July 24, 2024 • 28 mins
Today on the Daily Bespoke, Mash is searching for answers following a peculiar sequence of events at his flat last night...
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
We're happy with that.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Oh, we're happy with that. I couldn't be happier. I
couldn't be happier with that. That's the best thing we've.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Done in years.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Mark that for the radio. Yeah, okay, ten years. We'll
put that one down. Highlight that one.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Here we goesies, how do we do this?
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Anina Buses.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
Twenty of July twenty twenty four. Welcome all you bespokey
dokies to the Daily Met and Jerry Bespoke podcast. Now,
recently on the podcast, thing has been getting a little
bit sexual and that's not going to change because MESHI
you threw something into the WhatsApp group yesterday.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
Oh yeah, we can talk about that during the podcast.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
That's a good idea, and I think I think we
should because I read it and.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I was disgusted because I put up my hand and say,
I don't think we should. I was quite shocked about
what it said. I was intrigued. Yeah a lot O
Jesus Christ, what have you been eating?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
You cut back, So guess is it coming at both
ends or just the top?
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Just the top?
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Yeah, maybe it's because you're holding things in down the
bottom though.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
So you plug one end and then it's got to
come out.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
That's actually a thing, do you guys believe and better
out than in Yep, to a point, to.
Speaker 5 (01:50):
A point, unless you're in front of a hottie. I
think it's kind of like the eye before except after.
It's the same word that before, and except if you're
in front of a hotty.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Is a relationship moving into a new level when you
just start letting rippons front of you.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
It is generally what happens is it comes accidentally the
first one, Yeah, and then once it's once seal, then
then the floodgates open.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
I mean, I think it's important as a dad to
fight in your kids' faces a lot. I mean, my son,
my fifteen year old son, said to the other day.
When I was a kid, you just farted in my
face constantly and laughed. One time, I woke up after
I've been fighting in my kids faces because it's so
funny because they're about ass height.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
So you're doing it and you're sleep. No.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
No, One time I was asleep and I woke up
and my son enacted revenge. Oh sorry, he was squatting
over me. He was He was four at the time.
And he was squatting right over my head, and the
other son came through and grabbed my hand to wake
me up, and then he timed it and I woke up,
open my eyes and then my.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Son farted right in my faces.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
That's not respects it?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Maybe it's the ultimate respect? Yeah? True.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
I guess you know, actions speak louder than words. And
if you're fighting in your kids, then you're teaching them
to fight in your face.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
And the other as long as you'll find with it
and the other I mean, is it worse or better
than for donking them where where you lift up your
testicles and when you know it and then you drop
them on their shoulder or head when they're little and
then you say Eric and then the donk as it
drops down on.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
As a tribute to the great New Zealand rower.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Yeah Eric for donk? Is it better or worse than that?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I'd rather be, would you? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (03:25):
But anyway, that's not the bit that we're talking about. Really,
this is the bit we're talking about. This text came
through to the group chat from.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
One mash and went.
Speaker 6 (03:35):
Flatmate bought a girl around and he's come down and
blue Latex gloves for a glass of water. He's avoiding
all lines of questioning what could be going on there?
I'd like to ask this too. I'd like to ask
this question of two very experienced men in the bedroom,
as I'm sure you all will be familiar with what's
(03:57):
going on there.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Funny actually, because when I read the text came through
to the group text, I read it like fled made
girl around it and he's come down in lee latex
gloves for a glass of water. He's avoiding all lines
of question what.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Could be going on up there?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I'd like to ask this of two very experienced men
in the bedroom, as I'm sure you all are very
familiar with what could be going on?
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Is this because I knew a couple and they like
to wear pink dish washing gloves in the bedroom bedroom
like too big? Well, they're watching if you're listening to this.
The person that told me this in confidence, I'm not
going to use your name, okay, so because I was
told not to tell us, but but but this person
(04:44):
wasn't spooch, but I was. I was like you, Mashi,
I was inquisitive and why, like what was the advantage
and imagine latex gloves. They're more you know, you're going
to feel more the latex glove because you're not going
to get much senseation out of just being completely nude.
It set for large pink dish washing gloves and they
(05:06):
both had them on.
Speaker 5 (05:07):
All right, So you'll even jump into the conclusion that
this is some kind of love making thing. I wasn't
even sure about that. I can't confumes.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
She started this text with, Oh, I know what, flat
mate brought a girl around and he's come down in
blue late text clubs.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
I've all the information, but he did have because I
actually read this wrong. He wasn't nude when he came
down with the glass of water.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Okay, But did he bring the girl home or was
it a girl that he often has around like as
a girl he picked up?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Okay? Can I this is what happened last night? Okay?
I got home about.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
And not in the way you normally talky.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
You normally talk like this. Hang on, you're doing two
different voices. I feel like it.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Doesn't he normally speak like this.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
It's up and down. It's a mix. There's a bit
of a mexident.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
You can do a mix of this voice here the
South African accent.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Gordy's South African, right.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
No, he's waitress.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
She's a waitress from Susy, she's from kit Boy. Do
they not talk like this?
Speaker 5 (06:08):
And no, they don't talk like that from Kypoint.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
But I thought Big Norm talk like its Big Norm.
I can't believe you said that. I can't believe you've
just said that. Oh my god, mesh, whatever Normal.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
You don't know who big normals? You're talking about? Norm?
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Bell you you say that you're from Kypoy and you
don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Who norm Big Normals.
Speaker 5 (06:35):
I know a big Norm and I dated his daughter
for quite a few years. I wonder if it's the
same big Norm.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Was she big?
Speaker 5 (06:43):
She wasn't as big as normally? She was an angel.
He name was Meddy. She's a nice girl.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Yeah, Maddy, Maddy, Matty you may t t one?
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Yeah, how was he? I'm gonna I'm going to Norm
and see if it's the same Norm. Does this here?
Oh no, there's gonna be a buzzing. There's gonna be
a buzzing. There's this here in one ear?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Maybe just ring some bells as to who Big Normal
might actually.
Speaker 7 (07:09):
Steal my need for a never day, taking my house,
taking my old daylong?
Speaker 6 (07:17):
But please, Normal baby, won't you leave me in my song?
If the country is in jeopardy, the land is a
strong in resurrections.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
You want to fight and norm baby, when you're.
