Caring for Aging Parents

Maleeah, CJ, and Shawn talk about the trials and stresses of caring for aging parents - and what adult children and aging parents need to know.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
This is Money in Motion with ClassFinancial, a fun and informative show designed
to help you get answers to allyour retirement questions in one place. So
lines are open for you right nowat six oh eight three two one thirteen
ten. That's six oh eight threetwo one thirteen ten. Loved to get
you on the air this morning withour retirement planning professionals from Class Financial.

(00:22):
Got the gang all here, CJCloss and Malia Quavis. You can learn
more about Coss Financial on their websiteCoss Financial dot com. That's Klaas Financial
dot com. And the telephone numbersix oh eight four four two five six
three seven. No charge for thefinancial gets know you appointment at Coss Financial.
It is complementary to you again thenumber six oh eight four four two

(00:44):
five six three seven. And toget on the air, it's the regular
phone number for the station three twoone thirteen ten. That's three two one
thirteen ten. CJ. Welcome back. How you doing this week? I'm
doing great? How are you,Sean? I'm doing really well. Great
to chat with you. Malia,how are you doing this morning? Very
good? Happy to be here.It's great to have both the view along
and it's a very informative program aheadimportant conversation about taking care of and of

(01:06):
course paying for aging parents and someof the things you want to think about
when it comes to your own planning. And of course we'll get to that
with Cjanmalia in just a moment.A couple of great things to keep in
mind during today's program. First off, I mentioned the website Cossfinancial dot com.
Great resource to learn more about CossFinancial, the team, their separate
divisions. The service is offered alsoan opportunity there to sign up for the

(01:27):
weekly Market Pulse newsletter. It's afantastic weekly email that you'll receive. It's
got a little less snapshot what's beengoing on in the markets recently, as
well as a link to the mostrecent podcast. Again that available to you
at Cossfinancial dot com. That's kLaaS Financial dot Com. I mentioned their
telephone number six oh eight four fourtwo five six three seven no charge for

(01:48):
the nacial gets to know you appointmentat Coss Financially. It will be complementary
to you again their number six oheight four four two five six three seven.
Another great feature of the program isthe Coloss Quiz Question Leek will be
doing one and again this week yourchance to win a fantastic prize. Our
friends from Class Financial provided a twentyfive dollars gift card to Cracker Barrel for
the winner of the class quiz questionLeak and we'll tell you a little bit

(02:09):
later on the show how you canwin that. I will tell you.
Pay close attention. Typically the questionand hencer as well to the class quiz
question the week come up during theshow. Before we get rolling on this
week's conversation, let's actually take alook back at last week's class quiz question
Leak. Get the question and theanswer there as well. Yeah, so
last week our topic, which isa common topic we discussed on the show

(02:32):
about social security, had a lotof listeners with the question being true or
false. According to Social Security,the age that you can collect one hundred
percent of your earned Social Security benefitis your FRA, also known as your
full retirement age. True or false. A lot of people called in,
but only Bill of Portage was ourwinner, So we can only have one

(02:54):
winner, So congratulations to him forcorrectly answering that question. So, if
if you're wondering if you should collectyour Social Security benefit earlier, or later
or somewhere in between, listen toour show. Maybe we'll get some good
information about that fantastic and very popularprogram. As you mentioned, we talk
about social security regularly because there's alot of questions about it. And if

(03:16):
you missed any part of that program, or missed any part of today's show,
you can always sad on over toClassfinancial dot com, listen back to
the podcast, or even subscribe whileyou're there. That's Cossfinancial dot Com.
That's k LaaS Financial dot Com.Phone lines are open right now to get
on the air. Six oh eightthree two one thirteen ten. That's six
oh eight three two one thirteen ten. So this week the conversation it's going

(03:37):
to revolve around caring and paying forour aging parents and how this might affect
your retirement, right CJ. Yeah, this really can have an impact on
our listeners and their future portfolios andtheir retirement plans. So the key words
here that we're going to focus ontoday are longevity and planning. So when

(03:58):
you think of the future, obviouslywe hope to have a long, healthy
retirement, but that can create complexityas it relates to making sure we don't
run out of money. So we'rejust trying to do some some reality setting
today giving you some statistics around kindof the aging population and how many people
are caring for family members. Sowe're going to jump into that here today.

