Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good wealth.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
What a bloody dream?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
What a dream? Welcome along to the unnamed podcast. It's Tuesday,
the fifteenth of October twenty twenty four.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
What was it called?
Speaker 1 (00:15):
It used to be called the Matt and Jerry Daily
Bespoke Podcast. Right?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Is that more or less catchy than the unnamed podcast?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I quite like the unnamed podcast? Man, Yeah, hey, quick
roll call Jeremy Wells prison. You're gonna start with yourself.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
I am okay, Jeremy Wells prison. Yeah, how else you
got Mania? Stuart prison?
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Wait?
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Hang on, this is our role calls with you to
your own.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I don't mind what order. I'm happy to go last.
I'm just not sure that I think what you do
is you go you go around clockwise. That's what you
do now?
Speaker 4 (00:49):
I thought the teacher at the front of class reads
out a whole list of names, and then you just go,
oh here or prison?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Or is this a sound off more than a roll calls?
More of a sound off? All of them? In that case,
you're gotta.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
Go sec Okay, Meshy present, All.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Right, mate, don't make it all about yourself. Manyah? Also here,
anyone else?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Paula Bennett here, Paul Morning lads.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Bree Thomas are welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
God, this is a dream. I've listened to this bloody
podcast for a long long time. One of the best.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Sorry, you would have listened to the talking about the
Matt and Jerry Daily Bespoke podcast. This is the unnamed
podcast New this is this is all new, all new.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
Good good that you guys got me on to get
the ratings up. So yeah, happy, happy to help out.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah, Well, you've got a book out, and you know,
I hate to judge a book by its cover, do it,
you know, but in the situation I'm going to I
love it because what I wanted to know was it's
called unapologetically me. Yes, and what you've done is you've
crossed out so it's apologetically me, but then you've written
(01:54):
one again.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Yeah. Yeah, you know you're one of the first people
to ask me what that means.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
What does that mean?
Speaker 5 (02:00):
It essentially means, I think, Jeremy, over the course of
my life, I was unapologetically me, and then I'd apologize
for who I was, and then I'd go back and forth.
And I tried to convey that in you know, the
well put together cover of that book.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Otherwise, like metaphorical illustration. You've done there?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah, no, no, is that what it is?
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Not? Almost it is what you've done. I like it.
Would you describe that as metaphorical illustration? It's not illustration
that because there's words.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Is it a similar it's not definitely using similarly.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I know what a similar is. It's using like or
airs as a comparison. For example, you would say he
looked at me like a snake looks at a frog
before it eats it. Right, you know that's that's or
or using airs as a comparison, whereas a metaphor is.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
When you say you're saying something is something else.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
An example of a metaphor.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
It's more it's more direct a metaphor.
Speaker 5 (03:05):
We want we want a metaphor pearl jam metaphor for
this new podcast, the new.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Podcast m h it's a mixed bag?
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Is it is a mixed bag? Would you say that
is a mixed bag of metaphor?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It's like a road with no destination.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
If you took a look at If you use like,
then that's a similar.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
You could use like in that situation.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Or you could say it is and then it's a metaphor.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
People will say, well, such and such as a metaphor
for life. So it's like it's it's not comparing something,
it's saying you're right, it's saying that something definitely is something.
This stification as well. That's the other problem that.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
I've gone for you. This podcast is the licorice all
sorts of podcasts. You never know what you're going to
get and chances are you won't enjoy it. But couldn't
you have said like that would be a similar do
you know what's underrated? What's an allegory?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And the category is a story using like using characters
to tell a tale. So it's like an allegory like
animal Farm, for example, is an allegory because it's using
it's it's it's replacing animals for characters inside of the
Russian Revolution. Yeah totally okay, So it's a story really
(04:24):
about the Russian Revolution, but an allegory is using other
characters to describe that story.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
In university, I took a I was forced to take
a course in grammar, syntax and punctuation, and I tried
to hook up with the professor so I could pass
that class.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
So this is bringing back a lot of memories for me.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Did you hook up with the professor? Did?
