Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
One of the highlights of every week for me is
coming into the station on Friday mornings now the studio
because we don't work out of the station anymore, and
listening to Chad's week in review. He sends it to
me early, and usually I will listen to it before
I get to the studio because the first time I
(00:22):
hear it is sort of I don't catch everything. And
then the second time because the first time I'm thinking,
I wonder what the song is going to be at
the end because he always fades to a song, there's
always a tale of a song. And then the second
time I can really focus on it. So since we
have a bigger production team this year, I suggested maybe
(00:43):
share some of our weekend review shows that Chad labors
to curate for you, and you see if you can
remember what week that would have been, and by that,
don't worry too much about the details, just hey, that
would have been early March or late March, or early
(01:05):
July or late July. So you know, I don't expect
you to say March thirteenth, but if you do, know
because you recognize something that happened on a date that
you recognize because that was your birthday or your wedding anniversary,
or for whatever odd reason you remember that when you
email me, tell me that and tell me why you
remember it, and my email address as always Michael at
(01:28):
Michael Berryshow dot com. Or you can just go to
our website where you can buy all our merch Michael
Berryshow dot com. All right, so with that we will
be in kind of the end of year mentality and mood.
We will be sharing some of those, and I'd love
to hear from you if you remember when that would
have been my Friday drive in and I go wonder
what Chad's gonna put in the weird we can review.
(01:50):
I wonder if I wonder what he's going to find
in the week that I.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Have forgotten about. Did you say, believe me what.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
You're going to do? I think I could stay for
a whole maybe longer if I do.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Did Is that what you said? Next? No, you don't
think well, I make a joyful noise to the Lord Bobby.
I am a conservative Plesbian that has voted for Trump.
Then he first went into office.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
After Bobby called in, I got three emails in less
than five minutes asking for her number one. Am I
running some lesbian dating site here, Payley.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Hey, I'm a conservative lesbian. I'm voting for Trump.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I am overwhelmed with lesbians for Trump.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Long lines of people forming to cast their vote on
election day here in America, a day that many people
are calling the most consequential election in decades.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
Brian Alan Lickman from American University predicted nine or the
last ten elections correctly, and he has a prediction who
will win.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
The Oval office in twenty twenty four. Kamala Harris will
be a new path breaking president, the first woman president.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
So the Box News Decision Desk can now officially project
that Donald Trump will become the forty seventh president of
the United States.
Speaker 7 (03:10):
Making a political comeback unlike any in modern American politics.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
This election something of an indictment of the political information complex.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I mean, we've been sitting around here for.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
The last couple of weeks and the story that was
portrayed was not true.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
I mean, we were told Puerto Rico it was.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Going to change the election. Liz Cheney, Nicky.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
Hayley, voter America has give it us an unprecedented and
powerful mandate.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
The globalists lost, the people won.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
There's so many different ways you can slice this. There's
so many different ways you can look at this.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Recently, Elon Musk posted a meme and I took a
screenshot of that, and I keep looking at it, and
I keep thinking about it. He didn't make it, someone
else did. He saw it. It really doesn't matter who
made it. The power of the idea.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Listen to this.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Imagine a vaccine so safe you have to be threatened
to take it for a disease so deadly you have
to be tested.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
To know you have it.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Let's deconstruct that. Imagine a vaccine.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
So safe.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
First of all, it takes years to develop a vaccine.
This one was called Operation Warp Speed. Why because we
were all gonna die. But as it turns out, we
weren't all gonna die. It wasn't any more deadly than
the common flu. And in order to get the numbers
(04:56):
they needed, they had to count the flu.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Covid.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
They had to count all sorts of deaths that were
not COVID related, but people who tested positive. Technically, George
Floyd died of COVID because he had COVID when he
died of an overdose. Imagine a vaccine so safe you
have to be threatened to take it. I didn't take it,
(05:24):
and I've never regretted that choice. For a moment, vivek
Ramaswami talks about the fact that he took it and
he greatly regrets it. Megan Kelly did an entire podcast
on the fact that she developed an autoimmune disorder after
taking it. If you're afraid to learn more because this
(05:47):
sounds like conspiracy talk, I get it. But knowledge should
be something you're constantly in acquisition of, right at least
hear the perspectives. Why did people have to be blocked
from stating this. Imagine a vaccine so safe you have
to be threatened to take it. Why did nurses get
(06:08):
fired for refusing to take it? Oh, because they were
going to get it and then spread it. What Joe
Biden told you you would get it, and you would.
You couldn't get it, you couldn't spread it. Both turned
out to be lies. So what was the vaccine in
the first place? For a disease so deadly you have
to be tested to know you have it. Everybody has
(06:30):
had COVID at least once. You just may not have
known when you had it. But it was terribly important
that you be horrified of getting COVID. Terribly important that
you be scared of getting COVID, because if you weren't
sufficiently scared, you wouldn't take leave of your senses. You
(06:52):
wouldn't be willing to shred the constitution. You wouldn't wish
evil on people who refuse to get this show. You
wouldn't want to take away people's right to make decisions
for their own body. Imagine a vaccine so safe you
have to be threatened to take it, for a disease
so deadly you have to be tested to know you
(07:16):
have it. This goes back to nineteen eighty five. It's
an episode of Phil Donahue on vaccine injuries. Wouldn't it
be interesting? This is about the National Childhood Vaccine Injury
Act nineteen eighty six, which created the National Vaccine Injury
Compensation Program. This was back when people could speak openly
(07:38):
and honestly about science and things like vaccines.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
It's just that I think the public needs to be informed.
We need to be told the benefits versus the risk.
We need to know what we're facing you the darctor's
side of.
Speaker 8 (07:51):
A polio vaccine, and what nobody knows is that Jonah Salk.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Has pointed out that in the last ten years in
this country, two thirds of all the cases of polio.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
Open vaccine induced. How many motors is one and only?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
And on the case that, Bob, would you.
Speaker 5 (08:06):
Not interrupt me for a second?
Speaker 4 (08:08):
I know that I know that doctors are used to
interrupting patients, but.