(04:19):
So beginning with currently seventeen percent ofpeople living in the United States,
which is about one in six orfifty five point seven million, we're sixty
five or older. In the yeartwenty twenty one, again, seventeen percent
of the people living in the UnitedStates as of twenty twenty one, we're
sixty five or older, and ananalysis of US census data conducted by the

(04:42):
Population Reference Bureau predicts that that numberwill rise to almost eighty one million by
the year twenty forty. So ifyou've listened to the news and they say,
you know, baby boomers are retiringand we have a lot of people
over the age of sixty five,and you're going, what is this referencing,
Well, here's some of that supportingdata. Right, Almost seventeen percent
of the population is sixty five andolder, and they predict that to be

(05:04):
to go from fifty five million toeighty one million by the year twenty forty.
The reason that's the problem, bythe way, is because if you
have too many people out of theworkforce and too many people pulling from social
security, it creates a problem.But as the massive baby Boomer generation ages
and life expectancy in this country increases, so does the prevalance of chronic medical

(05:24):
conditions like Alzheimer's and the need forlong term care to support that person.
With elder care services being very costlyand long term care insurance premiums being expensive,
countless seniors and their relatives prefer tokeep the task of caregiving in their
family. Of course, so youknow, people say, well, how

(05:46):
many people are caregiving? Well?According to a study by MetLife that looked
at the economic impact of care forseniors, the number of adults taking care
of aging parents has tripled in thepast fifteen years, and a full twenty
five percent of grown children are helpingtheir parents by providing either personal care or
financial assistance. Yes, I didsay twenty five percent of grown adults are

(06:13):
helping their parents by either providing personalcare or financial assistance. Talking about so
go ahead, run guys, justto say. Talking with CJ. Class
and Lei Quavis, our retirement planningprofessionals from Class Financial film lines are open
six eight three two one thirteen ten. The website class financial dot com.
That's class klaas financial dot com andthey're telephone number six eight four four two

(06:34):
five six three seven. Sorry aboutthat, CJ. Let's uh, let's
get back into that, into thatconversation about the caregivers. Yeah, no
worries. Yeah, So you know, the question is who who are these
caregivers? Exactly? And so eightynine percent of caregivers in the US provide
care for a relative or loved onessuch as a spouse with and and the

(06:54):
average caregiver is fIF about fifty yearsold. Uh. And with longevity,
we're also seeing the effects that manyof our clients who are in their fifties
and sixties care for their parents,either financially or physically. And these,
you know, those parents could bein their seventies, eighties, and nineties.
So we are we're seeing and experiencinga role reversal. Right. You

(07:16):
think of this like, oh,my parents raised me, and when I
couldn't take care of myself, theytook care of me. Well, when
you're in your fifties and sixties,it's quite common now twenty five percent of
the population as a matter of fact, is either physically or financially caring for
their parents who might be in theirseventies, eighties, and nineties. So
while caring for your parents is certainlyan important and compassionate thing to do,

(07:40):
we want to highlight some realities associatedwith this, especially as you're working on
your own retirement planning, because truthbe told, as a retirement planning firm,
our average client is sixty seven yearsold. So yes, our average
client is sixty seven years old.That means that we have people who are
bridging both sides of this gap.Right. We have clients who are in

(08:01):
their fifties and sixties who are retiringor planning to retire themselves, and then
we have clients who are in theirseventies, eighties, and nineties who are
receiving care, sometimes from their grownchildren. So we just need to talk
about the realities of this. Numberone reality is stress. First, recognize
that caring for an aging parent isoften a stressful, undertaking and time consuming.

(08:26):
It can take a huge emotional tollon everyone in a family, but
for women, the financial impact canhit especially hard. So long term care.
For the long term care impact forcaregivers is that the realities that most
informal caregivers are female. As amatter of fact, it is seventy five
percent of the time. So whenwe talk about there's a financial impact on

(08:52):
a say, a grown child intheir fifties and so ver sixties taking care
of a family member, it isoften one of your daughters who is caring
for you, and that daughter who'sin their fifties and sixties, it has
a financial impact. And as aresult of being the primary caregiver, that
financial impact can be huge and oftentimeswomen lose value valuable time outside the workforce,