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I tried? He wasn't into it, so I failed that class.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Did you at least learn the difference between sort of
a comma, a full stop, and then a dash. I
don't really know when to use the dash if we're
talking punctuation and syntax.
Speaker 5 (04:59):
No. I learned what was appropriate and not appropriate to
do to a professor, but not that.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I want to know more about this professor because weird
as I've always wondered this, if you go to university,
obviously both the lecturer slash tutor and the student are
of consenting age. It's not like hooking up with a
teacher at school, which is very wrong, which is generally
(05:25):
not right. Although look, I have heard of some teachers
I know, but I have heard of some people hooking
up with teachers and it was all good.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
I think a blanket just no go, It's fine with that, Jerry.
I don't know if these people.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
Are a mature age student. We had one of those
at my high school.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Second year, seventh form sort of such would have been six,
wouldn't it.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (05:48):
And he, no joke, had a beard down to his
belly butt, and they.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Forced him to wear the school uniform.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
But why was he at school.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Because he was trying to get his high school to ploy.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Well, how old is he? I was speaking nineteen?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
But no, I reckon he was like forty eight.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Yeah, okay, but just do it at home, I know.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
And he'd walk around class and no one would sit
with him because we all thought he was like a
teacher that wore the school unifor it was weird.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
That's only in Australia with that happened.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
I felt so bad for the guy.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
That's horrific. Are you serious?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
I'm dead serious.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
That's such a weird thing to do. Just don't you
don't need to go to school to get your school stuff?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
You just do online.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
By correspondent just about to take his own kids at school.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
How were the people that you were saying that were
hooking up with teachers ago that you thought was generally
all good? Oh?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
I know a guy who hooked up with his female teacher.
In fact, I know a couple of people who've hooked
up with a female teacher that is all good. Same teacher.
It was yeah, good sa, same teacher. She was just
pretty much fresh out of teaching school whatever, it's called
teacher's training college college. And she was about twenty and
they were eighteen, Like, what's the problem with that? Sure,
(07:00):
And I don't think she took them for any classes.
She was just teaching at the school.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
She took them.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, is that a metaphor?
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Yeah, a few lessons.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Yeah, well but she actually literally did. So that's not
a it's not a metaphor, it's literal. Yeah, we're talking
about mesh. By the way, potentially.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
You going through that was she hot.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
I'm having lead your book here. I now understand what
you've because you've gone tales from my perfectly imperfected sorry,
tales from my perfectly imperfect life and then relating back
to the thing that Jerry asked you about was crossing
and then rewriting on all ties in So, Jerry, I
think if you actually thought about that and being crossed
out and replaced with that, and I think it would
(07:51):
have all made sense if you just read the Tales
from my perfectly imperfect life.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Well, I think you find I was getting theirs. You know,
I was a chance I was getting there before I
was really interrupted with the conversation about hooking up with
your teacher.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
No, you brought that up again though that wasn't really
that brought that up. You said generally it's not a
good idea, but I've got a couple of mates where
it's okay.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
So that was you that brought that up. Okay, Well,
I'm going to bring it back to a to a
serious question, and that is, Bree, why did you write
a book?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
What?
Speaker 1 (08:16):
And what started the idea about thinking about writing a book.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Look, I'll be honest with you, Jeremy. I needed the money.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Fair enough.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
I just recently bought a house and needed to pay
those bills.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
You have made any money off the book, then?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Is it not a not a cent? I'm actually in debt. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
That backfired on me bad, nah, I because I was
approached by the publisher from Alan and Umwen and I
told told her no, I a bunch of times and
I said to her I've never managed to read a book.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
And I mean she was a bit offended, which fair enough.
Speaker 5 (08:53):
And then I kind of thought about it and I
was like, Oh, if I'm going to write a book,
I have to get into the nitty gritty, dirty laundry
of it to hope maybe help someone, you know, And
hopefully sell a few books and make a bit of
money in the process.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
So are you the first person to write a book
without ever reading a book?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I could be, I could be.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
Is it weird sitting down and just thinking about your
whole life and then having to write it, because I imagine
you would have had to sit down and think about
everything that's ever happened to you, which is not something
that many people like to do.
