind of helped out and see
Jesus Lane, get the fuck out of here. And I
was like, and I was put into a taxi. I
(15:25):
was put into a taxi by James Ware and this
only Cricket paid for the taxi as well, because I like,
get this guy the fuck out of here. So yeah,
I haven't got a great track record. So that's why
the ACC we're actually doing our own sports awards at
the start of next year, the night before the Hallberg's,
We're doing the Chaney's the Snack of Chaney Sports Awards
(15:48):
with the ACC. So we're doing our own sports awards
for all the disgraced people who can no longer attend
sports awards. We've got one. Is it virtual or is
it actually? How We're going to have it and at
iHeart Lounge.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Are we sure we want to do that?
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Yeah? Fuck you?
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Are you sure? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Because we're gonna The categories are better though, because they're
like biggest sports blow out, biggest commentary curse, biggest sporting
hot take, best haircut, best mustache, you know, stuff that
people really care about in sports awards. So the Snacker
Changy it's gonna be in February. We're doing yeah, but
we're doing nominations pre Christmas though. So it's one of
(16:25):
these things where I've been I'm not welcome in any
awards anymore.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
So I've bilt my own smart Smart. That's That's kind
of the story of your life, really, isn't it. You're
not welcome in certain places.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Last night I had my partner Lauren around staying the night,
and she obviously works for you, Julane, in the commercial department,
and she's told a very different side of that story.
And and look, I know it's going to break you
out to find out that there's someone a little bit
less passionate about the Snacker changing sports awards.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
She came home last night, Jerry, She came home last night.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
J says.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
You never gets what ju Lane what's to do next year.
You'll never gets what.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
It's a bit of work to work for other people.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Off and you'll never get what Gelane wants to do
next year. He was the host of his own Sports
Awards for all the people that have been kicked out
of previous sports awards, and he wants to put it
in the foyer of our corporate building here in Auckland, CBD.
And she's so right now, ge Lane, I'm glad you're
feeling positive, but look, I don't know if it's going
to give you.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Oh. Look, there's a bit of work for people, to
be honest, there's a little bit of work to be
done behind the scenes. But Lee Harts, he's behind it.
He's going to help co host it. Snakes.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
That doesn't make it any list.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
I'm talking in front of house. Yeah, I'm back your house.
That can work itself out. The careategrees most important, but
is like the categories. We've got to get the categories
right and the voting right because it's the people's people's
choice pre Christmas.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Could we do like a plus like under eighty five's awards,
So you've got you got there, So everyone that's under
eighty five kilograms is.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Just any award but for under eighty five. But you've
got an under eighty five subsection of every award. That's
quite good.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Okay, so under eighty five's you know, so this award
is were that we're going to celebrate.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I don't know what's an award that you think.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
We're doing the biggest sporting blowout in terms of off
feel blowout.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
It's fantastic we do under ready five kg underady five.
That that there's a weight restriction. Yeah, that does make
a lot of sense.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
What opens it up, doesn't it? It makes it fair?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Yeah, it does.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
And then I don't know, like Smittye for example, you know,
Notorius for a massive blow out on the on the w.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, he can. He's in the open section. That's he's
definitely in the open section. It's not the weight restricted many.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Under eady fives though, I mean it's going to be
hard to do, Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
I mean mainly women won't be ready five.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Can you think of any sporting blow outs that have
happened on the female side of things lately?
Speaker 1 (18:34):
When we're talking blowout? What does blood? Blood?
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Off field? Off field indiscretion? You know when whitewash investigations
come in and try and sweep it under the carpet.
N r L n r L is an absolute field
for it.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Well, you would have thought that surely the was the
Ramphilly shield.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Was that this yeral last year last year with the
last year the reason, Yeah, the reason on it what's
been a big sporting blow out. I can't even think
n r L n r L have provided quite a few.
We've got that's where the categories. We are going to
go out with the categories for people to vote on that.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
And it's going to be fun. Now I'll take about
what I said earlier.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Lash. Yeah, No, it's a it's a sports awards that
what they should be. There's a mixture of success and
just lunacy as well. And I think that the Hellbergs
is missing a little bit. They need to Pello the
media a little bit more in it. It's too earnest.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Can we get some money from big tobacco because oh yeah,
that's the other thing that sports awards lack nowadays. Yeah,
big fags nothing, nothing from Rothman's, nothing from B and H.
Surely they've got some money sloshing around.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Yeah, that's good. That's a good idea actually, because they
can't spend it on marketing, but they can spend it
on events.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
It's just a lot of money in Big fag, huge.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Money in Big Fag particularly they've moved into vapes. That's why.
And I'll tell you what. We've been to Europe. Saw
two people vaping. I saw two people vapes in Europe.
