October 3, 2024 • 36 mins
Join Matt and Jerry for their final episode of the Daily Bespoke Podcast as they celebrate an amazing 11 years together and share their thoughts on what’s next for the team...
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello you great New Zealanders. Matt Heath here.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
This is my last week on this podcast, sadly, but
if you're not sick of me and you want more
of my weekly content, you can follow my weekly substack
mailout article at Matdheath dot substack dot com. This week
I discussed fighting fomo after my friends betrayed me and
went to Germany without me. You Jerry, g Laane, Joseph
(00:22):
and Maniah, I love you, but you hurt me. Anyway
you seem busy, I'll let you go to Matteath dot
substack dot com. Bless, Bless, Bless the fourth of October
(01:05):
and the Year of Our Lord twenty twenty four. Welcome
all you bespokey dokies to the last daily bespoke podcast
with me.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Mad Oh, that's me, mad he I don't know why
I see that anyway.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
With with me referred yourself from a third person. It's
time to start referring to yourself from a third person.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
It'll it'll obviously this this this potal We'll go on
and to greater things, but.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
I'll miss this.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
The podcast has been you got the radio show, but
then this podcast has been one of my great joys
what we've done with the podcast, and I just love
it just that that came along where we could actually
talk whatever shit we felt like talking for a long
time in a row without having to go to ads
(01:58):
or songs, and arguably the most self indulgent podcast that's
ever existed.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Like just just Us.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
And to be able to broadcast to such a on
this pod to so many people, and people come up
to me and they talk about this podcast more than
they talk about anything. So how good was that that
came along? At some point we were always doing the pod,
but then we started just doing this and that's but
it's just I mean, I'll listen back to these pods
(02:31):
sometimes and just I laugh, and then I always have
huge regret because I go, I miss the jokes that
you guys say because I'm off blasting.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Off on my own.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
That real good thing, And then I'll hear just a
great joke from one of you guys, or you know,
a great piece of insight, and I've just missed it
because I'm talking about my downstairs or something.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
You know.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
I think that on this podcast, truly get to be yourself,
and that's why I think it's become popular. I think
it's because it's the totally unedited, unfiltered, unfiltered go wherever
you're like, which means that sometimes it ends up being
kind of.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I mean that you get loads and highs exactly some
of the worst, some of the best, but oddly and
she always says at the end of the stupidest ones,
the ones that are just so dumb and long and ridiculous,
and goes, that'll be the one that blows up, not
not the one where we're off coming with something prepared,
(03:38):
we want to do this.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
People don't care about those ones. It's the ones that
are just so you know.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
And it's like, what I love about our listeners is
they'll just message that was so punishing.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
And they mean that as a complimence.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Yea, I love the book. I love the ones that
we get to the end of it. And then she
will go, you boys happy with that one? And there
was delete that delete that Are you happy with that one?
Speaker 1 (04:07):
That's a great question that it's like, how could you
be happy with that?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Last night I was having a listen to the first
podcast that I mean, like Maddy, sorry, make it about
myself here that I was ever a part of, and
it was a podcast back in what probably twenty twenty one.
I mean, you guys were talking about it town the
show actually going up on the Tangineer. If you haven't
listened today's radio show, we're just coming out the back
of that now in terms of the actual time. So
(04:32):
that's why we're all a bit sniffy still because the
end of the radio show was quite something else. But
you can hear that on the Radio Lights podcast. But
I listened back to the first time I was a
part of the show, and it was like what you
it was a podcast where you were talking about Lislie Nelson,
It's nice Beaver part from and you met it were
(04:53):
taking me and wonder if it was the first time
we had I sat and actually either you guys said,
you know, come in and give it a going and
made you said, you know, you were asking that you
were playing that bit of audio and over and over again,
and then Jerry was on the other side of the
room playing some kind of the Beaver the New Zealand
Jairs musician and it was just twenty five minutes, tenty
minutes of absolute carnage and it took me back. But
(05:16):
you guys have always it's always been the best, and
people have always said that is when it's just you two.
And it's funny because I don't think. I don't think
you guys actually do take it for granted, because I
think you know that down that people might be listening
and what it means to people.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
But god, it means a lot what you.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Guys do in my life.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
And this sounds like a yeah, trite thing to say,
but I've grown so much as a person to the
point where I can actually appreciate eight things. I mean,
Jerry will be a test. We'll be able to attest
to this that there was a time in my life
when I was just an open wound, you know, and
it took me a long time to work out how
(05:55):
to actually control my emotions to the point where I
can enjoy things to be like, that's terrible, that's terrible.
Everything I've done is terrible and to the point, and
I've done this everything I've done in my life. Like
I watched this film I make or the Devil Did
Me to the other day and I went, oh, that's
quite a good film. And from the second we finished
filming right through. I mean, I write about it in
(06:15):
my book about how I was booing it when we
were watching it in Munich. It was on it was
we were doing a traveling the world and we were
doing a you know, before and after, you know, question
answer this kind of thing packed theater in Munich, and
I decided the film wasn't good enough, so I was
booing it and security tried to lead me out, and
(06:37):
I was like that for the for the longest time.
And it's taken me a long time to be able
to actually appreciate things. And I feel like I've been
able to do that on the show where I've actually
looked around and looked up, you know, and gone, I'm
so lucky.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
This is great.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
It's a real privilege and it's good. Even though it's shit,
it good And I think in my everything I've done
it's been good and.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Ships that's kind of.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
What it is.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
But this is but you guys are and on you
like minded people in that regard that that it that
it now is important and it is what it is,
what it is, and it's got it's worth in its
own right and it's worth in the moment and all
those those kind of things, you know. So I feel
(07:26):
grateful as I leave that I did actually remember to
enjoy it, and I won't be walking around for the
first time and going that was ship. I don't listen
to it like everything else I've gone is don't watch it,
don't listen to it, you know what I mean. I
don't know why I was like that, but thankfully, over
the eleven years of doing the show, at some point
(07:48):
I had some kind of awakening.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
I think it's actually after my mum died.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I sort of had this awakening in life that you
know that you're lucky to be here, and you're lucky
to be with the people you are because they're not
here for ever. Nothing's here for ever, even your mum's
not here forever. Yeah, yeah, I don't know what. No,
I know exactly what you're trying to say.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
I think you're you're a fascinating case medic because you're
your head. I mean, fuck, there's a head I'd like
to be inside. It moves at one hundred and eighty
kilometers now and I can.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Only imagine why.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Help yourself?
Speaker 4 (08:22):
And it's one of your greatest strengths is how quick
quickly your mind moved. But I can only imagine over
the last you know, thirtyars as well the fact that
it moves so fast. It's also created a whole bunch
of problems when it comes to overthinking and persism and
self doubt and all that.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Kind of stuff as well.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
So yeah, I can see, mate, that's fucking crazy.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
I mean, I was gonna say. I remember probably about
the third podcast I sat in with you guys, and
there was one point the first couple I'd try and
wheezle my way in and say a few clever and
insightful things, and then the third one was either about
a book or a movie, and just watching you two
go like table tennis, and I just felt like the
(09:02):
fucking stupidest stuff felt in my life. And I said
to myself, you're gonna sit back and you're just gonna
shut the fun and watch this happen because you've got
I was like, I have absolutely zero to add to this, So.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
I'm not living going to barkin bother. Yeah, for me, the.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Radio show is one thing. You know, like doing radio
shows as one thing, because but as you've said before,
there's a whole lot of is it artifice is that
the word that you use, there's a whole lot of
things that go around it, and whereas this is so raw.
