December 24, 2025 • 17 mins
Join Jerry, Manaia, Rooda, and Zoe for a Hauraki Breakfast podcast Christmas special!
Who got what, who's doing what, and why is Jerry such a Myrrh Man?
WE'RE BACK ON MONDAY JAN 19 - AND THE RADIO SHOW NOW GOES FROM 6-10AM WEEKDAYS!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome along to the Breakfast Podcast Christmas Special. Merry Christmas
everyone on Christmas Day.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
And so good of all of you to take time
out of your Christmas Day. I know you've all got families,
so to be here, I know the you know what
you've gone through.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
I mean, so you've had to come back from Germany
for this.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I'm say, fuck the family. It's nice to be hanging
out with our work family.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Yeah, fuck the family.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Fuck your family. Fuck your family on Christmas, not actually
fuck them. Don't do that. Don't do that.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
I mean, play how you want to. Christmas traditions. What's
the Christmas tradition in the Wells household?
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Jerry, The Wells is just as just like a dry
Min's pie, as dry as possible, fruits of course. Actually,
the day starts with the waking up and the presents
in a pillow case. Back in the day at the
at the end of your beer from Santa and then
Santa's presence would be would be Sanda would come down
(01:06):
the chimney and put out a beer for Santa. A
beer and cookie a mince pie actually is what Santa
seems to like from our place. Santa would drink the
beer and some milk for the reindeer. Come, yeah, carrots
are range of too, actually, and then and then yeah,
opening of the presence in the morning, and then pretty
(01:28):
much just stress after that, getting ready for the family lunch,
which happens at about two thirty three, two thirty three
o'clock in the Wells household.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
What about and the Stuart family, Well, the Stuart family,
it's actually the Fleming family on my mom's side of
the family. We get up gifts, early doors, and then yeah,
straight into the stress of cooking for you know, ten people.
Back in the day, it was always Grandad about in
(01:59):
the vigie patch digging up some new spuds. Oh well
for the day, Yeah, for the day, straight up, straight
out the ground, yep, straight in there. I actually think
that was just a way for him to get out
of the house. He'll be out there, and the thing is,
it's a it's a great escape clause because no one
wants to get stuck helping him, so you're not gonna
(02:20):
go out there and ask him how he's going. And
then he also gets to duck out for a few hours.
But a backyard cricket will get a run as well.
I had a great backyard cricket yard at my grandparents place.
Me and the uncle will get out there and do that.
One year I got cricket bat and pads and everything,
so we had a bit of a nit session out there.
One year I accidentally hit Mutley over the head with
the criocket bat because Mutley chased.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
The ball when my uncle bowled it. Jeez, that was grim.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
And then we're into the salmon, ham, chicken spuds, and
then you're basically just gorging for the rest of the afternoon.
At about sort of two three, I'll get told off
for having had too many beers on Christmas. And that's
were the first of what I would say be several
arguments throughout the afternoon. And then at some point someone
will suggest putting love actually on for the evening, and
(03:09):
then and then yeah, to be honest, it genuinely is
a different person every year. And then well, at least
last year, once we run out of person one Blazz,
we had to over around to another Blaz.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
What's happening in the Ruder household today, Ruda.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Well, today, what we're doing is we just get the
in laws over from next door, because they live at
the back part of our house and so we'll be
doing some croissant.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Start the day with a croissant. Open prisons before that, Yes.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Yes, we will open the prisons because we've got a
nine and eleven year old just fucking rap it out
early doors, absolutely rab it.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
But then open the presence and then they play with
the prisons all day, which is quite good.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
And then they throw them out, Yeah, they throw them out.
It's good. At least get one day of present use.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
And you look at it and you're like, obviously though
a lot of the presents delivered by Santas, so I
definitely don't look at them and go, what a waste
of my fucking money. I definitely do not do anything
like that.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
You know what? Do you know what I bet you do?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
You know what your kids could get you for Christmas?