Now everyone's on the analogs now they on the heat is.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Hard, so that's still right, okay fuck yeah, yeah, Well
they're not quite as harsh in terms of their anti
smoking stuff. So as a result, I mean, yeah, as
a result, everybody's still on the on the proper darts.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Yeah. So they spend all their money. I did a
bit of work for a big fag in London for
BAT in London, and they spend all their money on
sales incentives. And so if you're if you're you're selling
fags into dairies or supermarkets or whatever, if you're a
good salesperson, they'll reward you with the most amazing conference
(20:23):
you'll ever see. Like you go away and no expense,
spear because all that marketing spend gets spent on incentives
for sales, for direct sales, because they can't spend it
on that. So maybe we should just maybe they can
just do the event and we can just have a
little kind of fag dispenser in the corner.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
That's what they want, I mean, could they run it?
I reckon as well if I was involved in big
fag marketing. Yeah, I'd be running anti fag the whole time.
I'd be I'd be running anti fag marketing as my marketing. Okay,
so you just constantly you actually, you can spend the
money by saying that this is this is don't vape. Yeah,
(21:01):
this is a non vape blah blah blah blah. But
it's just saying the word vape all the time.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Yeah. And then and as a kid, you'd be like, well,
they're saying don't do it. One hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I think if you're saying people don't do it, I
think more and more people will totally.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
That's what I do.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I just completely focus on the opposite because what do
you got to lose. You're not going to drive people
away from it, It's impossible. Yeah, I think the vaping
part of it. I see that Philip Morris is mess
of the puge on the vapor.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Yeah, well they all are. They all are, but they
just start up little you don't know they're part of them.
Most of the big vapes around our own by big fag.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
What percentage of big.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
V big v are owned by big fag big fag.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Yeah, percentage of a peck of darts ends up going
back to Big Fag, like, how much of that is taxing?
Is the market with the prices increasing, is Big Fag
now earning more money?
Speaker 3 (21:54):
No, the money is going to in Texas, Texas. And
the justification of that is the healthcare requirements of someone
who's a lifetime fagure who requires more healthcare.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, yeah, well that makes sense. Yeah, tobacco exercised duties sorry,
tobacco excise dudies u ngs to currently account for seventy
percent of the retail price of most cigarettes.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Seventy percent of forty bucks?
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Is that right, that's yeah, I'd go another ten on
top of that. These days, Dell is nodding at me
out fifty bucks.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Now, you can't bump, you can't pack a twenties, you
can't bumm a fag. You can't bumm a fag. These
days it's like three bucks.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Because if you've bomb a fag and then you throw
it on the pavement and then yeah, you've got half
a fag left there.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Yeah you're you're you've just pretty much put five bucks
on the grid. Yeah, oh man, roll is cheaper.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Roll yeah yeah, yeah, rollings are cheaper.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
But mose yes, so.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Much, headman. So much Edman.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
What's the most expensive place to buy what's the country
the most expensive cigarettes in the world? Yiss, Singapore, No,
New Zealand, Australia, the New Zealand second, and then Norway, Iceland,
Canada cheap, Singapore, France really finance, Switzerland cheapest. Who's the
(23:12):
cheapest fag cheapest?
Speaker 3 (23:13):
So it'll be like maybe China.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I'm I reckon it's going to be somewhere in like
Africa a recon deapest. Where do they grow with the
tobacco everywhere?
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Certain climates, certain climates lead themselves to big.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Fag doesn't need warmth. Yep, cigarette priceless. It was the
cheapest cigarettes, cheapest country.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
I think it's it's it's asral Africa must be looking
at I reckon, isn't illegal importan Zimbabwe?
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Ah?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
What two dollars thirty? Ye?
Speaker 1 (23:55):
And then for a local breeders about Kazakhstan two dollars
forty for a pack? Yeah, Vietnam three bucks in Vietnam?
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Are they just living on the theory that like, if
you decide to keep smoking the n.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
S's your own fault on you just whatever? Yeah, yeah,
I suppose they don't. Oh wow, this This is actually
bloody interesting this line. I mean, I remember when I
was in libbya that cigarettes was so cheap. Well, I've
got it's just some weird age verification thing.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Zimbabwe.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah, okay, so hold on Zimbabwe, well o point six
US dollars, So that's way cheaper is that per cigarette?
It's the leading producer of tobacco in Africa.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Oh okay, so they've got the supply.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Fourth global production in Zimbabwe.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Yep, I shouldn't even knew that.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
There you go. Kazakhstan is a dollar fifteen US cross
sic and State revealed tobacco smoking emerged as the second
most significant respector okay boy.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Vietnam.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, Vietnam dollar twenty four US for a pack, and and.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
It's forty bucks in New Zealand. Yeah, forty bucks. It's good.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
So it's so a prevalent aspect of Vietnam smoking. God
is the customer use of cigarettes as a means of salutation.
In other words, you know you yeah, when you see someone,
you have a SIGI with them. It's also one of
the ten best places to buy cheap cigarettes. The Philippines
dollar forty seven yea for a pack US.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
I know that's where we get I have heard allegedly
that that's where we get a lot of our cigarettes
that are.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Sold coming in smuggled and steel beams.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah, via the Philippines. I think Turkey dollars sixty four.
