January 1, 2026 • 32 mins
From the renaming of the Gulf to the sudden shutdown of 24 Texas Dairy Queens, this episode rolls through the year's weirdest headlines—plus iconic news bloopers, a WNBA courtside fiasco, and the stories only Michael can tell the way Michael tells them.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's that time time, time, time, luck and loadlo. So
Michael darry Show is on the air.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
We got all the spring breakers in South Bodery here
no suns, it's all pretty and the Corpus Christie May
Lord O'Connor, mad Acorda.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
And Jamaica and beach. Sure that water may be in
brown mud. It feels good on my beam.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
Galston, Well, Galston has a lot of history. And those
people come from Houstone for the ocean therapy. Welcome to them,
Go fo America. Welcome to the land of the free.
(00:56):
Welcome to them, Go of America. We're the son is.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Hide and the people long breath, grabbing and casting in
the cage and river.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
They say that Holly Beach is the mud, but paradise
and gaiters are up.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
In the swampsa chapelize.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Those cage ins are the toughest folk.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
They you leave me if you don't matter. Hurricane good
news again U.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Sleeping, letting through those beets and have the drain down
and newing. Welcome to them, Go bull Amergo. Welcome to
the land of the breed. Welcome to them, Go boot America,
(01:52):
where son is hide and the people long break the
little navy.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Ships in goes forty. See what I'm saying, Biloxi. Elvis
lived in the basket Coola when he.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
Was just a kids.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
That water turns brown and go shore and the orange beach.
The blue angels come from pensyl Coola. But shall miss them.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
If you play with the white beaches up there standing
all the way to keep sand blast where people and
golden charge of sol.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
In liting man. Now Dampa has a football.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
When the bridges and the base or Mina's ass spring
train and wear the boards of the ball play.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Welcome to them, gol boob America. Welcome to the man
of the breeze. Welcome to them gold Boot America. But
that's son and side and the people arm free. You
(02:59):
can call it what you want to. We don't have
to agree.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Now look at all that waters. All I want to
do is see.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Welcome to them, Golf of America, Welcome to the end
of three. Welcome to them, Golf of America with that
time side, and the people.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
From Maica with that flag still stands in up people Lord.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Free, our very own Joshua.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
President Trump's press team has forbidden the Associated Press from
coming to the Daily presser because of their refusal to
write the Gulf of America. What's interesting is the number
of press outlets who are pushing back on the renaming
(04:21):
of things. Oh no, you can't rename a military base.
You can't rename the golf You can't do that because
it's always been this other thing.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
What about the Redskins.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
You jumped on that nomenclature change like you were waiting
for it forever. What about the fact that we're changing
the military basis back to the name that they were,
and you jumped on it. What Trump is turning on
its head is guess what you don't need. They don't
(04:57):
have some right to sit at the press conference. You're
giving them what they desperately need, oxygen. You tell them no,
and you own them. Nobody ever understood that.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Nobody realized that he's now bringing in new media. And
why wouldn't you? Why would you keep letting them have
a power that you are fueling. I love it.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
K x A n in Austin reports twenty four Texas
Dairy Queen restaurants to close, items up for auction, with
twenty four Dairy Queen location set to close around Texas well.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Why you figure that is, I mean, I got so
into the auction. Well, hold on, I'd like to get
your thoughts on that.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
People can now purchase a variety of restaurant items and
equipment as part of an ongoing auction. The complete contents
of various Dairy Queen restaurants will be auctioned on localauctions
dot Com until Thursday afternoon. Buyers will be responsible for
disassembling all purchased items. Multiple quote Multiple Dairy Queen locations
(06:09):
are closing their doors and must liquidate the assets. Bid
on a large variety of restaurant assets and related items
that need to be removed from the location, the auction
website said. A representative from Dairy Queen confirmed that twenty
five locations have closed, but only twenty four of those
will be available for auction. All twenty five restaurants are
owned by a single franchise owner. The franchise owner continues
(06:31):
to own and operate other DQ restaurants in Texas.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
The representative said it.
Speaker 5 (06:36):
Was this franchise owner's decision to participate in an online
auction for twenty four of the twenty five locations.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
These closures are.
Speaker 5 (06:44):
An isolated event and we refrain from publicly sharing contract terms. Oh,
that makes it sound like he's a squirrel. There's one
in Rusk, Carthage, Longview, die Ball, Waskom.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
I don't know that Ascombe. I don't know whatever I
say is going to be wrong.
Speaker 5 (07:04):
I'm kind of curious what it is nacaoaches uh in
the that's in East Texas. There's four in the Amarillo
area in Panhandle in Canadian in Fritch and Herford. In
the Austin area, there's one in Flugerville on Pecan Street.
In the Beaumont area, there's one in Sour Lake and
(07:25):
one in Buna of the Buna Cougars formerly of Anthony
byrt No. He was Newton, never mind uh DFW area,
one in North Richland Hills and in Houston.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
There's one in Dayton on ninety one in Huntsville in.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
On forty five South, one on East Lake Houston Parkway
in Huffman where the where the superintendent is out of control.
Remind me to talk about Benny Swallow. This guy is
absolutely positively out of control. There's one in tom All
on twenty nine twenty and there's one in Cleveland on
(08:03):
Washington Avenue. Two in Love one on Idaloo and one
on olding and three in wake Up?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
What would you like to buy from a dairy queen?
Speaker 5 (08:13):
Ramon, No, it's not a blizzard you Jack, asked my
brother in law on the Wall America.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Michael Berry.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
You see I turned upside down, man. I tell you
not only a fan favorite, but a club owner's favorite.
Those boys, they showed up in a good mood, happy
to be there. You might not think that's a big deal.