Speaker 6 (07:33):
Gonna see the lights, help me sing a song? Make
it over?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Does this not ring a bell?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Massue?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
No, that doesn't ring any kind of bells?
Speaker 6 (07:44):
No, great laborer is how big norms? And the social
credit is how.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Big you never heard of?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Sorry, if he comes to pay off here it comes
the hero is. I don't believe you don't know who
big norm is.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Man should be ashamed of yourself. I just don't know
who there is Big Normal is?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Normal kis?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Oh spake Norms? I don't know norm k You don't
no Norm care? Prime Minister of New Zealand, Norm.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Norm the most famous person that's ever He must.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Have and everything.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Yeah, I know, Prime Minister from nineteen seventy two.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
I'll show you the big norm that I know. How
about that. I'll show you the big Norms. I'll go
in to.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Not that so I'm not talking about that sort of
that's not that's not why they called big norm.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
That's that's big Norm. There Jesus. Okay, but let's get
back off track.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Okay, we'll come back after the break on our thoughts
around blue latex clubs in the bedroom, and we're back.
So I guess the first question is is was your
assumption seeing your flatmate come down in the blue latex
gloves with a woman lift up in his bedroom?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
No?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Can I were? Okay? Sorry? Can I explain the story first?
Is that all right?
Speaker 5 (09:12):
It was kind of a weird. The way the events
unfolded was strange. So give us some give you all
the information that I have, and then we can try
and pieces together.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Give us some context.
Speaker 5 (09:20):
She I got home about two o'clock yesterday, had a
sleep whatever. You don't need to know that part that
was six thirty, seven thirty was Lauren. No, she wasn't
around last night.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Sounds Lauren.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
She's good. Yeah, she good woman. Lauren know she's good,
And so she was.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
She came around the night before, I think, so she
wasn't there for last night's activities. So I was on
the couch just watching and then there's a knock on
the door and it was my flat mate. I should
not have named him or beat that. He came into
the door, and then there was a woman that followed
and someone that you know, I half know she's familiar
with that they've been seeing each other for a little bit.
And then they went up to their room straight away.
(09:54):
You know that kind of ushering that if a mate
will do when they don't want to be embarrassed by
their mate in front of their women, so they'll go
like radio, let's just get So he went straight from
the door upstairs. No words were exchanged. I said, get
a mate, He said, get a mate. This is this
is whoever this And then they went up They went
upstairs straight away into the bedroom.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, and then with intent and purpose.
Speaker 5 (10:18):
I mean yeah, they both actually they both sit on
the way up, but they're both very tired.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
And had long days. Were they carrying anything?
Speaker 5 (10:25):
I mean she was carrying an overnight bag interesting potentially
with blue latex gloves and any surgeons out And then
so they went upstairs. For about fifteen minutes. It was me,
my other flatmate, Brookie Bay, and her partner Caleb that
we were on the couch and then he came downstairs
to get a glass of water. And this is probably
about fifteen minutes after he had quickly gone.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Up there usually fifteen minutes.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
About fifteen minutes after going into a good droom. Yeah,
you'd think, you know, there's something that's happened, and we're
looking at it whatever.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
And there's a flushing sound that comes out. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
Yeah, so he came downstairs. But no, he was looking
for a glass of water. And I couldn't help but
notice that he was wearing blue laid text gloves. He
was fully clothed, yep.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Yeah, and then he got a drink in the same clothes,
in the same manner as.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
He walked in or in new city clothes. Uh, same clothes.
I think I didn't pay attention to that detail.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
But did he ever come to come hither? Sort of
look in his eye, he.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
Had a smirk jury and the one slight redness in
the face. I did not notice his downstairs Okay, yeah, no,
I'm not too sure. And the redness in his face, yeah,
i'd say so that.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
That sort of glow.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Yeah, post courtiers blushing through the cheeks a post cordial blow.
But blow glow that too, sorry, so post courdial blow
and then the only thing blow. Nobody wants a post cards.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Really, I can't worse.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
I'm not into it. At that point, you're done. Sorry,
you're moving on to other things. Okay, so your neck.
So he's come down and did you say anything?
Speaker 5 (11:55):
And then he raised an eyebrow, just an eyebrows on
his way back upstairs, and said, my ma just wearing
blue laid ticks gloves. She brought them around. Yeah, and
then I started answer asking some questions medical professional. So
did Brookie Bay, and so did Caleb.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Who's Brookie Bay.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
It's Caleb's messes, my flap, not come and come and
come and come with Caleb.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
I mean that guy. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:18):
Anyway, not the point of the story. We're getting way
later again. Okay, So what's going to happen now is
that they went back up says we started questioning me.
He's like, no, no, you're not Brockie Bombay doors.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Not Brockie Barn doors. Brookie Barn doors flipping around on
the breeze.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Okay, you can't say things like that. That's a good friend.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Well, I'm just wondering if it's the same Brookie Barn
doors flipping around the.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Older.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
If it's not Brockie Bombay doors, then just say it's not. No, no,
because one because the one I'm thinking about was like,
it's like a pilot in the world, the famous pilot. Okay,
Rocky Bombay Doors.
Speaker 5 (12:56):
Well, I can see now how you thought I might be.
I can see how you got.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Also, Brookie Brombay Doors was a dude.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Oh really, yeah, didn't as opposed to Brookie barn Doors
flapping around on the breeze. Who's yeah, mother of three
anyway anyway, okay, so different to all of those people.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
This is this is Brookie Bay got you.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
Okay, Brookie Bay was quizzing, I don't know, don't know,
and then he gave me one more eyebrow. He gave
me a wink and then went upstairs. And that's all
the information that I did.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Hold the hands up and do a double clutch. He did.
He did.
Speaker 5 (13:28):
He put the glass down on the island and said,
don't mind these tap tap.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Did they did?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
They like like a like a like a crayfish or something?
Speaker 5 (13:36):
Yeah, And then flaws and then he went back upstairs
a crab plap.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
And then we did not hear it from him for
the rest of the night. Now that's that I've got.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Would have killed you to sneak up the stairs with
a glass put it against the door to try and
hear what was happening. Yeah, that's what a proper investigative
journalist would have done.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
I tried that, tried that. All I could hear was
ready to be playing through the wall.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
So he was running. So there was a movie plane.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
He's playing Rats, like Jeremy and TOSSI play.
