Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
It's that time time, time, time, luck and load.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
So Michael Verie Show is on the air. Do you
know what's not funny? Shipley Donuts being sold to a
(00:37):
private equity firm. That's not funny. They better not change
a single thing because Shipley Donuts is perfect. I don't
get to eat them because they tear my tummy up.
But once in a blue moon, like etc. Said, I'll
do something right, I eat me one of them Shiftley donuts. Oh,
(01:02):
it really is a phenomenal donut. And the amazing thing
is we just happened to live in Houston. I didn't
come to Houston because of Shipley Donuts. They just happened
to be here. It's like I didn't choose to be
in the world's great medical facility. It just happened to
end up here. Now, it turned out to be real
(01:24):
useful for my mom and my dad that they could
come to where I live to get treatment instead of
us all having to fly to Rochester or Minneapolis. To
the phone lines, we go Teresa or Teresa Teresa, good morning, Michael. Well,
(01:47):
for some reason, Teresa Ramone spelled at T E R
E S S A the second a, suggesting that the
long E became an the Santa Fe schools. I guess
just they just didn't teach how the sounds or to
work out, you know, the whole English language. It's horrible.
I understand. What do you have? Love? You have a
(02:08):
wonderful just wonderful. Oh, thank you? Could you just so,
I am a Could you just count to ten for us?
Real quick?
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (02:19):
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Oh that's lovely. Even you're counting. You could read the
phone book and it'll be But how old are you?
Teresa sixty eight? You have the best voice. I'm serious.
You have a voice for radio.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Well, I'm a former singer for a band, so maybe
that's where it comes from.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
That's it. And you've got a little bit of a
Kim Karnes to you. I like it, just a little
bit raspy. It's it's uh. I'll stop there before I
say something in prov but i'll it's it's wonderful. Well,
thank you, Michael. What'd you call with us?
Speaker 5 (03:06):
So?
Speaker 4 (03:06):
I am a five year cancer survivor. I had breast
cancer diagnosed in twenty twenty in the middle of the
COVID epidemic. Not Able to get surgery for months after
by being diagnosed because all of the surgical centers were closed.
So made it through it five years. And I go
(03:31):
around and laugh about the fact that I have one
and a half boobs now, and no, I don't walk
around in circles. But and I looked at having a
reduction and decided, why did I want that much pain
to meet? The different sizes is my badge of honor
(03:52):
for having survived breast cancer. And I also now have
wavy hair from the medications I took for five years.
I always had stick straight hair, wanted wavy hair, and
now I hate it. So be careful what you wish for,
because God.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Might give it to you. So do you straighten it now.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Occasionally?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
So Theresa, my mother had I've spent more time studying
breast cancer than probably most guys, just because we had
so much of it in my family. And my mom
got a relatively early diagnosis that she had it, and
so she chose to have rather than just the lump removed,
(04:40):
she chose to have the boob removed because three of
her four aunts had all had breast cancer. Two of
them died from it. And so you know, we're talking
about it every day and what she should do, and
so she had her boob removed. And my brother. If
anybody's ever been around a cop, a nurse, a mortician,
(05:06):
there are certain people for whom dark humor is their
cooping technique because they can't afford to be emotional like
the rest of us. They have to the other ones
have to get in there when the blood spells right.
They're the ones that have to when the rest of us,
you know, quincy uh, you know, turn and pass out.
They have to. And so I would come in to visit,
(05:27):
my brother would would be there, and my mom would
be wearing these caftans that my wife had brought to
her from India. They're just real comfortable. It's like a
big mumu. And my brother would scream out, Mom, go
put your boob on, because she had a prosthetic boob.
And she'd say, Christopher Wayne, I am not putting my
boob on. Do you need to see me with a boob?
(05:48):
I have one boob? Would you like to see the
other one? And that was my mother's sense of humor.
And and he'd say he'd put his hands up over
his face, like you know, he'd been caught on the
Coldplay kiss cam and he say no, please, no, and
we would play out this whole thing and nobody would
ever admit they were joking, but it was kind of
a Laurel and Hearty routine. Everybody knew their role. And
(06:09):
she'd said, I'm gonna pull it up. I'm gonna show
you the boob I got here. Just check it out.