Speaker 5 (09:25):
Nah, was the worst experience Ever's really hard writing a book.
It's real difficult because all the things you'd push way down,
which we all have those things, you know, we're like, oh,
I don't want to talk about that or think about
that again, Tea, that's what you have to talk about
and then put on a piece of paper.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
So it was a full on experience.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
But I've gotten a lot out of it too, Like
I feel like it's forced some conversations with people in
my family or people around me where we've learned more
about each other and it's made our relationships better. So
I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
It's anything in the book that someone set you up about,
I shouldn't because this heaman's on radio all the time.
You say something that someone hits you up with their
he's been talking about my high school.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yeah, I had to.
Speaker 5 (10:11):
Change names because there's yeah, there's certain stories where I
had to change names to protict some people. I went
to boarding school for grade ten, eleven, twelve, and in
the boarding school there's like different We had three houses
in the boarding school, and they lock you in at
nighttime obviously for like safety. And the boarding mistresses who
(10:32):
are like women who are going to UNI getting degrees
and they live at the boarding house for free. The
matrons the matrons and then they have to look after
us for certain you know, shifts and whatever. Anyway, I
made real good mates with this one who was like
you were saying before, Jerry. She was like only a
couple of years older than me, and her and I
really hit it off and we were good mates. And
(10:54):
I knew for a fact they all had a master
key to the entire school, right, so they had these
mass keys and we all knew about them. And I
said to her, I was like, how funny would it
be if you know, when you leave obviously.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
When you finish your degree and you go off to you.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
Know work, would it be if you just happened to
lose that master key, and you gave it to me.
And at the end of one term, I was packing
up my room and one of the picture frames I
had on my desk, I picked it up and she
tate this master key to the back of the picture well,
and no shit, I felt like Wally fucking Wonka because
(11:30):
I had this master key where I could open any room,
any place in the school.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Where'd you go?
Speaker 5 (11:36):
I told us, select group of girls in the boarding house,
and we'd go off to parties on the weekend, or
we'd like go to the pool at nighttime sometimes with
the boys' boarding house. Like we could go anywhere we
wanted it.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
So that was a reliable kind of silence, so I
didn't get outside of your friend group.
Speaker 5 (11:53):
Yeah, we passed it on after when we left, when
we graduated, we passed it on to a group of
girls X group of girls, and I'm pretty sure they
got busted.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
But I love that. That's exactly the type of thing
that you should do at boarding school because there's very
much I went to boarding school as well, and there's
very much a us versus their mentality that's going on totally.
It's the students it's a lord of the flies.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Yeah you are.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
It's the students versus the teachers and the tutors. But
the tutors, as you said, are the that they've got
a foot in both camps because they're a little bit younger.
Some of them have only just got out of school.
Some of them in our schools or schools that I
went to schools because I was expelled from one. But
(12:41):
they they used to go to the school and so
they can remember what it used to be like, and
they want to make life better for you.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
I know what you're going through. I want to know
what you've got to expel for.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
It's a bloody long story. We got time. It's a
long story. It involves a cap of hash oil and
drug rehab center and some community experience. That's one of
the great story. It's a long like a bloody good story.
It's a long story.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
In fact, I think you could probably fill in the
blanks though it was from there.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
They can't. I guess, yeah, it's I mean, will take
a break, and I mean, if you want, I'll quickly
tell you I'd love to hear it. Okay, we'll take
a break and we'll come back and I'll tell you
what it is. Welcome back. We've got brief Thomas on
on this show. It's nice to have you, Bree. Great
to be here, and we're just talking about borning school.
(13:37):
I didn't realize that you're at boarding school for four years.
Which school were you at in Australia.
Speaker 5 (13:41):
I was at a very prestigious school, Saint Peter's Lutheran College, Lutheran,
which we weren't Lutheran, but it was I forced my
parents to send me. I know it's not always the
case in families. Normally they send away the kids. But
I was playing a lot a high level sport, and
I grew up in rural Queensland and my mum was
(14:04):
traveling hours and hours in the car all the time
for all this training. So eventually I was like, oh,
send me to boarding school and then I'll be there
for the training.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I live there.