Speaker 5 (14:04):
Oh that game where you kind of nibbled at each other.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
In the game where we play six Rats. Yeah, we
pretend to be rats. It's like role play, but we
pretend to be rats.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
And yeah, you love that game. Yeah, I don't know
if that maybe. Okay, so that's you don't need Red
to to play. Actually, I need to write this down.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
So first possibility urinate on each other, and then.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Possibility for playing Rats. Okay, it's one.
Speaker 7 (14:26):
One possibility playing when you bring cheese and he's highly evolved.
If he's playing Rats, of course you precious summer. But
they're not playing Rats. To get into Rats. About ten
years into relationship, I haven't played. You should play Rats.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
It's fun. One possibility.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
But but I thought you're asking us, but you must
have got a vibe.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I have no idea.
Speaker 5 (14:48):
This is why I'm so confused.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Well, you know, what it is. Everyone knows what it does.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Come on as them? Come on?
Speaker 1 (14:56):
What can I can I enlighten you? Please know what
you're thinking? Honestly, cherry? Were they blue? How tight with
the blue gloves? They're latex?
Speaker 4 (15:04):
Mate, then you don't have a flapping latex and not
like washing.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Up gloves like proper medical gray.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
You can't they can't.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
You don't want it to come off.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Do you think by any chance he was applying some
sort of careful either hair removal like with your vet.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Didn't explorer going with a here d eye?
Speaker 4 (15:27):
No, hang on, you can't come round and apply here
removal to a young lady.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
That's sometimes you need someone to help you. Maybe he
was trying to get some removed from his back, or
sometimes you.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Do a little's quick and be quite sixy actually if
you play rats.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
So maybe he was dying her hair?
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Okay, so that's possibility.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Numbers blue, the hair dye ones are often blue.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Was yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:51):
I mean, look, he sometimes wasn't a medical examination.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Because it's either for me, it's either either here dye
or tea actually vat, or he's shoving something up for us.
Those are the only three options. What was he doing
Granddad's bumm.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
So what was the third one?
Speaker 5 (16:07):
Sorry?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Shoving something over us because it's a great like with
Granddad's bum, he wore the gloves.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Okay, just for.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Assume knowledge here, you know, Jerry, maybe people haven't rust
into the thirty eight times you brought up grand video
you rented called Granddad's bum.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Well, okay.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Jeremy and his girlfriend pre Tulsi went to Video United
Video ponsby yep, and that was a good store man
with the intent of renting a.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Blue movie. Yeah this is these are pre internet days,
of course, and his.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
Girlfriend surprised him with her choice of blue movie something
that you wouldn't expect, and that was a video where
an old German Man had a series of things inserted
into his bottom while he went, oh yeah, fiercely.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Look, can I just go back a step? Sick because
we didn't know that he was German at the time, right,
You couldn't tell. It didn't It wasn't called ranch or
whatever it is bums for bum and German. It was
in English. It all looked, it all looked above board. Also,
was it.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Behind the curtain and video? You know the video?
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Yep, nothing behind those curtains. Was above board.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Yeah, no, I mean it was above board in terms
of we didn't know the realm that you're operating it.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
It didn't know that he was going to know. For me,
when I see an old man on the front of a.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
Adult DVD, I'm putting that back on the shelf and
picking one that doesn't even.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Know about a second you've got as the story goes,
and as you well know, you're pretending you don't know
this part of the story. But as you well know,
because as you've heard thirty eight times, you know that.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
It was not about me. I was not. I was not.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
It was I was not interested in older men or
anything like that that I don't want that.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
It was for her. She was she found she had
an interest in that sort of was the same girl
climbing through the window. It was the old man.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yeah, she likes the climbing through the window. But let's
not let's not go too deep be at this point
that she liked these old well I'm not going to
say that age because I think that kind of plays
these things a little bit too much. But look not old,
not old like she wasn't in her seventies.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
No, no, definitely not. And we're talking. No, not old
at all.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Well, we're talking back in DVD days. Yeah, we're talking
because there's only a very strange couple, even stranger than
renting Granddad's bum as the couple now that go out
and rent a DVD to get like as opposed to
just rustling up that kind of visual content on the internet.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
So anyway, Grande's balm and they put on gloves and look,
it wasn't Look it wasn't quite what I don't think
this person thought it was going to be.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
How much of it did you watch? Very little?
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Actually interesting there was. I wasn't really into it, so
I really couldn't watch it because it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Doing anything for me. What's it to be into things?
Put into.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Sound? But I could still hear the sound of it,
Oh yeah, because he had to bring the TV in
from the lounge on the trolley. Remember you used to
have TV's on trolleys.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
And so this is why I didn't think this was
going on in his room last night, because first of all,
I did not hear an o ya coming from the bedroom.
Oh yeah, it just doesn't give me a Grandad's bum
kind of vibe. Okay, if I'm being honest.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
You've tried it.
Speaker 7 (19:32):
Well.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
I wonder who you know, because if you're running a
DVD store back in the day, you had to order
the products in.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Right, so someone looked at the catalog and.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
Someone's going to want Grandheads Cico bought it out, I
mean before the people at the Sicko you being the
sicker that rented it. Who was the cig that ordered
it in? I reckon they may have had reps like
coming in and showing off the Granddad bums going off
down down the road. You guys are gonna be trouble
(20:03):
if you don't get five copies of Grandad's bum video
Easy Points.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Yeah, but you know there was easy Potster, not United Video.
Sorry I take video easy Post. But you remember the perverse.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
I used to work in those stores, and they'd seen
every single.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Matt Perkins exactly, Orlando Stewart.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Terrible people, David.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
So they have all seen every video that came into
that store pretty much.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
They got keV that used to ring you up when
you didn't hadn't returned your videos.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
KEIV a shocking perv rewound them, so they I bet
they know about Grandad's but.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Rewound your DVD. No videos.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Oh yeah, okay, they remember Granddad's bum.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
Yeah, I mean god, they probably remember when Newsboy from
the Heavican Newsboys Show rented it.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
I think I distanced myself slightly from the purchase. It
wasn't a purchase, rental.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Well, I think you do have a get out of
kail a little bit. Being a well known personality, people
would go, oh, he's renting that for something on the
Bloody TV show. It's probably a gag, you know what
I mean? Because I remember when a flat man of
mine who was quite a famous person, rented Coume Bath
Bonanza for him and his girlfriend. And he was saying,
(21:11):
and he was saying, because he was on TV at
the time, just to qualify see U M bath like
a come a bath of come not come not not yeah,
come on a bath of mate. I know, but but
he was concerned. He was concerned at the time that
being a well known TV personality rocking into video easy
(21:33):
ponts of bent and renting that DVD would look reflect badly,
reflect person badly on his personality.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Who wasn't I whisp brittin you here.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Just to sort of make a make see if you
can do like a mime.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I'll do a mime of what he looks like. Now, Okay,
because you you we've talked about it.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Okay, do you know what.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
You like?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
You're watching binoculars and then licking your lips.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, I'll have to tell you. Okay, can you do
another mine?