Speaker 8 (08:11):
Not another doctor, I think, But let's get he does
make a point that we should also say save in
his live and live.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
Vaccine, and sok is is inactive, inactive, as we say
in the laboratory. All right, how many was it? They ask?
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Well, how many people know that the European epidemic of
polio there were about twenty or thirty cases in this country. Now,
of course, the American doctors will argue that the reason
why polio.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Disappeared in this country was because of.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
The vaccine, But then why did it disappear in Europe
in the nineteen forties in the nineteen fifties without mass vaccination?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
But I doesn't it occur in the third world where
only ten percent of.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
The people have ever been in unized against polio?
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Lady for else.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
So in other words, we may be fighting a tiger
that have died quite correct. I asked the people in
Great Britain, ask the people in Japan. Who I'm back here, gentlemen,
if you please, I've got probably the smartest audience we've
ever had. I have a question how long a delayed action?
If any?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Would you connect this with like MS, MS a possibility?
Speaker 5 (09:25):
It would multiple sclerosis be one of the possible result.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
As a matter of fact, there's a new publication that
just came off from John Hoffman, the closest sociate of
Tony Morris's, that gives the references linking MS in later
life to the early introduction of live virus vaccines like
measles and like some of the others that are live viruses.
At the present time.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
Would I would At the present.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Time, I would recommend that anybody who has MS, or
amiotrophi lateral sclerosis, or any of those degenerative neurologic conditions
of way the life carefully review their vaccine histories.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
I would also like to comment to that, because in
connection with my case, I've been doing some reason.
Speaker 5 (10:08):
Let me tell them once again, miss Gundi, but you're
a on Beret victim contracted following the following your receipt
of the swine flu vaccination.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
I am in the process of writing a book about
my experience, and in the process I've done considerable research,
and from what I have learned, it looks as if
immizations frequently cause autoimmune diseases, not only he On Gray syndrome,
but lucas lumatorid arth midas, multiple sclerosis, and other types
of things.
Speaker 9 (10:36):
Now I have no data at this point, we should
also we should also say that there's a good deal
of evidence suggesting that multiple sclerosis may be the result
of distemper in an animal that the victim received during childhood.
Speaker 5 (10:48):
Now, none of this is absolutely nailed to the wall,
but that's the problem with is house. What's a mother
to do with all of these balls in the air
and nobody really.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
I would just like to also comment that we had
forty six million people a vaccinator with the swine flue shot,
and I have written to Ralph Nader's organization. I have
written to some of the government organizations trying to get
them to do a survey, a ongoing survey to see
if these vaccinations do cause all the immune diseases or
what the reactions are. I can't even get a response
(11:21):
because I'm not a doctor.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
I have no cloud. I'm a nobody. Missus Ray, why
were you shaking your head? Bill?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
It is no with that vaccine, it's with all vaccines.
They are not interested in the adverse reactions as a
matter of fact, that I made.
Speaker 10 (11:32):
I'd like to invite anyone to write to me if
they'd had an adverse reaction.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
I'd like to help the government because they don't want
to know what I would like.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
To know that.
Speaker 10 (11:40):
I am a mother of three children, and I have
been informed, and I've read up on these things, and
I chose not to vaccinate my children. But when they
get to school, why is it that I have to
fight for my rights as a mother and a choice?
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Ife may me just quickly we're along, But that's a
very important question. Here are the states in which you
either have the totally free decision about whether or not
to vaccinate, or there's we're calling them loophole state, states
where they're not going to send your child to solitary
if you don't have his character.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Are all right, California?
Speaker 5 (12:15):
Not all children must be immunized in these states. Some
require religious reasons. Some places there is a bureaucratic commahammer
you have to go through to prove that you're this
or that and others. It's probably easier. So just for
the sake of simplifying this, Colorado, Idaho, Indiana, Ioa, Louisiana,
Main Michigan, Minnesota and Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania,
(12:36):
Rhode Island, Utah, Vermont, Washington, and Wisconsin. If your state
is not on there, it means that your child is
going to be left at the kindergarten door feeling very
very much an outcast because he didn't get his communization shots.
Speaker 10 (12:50):
And we'll be back in a month.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I looked at him, and they looked at me, you know,
and I just looked at her, and I have to
just get yourself and get it out to Michael Ery's
over and got a newspaper and I wrote it up.
Speaker 11 (13:00):
I slapped him on the nose.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I was sitting down on the back patio and joining
a cigar this past weekend when I went down one
of those rabbit holes I sometimes go down where I
started appreciating the music or humor or speeches or whatever
else of a particular person. And I went down to
(13:25):
Larry the Cable Guy rabbit Hole, and that's when I
noticed something. Part of Larry the Cable Guy's appeal is
that he talks about things that everyone can identify with.
Larry the Cable Guy has a lot of jokes that
involve shopping at Walmart.
Speaker 7 (13:45):
Here's my impression of the hiring practices at Walmart. Let
me ask you this, You ever cared about anything in
your entire life?
Speaker 5 (14:02):
No?
Speaker 7 (14:02):
All right, you start Tuesday. All right, we'll put you
in a DVD department. My wife won't go to Walmart.
She's trying to find the cheapest mop she could get
for something she's doing. So we go to Walmart, get
a mop, four dollars ninety five cent, go up there
to pay for the mop, and the lady goes, you
(14:23):
want to buy the protection on nest? You know what,
I think We're gonna risk it this time. All right,
got a ninety five chance. We're gonna throw that away
when we're done with it. Anyway, at our super Walmart,
you can get your haircut. They got everything. My buddy
(14:45):
got his haircut at Walmart. Twenty dollars per haircut, actually
five dollars for a haircut, fifteen dollars for the hat
you gotta wear.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Next three wait, got a doctor's.
Speaker 7 (15:01):
Office up at the Walmart. Holy smokes, people going in there.
I was there the day they gave a guy three
months to live in there, and he ended up getting
hired as a door greeterer once he.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
Walked out that door.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I had to go get a flu shot one time.
Speaker 7 (15:22):
I didn't want to go to doctor, and my wife goes,
we'll shoot. Run up to Walmart. They're giving flu shots.
