Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Was that what I Lisa taking Michael Berry. She's a
great voice. I'm not trying to creep you out. Why
does everybody think everything is sexual? Or may be worse?
Have I reached the point where I don't think everything
is sexual? Which makes me old? It's crazy because so
(00:21):
I said, I posted a little story about my buddy
Toby Shults and that, you know, we used to have
a sleepover when we were a kid, you know, when
we were in sixth, seventh, eighth grade, and I get,
you know, like five emails from people going, that's gay,
that's gay. We were in sixth grade and we rode
(00:43):
our bikes over to the other one's house because our
parents but we grew up in a Southern Baptist home
and neither one of us, neither one of our parents
would allow us to go out to any other heathen
houses where the people drank. That's not gay, good grief.
We'd we'd stay up and watch Benny Hill. Now that
might have been, but I mean, my point is it's
(01:03):
kind of tiresome. Actually if you everything you say. You know,
I said something about my knees the other day and
someone that's my niche, you creep what a weird thing
to do anyway, That was meant to start off as
a very positive segment and say say thank you to
somebody today. Tell somebody you love them, that you work with,
(01:24):
that that did something for you. Thank somebody for just
being great at what they do if they work for you,
with you, or are your boss. All right, let's get started.
I always cut it short, and I don't want to
do that because that's not fair to Chad A. Coney Knakanishi,
the greatest executive producer in all the Land. Courtesy of
Chad A. Coney Knockanishi, the greatest executive producer in all
(01:46):
the Land. It is your week in Reviews. I think
it was written by an obstetrician. Ah push it oo
baby baby baby baby. Ooh baby baby, but baby baby
hit up on this. I could see the musical influence
(02:18):
Hong Kong. You know, I think we have fun. You guys,
there were grown men sitting in a downtown New York
office building creating stuff like that for kids.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
A road rage fight in the heart of Magnolia, and
it happened right in front of the Montgomery County Sheriff.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Sheriff Wesley Doolittle was driving to an event when suddenly
he came up on a dangerous scene. Do little breaking
up a road rage incident as a driver involved was
brandishing a gun.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I actually asked a guy, I said, please, do not
make me.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
She did to see a sheriff take somebody down his
own dang cell. Yeah, that's that's Wesley. Do a lot ramon,
not do little? Am I right?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Police say she tried to impersonate an Ice age just
so that she could get revenge on her ex boyfriend.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
Battle showed up at the victim's job, identifying herself as
an ICE agent, wearing a black shirt with ICE printed
on the front, carrying a handheld radio and a sheriff's
office business card.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
We don't believe there's any other threat to the public
at this time. Now, let's talk to local law enforcement.
Should the public be concerned? No, we think this was
an isolated event. We've got it under control now.
Speaker 6 (03:25):
Trapper forced to wrangle an alligator right in the middle
of I ninety five. A reptile on the highway there
in Jacksonville, Monday.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
The barefoot trapper known.
Speaker 6 (03:33):
As the Blue Collar Brawler is up there capturing the
giant gator.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
I think to myself, you got these people, and thank
God for my highlights. Like things that I go through
a bad MF. I managed to stop buying my fingernails.
That's pretty much where I am, you know what I mean.
We don't talk enough about John Popper's harmonica playing. That
dude can blow the mouth organ.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
H side.
Speaker 7 (04:03):
As Michael Very Show continues, some.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Of you remember Rico Mastriani. Rico uh America is his
real name, but he goes by Rico and he.
Speaker 6 (04:24):
Was our.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
His He was officially listed as being security, but really
Rico was the face of the RCC. He was the
person that most people saw first when they came on property,
and they saw last when they left the property. He
would escort the little old ladies in. He would help
people out. He would he would provide security where it
was needed, and there were a few times that it
(04:49):
was uh he would he would break up if if
two people would were arguing, he would keep it from
from escalating. But he really cared about the people and
he's remained a friend of mine to this day. He's
a wonderful, wonderful guy. He's a great dad to his
two boys. He sent me a video or I guess
he posted it and I pulled it. And there's really
(05:11):
no good reason for me to play this other than
I thought it was hilarious. So he was driving to
work a month or so ago and there's a cow
on He drives down this country road somewhere out in
Beasley or Richmond area, and there's a cow that comes
up to the fence and he gets out and talks
(05:32):
to the cow. And you just got to know Rico
if you ever came to the RCC. He was a big,
big burly guy with a black go tee and he'd
usually wear sunglasses and he'd wear a duster. Everyone knew
him by his duster, his black duster, usually in boots
and black hat. You couldn't miss Rico. Everybody knew Rico.
(05:53):
Manstrean Air just they knew Rico anyway. So it's it's
him getting out and talking to this cow. And the
reason I share it is it's kind of Rico in
touch with his softer side. And I think all of
us could stand to drive a country road and get
out and have a one way conversation with a cow.
(06:14):
I really do. I think it's a long horn if
I remember correctly, So not a cow longhorn. But I
think we could all stand to maybe have a conversation
with nature on more than one occasion. Probably good for
our blood pressure.
Speaker 8 (06:31):
Good morning, buddy, how you doing. I got this buddy
of mine on a radio. He likes to talk a lot,
and he told me to give you a new name.
He said, Carmel Mel for short.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
You good with that.
Speaker 7 (06:55):
I know.
Speaker 8 (06:58):
It's not so bad of a name. Huh, you're just
chilling out again, I know, Mel. Can you say Mel?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
That's right?
Speaker 9 (07:17):
Mel, Mel.
Speaker 10 (07:27):
You have a good day, buddy.