Speaker 5 (22:13):
These minds are good, We're great for the podcast audience. Yeah,
he's pulling us here and making a gormuous face. He
looks around bewildered. Well, but I think I know how
it does. Yeah, I think I know how it does.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I'll come around. What's brittin?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Okay, I can't go on you, No, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Yeah, googling. I can't think that's happened in years, Bonanza.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Really you were doing those agents, It's okay.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
And see what you're doing with the.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
The lips. Oh god, that was funny for me, I
knew that was very funny for everyone else.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
I can't.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
I can't reveal it outside of I can't.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Come So I guess are we have?
Speaker 4 (23:11):
We helped it all with your your latex globs and.
Speaker 5 (23:15):
God, I forgot we're talking about that. No yeah, I
mean no, not really. I mean Caleb, Brookie Bay and
I are going to have to sit down tonight bit
of a round table and discuss these.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Not Brockie Bomboy doors.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
No, not Brookie Barn doors flapping around on the breeze.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
No not Brookie Barn doors flipping around in the breeze. Okay,
Brockie Barn doors.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
No, not old Brookie branndors slipping around in the breeze.
Different Brookie Bay. Okay, you're confusing things, due, I wondered,
she does not make those noises?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
What it's good.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
It's good as sort of seasons broadcasting professionals and worldly
men that a young man like you coming up the
business knows that they can come to us and ask
us a question and we will give you sage advice.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
The worst answer imaginable. I mean, I've got nowhere. So
if you've given me fucking rad some kind of German
porn video where people you got grandad getting shoved up
in our Grandad's bum, and then how did we end
up in a come up bonanza, the four of us.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
I'm not sure Granddad's bum was a pawn movie.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
And then Matt talked about it. I'm fellows, you've helped me.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Did you ever see Edward Penis hands. Yes, I saw
it on the shelf, but I never actually saw it. Oh,
it seems like you did say it. Did you ever
rent Edward Penis Hans? No, did you ever go out
with anyone who rented it? By proxy? Not to the
best of my recollection?
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Okay, that's definitely not a no.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
That's what happens in those congressional hearings when someone goes
not to my recollection and you know that they're lying.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
That's a yst.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
That's a loud yess. No, I did not rent Penis.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
Jury's got a theory actually that that every single person
in New Zealand there's a three degree separation between him
and Edward Penis hands at some point, which I think
is actually good theory.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
By the way, seen it hands, I know I have
not seen it. It's worth to go it's a guy
with instead of having Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I
get it. Yeah, thank god. You shouldn't be called Dillians.
Yeah it was badly named. Yeah, all right, then we've
(25:17):
got to the bottom of that. Yeah, way to see
come bath bonanza.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
I'd love to hear on the Conclave, the met and
Jury Discussion group if if they felt like that question
was answered adequately.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
My reasonably sensible suggestion was some kind of fetish to
do with like a medical drama, say Shortland Street or
Gray's Anatomy.
Speaker 5 (25:35):
Yeah, see that was a good option. But again, I
just he didn't look like he had just made love.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
He really throws a spanner in the work. I'll tell
you what.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
On the Met and Jerry Radio Highlights podcast, we've got
a woman called Charlotte whipping a horse. All right, where
do you sit on horses? Boys on the saddle in
the middle. We've got the an increase in China's retirement age.
We've got the merits of Wales.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
We've got a.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
And we argue with the wales of Penis more genius
on the back of doc good stuff spending two hundred
and seventy thousand dollars to bury beach whales. So if
you have enjoyed what you've got here, you'll thoroughly enjoy
that good stuff. All right, thank you team, All right, okay, then.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Off for those that are wondering.
Speaker 5 (26:23):
By the way, we realize you said that the podcast
from Bebelly massive hr issues.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
So yeah, we managed to keep that one.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
Yeah, So that's just put that to be well, the
good thing we've got this this podcast currently operates in
a cone of silence, in a cone of I guess
what would you call it?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Like, I think we all agree.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
What goes on the podcast stays on the podcast and
in the bespokey dok community, you know, and then onto
the conclave.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Yep, you know.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
That's what we saw operate behind sort of a cloak
of secrecy, and that works well for us.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
But yeah, shall we finish?
Speaker 5 (27:00):
My god, I just got a text. Maybe talk about
that tomorrow. I've got answers around the blue gloves.
Speaker 4 (27:06):
Okay, okay, Tomorrow on the Daily Bespoke podcast we get
the answer to the question why was Mashi's flatmate coming
down from the room we had been with a young
lady wearing no out but blue l Can we call.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
The episode just mate coming one coming on wearing a
pair of blue lad I just want to also clear
up he wasn't wearing out.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
He was wearing he was fully closed. He wasn't wearing
all right, okay, okay?
Speaker 5 (27:42):
Or can you say something nice about Brookie Bay please
by the way doors?
Speaker 4 (27:46):
Okay, all right, Hello, I'm Matt Heath. You have been
listening to the Mat and Jerry Daily Bespoke podcast. Right
now you can listen to our Radio Highlights podcast, which
you will absolutely get bard up about. Anyway, set to download, like, subscribe, write, review,
all those great things. It really helps myself and Jerry
and to a lesser extent, Messi Ruder. If you want
(28:08):
to discuss anything raised in this pod, check out the Conclave,
a Matt and Jerry Facebook discussion group. And while I'm
plugging stuff, my book, A Lifeless Punishing Thirteen Ways to
Love the Life You've Got is out now get it
wherever you get your books, or just google the bastard.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Anyway you seem busy, I'll let you go. Bless blessed, blessed.