Are you kidding me? I ain't getting the flu shot
at Walmart?
Speaker 2 (15:31):
That gone normally.
Speaker 7 (15:32):
I gotta get vaccinated before I go in there. Hit
a flu shot at Walmart. The flu's the last thing
I'm worried about at Walmart had gone. They probably got
a bowler behind a box in there somewhere.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I didn't know how.
Speaker 7 (15:48):
I was up there one time, made as a dude
out front in a hazmat suit. I'm like, is it
safe to go in there?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
He goes, yeah, Why I go? You in a halz
mast suit?
Speaker 1 (15:59):
He goes, I know here.
Speaker 12 (16:00):
I'm collecting the carts.
Speaker 7 (16:06):
I mean, I love shopping to Walmart, but that gum
that's like a meth maker's paradise, isn't there, ain't it?
Walmart's the only store in the world you can go
and see somebody buying sixteen bucks of of cough syrup
and some garden hose. Nobody thinks that's weird. You ever
(16:29):
shot at Walmart after midnight? Holy smokes fool? They out
to charge a cover charge in there after midnight?
Speaker 2 (16:36):
That gum.
Speaker 7 (16:37):
It's like a casting call for Ripley's, believe it or not.
In that way, if you've never been to the circus,
go to Walmart after midnight, You're bound to see a
couple of bearded women, a toothless wonder, and the fattest
man in the world on a scooter up there.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
I could listen to Larry the Cable guy all day long.
I love his stuff, but I had to limit how
many jokes we would share with you because it would
take over the entire show. But the next one some
embarrassing moments that Larry has had at the Walmart.
Speaker 13 (17:11):
Way, did you ever say something to somebody at the
Walmart and didn't after you said to your thought, shouldn't
have said that. I do that every trip in there.
Speaker 7 (17:21):
But here's this fella standing in the line there evidently
busted his neck had one of them halo's here. See
that looked like scaffold around the head. It's bolted into
your temples. Would this dude go like it?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I go, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 13 (17:39):
He goes, think I lost my car key? I said,
you lose your head of ward and screwed on?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Or was that wrong that?
Speaker 13 (17:55):
I was really laughing after I said that.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I gotta tag you.
Speaker 13 (18:00):
Oh, this is embarrassing. I was bagging on groceries at
the grocery store the other day because it was busy,
and some old woman come up and patted me on
the head and said, I think it's wonderful they hire.
Speaker 7 (18:13):
People like you.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
And finally, one of my favorites because it's always a
funny subject.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Midgets.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
They're the cable guy tells the story about the time
that he hit a midget with his cart.
Speaker 12 (18:27):
I was shopping up at the Walmart day.
Speaker 7 (18:29):
This is a true story.
Speaker 12 (18:30):
I wasn't paying attention and I'm shopping at the Walmart
and I'm looking this way and I'm like, what did
I know?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I hit something?
Speaker 12 (18:38):
I'm like, Oh, what the hell have I got to
pay for?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Now?
Speaker 7 (18:41):
This is going to run me tens of dollars and.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
I look down.
Speaker 12 (18:47):
I'm not kidding. I hit a midget. I felt bad,
I really did. I'm like, oh my heavens, are you Okay?
He goes, I'm not happy. I go, well, which one
are you? If you don't think that's funny, you're getting
the hell out of here right now.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
All right, that's a good.
Speaker 12 (19:09):
Joke right there.
Speaker 7 (19:10):
I don't care who you are.
Speaker 12 (19:13):
And I can do them jokes because I got a
couple of madget friends that I tell them jokes to
and they okay, am I running them jokes? Mind? Some
of them go over their heads, but a lot of
them they like, we're.
Speaker 7 (19:23):
Gonna add a little bit about these whorehouses I know
all about.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Ramon wants to know what around the world is.
Speaker 11 (19:28):
Whistling bungholes, spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey riders, hooskerdoos hoosker
don'ts nips and dazers with without the scooter stick or
one single whistling kiddy chaser.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Michael Matt Mitchell is an actor and a producer from Gaston, Alabama.
And I discovered him online a few months ago, and
I posted a couple of funny things that he did,
and a number of you reached out from Alabama in
(20:00):
Louisiana and Florida and Texas that you knew who he
was and you really like him, and you were excited
that I had found him, which made me think, well,
why didn't you tell me about him in the first place?
Because he's my kind of humor. So he'll do these bits,
and you know, there's no reason for me to overexplain it.
(20:22):
He's got a great bit that I really like, entitled
sentences never before heard in the South, bless my heart.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Well, thank you. Oh it's humid. Oh well, I haven't
noticed it. Here's what I'm thinking this year. Let's try
vacation in somewhere other than Gatlinburg. You just moved here
from California. Wow. Yeah, that's awesome. We're so glad you're here.
You should bring more people over. Well, you bought your
sweet tea from the non refrigerated section of the grocery
store and it has an expiration date seven years away. Yes,
(20:51):
that's the good stuff right there. I love to drive
on ice. Actually, I'm pretty good at it. I've got
lots of experience. That is, if they don't treat the
roads first, because they definitely do that around here. You're
looking for what the closest church. Yeah, we don't have
any of those. Technically. Yeah, you could wrap it in
bacon in a deep fried, but that's a bit much.
Don't you think nobody around here is gonna eat that.
We all care deeply about our cholesterol levels. Hold on,
(21:13):
I want to say, hey, kids, Yeah, don't worry about
shutting that door. Just leave it wide open. We can
let the air conditioning pour on outside. I love just
cooling off the whole neighborhood, just doing my part. My
me ma makes the best bagels. Hey, let's go get
Mexican today. I'm thinking I'm gonna get something other than
chicken and rice. Oh a koozy, Oh this thing? Oh
I only have one of these in my house. Oh
they need more. I can only drink one of a die.
(21:35):
Biscuits and gravy. Oh it's okay, but have you ever
had a bagel with some locks? That's the new biscuits
and gravy. Right there, go, Buckeyes. Hey, your cousins are leaving,
Go tell them by, only tell them by, Do not
walk them to their vehicle and talk to them for
another hour. No need to extend it. You know what
we need around here, like eight more dollar generals. Oh,
they're opening it up a Chick fil A. Nobody's gonna
(21:57):
eat there. They're definitely not gonna line up to the
highway to get some or camp out a week in
advance for a free chicken sandwich. Absolutely not. We're all
very rational about chicken down here.