See if I have a lump, and he would cover
his face. No, please no, make it it's awful, please no.
And that was kind of our way of dealing with
the fact that, you know, we never knew if she
was going to get cancer in her other We laughed, right,
and I realized that a lot of people just never
(06:29):
learn to do that, and that's unfortunate because laughter is
like you know, when you when you put the rice
on the on the kettle and the steam comes off,
and that tells you the pressure has reached too much.
If you don't have that, you explode, and it's most unfortunate.
It's most unfortunate.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
Teresa here, Mary, I I am oh no, I am
a hospice nurse, so I'm very oh familiar with the
dark humor.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Said every day around here because we have to and
you're right. And before I had surgery, I was talking
to the late Matt Patrick one day about Oh, they
were having a day in Austin. Basically it was a
breast free day. They wanted you to take off your
shirt and run around the state House and I told
(07:23):
them I couldn't do that because I'd end up with
two black eyes. And so, you know, we have to
laugh at life because if we don't, we spend all
our time crying.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Yes, it's the it's the classic. I don't know whether
to laugh or cry, you know, Teresa, I'm going to
tell you something we are taught at Cops and veterans
and teachers are heroes and they're so important and all
that is very true. It is incredibly true and poignant
(08:00):
and important. But I have to tell you, hospice nurses,
not just nurses. Nurses are special, but hospital to get
up every day and know that you might have to
bury one of the people you're caring for, and then
to take on and do it. If God bless you,
you are one of God's specials at special angels. To
lose a great call, fantastical lift life doing it big
(08:25):
on The Michael Barry Show, Arthur Seberger, longtime listener, will
often send me clever lines, funny jokes, witty commentarian. He's
had multiple prostate cancer surgeries and he wrote my first
(08:49):
prostate surgery. I was lying on the table, legs up,
and those stirrup things downstairs was pretty open. It was
colder than Hillary's handshake the bill on their wedding night.
So you know what happens to the old hanger down her.
Then for very young, very attractive, you can even tell
with masks, come in freaking. I said, y'all have seen
(09:13):
the Seinfeld show about shrinkage. Right, I'm a white guy
and it's freezing in here. They were all howling. Don't worry,
mister Seburger. We'll be seated at your head. Oh that's good.
That's that's uh, that's very good. Before we get back
(09:35):
to the calls, Joan Rivers is not for everybody. She's uh.
She was a She had a ribald sense of humor.
But a man starts getting offended because she made a
joke and she let him have it. Give this a listen.
I hate.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
The only child I think I would have liked.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
Everyone was helling kell, but she didn't talk.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
It is.
Speaker 7 (10:05):
Yes it is, and if you don't, then leave. I
happen to have a deaf mother. Oh, you stupid ass.
Let me tell you what comedy is about me? Oh please,
you are so stupid. Comedy is to make everybody laugh
at everything and deal with things, you idiot. My mother
is deaf, you stupid Solovich.
Speaker 5 (10:27):
Don't tell me, and just the incase you can hear
me in a hole. I lived for nine years with
a man with one leg.
Speaker 7 (10:34):
Okay, you ask how we're gonna talk about what it's
like to have a man with one leg who lost
it will word two and then went back together it
because that's lilittery. So don't you tell me what's tonny.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
Comedy is to make us lay nine eleven.
Speaker 7 (10:53):
If we didn't laugh, where the hell would we all be?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Think about that?
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Where the hell would we be? How do you not
find Osama?
Speaker 7 (11:02):
There is one There is one outlet. He's on dialysis.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
There is one outlet, and all that kind of stands.
Find a club. I follow the tool.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
A comedy to someone that's not a person you want
to be around. When people say to me, oh, oh
I like funny stuff, I like funny, I have yes,
I love I love funny stuff, but that's not funny
when you are offended because you don't find a joke
(11:49):
to be funny. I'll guarantee you I can tell you
ten things about your life. You're a miserable human being
who makes everyone around you miserable if you're the person
who constantly says of humor, well, I like I like comedy,
I like good joke, like good joke much as the
next person I do. I can tell, I can really tell,
(12:11):
but that's not funny, that's not funny, that's hurtful. You know,
you can't fix some people. You can't. You can't give
them a better perspective. And it's tragic. But I've come
to learn this. There are certain people who aren't happy.