(08:44):
A lot of bands show up grumpy, mad, furious, and
they walk in the door with a lot of drama already.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Oh yeah, I ain't king to drink. It's ridiculous. Traffic
was horror.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
Not these boys showed up early, happy to sit down
and talk to you, happy to be there. What does
it look like tonight? And if you don't know, it's okay?
But you want us to greet fans before after both?
How many folks you want us to greet?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Anything? In particularly you want us to announce from the stage?
Are you kidding me? Nobody does this?
Speaker 5 (09:21):
Guys, you just be you, You're awesome and they stand
up there and they don't do the what was the
band Smashing Pumpkins deal? Where your twenty songs in before
they play a song that anybody knows.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
We got a new album out.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
I know the stuff you like goes back to seventy
six and it's mostly late seventies and into the eighties.
But we got a new album we're trying to push
in the next fifteen of our sixteen song set is
going to be songs you never heard of. So you
came to see the Bellamy Brothers, but actually you're gonna
just hear this band whose songs you never heard of
(10:09):
when you're here with your girl to sing along the
songs you knew well. They are just wonderful. I love
and adore them. They're fantastic. They're fantastic human beings. Fantastic
human beings. So since we're on the subject of bloopers,
our team put together, in short order their favorite bloopers,
(10:32):
and our collective favorite is not technically a blooper, which
is something going wrong on set. It was a prank
called in by a guy who lost his job, but
let me say I think it was well worth it.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
The credit where.
Speaker 5 (10:49):
It's due goes to KTVU in San Francisco.
Speaker 6 (10:55):
We have new information now also on the plane crash.
KTV has just learned the names of the four pilots
who are on board the flight. They are Captain some Ting,
Wong we Too Low, Hole Fuk and Bang ding ao in.
The NTSB has confirmed these are the names of the
pilots on board fly To fourteen when it crashed. We
(11:17):
are working to determine exactly what roles each of them
played during the landing on Saturday.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
I could hear that one hundred times because each time
I have a new appreciation for one or the other
of the names.
Speaker 6 (11:29):
We have new information now also on the plane crash.
KTVs just learned the names of the four pilots who
are on board the flight. They are Captain some Ting,
Wong we Too Low, Hole Fuk, and Bang ding Ao in.
The NTSB has confirmed these are the names of the
pilots on board fly To fourteen when it crashed. We
(11:51):
are working to determine exactly what roles each of them
played during the landing on Saturday.
Speaker 5 (11:56):
Can't you imagine how the appreciated went the anchor, Hey, hey, hey, Barry,
that's the that's the news. Director Barry, Oh, Bobby marymone
wants to do director be Bobby okay, Bobby hey uh
man or woman man. Okay, Bobby hold on, did you
(12:17):
did you read through this? Did you read through this
this story? I got the gist they had a plane crash. Okay, look,
I don't I don't have anything against that. I know
we're in San Francisco, you know, have half the people
listening or Asian? How do you pronounce?
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Can y'all? Can y'all roll the teleprompter? Okay? How do
you pronounce that name? Oh? That's holy?
Speaker 5 (12:42):
Oh uh, that's a long you. That's holy fuk, holy fuk?
Oh oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Uh you know what?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Put that you in all caps? I do not want
to do a a Rob Burgundy anchorman on that.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
I uh wow, Okay, holy puk, Okay, holy holy Okay,
got it all right?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Well, just uh we'll do it live.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Go.
Speaker 6 (13:13):
We have new information now also on the plane crash.
KTV has just learned the names of the four pilots
who are on board the flight. They are Captain some Ting, Wong,
we Too Low, Holy Fuk, and Bang dan Aw. The
NTSB has confirmed these are the names of the pilots
on board flight two fourteen when it crashed. We are
(13:36):
working to determine exactly what roles each of them played
during the landing on.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Saturday last time, I promise.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
But the best part about the fake media, fake news
is she says, it's been confirmed. So if y'all were
wondering who the people are that have died, we've got
the names and we've confirmed it. I dare say your
(14:04):
confirmation process is not exactly airtight. Listen to howser it's
been confirmed.
Speaker 7 (14:13):
We have new information now.
Speaker 6 (14:15):
Also on the plane crash, k TV has just learned
the names of the four pilots who are on board
the flight. They are Captain some Ting Wong we Too
Low Ho Lee Fuk and bang.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Ding al In.
Speaker 6 (14:30):
The NTSB has confirmed these are the names of the
pilots on board flight two fourteen when it crashed. We
are working to determine exactly what roles each of them
played during the landing on Saturday.
Speaker 5 (14:41):
The best part about it is the order in which
it's written. It's a joke within a joke. Some Ting
Wong we to oh you're crashing and in bang Ding
and who can forget viral sensation? Sweet Brown in her
apartment fire, Yes this really happened.
Speaker 8 (15:03):
One resident describes her horrifying experience when she first realized
the complex was on fire.
Speaker 5 (15:09):
Well, I woke up to go give me a coal pop,
and then I thought somebody was barbecued.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
I said, oh Lord, Jesus is afar.
Speaker 7 (15:18):
Then I ran out.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
I didn't grab no shoes and none of Jesus. A
rating for my life and then a smoke gat me
got brug guidies e' nobody got time today.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Ludwig van Toronto, I assume that's his known to plume
runs a newsletter.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
And a podcast, and on the site it is headlined
get Smarter on arts and culture. Should you choose to
sign up, it's Ludwig like Ludwig fun bait or just
Ludwig Beethoven. Udwig van va n Toronto like the city.
(16:12):
It sends out a weekly email about classical music and
opera that he describes as despite that it being actually enjoyable.