Give them a taste of keyw from me,
We're happy with that.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Oh, we're happy with that. I couldn't be happier. I
couldn't be happier with that. That's the best thing we've.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Done in years.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Mark that for the radio. Yeah, okay, ten years. We'll
put that one down. Highlight that one.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Here we goesies, how do we do this?
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Anina Buses.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
Twenty of July twenty twenty four. Welcome all you bespokey
dokies to the Daily Met and Jerry Bespoke podcast. Now,
recently on the podcast, thing has been getting a little
bit sexual and that's not going to change because MESHI
you threw something into the WhatsApp group yesterday.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
Oh yeah, we can talk about that during the podcast.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
That's a good idea, and I think I think we
should because I read it and.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I was disgusted because I put up my hand and say,
I don't think we should. I was quite shocked about
what it said. I was intrigued. Yeah a lot O
Jesus Christ, what have you been eating?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
You cut back, So guess is it coming at both
ends or just the top?
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Just the top?
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Yeah, maybe it's because you're holding things in down the
bottom though.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
So you plug one end and then it's got to
come out.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
That's actually a thing, do you guys believe and better
out than in Yep, to a point, to.
Speaker 5 (01:50):
A point, unless you're in front of a hottie. I
think it's kind of like the eye before except after.
It's the same word that before, and except if you're
in front of a hotty.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Is a relationship moving into a new level when you
just start letting rippons front of you.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
It is generally what happens is it comes accidentally the
first one, Yeah, and then once it's once seal, then
then the floodgates open.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
I mean, I think it's important as a dad to
fight in your kids' faces a lot. I mean, my son,
my fifteen year old son, said to the other day.
When I was a kid, you just farted in my
face constantly and laughed. One time, I woke up after
I've been fighting in my kids faces because it's so
funny because they're about ass height.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
So you're doing it and you're sleep. No.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
No, One time I was asleep and I woke up
and my son enacted revenge. Oh sorry, he was squatting
over me. He was He was four at the time.
And he was squatting right over my head, and the
other son came through and grabbed my hand to wake
me up, and then he timed it and I woke up,
open my eyes and then my.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Son farted right in my faces.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
That's not respects it?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Maybe it's the ultimate respect? Yeah? True.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
I guess you know, actions speak louder than words. And
if you're fighting in your kids, then you're teaching them
to fight in your face.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
And the other as long as you'll find with it
and the other I mean, is it worse or better
than for donking them where where you lift up your
testicles and when you know it and then you drop
them on their shoulder or head when they're little and
then you say Eric and then the donk as it
drops down on.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
As a tribute to the great New Zealand rower.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Yeah Eric for donk? Is it better or worse than that?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I'd rather be, would you? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (03:25):
But anyway, that's not the bit that we're talking about. Really,
this is the bit we're talking about. This text came
through to the group chat from.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
One mash and went.
Speaker 6 (03:35):
Flatmate bought a girl around and he's come down and
blue Latex gloves for a glass of water. He's avoiding
all lines of questioning what could be going on there?
I'd like to ask this too. I'd like to ask
this question of two very experienced men in the bedroom,
as I'm sure you all will be familiar with what's
(03:57):
going on there.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Funny actually, because when I read the text came through
to the group text, I read it like fled made
girl around it and he's come down in lee latex
gloves for a glass of water. He's avoiding all lines
of question what.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Could be going on up there?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
I'd like to ask this of two very experienced men
in the bedroom, as I'm sure you all are very
familiar with what could be going on?
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Is this because I knew a couple and they like
to wear pink dish washing gloves in the bedroom bedroom
like too big? Well, they're watching if you're listening to this.
The person that told me this in confidence, I'm not
going to use your name, okay, so because I was
told not to tell us, but but but this person
(04:44):
wasn't spooch, but I was. I was like you, Mashi,
I was inquisitive and why, like what was the advantage
and imagine latex gloves. They're more you know, you're going
to feel more the latex glove because you're not going
to get much senseation out of just being completely nude.
It set for large pink dish washing gloves and they
(05:06):
both had them on.
Speaker 5 (05:07):
All right, So you'll even jump into the conclusion that
this is some kind of love making thing. I wasn't
even sure about that. I can't confumes.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
She started this text with, Oh, I know what, flat
mate brought a girl around and he's come down in
blue late text clubs.
Speaker 5 (05:21):
I've all the information, but he did have because I
actually read this wrong. He wasn't nude when he came
down with the glass of water.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Okay, But did he bring the girl home or was
it a girl that he often has around like as
a girl he picked up?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Okay? Can I this is what happened last night? Okay?
I got home about.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
And not in the way you normally talky.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
You normally talk like this. Hang on, you're doing two
different voices. I feel like it.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Doesn't he normally speak like this.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
It's up and down. It's a mix. There's a bit
of a mexident.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
You can do a mix of this voice here the
South African accent.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Gordy's South African, right.
Speaker 5 (05:55):
No, he's waitress.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
She's a waitress from Susy, she's from kit Boy. Do
they not talk like this?
Speaker 5 (06:08):
And no, they don't talk like that from Kypoint.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
But I thought Big Norm talk like its Big Norm.
I can't believe you said that. I can't believe you've
just said that. Oh my god, mesh, whatever Normal.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
You don't know who big normals? You're talking about? Norm?
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Bell you you say that you're from Kypoy and you
don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Who norm Big Normals.
Speaker 5 (06:35):
I know a big Norm and I dated his daughter
for quite a few years. I wonder if it's the
same big Norm.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Was she big?
Speaker 5 (06:43):
She wasn't as big as normally? She was an angel.
He name was Meddy. She's a nice girl.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
Yeah, Maddy, Maddy, Matty you may t t one?
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Yeah, how was he? I'm gonna I'm going to Norm
and see if it's the same Norm. Does this here?
Oh no, there's gonna be a buzzing. There's gonna be
a buzzing. There's this here in one ear?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Maybe just ring some bells as to who Big Normal
might actually.
Speaker 7 (07:09):
Steal my need for a never day, taking my house,
taking my old daylong?
Speaker 6 (07:17):
But please, Normal baby, won't you leave me in my song?
If the country is in jeopardy, the land is a
strong in resurrections.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
You want to fight and norm baby, when you're.
Speaker 6 (07:33):
Gonna see the lights, help me sing a song? Make
it over?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Does this not ring a bell?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Massue?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
No, that doesn't ring any kind of bells?