Oh yeah, heaps of people in Turkey smoke hockey.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
They love fucking a heater there.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
You're still smoking inside over the percent. Russia two dollars
six US.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
It's of course still quite cheap. I though thought Russia
would be more expense. Russia, they love it. They love
a sigi. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Egypt two dollars ten in Egypt.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Yeah, Middle East love lie arrier you Gistan blah blah
blah blah blah. So there you go.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Yeah, okay, it's the usual suspects. I remember going to
Greece twenty years ago and in the in those days,
you know, smoking was just sort of being barreden bars
in New Zealand and Australian and stuff in the US,
and which at the time, believe it or not, was
oddly controversial. Looking back on it makes complete sense now,
(26:25):
but at the time it was quite controversial when they
did that could just be able to smoke and bars meshy, Yeah,
you know.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
On the dance floor, I made so many cigarette on
the back of my on the back of my hand,
like mainly on my tricep berea because you're dancing and.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Oh fuck yeah against someone.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Usually hammered with the Siggies, lighting people's hair on fire.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Yes, I was in Greece and we're on the we're
on a faery going from Perez to siff Noss and
Ireland and the cycle of these holy crap, I reckon.
Eighty percent of the people on board was smoking inside.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
It was just full clouds of smoke.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
You had to go outside to get away from the smoke.
Anywhere there's no smoking, no smoking sections. Yeah, the entire
boat was smoking. I was amazing that thing didn't.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Burn like that.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Nobody accidentally put their butt out or something like. It
was so gross. It just reeked of stale smoke plus
the actual smoke in the air man. The Greeks in
those days, they could smoke a SIGGI my word.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
We did some work in China in Beijing, and I
remember being in the hotel and getting in the lift
and a guy got in the lift, lit the fag
up in the lift and was smoking in the lift
with me as we went down like twenty floors smoking away.
I'm like, oh, fucking how like chugging away, and then
his goes keeps. He did not even budge eyes fucking
(27:51):
buckled over laughing because he just ripped ass right in
front of me while chugging his dart. Doors open, he
just walks out, and I was like, I know you.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
I mean, you don't mind the seeking n fart, You've
never minded that, but I know you hate second and
smoking because when we went to Japan that time, Heath
and I purposely bought a pack you sigis because they're
so cheap and you could smoke inside, and we just
both we went on either side of you at that
at that restaurant, and both of us just lit up
at done it while you were eating.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
I was trying to enjoy. I think it was a
ramen or some noodle. So I'm leaned over the noodle
bowl and I have you two funck words either side,
like bum smell, like just chuffing away, not concentrating on
your own meal, just just drawing on the on the
cigarette and then just blowing it in my face either side.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Comedy smoking is what it is. It was so enjoyable. God,
it was nice to I mean, I didn't enjoy the
extra smoking part, but god, it was got the second
hand part of it. Watching your face. You were dark. Well,
you were genuinely obvious, the darkest I think try me.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
I was in a fucking cigarette and Andrew Mulligan was
was there as well, and he just stuff as terrible
asthma and so he was on the other side. He
was having an asthma attack on the other side of
the table and he is like three meters away. That's right, man, Yeah, alright, alright, okay,
it's got to be Should we knock this on the head? Yeah,
we'll await us.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Okay, they're right.
All right, fellas, and we're recording. It's Wednesday, the ninth
of October twenty twenty four.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome a long Do you guys find it tough now
doing the podcast because for the longest time we just
kind of start up recording and then Meddi would just
go somewhere and then we'll be like, Okay, that's where
we're going today. But now it's actually up to us.
We've got to figure out what we have to talk
about for the next kind of twenty five to thirty minutes.
So you boys got anything if you brought anything to
the table today.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Julane, Well, there's a few spu stories I couldn't say
on here, or should we start? We can go there
because I mean I did poos what you poos to spews?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Poos to spews basically in a day. So what's the
next body flow? The only one that we've got left
is the number yeah, number three juice.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Okay, well, luckily I'm not here tomorrow. Thankful save that
for Monday. That number three bags stories that'll have to
be for the podcast only.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Yeah, I don't think they'd be safe on here.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Well, the kids are on holiday at the moment, nobody's
driving their kids to school, so probably not so worried
about that the kids in the car. Then again, how
many people are listening with kids in the car?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I mean I say that as well as if you're
listening to herd Ache in the car with the kids,
you should expect there should be no surprises, really, because
if you want full missionary, go listen to the hits
or go listen to the goes in the coast. If
you want some missionary, just bland shit. But if you
want your kids to learn about what a number three
(01:32):
and number two is, you want your kids to learn
best viewing techniques. If you want to teach your kids
how not to attach pornography to your bluetooth while whacking
off from the toilet, then listen to herd Ache. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
The only issue is that they will hear a couple
of things and then they'll ask questions. This is always
the thing if I think as a parent, if you
knew that what the kids were going to hear was
going to be explained scientifically afterwards, yes, then you'd be
like for me, I'd welcome all commers, be like, oh whatever,
I'm happy to sit through that with the kids, it's fine.
(02:04):
The issue comes where you hear something and then the
kids say, so what is that?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
What's a pelican? And then you go.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
What's the pelican? He said, Well, that's where a person
spews into another person's mouth and you sort of pass
it around that way.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
What is space docking? Dad?
