Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome along to the Unnamed podcast, but we didn't stay.
The fourth of December twenty twenty four, meshes here as
always O Cap and Joey Wheeler joins us.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Too great to be here, Fellas.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Who are you texting at the moment, Joe Sir John Coohan,
Sir John, Yeah, just tixting, Sir John.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
The surf park out at dairy Flat.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Let's just say up north, Yeah, up North, dairy flat.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Does that sound right?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Yeah, dairy fla.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Dairy flatter, du Yeah. Sir John's involved in what would
you call that? A group that are putting it together
to build this magnificent surf park just out of Auckland,
about forty minutes out of Auckland, Jerry, and they've just
broken dir it today. They are under their work. I
think it's it's something like it's over one hundred million
(00:48):
dollar project.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
It's a messive. It's that huge everywhere around the world
that they are because surfing's just getting I mean, surfing
has always been popular, but it's getting more and more
and more populous because such a great activity.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Isn't it. And I've been to one in Melbourne, the
surf park. There not much of a surfer. But man,
it was cool for I think you do an our
session and you catch I don't know, it's something like
maybe ten waves in that our session, So get good
bang for your buck. Yeah, because you could sit out
obviously in the in the big Blue you'd be sitting
(01:20):
out there for ours and maybe catch ten waves.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Well, that's the thing. And of course you've got weather
conditions to consider all the time, which as part of
the reason why surfing is so cool is because you
can't catch the waves all the time. So therefore sometimes
there are times when there's no waves unless you live
somewhere where there are constantly waves. But even then the
waves are better sometimes than other times. That's part of
the attraction. But this I understand. There's some accommodation that's
(01:43):
with it as well.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Yeah, and it's a huge facility. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
People will come from all over the place, and I
know the ones. There's one Kelly Slater opened overseas and
I feel like it's in Texas, It's somewhere, it's somewhere
in the States.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Ridiculously massive, isn't it massive?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
So will be huge, this is this will be this
will be really really good for Auckland Auckland's good though,
if you surf, Auckland's a good place to live because
you've got obviously, you don't have to go far north
to Tiardai, it's an hour north. You can go forty
minutes to Piha. You can go to the Coramandle that's
an hour away. So you've got both the west and
(02:21):
the east coast which is totally accessible.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
But if you're a gumby like myself on a surfboard
and you don't want to drown, it's probably a good
option go into a surf park.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Yeah, yeah, probably, But I mean there's no confidence up
these waves, like you know, it's sometimes not generally a mission,
but is not good for it's good for stopping swell
coming through there. The white matar not a great place
to catchways, But if you go up to aut hour
and sometimes you know, sometimes Takapuna really yeah, you'll get
(02:52):
a wave and Tackapona every now and then they're nice.
You're totally off the reef there in the Northeastwell, I.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Think you know a lot about waves, Jerry.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
You My partner surfs and my son and daughter both
surfice and they are right into it and you're just mate.
I tried. I seriously, I've tried, and everyone goes, why
don't you come on? You should I've tried because he's
My friends do it. Most of them is surfing all
their lives. And I was so shit. I mean, nor
(03:21):
could you get up? Nah? When I got up, I
immediately went over and and because you've got to spring up,
that's a big part of it, and to do that
requires a little bit of dynamic energy. I don't have
that dynamic and g I mean, if you see me
get up off the floor, we watched us. Okay, this
is me getting up.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
He's lying down, Jerry's down on the ground, He's getting Wow,
that was as quick as you could do it. Yeah,
that's problematic when you're a surfer.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
So we're surfing. You've got to go from there, and
then you've got to go like that and knees baring
at the moment, there's no way even just doing that
hit my knee. So yeah, you just watch it and
getting your.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Speedos on the on the beach and work on that
magnificent ten of yours.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Well, this is the thing I'm happy to watch. I
like I like watching other people's surf and I like
I like sitting on a beach, love a beach, love
going for a swim, love having a bit of a
body surf. Yeah, very happy to do all those things.
But surfing no, not for me, sadly because it looks
like a lot of fun, and also it's so good
for you. You look at the people who surf, you
(04:31):
know every day. You look at their rags. Yeah, great rags.