And the greatest part about this is it's a real
it's a real flex of your brain power and a
(09:41):
weird not a flex. It's not the right word. It's
not a flex like a like have a look how
big this is. It's a flex like a stretch is
what it is. Not a flex. It's it's like it
stretches you out in this way because you come up
with one idea and then maybe we'll ruminate on that
idea for a period of time. But there's no pressure
to ruminate on that idea. There's no pressure to have
an out for it. There's no pressure to come up
(10:03):
with a line at the end of it that's some
witty quip that ties everything up and then into a
song and leaves people feeling away. You have lots of
time to create a vibe rather than just three and
a half minutes. And as a result, because there's no pressure,
and then what often happens is it's organic and the
fact that that idea will lead to another idea, will
lead to another idea, will lead to us being on
(10:25):
a computers because you've got the time to look something
up and then talk about that.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Your blast and audio and in one ear, and it's so relaxing.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Yeah, it's actually mentally very relaxing after you've done what
we think is some kind of tight radio show other
people are listening to going.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Is that your version of time?
Speaker 3 (10:41):
But to us it kind of was because it didn't come.
We didn't start in the world of commercial radio. We
started in the world of punishing student radio, where you
just went on and talked shit, and so it's nice
to go back to that. And we almost feel like
every day we do go back.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
And it might sound silly, but both you and I
do like craft. We do like to get good at something,
or we do like the turning like a like a
train set. We like to tinker, and we've tinked and
tinked and tinked. But I've you said this to me
once quite early on, Jerry, you said, we're pack animals.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
That's what you and me are.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
We like to run with a pack, like we're weird
ohs and stuff, but we always try and form a pack.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
And I think that's the most important thing in life.
It doesn't really.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Matter the ratings or what you're where you're going, and
what you're trying to achieve or the success or. Even
it's like a mcguffin in a movie, it's just what.
It doesn't matter. By the time end of the movie,
that doesn't matter. You find the thing and by then
you've grown so much that you don't care. And I
just wish I'd known that earlier in life. But I've
(11:49):
known it long enough now that it's the running with
the pack doesn't matter. You're chasing a rabbit, chasing whatever.
You don't even need to get there. It's it's the
day today. Running with the pack is the most important thing.
And whatever workplace you're in, you're selling nails, or you're
you know, on a on a site, or you know,
(12:10):
you're in the van work van, it's that's the that's
the thing, that is it, That's that's life, that's it.
That's your family, and it's the people you're worth. It's
not where you're going. And I know it's a cliche,
but soon, the sooner you find that out, the sooner
it's great. You've got to have the target, the target.
You've got to have the target because other we're not
(12:31):
going to come together every day in this We've got
something to do. So humans need something to do. But
it's the doing it with the other humans that is
the thing.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
That's particularly so No, that's exactly that's exactly right. You're right.
It doesn't matter what you're doing. Yeah, it actually doesn't matter.
And the fact that we had a goal and ultimately
we never got we never we never got our goal.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
We're not we got no closer we got so we
were on a treadmill.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
We never got any closer to our goal. I'm not
even going to share with our goal. I'm not even
going to see that because it's like we got my god,
we never got anywhere near it. But I feel like
we got somewhere, and the place that we got to
was as good. But you're right about running with other people,
(13:17):
and it's sharing in other people's joys, and it's it's
sharing other people's bad birds and then coming back from
that and all that sort of stuff like that's actually
the stuff that.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Means more to you that you guys reached out to
my sons that you knew me so well to end
the radio show with my sons, that after all the
time and everything we've done, you knew me enough to
know that that was me.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Yeah, ond per one hundred percent and you know, I
found it very hard to talk about all that stuff
because I find it hard, I find it deeply emotional
because I know how much that means to you, and
because you know, I think it means a lot to
you every But as I was saying to you, the
thing that has always impressed me the most is like,
(14:05):
not only you're just complete love for your kids, but
also the way that you you know every you remember
everything about their lives. I've never met a dad who
like you could recount if I said to you, now, okay,
I want twenty funny, interesting, heartfelt stories about Charlie, and
(14:28):
then I went twenty about Barry. You'd go bomb bomb
bomb bomb. You'd be able to rattle them off so
fast you carry them around with you right in the
front of your memory. That's heavily with you. It's not
at the back, it's right in the front. And the
way that you have bought those kids up not only
being the most polite, lovely maned kids, but they are
(14:49):
interested in the world just like you. They love everything
that they they're doing lots of stuff. They understand the
joys of the world, they understand the funny things in
the world. They're seeing the stupid shit in the world.
They get all of that. And that's not easy because
sometimes kids will push back against you on that sort
of stuff. But you've pulled them along with you. Such
(15:10):
is your energy and enthusiasm. I think it's enthusiasm that's
pulled them along. And now when I see those guys
and I see what they're doing and stuff, I'm like, oh,
they're going to be like what you've done in your life.
This is not an insult, but what you've done in
your life. You watch what those kids do. They'll they'll
do much greater. And it's interesting. Your dad must have
(15:32):
done it. He must have done something like that, and
you maybe didn't even know it or appreciate it. But
he's created something, he started something.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
What my dad has is a really loving man and
he's a fantastic human being. He said something to me
on his eightieth birthday, said something to the room, and
it was that he described it as the greatest transfer
of energy you can in your life, is your energy
from you into your family. It's a put it in
physics terms, and it is really what you can do.
(16:06):
But I also think that I was just with my boys.
I was just lucky to have They're like me, Like
they came out and they were they were me. They
were like they were they were like companions, they were
like my people immediately. I mean, between Barry and Charlie,
that the two halves of me exactly. I mean, Barry
(16:26):
looks a lot like me and you know, and Charlie
looks like a lot like his lovely mum. But I
just feel lucky, like I can't believe that they came
they came along, like what are the chances?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Yeah, but you nurtured that. Though. You nurtured that because
there are annoying things about little kids, like little kids
can be bloody annoying. You never found your kids annoying.
My kids were annoying. I found my kids annoying at times.
They were hard to deal with. You never found that.
You just you plowed through that.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I think I was the most unlikely person to be
a father and a way, because I was so self
involved and so into whatever I was doing, Like I
have a problem with focus.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
I'll whatever is in my spotlight. I mean people have
told this to me.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
I mean it didn't work it out myself, but whatever's
in my gaze, I'm right in but I can move
it really quickly, and my kids were so important and
that I had to keep them alive that I couldn't
wave it from it because it was too important to work.
I couldn't get distracted from it, you know what I mean.