Speaker 1 (02:21):
And you're like, well, that's where you dock a force
gun and a penis together and to give that sort
of frontways like you like a space station.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Why do people do that? Dad? I got that last night. Actually,
I got that. Went over to the neighbors for a
spa and the sons at University in christ Church, and
he'd seen a photo to his parents of him naked
up a tree and.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
On purpose or by mistake, on purpose, all.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Of his friends up a tree naked and.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Were they doing the possum chilling?
Speaker 3 (02:51):
That's exactly what I said. I said, were they playing possum?
And then Ralph, my eldest, goes, what's possum? And I went, well, possums.
When you climb a tree with box of beer. Everyone
climbs a tree with a box of beer and the
last person to fall out of the tree wins. And
he goes, why do you fall out. So if you
need to go for a purse or a bit too drunk,
you fall out of the tree and he goes, did
you play it? I mean, of course I did. He goes,
(03:13):
did you win? I said, of course I did.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Of course I did so.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
And then he started getting into the details around how
many beers was it. I was like, it's like a
box bear, so twelve beers? Because how strong were the beers?
Like into the details, Yeah, so I see like mid
strength and were talking kind of four percent wounders. They
were like Twoey's and kind of that kind of carry
on when I was at university. So not strong beers, Ralph,
not strongly. You're not not your rainbow beers or your
you know, your knife parties. The otherwise I would have
(03:39):
fallen head first out by wanting in the first to
fall out. Yeah, and he's like.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Okay, I can see him just thinking, okay, yeah, you're
going to have an interesting few years there.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
What's been the approach for you guys in terms of
parenting in around alcohol. Have you guys kind of exposed
them to alcohol early doors to hope that maybe when
they come to a time they start going out and drinking,
that they're not hiding that type of thing from you,
and all that kind of.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Stuff for so funny because you think that when you
as a reasonably I would describe myself as a reasonably
liberal person, and as a reasonably liberal person who's done
some things in their life, I always assume that when
it got to that point with my kids, I'd be like,
you know whatever. But oddly enough, I I in terms
(04:25):
of my fourteen year old's she's going to be fifteen soon. Yeah,
I've gone with a kind of middle of the pack approach,
which is like, I don't because you don't want to
be forcing your kids, and you don't want to feel
like you're forcing them into drinking. I mean, you've got
to be careful there because you don't want them getting drunk,
because it's you don't want your kids being drunk because
(04:46):
you know that it's doing them damaged, and you just
don't want to damage your kids. So it's quite weird.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
I we allow, we allow.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
And I put that in adverted commas because what actually
what happens compared to what is allowed is like everything
completely different. But Mishka is allowed to have four drinks,
which sounds like quite a lot. But she's but I
think about myself and I think about what I did
at that age, and I was drinking at thirteen, right,
(05:16):
So the end of third form I started drinking. So
end of year nine me and my friends were definitely
on the bows at that stage and fourth form not
all the time.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
But wherever we could, yes, any any opportunity. Yeah, and
fourth form.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
So year ten I tried pot yack and I was
definitely on the bows for form one. So how are
you doing these things?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Were you doing?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Were you like going to parties and stuff like that
at that time or was it more of just a
secret kind of round the back of the school. She'd type,
he's a bottle of tequila rostole from my dad's look
at keeping it.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
There was a bit of that, but there was It
was you'd go around to people's houses whose parents had
gone away, so it was like whose parents had gone away,
Who's going away for the weekend, And then everyone would
say that they were staying the night somewhere, and then
we'd end up staying at this place or you or
sneak out all sorts of crap, you know, all the
same tricks that the kids are still oddly enough operating
(06:15):
today and the kids don't realize that you have done
the same thing. So it's quite a weird thing as
a parent because you you want to you don't want
to stop them from drinking, because in my experience, I'm
looking at some of the parents who are trying to
run a line like you're not allowed to drink, you're
too young, you're too young, and all those people's parents,
all those people's kids are getting really really rap faced
and expelling and stuff. So I don't know, it's quite
(06:37):
a hard line.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
And but you don't.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Want to be encouraging it.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
But you don't want to be discouraging it. It's not
you're not.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
You kind of got to supervise it slightly.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
You want them to be pest fit, you know, so
they go to the party and they're not, they're not
the story.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yeah, oh absolutely, So I'm kind of running a line
with most curious. So you don't want to be at
the front of the pack, but you probably don't want
to be at the back of the pack. You just
want to be in the middle of the pack where
everyone else is. That's and also try and say to it,
you've got to learn your limits. Don't drink too quickly,
because what actually happens is so we give her four
drinks and then all of a sudden, someone's found some
(07:12):
extra ones from somewhere else. I found some stashed up
the driveway and a bin. I was like, one of
these doing here. She's like, oh, someone must have come
off the road and put them now. I was like sure,
I said, oh, okay, but you know, they'll find extra
drinks because that falls not quite enough because they're wanting
to get you know, but I'm trying you to just
(07:33):
make sure you drink slowly, have some food before you
go out, don't have a drink on an empty stomach,
take your time because they actually the best feeling that
you get from alcohol is when you eat food and
you drink slowly. And that's what it's meant to be.
