Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I want to read this text that a listener sit in.
One of these days, You guys should all wear adult
diapers during the show. You have to eat and drink
like a normal amount. Then you have to announce number
one or number two and maintain eye contact with your
co host. Let's see how awkward the show can get.
So I'm going to go ahead and say that's not
(00:35):
going to happen. Thanks, because I can't. I let me
tell you a little story how I got connected to
this show. I was working at another radio station and
one of the sister stations to this station in Oklahoma
City aired a bit about eating a burrito and taking
(00:57):
a deuce. They fired not just the guy that did
the bit, they fired the program director as well, because
they put it in a freaking promo and that allowed
me to step into that and then evolve to hear right.
And so when that happened, I said to myself, don't
(01:19):
do feces.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Thanks. Yeah, so I try really hard.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
You might ever notice, like gimpy the day was like, hey,
I got a I'm like, get gay.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
It gets too sticky. You just stay away. I don't
even know what you put in.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Best of most of the time, or into a daily
like that runs all day and I just would rather
not have That's how I ensure it won't make it
into a daily.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Yeah, because we just try not to go near it.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah, absolutely, that's a good rule of thumb to have.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
There and let other people's failures be my lesson. That's
just so we will never be doing that.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
So Lindsay was very She was like, hey, can we
do this? I was like, yeah, right, makes me glad
I'm in my own little room.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Wouldn't that be fun to announce our bodily functions to
each other?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Right?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
No? No, no, I'll gladly fart in front of you.
Yeah yeah, I'll stare at you.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Why far? But that's different. It makes me wonder if
that person does that at their job, why you don't
hit them back? Do that at your own fucking job? Okay?
No no, no, no, no no no no.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
See how far you get with that?
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Right? How long will it take for you to be
in the HR office?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
People are like, the show has changed so much? No shit,
who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Right? I am well aware.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
I have never been more stressed for my job than
I am now, Right, right, because of all the things.
And you're like, it's changed.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Fuck you kind of like working that's yeah, I got
a hurry people.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Relying on me.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Uh huh, so you can fucking eat a dick, not
sing go fuck your mom. Wow, that's been boiling up
there for a little since b left. Or are you
a fucking genius boy? You're just fucking Mattlock, aren't you.
It's different?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Wow? How astute? I thought it was the exact same.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Oh no, it has been exactly without somebody sitting across
from me who's never been in this goddamn billy right.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Anyway.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yeah, so what's this chair, this queening chair? Well, it's
a sexual apparatus, is what it is. And it has
some history to it. It has some history to it now.
Apparently the women back in the day, the royalty, back
in the day would sit on this chair that has
uh the bottoms missing out of it for the most part.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
And uh and so men they would have their male servants.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Crawl under this chair and uh service them orally while
they're sitting there doing their fucking you know, royal business,
not like taking a shit.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Or anything like that, but you know, and you know
they would have, you know, oral sex.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
They would orally stimulate the women, right that are sitting
in these chairs while the women went along their daily
business doing royalty things. So I saw that this morning,
and that's not the first time that I've seen that chair,
but it's the first time I sat down and actually
thought about it. Now, these were used in heyse, medieval times, right,
(04:47):
you would say, I don't.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Know because I'm looking at it going current people doing it.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Yeah, there's yeah, there's some newer versions of it out
there for sure.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
But I was sitting there thinking, I was like, all.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Right, so they didn't have soap, they didn't have water,
They probably had the smelliest goddamn vaginas ever, Like you
could smell that shit, they know, So think about the muskiest,
disgustingest vaginer that you could ever possibly think of, and
some guys forced to lay underneath there and you know,
(05:22):
little God to town on that until she feels like
she's satisfied.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Well, I mean sex in general back then, medieval times.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
No, it wasn't exactly romantic.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
No, it was very barbaric. Yes, it was served a purpose,
not a pleasure, absolutely, But we've all had stinky jiner
in our face at some point in time, whether it's
you know, from Linda, if we don't know that you
ever go.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
To a strip club, Lindsay, and why I tell you
what sidetrack?
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Oh? Right, turn my bachelor party when I got married. Now,
one time, right went down to the local strip club
and everything was fine, and my buddy's like, I'll buy
you a lap dance. I'm like, that's fucking great. I
love it because that's what you're supposed to do. And
she gets up there and she starts dancing on me.