It was the most important work of my life to
(17:39):
make sure that those guys were okay.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
But at the same time, give yourself some credit. I
remember a couple of years ago, we were in a
show meeting that got quite heated. Yeah, and you got
a call from young Barry And I'm not sure if
the story I might be combining two stories. Yeah, but
there we were all quite fired up, you know, we
were discussing show segments and stuff like that. And I
think it might have actually been Charlie was on the
way to a rowing camp and he called up and
he had forgotten literally about half of the shit. And
(18:04):
you're and we're having quite a head of discussion in there,
and you pick up that phone and immediately the nicest father,
your solutions.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Focus.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Buddy, It's all going to be okay. And this is
off the back of us being quite an angry You
never ever reflected what was going on in your life
on your kids. I just have never ever, ever sin
you not be one hundred percent positive towards your boys.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Oh, you're totally right, Mash. And what your dad said
it is zadieth. I've thought about that a lot. That
is such a wise thing to say, because the entire
world is based around that energy transfer. The entire world
economy is based around pushing resource from you, the transfer
(18:44):
of energy that goes from one generation to the next,
and your children and putting energy. And that's why we work. Yeah,
we were yes, so we can afford to pay for
food for our children and give our children the opportunities
that we can do it. So my job is highly
at its core, is really based on the fact that
I'm trying to provide for my family. So this industry
(19:07):
is full of people like me. So well, that's why
this industry exists the way it really exists to entertain people.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
One of the wisest things that anyone ever said to
me was something you said to me jury, and it
put a lot of things in perspective. You're like, when
you have a child, you realize that you would happily
die for them if you were if you were on
a boat and it was going down and you had
an opportunity to put that child on the boat and
you die.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Not only would you.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Die, you wouldn't you would die happy that you had
the opportunity to save them. And that's a freaking life changer.
And when it happens to your mesh, I mean, you're
already a freaking lovely person. You're the wisest person I've
ever met of of your age, and so you're you're
so far down the path, you know so much for
(19:50):
the down the path than I was at your age.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
But when you realize that you.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Like and it takes a lot of the pressure off.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
And I mean you and you you said it to
me as well, Jerry, You're grateful because you're like, you're
grateful that they've given you the direction that your children
come along and go, oh, that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
I'm not traveling around the world trying.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
To sell a movie or get a new TV show
or or become more successful. My mission is clear. It's
for them, and that clarity is is quite something.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Yeah, I agree. For me, it was all of a sudden,
it was it happened the moment that that I saw
Misika's head pop out of Tolsi's vagina and I and
she blinked at me. I remember her blinking. What was
blinking or the nos was blinking? She was head face up, yeah,
And so I was just looking at her head. I
(20:46):
was holding her head and she was just blinking at me.
And I just had this. It just happened so fast.
I mean, oh, I need to look after this. This
is what I need to look after. And I immediately
felt less pressure that I just like, okay, if I do,
if I just look after her and she survives and I,
you know, whatever, then I will have done something. Yeah,
you know. And before that I didn't know what I
(21:07):
needed to do. I had no idea. And the idea
then that you never love your parents as much as
your parents love you. You never can as much as
you think I love my parents.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
You wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
You wouldn't die for your parents. You might die for them,
but you wouldn't die completely happily.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
You'd kill for them, hm. You know, like I'm you know,
like you kill my father, prepared to die kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
They're not looking down, so yeah, but yes, it's like that.
You would you would happily. You'd happily do it as
long as you knew that they were going to live happily.
Ever after, you'd go, yes, sure, okay.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
But you know, one thing that this job has a
gifted me is being able to be home when my
kids get home from school. Because I got most of
my work done in the morning so I could be home.
And I made this that I'll be home when they
walk in the door, so I could go. I used
to write home and to be knowing home, and I
sort of just wander around looking for something. And so
(22:09):
I just really loved the idea of you know, my
mum would be somewhere far into the house and study
or something, but you know, lovely person.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
But I just wanted more kids to walk in the
door and go, hey, buddy, yeah home.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
So whatever happened in the world, they knew that when
they came in that door, it was it was the strong,
powerful place where everything was great for them. And yeah,
I had a chat with Charlie the other day and
he said, you've never told me off in my entire life.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
That's remarkable. Oh my god, that's remarkable.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
And I said, haven't. I We were trying to think
of a time and we couldn't. I haven't but that's
because I haven't had to. It's because I don't know
that that's by the by.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Yeah, but you could have found things, you know what
I mean. You could have been one of those kinds
of appearance that goes, Okay, this kid's amazing, I'm going
to now put more pressure him to be uber amazing.
But that you never tried to do that.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
I guess they didn't know what telling off was because
I always got down on my knees when they did
something wrong, and I'd always look in their eyes. I
watched an episode of Supernanni that Larnie made me watch,
and it was like, look in their eyes and tell
them what they've done wrong, and put them in time out,
tell them you love them, this is what you've done wrong.
You're going to be over here for a bit, and
then afterwards you get them to repeat what they've done wrong,
and then you go over to them and you and
(23:25):
then they'll be over by the fridge, and then I'd
get down on my knees and look into their eyes
and say this is what you did.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
What did you do wrong?
Speaker 2 (23:30):
And they say that, and I say, oh that's good,
I love you, and then sent them on their way. Yeah,
so they didn't recognize that as telling off, but that
was actually quite intense telling off. And I remember we
overheard this family when we were staying at a batch
and these we overheard these parents talking in this other
room why Matt and Lanney's kids so well behaved? And
they said, it's a cross of intense love and intense discipline.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
That's so true. Oh man.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
But but there's this other cliche thing I want to
say now, because we're in this kind of emotional peace
pipe sort of mode.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Here is God.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
If you can choose gratitude over resentment in your life
every time resentment pops up, if you can choose gratitude
over resentment.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
And that took me.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
I such a resentful human being for so long, and
and those resentments pop up in me all the time.
I'm like driving to somewhere and I'm resentful. And then
I just remember, even if it's you've ordered the wrong ottoman,
the person's cocked up and there's something recent and the
wrong ottoman arrives, grateful that you can buy an ottoman,
(24:37):
you know what I mean, Like it's the most the
most shallow word, but that we need to tell kids
that from the younger stage. Every time you get a
chance to be grateful as opposed to resentful. Every time
you do that, your life is better. It opens up
and as opposed to closes down. And there's another saying, well,
(25:00):
I'm punishing philosophies. If you choose the path and that
enlarges you as opposed is to shrunk you a.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
As the best path. But anyway, I'm going off topic.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Here, But do we need to take a break and
come back?
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah, to take a break and punishing people, that's terrible philosophy.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
These margaritas are good.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
No, these margaritas are good. Have you heard about that idea?
And I watched Diahinwoods documentary the other day and he
was talking about the universe teaching you lessons and as
soon as it's taught you the right amount of lessons,
then you move on. Jeez. And I thought there was
something in that. I was like, you know, I don't
(25:46):
know if I believed in that. And then I started
thinking about that, and I thought about you know, I
thought about the show, and I thought about you know,
where we have come as people and all that sort
of stuf. And I thought about you and I and
I thought about how it used to be when we
first started doing the show, and it was definitely different.
(26:09):
There's no doubt about that. It was the same. You
were the same, I was the same, but we were different.
And over the years this show, hanging out with you,
doing all that sort of stuff, working with other people,
has taught me so many things. Eleven years, I couldn't
even start to talk about all the things that I've learned,
(26:31):
so many things. And I feel like before we started
doing the show, my life was something, and then all
of a sudden, it went on this particular it went
out the side all of a sudden, And I think
that now is a good time. I think we've learned
a lot, and I think now is a good time.
(26:52):
I think we've learned what we've needed to learn. And
the universe said, you've learned what you need to learn.
Now you're going to go into a new situation and
you're going to learn a whole lot of new things.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Punishing other people.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Yeah, but you're going to have a whole lot of
different people to work with, and you're going to learn
a whole lot of things about different types of people,
because they'll they'll it will be different, you know, whatever's
happening here. You've done what you needed to do here,
and now you go somewhere else and you do something
else somewhere else. Yeah, I think what you'll bring to
that brand, and it will take a while before because
(27:26):
it's a powerful brand and it has its own culture,
and it's a strong culture, and it's a successful culture.