Is a free newsletter with over one hundred and fifty
thousand readers, and he delves deep into wordplay, the history
(16:36):
of words and how they were used. I note that
nildo has been used in various contexts throughout history, including literature, music,
and even in reference to a sailing tool. Many believe
that the island off the coast of Newfoundland, so named
(16:57):
dildo in seventeen eleven was sailor's humor, which is not
a stretch. If you know any sailors, when they're not cussing,
they're also telling jokes.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
The term dildo first appeared in.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
A sixteenth century erotic poem entitled The Merry Ballad of
Nash His Dildo by Thomas Nash. It's the first time
in a poem, not the first time it's ever used,
because we told you. Robert Green used it, according to
Ludwig von Toronto. A seventeenth century folk ballad The Maid's
(17:33):
Complaint for want of a Dildo, also used the term.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
According to Ludwig van Toronto.
Speaker 5 (17:42):
Composers like Orlando de Lasso incorporated subjective, suggestive lyrics in
some of their works, including said term. One theory, as
we noted, suggests the term may have been originated from
a phallus shaped peg used on small robotes, and the
(18:03):
term itself is also by some believed to have made
its way into English from the Italian word diletto, meaning delight.
And if you don't see how you can get from
diletto to dildo, how on earth do you think that
(18:25):
Bum Phillips was named bum because his big sister couldn't
say bubba, which is itself a bastardization of brother. And
every Bubba we know from golfers to your brother named
Bubba is so named because we just take words and
(18:48):
can't say it right, and that's what sticks. So back
to the story, an eighteen year old Arizona man was
inappropriate and therefore arrested, break into the country. Not going
to be arrested, commit a number of crimes in Harris
County or the other major counties of the country that
George Soros funds, it won't be arrested, But you dare
(19:13):
try to throw a green dildo onto the court at
an NBA game. NBA game, Oh no, that's the sort
of thing up with which we will not.
Speaker 9 (19:26):
Put Eighteen year old Caden Lopez of Waddell attempted to
throw a green sex toy onto the court, but it
did not reach the court. Instead, it hit a nine
year old girl and her uncle attending the game. Lopez
told police he purchased the sex toy the night before
after seeing other incidents on social media.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Today we heard from Braden Bell.
Speaker 9 (19:49):
He is the play by play voice of the Mercury,
and he appeared today on Fox ten talks.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
I don't know what's going on and needs to stop.
Speaker 5 (19:59):
Oh, hold on, hold, see I can appreciate that first,
he's befuddled. This is how I felt after nine to eleven.
I don't know what's going on. I mean, it's just madness.
How on earth could this be happening? The league that
has become such a joke. It's unwatchable. You ever tried
(20:21):
to watch a clip? Just go watch the sports Holah
Angel Reese was going in for she's one of the stars.
She's also one of the races. She's going in for
a layup. She ends up too far under the goal
and throws the ball up like some old man playing
with his grandkids and hits the underside of the backboard,
(20:42):
not even the goal. Airballs are plenty. But the voice
of the team. If you're the voice of the team,
you're not allowed to have an opinion. You're just a
corporate shell. The voice of the team, he says, I
don't know what's going on. This has really got him.
I mean, this is the sort what are we gonna do?
This is the kind of existential crisis that takes down civilizations.
(21:07):
All the greats have confronted such calamity, and so too
will he. And that's why he follows it up in
case you were not sure his position on it.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
It needs to stop.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
You eighteen year old boys out there buying dildos to
go to the game, throw them onto the court, film
yourself doing it, and be a viral sensation with all
your buddies. Well, you better stop. We'll not have this.
We'll not stand for it. Rewind Ramon, we need to
get this in. And they have asked the voice of
(21:42):
the team, no less than the voice of the team.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
How does that work out? I'll tell you.
Speaker 5 (21:47):
The news director said, Hey, the big story out there
is that Polymarket, the betting site, says that there are
more people they've called the dildo dailies. Polymarket is allowing
users to wager on which day a dildo will be
(22:09):
thrown onto the court during a w NBA game. More
than one hundred thousand dollars has been wagered in just
a matter of hours, exceeding the amount of money being
wagered on w NBA games themselves, making the point that
nobody cares who wins the silly game. They're much more
(22:34):
interested in what day a dildo will be thrown. Thursday
August seventh is a twenty eight percent chance a dildo
will be thrown. Friday a thirty four percent chance. But
Saturday it goes down to twenty three, Sunday popping back
up to thirty five, Monday it drops to fourteen, and
(22:55):
Tuesday to fourteen.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
I think what they're thinking.
Speaker 5 (22:58):
There is that is because this is an established betting market,
is that the league is going to get real serious
and figure out how to stop people. So there's only
a one in seven chance as of next week that
it will happen on any given day. There might be
fewer games, but there's a one in three chants better
(23:19):
than a one in three chance on Friday or Sunday,
Saturday it drops down.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
It's about as accurate as the weather report, but a
whole lot more fun to listen to.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
All Right, here's the story they've hey, listen here, Look,
we've got it.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
We've got to get this is a serious story. People
are interested.
Speaker 5 (23:36):
We got Let's get the who can we get we
can talk about Let's get the play by play announcer
for the team.
Speaker 10 (23:42):
I don't know what's going on. It needs to stop,
you know, first and foremost, I think that's that's.
Speaker 7 (23:49):
Uh, it's really inappropriate.
Speaker 10 (23:51):
It's extremely inappropriate. It's also I mean it's putting people
in danger.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Yeah, want to.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
She says it.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
Remember the character on Saturday Night says, I dang, it
would have hang out.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
He's really a probably.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
You can just imagine her mouth hanging Out's really a probably.