Unless they're unhappy, they don't want to laugh. Woman sent
(12:34):
me an email a few minutes ago. She and her
husband buried their child, which nobody should have to do,
and then everything was done, and there they were left
with no child in their home. What to do? So
they went to Blockbuster, which was always remonta stream to
work at Blockbuster, they went to a True Story. They
went to Blockbuster and rented a bunch of comedy movies.
(12:56):
And she said, we just.
Speaker 8 (12:57):
Sat there for hour after hour after hour and laughed
and laughed and laughed, and ever so often, in the
middle of the laughter, there'd be a tear come down
because we knew we were stifling the sadness, but it
felt so much better to laugh.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Raymond, You're on the Michael Berry Show.
Speaker 9 (13:15):
Go ahead, Hi, Michael, this is Raymond Kerry. First time caller,
added listener, I actually hurt overheard?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Are hold on?
Speaker 9 (13:35):
Can we hear each other? Okay?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Now, no, not real? Are you on bluetooth?
Speaker 9 (13:42):
No, sir, just I've got the radio set off. And
uh are you done in a hole down on the car? Yeah? Dalveston, Texas.
Speaker 10 (13:50):
If you can.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Go ahead, Raymond, just talk loud for me, please.
Speaker 9 (13:57):
I was I heard you speaking about the back Well,
it just so happens that I have one. But it's
an athom's wound care pouch. The survivor of two liver
transplants and a kidney transplant. I developed what you call
a wallbal systela after my second liver transplant and kidney transplant,
(14:21):
and I'm telling you this thing, actually it controls my life.
They just can't seem to find it's the fistola is
right under the rib cage on the right side and
right in the center of the scars for the for
the transplant. Okay, I have to fill this whole thing
(14:43):
in with taste, and if I move wrong, the paste
pulls away from the skin and it starts getting on me.
I have to stop what I'm doing and change this thing,
and it can take It's taken me up to eleven
and a half hours.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Oh man, let me tell Ramon what official is, Ramona.
This is what it says. A ficula is an abnormal
connection or passageway between two organs or body cavities, or
between an organ and the skin. Fistulus can develop due
to various reasons, including surgery, injury, infection, or inflammatory conditions.
(15:22):
They can occur in various parts of the bodies, such
as the anus, bladder or gastro intestinal tract. And your
fistula is where.
Speaker 9 (15:32):
It's right in the right under the rib cage on
the right side and in the center of the scars
from the transplants.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
You've had two liver transplants in one kidney or vice versa.
Speaker 9 (15:48):
Yeah, two liver and one kidney, yes, sir, And.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
What was wrong? What caused your your liver to fail.
Speaker 9 (15:56):
Well, the first one I did to myself.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
The czar he's on, well done. So this is the
Michael Berry Show and it's so risty up. The basis
of the conversation today was that Dion Sanders announced yesterday
that he has bladder cancer. They've kept that amazingly quiet,
(16:28):
considering every time he goes for treatment. Somebody's going to
see Dion Sanders at the cancer hospital, all the different
people that he would have consulted. Do you know why
stories like that get out? Because Dion calls a buddy
Warren sav I was going to make up a name, EMMITTT. Smith,
(16:51):
somebody that he's known from back in the day. He says, hey,
you anybody's gone through this, that's what I'm thinking. And
then that person tells a p because people can't keep secrets.
And then that person calls their buddy that's in the
medians and to say I got a scoop for you,
because then they look good for being the one to
give a scoop. And then Dion's control of his personal
(17:15):
private story is no longer in his control anymore. They're
calling and asking for comments and speculating about it when
he didn't want it out there, and reporters feel that
it is their prerogative to get to do that. I
hope that happens to them. I always found it fascinating
that after nine to eleven, they had the phenomenon known
as jumpers. People would jump from the buildings that were
(17:38):
on fire to their deaths, and the New York media
decided that they would no longer cover those jumps because
they knew too many people involved. So, in other words,
when it happens in Beaumont, put it on TV. It
serves for our enjoyment. Get some popcorn and we'll watch.