Speaker 8 (07:31):
I'll come visit with you tomorrow. Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
You know when when when I think about how difficult
it has to be for Democrats today, I got so
much audio that we haven't we haven't even begun to
scratch the surface. There's there's audio of Elizabeth Warren telling
the Fed they got to lower the interest rate and
(07:56):
you know it has to be done, and practically threatening them.
And then when Trump does it a few days ago,
she says, or this is this is a constitutional crisis.
There there's Harry Reid saying that you know, this Fourteenth
Amendment is being being made a sham of with all
this birthright citizenship and it's it's all so horrible and
(08:18):
it needs to stop. There's all of these cases Chuck
Schumer talking about things that now he criticizes Donald Trump for.
And you know, they all loved Trump. The hilarious thing
is they all loved Trump when he was a guy
that they felt like they could use. But they're not
(08:38):
consistent on anything, and they can't be consistent. And the
important thing to understand, and this is where our folks
get confused, and it'll make you crazy, is believing that
they have any sense of principle. They want raw power
and control. They will use that to get money and
sex and other things, but it's the power they crave.
(09:02):
And until you understand that, they're gonna make you crazy
because you're gonna.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Go how can he say that?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
He says that now, But remember when they said this, Hey,
calm down, calm down. This is the crazy guy at
the bus stop. When you drive past the crazy guy
at the bus stop and your windows are down and
he says, hey, you're a cannibal and a murderer. You
don't you don't go back up and go back says
why do you say that? You go? Oh? Crazy guy
(09:31):
has words. Crazy guy has ideas. You don't think twice
about it. You have to understand that progressives, communists, Marxists, liberals,
they are all They're all the same now, b L
m A. It is all about power. They want power.
They are Hall monitor wannabes. That's why it all fits
(09:54):
in together. These seemingly disparate ideas all fit in together. Power.
That's COVID, your children not belonging to you. DEI. It's
all about power. And you can imagine. I mean, they
need a drug for this, because what are they going
to do? They can't keep it all straight.
Speaker 7 (10:12):
The following is a pay commercial announcement from far left
wing nuts. Are you tired of being confused about which
arrests are good for democracy and which are dangerous escalations?
Call the New Rules for the Justice Hotline at one
eight hundred eighty you crazy. Our highly trained political consultants
are standing by to explain arresting a former president you
(10:34):
don't like.
Speaker 6 (10:35):
Tonight, a former president is facing federal charges for the
first time in US history. Rolic arresting a judge who
Harvard's illegal aliens, Oh fascism.
Speaker 7 (10:44):
Democrats are condemning the arrest of Wisconsin judge Hannah Dugan
warning it could threaten the rule of law.
Speaker 6 (10:51):
And I think it's time in America that we finally
having proper conversation about the F word.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
No, not that one, fascism, indicting rivals, saving democracy, enforcing
immigration law.
Speaker 8 (11:05):
When you're in the country of legist violation. Eight United
States Cold thirteen twenty five.
Speaker 10 (11:09):
Speaking asylum is legal?
Speaker 8 (11:11):
Do you want to seek asylon and go through the
port of entry? Do the legal way? And of the Republic,
the Attorney General of the United States have made that
clear warning.
Speaker 7 (11:19):
Logic, consistency, and memory from five minutes ago may cause
severe allergic reactions in color long.
Speaker 6 (11:27):
So don't think, don't ask questions, just dial what eight
hundred you crazy? Today operators are standing by right next
to the piles of shredded subpoenas, burned ballots, and Hunter
Biden laptops rules for the Justice oubi because hypocrisy isn't
a budd it's the whole business model. This this is
(11:51):
the Michael Berry Show.
Speaker 10 (11:52):
Yeah, that's the one.
Speaker 7 (11:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
The Kentucky Derby is this weekend. I think our friend
Matt Bryce is having a Derby party, or as many
Englishmen say, a Derby party. Hold On, I wrote down
some yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. They are having it at
Federal American Grill at the Hedwig Village location, which is
(12:19):
itinan Campbell and the Woodlands location, and Katie not at
the downtown and but anyway, they do prizes. You know,
the girls love to dress up. Heck, I think some
of the guys let like to dress up too. It's
such a silly, ridiculous, absurdist thing to do. And that's
the fun of it, isn't it. I mean, really it is.
You know, drink Mitt Julips. Mit jellips are kind of
(12:41):
one of those things that you only you only drink
at this time and and I don't know, I think
the whole thing is funny and fun I got no
problem with anyway. It snuck up on me this here.
It's in between Easter and Mother's Day. You got baseball season,
you got basketball playoffs, and you got football coming in
the fall and all that. You know, you just had
the draft, and that takes your time, and the politics.
(13:03):
He's twenty four to seven for me right now. I mean,
it's it's really more of an event than a sport.
You're right. Okayan makes a good point. The most famous
horse race of all time, or not horse race? The
most famous what I say racehorse has to be Secretariat,
right the Michael Jordan the horse racing Sea Biscuit would
(13:23):
be Lebron is not a fair assessment. That's that's Jim's assessment.
I don't know. Kentucky Derby is one of the oldest
traditions on American soil. They've been racing since eighteen seventy five.
They've never canceled, which is pretty cool. They moved it
(13:44):
to the fall during COVID, but they did not cancel.
By the way, Ramon, have you ever had a mint Julip?
Never have had a mint jewelup? Terrible? They could either
cause or kill malaria. I can't remember swine flew cancer
A just one swaller. Yeah, there's nothing. It's they're not
(14:05):
They sound so good a mint jew and I like mint.
