February 24, 2025 • 15 mins
Parenting in the first year can be a mix of joy, exhaustion, and confusion—but it doesn’t have to feel overwhelming! Vered Benhorin is a licensed creative arts therapist, music therapist, psychotherapist, and mom of three. Her book is WHAT DO I DO WITH MY BABY ALL DAY?!: Simple Ways to Have the Best First Year Together.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Get Connected with Nina del Rio, a weekly
conversation about fitness, health and happenings in our community on
one oh six point seven light FM.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Welcome to get Connected. Parenting in the first year can
be joyful, also exhausting and confusing, but it does not
have to be overwhelming. Research shows the parents who create
a strong bond with their baby are doing the most
important thing for their babies well being. But how do
you do that? Our guest is Vered ben Horn, a
licensed creative arts therapist, music therapist, psychotherapist and mom of three.
(00:35):
Her book is What Do I Do with My Baby
All Day? Simple Ways to have the best First Year Together.
Vered ben Horn, thank you for being on the show.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Vered ben Horn is also the creator of Baby in
Tune with classes in the New York and New Jersey
area and remote classes. So you had your first child.
What was the biggest challenge for you?
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Well, a lot.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
At Those who listening with babies know that having a
baby is challenging, just across the board.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
It's all hard.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
You know, it's hard from the second you bring them home.
I had trouble with nursing, I had, you know, and
it wasn't sleeping.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
You're kind of in survival mode. You're frustrated.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
You're also isolated from friends and families because.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
You're in this kind of cocoon.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
But beyond that, I think I imagined that it would
be this sort of idyllic connection, like my baby and
I would be smiling together and we would be loving.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
And it wasn't like that either.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
It was hard, and I think because of the technical stuff,
because of all the things you have to figure out,
you're not focusing on the emotional stuff. For me, at least,
it became like a secondary goal. I mean, sure I
loved my baby and everything, but it wasn't my main priority.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
And what I've realized through this work is.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
And what I try to impress upon parents that I
work with, is that that is our most important goal.
It's less important how we feed, how we sleep. All
those things, what kind of car, see, what kind of bottle,
all those things are way less important than developing and
fostering our connection.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
With our baby.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
And developing and fostering a connection. There's maybe not one
way to do it, but there are ways to strengthen
that muscle. That is what this book is about to
be more sensitive to them.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Exactly and to kind of quell the fears of parents
listening right.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Now, you're doing it all the time. You're doing it
without even thinking about it.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Those little you know, you have little micro moments of
connection all the time. But like you're saying, and I
write in the book, there's a way for us to
kind of go to a connection, Jim and strengthen the muscle,
And I call that creating bubble moments. So it's having
these very connected moments with your baby that where you
learn their personality, you develop your language of play together,
(02:57):
and you really learn about each other and grow together.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
We'll get into some of those, but I think one
of the gifts that comes from being present and having
that connection is you talk about the gift of reading
cues from your baby. Can you talk about that particular
superpower in action?
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Yeah, there are some obvious cues when our baby is crying,
obviously they're not happy.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
When they're smiling, obviously they're happy. But one of the.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Things I work on with the parents of my class
is to figure out the subtle cues.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Because if we can figure out the how our.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Baby is subtly showing us that they're getting overstimulated, that
they're getting overtired, then they're not going to end up
having a meltdown. And once they have a meltdown start crying,
they're harder to put to sleep, they don't stay asleep
for as long. So if we can find, you know,
really learn our baby's subtle cues. And for each baby
that's different, but there are also some universal cues.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Our guest is vered ben Horn. She's a licensed creative
arts therapist, a music therapist, psychotherapist, and mom of three.
She's the creator a Baby in Tune, a program helping
parents connect to their children and get more sleep, have
more fun, and enrich their baby. You can find out
more about that at baby intune dot com. You're listening
to get connected on one six point seven light FM.
(04:12):
We're talking about her new book, What Do I Do
with My Baby All Day? Simple Ways to have the
best first year together. Parent reactions? How powerful are they
to your baby? How does your baby read social cues?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Right?