Speaker 5 (14:12):
Yeah, did you like it? It was good and bad points,
good and bad points. I feel like those last special
last couple of years of high school looked pretty tough
for anyone because it's quite stressful, so not having your
family around is pretty difficult.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
But I got into quite a bit of trouble well, it's.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Hard not to because the kinds of things that you
normally do, and the weekends during the week was it
a was it a strict boarding school.
Speaker 5 (14:37):
It was pretty strict day like the boarding The head
of the boarding school really didn't like me.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
One.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I was hooking up with her son behind her back,
which she found it.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
I thought she didn't know until the very last couple
of months I was there, so but maybe she had
an inkling and I was just yeah, I was just
causing havoc at that place. At one point, I pulled
off a fire hose from the wall in this boarding
house and I've walked walked it down into one of
the cubicles where my friend was and I said, and
I sat there, and she looked at me, and she goes,
(15:09):
you won't you one, I said, yeah, I will. And
I turned this fire hose on and I didn't realize.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
How strong it would be.
Speaker 5 (15:18):
It blew every picture off the wall and just soaked
everything in the room inside.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Inside, it was inside, it was inside. I was naughty.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
You're crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yeah, I was like a cage animal.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Oh my god, you're crazy, I thought. When you first
started telling that story, I imagine I still thought quite
shocking taking the fire hose down into the ablutions block.
Speaker 5 (15:38):
But it was like no, no, you're inside, yeah, inside
the building.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
The seventh form was at my school because it was
so cold down south, they would take their fire hose
off in the middle of the night and they would
soak where you have to walk into school because it's
on a bit of a lean. Then they'd set up
the top and watch kids just ass over as they're
walking into skills overnight, free solid, so kids are hop
it off the bus.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
What was good?
Speaker 3 (16:01):
So you if you got to school and the seventh
formers are sitting up on top watching just like watch
out man, because you are you like prisoners, you've got
nothing but time to think about dumb shit. I did
a year and about boarding school as well, and you
just think of the dumbest possible things to do. Apparently,
before I was there, the seventh formers were brewing beer
and they were hiding it in the sort of ceiling.
(16:24):
This little home brew kit sat Gibbon's College and myro
and the matrons founder and they were all right, what
do we do here? They put laxative into the brew
and lift it and waited for all the kids to
start shedding themselves and then rounded everyone up who was
off crook and said, we know that you've all been God.
Speaker 5 (16:44):
That's so that's brilliant, way better than you know, getting suspended.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
That's a real life lesson.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
Yeah, you know, wow, that was That was like President
Warden stuff.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
On. Yeah. My boarding schools that I went to, the
first one, Morgan Collegiate, was quite strict and it was
based on an English boarding school, right, and it was
started in the eighteen sixties, so it was one of
the oldest. I think it's the second oldest school in
New Zealand, and it was very much based in the
British system, so you always were wearing school uniform no
(17:19):
matter where, if you walked around the school, you had
to be in uniform, even at night. On Wednesdays, you
went to school till lunchtime and then you played. You
had games in the afternoon, which was quite cool. But
unfortunately on Saturday mornings you went to school, so you
had Saturday morning school. Because it was a boarding school,
the whole school. They had two day boy houses and
(17:41):
they had seven boarding houses including it.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Was a huge boarding school, well huge.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Not even that big, but I think there were maybe
six or six hundred people at the school. Maybe all borders,
but pretty much all borders, yeah, apart from two day
boy houses which were not very big, and a few
day girls as well, but it was super strict. But
it was very much teachers versus pupils. And we had
a thing in our house, lots of traditions because it's
(18:09):
such an old school. We had a thing called the
Pillaring Squad, and the Pillaring Squad were the two biggest
fifth years is what they were called the school because
it was pretending to be English, which was which is
seventh form or year thirteens, the two biggest year thirteens
in the house and then the two biggest year twelves
in the house normally rowers. And after house meeting at
(18:31):
nine o'clock after prep, there would be house meeting. The
house master would come down and do what he needed
to do with them, and then he would walk off,
and then the head of house would take over for
the second part of the house meeting, which was kind
of run by the head of house and the house prefix.