Here we are in the Bourbon country and somebody thought, hey,
let's poison the tourists by adding a bunch of sugar
and mint to our perfectly fine bourbon. Why would you
do that? You're trying to girlify it. Our buddy Matt
Brice at Federal American Girl would at least do it right.
(14:28):
But he does that smoking gun, old fashioned table side.
You ever had that with the smoke and the box
and all we used to do at the RCC. That's
that's cool. I mean, that's that's that is cool right there,
The fastest horse in Derby history, Secretariat goes from a
head in front on the backstretch and pulls away by
(14:49):
two lengths at the finish. This morning we were looking
at we were watching the footage, so I guess you
if you haven't seen the footage, wouldn't make sense. But
the first leg of the triple Crown in a track
record that's still stands at one fifty nine point four
to oh.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Angle light in fifth. The Secretariat has made a sudden
move and is now six. Then it's restless jet our
native beginning to move up, Navajo four go and Warbucks
beginning to move up, followed by my gallant and twice
a Prince. They're into the turn and bunching for the leader,
with Shecky Green still the leader by half a length
(15:27):
on the outside and challenging his sham and he's.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Now got a head in front.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
Now Shecky Green responds to the challenge in those two
are heads apart. Royal and Regal is third and holding
on gold Bag drops back. Secretariat is fourth and moving
up on the outside and is now third and moving
at the leaders as they come for the head of
the stretch. They're at the head of the stretch and
Cham is the leader. He leaves it by a length.
Secretariat is in the center of the racetrack and driving.
(15:52):
Checky Green now drops back, coming on of it is
forgo our native on the outside now and they're in
the stretch. It's sex Secretariatcretariat on the outside to take
the lead. Sham holding in second. It's Secretariat moving away.
He has it might two and a half Sham not
on the outside. Our need is at the wire, explaing
to be Secretariat.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
He wins it by two lengths.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
Jam a second, our native third.
Speaker 9 (16:15):
By an act.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
More goings forth restless Jennis him and it looked like
Navaho might have gotten enough for six the big horse,
the six million dollar syndication. Secretariat responding to what they
asked today, was he the real horse? Or was he not?
And you saw it.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
I find it interesting to learn about things that other
people are into. You know, some people they're really into something.
They want to kind of show off, and if you
if I so much as mentioned it, they'll want to
correct me to show how smart they are. You don't
need to do that. I don't claim to be an expert.
I had a hell of a good time with Mattress
Mac a couple of years ago. President Trump came in
our suite, Jordan Peterson came in our suite, and you know,
(16:55):
Mac puts the biggest bet down every year. So you're
followed the whole day by NBC, which is fine, and
you need to pick your nose and you gotta kind
of slip off. And Secretariat would go on to set
track records at Preakness and then Belmont, where the stallion
won the Triple Crown by an incredible thirty one links. Officially,
the announcer says twenty five links in the audio, but
(17:16):
it has been said that it was in fact thirty
one links. Becoming the greatest racehorse of all time, that's
something that is uh. The slowest winning time was a
horse by the name of Kingman in eighteen ninety one
(17:38):
at two point fifty two twenty five. I guess that
was before we discovered steroids. We started juicing them with
the steroids. In related news, Elmer's Glue was founded two
months later. Too soon, Too soon, took you a second,
didn't it? In twenty fifteen, ten years ago. The largest
(18:03):
crowd on Derby day one hundred seventy five hundred and thirteen.
The last triple crown winner was seven years ago. The
horse's name was Some folks out there will know we
got some horse racing fans. I know we do. I
know for a fact. Justify which I have a problem.
We don't need triple crown winners all the time anyway.
(18:25):
So I went to the Kentucky Derby a couple of
years ago, and Eddie Martini's brother, father Lee Martini, is
the priest for that diocese. I guess he's the priest
of the church. The church was built in eighteen seventy,
completed in eighteen seventy. And you think about this, That
(18:46):
means they had to start building that thing right after
the Civil War in Kentucky, which was ravaged. It's one
of the most beautiful churches I've ever been in, and
I've been in every major If Sir Christopher Wren designed it.
If it's in London, Paris, Italy, I've been there, and
(19:06):
I'm gonna tell you something. This little church right there
in Louisville is one of the most beautiful churches. But anyway,
Father Lee Martinian and I and my wife and Mattress
Mac spent the day together. Mattress Mac is a very,
very devout Catholic, so he loved having the priest with us.
But the coolest thing, the funniest thing was Father Lee
obviously wore his you know, the whole get up, his
(19:28):
his his robes, and people would come up and ask
him to pick their numbers, and people would give him.
They would buy a ticket and give him one, and
he would say, I can't keep it, but if this
ticket wins, it will be handed over. He doesn't accept money,
he doesn't spend money, he doesn't use me. He retired
from the militaries in the navy, uh and he gave
(19:51):
he had all of his retirement sent to his parents.
He took a vow of penury. It's pretty pretty amazing story, really,
Father Lee Eddie's brother.
Speaker 10 (19:59):
He was in.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Africa at a on a mission there, and Eddie sent
a lot of money over and everybody knew Father Leed did,
and they they founded all these schools and and all
these things. But it's it's someone that has devoted their
their life to uh sacrifice and service, and it's a
pretty cool deal. And people coming up nobody made jokes,
(20:23):
Nobody you know, made priest jokes or whatever. They knew
this wasn't a guy masquerading. People came up and were
so respectful and and so tender toward him about what
he does and how much that means to them. And
I took I took that away from the experience as
much as anything else. Of course, Mac was in four
(20:43):
million bucks kind of stuff to Michael Barry show. If
he doesn't say it, who will?
