Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
It's busy.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
You've got a problem worth how I did that?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Well, I don't have a problem with how you did it.
I guess that I foresaw a problem the conclave the
other day the Manjuri Facebook discussion group, I think you
did and this is just me paraphrasing you in let's
get busy. Oh yeah, and a few people said disappointing
from you, Matt Heath. And so it wasn't for me
(00:51):
that I was disappointed. It was just the reaction that
may come out later on the conclave. Yeah, okay, Well
the thing is.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Stayed up very late watching Hayden Wild compete, and actually
I watched both both triathlons, both the woman's and the men's.
The woman's triathlon was a carnage with these just people
slipping off their bikes constantly on the on the cobbles,
on the wet cobbles. Man, I tell you something about
a a scantily clad female who's just done a mess
(01:22):
of swim getting on a bike and then heading the pavement. Hard,
horrible to watch.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Discussing is anything? Do you remember I'm a short matte.
You were at the type of person to peruse around
neighborhoods on your bike is again, do you remember that
if you came off your bike, if you an assover
tit on a bike, the type of grays you'd get horrible,
was fucking awful. Yeah, like I would stay with you
for months.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Yeah. I used to ride my friend Davy Feater's home
on the handlebars of my bike.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
I thought, you're gonna say you rode Harmeme.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
No, okay, I didn't ride harm Hume, but at home
I was just thinking about that. That was a crazy way
to double. You used to double on the handlebars.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Yeah, I never really got into that. I had the bike.
Pe was more of the bike. The oh yeah yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah, jump on the black pigs and hold the shoulders.
So we're double mate's home on the on the handlebars.
You get home from Malory Hill Primary School and when
you went over, because we'd go over a number of
times down Loathing and Loathian Street, it was cooled and.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
You'd go over the top because you would. You were
then set to go over the handlebars because there's so
much weight in the front. So if anything happened at all,
you put the brakes on. You put the front brake on.
Anything all you're over the handle bus and then so
you know, your mate would land on the ground you
crashed down on them, and then you both slide down
the road and graze yourself up. At one point I
slid right down the road and I reached down I
could put my finger right into my knee to touch
(02:38):
on knee camp.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah, my dad being a doctor, he buddy turned up.
He was just having to be driving home from work.
I don't always doing driving around at that time. He's
never home till late normally, and he he just picked
picked me up, went me. I went home and just
sewed my leg up, sowed my with nothing, just put
a bit of dedle on it, got the needle in,
three it out and sewed it up.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Fuck the disinfected that was quiet after a graze on
a road was just rank. And then your palms, do
you remember, like your palms would be able to stop
the fall with your hands, and your hands will be
grazed up.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
You know. I used to think that, like gloves are
kind of almost more important than a helmet on a bike,
because you want to you want to feel comfortable getting
your hands down in front of your face as best
you can when you come off right and yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
With gloves you just you know, your sacrifice of wrest
for a head. I think all day, all day, all day.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Did you did you say that you ripped your knee
open on a road?
Speaker 4 (03:34):
Was it?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah? On loathi in street.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Have you still got a scar from there?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Yeah? I do. I've still got like a smile scar
on my on my knee.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
What knee is that?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
That's on my left knee. I've got one on my right, Yeah,
and that's from a bike accident. I was going down
a driveway and way he and it was like a
real gravel driveway, and I realized I was taking the
corner far too fast and I had a split sick
an option. I could put on the brakes and slam
my bike and then slam into the gravel, or I
could go into a dish. I chose putting on the brakes.
(04:04):
Absolutely ripped my knee open. My scar looks a little
bit like the North Island of New Zealand, and it
sort of flapped around a little bit and some personally,
but like a vagina.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Then I guess question for you kind of on an angle?
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little bit, and you'd got taken
to A and E and they had they had to
clean it up. They had to inject four times into
the open wound because they really had to get in
there and like a vagina.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
Then, speaking to be very we're focusing on just falling
coming over your bike, mate. Sorry, I know not everything
need to be like a vagina.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Sorry speaking of a bit like a vagina.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
The one thing that really sticks with me through that
was because when they were injecting my open wound, I
screamed quite heartily and the nurse.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
So what but like a vagina? Then no, no.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
To my mum, actually grow up. Okay, your daughter's doing
really well.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I used to have really long here when I was
growing up. I grew it really long, really young, and
I'd often be mistaken.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
For a girl.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Oh really, because I'd be with my three sisters and
they just see three and then they see another long
haired one and they go, what lovely girls you've gotten?