(09:13):
which causes them to have fewer contributionsto pensions and social security and retirement
savings, vehicles, so on andso forth. Now, the cost in
terms of hours and dollars spent,there's actually been some research on this.
As of twenty eighteen, it wasestimated that adult children who provide care to
their parents devote an average of onehundred hours per month, which again can

(09:35):
take a toll on both the financesand the health of that caregiver. And
as baby boomers move into their eightiesand the caregiver burden is likely becoming a
bigger concern to the children, soThere's been some studies done on the estimated
financial cost of these uncompensated you know, children will call it, and lost

(09:56):
wages, soci security benefits and pensionbenefits for care caregivers on average total about
three trillion dollars across the American population. But if you break that out to
you know, per adult child whois caregiving for a loved one, it's
about three hundred and four thousand dollarsof lost wages between socialecurity, pension income,
four one K contributions, things likethat. Now, we're not trying

(10:20):
to scare you here, that's notthe intent. It's rather just to kind
of snap you into reality to saythat's true, isn't it if I'm in
my fifties and sixties and having togo from full time down to part time
because I need to care for momor dad, which is a loving thing
to do. By the way,this is we don't suggest you don't do
it. I want you to carefor your parents. You just have to

(10:41):
recognize that that is taking dollars offthe table from your own future retirement,
and it's certainly something you want towork through with your financial planner. Pretty
eye opening data on information that isfor sure. As we talk about those
numbers and some of those statistics,we're going to talk about developing an action
plan and some of the things youwant to consider when it comes to helping
your parents, especially before you reachthis point. Really important about planning,

(11:05):
as we talked this morning with CJ. Closs and Malia Quavis, our retirement
planning professionals from Class Financial Dortfgate.You can learn more about Class Financial on
their website. Great website, CossFinancial dot com. That's k l Aasfinancial
dot com. A telephone number sixoh eight four four two five six three
seven. No charge for the initialget to know you appoinment tech Coss Financial.
It is complementary to you again thenumber six oh eight four four two

(11:28):
five six three seven and to geton the air this morning regular studio line
six oh eight three two one thirteenten. That's three two one thirteen ten.
We'll talk more with Cjmalia and takeyour call next as Money in Motion
with Coss Financial continues here on thirteenten. Wuiba, This is Money in

(11:50):
Motion with Class Financial, a funand informative show designed to help you get
answers to all your retirement questions inone place, and if you have a
question for our retirement planning professional phonelines are open for you right now at
six O eight three two one thirteenten. That's six soh eight three two
one thirteen ten. You can learnmore about Class Financial on their website class
financial dot com. That's k la A S Financial dot com and their

(12:13):
telephone number six oh eight four fourtwo five six three seven. No charge
for that initial gets to know youappointment at Class Financial. It will be
complimentary to you again their number sixoh eight four four two five six three
seven. Talking this week about caringand paying for aging parents and as we
as I know, one of thebig things and uh we talk about a
lot of the show is planning,and an important part of that is planning.

(12:37):
Same holds true here. I wouldassume as adult children, there are
things we can do to help ourhelp our parents ahead a ahead of time,
aren't there? Yeah, there certainlyis, and you know, timeans
everything. We try to have relevanttopics on our show at relevant times,
and this certainly is a relevant relevanttime of the year when we're moving into

(12:58):
the holiday season and you might havean opportunity to spend some extra time with
your family members such as your parents. So you know, I think what
CJ has outlined for you, asyou know, and again as planners,
we want to face the reality thatthis will be an interruption, and again

(13:18):
you should face the interruption, butit truly is an interruption to your life,
your family's life, and financially couldbe a burden. So that's why
we'd like you to take advantage ofopportunities and that you have when you see
your parents. And so really thefirst step is, honestly, just start
the discussion. And that's where peopleare all like, well, I don't

(13:39):
want to bring it up, andit's like no, no, no,
this is a reality. It's kindof like death. Unfortunately, it's a
reality. So start talking with youto your parents while they're healthy, especially
while they're cognitively healthy. This isvery, very important. And so if
you can do that while they're healthy, having discussions on their future, that

(14:00):
will help you provide for them inthe way they want to be provided for.
And we would also say please includediscussions with your siblings if you have
them, so that everyone is onthe same page. And as adult children
grow up, they're not necessarily alwaysfriends, but when it comes to their
parents, hopefully they're able to bringpeople together within the family to do what