That I think would mean more than anything Christmas? Chit
a fucking gratitude.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Yeah, but.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Just hearing men and I I speak. Actually, I just
want to take you back to the late eighties and
early nineties. I remember being a kid and because of
course the Curtis side of my family, my mum's side
of the family, Cliff and them, well, Uncle Cliff or
second cousin, Cliff was more better known by myself. He
didn't come along to the family hungies that we used
to have. But it's funny. We used to have a
(04:43):
family a family hungy for Christmas, and the ads, the
uncles would gather around and they would play this little
joke on the kids because they smoked as well, and
they would put a bottle into the top of the
hungy and when the kids weren't looking, they would have
a little smoke and they would a little bit of
smoke inside the bottle and they'd say, oh, look, kids,
what happens is the smoke rises in and once there's
(05:06):
enough smoke inside the bottle, it will fall over. And
that's how we'll know that the honey is ready. And
of course that was all a lie, and we found
out later when we grew up. But yeah, I remember
a lot of cabbage, a lot of pork, and a
lot of good times with the extended Curtis Faner.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
You've just had to leave. You've be doing it now.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Doesn't Bellshekle turn up at your place and whack you
with sticks? Have you been naughty? Isn't that what happens
in Germany?
Speaker 5 (05:34):
I'm not naughty.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I wouldn't know. Okay, crampis or something, Hey crampis.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Never heard that Mark Clambert.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Does Mark clamber turn up with the oppers Black Pete?
Have you ever.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
You guys ever heard of black black Pete?
Speaker 1 (05:48):
And that's in the Netherlands. Black Pete is the dude
that cruises around with Saint Can delivers the presence. Yeah,
he climbs down the chimney.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
And he gets all covered in So is he covered
and so it?
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Or is he just an African slave? It's hard to
know exactly, but it's a great Dutch tradition dating back
five six hundred.
Speaker 5 (06:07):
Years has when I would say, putting a bit of
space between that, what we do on Christmas is for us,
Christmas is on the twenty fourth. In Germany. We don't
really do anything on the twenty fist.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Oh that's how you manage to get back here so quick.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
Yeah, it was pretty fast last night. Pretty fishent over
there and yeah, twenty fourth we do Christmas dinner altogether,
and then you have to eat dinner. And while you're
eating dinner, you have to look at the prisons under
the tree and you can't open them until dinner.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
It must be bruial for a cad Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Yeah, So when do the prisons get put under.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
The tree, Well, Santa Claus comes at Claus.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
When does Santa Claus arrive? Because I understand in Germany
he actually everyone has to leave the house at a
certain time and then Santa Claus comes at night. Is
that the way it works? Yep.
Speaker 5 (06:51):
So while you know, the adults are prefing dinner or whatever,
my grandparents would go out with me and my cousin
would go for a walk around the town and then
we'd come back in center. It was there sometimes even
even you would get center, like the real center was
at my house.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Wow. Really Yeah, it seems to ride at night in museum.
I suppose it's different time zone.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Yeah, well it's daylight till about eleven o'clock at night.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Yeah, that makes it always.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
It was the most brutal sleep as a kid in
New Zealand, because, particularly down south, the sun doesn't sit
to al almost midnight, and so you get sent to
bed and you can hear the adults still outside having
a gay old time.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Why are they gay?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Full of your tied chair obviously having other snogging under
the same sex things under the missiletop.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Actually, why matey, I wouldn't have thought this as much of.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
That rocking around the Christmas Street.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Well, there is a lot of it going on, and
it's often going on with family.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
But that's why we've got extra fingers. But but it's
just an excruciating sleep as a kid because one it's
thirty degrees too, it's daylight.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
You can hear everyone having fun and you know that
Santa's coming. Yeah, overnight.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
My grandparents' house had fireplaces in every room, so you're like,
whatever room I sleep in tonight, I'm going to see Center.
Santa's got an opportunity here.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
I kind of always feel like I was trying to
stay away from seeing Center because I feel like I
would ruin the magic.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
That's how I was as a kid.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Yeah, or he won't come until you aren't looking.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, and he don't.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
You want to give him a clear window to operate
because he because you have a lot of presents for
you quite like.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
The Christmas Eve thing. Yeah, it's nice, it's quite nice.