I'm like, this is great. And then she started talking
(06:15):
to me and she smelled like fucking garlic, like she
just got done eating at the goddamn Olive garden. And
then she puts that thing up in my face and
then it smells like fish. So now I've got this
really disgusting clam sauce that's just all over me. It's
fucking disgusting. It was the worst experience that I've ever
had at a newdi bar.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
That's it, that's bottom line.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Nonetheless, my worst one was going It was a bachelor
party as well, and a girl was with us, and
she went to the bathroom and came back and watching
some of our friends get dances and you know where
they take your head and shove it in your their
crotch or their butts, and her laughing. We were like,
what's so funny, and she's like, we're just talking about
their diarrhea.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Fu man, because it's a job that's exactly their people too, and.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
They have those days.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I've stopped to grab the taco bell them all way,
and you know, stuff happens.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
I think those are the days.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
I mean, if I were in that profession, those are
the days I'd be calling off.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Right. You just feel a little bubbly, and you're like.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
I want to I want to be fresh and clean
down there. If that's what I'm shoving someone's face down there.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
No way, I don't believe that. Not you.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I believe you when you say that, But I don't
think people in that industry think that way because they
go on.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Their period, right, you don't think about that.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Women don't typically feel fresh sexy on their period.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Yeah, oh.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Right, so now you're out seven.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
But customers that are really into that thing and look for.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
That everything, absolutely, that'll be fifteen dollars.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Okay, thanks, you send anywhere you want, make sure you
tip the when the bucket goes around.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Hey, quick question.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Any of the ladies on the period today or is
it like a sandwich board at the front, Like, oh god,
here's our blue plate, special red cinnamon. Mercedes, ROAs and
Ivory are riding the pony.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Gross. Gross, Gross.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
That's all I got to say about or or or
they wear a special necklace so we know.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
I like that, I like that bracelet or something of
that effect.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Do you want to dance? Oh god, no, right, the
bears are going to be angry.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
You see their string.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Just watch for the ones that are wearing.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
That's happened to me, That has happened to me. I
have two period at strip club stories. Both of them
involve our friend promo Brady Nice. We used to there
used to be a strip club here called the Ritz
Ritz Cabaret, and it was a fine It was a
fine was in an old like chee cheese or I
don't know what, something like that over there by the
Target on twenty first, and they were good radio spinders,
(09:08):
and we would go and do promotions there and remotes
and we would kind of sit to the back, and
of course Brady fucking knew everybody and we would sit
there and they would talk with us and hang out.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
They never asked he they wouldn't give us dance, and
they just hang out. It was fine.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
And so we were sitting there and one girl's like, oh,
I gotta go up on stage, you know whatever.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
And she goes to the back room, you.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Know, comes back to the front and her song comes
on whatever, some Motley Cruse song or tool or something,
and she's dancing and then she's on all fours and
Brady kind of tips his head to the side and
I happened to tip my head's side and I'm like, what.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
The fuck is that between her legs. He's like, I
think that's her string pull in here. Talk right, it
isn't a pinata.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
No.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
And another time we were the girl kind of the
same thing.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
She was dancing in all fours, wearing a white any bottom,
and the mother comes, the mother of the house comes
running out, pulls her off stage, and we all were like,
why did she Oh no, she said those weren't those
weren't Poka dot right, she.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Sat in some kool aid. Uh huh uh. Yeah. That's
terrible life, man, Yeah, it happens.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
It happens.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
You get your period when you don't want it, your
ship sometimes when you don't want it.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
What would be your weird niche at a strip club?
You'd like to go, I'll go first because I know
mine would be pregnant.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Yeah, I saw that.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
It's a thing.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, you went to a porn I'm sorry,
a strip club with pregnancy.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Yeah no, not me being pregnant.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
You saw it.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
The dancer was pregnant, big time, like ready to pop,
full fledged.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
Oh yeah. This was at the strip club down on.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Had it turned and everything like you falla, wow, they.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
Have a strip club down there and there.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Was this feels like you're telling a recent story.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
No, it was probably it was at least ten years ago, Okay, and.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
That means the kid's ten. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
Yeah, she was ready to pop and she was up
there just doing her thing.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
That's not that bad. I don't think pregnant. I mean
it's a little weird.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I think there's teasers. Gentlemen's Club.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Does you have the one down there?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
And or Club sixty.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Nine, Giggy, the sixty nine Cattle Company, sixty nine Cattle Coup.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
They're all hepty chicks down here. He follows premiere Gentleman's Club.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Oh premier. I think if I had to pick an
obscure niche, I'm going with amputees and amputees missing arm,
missing leg, missing two legs, missing.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Two arms, got just the legs, no arm. You see
what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Kind of stumps me. But I thought I thought you
would have picked a midget.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
All.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
I love bidgets. Yeah, that's pantastic that that traveling circus
goes all over and sometimes Land's here and Tulsa. It's
been a while since I've seen midget trippers here and Tolds.
But the fact of it is that's more popular, I
think than amputees. And I think having an amputee get
up there it builds their confidence.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
For one, Listen, you're still sexy, even though it's like,
do I have to give you a full dollar? I
think so, it's only it's only fair because they're giving
you a dance. Even if they're up there for a dance.
If they're up there just hopping on one, I just
picked them up and put them on my lap. Like
that's that depends. I don't want to the chair. Oh no,
(12:53):
that'd be.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Fantastic because she comes walking out on her hands you know,
ass up in the air, no legs, you know, and
then just plops right down in your lap gyrates around
a little bit.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
The boat.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yeah yeah, something to that effect, you know.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Or or you know, she's an armless woman up on
the stage dancing around.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
A pole country song. She's an armless woman, seeing.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
How that would work out, I think would be great.
Or just a woman with you know, one leg and
two arms go up there hopping up on the stage. Dude,
I'm thinking that might be something there. I think that
might be something there.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
I'm surprising all the gaps of dating that you've had
to experience that has not been a box.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
You checked that happy tea midget. Yeah, midget is the
reason why.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
I got on the radio and I tried to Uh,
I tried, I tried, but uh it just wasn't going anywhere.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
So I was like, okay, bye, but thanks.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
For getting me in the radio.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Appreciate it. I've made out with them, right, I knew that.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yeah yeah yeah, and that's the same major the one
that got me in the radio got me more on common.
I oh everything I have right now to that tiny
little woman named Brandy.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Oh, it's gonna ad you do you still know her name? Yeah?