Speaker 10 (20:52):
You know?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
The reason we played this got how much I liked
it run is it was on this day in twenty
eleven that Osama bin Laden was killed by the Navy
seals who went in and bravely put him down like
the dog he is. And it was done in Abadabad, Pakistan,
(21:19):
a matter of a few feet from what is the
equivalent of their west point. You think the Pakistani government
didn't know and wasn't wasn't involved, Remember Abadabad was in
the news last week.
Speaker 10 (21:31):
I determined that we had enough intelligence to take action
and authorized an operation to get Osama bin Laden in Abadabad, Pakistan,
abadabad abadabad Abadabad, Pakakistan Abadabadabad.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Who made that? Was that Bobian pocket?
Speaker 10 (22:02):
It's done. Let me be clear, Let me be clear,
Let me be clear.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
The whole thing with Ossam bin Laden reminded me of
Ralphie May talking about Osama ban You remember this.
Speaker 11 (22:18):
There's one bogey man that ain't gonna get anybody anymore,
and that's old Ben Lawdon Ben Lydden's done, got got that.
If I told you ten years ago that it would
be the Navy that got Ben Laden, you'd be like, stop,
there's no water there. Would they drop a boat on
his ass? I mean, come on, son, those Navy seals, boy,
(22:41):
they handled their business. Jack got him, killed his ass,
then they threw him in the ocean like a decepticon.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Let me ask you a question.
Speaker 11 (22:52):
Okay, these Navy seals that did their job expeditiously, that
are amazing individuals. Would you feel and look at your hearts,
would you feel any different about those men on Steal
Team six who brought bin Laden to justice if you
found out that they had slept with a couple of
dudes in their life before. Hell no, right, it'd be
(23:13):
like you're a hero, right, Hell yeah, Give that boy
some ribbons. I know they love ribbons. Get him a
baby blue ribon to go around his neck. Oh better yet,
let's have a parade. Let's have a parade. Have be awesome.
I know we just repealed don't ask, don't tell, but
(23:34):
people still have a problem with it. You could be anything,
but if you want to raise your hand and serve
this country, you can't do it.
Speaker 9 (23:40):
You can't protect your family. Nope, nope, nope, because you
sleep with the wrong people.
Speaker 11 (23:44):
All right, that's what we were saying, like really, like
you're afraid you're not gonna be able to shoot without
junk hitting them in the head.
Speaker 9 (23:53):
Stop stop, yes, I am trying to be a sniper. Okay,
now get.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
In a minute, Jesus.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
My last interview with Ralphie May before he died, he
was so young. There were a couple of moments that
that I really enjoyed, and one of them was when
he found out that Snoop and Henry Winkler the Fawns
were fans of his. So the question was the guy
that you were a big fan of? And then the
moment you realize that they want to meet you and
(24:29):
they're a fan of you.
Speaker 9 (24:31):
That was I have two. I have two that I
had different different scopes.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Snoop Dogg.
Speaker 9 (24:40):
After a last comic standing reached out to me and
brought his whole Aunthorage to see me perform. And we've
become friends now for over the last ten years, or
actually buddies. But I was a little taken aback, you know.
I mean he's a musician, of course, and too many
(25:00):
had the career he has in his field, but also
an actor, you know, but I respect him on a
number of levels, but also the fonds you know, Henry Winkler,
Henry Winkler. That that kind of threw me back a
little bit. How did you find that out? He called me,
He reached out, found my agent and called me up
(25:26):
to do and I got to do a week he
was producing the Hollywood Squares and I got to do
a week of Hollywood Squares, which has always been a
thing I wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
How cool was that? And then I talked to him
about Henry Winkler and the old jumping the Shark. How
long do you have to know Henry Winkler until it's
not a douche move to go. All right, Hey, look,
can we talk about happy days for just a minute.
Oh he's so sweet.
Speaker 9 (25:54):
He's like one of the sweetest, nicest guys of all time.
He has zero egos, zero pretense, So you talk about it.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah, man, yeah, all right. I have a couple of questions.
You may have asked, does he still have the leather jacket.
Speaker 9 (26:05):
He's got Actually that one is in the Smithsonian. Is
the one that he wore?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I let the white T shirt that's somewhere to Did
you ever use the phrase jump the shark in Henry
Winkler's presence, Yes.
Speaker 9 (26:17):
Yes, And he's like, you know, when we I thought
that the episode was a little much. I didn't know
it was going to become this cultural phenomenon.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Imagine.
Speaker 9 (26:25):
Yeah, I mean it's like he imagine. It's like it's like,
you know, Henry winkleran saying, I think this is going
a little too far, this episode where I jump a shark,
Like that's a little much. Okay. I think the only
thing we can come back we can't recover after that,
all right. Is the equivalent of lou Garritt going I
got what, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
You know what did I have you know. I loved
that interview. I loved that interview so much. We'll close
the segment with Doug Stanhope, who also loved Ralphie May
as I did, talking about him at Houston water Park.
We went to a water park with Ralphie May. If
(27:04):
you don't know him, he's a.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Rotund person of over several thousand pounds.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Look him up and get us the record. He has
neighbor Dave on his vision board. One day, maybe I
could be that petite.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
And there's this giant water slide in Houston Tube thing
and you have to climb six stories of stairs to
get and Ralphie May.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Get to the top. They won't let him on the
ride because he's.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Obviously too fat, but they should have to sign down
at the first level, so they made him to walk
the shame back down
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Zero
Was that what I Lisa taking Michael Berry. She's a
great voice. I'm not trying to creep you out. Why
does everybody think everything is sexual? Or may be worse?
