Zen Wisdom for Your Everyday Life

We are driven by the need to be right, not wrong. And many of the conflicts in our relationships are caused by this, as well.  When a difference of any kind arises, we immediately insist that we are right, the other is wrong. 
These labels cover the larger truth of the matter, as we enter into conflict, anger and often loss. There is another way to handle this. Realize that we are all both right and wrong all the time. And that...

So much of our lives are filled with questions that have no answer. We go around and around in our mind trying to figure everything out. These questions about ourselves, others, what will happen, and what's the best road to take, plague us endlessly. They prevent us from being present for what's going on and fully experiencing our lives. In fact the questions create so much confusion, they actually lead us in the wrong di...

No matter what's going on, how we see the event or person,  determines what they becomes to us. We can find that which is devastating about them and ties us in knots.  Or, we can let go of opposing and rejecting what's going  on,  and experience each moment fully, just as it is. When we do that we make room for things to change and flow.  As we let go, so do others we're in contact with. As we open our minds and hear...

We're all looking for thrills and chills as we go through life. Our ordinary everyday life seems too simple, dull and repetetive.  To make life special we feel we have to jazz things up, create dazzling goals, become someone special, receive all kinds of acclaim. Or else we've failed, missed our chance. Zen practice shows us just the opposite. Every day, just as it comes and as it goes, is extremely precious. As we attend...

We live most of our lives surrounded by Dire Predictions, a snowstorm is on the way, huge winds, dangerous conditiions. And, then, before we know it, the snow has turned to light rain and the sun begins breaking through. Dire predictions come from all directions regarding most aspects of our lives. When we focus upon them, believe them, guard against them all day long, our lives are tangled in fear and pain. When we stay with thing...

How many of us can really allow ourselves to really live, feel the sun, hear our neighbor, 
be present and available to all that arrives. This is actually a great art, and in order to do it, we must learn the great secret of "Allowing". It is rare that we allow anything to happen, just as it does. Immediately, we want to fix it, judge it, take control of it, whether it is an event or a relationship. The problem is tha...

We are always waiting for something to happen to make things right. There's usually something missing in what's going on right now. We want it to turnout differenly and won't stop until it does. There's a picture in our mind of how everything is supposed to go. Most of us refuse to feel satisfied until our picture is fulfilled. Then we'll feel as if we've won, worthwhile.  But life has its own ideas ab...

We are not aware of how much we reject life. A gap takes place before we are willing to notice, engage with and accept what's going on. Often we just block things we don't like out. Or, our initial response is to judge what's taking place, filter it through our past experiences. Take a few steps away. It is rare to simply to be present for whatever the moment brings. And beyond that it is an act of wonder to learn ho...

True communication comes in many forms. So often we present an image of ourselves, play a role or speak to impress, or influence. This type of interaction causes division, not only within ourselves, but in our relationships. All long for true connection, to be seen, known and heard. And how is that possible, when we are not  interacting simply and diretly from the truth of who we are.  Yet, no matter what we say, the truth of who w...

We all wish each other a Happy New Year, and mean it. But what does it mean to be truly happy?? Usually we think it includes lots of laughs and smiles, a happy face and demeanor. Certainly, it is a pleasure to feel that way, but how long does a feeling like that last? It comes and goes due to circumstances. When things go our way, the smiles appear, when a sudden thunder storm comes, our smiles disappear. Yet, there is a way to liv...

Even though everyday is new,  we drag the old along with us wherever we go.  Then, longing for a new start, we look for it everywhere. Some move to  a new neighborhood or relationship, profession, even new haircut.. As we approach the new year, we reflect upon the year gone by and dwell upon how we want things to change. However, one thing we overlook, is that things change every moment. Every breath is fresh, every day is new. It&...

We're always waiting for things to be fulfilled, for the job to be over,  for good news to arrive, or for our long wait to be over, for our needs to be met. As a  Zen Master saw his driven students, pushing and striving for results,  he always said to them, "Not Yet."  However much they strained and hoped,  he always simply shook his head and said,  "Not yet."  Some took this to mean they were failures, wou...

Caught in our thoughts we feel that we know what's going on, and respond accordingly. Instead of paying precious attention to what's right in front of us, our attention is caught and trapped by our endless obsessions. What a pity. Our trapped attention hasn't a chance, can't breathe, live or even see the beautiful sun that is just waiting for peek out behind the clouds and warm the entire sky. If we don't s...

It's so easy to become upset when things don't work out our way. Many feel like failures, that no matter what they do, but life just proceeds as it wishes. Nothing to feel badly about. We do all we can and certainly can bring benefit, but let's take a moment and dwell upon the most significant koan, question of all. Ultimately,  Who's In Charge?  You are a visitor here and life will continue on in its own way, l...

We have so many expectations about what is going to happen, what needs to happen and how to manage everything. So many hours are spent planning how to navigate the twists and turns of life, to be ready for everything. Yet, most of the things we expected, don't happen. And what we don't expect arrives on its own. Our reactions to this dominate our life, anger, upset, immediately trying to change, fix or alter what's g...

Thanksiving is here, a yearly time to remember, thank and reach out. But this practice is so powerful and central to our well being, our lives would turn around if we took a day or two each week, (or more) and gave thanks all day long.  Normally, our brains are wired to focus upon what is wrong, what's lacking and who did us harm. That seems to be our automatic reaction as we go through our days. And all the while, the opposit...

Where is God when I need Him?? This cry is heard so loudly these days and during times of trouble. Let's explore the feelings of abandonment, loss and the confusion we experience as things seem to go out of control. There is a secret answer which is here right where we stand and live. Especially at the kitchen table.  The problem is not that God is absent, it is us. We are not here. We're not available, connected, aware a...

So many phrases we use are routine, casual, empty comments to daily questions. For example, how are you today? How's it going? Fine, fine. Really? How's what going? Nothing has really been asked, and no answer given. We hide behind words, slogans, easy responses, use them as a way to get by, to be accepted or admired. In this way we create our own confusion and rip the meaning out of our lives. The power of true communica...

Everyone wonders where to go, how to get to our destination. We try to figure out all the twists and turns in the road. So often there's a fork in the road, or our journey is not what we expected. As we figure out what to do, we lose touch with the very step itself. We're not right here experiencing the step, or moment, fully. Instead most of us is engaged in figuring out where to go. However, when we return totally to wh...