(14:22):
mom and dad want. So we'dlike you to sit down with your parents,
honestly and review their health and medicalsupport needs, like what kind of
medications are you currently on? Areyou seeing the doctor? Believe it or
not, a lot of people nevergo to the doctor, and maybe they
should be. And you know,we're not going to jump into estate planning
today, but make sure that theyhave some of those things figured out with

(14:43):
regards to medical power of attorney andthat that's discussed in their estate planning documents,
hopefully with a will as well,and make sure you gather their important
health and medical contacts. You know, where the closest hospital is. Now,
when we're talking about this, we'rekind of talking about geographical you know,

(15:07):
we're talking about a region and you'reliving kind of near your parents maybe
and you're stopping by, but honestly, many people live very far away from
their kids. I mean, mykids live on four corners basically of this
country. So thinking that there's alwayssomeone nearby is not necessarily the case.
So that's why you're going to needto understand what the healthcare systems are near

(15:28):
your parents, talk about their latestcheckup and review any chronic conditions. Now,
I realize people are prideful and they'relike, I can take care of
myself. I'm okay, and honestly, you know, so this goes for
both sides of you listening. Someof you have parents that you need to
eventually care for, and then youwill be that person at some point as

(15:50):
well. So swallow this and say, hmm, I want to I want
to reach out to my adult childrenand be a little different when it comes
to explaining to them my options.Discuss options for living arrangements. Now,
many people want to remain in theirown home, which is perfectly fine,
but as they need extra help,you would want to find out from your

(16:11):
parents what would make them most comfortable. Maybe there's some remodeling that needs to
happen in their current home. Andyou know, alongside of that is who's
going to finance that? So hencethat could be an impact on your finances.
And my last part on this particularsection is, and this is for
everyone to just you know, hearit and feel it is. Discuss when

(16:33):
it's appropriate to hand over the keysand stop driving, having that conversation with
your parents. Trust me, that'sgoing to be a tough one. But
when they have when your kids havethat conversation with you, even tougher.
So just swallow that seed of knowledgeright now because at some point you personally
might be able to drive, butyou might be causing you know, potential

(16:56):
accidents for other people, So thatyou got to keep that in mind.
Talking this morning with Midlia Quavis andCJ. Closs, our retirement planning professionals
from Class Financial. If you've gota question at time to get you on
the air six oh eight three twoone thirteen ten to forget you can learn
more about Class Financial on their websiteclass financial dot com that's Klaasfinancial dot com
and their telephone number six oh eightfour four two five six three seven.

(17:18):
No charge for that initial gets toknow you appointment deck Class Financially. It
will be complimentary to you again theirnumber six oh eight four four two five
six three seven, And use thatterm prideful. When it came to health
and malia, finances are another oneof those areas where it can be sometimes
difficult for parents to disclose that typeof information. It certainly has been although

(17:40):
Shawn's parents are going to be differentstories and go straight to them and review
it with them. I'm sure,absolutely, but it is tough. We
do see clients in their seventies,eighties, and believe it, even into
their nineties who are like, I'mnot telling my kids what I have,
or I'm not going to tell andthat's when things are good, or I'm
not going to discuss my money troublesto my grown kids in their fifties or

(18:02):
sixties. If you don't have anyknowledge of where your parents are at and
suddenly they need some care, guesswhat it's all going to be on you
and your siblings to figure out howto adjust for that. And so as
much information as you're willing or you'rewilling to give to your adult children or
vice versa, is only going tohelp everyone to come up with a financial

(18:25):
plan. So I recently interacted witha extended family member whose adult children suggested
to him to get a reverse mortgage, which wasn't necessarily the right choice.
Nobody asked me about that, Andyou know, it depends on the situation.
But we're really looking at best casescenarios for you as you age,

(18:48):
and so if your parents are ahomeowner, you know you should go over
any outstanding mortgages or debt, orif there's no debt, are they thinking
about a reverse mortgage or something else. It's just good to have your hands
on what's in their minds so thatyou can come up with some appropriate planning
associated with that. So again,when you're discussing aging plans with your parents,

(19:12):
make sure to get their thoughts onhow they would like their finances handled
if they're no longer able to makethose decisions. Now this gets really touchy.
Today. I'm clear minded, Ican make my own decisions, but
unfortunately, we're seeing more and moreincidences of some cognitive issues and they can