Speaker 5 (08:20):
It's also just because it's like dark all day almost
in Germany, so it's like you can't really do much
on a Christmas Day. Yeah, because it's winter, it's cold,
so you do like a nice warming dinner.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Yeah, well, a little bit of history for everybody, and
a little bit of entomology for for Christmas. It is
in fact a celeration of the winter solstice. That's where
it started. It's a it's a what's the name tradition,
the pagan for ye, pagan Pagan solstice tradition. So all
(08:51):
of the things which is borrowed by Christianity because they
knew that they couldn't take it away, because people loved this,
these particular traditions.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
But I thought, sweet baby Jesus, who was way in
a manger.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Yeah, nah, didn't work out that way. That was just
that I remember, sort of adapted for the European to
fit in with pagan celebrations that already existed around winter solstice.
So the whole idea of set being inside. Yeah, mistletoe
all stolen from pagan stuff. The present giving the coca cola?
(09:24):
Is he not part of?
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Was he not there for Jesus?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Well, people often well, how does Santra and Jesus? How
does it? Because Jesus doesn't deliver the presence nine pounds
three ounces. See, that was silly Jesus should have been
the person delivering the presence.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
And also how would you feel if you're one of
the three wise men who showed up with gold frankencents
and merh yeah and then didn't get shit? Yeah you know,
but that's why I sat next getting all the fun work.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
So weirdly in New Zealand where it's where it's an
outdoors the day, big nick energy in New Zealand, whereas
in Europe it's very much and everything's indoor focused.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
You know, if Jesus was a baby. Now like three
ways men to turn up and then what do they
give my fucking PlayStation? That's insane.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I quite like I quite like mirror.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Yeah you break mror guy.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah you guys smellt mirror.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
You're a moor Man.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I like mirror. It's a bit of ror. I'm wearing
a bit of mirror today. Actually that's a r m
U h R.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
I think it's in y r H Why it is mirror.
There may have been two hours in there, like when
your mirror.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Right, like when you're about Mr Chanese Chinese Seminal Christmas Carol, right,
Mr the Morman.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Moved.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
I feel like I feel like now is as good
a time as they need to take a break when
you do that, right, right, right, mirror right.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I wonder if anywhere else is doing a podcast on
Christmas Day. I can't see anyere else in the building. No,
quite like at this time of year.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Actually yes, I yeah, no one around, no one to
see what we are to.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
What about best Christmas presents you've ever got?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I think?
Speaker 3 (11:18):
I think for me.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
The cricket gear, so I got like the full it
was cooker burrough bat pads, gloves.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Fuck, I was stoked.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
That's good prison And that sucked for everyone else because
they then had to come out and give me throwdowns
all day, which sucked.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
But I remember two Christmas presents, particularly one in nineteen
eighty four, so I would have been seven, and my
brother and I got a combined Christmas present of a
table tennis.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Table, oh dude, which is quite.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Of a deal in nineteen eighty four. Still have it?
Still got the nineteen eighty four table tennis table still working?
Is that in your garage? If I said, is at
a batch? Yeah, no, that one's a new one. And
the other one the year before that was a bike,
a red Line BMX, which I got like a chrome
(12:10):
red line B Mix. I had that bitch for about
ten years.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Pedal backwards to stop it.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
No, oh y hand, no years handbrakes. Well it's like
a just one year, but it was a it was
a damn good bike that. In fact, it still exists. Yeah,
still goes now from nineteen eighty three. Where is it? Ah? Okay,
great rusting away?
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Can I lower the tone with another harrowing story from
my childhood place? Absolutely? I got a B Mix one
year for Christmas.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I must have been four or five years old, and
it was one of those B mix with the breaks
when you go backwards.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Yeah, so you could do men as skids.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I went out there biking and beer feet and slipped
and my toe went into the fucking chain the front.
