Undefended Dharma with Mary Stancavage
Dharma talks from meditation teacher Mary Stancavage. These focus primarily on the pragmatic aspects of Buddhist teachings and philosophy drawing strongly on wisdom and heart practices. All are viewed through the lens of learning to live with an Undefended Heart. (photo by @kimanhuynh)
Episodes
In our world today we can chase after certificates and degrees to prove who we are and what we know. In this talk Mary reflects on the words of Ajahn Chah who says that these are only "appendages". "We think they are real and we carry them around with us" to prove who we are. Instead, we are invited to turn inwards and allow our inner wisdom to arise. This takes effort, a dedication to the practice, and seeking ...
This week Mary offers a few reflections on suffering and patience and invites your comments and thoughts.
Recorded July 15, 2025 in the virtual world
Visit Mary's website for more info on classes and teachings.
Reflecting on Ruth King's framing of the Three Characteristics, Mary discusses this wonderful perspective on meeting the world. We can make everything so personal and chase perfection or permanence, but to do so only leads to dissatisfaction. Learning to let go of our shoulds and have to's leads to freedom in each moment.
Recorded July 5, 2025 in the virtual world
Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your ...
To live with an undefended heart is a cornerstone of Mary's practice and teaching. However with all the challenges in today's world, does it still make sense. In this talk Mary discusses what it means to live this way and how it is more important than ever right now. Keeping our hearts open is the path to freedom and allows us to be fully present for each moment - whatever it brings.
Recorded June 28, 2025 in the virtual w...
We talk often about the practice being a path to liberation, but what do we actually mean when we say that? In this dharma reflection, Mary investigates what liberation, freedom, awakening all mean in the various schools and lineages of Buddhism. Although the ideas may vary across the teachings, they are all grounded in compassion, wisdom and clear seeing.
Recorded June 21, 2025 in the virtual world
The Buddha created the sangha, or community, of monastics, but his teaching spread to every level of society and we can each be part of a sangha. In this talk Mary discusses the ethical foundations of such a community and how we can create a wise and supportive community where we are. Recalling the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King's idea that we "are tied together in a single garment of destiny, caught in an inescapable net of...
Mary reflects on how often we look for reality or truth somewhere else, when there really is nowhere else. We're invited to recognize how our mind struggles to create different stories to suit what we want but freedom lies in being able to stay right where we are.
Recorded June 7, 2025 in the virtual world
When we don't pay attention to our thoughts, we’re often acting from habits that have been strengthened over the years, and which can be difficult to break. The Buddha’s teaching on liberation and awakening, the Eightfold Path, also offers us a path to freedom from these habits. When we intentionally use this path as a roadmap for how we move through the world, we are building a foundation that is strong and serves us in all ...
This is a short reflection on the arising of insight from knowing and sensing and the calmness that allows us to meet each moment as it is. The world is on fire and developing the capacity to be present for ourselves and others is vital. Insight meditation practice offers us a way to meet the moment.
Recorded May 24, 2025 in the virtual world
With every ending there is a time to reflect before the beginning, but we often neglect this time in our haste to be on to the next new thing. The Buddha's teaching of impermanence or anicca, reminds us that all things come to an end whether we're ready or not. Citing William Bridges' work in The Way of Transition, Mary reminds to be present with the time between endings and beginnings, and to tend to the experience ...
Mary discusses the idea of Skillful Means which Joseph Goldstein says is "for liberating the clinging mind from suffering." Using the wisdom, discernment and compassion that has arisen from our practice, we can navigate life skillfully while being fully grounded in the Buddha's teachings. Being fully present in the moment allows us to respond to everything wisely and skillfully. We let go of what doesn't serve ...
During these days when greed, hatred and delusion are running rampant, the Buddha's teachings on nonviolence and compassion are extremely relevant. Mary offers some examples from the suttas and points out the similarities to other world traditions who are deeply grounded in love.
Recorded May 1, 2025 in the virtual world
Additional reflections on insight practice and how our insights are experienced at the somatic and instinctive level rather than our trying to figure things out. Inspired by the teachings on a recent retreat, Mary offers thoughts on seeing clearly, intuitive awareness and paying attention wherever we are.
Recorded April 26, 2024 in the virtual world
Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and email if you wou...
Mary attended a retreat this week and offers some reflections on kindness to ourselves, awareness, insight and interconnections. The name of the retreat was Retreat as Ceremony: Mindfulness and Indigenous Presence for Wellness and Healing. Check it out!
Recorded April 21, 2025 in the virtual world
The Five Remembrances (AN 5.57) allow us to become comfortable with our mortality and the human condition and serve as an antidote to clinging. The fifth remembrance is to reflect on the fact that all we have are our actions since we will be separated from everything because of impermanence. Mary discusses the importance of understanding this idea so we can move through the world acting wisely and skillfully, for our own liberation...
Reflecting on the Rajan Sutta, Mary talks about the twofold teaching it offers. Just as we hold ourselves dear, we realized that others feel the same and knowing this, we vow to cause no harm. However, this can be a challenging practice and Mary offers thoughts on what might get in the way and how we can begin to hold both ourselves and others with kindness and compassion.
Recorded April 5, 2025 in the virtual world
We're often given the instruction to relax during meditation. It is not just so that we feel relaxed or calm, but it allows us to let go of what we're holding and to make space for what's right here. We're creating the environment to be present for reality and move towards equanimity in each moment.
Recorded 3/29/2025 in the virtual world
Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and email ...
In this brief reflection, Mary discusses the Buddha's teaching on the Eight Worldly Winds and how appropriate it is for today's world. Equanimity invites us to an appropriate response to whatever experience we have and when we understand the teaching of the winds and how we're driven by them if we don't pay attention, there is a chance for liberation. The roller coaster calms when we see things as they are and d...
Although the Buddha did not teach using the word hope, his teachings are, as Oren Jay Sofer says, fundamentally hopeful: It affirms that there is a reliable way to release ourselves from suffering, to protect other beings, mitigate harm, and build a better world. In this talk Mary reflects on the importance of hope in this world today and how it is an action not tied to expectations or outcomes. As Austin Channing Brown says, &quo...
The monkey mind is a phrase often used to describe a mind that is all over the place and seldom in the present. All of us experience monkey mind, overwhelm or the Pali word Papañca. In this reflection Mary invites us to recognize when we get lost in this proliferation of thought and how to stay present. In these difficult days, we can be overwhelmed quite easily and recognition and returning to this moment enable us to stay where w...
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