Fuck off? I'm a four year old boy. I'm a
four year old boy.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
It is an aggressive four year old telling an adult
to fuck off.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
To shove it up your fucking ass.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
And then you well that means she's an aggressive four
year old.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
You were, Yeah, it was okay, what else? What else?
Speaker 4 (05:35):
What else we talking about today? Of course, by the way,
first of August today, which means it is the year, No,
the month of our lord Augustus month, is it Augustus
Augustus gloop Augusta said something. Do you guys want some
fun facts about the month of August? Yeah, Susan's up
before the podcast and I've prepared these. August was once
(05:55):
the sixth month of the year. In the original ten
month Roman calendar, the month went by the name of
its excuse me, six to us, meaning the sixth month
in Latin. There you go. He used to be the
sixth month, apparently August.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah, because it's named after because Augustine, isn't it.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Not Augustus, Augustus, Gaius Caesar, Augustus Augustus.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
So did the Roman calendar only have ten months?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yeah, that's why you got October but it's eight, but
it's the teenth month. You've got November, which is eleventh,
but nine. So they just shoved some in the middle
because they realized it wasn't working out.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
It wasn't working out at all. Yeah, I mean August
has also changed.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
They should they should have named it after Augustine, not
a man. They were quite sexist, those Romans, they were.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
They were male focused.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Little decks, too small decks on their statues, really little.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Do you know what that is?
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Don't I do?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
But I want to see if our knowledge matches, because
often people know things and they're two different things, and
then you know, when someone contradicts, you're like, I don't
even know whether that's why correct, why or where I
know it from. It was considered impolite to make them,
you know, like as a statue and to put a
normal sized schlong on us. It just was a real statement.
(07:10):
You had to paint it up. So so they just
do like something small, so it didn't become such a
big deal because if you think about it, you've got
the statue and you just put a mess, you know,
because I imagine a lot of those Roman emperors, and
I know Marcus Ralius was running an apsolute dog roll.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
You can't tell me that go was not or run
at least eight.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
No, yeah, yeah, absolutely, although there aren't any nude statues
of him. Is that one a very famous one? On
the horse? I actually was at the Ashmolean Museum in Oxford,
at the last year, and they've got a statue of
Marcus Ralius in there, and it's just a bust though
I don't mean boobs, just as rat.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
It's just the top just as how did you know
it was his? It's incredible.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
It just was so stoic where I stood there in
the middle of the shmoling.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
So that things up with my information, because what I'd
heard as well is like if you had a an
erek penis or a large penis, the idea of being
sexually deviant was a sign of a maturity, and yeah,
you know you didn't want your leaders to be immature
or show anything like that. You didn't want to pack
them in a sexual light because they were leaders and
you know that you needed them to do this type
of thing. That's what i'd heard.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Does that does that line up with Does that line
up with what your understanding? Mate?
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I have heard that, but I've also heard something along
the lines of that, like you were looked at in
a bitter light if you had a smaller willy.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Oh, you see, that's what I kind.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Of list of a barbarian. Oh is that what it was?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Or maybe it was just like some kang had a
really small willy, and so you.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Started to spring the room with it. Take me back
to the era where your credibility is being a small downstairs, right,
take me from a man out of time.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Do you know what we.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Should do, fellas is we should find someone Actually, maybe
the bespoken Doggies can help us out here, anyone that
works in the world of kind of statue making something
like that. Maybe we should get We could erect a
couple of four exactly. Maybe bust is fine, but I
prefer full body. Yeah, and look statues maybe along the
wall here in the studio. I think it'd be a
fantastic thing to have.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, Well, should we come back in a second with
plans around that, because I think it's interesting that there's
no one that can do really kick our statues anymore.
And I've got a problem with it with the Michael
Jones statue at Eden Park, all right, I want to
bring that up next.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
Is it the tiny downstairs and the Michael Jones statue
that upsets you?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
No, I just feel like it was going to fall over.