Holy crap, No, yeah, right in the thing. And so
my mom comes out, she freaks out. My toes stuck
between the cog and the fucking chain. Yeah, Christmas Day.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Christmas still got a scar on one s.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Lucky you used to yeah and so so, but she
freaked out. She was like, I've got to get this out.
You know, She's not going to wait for someone to
get there with bolt cutters. Or the Mbu lamps or
whatever called Enbu lamps, and so she tried to peddle
it backwards but because that's the breaks, so that didn't work.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Next portocor right the way around.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
You're joking me, but nah, And so yeah, I think
it was basically bone and tin and that was.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
That was left.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
But luckily I was young enough.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
That the you know it all sort of grew back
and and sprouted back again. But I have still to
this day like a phobia of biking and gender and
gendles will be a fish.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I remember as a cat, I was running on the
side of the house one day and on the grass,
and my dad had left you know those secret tours
but your whole them like this and they sort of
go like like the horizontal, yeah, And he left them
in the long ish grass and they was sitting for
some reason. I don't know why, but he'd been doing
some kind of gardening and I was running down the
(14:13):
side of our house on the grass and I stood
right on top of my big toe, on top of
that second tour thing on the end. It went through
my big toe and started just it had nudged up
the nail nail and I was like, and my parents
(14:34):
game came sort of over, and I was like, and
so they were still in there, like they were stuck
in six and they was stuck in there. And we
went into the into the bathroom which had a bath
and there was blood everything. It was so much blood,
and then got the dead hole on the blood and
just red.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
The blood was just reda.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
My dad couldn't My dad couldn't deal with it. And
my mum had pulled these things out. I'll never forget
the feeling when they were being extracted out a out
of my toes. She just pulled them out. Oh, so
much blood. It was horrible. I had I think I
probably still got a scar on the bottom of my
bleaked It was almost sliced my tongue in toe.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Oh my god, that was horrible. That's reminded me of
another one. That's what's not bad. It's pretty bad. I
don't know if this happened on Christmas or not. I'm
sure my family will listen to this and then correct me.
But my uncle came into the lounge and my mom
had just been sewing something and she'd finished sewing, was
sitting in this seat and she put the pin in
(15:39):
the arm.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Rest of the seat. She's just you know.
Speaker 6 (15:43):
And he comes sitting and he's full of the yule
tide chair and he sits down at his slams his
hands on the thing, and this needle just goes straight
through like crucified as.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
The story of Jesus.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
He's got the stick mart He sat down, stick marked.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Himself and then running back out there. Oh man, it's a.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Great time for your tied injuries, isn't it. We made
a very ropey.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Excuse the pun tire swing out of a tree in
the backyard, run yere, and my dad was pushing me and.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
On the little kids.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I'm like, whoa, push me higher and high, and then
he gave me a mighty heave and the rope just
snapped right half and I went flying into a bush
with the tire.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Yeah we have with the tire. Oh man. Yeah, so
I don't know, stay safe out there, Yeah safe.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
If we could go back in time and we were
on the radio last Friday in City of the Big
Show having to do it, we could have done Christmas injuries.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Yeah, there's a topic, so many of them. Yeah, people
often tied this time of year. That's the other thing.
So they've just been through a full year of work
and more likely to have a fall crap.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Another Christmas one, again involving my uncle, was he got
a new golf club.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
It was a widge.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
We play this game. It's a brilliant move of unclemanship
from him. Where we'd go in the backyard. We called
it gidget and it was basically he would just sit
there and chip golf balls to me and I would
catch them. And I loved it and felt like slip
fielding practice. Well, one day he was practicing a new
flop shot he was trying to trying to invent, and
(17:16):
as he wound up for the flop shot, I stood
on a prickle and looked down right a thinned one
and have me ride in the bicyle. And then he
went into full damage controller, not going to.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Like what do you want? What do you need? Do
you want chocolate?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
You know?
Speaker 3 (17:33):
How do I how do I bribe you out of
this one?