(19:33):
happen very quickly. So just havingthat person in mind in the family that's
able to say, mom, dad, I would help you pay your bills
every month or whatever could actually givethem a good feeling that they's someone to
support them. You're going to wantto know where their financial accounts are open
and contact information for their financial advisors. We spend a lot of time with

(19:56):
our clients making sure that they hopefullycan disseminate this information simply to their own
adult children. And you're gonna wantto want to understand are your parents is
their income derived from Social Security whichwe assume, plus a pension, plus
outside investments, And then you're gonnaalso want to review their insurance plans.

(20:18):
Do they actually have long term careinsurance set up? Will that eventually pay
out to help with their care ordo they have nothing? So you just
need to have that baseline of whereare my parents currently and if something should
happen, how are we going toreact to that and hopefully abide by their
wishes. Talking this morning with MaliaQuavis and CJ. Closs, our retirement

(20:40):
planning professionals from Class Financial the websiteCossfinancial dot com. That's k l aas
Financial dot com. Tell if numbersix eight four four two five six three
seven, no charge for that initialget to know you appointment tech COLSS Financial
eight. We will be complimentary toyou again the number six oh eight four
four two five six three seven.So, Malia, once we get all
this information and have these conversations,it's time to take action, isn't it

(21:03):
right? And really we're saying createa caregiving plan and it's an informal caregiving
plan. Okay, Again, thisis between you, your parents and your
siblings, mom and dad or mom? You know what would we do if
this situation happened? What would theywant you to do? Where do they
want to live? Do they wantto stay in the same community? Do
they eventually want to move closer totheir children? Now I'll tell you most

(21:25):
of my clients when I say soyour kids all live in North Carolina where
the weather's really nice? Are youthinking? And they're like, no,
I have no interest in living withmy kids. So you know, it's
kind of interesting. But eventually pushcomes to shove. Someone's going to have
to react if you're going to getthe kind of care you want from your
children. And finally, review theirestate planning. Like I mentioned, make

(21:48):
sure they have they've done, They'vedone at least a basic will power of
attorney documents and so that if theyhaven't, you can help get that accomplished
before something could happen to them.A lot of vital information this morning,
important conversations to be had in plansto be made. Don't forget as we
talk about planning, we talk aboutthose conversations. Great opportunity as we talk
with CJ. Class and Malia Quavisfrom COSS Financial, Great opportunity to have

(22:11):
a meeting with them, not goingto cost you a thing. That initial
gets to know you conversation. Itis complementary to you. The telephone number
at Coss Financial six oh eight fourfour two five six three seven. Again
that's six oh eight four four twofive six three seven. The website Cossfinancial
dot com that's Klaas financial dot com. Great website. Not only to learn
more about Class Financial, I'll seeksubscribe to the podcast listen back all online.

(22:36):
As we know bad people, badactors, They are very clever and
they love taking advantage of people.We'll talk about the importance of making sure
that your parents are safe from thosefolks. We had some of the details
from CJ. Malia next as Moneyin Motion with Coss Financial continues right here
on thirteen ten WIBA. This isMoney in Motion with Coss Financial, a

(23:00):
fun and informative show designed to helpyou get answers to all your retirement questions
in one place. Joined this weekby our retirement planning professionals Maleia Quavis and
CJ. Closs. Of course,they come to us from Class Financial.
The website class financial dot com.That's k l a As Financial dot com.
And they're telephone number six O eightfour four two five six three seven.

(23:21):
No charge for that initi you'll getto know you appointment tech coss Financial.
It is complementary to you, willbe complimentary to you. And again
the number six oh eight four fourtwo five six three seven talking about caring
for our aging parents and unfortunately there'snot not everybody is a great person,
and there are things that we needto do to protect ourselves but also protect
older parents from people trying to takeadvantage of them. What are some of

(23:44):
the things that you can be doingand some things to talk about with your
with your parents when it comes tothis area. Yeah, this is really
important. You actually have some ofthis going on in my own family right
now with some some declines in healthand just trying to step up and help
family members with care as they moveforward along with the whole car keys as

(24:07):
Milia was talking about. But thenwe get into then we get into scams.
So here's some thoughts. Number One, don't let your parents fall for
these scams. If possible, yourparents are trying to boost their nest egg,
they may be tempted into making investmentsthat promage promise huge returns but are
in reality scams, so just bewatching out for that with your parents.