Lifeless eyes, black eyes like a dollar.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
Rodney Crowell, the Houston Kid, turns seventy five today.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
How about that? The grandson of the church choir leader
made it? And boy did he ever make it.
Speaker 5 (24:30):
Discovered in nineteen seventy two after moving to Nashville by
Jerry Reid. He would later meet and befriend songwriter Gary Clark.
Emmy Lou Harris. Emmy Lou Harris. You don't think Emily
(24:50):
Harris is fine? Well, when he's ninety years old, she's
still fine. Emil Lou Harris kind of had this easy
top thing going. You look sixty at twenty. By the
time you're sixty, people were like, man, you look good.
Ye huh No, she didn't have a beard, unless are
you saying, Rodney Crawle, No, no, no, no, that's not
(25:13):
Rodney Crowell turns seventy five today. He once did an
entire evening show with us from five to seven. Yes, Yes,
that was a good time. That was a good time.
We are talking about the inappropriate action that has been
taken by some very sophomoric, immature, and increasingly inappropriate young
(25:38):
men at w NBA games, absolutely reducing the dignity.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Of the game throwing green dildos on the court.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
And it's very upsetting because nobody can figure out how
they've chosen green.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Why the green? I don't know. Somewhat unrelated.
Speaker 5 (26:05):
I had a baker email me with a little tidbit
of information. Do you know the most important ingredient in deal?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Bread?
Speaker 5 (26:19):
Fox ten Phoenix with the story about the very inappropriate,
very inappropriate young man.
Speaker 9 (26:28):
Eighteen year old Caden Lopez of Waddell attempted to throw
a green sex toy onto the court, but it did
not reach the court.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Instead, it hit a.
Speaker 9 (26:37):
Nine year old girl and her uncle attending the game.
Lopez told police he purchased the sex toy the night
before after seeing other incidents on social media. Today we
heard from Braden Bell. He is the play by play
voice of the Mercury and he appeared today on Fox
ten talks.
Speaker 10 (26:56):
I don't know what's going on, and he's to stop,
you know, first and foremost, I think that's.
Speaker 7 (27:03):
That's uh, it's really inappropriate.
Speaker 10 (27:05):
It's extremely inappropriate. It's also I mean, it's putting people
in danger. Yeah, we want to, you know, discuss that
or not. These are athletes who are running, they're cutting
their something and exactly.
Speaker 7 (27:16):
Right and very and very unhygienic.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Oh, I'm glad she's part of the show.
Speaker 5 (27:23):
I'm glad they brought the digital director in to offer
female commentary. Oh, all right, got to be serious. They're
throwing green dildo's onto the court. We we we think
that's not a good that's not appropriate. Yes, yes it is,
(27:44):
and dangerous.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yes, that also dangerous, dangerous, And that's really all we
have to say. We would like to express.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Our discontent at said action being undertaken at the esteemed
w NBA game. Some people just don't know how to
conduct themselves in high culture. This was a w NBA game,
and for some reason they thought it would be funny
or something to throw a green dildo onto the court.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
And also not hygienic.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
It's not hygienic.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
It's not you know what good good point, Susie, Glad
you're here, check the web hits, Glad you're here to
offer that it's inappropriate and dangerous and unhygienic. Now, I
don't want to get too deep into this story because
it's beneath us. It's not the kind of story we're
(28:44):
gonna belabor. Okay, but why exactly is it unhygienic unless
you've the young man said that he stopped at a
sex store the day before for the game in preparation.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Now, let me ask you something. I realize that doing things.
Speaker 5 (29:06):
That make us laugh, that we get a kick out
of that are fun pranks and jokes and gags and
the like. I realize that there are certain people without
a sense of humor for whom this is very, very offensive.
And most of those are men who dress as women
and become the Health and Human Services director under the
(29:27):
Biden administration. Most of those are angry white liberal, skold
women whose husband left them three secretaries ago, like Woody Allen.
Most of those are angry white women with a long
chin hair coming out, And you're left wondering, do you
not see it?
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Do you not know what's going on there.
Speaker 5 (29:50):
Michael writes, I was in Russia and we were having
a graduation per oh.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Hold on, hold on just a second one. Well, can
you give me some music? I printed this the wrong
way and it didn't get the whole deal on here.
Speaker 5 (30:07):
Well, the way it's printed, so you're supposed to use
the box, it says printer, But if I just print
using the control pe or whatever.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Anyway, he was in Russia and.
Speaker 5 (30:24):
They well, the point is the word dildo has a
different meaning in Russia, or the word dildo is an
appropriate term in Russia. And he thought they were playing
a print on him, and they weren't. That's really all
I have on that, because I wanted to go back
to that. It felt like something. They've charged our dildo
(30:45):
thrower with disorderly conduct, public indecency, indecent exposure, and criminal trespass.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
They're really throwing the book at this fellow. And you
know the worst part.
Speaker 5 (31:04):
He threw the dildo, intending on it going onto the
court and instead he hit a dude who was with
his niece. He throws like a girl. Of course, he's
at a WNBA game, of course he is. My goodness, alive,
and that has led our team, who frankly on occasion
(31:26):
are inappropriate and unhygienic and dangerous, to start pulling together
their favorite news bloopers and viral stories. Do you remember
the time CNN was doing a story on animals that
have gone extinct?
Speaker 1 (31:46):
And this happened?
Speaker 8 (31:52):
Now, extinctions, I don't have to tell you have been
part of the natural history of the world for millennia,
and man made extinctions have even happened before. I guess
we hunt the dildo into extinction, but the Dodo rather
forgive me. I'm I'm having trouble with my worst today,
the Dono into extinction.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
I'm that old boy about a hat I experience that.