But when it's our own family members and friends who
(17:58):
are jumping to their deaths, let's not put that on
TV because they're actual humans. Because if we know them,
they're actual humans. But if they live somewhere else, they're
here for our amusement. Ed you're on the Michael Berry Show.
Speaker 10 (18:13):
Go ahead, sir, Hey Michael, Yeah, last year was at
the VA hospital. I've got the I got the cold cancer.
But every time I tell somebody about you know, I
got cold cancer, oh man, I'm like, don't be sad.
So now I call it the booty cancer. And so
when I tell them that it's they they're not upset.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
When they hear that.
Speaker 10 (18:37):
So one of my friends, her son's going to m
I T and they're up and Salem and they're checking
out all those Salem witches and all that stuff. And
she bought me a plague doctor from my booty cancer.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
And I like how you deal with tough news. I like.
I like your approach. You know, I've known people in
my life who you call and check on them. How
you doing?
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Well?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
What's wrong? Well? You know our dog died, Oh okay,
all right, when it was back in January. So I
haven't talked to you in two years. And I called
and year down because your dog dad six months ago.
Really you call that same person a year later? Hey,
(19:35):
how you doing.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
All right?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
I just tired, I've been long. What's wrong? Well, our
next door neighbors, veterinarians, technicians, brothers, cousin. Their house got flooded,
and so we're trying to help them find some clothes
and things. Okay, flood was in September, it's December.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
I know.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
It's just I think what I'm hearing from you is
there always needs to be one thing that you hyper
focus on that is really sad and traumatic, and you're
always kind of in a state of listlessness and exhaustion
over that. I got news for you. Your problem isn't a
(20:26):
flood or a dog. Your problem is you're in an
endless loop of mild depression. That's what this is. People
like that don't want funny, they don't want laughter, they
don't want happiness. What makes the left so sad is
they want to destroy your happiness. They want to destroy
(20:48):
the excellence of America. They want to destroy the pride
in America. They want to destroy the honor and integrity,
the glory that we get of being the greatest nation
on earth. They want that to e and other people's
happiness makes them miserable. And you will find that we
have some folks on our side as well, and you
(21:10):
come to the conclusion you just can't fix them, David,
You're only Michael Berry Show.
Speaker 11 (21:17):
Oh yes, I was a years ago. It was recovering.
I didn't realize in the recovery room for a fusion
back surgery, and I wake up and I just see,
you know, the upper lights, so it looks like, you know,
the bright light. So I thought in my head you're
in the tunnel.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I'll change.
Speaker 11 (21:37):
I'll change, Yeah, I'll change the word starts with the S,
I'll change to the sea. I said, oh crap, I
didn't make it. And all of a sudden, I hear
this laughter and I'm going, oh lord, it's not really
warm in here.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
So I'm thinking you I went down now going up?
Speaker 11 (21:53):
Well, I see this the face mask from the surgery team,
the recovery team, and they use that to you know,
questioned me to see my recovery and stuff. And they said, man,
we didn't even have to make anything up. You gave
us the line right away. So it was they did
good with that. But I mean, you just you don't know.
(22:14):
And with the fusion, they got you completely tied down,
so you know, you can't move, so you just kind
of like, oh and you see the.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Light and oh lord. So yeah, I said a different words,
you can't doe radio.
Speaker 11 (22:27):
No, Well, I guess you be a hell of a trick.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
And me calling you on the phone right now, I
don't know, it had a different sound to it. You know,
I thought maybe JB. You're on the Michael Berry Show.