It's not meant to hit you really really fast, because
what that is is your body not processing the alcohol.
Is drunkenness is an inability for your body to process
(07:55):
the alcohol in time. That's all drunkenness is. Right, So
if you drink ready really slowly, if you drink, drink
a tiny little sip for you know, twenty four hours
and you's had to sip every ten minutes. You you
can drink for days. You can just keep going, going, going,
and don't even get drunk. But it's the overwhelming. It's
the it's overwhelming your body with the poison that can't
(08:17):
process it.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Best drinking game.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
For me, I always liked what was a good drinking game.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
There's Hermit. There's a Hermit. I'm thinking all the ones
I did when I was flatting. There's Hermit, which is
basically you get a twenty four beers or twelve beers,
go to your room, lock yourself in your room, and
everyone in the flat locks themselves in the room by
themselves and finishes the drinks and then comes out into
the lounge at the same time.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Now, when you see best drinking game, that's not really
a drinking game. That's more sort of just heavy alcoholism.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
With a meal. With a meal we take KFC and
with us as well, obviously we're drinking responsibly. This is
back in university days.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Yeah, and my unie days.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
We used to start every night with the five and fifteen,
which is just kind of gets gets the wheels rolling,
which you do the first vessel in five and then
you do the second vessel in four and it just
gets you know, five drinks and you in fifteen minutes,
and that gets things kind of moving.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
That's good. High.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Lower for me is the is the game which really
has lasted my lifetime, which I've never come across a
game which is more effective at destroying every single person
who plays it, but just in different times. So you
think at first that the cards are going your way. Yes,
but in this basic game, you know, where you get
(09:29):
a deck of cards, shove them up, and then you
put a card down and say, if it's a six,
you've got to You've got to before you put the
next card down and you pick it, you've got to
say whether it's going to be high or other than six.
And you think that sometimes the cards are going away
because you've got I've got rolls around the gray area.
You know, if it's an eight and the card before
and I've got a call on an eight and the
(09:49):
card before was a six, I keep going up, so
I'll go higher in that situation, whereas if I'm coming
down from a jack to an eight, I'll go lower.
So through an eight and a nine, through the gray
area blackjack.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
It's the area of uncertainty, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah, but I've never seen anybody ever get out of
that game. If you play it for an hour without
being completely destroyed, even through the gray, the cards will
turn on you eventually.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
We are. We had a game called heaps, and what
you do is usually revolved around a super rugby game
or a rugby league game. Guy Johnston actually was a
big fan of heaps when he was living with us,
and we would pick a player and every time that
player touched the ball. You've got to drink heaps.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
How much is heaps?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
It's up to you. It's your determines what your capacity is.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
That's quite an adult sort of a thing.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
It's not draconian, no, So it's like, but if you're
a big drinker, you just finish, you can and drink heaps.
But then stupidly people would pick like the half back.
People are just sick. You don't want to do that.
I would. I would pack a prop. Yeah. There was
a time where we you just put them in and
we drew them out after that because people were staying
(11:03):
to be a bit more technical around the game of heaps. Yeah,
and also, if you've got the halfback, your definition of
heaps could just be a sick because you're basically halfback's
touching it.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, it does end up being heaps over a five
minute period. Yeah, have you guys ever played winning bingo?
So when you have a table and then you write
down a whole lot of word like love, beautiful, the
names of the bride and the groom, and then every
time and then you you dip them into a hat
and then you pick it out, and then every time any
(11:33):
of those words are mentioned in the speech, you have
to drink.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Yeah, I've ruined many. I do it also at prize giving,
So I did it famously. The last time I ever
got invited to the Hellbergs, I did this at the table.
And because Helbergs are fucking boring, and I was at
the table invited by A and Z, let's just say
I never.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Got invited back and I strike number ten.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
So I was at the table and at the hell
Bergs we had a couple of Paralympic athletes as well,
and they were fucking up for it hard. So I
was like, right, guys, I sat at the table. Heyay, guys,
these are fucking boring. Let's make this interesting. We all
know it's going to be boring. Let's make it interesting.
I'm going to write down ten names, ten ten words, honored, privileged,
(12:22):
hard work, all the things, all the speeches, and it
concludes the videos when the video montages come as well
handed them all out. Anyway, we started getting really hammered,
to the point where someone would say I'm honored, and
our table would go, oh, this.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Is the same thing as winning Bengo. The issue is
that all of a sudden they go, I just love
my beautiful wife and you, and they're like, what the
hell is going on?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Anyway, it ended with me spelly a glass of red
wine all over the sponsorship manager of van Zi and
she said, Mike, that's enough for you. You can leave now.