Does she ever populate your Facebook anymore? No?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
No, this is well before social media and Facebook or
anything like that. And uh, i'd.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Only we don't.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
I'd only known her for maybe a couple of months,
long enough to hang out a few times, find out
how does she Because she started going to the broadcast
in school and I was like, oh, because I was
trying to figure out what I'm gonna do with my life,
I was like.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Well, fuck, if she can do it, so can I.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Not like midgets are incapable of.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
But you see what I'm saying, right, she's got this,
you know, the willpower to go.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I didn't. I didn't know. I didn't know where itsiration. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Uh, when you kissed her, do you pick her up
and hold her like with both hands or did it
like do you hold her underneath the shoulders?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
I had to stoop down? Okay, underneath the shoulders? That's
too kid like.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
You know, it's all kid like, not necessarily not all,
I mean, not a last but what he was fucking small?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yeah, there's there's uh s x S and f s. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
I do know that she had to have blocks on
her her pedals on her van that she drove.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Okay, I think that's yeah. I do know that, so
I don't know exactly how tall.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
But she she was tiny, a short little thing whenever,
so I got to make out with the one.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
But I guess I wasn't waiting around sure.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
That she was a midget and not a dwarf.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Does what's the difference?
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I believe dwarfism is.
Speaker 5 (15:47):
I think that dwarfism means that your arms are like
the regular length, but your hands are bigger or smaller.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I you're saying it. I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I thought it was just a height thing. I thought
little people was anything under four to one.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
I'm gonna look it up because there isn't a real difference.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
It was just an umbrella term for me. She could
have been a dwarf for a midget or.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
What fuck ever. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
I just they've always been madjes to me the term
madges considered defensive.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Well yeah, no shit, no no no, no no no no
no no no, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Not fine, Okay, A midget a midget is a term
used for a proportionate dwarf.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
So I guess Lindsay was right on the right track.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Anyway, Okay, less than A dwarf is extremely short adult
who is less than fifty eight inches tall.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
For which is for.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
That's a one hundred and forty seven Okay, So this
says dwarf refers to specific specifically to individuals with dwarf ism,
which is a medical condition. Dwarfism is typically defined as
having an adult height a four to ten or short
her due to a genetic or medical condition. The most
common form of dwarfism is a chondroplasia, with over four
hundred different types.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Sure yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Little person is a broader and more inclusive, generally preferred
term used by many people with dwarfism. It emphasizes the
humanity and personhood of the individual rather than their condition.
Dwarf is more specific to a medical condition. A little
person is more of a broad term.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Got you what'd you find?
Speaker 5 (17:30):
I read that dwarf has a disproportion of body parts,
usually caused.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
By genetic Okay, and then some.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
Short person midget extremely short, less than fifty eight inches tall,
but normally proportioned.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
I saw her at a tool concert. I asked her
if she needed help watching the show see Shit? She
said sure.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
I popped her up on my shoulders and then we
walked out to her Vano made out while while we
wait for her friends to show up, and then we
went on a few days after that.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Yeah, fifty eight inches is four feet ten. Well, there
you go wherever she's at if she's listening.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
When you were talking about this chair, which is bizarre,
I think in terms of like all the sexual toys
that are available.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I think it's a really bizarre one.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
It feels like from the videos I watched of it,
it looked like suffocating the like the person underneath. I
don't know how that's a more pleasurable experience compared.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
To the other way to give oral sex.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Right, Well, I mean you can't talk to your delegates
and get orally serviced at the same time.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
You know that's fair and your traditional sam.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Sure, so I see more of a modern and also,
don't sleep on Etsy man. They had a ton available
for purchase, different styles, different makes, different accessories, and how many.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Of those do you have in your cart?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Now?
Speaker 5 (18:55):
No, they have a master series Queen Chair sex toy
on Amazon and the reviews are awesome.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Why don't you get one of those? Uh?
Speaker 3 (19:10):
You know those the ones that the stool that you know,
for like when you're you know, broke in or whatever
and you just kind of slide off of the bed
and then you shit and and then somebody asked to feel,
you know, empty it or whatever.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
It's not a badpan, but you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
You know, it's just an actual stool, you know, and
you just take the bucket off of that and.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Use it, and I bet you'd only cost you like
thirty bucks.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
There are some really crazy, wild extreme sex toys and
I'm like, really like when you were talking about this,
I thought it was the chair that has the is
it called a doxing chair where the dildo you rock
in the chair and as you rock in the chair,
the dildo slides.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
I've never heard. But okay, all right.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Good covering the Uh. It was in the movie uh
with Brad Pitt and George Clooney. George Clooney makes one.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Okay, I know what you're talking about now, Yeah, okay, okay,
but dad.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Dude, Like, hey, Dad's out in the garage building furniture. Yeah.
And here like here's a milking chair.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
God damn, here's a bench, yeah, or a Saint Andrew's cross,
a portable one.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Oh really? So it was like when you could take
the Oklahoma with you. I guess.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Then then there's this thing. This is just fifteen dollars
and it folds up, looks like a you know, butcher block.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Oh yeah, got your head place to put your head
in your arms? I kind of like stocks, kind of
like stocks. Okay, okay, yeah, sure, shit because I bet you. Okay,
So knees on the pad, head through the hole, hands
and the shackles, shackles.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Yeah yeah, so you can roll around. Yeah yeah. I
don't know why I want to see this in action,
but I do.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
I've seen beds that, like the bed frames, like the
footboards and stuff like that, and the headboards are stocks,
and I was like.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Okay, well that's interesting, that's fun. I could get down
on that. I gotta be honest.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
If I met a girl and she's like, do you
want to come back to my room and she pulled
she pulls this shit out, I'm.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Like, oh you're leaving on that one.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Hunh.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
I didn't say leave. I'm definitely gonna slow everything down.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Okay, I'm not gonna go hunt moose, Okay, right, If
I'm going hunting, I'm gonna start small and work my
way up.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Yeah, little rabbit.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yeah, I'm not gonna jump right into like the craziest thing.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
That feels like a lot.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
I'm for that. I am all for oh yeah, like
you being it, I don't know about me being in it.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
I think it's gotta go both ways. I think you
have to be willing to do both.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
I mean, I guess, I mean that's between me and
my partner, but I I would be down for, you know,
to have fun with that.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
Sure, like, okay, what's the safe let's go?