Jenny
It's that time time, time, time, luck and loadlo. So
Michael darry Show is on the air.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
We got all the spring breakers in South Bodery here
no suns, it's all pretty and the Corpus Christie May
Lord O'Connor, mad Acorda.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
And Jamaica and beach. Sure that water may be in
brown mud. It feels good on my beam.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
Galston, Well, Galston has a lot of history. And those
people come from Houstone for the ocean therapy. Welcome to them,
Go fo America. Welcome to the land of the free.
(00:56):
Welcome to them, Go of America. We're the son is.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Hide and the people long breath, grabbing and casting in
the cage and river.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
They say that Holly Beach is the mud, but paradise
and gaiters are up.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
In the swampsa chapelize.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Those cage ins are the toughest folk.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
They you leave me if you don't matter. Hurricane good
news again U.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Sleeping, letting through those beets and have the drain down
and newing. Welcome to them, Go bull Amergo. Welcome to
the land of the breed. Welcome to them, Go boot America,
(01:52):
where son is hide and the people long break the
little navy.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Ships in goes forty. See what I'm saying, Biloxi. Elvis
lived in the basket Coola when he.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
Was just a kids.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
That water turns brown and go shore and the orange beach.
The blue angels come from pensyl Coola. But shall miss them.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
If you play with the white beaches up there standing
all the way to keep sand blast where people and
golden charge of sol.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
In liting man. Now Dampa has a football.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
When the bridges and the base or Mina's ass spring
train and wear the boards of the ball play.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Welcome to them, gol boob America. Welcome to the man
of the breeze. Welcome to them gold Boot America. But
that's son and side and the people arm free. You
(02:59):
can call it what you want to. We don't have
to agree.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Now look at all that waters. All I want to
do is see.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Welcome to them, Golf of America, Welcome to the end
of three. Welcome to them, Golf of America with that
time side, and the people.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
From Maica with that flag still stands in up people Lord.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Free, our very own Joshua.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
President Trump's press team has forbidden the Associated Press from
coming to the Daily presser because of their refusal to
write the Gulf of America. What's interesting is the number
of press outlets who are pushing back on the renaming
(04:21):
of things. Oh no, you can't rename a military base.
You can't rename the golf You can't do that because
it's always been this other thing.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
What about the Redskins.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
You jumped on that nomenclature change like you were waiting
for it forever. What about the fact that we're changing
the military basis back to the name that they were,
and you jumped on it. What Trump is turning on
its head is guess what you don't need. They don't
(04:57):
have some right to sit at the press conference. You're
giving them what they desperately need, oxygen. You tell them no,
and you own them. Nobody ever understood that.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Nobody realized that he's now bringing in new media. And
why wouldn't you? Why would you keep letting them have
a power that you are fueling. I love it.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
K x A n in Austin reports twenty four Texas
Dairy Queen restaurants to close, items up for auction, with
twenty four Dairy Queen location set to close around Texas well.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Why you figure that is, I mean, I got so
into the auction. Well, hold on, I'd like to get
your thoughts on that.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
People can now purchase a variety of restaurant items and
equipment as part of an ongoing auction. The complete contents
of various Dairy Queen restaurants will be auctioned on localauctions
dot Com until Thursday afternoon. Buyers will be responsible for
disassembling all purchased items. Multiple quote Multiple Dairy Queen locations
(06:09):
are closing their doors and must liquidate the assets. Bid
on a large variety of restaurant assets and related items
that need to be removed from the location, the auction
website said. A representative from Dairy Queen confirmed that twenty
five locations have closed, but only twenty four of those
will be available for auction. All twenty five restaurants are
owned by a single franchise owner. The franchise owner continues
(06:31):
to own and operate other DQ restaurants in Texas.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
The representative said it.
Speaker 5 (06:36):
Was this franchise owner's decision to participate in an online
auction for twenty four of the twenty five locations.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
These closures are.
Speaker 5 (06:44):
An isolated event and we refrain from publicly sharing contract terms. Oh,
that makes it sound like he's a squirrel. There's one
in Rusk, Carthage, Longview, die Ball, Waskom.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
I don't know that Ascombe. I don't know whatever I
say is going to be wrong.
Speaker 5 (07:04):
I'm kind of curious what it is nacaoaches uh in
the that's in East Texas. There's four in the Amarillo
area in Panhandle in Canadian in Fritch and Herford. In
the Austin area, there's one in Flugerville on Pecan Street.
In the Beaumont area, there's one in Sour Lake and
(07:25):
one in Buna of the Buna Cougars formerly of Anthony
byrt No. He was Newton, never mind uh DFW area,
one in North Richland Hills and in Houston.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
There's one in Dayton on ninety one in Huntsville in.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
On forty five South, one on East Lake Houston Parkway
in Huffman where the where the superintendent is out of control.
Remind me to talk about Benny Swallow. This guy is
absolutely positively out of control. There's one in tom All
on twenty nine twenty and there's one in Cleveland on
(08:03):
Washington Avenue. Two in Love one on Idaloo and one
on olding and three in wake Up?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
What would you like to buy from a dairy queen?
Speaker 5 (08:13):
Ramon, No, it's not a blizzard you Jack, asked my
brother in law on the Wall America.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Michael Berry.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
You see I turned upside down, man. I tell you
not only a fan favorite, but a club owner's favorite.
Those boys, they showed up in a good mood, happy
to be there. You might not think that's a big deal.
(08:44):
A lot of bands show up grumpy, mad, furious, and
they walk in the door with a lot of drama already.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Oh yeah, I ain't king to drink. It's ridiculous. Traffic
was horror.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
Not these boys showed up early, happy to sit down
and talk to you, happy to be there. What does
it look like tonight? And if you don't know, it's okay?