I don't know why, it just was and at that
point if there was, if there'd been anything serious, and
when I say serious, I'm talking about stealing was the
(18:53):
main reason the pillaring squad would be called into action.
Then the pillaring squad would be summons to the front
of the to the meeting, and then the person who
had done the stealing would be singled out and they
would say, for example, Menie Stuart, you've been caught stealing
by you know, guys, we don't condone stealing in the house.
(19:15):
We can't have people stealing from other people. We need
to look after each other and trust each other. Was
this a student lead board or was it a This
was definitely not school lead. That student lead a stradition.
And in our house, in our day room, we had
these pillars that were weight bearing pillars, and they were
they went all the way to the roof and they
(19:35):
had halfway up them, so up to about probably six
foot was was carpet and they were carpeted around the
around the outside of them. And then they had a
like a like a like a room, like a wooden
kind of room which which stopped, which is where the
carpet turned to concrete, and it was probably yeah, about
five feet up maybe, and the pillowing squad would each
(19:57):
grab an arm and a leg of the person who
was committed the indiscretion, and they would be run into
the into the pole, legs legs first into the pole
and then up and down the pole. Generally three times
in the house would count. And it was it was,
(20:17):
it was mainly it was mainly humiliation worth a small
part pain, but the pain was definitely less. You think,
oh that's it wasn't running as hard as what you think.
It was mainly the count. It was mainly the house
versusless person, and a humiliation and fear that you would
(20:37):
not want to be embarrassed.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
That would be here and sounds called pillaringloring. We had
dorm raids. Did you have dorm raids? So this would
be when the seventh if you've done something to piss
the seventh formers off, or any older form that'd come
through in the middle of the night and they'd put
soap bars in their rugby socks and they just whack
you with the soap bars, come through and then and
(21:00):
didn't disappear off into the night. And if you ever
locked your door because of it, they'd find a copy
of the key come back the next day. Even yeah,
because if you're lying in bed under a blanket. They're
gont a soap bar and a rugby sock. Doesn't leave
a bruise or anything. Just scares the pass out here
in the middle of the night.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
This is a great ad for boarding schools, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Well, I understand things have changed. My son's about to
go to boarding school next year. He's you know, he
wants to go much like you. Yeah, it was not
a I mean I was forced to go to boarding school.
But he genuinely has always wanted to go to boarding school.
Speaker 5 (21:31):
God knows why why does he want to go?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Hate my partner?
Speaker 3 (21:37):
He'll think the way I thought that it was just
going to be like a sleepover with your mates forever.
You know, this would be fun to just hang out
with all my mates. I was like, you grew up
in like, you know, a little small town. I was like,
this would be great. I'll be around heaps of people.
Then after the first year, I was like, actually, I'm
not allowed to go anywhere. I'm not allowed to do anything.
As I said, dudes have beaten me up with soap
bars and socks.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
You're like a prisoner.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
The eriction inspection was the other one, so an hour
after lights off, an hour after lights off, the seventh
form would flick the lights back on right erection inspection.
Everyone has to jump up and stand at the end
of the room in the hallway there.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Yeah, well, we know what this is about.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
And if we can tell.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
That's really masking.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Because all that would happen is you'd will be standing
there and then one of the kids would be standing
there with his pillow just starting in front of them.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
Any ramifications for those that were pitching.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
No, just just just artic humiliation be whacked off by
one of the seniors.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
That's what happened in that situation.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
So do you talk about all that stuff in your.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
The first chapter? Yeah, no, I love it. No, you
were meant to tell us why you got expense.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
I probably have to take another break, would we have to?
Speaker 1 (22:49):
We do take a break and come back with that
at the moment. And more from Brie Welcome back. We've
got Bree Thomas on the the podcast. She's got a
new book out called Unapologetically Me. Tales from My Perfectly
Imperfect Life Come some tales from boarding school.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Yeah, there's those stories are in the book.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
Oh my god, I ship myself the other day because
well sometimes it happens. You know it is no but
I was posting about the book for the first time
and the headboarding mistress who I mentioned before, who I
was dating her suh. I have not talked to her,
have not seen her, have not heard a peep out
of her since I left boarding school. And she comments
(23:36):
on the on theos and goes, I'm going to be
the first one out to go by. Oh my god,
all these stories about me and her son and all there.