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I guess would you even discuss the safe word? Probably not?
Probably not. How would you know they're uncomfortable when they
say I'm uncomfortable? Yeah, I know.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Stop yeah, ow right, don't stop, don't stop?
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Yeah, no disrespect here, But you don't feel like the
guy during second when they say stop. Oh no no, no, no, no,
you don't mean that they don't believe them.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Oh yeah, well yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
If they say stop, that usually will ruin everything. I
think right there, I think it is. It's it's in inflection.
If you're having sense with your partner and they're like, stop.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
I don't even know, like you don't you don't listen
to it.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
If there's like some sort of grunt before maybe right,
But if they're like crying tears, stop obviously is a
good like I think this means.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
I should stop.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Yeah, that's usually I guess a good indicator. And as
to that point, then I would probably stop.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
Probably.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Here's the thing, man, anytime you hear the word stop,
when it comes with that, you should at least stop
for a second and ask, hey, is everything all right?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
What's what's going on here? No, don't that's just I
feel like something I've heard. Maybe, so I said, don't stop.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Well, you need to enunciate the don't part communicate clearly. Well,
I'm taking you to the third dimension, right, man, girl, girl,
I don't know if Lindsay knows that video.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Do you know that video?
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Like I've played the clip on the show a couple
of times.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yeah, it's a fantastic piece of audio. Oh, it's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Is he like death or something like that?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (23:48):
And she she he's railing this girl, and she's like, says,
talk dirty to me or something like that. She tries
to prompt him to talk dirty, but he's deaf, so
he finally talks and he has.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
A cliche deaf person, stereotypical you know, myal like he
can't talk.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, and he when you see the video on him,
do it eat.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Oh it's hilarious, some sort of Christopher Reeve thing.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
AnyWho.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
So, yeah, I can't talk about feces that trouble, but
this we're good. Oh goddamn day.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Well this is the uncensored podcast.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
We can get away with you.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
You probably could talk dookie too, but.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
You know, I'm good. Yeah, yeah, sex cheers is way
cooler than you know, feces.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah, at one point in my life I did have
a sex swing, and uh, it was more trouble to
put up than any he.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Could put the door frame.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
It came with like a self like a frame, like
a frame thing, like an a frame sort of thing.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah, okay, but then it was like you gotta so
like put it together, like hey, it takes.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
A few minutes, right, and by then you gotta get
the Allen wrench and tighten the things down, and then
you gotta get the thing out and then where do
you put it because it's fucking you know, takes up
because it's trying to hold weight. And then and then
You're like, do you put it up like before we go,
and then do you put it over the bed?
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Like there's just not Who has a fucking tin by
tin space? Right, exactly got.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
To have a sex room if you're gonna have all
that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
I had friends that had theirs hanging up in the
living room again. Door frame, you know, like those little
baby jumper things.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
One to go on the back of the door. I've
seen those times of sex. Sweet Yeah, this.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Was clamped up on the on the door, on the
door frame, you know, just hanging on there. And and
I was like, well, that's it's nice to know that
this is what you use your kitchen. Good for you, right.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
I think you bring up a fair point because some
people don't understand how door latches work, and they the
little leverage thing that goes on the back of the
door to kind of like keep it from so you
can use it as a wedge, pulls, puts torque, but
it also kind of like torks the door a little bit,
so the latch can like separate from the hold and
(26:14):
like ruin door.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Uh yeah, you could also fall with that too.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
We're worried about ruining the door. I mean but whatever.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
For sure, Yeah, if you were gonna do it, you'd
want to do it on like an entrance door with
a dead bold on.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
You see what I'm saying, Like it gets on all
these goudamn plan anything.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
You're like, this is ain't fucking yeah, fifty shades of
gray at all?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
No.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
No, And so I had that, and then I met
my wife, my current wife, and I was like, I
gotta get rid of this.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
That's gonna have too many fucking questions. Oh yeah, oh yeah,
there's always that. You know, it wasn't me in that swing.
So of course we never used it, right, So it's like,
you know.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
You can't, you can't, you can't, you can't do that. Yeah,
it's like keeping nudes of your wreck is around or whatever.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
My biggest problem now is like I'll remember trips or
vacations and she'll go, that wasn't me.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
I was like, oh fuck, really, I'm like, are you sure?
I'm sure must have been your other girlfriend. She was
like that's your other wife and I was like, ah,
she's dead.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Yeah, she's like reminiscent about it. I'm like, no, fuck, no,
it's just a memory. I didn't say like remember when
we had fun fucking in this place.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
That's what I said.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
I said, you've been there. No, I've never been there.
That was your other Ah? You sure I would remember that.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
I don't know. I've had that conversation over a burrito before.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Well, yeah, last time we were here, you you got
the burrito. Nope, wasn't me. Must have been your other girlfriend. No,
I swear to god you had Nope.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Fuck'll shut up. I think it's not about shutting up
at that when it's like trying to be like I.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Wouldn't do that.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I wouldn't intentionally bring up a memory that didn't include
your exactly.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I didn't start.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
I'm talking outside of this show. Bears no interest to
me anymore. I barely want to talk on this show.
To keep your mouth shut, you're a lot safer that way.
But silence doesn't win award. So speaking of silence, and
we have reached the end, thank god, because I wasn't
(28:36):
sure what the next topic.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Was going to be. Gotelling here.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Uh you guys have a fantastic week and we'll talk
to you soon.
Speaker 5 (28:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Bye bye
I want to read this text that a listener sit in.