Even my friends in a massive piss heads still got
good rigs from surfings. All that pedling get out, yeah,
go through the chests, good, through the shoulders, pools out wide.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Through the pictorial region.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Widens you out through there.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
The lads from the paddling.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Yeah, the lads. And and also that pedal fitness. You
know you get fit from peddling. Yeah. So so be
good to talk to sir j just.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
See how progress is. Yeah, man, we talk about What
else do you want to talk about with him?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
I'd quite like to ask him a couple of things. Actually,
has he considered a wet t shirt competition for the
opening of the wave pool. That would be something that
I'd like to ask him about. I think that that
is something that maybe we should.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Get on board with.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Here Alreadio Hadecki something that'll be the first thing to
ask him as JK, have you thought about a wet
t shirt camp to get things underway?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Yeah? Well we we historically here at Radio Hack. You
were right behind them. We used to have them at
the po. Yeah, that's right. Every year the radio hadicky
wet t shirt competition.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
The birthday was that to celebrate the eighth today? Could
we do it to celebrate that a week to shoot COMPLI.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Well, I reckon that would have been for the definitely
for the twentieth.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
But do you know what, like I can't imagine this
will Joey, and it might be a lot for you
to get hit around as well. But there was once
upon a time where they were throwing a wet T
shirt competition away like it was a fucking sasogism, you know,
like that. There was once upon a time where a
wet T shirt competition was just you know, you wouldn't
even raise an eyebrow to competition. And this is our times.
It's changed and I want to bring those times back.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
We ever thought about a wirefront competition here on radio
I think a set of white wire fronts. Yeah, wife front.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Competition we have thought about this, yes, because we said,
what you know, wet t shirt kind of tends itself
towards the years women, and then I think the wife
front maybe tends itself towards the boys. So then you've
got something for the mums and the dads that swing
either way, like something everyone.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yeah, why not to bring outside down Pineapple than welcome.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
I'm pretty sure here Radio we did used to run
the the Wed Andy's competition as well as the Wed
two shirt at the time.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
I'm pretty sure. Yeah, there's a new festival coming out
this year. Isn't there where you can now go nude?
That's a slight side step in conversation, but it felt
like it was in a similar.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
It's not a carnival cruisers.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
No, it's not. No, it's not. I just saw an
article about it yesterday that they bring back the nude festival.
I can't tell you the name off the top of
my head, but the option is now to be fully nude,
and you're allowed to.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Do so if you wouldn't have done some research on that.
I just think it'll be a great for our listeners. Obviously,
a great potential Christmas gift, sure, alongside the Morgan pen
glow stack.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Wand glow wand that one's going to be getting some
action down south. I think over this Christmas period down
and then some clear sort of way long goat.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Yeah, I've got a real long goat.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Oh bet you do wide and long?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah? Really? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Your size?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
She there was the million dollar the million dollar spot,
didn't you? So you get that wander. I'm just sort
of trying to in my head. Now are you are
you lying down on your back and obviously trying to
bring your legs up, your legs all the kimbo, the
goat stroke, the goat with the wand what are you?
Are you squatting over there? What are you doing here?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
What are you doing? What are you doing?
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Ye? Naked in the Trees. That's the name of the
festival right before you, okay, Naked Naked in the Trees
That runs from the fourteenth to sixteenth of feb twenty
twenty five. Fellas, where is it? A lot of questions
about Naked in the Trees.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
To really on the fourteenth of floody February.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
As a Southland can you help with my geography?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Yeah? Sure, Toui is just just north of the central Plateau.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
So you go, you're.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Heading down King Country, King Country, yep, k K.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Roosters down in the King Country just south of Tekwitz.
The Meads family, I think they were the founding fathers,
Colin and his and his cousin stand of the what
was it in the trees?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Naked in the trees, in the trees and that makes sense?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Big exhibitionists, I mean, get this up here.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Up to eight hundred people will converge on the Tomanui
site for what is described as a unique celebration, design,
communication and exploration.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
So is there music or what is it? Not toos
just volleyball and tennis wearing wearing you know, shoes and socks.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Well, the location is breathtaking because it's two hundred acres
of horse training ground and it's absolutely stunning. Sins this
one person that's organizing it.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
There's some nice farming country through Thome and the Street family.