Have I reached the point where I don't think everything
is sexual? Which makes me old? It's crazy because so
(00:21):
I said, I posted a little story about my buddy
Toby Shults and that, you know, we used to have
a sleepover when we were a kid, you know, when
we were in sixth, seventh, eighth grade, and I get,
you know, like five emails from people going, that's gay,
that's gay. We were in sixth grade and we rode
(00:43):
our bikes over to the other one's house because our
parents but we grew up in a Southern Baptist home
and neither one of us, neither one of our parents
would allow us to go out to any other heathen
houses where the people drank. That's not gay, good grief.
We'd we'd stay up and watch Benny Hill. Now that
might have been, but I mean, my point is it's
(01:03):
kind of tiresome. Actually if you everything you say. You know,
I said something about my knees the other day and
someone that's my niche, you creep what a weird thing
to do anyway, That was meant to start off as
a very positive segment and say say thank you to
somebody today. Tell somebody you love them, that you work with,
(01:24):
that that did something for you. Thank somebody for just
being great at what they do if they work for you,
with you, or are your boss. All right, let's get started.
I always cut it short, and I don't want to
do that because that's not fair to Chad A. Coney Knakanishi,
the greatest executive producer in all the Land. Courtesy of
Chad A. Coney Knockanishi, the greatest executive producer in all
(01:46):
the Land. It is your week in Reviews. I think
it was written by an obstetrician. Ah push it oo
baby baby baby baby. Ooh baby baby, but baby baby
hit up on this. I could see the musical influence
(02:18):
Hong Kong. You know, I think we have fun. You guys,
there were grown men sitting in a downtown New York
office building creating stuff like that for kids.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
A road rage fight in the heart of Magnolia, and
it happened right in front of the Montgomery County Sheriff.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Sheriff Wesley Doolittle was driving to an event when suddenly
he came up on a dangerous scene. Do little breaking
up a road rage incident as a driver involved was
brandishing a gun.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I actually asked a guy, I said, please, do not
make me.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
She did to see a sheriff take somebody down his
own dang cell. Yeah, that's that's Wesley. Do a lot ramon,
not do little? Am I right?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Police say she tried to impersonate an Ice age just
so that she could get revenge on her ex boyfriend.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
Battle showed up at the victim's job, identifying herself as
an ICE agent, wearing a black shirt with ICE printed
on the front, carrying a handheld radio and a sheriff's
office business card.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
We don't believe there's any other threat to the public
at this time. Now, let's talk to local law enforcement.
Should the public be concerned? No, we think this was
an isolated event. We've got it under control now.
Speaker 6 (03:25):
Trapper forced to wrangle an alligator right in the middle
of I ninety five. A reptile on the highway there
in Jacksonville, Monday.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
The barefoot trapper known.
Speaker 6 (03:33):
As the Blue Collar Brawler is up there capturing the
giant gator.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
I think to myself, you got these people, and thank
God for my highlights. Like things that I go through
a bad MF. I managed to stop buying my fingernails.
That's pretty much where I am, you know what I mean.
We don't talk enough about John Popper's harmonica playing. That
dude can blow the mouth organ.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
H side.
Speaker 7 (04:03):
As Michael Very Show continues, some.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Of you remember Rico Mastriani. Rico uh America is his
real name, but he goes by Rico and he.
Speaker 6 (04:24):
Was our.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
His He was officially listed as being security, but really
Rico was the face of the RCC. He was the
person that most people saw first when they came on property,
and they saw last when they left the property. He
would escort the little old ladies in. He would help
people out. He would he would provide security where it
was needed, and there were a few times that it
(04:49):
was uh he would he would break up if if
two people would were arguing, he would keep it from
from escalating. But he really cared about the people and
he's remained a friend of mine to this day. He's
a wonderful, wonderful guy. He's a great dad to his
two boys. He sent me a video or I guess
he posted it and I pulled it. And there's really
(05:11):
no good reason for me to play this other than
I thought it was hilarious. So he was driving to
work a month or so ago and there's a cow
on He drives down this country road somewhere out in
Beasley or Richmond area, and there's a cow that comes
up to the fence and he gets out and talks
(05:32):
to the cow. And you just got to know Rico
if you ever came to the RCC. He was a big,
big burly guy with a black go tee and he'd
usually wear sunglasses and he'd wear a duster. Everyone knew
him by his duster, his black duster, usually in boots
and black hat. You couldn't miss Rico. Everybody knew Rico.
(05:53):
Manstrean Air just they knew Rico anyway. So it's it's
him getting out and talking to this cow. And the
reason I share it is it's kind of Rico in
touch with his softer side. And I think all of
us could stand to drive a country road and get
out and have a one way conversation with a cow.
(06:14):
I really do. I think it's a long horn if
I remember correctly, So not a cow longhorn. But I
think we could all stand to maybe have a conversation
with nature on more than one occasion. Probably good for
our blood pressure.
Speaker 8 (06:31):
Good morning, buddy, how you doing. I got this buddy
of mine on a radio. He likes to talk a lot,
and he told me to give you a new name.
He said, Carmel Mel for short.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
You good with that.
Speaker 7 (06:55):
I know.
Speaker 8 (06:58):
It's not so bad of a name. Huh, you're just
chilling out again, I know, Mel. Can you say Mel?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
That's right?
Speaker 9 (07:17):
Mel, Mel.
Speaker 10 (07:27):
You have a good day, buddy.