Speaker 4 (04:29):
So, just like we're learning our baby's subtle cues, your
baby is looking at you all the time.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
They're learning your reactions. They're watching you so closely.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
For instance, if you can come up to a baby
in a supermarket and the baby's in the stroller, they're
very quickly going to glance over at their parents, so
quickly you might not even see it. And in that glance,
they're looking at their parent, and they're seeing, is.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
My parent anxious about this? Do they feel okay about this? Strange?
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Do they have like an eyebrow twitch that's showing some
kind of anxiety. So your baby is learning your cues
just as as much as we're learning theirs. And what
that means is that when we're developing the connection, we
have to be aware of our own state. Attachment theory
teaches us that so much of the connection depends on
(05:21):
the parent's inner state. So it's not just being aware
of how we're conveying our voice, our expressions, our gestures
to our baby, but also taking care of our own
inner state, our emotions getting important.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Some of that is about being present, being aware of
what you're you're giving off to anyone at any given time.
Parents have a guilt, you know, when you forget about
that for a minute, you get angry and your child
sees or whatever. Can you talk about shredding that guilt.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Yeah, that's going to happen.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
So in my classes with parents and babies, they're often
complaining about these moments when they're too tired and they
were angry at their baby. I mean with younger babies,
you're not as much losing it, and it's not like
a toddler yet where they're actually you know, pressing on
your buttons. I think the parents realize they're just being
a baby, but that doesn't mean we don't feel angry
(06:14):
and resentful and we don't have a shorter temper. And
so it's so much of it as getting the support
that we need so that we can come to our
baby and be a little calmer. But you know, coregulation
is a good example of our baby, us starting to
soothe our baby a little, then our baby feeling calmer
(06:35):
and soothing us back, and then us soothing the baby.
It's like a feedback loop so that it really is
both of us soothing each other. It's such a dynamic
relationship the parent and the baby or the caregiver.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
And the baby.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Why are movement and music so soothing or can be
so soothing to a baby?
Speaker 4 (06:54):
Yeah, babies are clued into music from day one, even
from you know, pregnancy, they're listening to your heartbeat. They're
sleeping during the day because they're soothed by the rocking,
and then they're up at night. And once they're born,
they're still clued into rhythm. They want to be in
(07:16):
sync with you rhythmically. They love the the balancing and
like the regular beat that you're doing as you're balancing them,
and even afterwards, rhythm will be very influential for them
to develop their language. So that's with rhythm, but it's
not just that it's melody. They're also hugely tuned into melody,
(07:38):
which is why we kind of speak to our babies
in what's called parentees like the high baby.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
You know, even if we promised ourselves we.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Would never speak that way, we do because our babies
really do respond to it. There are a lot of
studies showing that it helps develop communication with your baby,
but especially music puts both of those elements together.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
But it's also repetitive and that helps your baby learned.
So now you have songs that.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Are repeating and can help them understand let's say, words
or their routine during the day, like a preschool teacher
who sings the clean up song and all the kids
know exactly what's happening. So that's some of the ways
that music and rhythm come into play.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Well, you talked a little bit about voice too. Can
you talk about maybe ways in practice too that your
own singing, even if you can't don't think you can sing,
your own singing and speaking voice, how you can use
that to connect with your child.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Yeah, I think our voice is one of those areas
parents don't always think about so much. We think about
soothing with our body, we think about holding our babies,
and we don't always consider our voice. But our voice
can be considered in my mind as another way to
hold your baby.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
You don't just have your arms, you have your voice.
And if it's used correctly with a calm sense.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
You know, we talk in our classes, how can we
have it come from underneath with a bigger breath, maybe
making a sound more resonant, relaxing your jaw, all the
things so that your voice comes out a little more calm.
Then it will have a huge effect on your baby's soothing.