Oh wow, nice you to leave.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
So right, Yeah, that wasn't the time that you left
and then you passed out in the foyer.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
That's that was the Cricket Awards.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Okay, well you can come back in just a moment
and tell us about that. Then we're back.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Look the Cricket Awards that I mean, that's not my
story to tell. I think Laura McGoldrick, as she was
the one that peeled me out of the cricketing alley
that they built this kind of well, it was the
Cricket Awards and it was at the Langham I think,
and there was a hallway and they dressed it all up,
that cricketing alley with signs for different stadiums and cricket
gear and trees and stuff, and it was like a
(13:34):
little experience he walked through before you got to the
to the ballroom. And I blame I blame Doug Bracewell.
I do you know why he won Bowler of the
Year that year Test Bowler of the Year when he
I think he won us that game in Hobart, yep.
And they interviewed him on stage. Eric Eric Young interviewed
him for forty minutes.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Oh my god, Eric Young knows he knows how to
create a wake. Oh my god, you've turned up to
someone's wake.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
I reckon. I drank a bottle and a half of
wine during that because it was so boring, and Doug
blessed Doug. He's a man a few words and he's
not going to give a great but Eric tried to
get everything out of him. So I blame that because
that was that was where I reached the tipping point.
And then I went and kicked heath Mills Players Association
CEO and the balls while he was talking to the
president of New Zealand Cricket.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Any reason why he kicked him on the balls, I
just saw.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Him the hes open exposed. Then well, that same night
Victory ended up urinating in the cloak cupboard, so there
was there was other villains around that night, including Tim Southy.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Well for Tory claims of his story of that night,
he claims that I remember I got a text the
next day and it just said Lain was a disgrace.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
He was, That is him, that's thro throwing Mark just
Laane was a disgrace. He thought he confused the cloak
cupbod where everyone's coats were with the urinal. Then he
ended up in there winging all over everyone's coats. So
he can't really talk on that front. But I was
a more public disgrace because I I had to leave.
(15:01):
I was wasted, but I couldn't quite and I think
James ware who was the commercial manager of New Zealand Cricket,
spotted that I was in a in a bit of
a state when he saw me halfway out one of
the signs and Crickets way and the display as it
fell over and I crushed it, and I think Laura
McGoldrick came along. She kind of helped out and see
Jesus Lane, get the fuck out of here. And I
was like, and I was put into a taxi. I
(15:25):
was put into a taxi by James Ware and this
only Cricket paid for the taxi as well, because I like,
get this guy the fuck out of here. So yeah,
I haven't got a great track record. So that's why
the ACC we're actually doing our own sports awards at
the start of next year, the night before the Hallberg's,
We're doing the Chaney's the Snack of Chaney Sports Awards
(15:48):
with the ACC. So we're doing our own sports awards
for all the disgraced people who can no longer attend
sports awards. We've got one. Is it virtual or is
it actually? How We're going to have it and at
iHeart Lounge.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Are we sure we want to do that?
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Yeah? Fuck you?
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Are you sure? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Because we're gonna The categories are better though, because they're
like biggest sports blow out, biggest commentary curse, biggest sporting
hot take, best haircut, best mustache, you know, stuff that
people really care about in sports awards. So the Snacker
Changy it's gonna be in February. We're doing yeah, but
we're doing nominations pre Christmas though. So it's one of
(16:25):
these things where I've been I'm not welcome in any
awards anymore.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
So I've bilt my own smart Smart. That's That's kind
of the story of your life, really, isn't it. You're
not welcome in certain places.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Last night I had my partner Lauren around staying the night,
and she obviously works for you, Julane, in the commercial department,
and she's told a very different side of that story.
And and look, I know it's going to break you
out to find out that there's someone a little bit
less passionate about the Snacker changing sports awards.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
She came home last night, Jerry, She came home last night.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
J says.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
You never gets what ju Lane what's to do next year.
You'll never gets what.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
It's a bit of work to work for other people.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Off and you'll never get what Gelane wants to do
next year. He was the host of his own Sports
Awards for all the people that have been kicked out
of previous sports awards, and he wants to put it
in the foyer of our corporate building here in Auckland, CBD.
And she's so right now, ge Lane, I'm glad you're
feeling positive, but look, I don't know if it's going
to give you.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Oh. Look, there's a bit of work for people, to
be honest, there's a little bit of work to be
done behind the scenes. But Lee Harts, he's behind it.
He's going to help co host it. Snakes.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
That doesn't make it any list.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
I'm talking in front of house. Yeah, I'm back your house.
That can work itself out. The careategrees most important, but
is like the categories. We've got to get the categories
right and the voting right because it's the people's people's
choice pre Christmas.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Could we do like a plus like under eighty five's awards,
So you've got you got there, So everyone that's under
eighty five kilograms is.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Just any award but for under eighty five. But you've
got an under eighty five subsection of every award. That's
quite good.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Okay, so under eighty five's you know, so this award
is were that we're going to celebrate.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I don't know what's an award that you think.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
We're doing the biggest sporting blowout in terms of off
feel blowout.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
It's fantastic we do under ready five kg underady five.