Speaker 8 (22:05):
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
We live way too far away from the beach for
you to be putting a Salt Life sticker on your car.
Doesn't make a lick of sense. One plate of food
is enough.
Speaker 12 (22:13):
You know that.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Meh Ma hates it when we get seconds. I'm sorry.
I don't have any duct tape or WT forty or
a pocket knife or three random cinder blocks laying around.
I watched the best movie the other day? What was
oh conn Air? Yeah? Nick Cage's Southern accent was just perfect.
I mean, I'll tell you what, Hollywood never gets it wrong.
Let me get this straight. You're looking for a leopard
print shirt that looks like it has a giant bleach
(22:36):
stain and says incursive, less stressed and sec football obsessed.
I don't think that we have that around here. We
definitely don't have two dozen boutique shops selling that exame
exact shirt. Dolly who par don par Ton? No, I
have never heard of her. I only have the worst
taste in music. Are you sure that's a barbecue restaurant?
Because the building seems really small and kind of dingy.
(22:58):
Even if it is, there's no the food is good.
I just I don't trust that. Oh politics, No, I
really don't have a strong opinion, you know either way. Yeah,
you could do a yard sale, but it's way easier
to sell on Facebook marketplace. Down here, everybody's super reasonable.
They definitely don't ask you to hold things and then
never come get it. You think I'm some kind of idiot. No,
when I hear that tornado siren, I go straight to
(23:20):
the bathtub, no questions asked. I definitely don't go out
in the front yard and start looking for it. I mean,
what am I gonna do? Just stare at it, you know,
try to film it real shaky, cussing the whole time. Okay,
would that do?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Now that you've heard that, take a listen to the
ten things that Matt Mitchell has learned about Houston.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
He's pretty on point with this. Here are ten things
I learned from my first trip to Houston, Texas. Number One,
Houston is entirely too large. I'm not just talking about population,
but also in like land that it consumes. Someone recently
made a map that showed the state of Connecticut fits
within Houston, and that I'm sure is a very helpful
(23:58):
reference to the three people that have been to Connecticut.
It's just big. Number two, and this is a fun fact.
Houston is about fifty miles from the Gulf Coast and
approximately three miles from the sun. It is hot, and
I'm from Alabama, where it feels like you're just getting
smothered by a hot, wet blanket when you step outside.
Texas is just like that. But the blanket is on fire.
(24:20):
You're on fire, and everything is on fire, and it's
not good. Number three, and appropriately, there is a Houston
trinity that must be respected at all times. That trinity
is of course, made up of Mattress, Mac, the Texas Hammer,
and the dude that operates the train admit a may Park.
I don't know what his name is, but they freaking
love that Holly does is move the train forwards and
backwards like twenty feet. Number four, if they can make
(24:43):
it into the shape of Texas, you bet your sweet
potuity that's exactly what they're gonna do. They've got swimming pools, crackers,
chicken nuggets, all of it shaped like Texas and they
call it the Texagon, which is actually kind of genius.
Number five, and this one was kind of a shock
to me. The traffic in Houston was not that bad.
Actually quite the opposite. It moves very fast. I only
(25:04):
got stuck in traffic one time, and even then it
was in the standstill. Reality is everybody is driving like
they're getting chased by the Texas Rangers. And I don't
mean the baseball team. I mean like Chuck Norris out
to kill you and they got to get away from
him the immediately. Number six, and it's somewhat related, is
the service roads, or at least that's what we call
them in Alabama, talking about those like two or three
lane roads that run parallel to the interstate that make
(25:26):
it easier for you to turn in and out of
businesses and get the places. But that's not the case
of Houston.
Speaker 5 (25:30):
Now.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
They're like little interstates where sometimes you go faster than
the actual interstate, So you could just be pulling out
of a Chili's and you'll die. See if the Texas
slow down. Okay, I know it's a big state. You
got a lot of ground to cover, but yin' got
go that fast. And Number seven, the Papa's brothers owned
like half the restaurants in the city. They got steakhouses,
Papa does, Papa's Barbecue, Papas Burgers, Papasitos. No one apparently
(25:56):
told either pap up brother that you can just put
all of that onto one menu and call it cheesecake factory.
They're everywhere. Number eight and maybe the greatest thing about Houston,
even though it is technically not in Houston, is the
city's proximity to Brintle, Texas. That's the birthplace of Blue Beelt,
the greatest gift that Texas has ever given the world.
(26:17):
There's a creamery there, you can take a tour of it.
And there's a scoop shop with flavors that you can't
get anywhere else, and every scoop is a dollar and
it is heaven. Heaven is in Texas, even though it
fills like the seventh layer of health. Number nine, not
all hbs are created equal. Some are good and others
(26:38):
are great. Every time I told somebody that I was
in Houston and I was going to go to an
ATV for the first time, they always asked me which
one are you going to? Which I didn't understand. They
were all amazing. What I am more curious about is
how do y'all not have so many dollar generals? I
couldn't find hardly any. Is that because where Houston garden
centers are taking up half the city? That's what I
(27:01):
want to know, because we can't stop allargand on here.
Number ten And this is kind of more of a
question to Houston because by now everybody has probably heard
of BUCkies. If you haven't just imagined a bass pro
shop that sells gas or it's a gas pro shop.
But there's also miniature buckets that they haven't been telling
us about. It's just like a you know, a normal
(27:22):
sized gas station, but it's a buckets and I didn't
even know that existed. Why haven't y'all been telling us
about that? It sounds amazing. Why would you have that
information for us? In conclusion, Houston is a pretty cool
city to visit, and by cool, I mean it is
at least one thousand degrees year round. And by city,
of course, I mean it's the size of a small
European country. It is massive. It's like someone just took
(27:44):
the same square mile of Shipley's Donuts and what a
Burger and just copied and paste of the size system.