Speaker 8 (07:31):
I'll come visit with you tomorrow. Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
You know when when when I think about how difficult
it has to be for Democrats today, I got so
much audio that we haven't we haven't even begun to
scratch the surface. There's there's audio of Elizabeth Warren telling
the Fed they got to lower the interest rate and
(07:56):
you know it has to be done, and practically threatening them.
And then when Trump does it a few days ago,
she says, or this is this is a constitutional crisis.
There there's Harry Reid saying that you know, this Fourteenth
Amendment is being being made a sham of with all
this birthright citizenship and it's it's all so horrible and
(08:18):
it needs to stop. There's all of these cases Chuck
Schumer talking about things that now he criticizes Donald Trump for.
And you know, they all loved Trump. The hilarious thing
is they all loved Trump when he was a guy
that they felt like they could use. But they're not
(08:38):
consistent on anything, and they can't be consistent. And the
important thing to understand, and this is where our folks
get confused, and it'll make you crazy, is believing that
they have any sense of principle. They want raw power
and control. They will use that to get money and
sex and other things, but it's the power they crave.
(09:02):
And until you understand that, they're gonna make you crazy
because you're gonna.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Go how can he say that?
Speaker 1 (09:08):
He says that now, But remember when they said this, Hey,
calm down, calm down. This is the crazy guy at
the bus stop. When you drive past the crazy guy
at the bus stop and your windows are down and
he says, hey, you're a cannibal and a murderer. You
don't you don't go back up and go back says
why do you say that? You go? Oh? Crazy guy
(09:31):
has words. Crazy guy has ideas. You don't think twice
about it. You have to understand that progressives, communists, Marxists, liberals,
they are all They're all the same now, b L
m A. It is all about power. They want power.
They are Hall monitor wannabes. That's why it all fits
(09:54):
in together. These seemingly disparate ideas all fit in together. Power.
That's COVID, your children not belonging to you. DEI. It's
all about power. And you can imagine. I mean, they
need a drug for this, because what are they going
to do? They can't keep it all straight.
Speaker 7 (10:12):
The following is a pay commercial announcement from far left
wing nuts. Are you tired of being confused about which
arrests are good for democracy and which are dangerous escalations?
Call the New Rules for the Justice Hotline at one
eight hundred eighty you crazy. Our highly trained political consultants
are standing by to explain arresting a former president you
(10:34):
don't like.
Speaker 6 (10:35):
Tonight, a former president is facing federal charges for the
first time in US history. Rolic arresting a judge who
Harvard's illegal aliens, Oh fascism.
Speaker 7 (10:44):
Democrats are condemning the arrest of Wisconsin judge Hannah Dugan
warning it could threaten the rule of law.
Speaker 6 (10:51):
And I think it's time in America that we finally
having proper conversation about the F word.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
No, not that one, fascism, indicting rivals, saving democracy, enforcing
immigration law.
Speaker 8 (11:05):
When you're in the country of legist violation. Eight United
States Cold thirteen twenty five.
Speaker 10 (11:09):
Speaking asylum is legal?
Speaker 8 (11:11):
Do you want to seek asylon and go through the
port of entry? Do the legal way? And of the Republic,
the Attorney General of the United States have made that
clear warning.
Speaker 7 (11:19):
Logic, consistency, and memory from five minutes ago may cause
severe allergic reactions in color long.
Speaker 6 (11:27):
So don't think, don't ask questions, just dial what eight
hundred you crazy? Today operators are standing by right next
to the piles of shredded subpoenas, burned ballots, and Hunter
Biden laptops rules for the Justice oubi because hypocrisy isn't
a budd it's the whole business model. This this is
(11:51):
the Michael Berry Show.
Speaker 10 (11:52):
Yeah, that's the one.
Speaker 7 (11:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
The Kentucky Derby is this weekend. I think our friend
Matt Bryce is having a Derby party, or as many
Englishmen say, a Derby party. Hold On, I wrote down
some yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. They are having it at
Federal American Grill at the Hedwig Village location, which is
(12:19):
itinan Campbell and the Woodlands location, and Katie not at
the downtown and but anyway, they do prizes. You know,
the girls love to dress up. Heck, I think some
of the guys let like to dress up too. It's
such a silly, ridiculous, absurdist thing to do. And that's
the fun of it, isn't it. I mean, really it is.
You know, drink Mitt Julips. Mit jellips are kind of
(12:41):
one of those things that you only you only drink
at this time and and I don't know, I think
the whole thing is funny and fun I got no
problem with anyway. It snuck up on me this here.
It's in between Easter and Mother's Day. You got baseball season,
you got basketball playoffs, and you got football coming in
the fall and all that. You know, you just had
the draft, and that takes your time, and the politics.
(13:03):
He's twenty four to seven for me right now. I mean,
it's it's really more of an event than a sport.
You're right. Okayan makes a good point. The most famous
horse race of all time, or not horse race? The
most famous what I say racehorse has to be Secretariat,
right the Michael Jordan the horse racing Sea Biscuit would
(13:23):
be Lebron is not a fair assessment. That's that's Jim's assessment.
I don't know. Kentucky Derby is one of the oldest
traditions on American soil. They've been racing since eighteen seventy five.
They've never canceled, which is pretty cool. They moved it
(13:44):
to the fall during COVID, but they did not cancel.
By the way, Ramon, have you ever had a mint Julip?
Never have had a mint jewelup? Terrible? They could either
cause or kill malaria. I can't remember swine flew cancer
A just one swaller. Yeah, there's nothing. It's they're not
(14:05):
They sound so good a mint jew and I like mint.