So I can't wait to get a message from her
she's read it.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
I think a lot of guys think girls boarding house
and they just think hot girl on girl action left,
right and center is what I think. You know, it's messy.
He's been if you gave an erection inspection to MESHI
right now, all buggary and they think they think lots
(24:16):
of girls pillow five.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:19):
Look, I don't want to break anyone's dreams, but it's
a bunch of weird country kids that are awkward and
you know, not all that attractive, just the weird.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Kind of kids kicking around.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
I had to break disappointing. So I promised that I
would tell the my expulsion story. I mean, the thing
is I'm not super proud of this. It's not something
I'm proud of. I need to say before you start
the story. Okay, all right, because it doesn't. It doesn't,
it's not.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
There's a reason.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Very good, Are you sure you want to tell this?
Speaker 3 (24:50):
There's a reason you're expelled for it?
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Yeah, there is a reason is expelled. So we were
at the end of six form, at the end of
your twelve everybody at our school wanting to collegiate had
to go and do community experience, and you had a
choice of places that you went to go that you
could go to, and they were like a rest home
and a drug rehab center and just out of wanting
(25:13):
to Martin and then Lake Alice Mental Institution at the time,
which now has been shut down and amid allegations of
propriety and proper electro propriety, electro shock treatment, boom, all
sorts of crazy stuff.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
They still do lobotomies, No, although every now and then
when I'm hungover, I wish they were.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I think they'd still do a bit of ect though
in places.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
So anyway, we got to choose and I was like, okay,
because I was at boarding school. Some of them you
just went from boarding school and you went there for
the day and then came back. Others like the one
they did drug treatment center in Martin you went and
you stayed in and I motel for the week away
with no teachers.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
By yourself.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Oh how good?
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Why yourself with the other kids. So there were four
of us that you know went on this month.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
And how old would you have been?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
So? So? Year twelve? So I was? I was. I
was sixteen at the time.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
End of year.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
You've done your exams, everything's finished, and they're going to
put you up in a motel for you up in
a motel for I had a good year. I've been
sent down there because my mom had found some marijuana
on my top drawer. She was freaked out. She's like
getting away from the city and the drugs. She never tried.
I didn't know anything, so she sent me down there anyway.
(26:39):
But I've been good to be like, no, no, I've
had an opportunity here and I had a good year,
and I hadn't smoked any drugs. I hadn't smoked pot
all year, and I hadn't really had the opportunity. Also
didn't want to fair enough, so I thought to myself, well,
now there's a good opportunity. Though the year is over,
there's going to be no teachers in the situation you're
(27:00):
in a motel with your mates. Tried to get myself
a tin he couldn't get a tinney. So someone said,
but I do have this cap of oil. So I
bought a cap of oil. Not what I wanted.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
You remember how much you pay for it?
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Yeah, it was. It was twenty bucks.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Okay, twenty bucks.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Twenty bucks for a cap of hash oil. It's quite
a lot. That feels like a lot. Point what is
what is hash oil?
Speaker 3 (27:24):
The Indian night is what it is?
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Indian awful stuff. So anyway, I got the've got the
got the cap of oil. Went along, went along to
the couple of days of the rehab thing. It was
quite interesting, made some friends and and I actually I
enjoyed it and it was good. It was interesting to
meet a whole lot of people who had stories.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
So you're going in there by day, then at night
you're on the hash oil.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
That was my plan, you know, because because we were
because we'd finish at about six or seven, and then
we'd have the whole night just hang out, you know,
and we got money for takeaways and all that sort
of stuff. It was perfec act.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Then of where you would go during the day, and.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
I was keeping it sep so. So anyway, about day
three I hadn't actually had any of the of it.