One of the highlights of every week for me is
coming into the station on Friday mornings now the studio
because we don't work out of the station anymore, and
listening to Chad's week in review. He sends it to
me early, and usually I will listen to it before
I get to the studio because the first time I
(00:22):
hear it is sort of I don't catch everything. And
then the second time because the first time I'm thinking,
I wonder what the song is going to be at
the end because he always fades to a song, there's
always a tale of a song. And then the second
time I can really focus on it. So since we
have a bigger production team this year, I suggested maybe
(00:43):
share some of our weekend review shows that Chad labors
to curate for you, and you see if you can
remember what week that would have been, and by that,
don't worry too much about the details, just hey, that
would have been early March or late March, or early
(01:05):
July or late July. So you know, I don't expect
you to say March thirteenth, but if you do, know
because you recognize something that happened on a date that
you recognize because that was your birthday or your wedding anniversary,
or for whatever odd reason you remember that when you
email me, tell me that and tell me why you
remember it, and my email address as always Michael at
(01:28):
Michael Berryshow dot com. Or you can just go to
our website where you can buy all our merch Michael
Berryshow dot com. All right, so with that we will
be in kind of the end of year mentality and mood.
We will be sharing some of those, and I'd love
to hear from you if you remember when that would
have been my Friday drive in and I go wonder
what Chad's gonna put in the weird we can review.
(01:50):
I wonder if I wonder what he's going to find
in the week that I.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Have forgotten about. Did you say, believe me what.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
You're going to do? I think I could stay for
a whole maybe longer if I do.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Did Is that what you said? Next? No, you don't
think well, I make a joyful noise to the Lord Bobby.
I am a conservative Plesbian that has voted for Trump.
Then he first went into office.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
After Bobby called in, I got three emails in less
than five minutes asking for her number one. Am I
running some lesbian dating site here, Payley.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Hey, I'm a conservative lesbian. I'm voting for Trump.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I am overwhelmed with lesbians for Trump.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Long lines of people forming to cast their vote on
election day here in America, a day that many people
are calling the most consequential election in decades.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
Brian Alan Lickman from American University predicted nine or the
last ten elections correctly, and he has a prediction who
will win.
Speaker 5 (02:53):
The Oval office in twenty twenty four. Kamala Harris will
be a new path breaking president, the first woman president.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
So the Box News Decision Desk can now officially project
that Donald Trump will become the forty seventh president of
the United States.
Speaker 7 (03:10):
Making a political comeback unlike any in modern American politics.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
This election something of an indictment of the political information complex.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I mean, we've been sitting around here for.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
The last couple of weeks and the story that was
portrayed was not true.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
I mean, we were told Puerto Rico it was.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Going to change the election. Liz Cheney, Nicky.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
Hayley, voter America has give it us an unprecedented and
powerful mandate.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
The globalists lost, the people won.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
There's so many different ways you can slice this. There's
so many different ways you can look at this.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Recently, Elon Musk posted a meme and I took a
screenshot of that, and I keep looking at it, and
I keep thinking about it. He didn't make it, someone
else did. He saw it. It really doesn't matter who
made it. The power of the idea.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Listen to this.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Imagine a vaccine so safe you have to be threatened
to take it for a disease so deadly you have
to be tested.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
To know you have it.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Let's deconstruct that. Imagine a vaccine.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
So safe.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
First of all, it takes years to develop a vaccine.
This one was called Operation Warp Speed. Why because we
were all gonna die. But as it turns out, we
weren't all gonna die. It wasn't any more deadly than
the common flu. And in order to get the numbers
(04:56):
they needed, they had to count the flu.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Covid.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
They had to count all sorts of deaths that were
not COVID related, but people who tested positive. Technically, George
Floyd died of COVID because he had COVID when he
died of an overdose. Imagine a vaccine so safe you
have to be threatened to take it. I didn't take it,
(05:24):
and I've never regretted that choice. For a moment, vivek
Ramaswami talks about the fact that he took it and
he greatly regrets it. Megan Kelly did an entire podcast
on the fact that she developed an autoimmune disorder after
taking it. If you're afraid to learn more because this
(05:47):
sounds like conspiracy talk, I get it. But knowledge should
be something you're constantly in acquisition of, right at least
hear the perspectives. Why did people have to be blocked
from stating this. Imagine a vaccine so safe you have
to be threatened to take it. Why did nurses get
(06:08):
fired for refusing to take it? Oh, because they were
going to get it and then spread it. What Joe
Biden told you you would get it, and you would.
You couldn't get it, you couldn't spread it. Both turned
out to be lies. So what was the vaccine in
the first place? For a disease so deadly you have
to be tested to know you have it. Everybody has
(06:30):
had COVID at least once. You just may not have
known when you had it. But it was terribly important
that you be horrified of getting COVID. Terribly important that
you be scared of getting COVID, because if you weren't
sufficiently scared, you wouldn't take leave of your senses. You
(06:52):
wouldn't be willing to shred the constitution. You wouldn't wish
evil on people who refuse to get this show. You
wouldn't want to take away people's right to make decisions
for their own body. Imagine a vaccine so safe you
have to be threatened to take it, for a disease
so deadly you have to be tested to know you
(07:16):
have it. This goes back to nineteen eighty five. It's
an episode of Phil Donahue on vaccine injuries. Wouldn't it
be interesting? This is about the National Childhood Vaccine Injury
Act nineteen eighty six, which created the National Vaccine Injury
Compensation Program. This was back when people could speak openly
(07:38):
and honestly about science and things like vaccines.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
It's just that I think the public needs to be informed.
We need to be told the benefits versus the risk.
We need to know what we're facing you the darctor's
side of.
Speaker 8 (07:51):
A polio vaccine, and what nobody knows is that Jonah Salk.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Has pointed out that in the last ten years in
this country, two thirds of all the cases of polio.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
Open vaccine induced. How many motors is one and only?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
And on the case that, Bob, would you.
Speaker 5 (08:06):
Not interrupt me for a second?
Speaker 4 (08:08):
I know that I know that doctors are used to
interrupting patients, but.