Not Tony Nigel used to go to We're going to
college it with me. He's he's a tom and annoy boy.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Kicking around. Look he does big windsocker.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
I spend a lot of time, you know, naked in
the shower with Worth Old Knight Street and look, he
could certainly he could perform aptly at a festival like this.
But I mean my concern is it's cold at night,
even in Februry.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
But there's no judgment in Tom that Annoy. That's what
you don't. That's what's different about to Annoy and Oakland,
for example, is because I don't think people are focusing
on the down stairs. If I look down and to
Anu and notice you're running a salty cash in the
middle of the dance floor of three kIPS of MDM major,
I don't.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
That's the other thing. Jeez, you're going to shrivel up
on the on the gear.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
That's another good point, actually, right, I operating, So here
you go, boys, this is what's going on.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
So I need to mix it up with a little
a little blue to keep some blood in it. No,
just take the wand imagine there'd be a lot of
bonfires floating around.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Does it have a glow stick? I mean it's a
it's the glow what's it called the glow Wand does
it have a does it have a throbbing sort of
has it got a light on it?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Change the setting, wasn't it? She got a lot more
use out of it obviously, I just was the receiver
of it.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
She comment how to swing the wand was the one
was pretty kind of intuitive. Jury just had a power
button and then you turn that on and then so
if you held it down for a few seconds, that
would turn it on. And then if you just tap it,
it would change through the modes. And then it had
it upwards and the downwards like a volume rocker, and
that was you know, your intensity. Okay, Yeah, so that's
(10:53):
what was operating there on the globe.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
It was bigger than what I thought it was going
to be.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
I've heard that before, and I think Morgan's probably heard
that before as well. But it was large, wasn't it.
I'd say upwards of a foot and a half.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, it wasn't meant to go in apparently if it was.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
A foot and a half just meant to work the glitorious.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
It's meant to work around the outside there.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
So boys, the pleasure playground you heard of that?
Speaker 1 (11:14):
No?
Speaker 3 (11:14):
No, well, that's that's the big draw card. Naked in
the trees apparently, the pleasure playground.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
What's that?
Speaker 3 (11:19):
The pleasure playground, you might be asking, Well, a safe
zone with a bunch of funny paradis toys that you
can have fun with.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
It's too much fun on that sentence, Yeah, there was.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
It's yeah, I don't trust that. It's like when your
parents are your parents are trying to take you somewhere
and you go and they keep telling you how much
fun it's going to be, and here I hang on.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
It's too many fun.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
So read that sentence again.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Ah, the pleasure playground is a safe zone with a
bunch of funny paradas toys that you can have fun with.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Now you can't say fun twice in that sentence. It's
just that that doesn't work. Okay, okay, So apart from
poor grammar, what else is going on with the Well,
make it on the trees, I said, it's a New
Zealand Herald article that you're reading there.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Yes, that's right. There's also a liberation stage, Jerry yep ye,
I think that's what. It's probably interesting.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Why tone and Annui. It's not a place I would
think of when I think six parties. It's a it's
a not a sixy place, Tome.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
I don't know where would where would you think the
party would be appropriate? Somewhere?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Actually, before you answer that, can we take a break
and came back with the answer, Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Welcome back. Look when I think sixy places, I think
I think somewhere are slightly north of Auckland. I think
it's hard to not think sure, is it?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I mean Manga Toroto is a good it's a good
fun at their heads. Ka, Okay, I heard there's a
big Russell Russell. I can russell the Hellhold of the
Pacific formerly the hell Hole of the Pacific now just
a weird little old kind of colonial sort of a
(13:07):
vibe to it. Pie here okay, Stewart Art apparently, but
large swinging community in Stuart Island.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
It doesn't surprise me.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Be careful, well, you know, you might run into a
situation where you know, I haven't. Last time you said
think about thinking about their sexual orientation.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Of Gore, they still Core doesn't. Core doesn't strike me
as being a particularly sixty place missionary and Gore my
parents light self missionary. My parents live down there at
the moment, we're not exactly there, but there's you know things,
I've got sixty now that I know, sixy Saucy Susie
and but Gordia down there.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
What that's not They don't do things lots. No, No,
it hasn't.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
It's not light self missionary.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
No, I think I think it is exactly whatever.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
We all know that that's not what's happening there.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yeah, Big Gordy actually apologize, actually proposed, actually proposed to
my mother during the sports news. Well, this is the
story that they tell. I don't know how chill it is.