And not only that, you'll be able to sue them
when they're in the backseat of the car or when
(09:23):
they're you know, in the bouncy seat and you're giving
your toddler bath and you can't pick up the baby, now.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
You still can use your voice.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Or when you're trying to teach your baby to sleep
in their crib and you don't want to hold them anymore,
but you want to walk away still holding them, that's
when you use your voice.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
I'm going to jump ahead in the book a little
bit since we're talking about voice too. Language. What is
mirroring your baby's babbling or vocalizations and why is that
important as they develop language.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Yeah, so there are a lot of studies showing that
when we mirror our baby's vocalizations, it helps them develop language.
And I think parents, many parents intuitively do a version
of this, like if the baby goes.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Ah, the parents will go ai. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
You know in the class, when we talk about that
as a bubble moment, we're taking out all of our language.
So for the rest of the day, you're narrating, you're talking,
you're you're you know, you're speaking normally to your baby,
But in this specific exercise or bubble moment, you're just
mirroring your baby's vocalizations as precisely as you can, which
(10:29):
is not easy because our babies can make sounds from
all different languages. When they're born, they're able to make
a huge variety of sounds. What happens is that as
the ear goes, ears go on, we are there's a
process of pruning in our brain, and that means that
we can focus on making the sounds from English or
from whatever language we speak.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
But our babies are able to make a huge array
of sounds.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
So when we're mirroring our babies, we're going to try
to really mirror.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Their exact sound.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
And then the important part is to leave space and
let your baby respond. You know, in adult conversation where
you're still going blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah,
not leaving space in between. But with our babies, they
need that space. So we're quiet and we're letting our
baby respond.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
So there's a bit of a conversation there where you're
waiting for the child to lead. Absolutely, you talk about
also with play about letting the children lead to some degree.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Yeah, yes, yes, So that bubble moment is actually one
of my favorites. I call it the explorer state, where you're.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Really I think the parents have this.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
Concept of needing to entertain their baby, or sort of
you turn into like a cruise ship direct activity director.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
You're moving your baby from.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
This station to that station to that station, trying to
keep them active, and actually your baby doesn't need that much.
They're often just happy exploring and touching things and looking around,
and especially happy if you're sitting there with them. But
that doesn't mean that we need to manipulate a toy for.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Them or show them things.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
You know, we think of ourselves as like the professor
in the room, but actually they know exactly how to
do the research, and so we're just like their research assistant.
We're just creating the space for them. But how can
we be with them in their explorations? So they're leading
the play and we're just going to follow with them.
(12:31):
We're going to really imagine, like if they're crinkling a leaf,
we're imagining how does that feel to crinkle that leaf,
If they are touching water, if they're touching a toy
and moving something around, we're actually with them feeling that
and just so present with them and their exploration, and
it actually makes them able to explore for a longer period.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Of time because you've had this practice in this work
for so long. I wonder if you have just in
our last senator, so some thoughts about how to practice
this or the advantages for parents with multiples. We have
a family member that has four under two, so they
have a lot of action going on.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Yes, so first of all, that is not easy.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
And the parents who come with multiples to my classes,
in a way, they get even more out of it
because they have this time carved out that is just
with the little baby, whereas when you're home those with multiples, No,
it's very hard to focus on the younger baby because
the older ones know how to get your attention and
the baby is seemingly easier. But so I would say
(13:39):
a few things. First of all, to try to take
your baby to classes or to something where where you're
giving yourself time to just focus on the baby.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
The second thing is to make dates, even the.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
Shortest dates with your older one, so that they're not
having this constant need for a time from you. You've
given them twenty minutes of just walking out the door
and coming back, and you've you've spent some time with
your toddler, and when you're at home with them, you
can also kind of show them how to have a
bubble moment, So in a way, you're sort of delegating
(14:17):
the bubble moment. You're having it with your baby, but
you're also showing your toddler how to do it so
that they can have that joyful connection too.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Our guest is Vered ben Horn. Her book is What
Do I Do with My Baby All Day? Simple Ways
to have the best first year together. Thank you for
being on to Get Connected.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
This has been Get Connected with Nina del Rio on
one oh six point seven light Fm. The views and
opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the views
of the station. If you missed any part of our
show or want to share it, visit our website for
downloads and podcasts at one oh six to seven lightfm
dot com. Thanks for listening.