But it needs to evolve, you know, like everything, it
has to keep evolving. And so I think you will
bring something and that's it's entirely necessary because the universe
just demands it.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Well, if you're going to get happy to be about that.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
I feel like, because I've been with you the longest time, Jerry,
is that you came along as the person I needed
who was willing to go back and forth on these
ideas for years, because most people aren't willing to just
wound each other with ideas and go through ideas over
time and develop them and take things on and take
(28:08):
things and listen to each other and become something else
with someone as opposed to butting heads.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
But like you turn up with no.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Ego, which is phenomenal for you because you've got every
reason to have the biggest ego in the entire fricking world.
I mean, as doctor Steve Simpsons from the University Physics
department said to me once, someone has to be Jeremy Wells,
I'm glad it's not a cunt.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
So I thought it was just such.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
A great line.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Someone who's super smart, you know, very handsome, and lovely.
I mean, what are the chances of that those three
things appearing in one person? It seems unlikely. I mean,
you had every right to be the bully, you know. Instead,
you're just a You're You're like a cheerleader for people.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
I've done some bad things. We've all done terrible things.
I've done some terrible things. We've all done terrible things.
I've done plenty of terrible things. Yeah. So, yeah, I
already missed this as well. I I think, you know what,
I think I'll miss this. I don't know what I
missed the most, but I think that maybe I missed
(29:23):
this the most. Yeah, because this was this was totally unique.
I think when we first started doing this, nobody was
doing podcasts. Certainly nobody's doing podcasts like what we're doing.
You essentially forced me to start doing it, and I'm
always happy to go along with things that you come
up with because you always come up with something that's
always fun. It's like it's always got something. It's you've
(29:45):
never got nothing, it's always got something. And I've always
liked that about you. There's lots, like heaps of ideas.
There's always an idea you're never you never turn on.
I mean occasionally, if you've been out for like three
days or something, you might turn up and have maybe
le this idea is the normal, But very rarely even
then you'll have an idea. And so that's a great
that's so good. Working with someone like that, God, it's good.
(30:07):
I mean working with someone have no ideas, like nothing,
with no energy, with no ideas and just don't want
to take it in a direction. I'm always prepared to
go in whatever direction you want to go because I think, oh,
if I jump on board of this, I'll just jump
on board of it, see where it goes.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
I think that the exact same thing about yourself.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
I'll miss this. I'll miss this massively because this has
been a biog This is this is so liberating, but.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
This has been that.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
This is a great team we've got at the moment,
and you always tend to leave if you're very lucky
in life. You get to leave something in the state
it's not on fire, and you're not running out of
the house grabbing your stuff. You know you're leaving when
it's in a great state, and you even though we
didn't get near the whatever goals they were, we kind
(30:55):
of got in the goals of making something that's so
good that after every every live radio show we go,
how many days do we not go?
Speaker 1 (31:03):
That was a good show. Yeah, that's a great show.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
And even if it was just us that loved it,
the four of us freaking love it. We've loved it,
and so we go off slapping our backs. This consultants
is everyone on the company going, Jesus Christ, what.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
The fuck was that? We go?
Speaker 3 (31:19):
That was great?
Speaker 2 (31:20):
And so that's something that's something And God, you've got
to say, Radiohodech.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Has been very good to me. They've supported me and
allowed me to be in whatever I wanted to be.
And how many places do you get to be yourself?
Speaker 3 (31:34):
Jesus, Fourteen years is a bloody long time and one employment.
I mean that's a long time. God, that's a long time.
And it's uninterrupted. It's not like people don't always understand
that you can turn up for a year and do
a radio show every day for three hours, and that
takes something. Takes something to do it every for a week.
To be honest, when people first doing I mean we've
first started doing the show. After our first week, we
(31:56):
were both shattered. We were like, holy crap, it was
full on.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
The manage adrenaline that's pumping through your system.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Oh my god. You come down from that. Every day
it's full on. And then to do it for a
year as something. You get to the end of the
year and you exhausted and you've given a lot of yourself.
And then you get to two three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen,
fourteen years of doing this, doing that every day as
(32:23):
a remarkable effort. It really is. Are you're not done?
This is the thing. You're just going somewhere different to
do more of the same sort of stuff. Very good point.
Got to make sure you keep give yourself something, you know, always,
because you're not a person who likes to give themselves anything.
But that's something that that's my one piece of advice
that I will leave you with is that when you
(32:44):
go and do something else. Allow allow something for yourself,
because I think you know you give a lot, but
allow something if you know what, I don't quite know
(33:05):
how to explain that. But go easy on yourself. You
know you hard on yourself. Go easy on yourself. Firstly,
you've done You've done great things in your life. You've
written a book. You're the only person in New Zealand
to have written a book that sold really well, wasn't
self published, made a television successful television shows series number
(33:27):
of them, a movie done, a breakfast radio show every day,
a podcast, and a drive show. You're the only person
in New Zealand and commentated cricket and sport. You're the
only person in New Zealand who ever done that. So
and give yourself some credit. And one best kids show
and the humiliated, made shows for like the worst shows
(33:54):
you could ever make for an adult, not the worst,
but the most x rated, and then made shows for
kids at the same time, and everything in between. So
you give yourself something, give you give go easy on
yourself well.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
And and can I just say before we go, you
guys are great. And I will listen to the show
as a fan. And you guys are freaking talented and
it's bloody awesome that you guys are going to continue
on and and and thing. You know, my my, my
feeling in my heart is it will get it'll be
better and going forward than it is now.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
And all right, exactly, I didn't learn less immediately, didn't
learn will go on.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
It will never be the same, but it will go
go on. It will go on.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
It won't be the same, but the changes is a big,
big it's a part of everything.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
You've got to embrace it.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Also, I love you all, and and thank you so
much to the people that listen to this because they've
allowed us to do this and allowed this podcast to
be a lot more successful than our radio show was
because they've allowed have tuned in and listened and allowed
us into their lives and and put up with the
you know, the peaks and troughs and just keep downloading
(35:09):
and listening to this podcast. So so so you're all,
you're all the people are listening, you're all part of this.
You're all part of this as well, and continue listening
and can can continue here and and maybe and maybe
I'll be sitting out there in the in the in.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Bay ballet vaping and knocking on the window. Maybe I'll
come in for the odd guest appearance.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Mate, I love you, love you too, and Shocker and
Rucker stays a secret.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Okay, we're still recording.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Yeah, I just got to do one last bless Blessed, blessed,
give them a taste of care.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
We you seem busy, I'll let you go. Hello, I'm
Matt Heath.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
You have been listening to the Mat and Jerry Daily
Bespoke podcast. Right now you can listen to our Radio
Highlights podcast, which you will absolutely get barred up about. Anyway,
sit to download, like, subscribe, write, review, all those great things.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
It really helps myself and Jerry and to a lesser extent,
Mess and Ruder.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
If you want to discuss anything raised in this pod,
check out the Conclave, a Matt and Jerry Facebook discussion group.
And while I'm plugging stuff, my book, A Lifeless Punishing
Thirteen Ways to Love the Life You've Got is out
now get it wherever you get your books, or just.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Google the bastard. Anyway you seem busy, I'll let you go.