But my father has always my mum has always been
so upset with my father because apparently after a couple
of years they were together watching that they're watching the
(14:21):
sports news, and there was an athlete getting married, and
then you looked at mom and said, shall we should
we get married then? Or what? Oh, that's not a proposal?
Was that from Big Gordy then? But and then sixty
sorry my mom.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yeah, that's her proper name, call her by her proper name.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
My mother. My mother said all right then, and then
they were married. So I don't know if from the
sparks when't exactly flying. So I don't who was doing
the sports news.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Was it Jeremy Coney?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
What year was this? Ninety nine?
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Might have been Viccy.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
I never asked, And I was conceived during a let
go through to the keeper. I was never and you
know I was conceived during a decare yeah, talkback situation.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Where you're a hate baby made after the ninety nine
World Cup loss to France.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
But the proposal I'm unsure about to marry.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Well, people listening to married because sports talk program and
people are calling up and hating on the fact we
had a female prime minister and that was the reason
we lost the World Cup. Yes, those days, we used
to lose the World Cup, even though we'd get knocked
down in the semi final. It was our world Cup
to lose, rather than it was not our World Cup
to wine. Remember that we used to lose the World Cup,
(15:32):
always lost the World Cup. They were the only country.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Other countries.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Yeah, say, we still kind of feel that way we lose.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
The World Cup. I reckon, we've won it enough now
and we know how hard it is to was.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
We lost the World Cup? You reckon, we lost it.
We lost the final, So you lost the World Cup.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
That felt like we lost the World Cup.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
You're in the final.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
I agree with you on that.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
You're right. You're right, Jerry, if you're in anything less
than a final, you haven't lost the World Cup.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
No, we didn't get in the final for bloody years.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah, jeez, we were terrible through it. We got the yips,
you remember, Yeah, they did that when they did that,
when they pulled all the all blacks out of super
Area and made them just train.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
And in two thousand and seven or something, what was
that one?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah, that was the seven Whorl Cup and we got
bailed out by the Frogs.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
And the quarters.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
All the boys only played about four rounds of Super
Ugby before they went over there, right, craziness.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, that was that.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
That was the That was the Henry Smith Henson and
then somehow they survived yep, that review, remember, because they
all stuck together, banded together, the three of them, and
came up with a great plan and obviously the rest
of this history. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Eleven at home, Yeah what a I mean that Graham
Henry always talks about what a resounding victory that was
by one point by France, And the difference between that
one wobbly cack from beaver Donald is the difference between
and being a hero and being hated. Because measue, if
they'd lost two thousand and seven and then two thousand
eleven at home, people would have hated him.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Oh, I hated him and now he's just Ted.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, people love him.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
What are you up to? That's good?
Speaker 1 (17:17):
That's good.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
Down the white white baby, that's a good. She got
about thirteen pound.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Thank some of that.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
The room three three five, the heritage joke and you're
playing in the final.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Used to ring good, Joey, that's the best impersonation I've
ever heard. That's a good. Yeah, that's a good one.
Thank you. That's a good one.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Yeah. I used to ring tied, So I did that.
I did that. I can't remember when I did it.
Maybe we had a quarter or something like that and
you had to do an impersonation. I did the Beaver
Donald phone call from Ted and bender Smith just saw
he just thinks that's sucking. One of the great gags.
So every ind of season he'd be like ring tied
on a Sunday afternomen where absolutely sup to our eyeballs
(18:06):
were ringed. Tad and I'd deliver the speech top every
year consistently for about three or four years, and Tid's credit.