Speaker 6 (07:44):
No, great laborer is how big norms? And the social
credit is how.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Big you never heard of?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Sorry, if he comes to pay off here it comes
the hero is. I don't believe you don't know who
big norm is.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Man should be ashamed of yourself. I just don't know
who there is Big Normal is?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Normal kis?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Oh spake Norms? I don't know norm k You don't
no Norm care? Prime Minister of New Zealand, Norm.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Norm the most famous person that's ever He must.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Have and everything.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Yeah, I know, Prime Minister from nineteen seventy two.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
I'll show you the big norm that I know. How
about that. I'll show you the big Norms. I'll go
in to.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Not that so I'm not talking about that sort of
that's not that's not why they called big norm.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
That's that's big Norm. There Jesus. Okay, but let's get
back off track.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Okay, we'll come back after the break on our thoughts
around blue latex clubs in the bedroom, and we're back.
So I guess the first question is is was your
assumption seeing your flatmate come down in the blue latex
gloves with a woman lift up in his bedroom?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
No?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Can I were? Okay? Sorry? Can I explain the story first?
Is that all right?
Speaker 5 (09:12):
It was kind of a weird. The way the events
unfolded was strange. So give us some give you all
the information that I have, and then we can try
and pieces together.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Give us some context.
Speaker 5 (09:20):
She I got home about two o'clock yesterday, had a
sleep whatever. You don't need to know that part that
was six thirty, seven thirty was Lauren. No, she wasn't
around last night.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Sounds Lauren.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
She's good. Yeah, she good woman. Lauren know she's good,
And so she was.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
She came around the night before, I think, so she
wasn't there for last night's activities. So I was on
the couch just watching and then there's a knock on
the door and it was my flat mate. I should
not have named him or beat that. He came into
the door, and then there was a woman that followed
and someone that you know, I half know she's familiar
with that they've been seeing each other for a little bit.
And then they went up to their room straight away.
(09:54):
You know that kind of ushering that if a mate
will do when they don't want to be embarrassed by
their mate in front of their women, so they'll go
like radio, let's just get So he went straight from
the door upstairs. No words were exchanged. I said, get
a mate, He said, get a mate. This is this
is whoever this And then they went up They went
upstairs straight away into the bedroom.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, and then with intent and purpose.
Speaker 5 (10:18):
I mean yeah, they both actually they both sit on
the way up, but they're both very tired.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
And had long days. Were they carrying anything?
Speaker 5 (10:25):
I mean she was carrying an overnight bag interesting potentially
with blue latex gloves and any surgeons out And then
so they went upstairs. For about fifteen minutes. It was me,
my other flatmate, Brookie Bay, and her partner Caleb that
we were on the couch and then he came downstairs
to get a glass of water. And this is probably
about fifteen minutes after he had quickly gone.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Up there usually fifteen minutes.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
About fifteen minutes after going into a good droom. Yeah,
you'd think, you know, there's something that's happened, and we're
looking at it whatever.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
And there's a flushing sound that comes out. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:55):
Yeah, so he came downstairs. But no, he was looking
for a glass of water. And I couldn't help but
notice that he was wearing blue laid text gloves. He
was fully clothed, yep.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Yeah, and then he got a drink in the same clothes,
in the same manner as.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
He walked in or in new city clothes. Uh, same clothes.
I think I didn't pay attention to that detail.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
But did he ever come to come hither? Sort of
look in his eye, he.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
Had a smirk jury and the one slight redness in
the face. I did not notice his downstairs Okay, yeah, no,
I'm not too sure. And the redness in his face, yeah,
i'd say so that.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
That sort of glow.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Yeah, post courtiers blushing through the cheeks a post cordial blow.
But blow glow that too, sorry, so post courdial blow
and then the only thing blow. Nobody wants a post cards.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Really, I can't worse.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
I'm not into it. At that point, you're done. Sorry,
you're moving on to other things. Okay, so your neck.
So he's come down and did you say anything?
Speaker 5 (11:55):
And then he raised an eyebrow, just an eyebrows on
his way back upstairs, and said, my ma just wearing
blue laid ticks gloves. She brought them around. Yeah, and
then I started answer asking some questions medical professional. So
did Brookie Bay, and so did Caleb.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Who's Brookie Bay.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
It's Caleb's messes, my flap, not come and come and
come and come with Caleb.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
I mean that guy. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:18):
Anyway, not the point of the story. We're getting way
later again. Okay, So what's going to happen now is
that they went back up says we started questioning me.
He's like, no, no, you're not Brockie Bombay doors.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Not Brockie Barn doors. Brookie Barn doors flipping around on
the breeze.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Okay, you can't say things like that. That's a good friend.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Well, I'm just wondering if it's the same Brookie Barn
doors flipping around the.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Older.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
If it's not Brockie Bombay doors, then just say it's not. No, no,
because one because the one I'm thinking about was like,
it's like a pilot in the world, the famous pilot. Okay,
Rocky Bombay Doors.
Speaker 5 (12:56):
Well, I can see now how you thought I might be.
I can see how you got.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Also, Brookie Brombay Doors was a dude.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Oh really, yeah, didn't as opposed to Brookie barn Doors
flapping around on the breeze. Who's yeah, mother of three
anyway anyway, okay, so different to all of those people.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
This is this is Brookie Bay got you.
Speaker 5 (13:15):
Okay, Brookie Bay was quizzing, I don't know, don't know,
and then he gave me one more eyebrow. He gave
me a wink and then went upstairs. And that's all
the information that I did.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Hold the hands up and do a double clutch. He did.
He did.
Speaker 5 (13:28):
He put the glass down on the island and said,
don't mind these tap tap.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Did they did?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
They like like a like a like a crayfish or something?
Speaker 5 (13:36):
Yeah, And then flaws and then he went back upstairs
a crab plap.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
And then we did not hear it from him for
the rest of the night. Now that's that I've got.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Would have killed you to sneak up the stairs with
a glass put it against the door to try and
hear what was happening. Yeah, that's what a proper investigative
journalist would have done.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
I tried that, tried that. All I could hear was
ready to be playing through the wall.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
So he was running. So there was a movie plane.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
He's playing Rats, like Jeremy and TOSSI play.