Welcome to Get Connected with Nina del Rio, a weekly
conversation about fitness, health and happenings in our community on
one oh six point seven light FM.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Welcome to get Connected. Parenting in the first year can
be joyful, also exhausting and confusing, but it does not
have to be overwhelming. Research shows the parents who create
a strong bond with their baby are doing the most
important thing for their babies well being. But how do
you do that? Our guest is Vered ben Horn, a
licensed creative arts therapist, music therapist, psychotherapist and mom of three.
(00:35):
Her book is What Do I Do with My Baby
All Day? Simple Ways to have the best First Year Together.
Vered ben Horn, thank you for being on the show.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Vered ben Horn is also the creator of Baby in
Tune with classes in the New York and New Jersey
area and remote classes. So you had your first child.
What was the biggest challenge for you?
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Well, a lot.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
At Those who listening with babies know that having a
baby is challenging, just across the board.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
It's all hard.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
You know, it's hard from the second you bring them home.
I had trouble with nursing, I had, you know, and
it wasn't sleeping.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
You're kind of in survival mode. You're frustrated.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
You're also isolated from friends and families because.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
You're in this kind of cocoon.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
But beyond that, I think I imagined that it would
be this sort of idyllic connection, like my baby and
I would be smiling together and we would be loving.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
And it wasn't like that either.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
It was hard, and I think because of the technical stuff,
because of all the things you have to figure out,
you're not focusing on the emotional stuff. For me, at least,
it became like a secondary goal. I mean, sure I
loved my baby and everything, but it wasn't my main priority.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
And what I've realized through this work is.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
And what I try to impress upon parents that I
work with, is that that is our most important goal.
It's less important how we feed, how we sleep. All
those things, what kind of car, see, what kind of bottle,
all those things are way less important than developing and
fostering our connection.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
With our baby.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
And developing and fostering a connection. There's maybe not one
way to do it, but there are ways to strengthen
that muscle. That is what this book is about to
be more sensitive to them.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Exactly and to kind of quell the fears of parents
listening right.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Now, you're doing it all the time. You're doing it
without even thinking about it.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Those little you know, you have little micro moments of
connection all the time. But like you're saying, and I
write in the book, there's a way for us to
kind of go to a connection, Jim and strengthen the muscle,
And I call that creating bubble moments. So it's having
these very connected moments with your baby that where you
learn their personality, you develop your language of play together,
(02:57):
and you really learn about each other and grow together.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
We'll get into some of those, but I think one
of the gifts that comes from being present and having
that connection is you talk about the gift of reading
cues from your baby. Can you talk about that particular
superpower in action?
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Yeah, there are some obvious cues when our baby is crying,
obviously they're not happy.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
When they're smiling, obviously they're happy. But one of the.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
Things I work on with the parents of my class
is to figure out the subtle cues.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Because if we can figure out the how our.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Baby is subtly showing us that they're getting overstimulated, that
they're getting overtired, then they're not going to end up
having a meltdown. And once they have a meltdown start crying,
they're harder to put to sleep, they don't stay asleep
for as long. So if we can find, you know,
really learn our baby's subtle cues. And for each baby
that's different, but there are also some universal cues.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Our guest is vered ben Horn. She's a licensed creative
arts therapist, a music therapist, psychotherapist, and mom of three.
She's the creator a Baby in Tune, a program helping
parents connect to their children and get more sleep, have
more fun, and enrich their baby. You can find out
more about that at baby intune dot com. You're listening
to get connected on one six point seven light FM.
(04:12):
We're talking about her new book, What Do I Do
with My Baby All Day? Simple Ways to have the
best first year together. Parent reactions? How powerful are they
to your baby? How does your baby read social cues?
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Right?