We hadn't really had the opportunity because were coming back
a lot later than I thought. And maybe it was
day two, it was it was I can't remember which
day it was. And I'm just about to leave the
inn a drug treatment center and go back to the motel,
(28:27):
probably to you know, have this hash will and and
one of the patients comes up to me, one of
the patients, one of the people that were the things,
said I heard you've got some I heard you've got
some stuff. And I said no, and he goes, oh,
that's not what your mates told me. And I said, no,
I don't have anything, and he goes, you wouldn't lie
(28:47):
to me, would you. And this guy was reasonably not intimidating,
but everyone's inating when you're six, And I said no, no,
I don't, and he goes, well, you said that you've
you've got it with you. And unfortunately one of the
other guys who I was with maybe thought he was
doing me a favor or something by saying that I
had this when he was approached by one.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
Of the people, or he would have talked to him
and he would have gone, I used to have a
crippling addiction of hash oil, and you're not gonna believe this, Jerry.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
So I said no. Then he sort of was it
was reasonably coercive, and I was like, oh, and mildly threatening,
and and I sort of in the end I said, look,
I do, but I don't want to give it to you.
I was I did have morals. You know, I'm not
going to want to give drugs to a rehab person.
I'm not interested in doing that. That was not my
(29:36):
that was not what I am, not my intent. In
the end, I just said I've got a bit much
for me, and I was like, I felt like I
was caught in a rock in a hard place. And
then then I put on the ground. I said, if
you want to pick it up, pick it up. I
don't want anything to do with it anymore. I don't
want to be beaten up for this. I don't want
to give it to you. I don't want money, I
don't want anything.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
You were caught between a drug and a drug addict.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
He picked it up. I went at home. He then
had it. So he did have it, yeah, and and
got wasted and started wandering around. He told people what
had happened, and he outed you, and then he told yeah,
he outed me to people. No, he outed me to
some of the other patients, who then told the administrators.
(30:24):
And so I went home feeling terrible and guilty, but thought, oh, well,
it's not my problem. What happens, happens is not my problem.
When I came in the next morning, I just people
were just looking at me, everybody, sixty patients there, all
just shaking their heads. I felt the hate. Oh my god,
I've never felt so much hate in my life, and
I've felt some hate. I'd never felt so much hate.
(30:47):
And then just nobody's talked to me, and I'd made
some friends and stuff, and I was like, oh no,
I just felt that, but like I was so hollow,
and I felt like all my inside had been carved
out awful feeling. And then we had our meeting and
morning meeting and they went through the Edmond and then
they said Jeremy could just stand up please, And I
stood up and I just went, oh, I know what's
(31:08):
happening here. And then they went, you know, would you
like to tell us what happened last night? And I said, was.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
This in front of everyone or just the whole.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
You don't know what they know though at the stage
I knew.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I knew, and I maybe one of the people had
said something to me or idiot, I can't remember. But
then I said, I said what I'd done. And then
and then they said, well, you understand what you've done.
You've put drugs into a drug rehab center. That's the
worst thing you could ever do. And I was like
I and I was in tears. I was in a
(31:45):
terrible way. And then one by one, about ten people
stood up and just gave me hell fair enough. Fuck
I got nailed, you know, and I've done a terrible thing,
And I knew. I felt so thin, I felt like
a piece of paper. It was just the their comments
(32:07):
were just going through every part of me. It was awful.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
That's yeah, that is a metaphor. I feel like that's unfair.
Speaker 5 (32:14):
Though you were just a kid, you know, when you
had this dude who was like intimidating, like threatening you.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Well, thank you, but I still had done what i'd done,
you did.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
Take drugs, and there's sort of like one big rule
at the rehabs exactly.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Now there is. And then so then the guy who
was in charge of the rehab cinder. Then after the
humiliation of that meeting, then we had to sing Lord,
grant me serenity, the things I cannot change, change the
things I can, and the courage to make a difference,
make a difference.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Your sins washed away.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Yeah, meanwhile I'm crying. And then took me into the
into his office and study and he said, look, I
understand these people can be increatibly persuasive.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
And then he's like, you know, are you a drug addict?