Speaker 5 (14:04):
Oh that game where you kind of nibbled at each other.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
In the game where we play six Rats. Yeah, we
pretend to be rats. It's like role play, but we
pretend to be rats.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
And yeah, you love that game. Yeah, I don't know
if that maybe. Okay, so that's you don't need Red
to to play. Actually, I need to write this down.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
So first possibility urinate on each other, and then.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Possibility for playing Rats. Okay, it's one.
Speaker 7 (14:26):
One possibility playing when you bring cheese and he's highly evolved.
If he's playing Rats, of course you precious summer. But
they're not playing Rats. To get into Rats. About ten
years into relationship, I haven't played. You should play Rats.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
It's fun. One possibility.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
But but I thought you're asking us, but you must
have got a vibe.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I have no idea.
Speaker 5 (14:48):
This is why I'm so confused.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Well, you know, what it is. Everyone knows what it does.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Come on as them? Come on?
Speaker 1 (14:56):
What can I can I enlighten you? Please know what
you're thinking? Honestly, cherry? Were they blue? How tight with
the blue gloves? They're latex?
Speaker 4 (15:04):
Mate, then you don't have a flapping latex and not
like washing.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Up gloves like proper medical gray.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
You can't they can't.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
You don't want it to come off.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Do you think by any chance he was applying some
sort of careful either hair removal like with your vet.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Didn't explorer going with a here d eye?
Speaker 4 (15:27):
No, hang on, you can't come round and apply here
removal to a young lady.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
That's sometimes you need someone to help you. Maybe he
was trying to get some removed from his back, or
sometimes you.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Do a little's quick and be quite sixy actually if
you play rats.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
So maybe he was dying her hair?
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Okay, so that's possibility.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Numbers blue, the hair dye ones are often blue.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Was yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:51):
I mean, look, he sometimes wasn't a medical examination.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Because it's either for me, it's either either here dye
or tea actually vat, or he's shoving something up for us.
Those are the only three options. What was he doing
Granddad's bumm.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
So what was the third one?
Speaker 5 (16:07):
Sorry?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Shoving something over us because it's a great like with
Granddad's bum, he wore the gloves.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Okay, just for.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Assume knowledge here, you know, Jerry, maybe people haven't rust
into the thirty eight times you brought up grand video
you rented called Granddad's bum.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Well, okay.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Jeremy and his girlfriend pre Tulsi went to Video United
Video ponsby yep, and that was a good store man
with the intent of renting a.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Blue movie. Yeah this is these are pre internet days,
of course, and his.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
Girlfriend surprised him with her choice of blue movie something
that you wouldn't expect, and that was a video where
an old German Man had a series of things inserted
into his bottom while he went, oh yeah, fiercely.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Look, can I just go back a step? Sick because
we didn't know that he was German at the time, right,
You couldn't tell. It didn't It wasn't called ranch or
whatever it is bums for bum and German. It was
in English. It all looked, it all looked above board. Also,
was it.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Behind the curtain and video? You know the video?
Speaker 4 (17:21):
Yep, nothing behind those curtains. Was above board.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Yeah, no, I mean it was above board in terms
of we didn't know the realm that you're operating it.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
It didn't know that he was going to know. For me,
when I see an old man on the front of a.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
Adult DVD, I'm putting that back on the shelf and
picking one that doesn't even.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Know about a second you've got as the story goes,
and as you well know, you're pretending you don't know
this part of the story. But as you well know,
because as you've heard thirty eight times, you know that.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
It was not about me. I was not. I was not.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
It was I was not interested in older men or
anything like that that I don't want that.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
It was for her. She was she found she had
an interest in that sort of was the same girl
climbing through the window. It was the old man.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yeah, she likes the climbing through the window. But let's
not let's not go too deep be at this point
that she liked these old well I'm not going to
say that age because I think that kind of plays
these things a little bit too much. But look not old,
not old like she wasn't in her seventies.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
No, no, definitely not. And we're talking. No, not old
at all.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Well, we're talking back in DVD days. Yeah, we're talking
because there's only a very strange couple, even stranger than
renting Granddad's bum as the couple now that go out
and rent a DVD to get like as opposed to
just rustling up that kind of visual content on the internet.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
So anyway, Grande's balm and they put on gloves and look,
it wasn't Look it wasn't quite what I don't think
this person thought it was going to be.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
How much of it did you watch? Very little?
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Actually interesting there was. I wasn't really into it, so
I really couldn't watch it because it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Doing anything for me. What's it to be into things?
Put into.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Sound? But I could still hear the sound of it,
Oh yeah, because he had to bring the TV in
from the lounge on the trolley. Remember you used to
have TV's on trolleys.
Speaker 5 (19:17):
And so this is why I didn't think this was
going on in his room last night, because first of all,
I did not hear an o ya coming from the bedroom.
Oh yeah, it just doesn't give me a Grandad's bum
kind of vibe. Okay, if I'm being honest.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
You've tried it.
Speaker 7 (19:32):
Well.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
I wonder who you know, because if you're running a
DVD store back in the day, you had to order
the products in.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Right, so someone looked at the catalog and.
Speaker 4 (19:42):
Someone's going to want Grandheads Cico bought it out, I
mean before the people at the Sicko you being the
sicker that rented it. Who was the cig that ordered
it in? I reckon they may have had reps like
coming in and showing off the Granddad bums going off
down down the road. You guys are gonna be trouble
(20:03):
if you don't get five copies of Grandad's bum video
Easy Points.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Yeah, but you know there was easy Potster, not United Video.
Sorry I take video easy Post. But you remember the perverse.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
I used to work in those stores, and they'd seen
every single.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Matt Perkins exactly, Orlando Stewart.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Terrible people, David.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
So they have all seen every video that came into
that store pretty much.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
They got keV that used to ring you up when
you didn't hadn't returned your videos.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
KEIV a shocking perv rewound them, so they I bet
they know about Grandad's but.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Rewound your DVD. No videos.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Oh yeah, okay, they remember Granddad's bum.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
Yeah, I mean god, they probably remember when Newsboy from
the Heavican Newsboys Show rented it.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
I think I distanced myself slightly from the purchase. It
wasn't a purchase, rental.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Well, I think you do have a get out of
kail a little bit. Being a well known personality, people
would go, oh, he's renting that for something on the
Bloody TV show. It's probably a gag, you know what
I mean? Because I remember when a flat man of
mine who was quite a famous person, rented Coume Bath
Bonanza for him and his girlfriend. And he was saying,
(21:11):
and he was saying, because he was on TV at
the time, just to qualify see U M bath like
a come a bath of come not come not not yeah,
come on a bath of mate. I know, but but
he was concerned. He was concerned at the time that
being a well known TV personality rocking into video easy
(21:33):
ponts of bent and renting that DVD would look reflect badly,
reflect person badly on his personality.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Who wasn't I whisp brittin you here.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Just to sort of make a make see if you
can do like a mime.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I'll do a mime of what he looks like. Now, Okay,
because you you we've talked about it.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Okay, do you know what.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
You like?