Speaker 4 (04:29):
So, just like we're learning our baby's subtle cues, your
baby is looking at you all the time.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
They're learning your reactions. They're watching you so closely.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
For instance, if you can come up to a baby
in a supermarket and the baby's in the stroller, they're
very quickly going to glance over at their parents, so
quickly you might not even see it. And in that glance,
they're looking at their parent, and they're seeing, is.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
My parent anxious about this? Do they feel okay about this? Strange?
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Do they have like an eyebrow twitch that's showing some
kind of anxiety. So your baby is learning your cues
just as as much as we're learning theirs. And what
that means is that when we're developing the connection, we
have to be aware of our own state. Attachment theory
teaches us that so much of the connection depends on
(05:21):
the parent's inner state. So it's not just being aware
of how we're conveying our voice, our expressions, our gestures
to our baby, but also taking care of our own
inner state, our emotions getting important.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Some of that is about being present, being aware of
what you're you're giving off to anyone at any given time.
Parents have a guilt, you know, when you forget about
that for a minute, you get angry and your child
sees or whatever. Can you talk about shredding that guilt.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Yeah, that's going to happen.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
So in my classes with parents and babies, they're often
complaining about these moments when they're too tired and they
were angry at their baby. I mean with younger babies,
you're not as much losing it, and it's not like
a toddler yet where they're actually you know, pressing on
your buttons. I think the parents realize they're just being
a baby, but that doesn't mean we don't feel angry
(06:14):
and resentful and we don't have a shorter temper. And
so it's so much of it as getting the support
that we need so that we can come to our
baby and be a little calmer. But you know, coregulation
is a good example of our baby, us starting to
soothe our baby a little, then our baby feeling calmer
(06:35):
and soothing us back, and then us soothing the baby.
It's like a feedback loop so that it really is
both of us soothing each other. It's such a dynamic
relationship the parent and the baby or the caregiver.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
And the baby.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Why are movement and music so soothing or can be
so soothing to a baby?
Speaker 4 (06:54):
Yeah, babies are clued into music from day one, even
from you know, pregnancy, they're listening to your heartbeat. They're
sleeping during the day because they're soothed by the rocking,
and then they're up at night. And once they're born,
they're still clued into rhythm. They want to be in
(07:16):
sync with you rhythmically. They love the the balancing and
like the regular beat that you're doing as you're balancing them,
and even afterwards, rhythm will be very influential for them
to develop their language. So that's with rhythm, but it's
not just that it's melody. They're also hugely tuned into melody,
(07:38):
which is why we kind of speak to our babies
in what's called parentees like the high baby.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
You know, even if we promised ourselves we.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Would never speak that way, we do because our babies
really do respond to it. There are a lot of
studies showing that it helps develop communication with your baby,
but especially music puts both of those elements together.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
But it's also repetitive and that helps your baby learned.
So now you have songs that.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Are repeating and can help them understand let's say, words
or their routine during the day, like a preschool teacher
who sings the clean up song and all the kids
know exactly what's happening. So that's some of the ways
that music and rhythm come into play.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Well, you talked a little bit about voice too. Can
you talk about maybe ways in practice too that your
own singing, even if you can't don't think you can sing,
your own singing and speaking voice, how you can use
that to connect with your child.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Yeah, I think our voice is one of those areas
parents don't always think about so much. We think about
soothing with our body, we think about holding our babies,
and we don't always consider our voice. But our voice
can be considered in my mind as another way to
hold your baby.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
You don't just have your arms, you have your voice.
And if it's used correctly with a calm sense.
Speaker 4 (09:00):
You know, we talk in our classes, how can we
have it come from underneath with a bigger breath, maybe
making a sound more resonant, relaxing your jaw, all the
things so that your voice comes out a little more calm.
Then it will have a huge effect on your baby's soothing.
And not only that, you'll be able to sue them
when they're in the backseat of the car or when
(09:23):
they're you know, in the bouncy seat and you're giving
your toddler bath and you can't pick up the baby, now.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
You still can use your voice.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Or when you're trying to teach your baby to sleep
in their crib and you don't want to hold them anymore,
but you want to walk away still holding them, that's
when you use your voice.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
I'm going to jump ahead in the book a little
bit since we're talking about voice too. Language. What is
mirroring your baby's babbling or vocalizations and why is that
important as they develop language.