Speaker 8 (08:11):
Not another doctor, I think, But let's get he does
make a point that we should also say save in
his live and live.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
Vaccine, and sok is is inactive, inactive, as we say
in the laboratory. All right, how many was it? They ask?
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Well, how many people know that the European epidemic of
polio there were about twenty or thirty cases in this country. Now,
of course, the American doctors will argue that the reason
why polio.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Disappeared in this country was because of.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
The vaccine, But then why did it disappear in Europe
in the nineteen forties in the nineteen fifties without mass vaccination?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
But I doesn't it occur in the third world where
only ten percent of.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
The people have ever been in unized against polio?
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Lady for else.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
So in other words, we may be fighting a tiger
that have died quite correct. I asked the people in
Great Britain, ask the people in Japan. Who I'm back here, gentlemen,
if you please, I've got probably the smartest audience we've
ever had. I have a question how long a delayed action?
If any?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Would you connect this with like MS, MS a possibility?
Speaker 5 (09:25):
It would multiple sclerosis be one of the possible result.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
As a matter of fact, there's a new publication that
just came off from John Hoffman, the closest sociate of
Tony Morris's, that gives the references linking MS in later
life to the early introduction of live virus vaccines like
measles and like some of the others that are live viruses.
At the present time.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
Would I would At the present.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
Time, I would recommend that anybody who has MS, or
amiotrophi lateral sclerosis, or any of those degenerative neurologic conditions
of way the life carefully review their vaccine histories.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
I would also like to comment to that, because in
connection with my case, I've been doing some reason.
Speaker 5 (10:08):
Let me tell them once again, miss Gundi, but you're
a on Beret victim contracted following the following your receipt
of the swine flu vaccination.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
I am in the process of writing a book about
my experience, and in the process I've done considerable research,
and from what I have learned, it looks as if
immizations frequently cause autoimmune diseases, not only he On Gray syndrome,
but lucas lumatorid arth midas, multiple sclerosis, and other types
of things.
Speaker 9 (10:36):
Now I have no data at this point, we should
also we should also say that there's a good deal
of evidence suggesting that multiple sclerosis may be the result
of distemper in an animal that the victim received during childhood.
Speaker 5 (10:48):
Now, none of this is absolutely nailed to the wall,
but that's the problem with is house. What's a mother
to do with all of these balls in the air
and nobody really.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
I would just like to also comment that we had
forty six million people a vaccinator with the swine flue shot,
and I have written to Ralph Nader's organization. I have
written to some of the government organizations trying to get
them to do a survey, a ongoing survey to see
if these vaccinations do cause all the immune diseases or
what the reactions are. I can't even get a response
(11:21):
because I'm not a doctor.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
I have no cloud. I'm a nobody. Missus Ray, why
were you shaking your head? Bill?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
It is no with that vaccine, it's with all vaccines.
They are not interested in the adverse reactions as a
matter of fact, that I made.
Speaker 10 (11:32):
I'd like to invite anyone to write to me if
they'd had an adverse reaction.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
I'd like to help the government because they don't want
to know what I would like.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
To know that.
Speaker 10 (11:40):
I am a mother of three children, and I have
been informed, and I've read up on these things, and
I chose not to vaccinate my children. But when they
get to school, why is it that I have to
fight for my rights as a mother and a choice?
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Ife may me just quickly we're along, But that's a
very important question. Here are the states in which you
either have the totally free decision about whether or not
to vaccinate, or there's we're calling them loophole state, states
where they're not going to send your child to solitary
if you don't have his character.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Are all right, California?
Speaker 5 (12:15):
Not all children must be immunized in these states. Some
require religious reasons. Some places there is a bureaucratic commahammer
you have to go through to prove that you're this
or that and others. It's probably easier. So just for
the sake of simplifying this, Colorado, Idaho, Indiana, Ioa, Louisiana,
Main Michigan, Minnesota and Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania,
(12:36):
Rhode Island, Utah, Vermont, Washington, and Wisconsin. If your state
is not on there, it means that your child is
going to be left at the kindergarten door feeling very
very much an outcast because he didn't get his communization shots.
Speaker 10 (12:50):
And we'll be back in a month.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I looked at him, and they looked at me, you know,
and I just looked at her, and I have to
just get yourself and get it out to Michael Ery's
over and got a newspaper and I wrote it up.
Speaker 11 (13:00):
I slapped him on the nose.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I was sitting down on the back patio and joining
a cigar this past weekend when I went down one
of those rabbit holes I sometimes go down where I
started appreciating the music or humor or speeches or whatever
else of a particular person. And I went down to
(13:25):
Larry the Cable Guy rabbit Hole, and that's when I
noticed something. Part of Larry the Cable Guy's appeal is
that he talks about things that everyone can identify with.
Larry the Cable Guy has a lot of jokes that
involve shopping at Walmart.
Speaker 7 (13:45):
Here's my impression of the hiring practices at Walmart. Let
me ask you this, You ever cared about anything in
your entire life?
Speaker 5 (14:02):
No?
Speaker 7 (14:02):
All right, you start Tuesday. All right, we'll put you
in a DVD department. My wife won't go to Walmart.
She's trying to find the cheapest mop she could get
for something she's doing. So we go to Walmart, get
a mop, four dollars ninety five cent, go up there
to pay for the mop, and the lady goes, you
(14:23):
want to buy the protection on nest? You know what,
I think We're gonna risk it this time. All right,
got a ninety five chance. We're gonna throw that away
when we're done with it. Anyway, at our super Walmart,
you can get your haircut. They got everything. My buddy
(14:45):
got his haircut at Walmart. Twenty dollars per haircut, actually
five dollars for a haircut, fifteen dollars for the hat
you gotta wear.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Next three wait, got a doctor's.
Speaker 7 (15:01):
Office up at the Walmart. Holy smokes, people going in there.
I was there the day they gave a guy three
months to live in there, and he ended up getting
hired as a door greeterer once he.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
Walked out that door.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I had to go get a flu shot one time.
Speaker 7 (15:22):
I didn't want to go to doctor, and my wife goes,
we'll shoot. Run up to Walmart. They're giving flu shots.