But you want us to greet fans before after both?
How many folks you want us to greet?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Anything? In particularly you want us to announce from the stage?
Are you kidding me? Nobody does this?
Speaker 5 (09:21):
Guys, you just be you, You're awesome and they stand
up there and they don't do the what was the
band Smashing Pumpkins deal? Where your twenty songs in before
they play a song that anybody knows.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
We got a new album out.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
I know the stuff you like goes back to seventy
six and it's mostly late seventies and into the eighties.
But we got a new album we're trying to push
in the next fifteen of our sixteen song set is
going to be songs you never heard of. So you
came to see the Bellamy Brothers, but actually you're gonna
just hear this band whose songs you never heard of
(10:09):
when you're here with your girl to sing along the
songs you knew well. They are just wonderful. I love
and adore them. They're fantastic. They're fantastic human beings. Fantastic
human beings. So since we're on the subject of bloopers,
our team put together, in short order their favorite bloopers,
(10:32):
and our collective favorite is not technically a blooper, which
is something going wrong on set. It was a prank
called in by a guy who lost his job, but
let me say I think it was well worth it.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
The credit where.
Speaker 5 (10:49):
It's due goes to KTVU in San Francisco.
Speaker 6 (10:55):
We have new information now also on the plane crash.
KTV has just learned the names of the four pilots
who are on board the flight. They are Captain some Ting,
Wong we Too Low, Hole Fuk and Bang ding ao in.
The NTSB has confirmed these are the names of the
pilots on board fly To fourteen when it crashed. We
(11:17):
are working to determine exactly what roles each of them
played during the landing on Saturday.
Speaker 5 (11:23):
I could hear that one hundred times because each time
I have a new appreciation for one or the other
of the names.
Speaker 6 (11:29):
We have new information now also on the plane crash.
KTVs just learned the names of the four pilots who
are on board the flight. They are Captain some Ting,
Wong we Too Low, Hole Fuk, and Bang ding Ao in.
The NTSB has confirmed these are the names of the
pilots on board fly To fourteen when it crashed. We
(11:51):
are working to determine exactly what roles each of them
played during the landing on Saturday.
Speaker 5 (11:56):
Can't you imagine how the appreciated went the anchor, Hey, hey, hey, Barry,
that's the that's the news. Director Barry, Oh, Bobby marymone
wants to do director be Bobby okay, Bobby hey uh
man or woman man. Okay, Bobby hold on, did you
(12:17):
did you read through this? Did you read through this
this story? I got the gist they had a plane crash. Okay, look,
I don't I don't have anything against that. I know
we're in San Francisco, you know, have half the people
listening or Asian? How do you pronounce?
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Can y'all? Can y'all roll the teleprompter? Okay? How do
you pronounce that name? Oh? That's holy?
Speaker 5 (12:42):
Oh uh, that's a long you. That's holy fuk, holy fuk?
Oh oh my goodness.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Uh you know what?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Put that you in all caps? I do not want
to do a a Rob Burgundy anchorman on that.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
I uh wow, Okay, holy puk, Okay, holy holy Okay,
got it all right?
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Well, just uh we'll do it live.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Go.
Speaker 6 (13:13):
We have new information now also on the plane crash.
KTV has just learned the names of the four pilots
who are on board the flight. They are Captain some Ting, Wong,
we Too Low, Holy Fuk, and Bang dan Aw. The
NTSB has confirmed these are the names of the pilots
on board flight two fourteen when it crashed. We are
(13:36):
working to determine exactly what roles each of them played
during the landing on.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Saturday last time, I promise.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
But the best part about the fake media, fake news
is she says, it's been confirmed. So if y'all were
wondering who the people are that have died, we've got
the names and we've confirmed it. I dare say your
(14:04):
confirmation process is not exactly airtight. Listen to howser it's
been confirmed.
Speaker 7 (14:13):
We have new information now.
Speaker 6 (14:15):
Also on the plane crash, k TV has just learned
the names of the four pilots who are on board
the flight. They are Captain some Ting Wong we Too
Low Ho Lee Fuk and bang.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
Ding al In.
Speaker 6 (14:30):
The NTSB has confirmed these are the names of the
pilots on board flight two fourteen when it crashed. We
are working to determine exactly what roles each of them
played during the landing on Saturday.
Speaker 5 (14:41):
The best part about it is the order in which
it's written. It's a joke within a joke. Some Ting
Wong we to oh you're crashing and in bang Ding
and who can forget viral sensation? Sweet Brown in her
apartment fire, Yes this really happened.
Speaker 8 (15:03):
One resident describes her horrifying experience when she first realized
the complex was on fire.
Speaker 5 (15:09):
Well, I woke up to go give me a coal pop,
and then I thought somebody was barbecued.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
I said, oh Lord, Jesus is afar.
Speaker 7 (15:18):
Then I ran out.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
I didn't grab no shoes and none of Jesus. A
rating for my life and then a smoke gat me
got brug guidies e' nobody got time today.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Ludwig van Toronto, I assume that's his known to plume
runs a newsletter.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
And a podcast, and on the site it is headlined
get Smarter on arts and culture. Should you choose to
sign up, it's Ludwig like Ludwig fun bait or just
Ludwig Beethoven. Udwig van va n Toronto like the city.
(16:12):
It sends out a weekly email about classical music and
opera that he describes as despite that it being actually enjoyable.