Bless Blessed, blessed, give them a taste of key. We
from me,
Hello you great New Zealanders. Matt Heath here.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
This is my last week on this podcast, sadly, but
if you're not sick of me and you want more
of my weekly content, you can follow my weekly substack
mailout article at Matdheath dot substack dot com. This week
I discussed fighting fomo after my friends betrayed me and
went to Germany without me. You Jerry, g Laane, Joseph
(00:22):
and Maniah, I love you, but you hurt me. Anyway
you seem busy, I'll let you go to Matteath dot
substack dot com. Bless, Bless, Bless the fourth of October
(01:05):
and the Year of Our Lord twenty twenty four. Welcome
all you bespokey dokies to the last daily bespoke podcast
with me.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Mad Oh, that's me, mad he I don't know why
I see that anyway.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
With with me referred yourself from a third person. It's
time to start referring to yourself from a third person.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
It'll it'll obviously this this this potal We'll go on
and to greater things, but.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
I'll miss this.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
The podcast has been you got the radio show, but
then this podcast has been one of my great joys
what we've done with the podcast, and I just love
it just that that came along where we could actually
talk whatever shit we felt like talking for a long
time in a row without having to go to ads
(01:58):
or songs, and arguably the most self indulgent podcast that's
ever existed.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Like just just Us.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
And to be able to broadcast to such a on
this pod to so many people, and people come up
to me and they talk about this podcast more than
they talk about anything. So how good was that that
came along? At some point we were always doing the pod,
but then we started just doing this and that's but
it's just I mean, I'll listen back to these pods
(02:31):
sometimes and just I laugh, and then I always have
huge regret because I go, I miss the jokes that
you guys say because I'm off blasting.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Off on my own.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
That real good thing, And then I'll hear just a
great joke from one of you guys, or you know,
a great piece of insight, and I've just missed it
because I'm talking about my downstairs or something.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
You know.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
I think that on this podcast, truly get to be yourself,
and that's why I think it's become popular. I think
it's because it's the totally unedited, unfiltered, unfiltered go wherever
you're like, which means that sometimes it ends up being
kind of.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I mean that you get loads and highs exactly some
of the worst, some of the best, but oddly and
she always says at the end of the stupidest ones,
the ones that are just so dumb and long and ridiculous,
and goes, that'll be the one that blows up, not
not the one where we're off coming with something prepared,
(03:38):
we want to do this.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
People don't care about those ones. It's the ones that
are just so you know.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
And it's like, what I love about our listeners is
they'll just message that was so punishing.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
And they mean that as a complimence.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Yea, I love the book. I love the ones that
we get to the end of it. And then she
will go, you boys happy with that one? And there
was delete that delete that Are you happy with that one?
Speaker 1 (04:07):
That's a great question that it's like, how could you
be happy with that?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Last night I was having a listen to the first
podcast that I mean, like Maddy, sorry, make it about
myself here that I was ever a part of, and
it was a podcast back in what probably twenty twenty one.
I mean, you guys were talking about it town the
show actually going up on the Tangineer. If you haven't
listened today's radio show, we're just coming out the back
of that now in terms of the actual time. So
(04:32):
that's why we're all a bit sniffy still because the
end of the radio show was quite something else. But
you can hear that on the Radio Lights podcast. But
I listened back to the first time I was a
part of the show, and it was like what you
it was a podcast where you were talking about Lislie Nelson,
It's nice Beaver part from and you met it were
(04:53):
taking me and wonder if it was the first time
we had I sat and actually either you guys said,
you know, come in and give it a going and
made you said, you know, you were asking that you
were playing that bit of audio and over and over again,
and then Jerry was on the other side of the
room playing some kind of the Beaver the New Zealand
Jairs musician and it was just twenty five minutes, tenty
minutes of absolute carnage and it took me back. But
(05:16):
you guys have always it's always been the best, and
people have always said that is when it's just you two.
And it's funny because I don't think. I don't think
you guys actually do take it for granted, because I
think you know that down that people might be listening
and what it means to people.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
But god, it means a lot what you.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Guys do in my life.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
And this sounds like a yeah, trite thing to say,
but I've grown so much as a person to the
point where I can actually appreciate eight things. I mean,
Jerry will be a test. We'll be able to attest
to this that there was a time in my life
when I was just an open wound, you know, and
it took me a long time to work out how
(05:55):
to actually control my emotions to the point where I
can enjoy things to be like, that's terrible, that's terrible.
Everything I've done is terrible and to the point, and
I've done this everything I've done in my life. Like
I watched this film I make or the Devil Did
Me to the other day and I went, oh, that's
quite a good film. And from the second we finished
filming right through. I mean, I write about it in
(06:15):
my book about how I was booing it when we
were watching it in Munich. It was on it was
we were doing a traveling the world and we were
doing a you know, before and after, you know, question
answer this kind of thing packed theater in Munich, and
I decided the film wasn't good enough, so I was
booing it and security tried to lead me out, and
(06:37):
I was like that for the for the longest time.
And it's taken me a long time to be able
to actually appreciate things. And I feel like I've been
able to do that on the show where I've actually
looked around and looked up, you know, and gone, I'm
so lucky.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
This is great.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
It's a real privilege and it's good. Even though it's shit,
it good And I think in my everything I've done
it's been good and.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Ships that's kind of.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
What it is.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
But this is but you guys are and on you
like minded people in that regard that that it that
it now is important and it is what it is,
what it is, and it's got it's worth in its
own right and it's worth in the moment and all
those those kind of things, you know. So I feel
(07:26):
grateful as I leave that I did actually remember to
enjoy it, and I won't be walking around for the
first time and going that was ship. I don't listen
to it like everything else I've gone is don't watch it,
don't listen to it, you know what I mean. I
don't know why I was like that, but thankfully, over
the eleven years of doing the show, at some point
(07:48):
I had some kind of awakening.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
I think it's actually after my mum died.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I sort of had this awakening in life that you
know that you're lucky to be here, and you're lucky
to be with the people you are because they're not
here for ever. Nothing's here for ever, even your mum's
not here forever. Yeah, yeah, I don't know what. No,
I know exactly what you're trying to say.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
I think you're you're a fascinating case medic because you're
your head. I mean, fuck, there's a head I'd like
to be inside. It moves at one hundred and eighty
kilometers now and I can.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Only imagine why.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Help yourself?
Speaker 4 (08:22):
And it's one of your greatest strengths is how quick
quickly your mind moved. But I can only imagine over
the last you know, thirtyars as well the fact that
it moves so fast. It's also created a whole bunch
of problems when it comes to overthinking and persism and
self doubt and all that.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Kind of stuff as well.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
So yeah, I can see, mate, that's fucking crazy.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
I mean, I was gonna say. I remember probably about
the third podcast I sat in with you guys, and
there was one point the first couple I'd try and
wheezle my way in and say a few clever and
insightful things, and then the third one was either about
a book or a movie, and just watching you two
go like table tennis, and I just felt like the
(09:02):
fucking stupidest stuff felt in my life. And I said
to myself, you're gonna sit back and you're just gonna
shut the fun and watch this happen because you've got
I was like, I have absolutely zero to add to this, So.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
I'm not living going to barkin bother. Yeah, for me, the.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Radio show is one thing. You know, like doing radio
shows as one thing, because but as you've said before,
there's a whole lot of is it artifice is that
the word that you use, there's a whole lot of
things that go around it, and whereas this is so raw.