Speaker 2 (22:03):
You're watching binoculars and then licking your lips.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, I'll have to tell you. Okay, can you do
another mine?
Speaker 5 (22:13):
These minds are good, We're great for the podcast audience. Yeah,
he's pulling us here and making a gormuous face. He
looks around bewildered. Well, but I think I know how
it does. Yeah, I think I know how it does.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I'll come around. What's brittin?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Okay, I can't go on you, No, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Yeah, googling. I can't think that's happened in years, Bonanza.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Really you were doing those agents, It's okay.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
And see what you're doing with the.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
The lips. Oh god, that was funny for me, I
knew that was very funny for everyone else.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
I can't.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
I can't reveal it outside of I can't.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Come So I guess are we have?
Speaker 4 (23:11):
We helped it all with your your latex globs and.
Speaker 5 (23:15):
God, I forgot we're talking about that. No yeah, I
mean no, not really. I mean Caleb, Brookie Bay and
I are going to have to sit down tonight bit
of a round table and discuss these.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Not Brockie Bomboy doors.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
No, not Brookie Barn doors flapping around on the breeze.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
No not Brookie Barn doors flipping around in the breeze. Okay,
Brockie Barn doors.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
No, not old Brookie branndors slipping around in the breeze.
Different Brookie Bay. Okay, you're confusing things, due, I wondered,
she does not make those noises?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
What it's good.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
It's good as sort of seasons broadcasting professionals and worldly
men that a young man like you coming up the
business knows that they can come to us and ask
us a question and we will give you sage advice.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
The worst answer imaginable. I mean, I've got nowhere. So
if you've given me fucking rad some kind of German
porn video where people you got grandad getting shoved up
in our Grandad's bum, and then how did we end
up in a come up bonanza, the four of us.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
I'm not sure Granddad's bum was a pawn movie.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
And then Matt talked about it. I'm fellows, you've helped me.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Did you ever see Edward Penis hands. Yes, I saw
it on the shelf, but I never actually saw it. Oh,
it seems like you did say it. Did you ever
rent Edward Penis Hans? No, did you ever go out
with anyone who rented it? By proxy? Not to the
best of my recollection?
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Okay, that's definitely not a no.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
That's what happens in those congressional hearings when someone goes
not to my recollection and you know that they're lying.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
That's a yst.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
That's a loud yess. No, I did not rent Penis.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
Jury's got a theory actually that that every single person
in New Zealand there's a three degree separation between him
and Edward Penis hands at some point, which I think
is actually good theory.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
By the way, seen it hands, I know I have
not seen it. It's worth to go it's a guy
with instead of having Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I
get it. Yeah, thank god. You shouldn't be called Dillians.
Yeah it was badly named. Yeah, all right, then we've
(25:17):
got to the bottom of that. Yeah, way to see
come bath bonanza.
Speaker 4 (25:21):
I'd love to hear on the Conclave, the met and
Jury Discussion group if if they felt like that question
was answered adequately.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
My reasonably sensible suggestion was some kind of fetish to
do with like a medical drama, say Shortland Street or
Gray's Anatomy.
Speaker 5 (25:35):
Yeah, see that was a good option. But again, I
just he didn't look like he had just made love.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
He really throws a spanner in the work. I'll tell
you what.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
On the Met and Jerry Radio Highlights podcast, we've got
a woman called Charlotte whipping a horse. All right, where
do you sit on horses? Boys on the saddle in
the middle. We've got the an increase in China's retirement age.
We've got the merits of Wales.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
We've got a.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
And we argue with the wales of Penis more genius
on the back of doc good stuff spending two hundred
and seventy thousand dollars to bury beach whales. So if
you have enjoyed what you've got here, you'll thoroughly enjoy
that good stuff. All right, thank you team, All right, okay, then.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Off for those that are wondering.
Speaker 5 (26:23):
By the way, we realize you said that the podcast
from Bebelly massive hr issues.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
So yeah, we managed to keep that one.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
Yeah, So that's just put that to be well, the
good thing we've got this this podcast currently operates in
a cone of silence, in a cone of I guess
what would you call it?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Like, I think we all agree.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
What goes on the podcast stays on the podcast and
in the bespokey dok community, you know, and then onto
the conclave.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Yep, you know.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
That's what we saw operate behind sort of a cloak
of secrecy, and that works well for us.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
But yeah, shall we finish?
Speaker 5 (27:00):
My god, I just got a text. Maybe talk about
that tomorrow. I've got answers around the blue gloves.
Speaker 4 (27:06):
Okay, okay, Tomorrow on the Daily Bespoke podcast we get
the answer to the question why was Mashi's flatmate coming
down from the room we had been with a young
lady wearing no out but blue l Can we call.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
The episode just mate coming one coming on wearing a
pair of blue lad I just want to also clear
up he wasn't wearing out.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
He was wearing he was fully closed. He wasn't wearing
all right, okay, okay?
Speaker 5 (27:42):
Or can you say something nice about Brookie Bay please
by the way doors?
Speaker 4 (27:46):
Okay, all right, Hello, I'm Matt Heath. You have been
listening to the Mat and Jerry Daily Bespoke podcast. Right
now you can listen to our Radio Highlights podcast, which
you will absolutely get bard up about. Anyway, set to download, like, subscribe, write, review,
all those great things. It really helps myself and Jerry
and to a lesser extent, Messi Ruder. If you want
(28:08):
to discuss anything raised in this pod, check out the Conclave,
a Matt and Jerry Facebook discussion group. And while I'm
plugging stuff, my book, A Lifeless Punishing Thirteen Ways to
Love the Life You've Got is out now get it
wherever you get your books, or just google the bastard.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Anyway you seem busy, I'll let you go. Bless blessed, blessed.
Give them a taste of keyw from me,
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