(24:29):
Again, declining mental health may alsoaffect their ability to make wise decisions,
which is often why scammers will actuallytarget aging individuals. Keep track of where
and how your parents are spending theirmoney, so if possible, just kind
of get access to their bank accountsand once a month or so log in
to take a look at what's goingon with their cash flow and be on

(24:51):
the lookout for any major transactions thatthey're doing. Just again, that could
be a signal of some somebody intheir life scamming them. I'll be frank
with you quite off and it's actuallyfamily members. We're not going to talk
a lot about this. It's anunfortunate reality. But sometimes it's one of
the children or one of the grandchildrenthat have fallen on hard times and they
know that grammar or Grandpa care forthem and they're declining, and so sometimes

(25:15):
it can be a family member takingadvantage of an aging grandparent and then consult
with your parents together with their financialplanner to understand their reality and what may
be coming in the future. Sowe do this quite often where we have
the children of our aging parents comein and they'll just sit in for a
review, and they might ask aquestion or two throughout, just to understand

(25:36):
what it is that we're talking about. But often it's just I just want
to know where things are and what'shappening and who to go to. And
often that what we hear from thosefrom those adult children is, hey,
I just have a better sense ofwhat's going on now, and I know
where to go if anything, ifanything happens, or anything goes wrong.
And then finally, in all ofthis, make sure you care for yourself.

(26:00):
When adult children provide care for agingparents, research has found that their
own health suffers. So people whoare family caregivers are more likely to suffer
from depression, stress, heart disease, alcohol abuse, and other forms of
problems in your life. So soyes, be watching out for your parents,
watch out for scammers, watch outfor problems that could be going on

(26:26):
in your parents' cash flow. Butalso, in the midst of all of
this, make sure you are awareare aware of your own mental health in
the midst of all of this,and hopefully you know Hopefully this has given
you some good tips to watch outfor. Kind of reminds me of last
point of way. You know,most of us kind of tune out those
pre flight instructions on the on theon the plane, but they point out
make sure if you're in a situation, mask your mask on first, and

(26:48):
then assist others. Same thing asif is if you're if you're not in
a good position, it makes youvery difficult. It makes it very difficult
for you to help others around you, including of course the people that matter
most to you, your parents andyour family, so really important stuff.
If you missed any part of today'sprogram, don't forget. You can always
listen back to the website Classfinancial dotcom. That's Klaas Financial dot com.

(27:08):
You can also subscribe to the podcastright online. The telephon number for Class
Financial six oh eight four four twofive six three seven. No charge for
that initial get to know you appointmentat COSS Financial. It will be complimentary
to you again their number six oheight four four two five six three seven.
Hold on to that number as well, because it's time now for the
COSS Quiz Question the Week. Itworks like this, In just a moment,

(27:30):
I'll ask you the Class Quiz questionthe Week. You'll then have thirty
minutes from the inter today's program tocall the COSS Financial office right here in
Madison at six oh eight four fourtwo five, six three seven. If
you are the first caller with thecorrect answer, we'll win this week's prize,
which is a twenty five dollars giftcard to Cracker Barrel. This week's
Coss Quiz question the week is thistrue or false? According to the twenty

(27:51):
twenty one data, adults age sixtyfive or older account for almost seventeen percent
of our current population. Telephone numbersix oh eight four four two five six
three seven. First call with correctanswer one, that's twenty five dollar gift
card to Cracker Barrel. Don't forgetthat it's also Class Financial's office right here
in Madison. Six oh eight fourfour two five six three seven. C.

(28:12):
J. Malia, It's always greatchatting with both of you. You
enjoy this fantastic day. Thanks Sean, Thanks Sean. News comes your way
next right here on thirteen ten WIBA. This is Money in Motion with Coss
Financial Asset Advisors, LLC, aregistered investment advisor registered with the SEC.

(28:34):
The content of this show is forinformational purposes only and should not be considered
individual investment advice. Class Financial doesnot offer tax or legal advice. Any
opinion offered during the course of thisshow is the opinion of that particular investment
advisor representative, and not necessarily theopinion of Coloss Financial