And the greatest part about this is it's a real
it's a real flex of your brain power and a
(09:41):
weird not a flex. It's not the right word. It's
not a flex like a like have a look how
big this is. It's a flex like a stretch is
what it is. Not a flex. It's it's like it
stretches you out in this way because you come up
with one idea and then maybe we'll ruminate on that
idea for a period of time. But there's no pressure
to ruminate on that idea. There's no pressure to have
an out for it. There's no pressure to come up
(10:03):
with a line at the end of it that's some
witty quip that ties everything up and then into a
song and leaves people feeling away. You have lots of
time to create a vibe rather than just three and
a half minutes. And as a result, because there's no pressure,
and then what often happens is it's organic and the
fact that that idea will lead to another idea, will
lead to another idea, will lead to us being on
(10:25):
a computers because you've got the time to look something
up and then talk about that.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Your blast and audio and in one ear, and it's so relaxing.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Yeah, it's actually mentally very relaxing after you've done what
we think is some kind of tight radio show other
people are listening to going.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Is that your version of time?
Speaker 3 (10:41):
But to us it kind of was because it didn't come.
We didn't start in the world of commercial radio. We
started in the world of punishing student radio, where you
just went on and talked shit, and so it's nice
to go back to that. And we almost feel like
every day we do go back.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
And it might sound silly, but both you and I
do like craft. We do like to get good at something,
or we do like the turning like a like a
train set. We like to tinker, and we've tinked and
tinked and tinked. But I've you said this to me
once quite early on, Jerry, you said, we're pack animals.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
That's what you and me are.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
We like to run with a pack, like we're weird
ohs and stuff, but we always try and form a pack.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
And I think that's the most important thing in life.
It doesn't really.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Matter the ratings or what you're where you're going, and
what you're trying to achieve or the success or. Even
it's like a mcguffin in a movie, it's just what.
It doesn't matter. By the time end of the movie,
that doesn't matter. You find the thing and by then
you've grown so much that you don't care. And I
just wish I'd known that earlier in life. But I've
(11:49):
known it long enough now that it's the running with
the pack doesn't matter. You're chasing a rabbit, chasing whatever.
You don't even need to get there. It's it's the
day today. Running with the pack is the most important thing.
And whatever workplace you're in, you're selling nails, or you're
you know, on a on a site, or you know,
(12:10):
you're in the van work van, it's that's the that's
the thing, that is it, That's that's life, that's it.
That's your family, and it's the people you're worth. It's
not where you're going. And I know it's a cliche,
but soon, the sooner you find that out, the sooner
it's great. You've got to have the target, the target.
You've got to have the target because other we're not
(12:31):
going to come together every day in this We've got
something to do. So humans need something to do. But
it's the doing it with the other humans that is
the thing.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
That's particularly so No, that's exactly that's exactly right. You're right.
It doesn't matter what you're doing. Yeah, it actually doesn't matter.
And the fact that we had a goal and ultimately
we never got we never we never got our goal.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
We're not we got no closer we got so we
were on a treadmill.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
We never got any closer to our goal. I'm not
even going to share with our goal. I'm not even
going to see that because it's like we got my god,
we never got anywhere near it. But I feel like
we got somewhere, and the place that we got to
was as good. But you're right about running with other people,
(13:17):
and it's sharing in other people's joys, and it's it's
sharing other people's bad birds and then coming back from
that and all that sort of stuff like that's actually
the stuff that.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Means more to you that you guys reached out to
my sons that you knew me so well to end
the radio show with my sons, that after all the
time and everything we've done, you knew me enough to
know that that was me.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
Yeah, ond per one hundred percent and you know, I
found it very hard to talk about all that stuff
because I find it hard, I find it deeply emotional
because I know how much that means to you, and
because you know, I think it means a lot to
you every But as I was saying to you, the
thing that has always impressed me the most is like,
(14:05):
not only you're just complete love for your kids, but
also the way that you you know every you remember
everything about their lives. I've never met a dad who
like you could recount if I said to you, now, okay,
I want twenty funny, interesting, heartfelt stories about Charlie, and
(14:28):
then I went twenty about Barry. You'd go bomb bomb
bomb bomb. You'd be able to rattle them off so
fast you carry them around with you right in the
front of your memory. That's heavily with you. It's not
at the back, it's right in the front. And the
way that you have bought those kids up not only
being the most polite, lovely maned kids, but they are
(14:49):
interested in the world just like you. They love everything
that they they're doing lots of stuff. They understand the
joys of the world, they understand the funny things in
the world. They're seeing the stupid shit in the world.
They get all of that. And that's not easy because
sometimes kids will push back against you on that sort
of stuff. But you've pulled them along with you. Such
(15:10):
is your energy and enthusiasm. I think it's enthusiasm that's
pulled them along. And now when I see those guys
and I see what they're doing and stuff, I'm like, oh,
they're going to be like what you've done in your life.
This is not an insult, but what you've done in
your life. You watch what those kids do. They'll they'll
do much greater. And it's interesting. Your dad must have
(15:32):
done it. He must have done something like that, and
you maybe didn't even know it or appreciate it. But
he's created something, he started something.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
What my dad has is a really loving man and
he's a fantastic human being. He said something to me
on his eightieth birthday, said something to the room, and
it was that he described it as the greatest transfer
of energy you can in your life, is your energy
from you into your family. It's a put it in
physics terms, and it is really what you can do.
(16:06):
But I also think that I was just with my boys.
I was just lucky to have They're like me, Like
they came out and they were they were me. They
were like they were they were like companions, they were
like my people immediately. I mean, between Barry and Charlie,
that the two halves of me exactly. I mean, Barry
(16:26):
looks a lot like me and you know, and Charlie
looks like a lot like his lovely mum. But I
just feel lucky, like I can't believe that they came
they came along, like what are the chances?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Yeah, but you nurtured that. Though. You nurtured that because
there are annoying things about little kids, like little kids
can be bloody annoying. You never found your kids annoying.
My kids were annoying. I found my kids annoying at times.
They were hard to deal with. You never found that.
You just you plowed through that.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I think I was the most unlikely person to be
a father and a way, because I was so self
involved and so into whatever I was doing, Like I
have a problem with focus.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
I'll whatever is in my spotlight. I mean people have
told this to me.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
I mean it didn't work it out myself, but whatever's
in my gaze, I'm right in but I can move
it really quickly, and my kids were so important and
that I had to keep them alive that I couldn't
wave it from it because it was too important to work.
I couldn't get distracted from it, you know what I mean.