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Yeah? All right, Well, Merry Christmas everyone, Yeah, stay safe, Yeah,
have a lovely day. Season's going to go start the honey.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Everywhere you go.
Speaker 6 (17:53):
Take a look at the five and ten
Welcome along to the Breakfast Podcast Christmas Special. Merry Christmas
everyone on Christmas Day.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
And so good of all of you to take time
out of your Christmas Day. I know you've all got families,
so to be here, I know the you know what
you've gone through.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
I mean, so you've had to come back from Germany
for this.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I'm say, fuck the family. It's nice to be hanging
out with our work family.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Yeah, fuck the family.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Fuck your family. Fuck your family on Christmas, not actually
fuck them. Don't do that. Don't do that.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
I mean, play how you want to. Christmas traditions. What's
the Christmas tradition in the Wells household?
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Jerry, The Wells is just as just like a dry
Min's pie, as dry as possible, fruits of course. Actually,
the day starts with the waking up and the presents
in a pillow case. Back in the day at the
at the end of your beer from Santa and then
Santa's presence would be would be Sanda would come down
(01:06):
the chimney and put out a beer for Santa. A
beer and cookie a mince pie actually is what Santa
seems to like from our place. Santa would drink the
beer and some milk for the reindeer. Come, yeah, carrots
are range of too, actually, and then and then yeah,
opening of the presence in the morning, and then pretty
(01:28):
much just stress after that, getting ready for the family lunch,
which happens at about two thirty three, two thirty three
o'clock in the Wells household.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
What about and the Stuart family, Well, the Stuart family,
it's actually the Fleming family on my mom's side of
the family. We get up gifts, early doors, and then yeah,
straight into the stress of cooking for you know, ten people.
Back in the day, it was always Grandad about in
(01:59):
the vigie patch digging up some new spuds. Oh well
for the day, Yeah, for the day, straight up, straight
out the ground, yep, straight in there. I actually think
that was just a way for him to get out
of the house. He'll be out there, and the thing is,
it's a it's a great escape clause because no one
wants to get stuck helping him, so you're not gonna
(02:20):
go out there and ask him how he's going. And
then he also gets to duck out for a few hours.
But a backyard cricket will get a run as well.
I had a great backyard cricket yard at my grandparents place.
Me and the uncle will get out there and do that.
One year I got cricket bat and pads and everything,
so we had a bit of a nit session out there.
One year I accidentally hit Mutley over the head with
the criocket bat because Mutley chased.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
The ball when my uncle bowled it. Jeez, that was grim.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
And then we're into the salmon, ham, chicken spuds, and
then you're basically just gorging for the rest of the afternoon.
At about sort of two three, I'll get told off
for having had too many beers on Christmas. And that's
were the first of what I would say be several
arguments throughout the afternoon. And then at some point someone
will suggest putting love actually on for the evening, and
(03:09):
then and then yeah, to be honest, it genuinely is
a different person every year. And then well, at least
last year, once we run out of person one Blazz,
we had to over around to another Blaz.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
What's happening in the Ruder household today, Ruda.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Well, today, what we're doing is we just get the
in laws over from next door, because they live at
the back part of our house and so we'll be
doing some croissant.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Start the day with a croissant. Open prisons before that, Yes.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Yes, we will open the prisons because we've got a
nine and eleven year old just fucking rap it out
early doors, absolutely rab it.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
But then open the presence and then they play with
the prisons all day, which is quite good.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
And then they throw them out, Yeah, they throw them out.
It's good. At least get one day of present use.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
And you look at it and you're like, obviously though
a lot of the presents delivered by Santas, so I
definitely don't look at them and go, what a waste
of my fucking money. I definitely do not do anything
like that.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
You know what? Do you know what I bet you do?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
You know what your kids could get you for Christmas?