Have you've seen that he's connected by the ball to
the statue. Yeah, So I just I find things like
that disturbing just I know what you mean, it's going
to fall over.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Yeah, it's great. It's a great statue. But I just
think he needs to be connected at the downstairs to
the plunth, if you know what I mean, rather than
at that end.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
You'd like to see the downstairs being attached to the plunth.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yeah, well just in the same gosh, why have I
never seen this before? Do you see what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
He's like flying through the air. Yeah, he's got Yeah,
that's very cleverly done. He's got the ball on a
plinth and then he's full horizontal Michael Jones. And in fact,
ironically some of the pictures here Michael Jones is holding
the ball that Michael Jones's statue is holding.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah, that's interesting. It's a very super MANI pose. Yeah,
but you know what I'm saying, it's you feel like
it's going to break off or someone's going to hang
off it and break it. Yeah, you know that. I
just worry about that.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Also, a fanom Michael Jones also opens it up to
dodgy photos like people going underneath and being like ah,
yeah gross, yeah, yeah, I know I wouldn't do something
like that.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
We'll do that.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Was that based on an actual try that he scored
that action or was it just something that people kind
of associated with him diving in the corner.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Standing more than three meters high and four point two
meters that's how big it is, Awkland to artist Natalie
Stammela's bronze sculpture of Michael Jones diving across the try
line at the inaugural nineteen eighty seven Rugby Wild Cups.
So you're right, you're right, young man was opened by
(11:07):
Sir Brian the whore.
Speaker 4 (11:09):
No that's no, yeah, no, it's confusing you. Yeah. Look,
I know you've got French in your mind at the
moment in the parents' Olympics, but it's not the horse.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Was that way that happened? Yeah, Brian? Yeah, so standing
more than three meters high and four point two meters long,
you see, Yeah, three high, four point two meters long.
That's why I fear it will fall over if someone's
swings on it.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Sutures one hundred and fifty greater than life size and
ways close to one tom, which is approximately three times
the combined weight of the current New Zealand rugby team's
food pack. Okay, interesting stats. There was erected in twenty
eleven that statue. So it used to be that if
you were awesome, you'd get a statue. But what do
you guys feel about blanket man getting a statue in Wellington?
Speaker 4 (11:53):
Who's sorry?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I don't bank. It was a man that used to
sort of lie on the street under a blanket sometimes.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
So he was homeless masturbated.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
There was there was talk about it, and people point
out we used to celebrate amazing people like Ian Joan
Man statue.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
Yeah, see what blanket man's up in now? So he's
no longer with us and he passed and they decided
to erect a statue.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Maybe they didn't make a blanket man's statue. There's some
man statue.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
It would have been a great statue if there's a
bit of a dancing Donner situation going on on that statue.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah, Ben Hanah blanket memorial as a symbol of So
I don't think it actually got done in the end, okay,
rustling up false.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
I think when people tend to mention public masturbation, especially
in Wellington, people are going to go, you know what,
maybe let's not that statue.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
My thing with being a blanket man with a blanky
fuck could you pick a more rough city to do
that than Wellington? So you weren't familiar a blank man
at all. He was kind of one of those you know,
local street people that unidrid up here. We had ready
radio situation.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
Okay, bit of a cult hero.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Do you think that at one point someone through blanket
Man the absolute live all can't beat Wellington a good day?
And he's like, oh that sounds good, yeah, and along
he goes with his blanket and then unfortunately Wellington happened.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
That's right, so he was living in FuG a bloody
warmers ship. You can't be Welling a good day because
he got his blanket.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Oh FUCKU.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Gotta get down there.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
I mean disappointing. Jesus, no offense. I love Wellington. Keep
a street goes hard.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Speaking of blanket Man. After the Pie Awards, we all
got what did you do with your blanket? The Pirewards
we all got a free blank was the oddest thing.