One of these days, You guys should all wear adult
diapers during the show. You have to eat and drink
like a normal amount. Then you have to announce number
one or number two and maintain eye contact with your
co host. Let's see how awkward the show can get.
So I'm going to go ahead and say that's not
(00:35):
going to happen. Thanks, because I can't. I let me
tell you a little story how I got connected to
this show. I was working at another radio station and
one of the sister stations to this station in Oklahoma
City aired a bit about eating a burrito and taking
(00:57):
a deuce. They fired not just the guy that did
the bit, they fired the program director as well, because
they put it in a freaking promo and that allowed
me to step into that and then evolve to hear right.
And so when that happened, I said to myself, don't
(01:19):
do feces.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Thanks. Yeah, so I try really hard.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
You might ever notice, like gimpy the day was like, hey,
I got a I'm like, get gay.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
It gets too sticky. You just stay away. I don't
even know what you put in.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Best of most of the time, or into a daily
like that runs all day and I just would rather
not have That's how I ensure it won't make it
into a daily.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Yeah, because we just try not to go near it.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah, absolutely, that's a good rule of thumb to have.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
There and let other people's failures be my lesson. That's
just so we will never be doing that.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
So Lindsay was very She was like, hey, can we
do this? I was like, yeah, right, makes me glad
I'm in my own little room.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Wouldn't that be fun to announce our bodily functions to
each other?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Right?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
No? No, no, I'll gladly fart in front of you.
Yeah yeah, I'll stare at you.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Why far? But that's different. It makes me wonder if
that person does that at their job, why you don't
hit them back? Do that at your own fucking job? Okay?
No no, no, no, no no no no.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
See how far you get with that?
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Right? How long will it take for you to be
in the HR office?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
People are like, the show has changed so much? No shit,
who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Right? I am well aware.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
I have never been more stressed for my job than
I am now, Right, right, because of all the things.
And you're like, it's changed.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Fuck you kind of like working that's yeah, I got
a hurry people.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Relying on me.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Uh huh, so you can fucking eat a dick, not
sing go fuck your mom. Wow, that's been boiling up
there for a little since b left. Or are you
a fucking genius boy? You're just fucking Mattlock, aren't you.
It's different?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Wow? How astute? I thought it was the exact same.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Oh no, it has been exactly without somebody sitting across
from me who's never been in this goddamn billy right.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Anyway.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yeah, so what's this chair, this queening chair? Well, it's
a sexual apparatus, is what it is. And it has
some history to it. It has some history to it now.
Apparently the women back in the day, the royalty, back
in the day would sit on this chair that has
uh the bottoms missing out of it for the most part.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
And uh and so men they would have their male servants.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Crawl under this chair and uh service them orally while
they're sitting there doing their fucking you know, royal business,
not like taking a shit.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Or anything like that, but you know, and you know
they would have, you know, oral sex.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
They would orally stimulate the women, right that are sitting
in these chairs while the women went along their daily
business doing royalty things. So I saw that this morning,
and that's not the first time that I've seen that chair,
but it's the first time I sat down and actually
thought about it. Now, these were used in heyse, medieval times, right,
(04:47):
you would say, I don't.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Know because I'm looking at it going current people doing it.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Yeah, there's yeah, there's some newer versions of it out
there for sure.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
But I was sitting there thinking, I was like, all.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Right, so they didn't have soap, they didn't have water,
They probably had the smelliest goddamn vaginas ever, Like you
could smell that shit, they know, So think about the muskiest,
disgustingest vaginer that you could ever possibly think of, and
some guys forced to lay underneath there and you know,
(05:22):
little God to town on that until she feels like
she's satisfied.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Well, I mean sex in general back then, medieval times.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
No, it wasn't exactly romantic.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
No, it was very barbaric. Yes, it was served a purpose,
not a pleasure, absolutely, But we've all had stinky jiner
in our face at some point in time, whether it's
you know, from Linda, if we don't know that you
ever go.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
To a strip club, Lindsay, and why I tell you
what sidetrack?
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Oh? Right, turn my bachelor party when I got married. Now,
one time, right went down to the local strip club
and everything was fine, and my buddy's like, I'll buy
you a lap dance. I'm like, that's fucking great. I
love it because that's what you're supposed to do. And
she gets up there and she starts dancing on me.