That I think would mean more than anything Christmas? Chit
a fucking gratitude.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Yeah, but.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Just hearing men and I I speak. Actually, I just
want to take you back to the late eighties and
early nineties. I remember being a kid and because of
course the Curtis side of my family, my mum's side
of the family, Cliff and them, well, Uncle Cliff or
second cousin, Cliff was more better known by myself. He
didn't come along to the family hungies that we used
to have. But it's funny. We used to have a
(04:43):
family a family hungy for Christmas, and the ads, the
uncles would gather around and they would play this little
joke on the kids because they smoked as well, and
they would put a bottle into the top of the
hungy and when the kids weren't looking, they would have
a little smoke and they would a little bit of
smoke inside the bottle and they'd say, oh, look, kids,
what happens is the smoke rises in and once there's
(05:06):
enough smoke inside the bottle, it will fall over. And
that's how we'll know that the honey is ready. And
of course that was all a lie, and we found
out later when we grew up. But yeah, I remember
a lot of cabbage, a lot of pork, and a
lot of good times with the extended Curtis Faner.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
You've just had to leave. You've be doing it now.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Doesn't Bellshekle turn up at your place and whack you
with sticks? Have you been naughty? Isn't that what happens
in Germany?
Speaker 5 (05:34):
I'm not naughty.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I wouldn't know. Okay, crampis or something, Hey crampis.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Never heard that Mark Clambert.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Does Mark clamber turn up with the oppers Black Pete?
Have you ever.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
You guys ever heard of black black Pete?
Speaker 1 (05:48):
And that's in the Netherlands. Black Pete is the dude
that cruises around with Saint Can delivers the presence. Yeah,
he climbs down the chimney.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
And he gets all covered in So is he covered
and so it?
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Or is he just an African slave? It's hard to
know exactly, but it's a great Dutch tradition dating back
five six hundred.
Speaker 5 (06:07):
Years has when I would say, putting a bit of
space between that, what we do on Christmas is for us,
Christmas is on the twenty fourth. In Germany. We don't
really do anything on the twenty fist.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Oh that's how you manage to get back here so quick.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
Yeah, it was pretty fast last night. Pretty fishent over
there and yeah, twenty fourth we do Christmas dinner altogether,
and then you have to eat dinner. And while you're
eating dinner, you have to look at the prisons under
the tree and you can't open them until dinner.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
It must be bruial for a cad Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Yeah, So when do the prisons get put under.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
The tree, Well, Santa Claus comes at Claus.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
When does Santa Claus arrive? Because I understand in Germany
he actually everyone has to leave the house at a
certain time and then Santa Claus comes at night. Is
that the way it works? Yep.
Speaker 5 (06:51):
So while you know, the adults are prefing dinner or whatever,
my grandparents would go out with me and my cousin
would go for a walk around the town and then
we'd come back in center. It was there sometimes even
even you would get center, like the real center was
at my house.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Wow. Really Yeah, it seems to ride at night in museum.
I suppose it's different time zone.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Yeah, well it's daylight till about eleven o'clock at night.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Yeah, that makes it always.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
It was the most brutal sleep as a kid in
New Zealand, because, particularly down south, the sun doesn't sit
to al almost midnight, and so you get sent to
bed and you can hear the adults still outside having
a gay old time.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Why are they gay?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Full of your tied chair obviously having other snogging under
the same sex things under the missiletop.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Actually, why matey, I wouldn't have thought this as much of.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
That rocking around the Christmas Street.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Well, there is a lot of it going on, and
it's often going on with family.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
But that's why we've got extra fingers. But but it's
just an excruciating sleep as a kid because one it's
thirty degrees too, it's daylight.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
You can hear everyone having fun and you know that
Santa's coming. Yeah, overnight.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
My grandparents' house had fireplaces in every room, so you're like,
whatever room I sleep in tonight, I'm going to see Center.
Santa's got an opportunity here.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
I kind of always feel like I was trying to
stay away from seeing Center because I feel like I
would ruin the magic.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
That's how I was as a kid.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Yeah, or he won't come until you aren't looking.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, and he don't.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
You want to give him a clear window to operate
because he because you have a lot of presents for
you quite like.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
The Christmas Eve thing. Yeah, it's nice, it's quite nice.