Every year he'd answer my call and Joey, what are
he up to? We're back again to deliver on the steek.
One year he was was funny.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
Just every year, Joey is getting better.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
To say that loser. He gave it the old I'm
delivering a time and he pulls the phone away.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
It's like.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I've got the chicken roast on. We're sitting in the
morning to deemn, not about and he's just giving.
Speaker 4 (18:53):
It the ray.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I've got the chicken roast on. Oh my lost it?
He is on, My, you're a good tid.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
I think, what did that man sound like?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Angry?
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Because people always talk about I know people always talk
about the Ted spray for the head.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Did he expel you?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
This is no, he didn't. He didn't expel me. But
he was the head master of Kelston, not Aukland Grammat.
He taught at Auckland Grammar and then he went to Kelston.
But there's a fascinating thing that's happened, and it's between
John Graham, Sir John Graham, who was the head master
of Gramma when I was there, Ted who was the
(19:33):
head master of Kelston, and a former head master of mine,
Steve Cole. Now those three were great friends. They had
a relationship. Ted and Sir John Graham had a relationship
because Ted looked up to Sir John and Sir John
was captain of the All Blacks. Yeah, and then a
great Auckland Grammer headmaster now John Graham spoke like this.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
He had a particular way speaking like this, not that
far away from Tid, I think Tid. And then Steve Cole,
who is my headmaster, who is the youngest of all
of them, he also spoke like this. They all speak
the same in a sort of a way. It's it's
just a it's a this is how Steve Carl speaks.
(20:18):
He'd be like, you're right, for Sady, it's the same.
They have the same way of clipped way of speaking
at a time. Sometimes you'll say something and you make
sure that you say exactly.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
They have the same cadence. Quite weird, Yeah, it's quite weird.
I had a great Tidd story. We were walking the
able Tessman and I know Tied from around the traps,
you know, just minim a few times. And my mum
knows Raywan very well from Nitbull, and so Tidd and
(20:55):
Raywen were walking the track Testman Testament and when we
were there and he said, would you like to join
us for would you like to join us for dinner?
And I tell you and I said that'd be great.
So we sat there and Holy but Jesus, the guy
can drink red wine. I consider myself I can hold
(21:18):
my own.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
You just ted tip, you up.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Nailed me and just going strong. The stories were just sensational.
I was just like, I can't remember any of it
because I was way too wasted. But I was like,
I wish I could put a recorder on this with
my with my eyes and I could play back some
of these stories. They were just so good. But him
and Raywan, what a double act. They just they're so
good together. They finished each other's stories and sentences and
(21:46):
you forgot.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
That's you know, yeah, it's just magnificent woman love.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
But yeah, god, it was good. But I think he'd
gone through I think he struggled. That these kids had
put him up in the in the lodge, which was
where we were doing, because they were all walking the
Able Testment together, and he ended up. Yeah, I think
he's I don't think it was. It was a bit poorly.
(22:13):
He wasn't going through a good patch. But then don't
worry about getting on the red wine. Get straight back
into that. And he sorted himself out of the next
day as good as gold. He's better for it. I
think maybe he hadn't any red wine had been part
of the problem. But great guy, jeez, such good company.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
And will do that to you sort you're right out.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Yeah, yeah, anyway. Oh that's a great impersonation, though, Joey, Seriously,
that's the best one because it's you're right, slightly softer,
there's a softness to it. Yeah, which is very good.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Where we give him a right at some stage, I'll
deliver it to him again.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Oh, that'd be great.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
That's a great shower.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
And also someone who likes an impersonation's big enough to
enjoy someone impersonating them. That's that's always has a sad
about someone, especially as.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
A surge, this drunken these drunken idiots on their end
of year do day three ten fifteen, big bottles of
spaces deep. Yeah, it's pretty punishing on a Sunday evening,
and these idiots, and he picks up every year.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
He's a people person though, he likes he loves it.
He loves it. He loves the boys, he loves being
around the boys. Good on him, great Newsyalander, great Henry,
good on him. Alright, alright, he