That that there's a weight restriction. Yeah, that does make
a lot of sense.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
What opens it up, doesn't it? It makes it fair?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Yeah, it does.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
And then I don't know, like Smittye for example, you know,
Notorius for a massive blow out on the on the w.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, he can. He's in the open section. That's he's
definitely in the open section. It's not the weight restricted many.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Under eady fives though, I mean it's going to be
hard to do, Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
I mean mainly women won't be ready five.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Can you think of any sporting blow outs that have
happened on the female side of things lately?
Speaker 1 (18:34):
When we're talking blowout? What does blood? Blood?
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Off field? Off field indiscretion? You know when whitewash investigations
come in and try and sweep it under the carpet.
N r L n r L is an absolute field
for it.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Well, you would have thought that surely the was the
Ramphilly shield.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Was that this yeral last year last year with the
last year the reason, Yeah, the reason on it what's
been a big sporting blow out. I can't even think
n r L n r L have provided quite a few.
We've got that's where the categories. We are going to
go out with the categories for people to vote on that.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
And it's going to be fun. Now I'll take about
what I said earlier.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Lash. Yeah, No, it's a it's a sports awards that
what they should be. There's a mixture of success and
just lunacy as well. And I think that the Hellbergs
is missing a little bit. They need to Pello the
media a little bit more in it. It's too earnest.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Can we get some money from big tobacco because oh yeah,
that's the other thing that sports awards lack nowadays. Yeah,
big fags nothing, nothing from Rothman's, nothing from B and H.
Surely they've got some money sloshing around.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Yeah, that's good. That's a good idea actually, because they
can't spend it on marketing, but they can spend it
on events.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
It's just a lot of money in Big fag, huge.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Money in Big Fag particularly they've moved into vapes. That's why.
And I'll tell you what. We've been to Europe. Saw
two people vaping. I saw two people vapes in Europe.
Now everyone's on the analogs now they on the heat is.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Hard, so that's still right, okay fuck yeah, yeah, Well
they're not quite as harsh in terms of their anti
smoking stuff. So as a result, I mean, yeah, as
a result, everybody's still on the on the proper darts.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
Yeah. So they spend all their money. I did a
bit of work for a big fag in London for
BAT in London, and they spend all their money on
sales incentives. And so if you're if you're you're selling
fags into dairies or supermarkets or whatever, if you're a
good salesperson, they'll reward you with the most amazing conference
(20:23):
you'll ever see. Like you go away and no expense,
spear because all that marketing spend gets spent on incentives
for sales, for direct sales, because they can't spend it
on that. So maybe we should just maybe they can
just do the event and we can just have a
little kind of fag dispenser in the corner.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
That's what they want, I mean, could they run it?
I reckon as well if I was involved in big
fag marketing. Yeah, I'd be running anti fag the whole time.
I'd be I'd be running anti fag marketing as my marketing. Okay,
so you just constantly you actually, you can spend the
money by saying that this is this is don't vape. Yeah,
(21:01):
this is a non vape blah blah blah blah. But
it's just saying the word vape all the time.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Yeah. And then and as a kid, you'd be like, well,
they're saying don't do it. One hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I think if you're saying people don't do it, I
think more and more people will totally.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
That's what I do.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I just completely focus on the opposite because what do
you got to lose. You're not going to drive people
away from it, It's impossible. Yeah, I think the vaping
part of it. I see that Philip Morris is mess
of the puge on the vapor.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Yeah, well they all are. They all are, but they
just start up little you don't know they're part of them.
Most of the big vapes around our own by big fag.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
What percentage of big.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
V big v are owned by big fag big fag.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Yeah, percentage of a peck of darts ends up going
back to Big Fag, like, how much of that is taxing?
Is the market with the prices increasing, is Big Fag
now earning more money?
Speaker 3 (21:54):
No, the money is going to in Texas, Texas. And
the justification of that is the healthcare requirements of someone
who's a lifetime fagure who requires more healthcare.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, yeah, well that makes sense. Yeah, tobacco exercised duties sorry,
tobacco excise dudies u ngs to currently account for seventy
percent of the retail price of most cigarettes.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Seventy percent of forty bucks?
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Is that right, that's yeah, I'd go another ten on
top of that. These days, Dell is nodding at me
out fifty bucks.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Now, you can't bump, you can't pack a twenties, you
can't bumm a fag. You can't bumm a fag. These
days it's like three bucks.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Because if you've bomb a fag and then you throw
it on the pavement and then yeah, you've got half
a fag left there.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Yeah you're you're you've just pretty much put five bucks
on the grid. Yeah, oh man, roll is cheaper.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Roll yeah yeah, yeah, rollings are cheaper.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
But mose yes, so.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
Much, headman. So much Edman.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
What's the most expensive place to buy what's the country
the most expensive cigarettes in the world? Yiss, Singapore, No,
New Zealand, Australia, the New Zealand second, and then Norway, Iceland,
Canada cheap, Singapore, France really finance, Switzerland cheapest. Who's the
(23:12):
cheapest fag cheapest?
Speaker 3 (23:13):
So it'll be like maybe China.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I'm I reckon it's going to be somewhere in like
Africa a recon deapest. Where do they grow with the
tobacco everywhere?