I'm like, this is great. And then she started talking
(06:15):
to me and she smelled like fucking garlic, like she
just got done eating at the goddamn Olive garden. And
then she puts that thing up in my face and
then it smells like fish. So now I've got this
really disgusting clam sauce that's just all over me. It's
fucking disgusting. It was the worst experience that I've ever
had at a newdi bar.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
That's it, that's bottom line.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Nonetheless, my worst one was going It was a bachelor
party as well, and a girl was with us, and
she went to the bathroom and came back and watching
some of our friends get dances and you know where
they take your head and shove it in your their
crotch or their butts, and her laughing. We were like,
what's so funny, and she's like, we're just talking about
their diarrhea.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Fu man, because it's a job that's exactly their people too, and.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
They have those days.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I've stopped to grab the taco bell them all way,
and you know, stuff happens.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
I think those are the days.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
I mean, if I were in that profession, those are
the days I'd be calling off.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Right. You just feel a little bubbly, and you're like.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
I want to I want to be fresh and clean
down there. If that's what I'm shoving someone's face down there.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
No way, I don't believe that. Not you.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I believe you when you say that, But I don't
think people in that industry think that way because they
go on.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Their period, right, you don't think about that.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Women don't typically feel fresh sexy on their period.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Yeah, oh.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Right, so now you're out seven.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
But customers that are really into that thing and look for.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
That everything, absolutely, that'll be fifteen dollars.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Okay, thanks, you send anywhere you want, make sure you
tip the when the bucket goes around.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Hey, quick question.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Any of the ladies on the period today or is
it like a sandwich board at the front, Like, oh god,
here's our blue plate, special red cinnamon. Mercedes, ROAs and
Ivory are riding the pony.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Gross. Gross, Gross.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
That's all I got to say about or or or
they wear a special necklace so we know.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
I like that, I like that bracelet or something of
that effect.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Do you want to dance? Oh god, no, right, the
bears are going to be angry.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
You see their string.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Just watch for the ones that are wearing.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
That's happened to me, That has happened to me. I
have two period at strip club stories. Both of them
involve our friend promo Brady Nice. We used to there
used to be a strip club here called the Ritz
Ritz Cabaret, and it was a fine It was a
fine was in an old like chee cheese or I
don't know what, something like that over there by the
Target on twenty first, and they were good radio spinders,
(09:08):
and we would go and do promotions there and remotes
and we would kind of sit to the back, and
of course Brady fucking knew everybody and we would sit
there and they would talk with us and hang out.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
They never asked he they wouldn't give us dance, and
they just hang out. It was fine.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
And so we were sitting there and one girl's like, oh,
I gotta go up on stage, you know whatever.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
And she goes to the back room, you.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Know, comes back to the front and her song comes
on whatever, some Motley Cruse song or tool or something,
and she's dancing and then she's on all fours and
Brady kind of tips his head to the side and
I happened to tip my head's side and I'm like, what.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
The fuck is that between her legs. He's like, I
think that's her string pull in here. Talk right, it
isn't a pinata.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
No.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
And another time we were the girl kind of the
same thing.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
She was dancing in all fours, wearing a white any bottom,
and the mother comes, the mother of the house comes
running out, pulls her off stage, and we all were like,
why did she Oh no, she said those weren't those
weren't Poka dot right, she.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Sat in some kool aid. Uh huh uh. Yeah. That's
terrible life, man, Yeah, it happens.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
It happens.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
You get your period when you don't want it, your
ship sometimes when you don't want it.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
What would be your weird niche at a strip club?
You'd like to go, I'll go first because I know
mine would be pregnant.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
Yeah, I saw that.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
It's a thing.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, you went to a porn I'm sorry,
a strip club with pregnancy.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Yeah no, not me being pregnant.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
You saw it.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
The dancer was pregnant, big time, like ready to pop,
full fledged.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
Oh yeah. This was at the strip club down on.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Had it turned and everything like you falla, wow, they.
Speaker 4 (10:57):
Have a strip club down there and there.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Was this feels like you're telling a recent story.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
No, it was probably it was at least ten years ago, Okay, and.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
That means the kid's ten. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
Yeah, she was ready to pop and she was up
there just doing her thing.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
That's not that bad. I don't think pregnant. I mean
it's a little weird.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I think there's teasers. Gentlemen's Club.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Does you have the one down there?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
And or Club sixty.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Nine, Giggy, the sixty nine Cattle Company, sixty nine Cattle Coup.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
They're all hepty chicks down here. He follows premiere Gentleman's Club.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Oh premier. I think if I had to pick an
obscure niche, I'm going with amputees and amputees missing arm,
missing leg, missing two legs, missing.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Two arms, got just the legs, no arm. You see
what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Kind of stumps me. But I thought I thought you
would have picked a midget.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
All.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
I love bidgets. Yeah, that's pantastic that that traveling circus
goes all over and sometimes Land's here and Tulsa. It's
been a while since I've seen midget trippers here and Tolds.
But the fact of it is that's more popular, I
think than amputees. And I think having an amputee get
up there it builds their confidence.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
For one, Listen, you're still sexy, even though it's like,
do I have to give you a full dollar? I
think so, it's only it's only fair because they're giving
you a dance. Even if they're up there for a dance.
If they're up there just hopping on one, I just
picked them up and put them on my lap. Like
that's that depends. I don't want to the chair. Oh no,
(12:53):
that'd be.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Fantastic because she comes walking out on her hands you know,
ass up in the air, no legs, you know, and
then just plops right down in your lap gyrates around
a little bit.
Speaker 5 (13:07):
The boat.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yeah yeah, something to that effect, you know.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Or or you know, she's an armless woman up on
the stage dancing around.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
A pole country song. She's an armless woman, seeing.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
How that would work out, I think would be great.
Or just a woman with you know, one leg and
two arms go up there hopping up on the stage. Dude,
I'm thinking that might be something there. I think that
might be something there.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
I'm surprising all the gaps of dating that you've had
to experience that has not been a box.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
You checked that happy tea midget. Yeah, midget is the
reason why.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
I got on the radio and I tried to Uh,
I tried, I tried, but uh it just wasn't going anywhere.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
So I was like, okay, bye, but thanks.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
For getting me in the radio.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Appreciate it. I've made out with them, right, I knew that.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yeah yeah yeah, and that's the same major the one
that got me in the radio got me more on common.
I oh everything I have right now to that tiny
little woman named Brandy.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Oh, it's gonna ad you do you still know her name? Yeah?
Does she ever populate your Facebook anymore? No?