Are you kidding me? I ain't getting the flu shot
at Walmart?
Speaker 2 (15:31):
That gone normally.
Speaker 7 (15:32):
I gotta get vaccinated before I go in there. Hit
a flu shot at Walmart. The flu's the last thing
I'm worried about at Walmart had gone. They probably got
a bowler behind a box in there somewhere.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I didn't know how.
Speaker 7 (15:48):
I was up there one time, made as a dude
out front in a hazmat suit. I'm like, is it
safe to go in there?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
He goes, yeah, Why I go? You in a halz
mast suit?
Speaker 1 (15:59):
He goes, I know here.
Speaker 12 (16:00):
I'm collecting the carts.
Speaker 7 (16:06):
I mean, I love shopping to Walmart, but that gum
that's like a meth maker's paradise, isn't there, ain't it?
Walmart's the only store in the world you can go
and see somebody buying sixteen bucks of of cough syrup
and some garden hose. Nobody thinks that's weird. You ever
(16:29):
shot at Walmart after midnight? Holy smokes fool? They out
to charge a cover charge in there after midnight?
Speaker 2 (16:36):
That gum.
Speaker 7 (16:37):
It's like a casting call for Ripley's, believe it or not.
In that way, if you've never been to the circus,
go to Walmart after midnight, You're bound to see a
couple of bearded women, a toothless wonder, and the fattest
man in the world on a scooter up there.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
I could listen to Larry the Cable guy all day long.
I love his stuff, but I had to limit how
many jokes we would share with you because it would
take over the entire show. But the next one some
embarrassing moments that Larry has had at the Walmart.
Speaker 13 (17:11):
Way, did you ever say something to somebody at the
Walmart and didn't after you said to your thought, shouldn't
have said that. I do that every trip in there.
Speaker 7 (17:21):
But here's this fella standing in the line there evidently
busted his neck had one of them halo's here. See
that looked like scaffold around the head. It's bolted into
your temples. Would this dude go like it?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I go, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 13 (17:39):
He goes, think I lost my car key? I said,
you lose your head of ward and screwed on?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Or was that wrong that?
Speaker 13 (17:55):
I was really laughing after I said that.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
I gotta tag you.
Speaker 13 (18:00):
Oh, this is embarrassing. I was bagging on groceries at
the grocery store the other day because it was busy,
and some old woman come up and patted me on
the head and said, I think it's wonderful they hire.
Speaker 7 (18:13):
People like you.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
And finally, one of my favorites because it's always a
funny subject.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Midgets.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
They're the cable guy tells the story about the time
that he hit a midget with his cart.
Speaker 12 (18:27):
I was shopping up at the Walmart day.
Speaker 7 (18:29):
This is a true story.
Speaker 12 (18:30):
I wasn't paying attention and I'm shopping at the Walmart
and I'm looking this way and I'm like, what did
I know?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I hit something?
Speaker 12 (18:38):
I'm like, Oh, what the hell have I got to
pay for?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Now?
Speaker 7 (18:41):
This is going to run me tens of dollars and.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
I look down.
Speaker 12 (18:47):
I'm not kidding. I hit a midget. I felt bad,
I really did. I'm like, oh my heavens, are you Okay?
He goes, I'm not happy. I go, well, which one
are you? If you don't think that's funny, you're getting
the hell out of here right now.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
All right, that's a good.
Speaker 12 (19:09):
Joke right there.
Speaker 7 (19:10):
I don't care who you are.
Speaker 12 (19:13):
And I can do them jokes because I got a
couple of madget friends that I tell them jokes to
and they okay, am I running them jokes? Mind? Some
of them go over their heads, but a lot of
them they like, we're.
Speaker 7 (19:23):
Gonna add a little bit about these whorehouses I know
all about.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Ramon wants to know what around the world is.
Speaker 11 (19:28):
Whistling bungholes, spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey riders, hooskerdoos hoosker
don'ts nips and dazers with without the scooter stick or
one single whistling kiddy chaser.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Michael Matt Mitchell is an actor and a producer from Gaston, Alabama.
And I discovered him online a few months ago, and
I posted a couple of funny things that he did,
and a number of you reached out from Alabama in
(20:00):
Louisiana and Florida and Texas that you knew who he
was and you really like him, and you were excited
that I had found him, which made me think, well,
why didn't you tell me about him in the first place?
Because he's my kind of humor. So he'll do these bits,
and you know, there's no reason for me to overexplain it.
(20:22):
He's got a great bit that I really like, entitled
sentences never before heard in the South, bless my heart.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Well, thank you. Oh it's humid. Oh well, I haven't
noticed it. Here's what I'm thinking this year. Let's try
vacation in somewhere other than Gatlinburg. You just moved here
from California. Wow. Yeah, that's awesome. We're so glad you're here.
You should bring more people over. Well, you bought your
sweet tea from the non refrigerated section of the grocery
store and it has an expiration date seven years away. Yes,
(20:51):
that's the good stuff right there. I love to drive
on ice. Actually, I'm pretty good at it. I've got
lots of experience. That is, if they don't treat the
roads first, because they definitely do that around here. You're
looking for what the closest church. Yeah, we don't have
any of those. Technically. Yeah, you could wrap it in
bacon in a deep fried, but that's a bit much.
Don't you think nobody around here is gonna eat that.
We all care deeply about our cholesterol levels. Hold on,
(21:13):
I want to say, hey, kids, Yeah, don't worry about
shutting that door. Just leave it wide open. We can
let the air conditioning pour on outside. I love just
cooling off the whole neighborhood, just doing my part. My
me ma makes the best bagels. Hey, let's go get
Mexican today. I'm thinking I'm gonna get something other than
chicken and rice. Oh a koozy, Oh this thing? Oh
I only have one of these in my house. Oh
they need more. I can only drink one of a die.
(21:35):
Biscuits and gravy. Oh it's okay, but have you ever
had a bagel with some locks? That's the new biscuits
and gravy. Right there, go, Buckeyes. Hey, your cousins are leaving,
Go tell them by, only tell them by, Do not
walk them to their vehicle and talk to them for
another hour. No need to extend it. You know what
we need around here, like eight more dollar generals. Oh,
they're opening it up a Chick fil A. Nobody's gonna
(21:57):
eat there. They're definitely not gonna line up to the
highway to get some or camp out a week in
advance for a free chicken sandwich. Absolutely not. We're all
very rational about chicken down here.