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Certain climates, certain climates lead themselves to big.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Fag doesn't need warmth. Yep, cigarette priceless. It was the
cheapest cigarettes, cheapest country.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
I think it's it's it's asral Africa must be looking
at I reckon, isn't illegal importan Zimbabwe?
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Ah?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
What two dollars thirty? Ye?
Speaker 1 (23:55):
And then for a local breeders about Kazakhstan two dollars
forty for a pack? Yeah, Vietnam three bucks in Vietnam?
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Are they just living on the theory that like, if
you decide to keep smoking the n.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
S's your own fault on you just whatever? Yeah, yeah,
I suppose they don't. Oh wow, this This is actually
bloody interesting this line. I mean, I remember when I
was in libbya that cigarettes was so cheap. Well, I've
got it's just some weird age verification thing.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Zimbabwe.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah, okay, so hold on Zimbabwe, well o point six
US dollars, So that's way cheaper is that per cigarette?
It's the leading producer of tobacco in Africa.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Oh okay, so they've got the supply.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Fourth global production in Zimbabwe.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Yep, I shouldn't even knew that.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
There you go. Kazakhstan is a dollar fifteen US cross
sic and State revealed tobacco smoking emerged as the second
most significant respector okay boy.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Vietnam.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, Vietnam dollar twenty four US for a pack, and and.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
It's forty bucks in New Zealand. Yeah, forty bucks. It's good.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
So it's so a prevalent aspect of Vietnam smoking. God
is the customer use of cigarettes as a means of salutation.
In other words, you know you yeah, when you see someone,
you have a SIGI with them. It's also one of
the ten best places to buy cheap cigarettes. The Philippines
dollar forty seven yea for a pack US.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
I know that's where we get I have heard allegedly
that that's where we get a lot of our cigarettes
that are.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Sold coming in smuggled and steel beams.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah, via the Philippines. I think Turkey dollars sixty four.
Oh yeah, heaps of people in Turkey smoke hockey.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
They love fucking a heater there.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
You're still smoking inside over the percent. Russia two dollars
six US.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
It's of course still quite cheap. I though thought Russia
would be more expense. Russia, they love it. They love
a sigi. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Egypt two dollars ten in Egypt.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Yeah, Middle East love lie arrier you Gistan blah blah
blah blah blah. So there you go.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Yeah, okay, it's the usual suspects. I remember going to
Greece twenty years ago and in the in those days,
you know, smoking was just sort of being barreden bars
in New Zealand and Australian and stuff in the US,
and which at the time, believe it or not, was
oddly controversial. Looking back on it makes complete sense now,
(26:25):
but at the time it was quite controversial when they
did that could just be able to smoke and bars meshy, Yeah,
you know.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
On the dance floor, I made so many cigarette on
the back of my on the back of my hand,
like mainly on my tricep berea because you're dancing and.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Oh fuck yeah against someone.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Usually hammered with the Siggies, lighting people's hair on fire.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Yes, I was in Greece and we're on the we're
on a faery going from Perez to siff Noss and
Ireland and the cycle of these holy crap, I reckon.
Eighty percent of the people on board was smoking inside.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
It was just full clouds of smoke.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
You had to go outside to get away from the smoke.
Anywhere there's no smoking, no smoking sections. Yeah, the entire
boat was smoking. I was amazing that thing didn't.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Burn like that.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Nobody accidentally put their butt out or something like. It
was so gross. It just reeked of stale smoke plus
the actual smoke in the air man. The Greeks in
those days, they could smoke a SIGGI my word.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
We did some work in China in Beijing, and I
remember being in the hotel and getting in the lift
and a guy got in the lift, lit the fag
up in the lift and was smoking in the lift
with me as we went down like twenty floors smoking away.
I'm like, oh, fucking how like chugging away, and then
his goes keeps. He did not even budge eyes fucking
(27:51):
buckled over laughing because he just ripped ass right in
front of me while chugging his dart. Doors open, he
just walks out, and I was like, I know you.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
I mean, you don't mind the seeking n fart, You've
never minded that, but I know you hate second and
smoking because when we went to Japan that time, Heath
and I purposely bought a pack you sigis because they're
so cheap and you could smoke inside, and we just
both we went on either side of you at that
at that restaurant, and both of us just lit up
at done it while you were eating.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
I was trying to enjoy. I think it was a
ramen or some noodle. So I'm leaned over the noodle
bowl and I have you two funck words either side,
like bum smell, like just chuffing away, not concentrating on
your own meal, just just drawing on the on the
cigarette and then just blowing it in my face either side.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Comedy smoking is what it is. It was so enjoyable. God,
it was nice to I mean, I didn't enjoy the
extra smoking part, but god, it was got the second
hand part of it. Watching your face. You were dark. Well,
you were genuinely obvious, the darkest I think try me.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
I was in a fucking cigarette and Andrew Mulligan was
was there as well, and he just stuff as terrible
asthma and so he was on the other side. He
was having an asthma attack on the other side of
the table and he is like three meters away. That's right, man, Yeah, alright, alright, okay,
it's got to be Should we knock this on the head? Yeah,
we'll await us.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Okay, they're right.
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