Speaker 5 (08:20):
It's also just because it's like dark all day almost
in Germany, so it's like you can't really do much
on a Christmas Day. Yeah, because it's winter, it's cold,
so you do like a nice warming dinner.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Yeah, well, a little bit of history for everybody, and
a little bit of entomology for for Christmas. It is
in fact a celeration of the winter solstice. That's where
it started. It's a it's a what's the name tradition,
the pagan for ye, pagan Pagan solstice tradition. So all
(08:51):
of the things which is borrowed by Christianity because they
knew that they couldn't take it away, because people loved this,
these particular traditions.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
But I thought, sweet baby Jesus, who was way in
a manger.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Yeah, nah, didn't work out that way. That was just
that I remember, sort of adapted for the European to
fit in with pagan celebrations that already existed around winter solstice.
So the whole idea of set being inside. Yeah, mistletoe
all stolen from pagan stuff. The present giving the coca cola?
(09:24):
Is he not part of?
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Was he not there for Jesus?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Well, people often well, how does Santra and Jesus? How
does it? Because Jesus doesn't deliver the presence nine pounds
three ounces. See, that was silly Jesus should have been
the person delivering the presence.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
And also how would you feel if you're one of
the three wise men who showed up with gold frankencents
and merh yeah and then didn't get shit? Yeah you know,
but that's why I sat next getting all the fun work.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
So weirdly in New Zealand where it's where it's an
outdoors the day, big nick energy in New Zealand, whereas
in Europe it's very much and everything's indoor focused.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
You know, if Jesus was a baby. Now like three
ways men to turn up and then what do they
give my fucking PlayStation? That's insane.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I quite like I quite like mirror.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Yeah you break mror guy.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah you guys smellt mirror.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
You're a moor Man.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I like mirror. It's a bit of ror. I'm wearing
a bit of mirror today. Actually that's a r m
U h R.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
I think it's in y r H Why it is mirror.
There may have been two hours in there, like when
your mirror.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Right, like when you're about Mr Chanese Chinese Seminal Christmas Carol, right,
Mr the Morman.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Moved.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
I feel like I feel like now is as good
a time as they need to take a break when
you do that, right, right, right, mirror right.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I wonder if anywhere else is doing a podcast on
Christmas Day. I can't see anyere else in the building. No,
quite like at this time of year.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Actually yes, I yeah, no one around, no one to
see what we are to.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
What about best Christmas presents you've ever got?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
I think?
Speaker 3 (11:18):
I think for me.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
The cricket gear, so I got like the full it
was cooker burrough bat pads, gloves.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Fuck, I was stoked.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
That's good prison And that sucked for everyone else because
they then had to come out and give me throwdowns
all day, which sucked.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
But I remember two Christmas presents, particularly one in nineteen
eighty four, so I would have been seven, and my
brother and I got a combined Christmas present of a
table tennis.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Table, oh dude, which is quite.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Of a deal in nineteen eighty four. Still have it?
Still got the nineteen eighty four table tennis table still working?
Is that in your garage? If I said, is at
a batch? Yeah, no, that one's a new one. And
the other one the year before that was a bike,
a red Line BMX, which I got like a chrome
(12:10):
red line B Mix. I had that bitch for about
ten years.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Pedal backwards to stop it.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
No, oh y hand, no years handbrakes. Well it's like
a just one year, but it was a it was
a damn good bike that. In fact, it still exists. Yeah,
still goes now from nineteen eighty three. Where is it? Ah? Okay,
great rusting away?
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Can I lower the tone with another harrowing story from
my childhood place? Absolutely? I got a B Mix one
year for Christmas.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I must have been four or five years old, and
it was one of those B mix with the breaks
when you go backwards.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Yeah, so you could do men as skids.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I went out there biking and beer feet and slipped
and my toe went into the fucking chain the front.
Holy crap, No, yeah, right in the thing. And so
my mom comes out, she freaks out. My toes stuck
between the cog and the fucking chain. Yeah, Christmas Day.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Christmas still got a scar on one s.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Lucky you used to yeah and so so, but she
freaked out. She was like, I've got to get this out.