Speaker 4 (09:50):
Yeah, so there are a lot of studies showing that
when we mirror our baby's vocalizations, it helps them develop language.
And I think parents, many parents intuitively do a version
of this, like if the baby goes.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Ah, the parents will go ai. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:06):
You know in the class, when we talk about that
as a bubble moment, we're taking out all of our language.
So for the rest of the day, you're narrating, you're talking,
you're you're you know, you're speaking normally to your baby,
But in this specific exercise or bubble moment, you're just
mirroring your baby's vocalizations as precisely as you can, which
(10:29):
is not easy because our babies can make sounds from
all different languages. When they're born, they're able to make
a huge variety of sounds. What happens is that as
the ear goes, ears go on, we are there's a
process of pruning in our brain, and that means that
we can focus on making the sounds from English or
from whatever language we speak.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
But our babies are able to make a huge array
of sounds.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
So when we're mirroring our babies, we're going to try
to really mirror.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
Their exact sound.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
And then the important part is to leave space and
let your baby respond. You know, in adult conversation where
you're still going blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah,
not leaving space in between. But with our babies, they
need that space. So we're quiet and we're letting our
baby respond.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
So there's a bit of a conversation there where you're
waiting for the child to lead. Absolutely, you talk about
also with play about letting the children lead to some degree.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Yeah, yes, yes, So that bubble moment is actually one
of my favorites. I call it the explorer state, where you're.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Really I think the parents have this.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
Concept of needing to entertain their baby, or sort of
you turn into like a cruise ship direct activity director.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
You're moving your baby from.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
This station to that station to that station, trying to
keep them active, and actually your baby doesn't need that much.
They're often just happy exploring and touching things and looking around,
and especially happy if you're sitting there with them. But
that doesn't mean that we need to manipulate a toy for.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Them or show them things.
Speaker 4 (12:10):
You know, we think of ourselves as like the professor
in the room, but actually they know exactly how to
do the research, and so we're just like their research assistant.
We're just creating the space for them. But how can
we be with them in their explorations? So they're leading
the play and we're just going to follow with them.
(12:31):
We're going to really imagine, like if they're crinkling a leaf,
we're imagining how does that feel to crinkle that leaf,
If they are touching water, if they're touching a toy
and moving something around, we're actually with them feeling that
and just so present with them and their exploration, and
it actually makes them able to explore for a longer period.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Of time because you've had this practice in this work
for so long. I wonder if you have just in
our last senator, so some thoughts about how to practice
this or the advantages for parents with multiples. We have
a family member that has four under two, so they
have a lot of action going on.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Yes, so first of all, that is not easy.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
And the parents who come with multiples to my classes,
in a way, they get even more out of it
because they have this time carved out that is just
with the little baby, whereas when you're home those with multiples, No,
it's very hard to focus on the younger baby because
the older ones know how to get your attention and
the baby is seemingly easier. But so I would say
(13:39):
a few things. First of all, to try to take
your baby to classes or to something where where you're
giving yourself time to just focus on the baby.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
The second thing is to make dates, even the.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
Shortest dates with your older one, so that they're not
having this constant need for a time from you. You've
given them twenty minutes of just walking out the door
and coming back, and you've you've spent some time with
your toddler, and when you're at home with them, you
can also kind of show them how to have a
bubble moment, So in a way, you're sort of delegating
(14:17):
the bubble moment. You're having it with your baby, but
you're also showing your toddler how to do it so
that they can have that joyful connection too.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Our guest is Vered ben Horn. Her book is What
Do I Do with My Baby All Day? Simple Ways
to have the best first year together. Thank you for
being on to Get Connected.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
This has been Get Connected with Nina del Rio on
one oh six point seven light Fm. The views and
opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the views
of the station. If you missed any part of our
show or want to share it, visit our website for
downloads and podcasts at one oh six to seven lightfm
dot com. Thanks for listening.
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