Speaker 8 (22:05):
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
We live way too far away from the beach for
you to be putting a Salt Life sticker on your car.
Doesn't make a lick of sense. One plate of food
is enough.
Speaker 12 (22:13):
You know that.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Meh Ma hates it when we get seconds. I'm sorry.
I don't have any duct tape or WT forty or
a pocket knife or three random cinder blocks laying around.
I watched the best movie the other day? What was
oh conn Air? Yeah? Nick Cage's Southern accent was just perfect.
I mean, I'll tell you what, Hollywood never gets it wrong.
Let me get this straight. You're looking for a leopard
print shirt that looks like it has a giant bleach
(22:36):
stain and says incursive, less stressed and sec football obsessed.
I don't think that we have that around here. We
definitely don't have two dozen boutique shops selling that exame
exact shirt. Dolly who par don par Ton? No, I
have never heard of her. I only have the worst
taste in music. Are you sure that's a barbecue restaurant?
Because the building seems really small and kind of dingy.
(22:58):
Even if it is, there's no the food is good.
I just I don't trust that. Oh politics, No, I
really don't have a strong opinion, you know either way. Yeah,
you could do a yard sale, but it's way easier
to sell on Facebook marketplace. Down here, everybody's super reasonable.
They definitely don't ask you to hold things and then
never come get it. You think I'm some kind of idiot. No,
when I hear that tornado siren, I go straight to
(23:20):
the bathtub, no questions asked. I definitely don't go out
in the front yard and start looking for it. I mean,
what am I gonna do? Just stare at it, you know,
try to film it real shaky, cussing the whole time. Okay,
would that do?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Now that you've heard that, take a listen to the
ten things that Matt Mitchell has learned about Houston.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
He's pretty on point with this. Here are ten things
I learned from my first trip to Houston, Texas. Number One,
Houston is entirely too large. I'm not just talking about population,
but also in like land that it consumes. Someone recently
made a map that showed the state of Connecticut fits
within Houston, and that I'm sure is a very helpful
(23:58):
reference to the three people that have been to Connecticut.
It's just big. Number two, and this is a fun fact.
Houston is about fifty miles from the Gulf Coast and
approximately three miles from the sun. It is hot, and
I'm from Alabama, where it feels like you're just getting
smothered by a hot, wet blanket when you step outside.
Texas is just like that. But the blanket is on fire.
(24:20):
You're on fire, and everything is on fire, and it's
not good. Number three, and appropriately, there is a Houston
trinity that must be respected at all times. That trinity
is of course, made up of Mattress, Mac, the Texas Hammer,
and the dude that operates the train admit a may Park.
I don't know what his name is, but they freaking
love that Holly does is move the train forwards and
backwards like twenty feet. Number four, if they can make
(24:43):
it into the shape of Texas, you bet your sweet
potuity that's exactly what they're gonna do. They've got swimming pools, crackers,
chicken nuggets, all of it shaped like Texas and they
call it the Texagon, which is actually kind of genius.
Number five, and this one was kind of a shock
to me. The traffic in Houston was not that bad.
Actually quite the opposite. It moves very fast. I only
(25:04):
got stuck in traffic one time, and even then it
was in the standstill. Reality is everybody is driving like
they're getting chased by the Texas Rangers. And I don't
mean the baseball team. I mean like Chuck Norris out
to kill you and they got to get away from
him the immediately. Number six, and it's somewhat related, is
the service roads, or at least that's what we call
them in Alabama, talking about those like two or three
lane roads that run parallel to the interstate that make
(25:26):
it easier for you to turn in and out of
businesses and get the places. But that's not the case
of Houston.
Speaker 5 (25:30):
Now.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
They're like little interstates where sometimes you go faster than
the actual interstate, So you could just be pulling out
of a Chili's and you'll die. See if the Texas
slow down. Okay, I know it's a big state. You
got a lot of ground to cover, but yin' got
go that fast. And Number seven, the Papa's brothers owned
like half the restaurants in the city. They got steakhouses,
Papa does, Papa's Barbecue, Papas Burgers, Papasitos. No one apparently
(25:56):
told either pap up brother that you can just put
all of that onto one menu and call it cheesecake factory.
They're everywhere. Number eight and maybe the greatest thing about Houston,
even though it is technically not in Houston, is the
city's proximity to Brintle, Texas. That's the birthplace of Blue Beelt,
the greatest gift that Texas has ever given the world.
(26:17):
There's a creamery there, you can take a tour of it.
And there's a scoop shop with flavors that you can't
get anywhere else, and every scoop is a dollar and
it is heaven. Heaven is in Texas, even though it
fills like the seventh layer of health. Number nine, not
all hbs are created equal. Some are good and others
(26:38):
are great. Every time I told somebody that I was
in Houston and I was going to go to an
ATV for the first time, they always asked me which
one are you going to? Which I didn't understand. They
were all amazing. What I am more curious about is
how do y'all not have so many dollar generals? I
couldn't find hardly any. Is that because where Houston garden
centers are taking up half the city? That's what I
(27:01):
want to know, because we can't stop allargand on here.
Number ten And this is kind of more of a
question to Houston because by now everybody has probably heard
of BUCkies. If you haven't just imagined a bass pro
shop that sells gas or it's a gas pro shop.
But there's also miniature buckets that they haven't been telling
us about. It's just like a you know, a normal
(27:22):
sized gas station, but it's a buckets and I didn't
even know that existed. Why haven't y'all been telling us
about that? It sounds amazing. Why would you have that
information for us? In conclusion, Houston is a pretty cool
city to visit, and by cool, I mean it is
at least one thousand degrees year round. And by city,
of course, I mean it's the size of a small
European country. It is massive. It's like someone just took
(27:44):
the same square mile of Shipley's Donuts and what a
Burger and just copied and paste of the size system.
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