Speaker 3 (14:16):
No, this is well before social media and Facebook or
anything like that. And uh, i'd.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Only we don't.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
I'd only known her for maybe a couple of months,
long enough to hang out a few times, find out
how does she Because she started going to the broadcast
in school and I was like, oh, because I was
trying to figure out what I'm gonna do with my life,
I was like.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Well, fuck, if she can do it, so can I.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Not like midgets are incapable of.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
But you see what I'm saying, right, she's got this,
you know, the willpower to go.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I didn't. I didn't know. I didn't know where itsiration. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Uh, when you kissed her, do you pick her up
and hold her like with both hands or did it
like do you hold her underneath the shoulders?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
I had to stoop down? Okay, underneath the shoulders? That's
too kid like.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
You know, it's all kid like, not necessarily not all,
I mean, not a last but what he was fucking small?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yeah, there's there's uh s x S and f s. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
I do know that she had to have blocks on
her her pedals on her van that she drove.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Okay, I think that's yeah. I do know that, so
I don't know exactly how tall.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
But she she was tiny, a short little thing whenever,
so I got to make out with the one.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
But I guess I wasn't waiting around sure.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
That she was a midget and not a dwarf.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Does what's the difference?
Speaker 4 (15:42):
I believe dwarfism is.
Speaker 5 (15:47):
I think that dwarfism means that your arms are like
the regular length, but your hands are bigger or smaller.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I you're saying it. I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I thought it was just a height thing. I thought
little people was anything under four to one.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
I'm gonna look it up because there isn't a real difference.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
It was just an umbrella term for me. She could
have been a dwarf for a midget or.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
What fuck ever. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
I just they've always been madjes to me the term
madges considered defensive.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Well yeah, no shit, no no no, no no no no
no no no, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Not fine, Okay, A midget a midget is a term
used for a proportionate dwarf.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
So I guess Lindsay was right on the right track.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Anyway, Okay, less than A dwarf is extremely short adult
who is less than fifty eight inches tall.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
For which is for.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
That's a one hundred and forty seven Okay, So this
says dwarf refers to specific specifically to individuals with dwarf ism,
which is a medical condition. Dwarfism is typically defined as
having an adult height a four to ten or short
her due to a genetic or medical condition. The most
common form of dwarfism is a chondroplasia, with over four
hundred different types.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Sure yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Little person is a broader and more inclusive, generally preferred
term used by many people with dwarfism. It emphasizes the
humanity and personhood of the individual rather than their condition.
Dwarf is more specific to a medical condition. A little
person is more of a broad term.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Got you what'd you find?
Speaker 5 (17:30):
I read that dwarf has a disproportion of body parts,
usually caused.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
By genetic Okay, and then some.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
Short person midget extremely short, less than fifty eight inches tall,
but normally proportioned.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
I saw her at a tool concert. I asked her
if she needed help watching the show see Shit? She
said sure.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
I popped her up on my shoulders and then we
walked out to her Vano made out while while we
wait for her friends to show up, and then we
went on a few days after that.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Yeah, fifty eight inches is four feet ten. Well, there
you go wherever she's at if she's listening.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
When you were talking about this chair, which is bizarre,
I think in terms of like all the sexual toys
that are available.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I think it's a really bizarre one.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
It feels like from the videos I watched of it,
it looked like suffocating the like the person underneath. I
don't know how that's a more pleasurable experience compared.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
To the other way to give oral sex.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Right, Well, I mean you can't talk to your delegates
and get orally serviced at the same time.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
You know that's fair and your traditional sam.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Sure, so I see more of a modern and also,
don't sleep on Etsy man. They had a ton available
for purchase, different styles, different makes, different accessories, and how many.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Of those do you have in your cart?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Now?
Speaker 5 (18:55):
No, they have a master series Queen Chair sex toy
on Amazon and the reviews are awesome.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Why don't you get one of those? Uh?
Speaker 3 (19:10):
You know those the ones that the stool that you know,
for like when you're you know, broke in or whatever
and you just kind of slide off of the bed
and then you shit and and then somebody asked to feel,
you know, empty it or whatever.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
It's not a badpan, but you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
You know, it's just an actual stool, you know, and
you just take the bucket off of that and.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Use it, and I bet you'd only cost you like
thirty bucks.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
There are some really crazy, wild extreme sex toys and
I'm like, really like when you were talking about this,
I thought it was the chair that has the is
it called a doxing chair where the dildo you rock
in the chair and as you rock in the chair,
the dildo slides.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
I've never heard. But okay, all right.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Good covering the Uh. It was in the movie uh
with Brad Pitt and George Clooney. George Clooney makes one.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Okay, I know what you're talking about now, Yeah, okay, okay,
but dad.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Dude, Like, hey, Dad's out in the garage building furniture. Yeah.
And here like here's a milking chair.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
God damn, here's a bench, yeah, or a Saint Andrew's cross,
a portable one.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Oh really? So it was like when you could take
the Oklahoma with you. I guess.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Then then there's this thing. This is just fifteen dollars
and it folds up, looks like a you know, butcher block.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Oh yeah, got your head place to put your head
in your arms? I kind of like stocks, kind of
like stocks. Okay, okay, yeah, sure, shit because I bet you. Okay,
So knees on the pad, head through the hole, hands
and the shackles, shackles.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Yeah yeah, so you can roll around. Yeah yeah. I
don't know why I want to see this in action,
but I do.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
I've seen beds that, like the bed frames, like the
footboards and stuff like that, and the headboards are stocks,
and I was like.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Okay, well that's interesting, that's fun. I could get down
on that. I gotta be honest.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
If I met a girl and she's like, do you
want to come back to my room and she pulled
she pulls this shit out, I'm.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Like, oh you're leaving on that one.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Hunh.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
I didn't say leave. I'm definitely gonna slow everything down.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Okay, I'm not gonna go hunt moose, Okay, right, If
I'm going hunting, I'm gonna start small and work my
way up.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Yeah, little rabbit.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yeah, I'm not gonna jump right into like the craziest thing.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
That feels like a lot.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
I'm for that. I am all for oh yeah, like
you being it, I don't know about me being in it.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
I think it's gotta go both ways. I think you
have to be willing to do both.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
I mean, I guess, I mean that's between me and
my partner, but I I would be down for, you know,
to have fun with that.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
Sure, like, okay, what's the safe let's go?