So we went to an awards and we all got
a blanket. Like it was a huge awards cremony. So
how many people just say they're five six hundred at
least it was a huge night of nights, beautiful, beautiful
set up, so much money spent. Jimmy Corbett fantastic host,
(13:57):
celebrating the best piemakers in the country. Was such a
wholesome experienced the theme aterually. Yeah, and we all left
with the blanket on the.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Back of our chair. There was like this blanket and
Corbett and ounce halfway through. Hey, everybody, just so you
know that blankets for you.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
So my girlfriend was thoroughly confused when I came home
and I had a blanket. She felt maybe I'd brokento
an orphanage in stolen someone's blanket, or I don't think
I've ever come home with a blanket before. My My
girlfriend was the same with a blanket.
Speaker 4 (14:25):
My girlfriend was the same. I come home a little
bit drank, yeah, with a blanket in hand.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
And she couldn't accept the answer that I just got
it at the Pilewars. No, you didn't just get it
at the.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Made up You have a blanket, a blanket from the
pile worms.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
I got given to us at the pilewar.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Why would you get given a blanket? Was it outside?
I was inside? Was that the Grand Millennium Hotel?
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Because men, men are stupid on the on the wheez,
aren't they They all go out and they might see
something and they go, I'm just gonna I'm just gonna
take that and I'll take it home. Road signs, road cones,
McDonald's trays, anything, well, just any I'm surprised I want
some of that.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Me and my mate Kaine Sullivan, we spent when we
were first year at varsity in nineteen and we spent
I think it was we worked out. We spent four
and a half hours carrying a bunch of road signs,
many of them flashing and road cones and robots and
putting them in the basement of our flat, which had
a door that was opened up, and we just kept
(15:23):
going about the last thing we do. We got followed
at home by the police and we didn't see them
behind us because we're fucking steaming, we're drinking. I don't know.
It was just there was a lot of mohey, actually
to get it, get all that stuff there. And then
the police come around. They go, have you guys been
you the guys that have been stealing all the road
cones and road signs? You know that's freaking dams.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
No.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Meanwhile, it's a fucking full Christmas tree situation of the
flashing lights because they're locked, you couldn't turn them on
off and on, just flashing up a storm. But back
then in Janeta and there was just sort of good,
honest community policing. It's like, just put it back. We
spent another four hour was putting it all.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
That's a very good point. I remember quite a few,
even in my early kind of doings with the police
in New Zealand, which was only two thousands, there was
so much more common common sense police and going on.
It was like you fucking the disappointment of a cop
looking at you, Like riding without a helmet or something
on a bike, just like, mate, take your home and
put a helmet on, your little shit.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
I was once riding my bike without a helmet on
and Dunedin and this police car pull up beside me
and said why haven't you got a helmet? And I said,
because I have a head of steel. I was quite
stoned at.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
The time, and so oh, it's an interesting technical So I.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Went into the bottlestore and when it came out, there
was four police cars waiting. This was an overreaction from
the police waiting for me on the other side.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Oh my god, this is what happened. This is like
what happened at the movie theater last night.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
And yeah, it was just a huge incident. When I
came out, I thought, was there were an active shor
something like that. It's because I've made my I have
a head of steel stone comment as I.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Went into the home that was thing that you're about
it and they gave me a gave me.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
A seventy dollar ticket, and I responded, that is fine.
I am but a millionaire. This is nothing to me.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
Well, were you off the back of wearing Hamlet? Reading Hamlet?
He sounded like Jason Hoyt when he had a few
to drink.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
It was kind of like a succulent Chinese meal kind
of situation and filmed it.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
Do you know what's funny about that Chinese meal audio
is the more I watched it, the more I realized
that that actually happens to a lot of people when
they steamed as we do get Do you remember a
friend of the show, Tom Harper used to take here,
same thing and the same thing with Jason Hoyt.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Can they can become quite sort of theatrical?
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Theatrical with the way that they speak and it's a
Shakespearean and I think maybe was it just because this guy,
does he actually talk like that the succulent Chinese meal?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Or was he just steamed someone underviewed him recently. I
haven't watched it.
Speaker 4 (17:42):
No, I've watched it either.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
This is funny, but he'd be bloody old by now
when he that go getting on.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Because that footage is like almost black and white, not
quite so.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Statue of you made ruder? Would you want it nude
in a toga or dressed in the cares your way
you normally come into the radio.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I would like it in exercise clothes please. I'd like
some short shorts, and I'd like probably a nice not
not a singy as such, but like a nice light
light shirt.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Oh, meshy.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
I would go nude.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I'd go full nude. And I'd say, feel free to
exaggerate downstairs to the to the status is that because
if that statues out there, that what you'd say to them.