Is a free newsletter with over one hundred and fifty
thousand readers, and he delves deep into wordplay, the history
(16:36):
of words and how they were used. I note that
nildo has been used in various contexts throughout history, including literature, music,
and even in reference to a sailing tool. Many believe
that the island off the coast of Newfoundland, so named
(16:57):
dildo in seventeen eleven was sailor's humor, which is not
a stretch. If you know any sailors, when they're not cussing,
they're also telling jokes.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
The term dildo first appeared in.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
A sixteenth century erotic poem entitled The Merry Ballad of
Nash His Dildo by Thomas Nash. It's the first time
in a poem, not the first time it's ever used,
because we told you. Robert Green used it, according to
Ludwig von Toronto. A seventeenth century folk ballad The Maid's
(17:33):
Complaint for want of a Dildo, also used the term.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
According to Ludwig van Toronto.
Speaker 5 (17:42):
Composers like Orlando de Lasso incorporated subjective, suggestive lyrics in
some of their works, including said term. One theory, as
we noted, suggests the term may have been originated from
a phallus shaped peg used on small robotes, and the
(18:03):
term itself is also by some believed to have made
its way into English from the Italian word diletto, meaning delight.
And if you don't see how you can get from
diletto to dildo, how on earth do you think that
(18:25):
Bum Phillips was named bum because his big sister couldn't
say bubba, which is itself a bastardization of brother. And
every Bubba we know from golfers to your brother named
Bubba is so named because we just take words and
(18:48):
can't say it right, and that's what sticks. So back
to the story, an eighteen year old Arizona man was
inappropriate and therefore arrested, break into the country. Not going
to be arrested, commit a number of crimes in Harris
County or the other major counties of the country that
George Soros funds, it won't be arrested, But you dare
(19:13):
try to throw a green dildo onto the court at
an NBA game. NBA game, Oh no, that's the sort
of thing up with which we will not.
Speaker 9 (19:26):
Put Eighteen year old Caden Lopez of Waddell attempted to
throw a green sex toy onto the court, but it
did not reach the court. Instead, it hit a nine
year old girl and her uncle attending the game. Lopez
told police he purchased the sex toy the night before
after seeing other incidents on social media.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Today we heard from Braden Bell.
Speaker 9 (19:49):
He is the play by play voice of the Mercury,
and he appeared today on Fox ten talks.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
I don't know what's going on and needs to stop.
Speaker 5 (19:59):
Oh, hold on, hold, see I can appreciate that first,
he's befuddled. This is how I felt after nine to eleven.
I don't know what's going on. I mean, it's just madness.
How on earth could this be happening? The league that
has become such a joke. It's unwatchable. You ever tried
(20:21):
to watch a clip? Just go watch the sports Holah
Angel Reese was going in for she's one of the stars.
She's also one of the races. She's going in for
a layup. She ends up too far under the goal
and throws the ball up like some old man playing
with his grandkids and hits the underside of the backboard,
(20:42):
not even the goal. Airballs are plenty. But the voice
of the team. If you're the voice of the team,
you're not allowed to have an opinion. You're just a
corporate shell. The voice of the team, he says, I
don't know what's going on. This has really got him.
I mean, this is the sort what are we gonna do?
This is the kind of existential crisis that takes down civilizations.
(21:07):
All the greats have confronted such calamity, and so too
will he. And that's why he follows it up in
case you were not sure his position on it.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
It needs to stop.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
You eighteen year old boys out there buying dildos to
go to the game, throw them onto the court, film
yourself doing it, and be a viral sensation with all
your buddies. Well, you better stop. We'll not have this.
We'll not stand for it. Rewind Ramon, we need to
get this in. And they have asked the voice of
(21:42):
the team, no less than the voice of the team.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
How does that work out? I'll tell you.
Speaker 5 (21:47):
The news director said, Hey, the big story out there
is that Polymarket, the betting site, says that there are
more people they've called the dildo dailies. Polymarket is allowing
users to wager on which day a dildo will be
(22:09):
thrown onto the court during a w NBA game. More
than one hundred thousand dollars has been wagered in just
a matter of hours, exceeding the amount of money being
wagered on w NBA games themselves, making the point that
nobody cares who wins the silly game. They're much more
(22:34):
interested in what day a dildo will be thrown. Thursday
August seventh is a twenty eight percent chance a dildo
will be thrown. Friday a thirty four percent chance. But
Saturday it goes down to twenty three, Sunday popping back
up to thirty five, Monday it drops to fourteen, and
(22:55):
Tuesday to fourteen.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
I think what they're thinking.
Speaker 5 (22:58):
There is that is because this is an established betting market,
is that the league is going to get real serious
and figure out how to stop people. So there's only
a one in seven chance as of next week that
it will happen on any given day. There might be
fewer games, but there's a one in three chants better
(23:19):
than a one in three chance on Friday or Sunday,
Saturday it drops down.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
It's about as accurate as the weather report, but a
whole lot more fun to listen to.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
All Right, here's the story they've hey, listen here, Look,
we've got it.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
We've got to get this is a serious story. People
are interested.
Speaker 5 (23:36):
We got Let's get the who can we get we
can talk about Let's get the play by play announcer
for the team.
Speaker 10 (23:42):
I don't know what's going on. It needs to stop,
you know, first and foremost, I think that's that's.
Speaker 7 (23:49):
Uh, it's really inappropriate.
Speaker 10 (23:51):
It's extremely inappropriate. It's also I mean it's putting people
in danger.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Yeah, want to.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
She says it.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
Remember the character on Saturday Night says, I dang, it
would have hang out.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
He's really a probably.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
You can just imagine her mouth hanging Out's really a probably.
Lifeless eyes, black eyes like a dollar.
Speaker 5 (24:13):
Rodney Crowell, the Houston Kid, turns seventy five today.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
How about that? The grandson of the church choir leader
made it? And boy did he ever make it.