Here we are in the Bourbon country and somebody thought, hey,
let's poison the tourists by adding a bunch of sugar
and mint to our perfectly fine bourbon. Why would you
do that? You're trying to girlify it. Our buddy Matt
Brice at Federal American Girl would at least do it right.
(14:28):
But he does that smoking gun, old fashioned table side.
You ever had that with the smoke and the box
and all we used to do at the RCC. That's
that's cool. I mean, that's that's that is cool right there,
The fastest horse in Derby history, Secretariat goes from a
head in front on the backstretch and pulls away by
(14:49):
two lengths at the finish. This morning we were looking
at we were watching the footage, so I guess you
if you haven't seen the footage, wouldn't make sense. But
the first leg of the triple Crown in a track
record that's still stands at one fifty nine point four
to oh.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Angle light in fifth. The Secretariat has made a sudden
move and is now six. Then it's restless jet our
native beginning to move up, Navajo four go and Warbucks
beginning to move up, followed by my gallant and twice
a Prince. They're into the turn and bunching for the leader,
with Shecky Green still the leader by half a length
(15:27):
on the outside and challenging his sham and he's.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Now got a head in front.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
Now Shecky Green responds to the challenge in those two
are heads apart. Royal and Regal is third and holding
on gold Bag drops back. Secretariat is fourth and moving
up on the outside and is now third and moving
at the leaders as they come for the head of
the stretch. They're at the head of the stretch and
Cham is the leader. He leaves it by a length.
Secretariat is in the center of the racetrack and driving.
(15:52):
Checky Green now drops back, coming on of it is
forgo our native on the outside now and they're in
the stretch. It's sex Secretariatcretariat on the outside to take
the lead. Sham holding in second. It's Secretariat moving away.
He has it might two and a half Sham not
on the outside. Our need is at the wire, explaing
to be Secretariat.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
He wins it by two lengths.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
Jam a second, our native third.
Speaker 9 (16:15):
By an act.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
More goings forth restless Jennis him and it looked like
Navaho might have gotten enough for six the big horse,
the six million dollar syndication. Secretariat responding to what they
asked today, was he the real horse? Or was he not?
And you saw it.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
I find it interesting to learn about things that other
people are into. You know, some people they're really into something.
They want to kind of show off, and if you
if I so much as mentioned it, they'll want to
correct me to show how smart they are. You don't
need to do that. I don't claim to be an expert.
I had a hell of a good time with Mattress
Mac a couple of years ago. President Trump came in
our suite, Jordan Peterson came in our suite, and you know,
(16:55):
Mac puts the biggest bet down every year. So you're
followed the whole day by NBC, which is fine, and
you need to pick your nose and you gotta kind
of slip off. And Secretariat would go on to set
track records at Preakness and then Belmont, where the stallion
won the Triple Crown by an incredible thirty one links. Officially,
the announcer says twenty five links in the audio, but
(17:16):
it has been said that it was in fact thirty
one links. Becoming the greatest racehorse of all time, that's
something that is uh. The slowest winning time was a
horse by the name of Kingman in eighteen ninety one
(17:38):
at two point fifty two twenty five. I guess that
was before we discovered steroids. We started juicing them with
the steroids. In related news, Elmer's Glue was founded two
months later. Too soon, Too soon, took you a second,
didn't it? In twenty fifteen, ten years ago. The largest
(18:03):
crowd on Derby day one hundred seventy five hundred and thirteen.
The last triple crown winner was seven years ago. The
horse's name was Some folks out there will know we
got some horse racing fans. I know we do. I
know for a fact. Justify which I have a problem.
We don't need triple crown winners all the time anyway.
(18:25):
So I went to the Kentucky Derby a couple of
years ago, and Eddie Martini's brother, father Lee Martini, is
the priest for that diocese. I guess he's the priest
of the church. The church was built in eighteen seventy,
completed in eighteen seventy. And you think about this, That
(18:46):
means they had to start building that thing right after
the Civil War in Kentucky, which was ravaged. It's one
of the most beautiful churches I've ever been in, and
I've been in every major If Sir Christopher Wren designed it.
If it's in London, Paris, Italy, I've been there, and
(19:06):
I'm gonna tell you something. This little church right there
in Louisville is one of the most beautiful churches. But anyway,
Father Lee Martinian and I and my wife and Mattress
Mac spent the day together. Mattress Mac is a very,
very devout Catholic, so he loved having the priest with us.
But the coolest thing, the funniest thing was Father Lee
obviously wore his you know, the whole get up, his
(19:28):
his his robes, and people would come up and ask
him to pick their numbers, and people would give him.
They would buy a ticket and give him one, and
he would say, I can't keep it, but if this
ticket wins, it will be handed over. He doesn't accept money,
he doesn't spend money, he doesn't use me. He retired
from the militaries in the navy, uh and he gave
(19:51):
he had all of his retirement sent to his parents.
He took a vow of penury. It's pretty pretty amazing story, really,
Father Lee Eddie's brother.
Speaker 10 (19:59):
He was in.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Africa at a on a mission there, and Eddie sent
a lot of money over and everybody knew Father Leed did,
and they they founded all these schools and and all
these things. But it's it's someone that has devoted their
their life to uh sacrifice and service, and it's a
pretty cool deal. And people coming up nobody made jokes,
(20:23):
Nobody you know, made priest jokes or whatever. They knew
this wasn't a guy masquerading. People came up and were
so respectful and and so tender toward him about what
he does and how much that means to them. And
I took I took that away from the experience as
much as anything else. Of course, Mac was in four
(20:43):
million bucks kind of stuff to Michael Barry show. If
he doesn't say it, who will?