So if that statues out there and people assume, especially
if it's a good likeness on your face, then they
see that and they go and I'll go trim though,
like Troum troum an extent.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
Do you know this has gotten really excited and they actually,
I'm actually gonna find out a place, because it would
be so great if we're going to have four statues
erect in the corner of our studio, many worth an
exaggerated downstairs. Maybe actually, maybe I run the Donald Dark situation.
I just go like shirt on, only like Tiger, but
half tiger, half open, hanging brain right over there and
(18:59):
piercing Wayne. Well, he'll be fully closed.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
I was going to say, you might say this is
quite impossible, but text just throw on three four eight
three saying Jeremy looks like a statue on seven sharp. Anyway,
I'm getting text. I don't know how that's happened, but
that's just what I'm reading. He walks a lot like
a statue.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
By the time he's eight, he will be he's actually
no point actually on seven sharp, he looks a bit
like Ian Jones, and he's precuriously on the edge of
the couch, leaning forward like couch. It always feels like
he's a tip rusk, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
I never thought about this before he does. If Ian
Jones look about.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Him, yeah, it's a tip risk on the Ian Jones
tip risk.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
Mate, just take a ship before you start the TV show.
He's kind of like on the edge of his seat,
just clinching. Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
He's anyways in Chicago having a good time. All right,
should we call it?
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
All right, shove that up, yep, all right, slug on there,
please please bless. I look forward to the complaints and
the conclave of the Met and Jerry podcast group and
on the Facebook page and or so of course on
the Radiohighlights podcast. Today, we've got a really good one
and we asked the Olympics thus far penisal genius.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
Oh that was good, wasn't it.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah? Also we go deep into movie theater etiquette.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
All right, really quickly. Do you know, I think it
was quite controversial about the fair that we did the
Olympics thus far. Today it is because it could be
the most decorated night of our Olympics.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Yeah, so is that good or bad? Because we can
because we said thus far, we can then say well
it wasn't at that point because we were all smarting
from the heroic performance by Aiden Wild. Yeah, very good. Great,
I mean that's the thing. Just one more thing before
we go, you know, when you say he came when
we go came silver. It was heartbreak firm. He did
so much to come back from the race to get
(20:43):
silver was actually phenomenal, and you forget that you only
have so much in the tank and the amount of
fighting he had to do against the current and you know,
being in the Malay and the random and us out there.
The silver is actually an incredible performance. It just looks
a bit odd because he was run down at the end,
but to actually go that far ahead was enough for
(21:03):
him to get the silver. So it was actually a
fantastic result. You know, it's hard to get your head
around that he was leading and then he didn't win,
But it's all about it's all about energy totally, you know,
And and and for him to pull back and the cycling,
it was just it was just a phenomenal performance from
from what is a great New Zealander.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
We're trying to see up a bit of a chat
with them. Yeah, we're trying to figure out what if
we cant his schedule, But god, it would be amazing
if we could have a check about that because the
savageness of you know how people always say like silver's
like the silver the silver metals. I don't know exactly
what that is quite like. Silver's like the worst happen.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
To happy and the Frenchman was very happy in bronze.
But the silver is almost goal. Yeah yeah, but the
silver fucking awesome at a boy. Yeah all right, okay,
all right, shout that up here, all right then bye bye. Hello,
I'm Matt Heath. You have been listening to the Matt
and Jerry Daily Bespoke podcast. Right now you can listen
to our Radio Highlights podcast, which you will absolutely get
(22:01):
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and to a lesser extent, mess and ruder. If you
want to discuss anything raised in this pod, check out
the Conclave, a Matt and Jerry Facebook discussion group. And
while I'm plugging stuff, my book, A Lifeless Punishing Thirteen
Ways to Love the Life You've Got is out now
get it wherever you get your books, or just google
(22:23):
the bastard. Anyway you seem busy, I'll let you go.
Bless blessed, blessed, give them a taste of keyw from me,