Speaker 5 (24:30):
Discovered in nineteen seventy two after moving to Nashville by
Jerry Reid. He would later meet and befriend songwriter Gary Clark.
Emmy Lou Harris. Emmy Lou Harris. You don't think Emily
(24:50):
Harris is fine? Well, when he's ninety years old, she's
still fine. Emil Lou Harris kind of had this easy
top thing going. You look sixty at twenty. By the
time you're sixty, people were like, man, you look good.
Ye huh No, she didn't have a beard, unless are
you saying, Rodney Crawle, No, no, no, no, that's not
(25:13):
Rodney Crowell turns seventy five today. He once did an
entire evening show with us from five to seven. Yes, Yes,
that was a good time. That was a good time.
We are talking about the inappropriate action that has been
taken by some very sophomoric, immature, and increasingly inappropriate young
(25:38):
men at w NBA games, absolutely reducing the dignity.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Of the game throwing green dildos on the court.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
And it's very upsetting because nobody can figure out how
they've chosen green.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Why the green? I don't know. Somewhat unrelated.
Speaker 5 (26:05):
I had a baker email me with a little tidbit
of information. Do you know the most important ingredient in deal?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Bread?
Speaker 5 (26:19):
Fox ten Phoenix with the story about the very inappropriate,
very inappropriate young man.
Speaker 9 (26:28):
Eighteen year old Caden Lopez of Waddell attempted to throw
a green sex toy onto the court, but it did
not reach the court.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Instead, it hit a.
Speaker 9 (26:37):
Nine year old girl and her uncle attending the game.
Lopez told police he purchased the sex toy the night
before after seeing other incidents on social media. Today we
heard from Braden Bell. He is the play by play
voice of the Mercury and he appeared today on Fox
ten talks.
Speaker 10 (26:56):
I don't know what's going on, and he's to stop,
you know, first and foremost, I think that's.
Speaker 7 (27:03):
That's uh, it's really inappropriate.
Speaker 10 (27:05):
It's extremely inappropriate. It's also I mean, it's putting people
in danger. Yeah, we want to, you know, discuss that
or not. These are athletes who are running, they're cutting
their something and exactly.
Speaker 7 (27:16):
Right and very and very unhygienic.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Oh, I'm glad she's part of the show.
Speaker 5 (27:23):
I'm glad they brought the digital director in to offer
female commentary. Oh, all right, got to be serious. They're
throwing green dildo's onto the court. We we we think
that's not a good that's not appropriate. Yes, yes it is,
(27:44):
and dangerous.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yes, that also dangerous, dangerous, And that's really all we
have to say. We would like to express.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Our discontent at said action being undertaken at the esteemed
w NBA game. Some people just don't know how to
conduct themselves in high culture. This was a w NBA game,
and for some reason they thought it would be funny
or something to throw a green dildo onto the court.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
And also not hygienic.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
It's not hygienic.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
It's not you know what good good point, Susie, Glad
you're here, check the web hits, Glad you're here to
offer that it's inappropriate and dangerous and unhygienic. Now, I
don't want to get too deep into this story because
it's beneath us. It's not the kind of story we're
(28:44):
gonna belabor. Okay, but why exactly is it unhygienic unless
you've the young man said that he stopped at a
sex store the day before for the game in preparation.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Now, let me ask you something. I realize that doing things.
Speaker 5 (29:06):
That make us laugh, that we get a kick out
of that are fun pranks and jokes and gags and
the like. I realize that there are certain people without
a sense of humor for whom this is very, very offensive.
And most of those are men who dress as women
and become the Health and Human Services director under the
(29:27):
Biden administration. Most of those are angry white liberal, skold
women whose husband left them three secretaries ago, like Woody Allen.
Most of those are angry white women with a long
chin hair coming out, And you're left wondering, do you
not see it?
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Do you not know what's going on there.
Speaker 5 (29:50):
Michael writes, I was in Russia and we were having
a graduation per oh.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Hold on, hold on just a second one. Well, can
you give me some music? I printed this the wrong
way and it didn't get the whole deal on here.
Speaker 5 (30:07):
Well, the way it's printed, so you're supposed to use
the box, it says printer, But if I just print
using the control pe or whatever.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Anyway, he was in Russia and.
Speaker 5 (30:24):
They well, the point is the word dildo has a
different meaning in Russia, or the word dildo is an
appropriate term in Russia. And he thought they were playing
a print on him, and they weren't. That's really all
I have on that, because I wanted to go back
to that. It felt like something. They've charged our dildo
(30:45):
thrower with disorderly conduct, public indecency, indecent exposure, and criminal trespass.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
They're really throwing the book at this fellow. And you
know the worst part.
Speaker 5 (31:04):
He threw the dildo, intending on it going onto the
court and instead he hit a dude who was with
his niece. He throws like a girl. Of course, he's
at a WNBA game, of course he is. My goodness, alive,
and that has led our team, who frankly on occasion
(31:26):
are inappropriate and unhygienic and dangerous, to start pulling together
their favorite news bloopers and viral stories. Do you remember
the time CNN was doing a story on animals that
have gone extinct?
Speaker 1 (31:46):
And this happened?
Speaker 8 (31:52):
Now, extinctions, I don't have to tell you have been
part of the natural history of the world for millennia,
and man made extinctions have even happened before. I guess
we hunt the dildo into extinction, but the Dodo rather
forgive me. I'm I'm having trouble with my worst today,
the Dono into extinction.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
I'm that old boy about a hat I experience that.
Jenny
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Bobby Bones Show
Listen to 'The Bobby Bones Show' by downloading the daily full replay.