You know, She's not going to wait for someone to
get there with bolt cutters. Or the Mbu lamps or
whatever called Enbu lamps, and so she tried to peddle
it backwards but because that's the breaks, so that didn't work.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Next portocor right the way around.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
You're joking me, but nah, And so yeah, I think
it was basically bone and tin and that was.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
That was left.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
But luckily I was young enough.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
That the you know it all sort of grew back
and and sprouted back again. But I have still to
this day like a phobia of biking and gender and
gendles will be a fish.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I remember as a cat, I was running on the
side of the house one day and on the grass,
and my dad had left you know those secret tours
but your whole them like this and they sort of
go like like the horizontal, yeah, And he left them
in the long ish grass and they was sitting for
some reason. I don't know why, but he'd been doing
some kind of gardening and I was running down the
(14:13):
side of our house on the grass and I stood
right on top of my big toe, on top of
that second tour thing on the end. It went through
my big toe and started just it had nudged up
the nail nail and I was like, and my parents
(14:34):
game came sort of over, and I was like, and
so they were still in there, like they were stuck
in six and they was stuck in there. And we
went into the into the bathroom which had a bath
and there was blood everything. It was so much blood,
and then got the dead hole on the blood and
just red.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
The blood was just reda.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
My dad couldn't My dad couldn't deal with it. And
my mum had pulled these things out. I'll never forget
the feeling when they were being extracted out a out
of my toes. She just pulled them out. Oh, so
much blood. It was horrible. I had I think I
probably still got a scar on the bottom of my
bleaked It was almost sliced my tongue in toe.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Oh my god, that was horrible. That's reminded me of
another one. That's what's not bad. It's pretty bad. I
don't know if this happened on Christmas or not. I'm
sure my family will listen to this and then correct me.
But my uncle came into the lounge and my mom
had just been sewing something and she'd finished sewing, was
sitting in this seat and she put the pin in
(15:39):
the arm.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Rest of the seat. She's just you know.
Speaker 6 (15:43):
And he comes sitting and he's full of the yule
tide chair and he sits down at his slams his
hands on the thing, and this needle just goes straight
through like crucified as.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
The story of Jesus.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
He's got the stick mart He sat down, stick marked.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Himself and then running back out there. Oh man, it's a.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Great time for your tied injuries, isn't it. We made
a very ropey.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Excuse the pun tire swing out of a tree in
the backyard, run yere, and my dad was pushing me and.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
On the little kids.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I'm like, whoa, push me higher and high, and then
he gave me a mighty heave and the rope just
snapped right half and I went flying into a bush
with the tire.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Yeah we have with the tire. Oh man. Yeah, so
I don't know, stay safe out there, Yeah safe.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
If we could go back in time and we were
on the radio last Friday in City of the Big
Show having to do it, we could have done Christmas injuries.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Yeah, there's a topic, so many of them. Yeah, people
often tied this time of year. That's the other thing.
So they've just been through a full year of work
and more likely to have a fall crap.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Another Christmas one, again involving my uncle, was he got
a new golf club.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
It was a widge.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
We play this game. It's a brilliant move of unclemanship
from him. Where we'd go in the backyard. We called
it gidget and it was basically he would just sit
there and chip golf balls to me and I would
catch them. And I loved it and felt like slip
fielding practice. Well, one day he was practicing a new
flop shot he was trying to trying to invent, and
(17:16):
as he wound up for the flop shot, I stood
on a prickle and looked down right a thinned one
and have me ride in the bicyle. And then he
went into full damage controller, not going to.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Like what do you want? What do you need? Do
you want chocolate?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
You know?
Speaker 3 (17:33):
How do I how do I bribe you out of
this one?
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Yeah? All right, Well, Merry Christmas everyone, Yeah, stay safe, Yeah,
have a lovely day. Season's going to go start the honey.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
Everywhere you go.
Speaker 6 (17:53):
Take a look at the five and ten
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