It was the most important work of my life to
(17:39):
make sure that those guys were okay.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
But at the same time, give yourself some credit. I
remember a couple of years ago, we were in a
show meeting that got quite heated. Yeah, and you got
a call from young Barry And I'm not sure if
the story I might be combining two stories. Yeah, but
there we were all quite fired up, you know, we
were discussing show segments and stuff like that. And I
think it might have actually been Charlie was on the
way to a rowing camp and he called up and
he had forgotten literally about half of the shit. And
(18:04):
you're and we're having quite a head of discussion in there,
and you pick up that phone and immediately the nicest father,
your solutions.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Focus.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
Buddy, It's all going to be okay. And this is
off the back of us being quite an angry You
never ever reflected what was going on in your life
on your kids. I just have never ever, ever sin
you not be one hundred percent positive towards your boys.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Oh, you're totally right, Mash. And what your dad said
it is zadieth. I've thought about that a lot. That
is such a wise thing to say, because the entire
world is based around that energy transfer. The entire world
economy is based around pushing resource from you, the transfer
(18:44):
of energy that goes from one generation to the next,
and your children and putting energy. And that's why we work. Yeah,
we were yes, so we can afford to pay for
food for our children and give our children the opportunities
that we can do it. So my job is highly
at its core, is really based on the fact that
I'm trying to provide for my family. So this industry
(19:07):
is full of people like me. So well, that's why
this industry exists the way it really exists to entertain people.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
One of the wisest things that anyone ever said to
me was something you said to me jury, and it
put a lot of things in perspective. You're like, when
you have a child, you realize that you would happily
die for them if you were if you were on
a boat and it was going down and you had
an opportunity to put that child on the boat and
you die.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Not only would you.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Die, you wouldn't you would die happy that you had
the opportunity to save them. And that's a freaking life changer.
And when it happens to your mesh, I mean, you're
already a freaking lovely person. You're the wisest person I've
ever met of of your age, and so you're you're
so far down the path, you know so much for
(19:50):
the down the path than I was at your age.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
But when you realize that you.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Like and it takes a lot of the pressure off.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
And I mean you and you you said it to
me as well, Jerry, You're grateful because you're like, you're
grateful that they've given you the direction that your children
come along and go, oh, that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
I'm not traveling around the world trying.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
To sell a movie or get a new TV show
or or become more successful. My mission is clear. It's
for them, and that clarity is is quite something.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Yeah, I agree. For me, it was all of a sudden,
it was it happened the moment that that I saw
Misika's head pop out of Tolsi's vagina and I and
she blinked at me. I remember her blinking. What was
blinking or the nos was blinking? She was head face up, yeah,
And so I was just looking at her head. I
(20:46):
was holding her head and she was just blinking at me.
And I just had this. It just happened so fast.
I mean, oh, I need to look after this. This
is what I need to look after. And I immediately
felt less pressure that I just like, okay, if I do,
if I just look after her and she survives and I,
you know, whatever, then I will have done something. Yeah,
you know. And before that I didn't know what I
(21:07):
needed to do. I had no idea. And the idea
then that you never love your parents as much as
your parents love you. You never can as much as
you think I love my parents.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
You wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
You wouldn't die for your parents. You might die for them,
but you wouldn't die completely happily.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
You'd kill for them, hm. You know, like I'm you know,
like you kill my father, prepared to die kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
They're not looking down, so yeah, but yes, it's like that.
You would you would happily. You'd happily do it as
long as you knew that they were going to live happily.
Ever after, you'd go, yes, sure, okay.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
But you know, one thing that this job has a
gifted me is being able to be home when my
kids get home from school. Because I got most of
my work done in the morning so I could be home.
And I made this that I'll be home when they
walk in the door, so I could go. I used
to write home and to be knowing home, and I
sort of just wander around looking for something. And so
(22:09):
I just really loved the idea of you know, my
mum would be somewhere far into the house and study
or something, but you know, lovely person.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
But I just wanted more kids to walk in the
door and go, hey, buddy, yeah home.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
So whatever happened in the world, they knew that when
they came in that door, it was it was the strong,
powerful place where everything was great for them. And yeah,
I had a chat with Charlie the other day and
he said, you've never told me off in my entire life.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
That's remarkable. Oh my god, that's remarkable.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
And I said, haven't. I We were trying to think
of a time and we couldn't. I haven't but that's
because I haven't had to. It's because I don't know
that that's by the by.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Yeah, but you could have found things, you know what
I mean. You could have been one of those kinds
of appearance that goes, Okay, this kid's amazing, I'm going
to now put more pressure him to be uber amazing.
But that you never tried to do that.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
I guess they didn't know what telling off was because
I always got down on my knees when they did
something wrong, and I'd always look in their eyes. I
watched an episode of Supernanni that Larnie made me watch,
and it was like, look in their eyes and tell
them what they've done wrong, and put them in time out,
tell them you love them, this is what you've done wrong.
You're going to be over here for a bit, and
then afterwards you get them to repeat what they've done wrong,
and then you go over to them and you and
(23:25):
then they'll be over by the fridge, and then I'd
get down on my knees and look into their eyes
and say this is what you did.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
What did you do wrong?
Speaker 2 (23:30):
And they say that, and I say, oh that's good,
I love you, and then sent them on their way. Yeah,
so they didn't recognize that as telling off, but that
was actually quite intense telling off. And I remember we
overheard this family when we were staying at a batch
and these we overheard these parents talking in this other
room why Matt and Lanney's kids so well behaved? And
they said, it's a cross of intense love and intense discipline.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
That's so true. Oh man.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
But but there's this other cliche thing I want to
say now, because we're in this kind of emotional peace
pipe sort of mode.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Here is God.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
If you can choose gratitude over resentment in your life
every time resentment pops up, if you can choose gratitude
over resentment.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
And that took me.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
I such a resentful human being for so long, and
and those resentments pop up in me all the time.
I'm like driving to somewhere and I'm resentful. And then
I just remember, even if it's you've ordered the wrong ottoman,
the person's cocked up and there's something recent and the
wrong ottoman arrives, grateful that you can buy an ottoman,
(24:37):
you know what I mean, Like it's the most the
most shallow word, but that we need to tell kids
that from the younger stage. Every time you get a
chance to be grateful as opposed to resentful. Every time
you do that, your life is better. It opens up
and as opposed to closes down. And there's another saying, well,
(25:00):
I'm punishing philosophies. If you choose the path and that
enlarges you as opposed is to shrunk you a.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
As the best path. But anyway, I'm going off topic.
Speaker 3 (25:13):
Here, But do we need to take a break and
come back?
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah, to take a break and punishing people, that's terrible philosophy.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
These margaritas are good.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
No, these margaritas are good. Have you heard about that idea?
And I watched Diahinwoods documentary the other day and he
was talking about the universe teaching you lessons and as
soon as it's taught you the right amount of lessons,
then you move on. Jeez. And I thought there was
something in that. I was like, you know, I don't
(25:46):
know if I believed in that. And then I started
thinking about that, and I thought about you know, I
thought about the show, and I thought about you know,
where we have come as people and all that sort
of stuf. And I thought about you and I and
I thought about how it used to be when we
first started doing the show, and it was definitely different.
(26:09):
There's no doubt about that. It was the same. You
were the same, I was the same, but we were different.
And over the years this show, hanging out with you,
doing all that sort of stuff, working with other people,
has taught me so many things. Eleven years, I couldn't
even start to talk about all the things that I've learned,
(26:31):
so many things. And I feel like before we started
doing the show, my life was something, and then all
of a sudden, it went on this particular it went
out the side all of a sudden, And I think
that now is a good time. I think we've learned
a lot, and I think now is a good time.
(26:52):
I think we've learned what we've needed to learn. And
the universe said, you've learned what you need to learn.
Now you're going to go into a new situation and
you're going to learn a whole lot of new things.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Punishing other people.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Yeah, but you're going to have a whole lot of
different people to work with, and you're going to learn
a whole lot of things about different types of people,
because they'll they'll it will be different, you know, whatever's
happening here. You've done what you needed to do here,
and now you go somewhere else and you do something
else somewhere else. Yeah, I think what you'll bring to
that brand, and it will take a while before because
(27:26):
it's a powerful brand and it has its own culture,
and it's a strong culture, and it's a successful culture.