Speaker 10 (20:52):
You know?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
The reason we played this got how much I liked
it run is it was on this day in twenty
eleven that Osama bin Laden was killed by the Navy
seals who went in and bravely put him down like
the dog he is. And it was done in Abadabad, Pakistan,
(21:19):
a matter of a few feet from what is the
equivalent of their west point. You think the Pakistani government
didn't know and wasn't wasn't involved, Remember Abadabad was in
the news last week.
Speaker 10 (21:31):
I determined that we had enough intelligence to take action
and authorized an operation to get Osama bin Laden in Abadabad, Pakistan,
abadabad abadabad Abadabad, Pakakistan Abadabadabad.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Who made that? Was that Bobian pocket?
Speaker 10 (22:02):
It's done. Let me be clear, Let me be clear,
Let me be clear.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
The whole thing with Ossam bin Laden reminded me of
Ralphie May talking about Osama ban You remember this.
Speaker 11 (22:18):
There's one bogey man that ain't gonna get anybody anymore,
and that's old Ben Lawdon Ben Lydden's done, got got that.
If I told you ten years ago that it would
be the Navy that got Ben Laden, you'd be like, stop,
there's no water there. Would they drop a boat on
his ass? I mean, come on, son, those Navy seals, boy,
(22:41):
they handled their business. Jack got him, killed his ass,
then they threw him in the ocean like a decepticon.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Let me ask you a question.
Speaker 11 (22:52):
Okay, these Navy seals that did their job expeditiously, that
are amazing individuals. Would you feel and look at your hearts,
would you feel any different about those men on Steal
Team six who brought bin Laden to justice if you
found out that they had slept with a couple of
dudes in their life before. Hell no, right, it'd be
(23:13):
like you're a hero, right, Hell yeah, Give that boy
some ribbons. I know they love ribbons. Get him a
baby blue ribon to go around his neck. Oh better yet,
let's have a parade. Let's have a parade. Have be awesome.
I know we just repealed don't ask, don't tell, but
(23:34):
people still have a problem with it. You could be anything,
but if you want to raise your hand and serve
this country, you can't do it.
Speaker 9 (23:40):
You can't protect your family. Nope, nope, nope, because you
sleep with the wrong people.
Speaker 11 (23:44):
All right, that's what we were saying, like really, like
you're afraid you're not gonna be able to shoot without
junk hitting them in the head.
Speaker 9 (23:53):
Stop stop, yes, I am trying to be a sniper. Okay,
now get.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
In a minute, Jesus.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
My last interview with Ralphie May before he died, he
was so young. There were a couple of moments that
that I really enjoyed, and one of them was when
he found out that Snoop and Henry Winkler the Fawns
were fans of his. So the question was the guy
that you were a big fan of? And then the
moment you realize that they want to meet you and
(24:29):
they're a fan of you.
Speaker 9 (24:31):
That was I have two. I have two that I
had different different scopes.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Snoop Dogg.
Speaker 9 (24:40):
After a last comic standing reached out to me and
brought his whole Aunthorage to see me perform. And we've
become friends now for over the last ten years, or
actually buddies. But I was a little taken aback, you know.
I mean he's a musician, of course, and too many
(25:00):
had the career he has in his field, but also
an actor, you know, but I respect him on a
number of levels, but also the fonds you know, Henry Winkler,
Henry Winkler. That that kind of threw me back a
little bit. How did you find that out? He called me,
He reached out, found my agent and called me up
(25:26):
to do and I got to do a week he
was producing the Hollywood Squares and I got to do
a week of Hollywood Squares, which has always been a
thing I wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
How cool was that? And then I talked to him
about Henry Winkler and the old jumping the Shark. How
long do you have to know Henry Winkler until it's
not a douche move to go. All right, Hey, look,
can we talk about happy days for just a minute.
Oh he's so sweet.
Speaker 9 (25:54):
He's like one of the sweetest, nicest guys of all time.
He has zero egos, zero pretense, So you talk about it.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yeah, man, yeah, all right. I have a couple of questions.
You may have asked, does he still have the leather jacket.
Speaker 9 (26:05):
He's got Actually that one is in the Smithsonian. Is
the one that he wore?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I let the white T shirt that's somewhere to Did
you ever use the phrase jump the shark in Henry
Winkler's presence, Yes.
Speaker 9 (26:17):
Yes, And he's like, you know, when we I thought
that the episode was a little much. I didn't know
it was going to become this cultural phenomenon.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Imagine.
Speaker 9 (26:25):
Yeah, I mean it's like he imagine. It's like it's like,
you know, Henry winkleran saying, I think this is going
a little too far, this episode where I jump a shark,
Like that's a little much. Okay. I think the only
thing we can come back we can't recover after that,
all right. Is the equivalent of lou Garritt going I
got what, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
You know what did I have you know. I loved
that interview. I loved that interview so much. We'll close
the segment with Doug Stanhope, who also loved Ralphie May
as I did, talking about him at Houston water Park.
We went to a water park with Ralphie May. If
(27:04):
you don't know him, he's a.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Rotund person of over several thousand pounds.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Look him up and get us the record. He has
neighbor Dave on his vision board. One day, maybe I
could be that petite.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
And there's this giant water slide in Houston Tube thing
and you have to climb six stories of stairs to
get and Ralphie May.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Get to the top. They won't let him on the
ride because he's.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Obviously too fat, but they should have to sign down
at the first level, so they made him to walk
the shame back down
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Zero
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