And I'm not a drug because I think you've probably
got some problems. Just straight onto the counseling and he said,
don't worry, I'm going to talk to the school. I've
got obviously tell the school what's happened, but I'm going
to talk to them. They'll understand what's going on. And
I thought they will not understand. And then about an
hour later, like the dipity headmaster turns up picks me up.
(33:19):
Mister Dickinson, who was just a tough, tough old man
and he drove me back to school and he did
not say a word. It was like forty minute drive,
not a single word. And then they put me into
the sanatorium, which was you know, the sick base. Ye
locked me in there, bought my food in and out.
I wasn't allowed to see anyone, talk to anyone. They
(33:39):
went through my all my room, chit it for drugs
and all that sort of stuff, fully sweept it swept
at nothing in there. Of course. Then my parents came
down to try and not get me expelled. And I
walked into the headmaster's office. There's my parents and they're
just shaking them. Oh my parents were they were so
oh my god. I can never forget the lock on
(34:00):
their face. It was horrific. And then the head master
said you've expelled, and I walked out, and I think
the head master assumed that my parents would then take
me home. My parents then said to me, well, you
knew the rules. You came down here. We gave you
one chance. You're on your own. Good luck. I hope
you don't let other people down like you've let us down.
And then they drove off there. I wasn't by myself.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
They just love the motel room. No, no, no, because
that wasn't bloody Martin. But those guys were still there
at they were still at the bloody rehab center. And
then so I said to stay one more night in
the senatorium. And then and then a train ticket was
booked for me by the school.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
Because not even your parents, they were just like.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
They were gone. They flew back to Auckland. They were not.
And they left me in the car park just outside
the bloody head masters off they drove off in the
rental car.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
Dramatic from the parents. They found weed once and then
they found weed twice.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Though it did they were practicing what they thought was
tough love. And then and then that was me. And
then I got a train back to talking and stay
with my friend for a couple of months. I got
a job.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
That was it. So you didn't go back to school
after that?
Speaker 1 (35:08):
No, Then it was school holidays because it was the
end of the year. And then I had school holidays
where I worked and stuff, and then at a dry cleaner.
And then and then.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
You went to my dad.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
I thought to myself, I'm stubborn. And I thought to myself,
you you get rid of me. I'm going to teach
you a lesson, and so I just didn't communicate with them.
I didn't want to communicate with them. I'm like, I'll
get a job, I'll be fine, thanks very much. I
had a great time. I actually had a great time
not living with him.
Speaker 4 (35:33):
And then did you stumble across mikey ever soon after?
Speaker 3 (35:35):
Oh that was a few years later, even worse, he
stumbled upon Mike Lane. Yeah, and actually, ironically, ironically, that's
done more damage to you than any drugs.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Two weeks later I stumbled upon from and then my
father finally reached out and said, look, we want to
have a chat to you, and I was like, I
was like, I don't know if I want to talk
to you. Actually, I was like playing hard to get
He's like, come on.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
How long did that go on for where you didn't
talk to him? And you were just like, no, I'm
all good school holiday.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
So from probably the mid November I reckon, end of
mid November, I reckon. It was till January, till past
my birthday, till about mid end of January.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
That's a long time.
Speaker 5 (36:14):
A that's such an amazing origin story as to how
you met Mike. Mike Lane in the drug rehab center
and gave him the hash and then you ended up
working together.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
It's wild.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
So long to tell that story.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
So will that story being your book, then.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
It's going to sell more books than what wong.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Hey, Bri, thank you so much for coming in. Best
of luck with everything. I hope the book goes well.
Hope you sell millions and millions of copies.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
It's the dream, that's the dream. Thanks so much for
having me.
Speaker 5 (36:46):
This was a lot of fun, and now I know
probably too much about you, Jeremy, and way too much
about what was.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
The direction direction inspector.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Well, you have to come back at some stage, and
then we have to get into some of this hot
girl on girl actual.
Speaker 5 (37:01):
I promise, I promise, if you guys get me back,
I'll tell you all the nitty nitty titty.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
As I like to call it.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
If the netty titties in the book, I will teach
myself how to read it.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
I think we could get it back in tomorrow, tomorrow,
same time, same place.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
Thanks, Thanks guys,