But it needs to evolve, you know, like everything, it
has to keep evolving. And so I think you will
bring something and that's it's entirely necessary because the universe
just demands it.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Well, if you're going to get happy to be about that.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
I feel like, because I've been with you the longest time, Jerry,
is that you came along as the person I needed
who was willing to go back and forth on these
ideas for years, because most people aren't willing to just
wound each other with ideas and go through ideas over
time and develop them and take things on and take
(28:08):
things and listen to each other and become something else
with someone as opposed to butting heads.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
But like you turn up with no.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Ego, which is phenomenal for you because you've got every
reason to have the biggest ego in the entire fricking world.
I mean, as doctor Steve Simpsons from the University Physics
department said to me once, someone has to be Jeremy Wells,
I'm glad it's not a cunt.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
So I thought it was just such.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
A great line.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Someone who's super smart, you know, very handsome, and lovely.
I mean, what are the chances of that those three
things appearing in one person? It seems unlikely. I mean,
you had every right to be the bully, you know. Instead,
you're just a You're You're like a cheerleader for people.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
I've done some bad things. We've all done terrible things.
I've done some terrible things. We've all done terrible things.
I've done plenty of terrible things. Yeah. So, yeah, I
already missed this as well. I I think, you know what,
I think I'll miss this. I don't know what I
missed the most, but I think that maybe I missed
(29:23):
this the most. Yeah, because this was this was totally unique.
I think when we first started doing this, nobody was
doing podcasts. Certainly nobody's doing podcasts like what we're doing.
You essentially forced me to start doing it, and I'm
always happy to go along with things that you come
up with because you always come up with something that's
always fun. It's like it's always got something. It's you've
(29:45):
never got nothing, it's always got something. And I've always
liked that about you. There's lots, like heaps of ideas.
There's always an idea you're never you never turn on.
I mean occasionally, if you've been out for like three
days or something, you might turn up and have maybe
le this idea is the normal, But very rarely even
then you'll have an idea. And so that's a great
that's so good. Working with someone like that, God, it's good.
(30:07):
I mean working with someone have no ideas, like nothing,
with no energy, with no ideas and just don't want
to take it in a direction. I'm always prepared to
go in whatever direction you want to go because I think, oh,
if I jump on board of this, I'll just jump
on board of it, see where it goes.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
I think that the exact same thing about yourself.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
I'll miss this. I'll miss this massively because this has
been a biog This is this is so liberating, but.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
This has been that.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
This is a great team we've got at the moment,
and you always tend to leave if you're very lucky
in life. You get to leave something in the state
it's not on fire, and you're not running out of
the house grabbing your stuff. You know you're leaving when
it's in a great state, and you even though we
didn't get near the whatever goals they were, we kind
(30:55):
of got in the goals of making something that's so
good that after every every live radio show we go,
how many days do we not go?
Speaker 1 (31:03):
That was a good show. Yeah, that's a great show.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
And even if it was just us that loved it,
the four of us freaking love it. We've loved it,
and so we go off slapping our backs. This consultants
is everyone on the company going, Jesus Christ, what.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
The fuck was that? We go?
Speaker 3 (31:19):
That was great?
Speaker 2 (31:20):
And so that's something that's something And God, you've got
to say, Radiohodech.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Has been very good to me. They've supported me and
allowed me to be in whatever I wanted to be.
And how many places do you get to be yourself?
Speaker 3 (31:34):
Jesus, Fourteen years is a bloody long time and one employment.
I mean that's a long time. God, that's a long time.
And it's uninterrupted. It's not like people don't always understand
that you can turn up for a year and do
a radio show every day for three hours, and that
takes something. Takes something to do it every for a week.
To be honest, when people first doing I mean we've
first started doing the show. After our first week, we
(31:56):
were both shattered. We were like, holy crap, it was
full on.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
The manage adrenaline that's pumping through your system.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Oh my god. You come down from that. Every day
it's full on. And then to do it for a
year as something. You get to the end of the
year and you exhausted and you've given a lot of yourself.
And then you get to two three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen,
fourteen years of doing this, doing that every day as
(32:23):
a remarkable effort. It really is. Are you're not done?
This is the thing. You're just going somewhere different to
do more of the same sort of stuff. Very good point.
Got to make sure you keep give yourself something, you know, always,
because you're not a person who likes to give themselves anything.
But that's something that that's my one piece of advice
that I will leave you with is that when you
(32:44):
go and do something else. Allow allow something for yourself,
because I think you know you give a lot, but
allow something if you know what, I don't quite know
(33:05):
how to explain that. But go easy on yourself. You
know you hard on yourself. Go easy on yourself. Firstly,
you've done You've done great things in your life. You've
written a book. You're the only person in New Zealand
to have written a book that sold really well, wasn't
self published, made a television successful television shows series number
(33:27):
of them, a movie done, a breakfast radio show every day,
a podcast, and a drive show. You're the only person
in New Zealand and commentated cricket and sport. You're the
only person in New Zealand who ever done that. So
and give yourself some credit. And one best kids show
and the humiliated, made shows for like the worst shows
(33:54):
you could ever make for an adult, not the worst,
but the most x rated, and then made shows for
kids at the same time, and everything in between. So
you give yourself something, give you give go easy on
yourself well.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
And and can I just say before we go, you
guys are great. And I will listen to the show
as a fan. And you guys are freaking talented and
it's bloody awesome that you guys are going to continue
on and and and thing. You know, my my, my
feeling in my heart is it will get it'll be
better and going forward than it is now.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
And all right, exactly, I didn't learn less immediately, didn't
learn will go on.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
It will never be the same, but it will go
go on. It will go on.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
It won't be the same, but the changes is a big,
big it's a part of everything.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
You've got to embrace it.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Also, I love you all, and and thank you so
much to the people that listen to this because they've
allowed us to do this and allowed this podcast to
be a lot more successful than our radio show was
because they've allowed have tuned in and listened and allowed
us into their lives and and put up with the
you know, the peaks and troughs and just keep downloading
(35:09):
and listening to this podcast. So so so you're all,
you're all the people are listening, you're all part of this.
You're all part of this as well, and continue listening
and can can continue here and and maybe and maybe
I'll be sitting out there in the in the in.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Bay ballet vaping and knocking on the window. Maybe I'll
come in for the odd guest appearance.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Mate, I love you, love you too, and Shocker and
Rucker stays a secret.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Okay, we're still recording.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Yeah, I just got to do one last bless Blessed, blessed,
give them a taste of care.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
We you seem busy, I'll let you go. Hello, I'm
Matt Heath.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
You have been listening to the Mat and Jerry Daily
Bespoke podcast. Right now you can listen to our Radio
Highlights podcast, which you will absolutely get barred up about. Anyway,
sit to download, like, subscribe, write, review, all those great things.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
It really helps myself and Jerry and to a lesser extent,
Mess and Ruder.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
If you want to discuss anything raised in this pod,
check out the Conclave, a Matt and Jerry Facebook discussion group.
And while I'm plugging stuff, my book, A Lifeless Punishing
Thirteen Ways to Love the Life You've Got is out
now get it wherever you get your books, or just.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Google the bastard. Anyway you seem busy, I'll let you go.
Bless Blessed, blessed, give them a taste of key. We
from me,
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