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I guess would you even discuss the safe word? Probably not?
Probably not. How would you know they're uncomfortable when they
say I'm uncomfortable? Yeah, I know.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Stop yeah, ow right, don't stop, don't stop?
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Yeah, no disrespect here, But you don't feel like the
guy during second when they say stop. Oh no no, no, no, no,
you don't mean that they don't believe them.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Oh yeah, well yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
If they say stop, that usually will ruin everything. I
think right there, I think it is. It's it's in inflection.
If you're having sense with your partner and they're like, stop.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
I don't even know, like you don't you don't listen
to it.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
If there's like some sort of grunt before maybe right,
But if they're like crying tears, stop obviously is a
good like I think this means.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
I should stop.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Yeah, that's usually I guess a good indicator. And as
to that point, then I would probably stop.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
Probably.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Here's the thing, man, anytime you hear the word stop,
when it comes with that, you should at least stop
for a second and ask, hey, is everything all right?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
What's what's going on here? No, don't that's just I
feel like something I've heard. Maybe, so I said, don't stop.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Well, you need to enunciate the don't part communicate clearly. Well,
I'm taking you to the third dimension, right, man, girl, girl,
I don't know if Lindsay knows that video.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Do you know that video?
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Like I've played the clip on the show a couple
of times.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yeah, it's a fantastic piece of audio. Oh, it's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Is he like death or something like that?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (23:48):
And she she he's railing this girl, and she's like, says,
talk dirty to me or something like that. She tries
to prompt him to talk dirty, but he's deaf, so
he finally talks and he has.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
A cliche deaf person, stereotypical you know, myal like he
can't talk.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, and he when you see the video on him,
do it eat.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Oh it's hilarious, some sort of Christopher Reeve thing.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
AnyWho.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
So, yeah, I can't talk about feces that trouble, but
this we're good. Oh goddamn day.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Well this is the uncensored podcast.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
We can get away with you.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
You probably could talk dookie too, but.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
You know, I'm good. Yeah, yeah, sex cheers is way
cooler than you know, feces.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah, at one point in my life I did have
a sex swing, and uh, it was more trouble to
put up than any he.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Could put the door frame.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
It came with like a self like a frame, like
a frame thing, like an a frame sort of thing.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah, okay, but then it was like you gotta so
like put it together, like hey, it takes.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
A few minutes, right, and by then you gotta get
the Allen wrench and tighten the things down, and then
you gotta get the thing out and then where do
you put it because it's fucking you know, takes up
because it's trying to hold weight. And then and then
You're like, do you put it up like before we go,
and then do you put it over the bed?
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Like there's just not Who has a fucking tin by
tin space? Right, exactly got.
Speaker 4 (25:25):
To have a sex room if you're gonna have all
that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
I had friends that had theirs hanging up in the
living room again. Door frame, you know, like those little
baby jumper things.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
One to go on the back of the door. I've
seen those times of sex. Sweet Yeah, this.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Was clamped up on the on the door, on the
door frame, you know, just hanging on there. And and
I was like, well, that's it's nice to know that
this is what you use your kitchen. Good for you, right.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
I think you bring up a fair point because some
people don't understand how door latches work, and they the
little leverage thing that goes on the back of the
door to kind of like keep it from so you
can use it as a wedge, pulls, puts torque, but
it also kind of like torks the door a little bit,
so the latch can like separate from the hold and
(26:14):
like ruin door.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Uh yeah, you could also fall with that too.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
We're worried about ruining the door. I mean but whatever.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
For sure, Yeah, if you were gonna do it, you'd
want to do it on like an entrance door with
a dead bold on.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
You see what I'm saying, Like it gets on all
these goudamn plan anything.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
You're like, this is ain't fucking yeah, fifty shades of
gray at all?
Speaker 2 (26:36):
No.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
No, And so I had that, and then I met
my wife, my current wife, and I was like, I
gotta get rid of this.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
That's gonna have too many fucking questions. Oh yeah, oh yeah,
there's always that. You know, it wasn't me in that swing.
So of course we never used it, right, So it's like,
you know.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
You can't, you can't, you can't, you can't do that. Yeah,
it's like keeping nudes of your wreck is around or whatever.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
My biggest problem now is like I'll remember trips or
vacations and she'll go, that wasn't me.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
I was like, oh fuck, really, I'm like, are you sure?
I'm sure must have been your other girlfriend. She was
like that's your other wife and I was like, ah,
she's dead.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Yeah, she's like reminiscent about it. I'm like, no, fuck, no,
it's just a memory. I didn't say like remember when
we had fun fucking in this place.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
That's what I said.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
I said, you've been there. No, I've never been there.
That was your other Ah? You sure I would remember that.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
I don't know. I've had that conversation over a burrito before.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Well, yeah, last time we were here, you you got
the burrito. Nope, wasn't me. Must have been your other girlfriend. No,
I swear to god you had Nope.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Fuck'll shut up. I think it's not about shutting up
at that when it's like trying to be like I.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Wouldn't do that.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I wouldn't intentionally bring up a memory that didn't include
your exactly.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I didn't start.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
I'm talking outside of this show. Bears no interest to
me anymore. I barely want to talk on this show.
To keep your mouth shut, you're a lot safer that way.
But silence doesn't win award. So speaking of silence, and
we have reached the end, thank god, because I wasn't
(28:36):
sure what the next topic.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Was going to be. Gotelling here.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Uh you guys have a fantastic week and we'll talk
to you soon.
Speaker 5 (28:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Bye bye
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