Go ahead, sir.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
You know, mister Michael, I've got a story that I
think you can turn bad situations into funny unless it's
just really, really, really bad. So I've had issues with
my left hip for many years. I'm sixty nine. I
worked oil and gas forty years. Was up in East Texas,
(23:06):
and when we moved here ten years ago after I retired,
what a culture shock to come down and live in
the Houston area because for years I'm on the road
up in the country and Tyler, you know, it's not tiny,
but it's nothing like.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Living down here.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
And so Russe Lindbaugh taught me a lot about illustrating
absurdity by being absurd, and I always cherished him for
that gift. So, for example, I got on Facebook about
five six years ago. I always said I wouldn't do it,
(23:44):
and then I found the footprint that I like with it,
and I kid around a lot. But for example, I
saw a post and it was like a like a
five hundred pound woman and she's holding up a sign
and it says I will day gun hunters. And I
laughed and laughed, and all the guy friends I sent
it to just thought that was hilarious. Well then I
(24:07):
reposted it and you couldn't believe some of the people
that just would flashed me told me how insensitive that
was the post.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
So well, well, lucky you, The Michael Ferry Show continues.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
You're lucky day both lassus in a district. When we
told you the story of Chase calicut who was committed
to North Shore, I'm sorry, north Shore player committed to Georgia,
(24:50):
which means he's pretty good football player. If you get
an offer from Georgia to play ball after high school,
you're one of the best players in the country. You
were in your own league. You're really good. Now, that
(25:15):
doesn't mean necessarily you're going to play pro ball. The
odds are still against you. But for an eighteen year
old kid, no matter how tough the circumstances are are
at home, you got a real shot here. Don't mess
this up. But as we know, that wasn't enough to
(25:36):
keep him out of trouble. He made some threats on
some classmates at his school and then as he drove
his buddy, Isaiah Phillip, unloaded his gun on those classmates
as Chase Callicutt drove up on them, and then his
buddy Isaiah Phillip, two weeks later, was shot and killed
(25:59):
at a pool party at seventeen years old. So it
turns out Chase Callicut isn't the only kid at north
Shore High School to have problems. Three players from that
team have been shot and killed over the last eighteen months.
(26:23):
You got a real problem here. You've got a civil
war occurring. You've got young black men growing up shooting
and killing each other over nothing, good grief over nothing.
To their credit, the north Shore community held a meeting
(26:46):
last night to address the ongoing violence and parents were
urged to start being parents. KPRC TV with the.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Story it was a night of straight talk in East
Terris County as dozens came together in the way of
deadly youth gun violence that recently has made headlines involving
north Shore High.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
School today and he's just seeing therefore going.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Today many of the room connected to the Powerhouse football
program at north Shore, as well as to three of
the players that have been lost to gun violence in
the last sixteen months. Reginald Gordon, better known as OG one,
says the focus shouldn't simply be on those who have
made headlines.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
We losed fourtun many in the streets that nobody even
speaks about.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
The teens we spoke with say that in light of
the violence they have seen recently, they've been changing their
ways and the.
Speaker 9 (27:41):
Time right now is really just keep your hand on
your shoulders and look behind you at all times. That's
really what it is.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Now, and I hate that it's like that.
Speaker 8 (27:49):
We as as individually, we always talk about Iiji's not
going to parties no more because that's how our friend died.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
However, changing the community for the better is not an
overnight fix, according to parents. That loud voice you hear
belongs to Drea Wedge, the mother of a former North
Shore player. Her message, as well as the message of
others like og One, is that parents need to start
being parents.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
If we don't hold our kids accountable, they're going to
continue doing everything they want to do.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Andrea's message wasn't just about holding kids accountable, it also
was about holding parents accountable. And what she said to
everyone inside the room and garner an applause, was that listen,
if you're a parent and you have someone coming to you,
another parent saying hey, I have concerns or I have
some issues with regards to your child, you shouldn't immediately
defend your child. You should actually look at yourself and say,
(28:42):
is my child a problem? And how do I get
them the help that they need in order to not
find themselves the victims of potential violence.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
You know, every day you see criticisms by people who
hate white people, whether it's on CNN, MSNBC, in the classroom,
politicians criticizing what is known as white culture or white privilege.
(29:20):
White privilege is no longer relegated to wealth, the aristocracy,
the blue bloods. It is considered white privilege. If nobody
has shot into the window of your home, it is
considered white privilege. If nobody in your family is imprisoned.
(29:40):
The cultural rot that has occurred in some, not all,
but some black households and black neighborhoods in this country
is shameful. It's embarrassing, it's sad, but it's not surprising. Two,
(30:05):
many people in this country have learned, just as Palestinians
have learned to blame Jews for their problems, just as
the sixteen majority Muslim nations in the world blame the
Jews for their problems. No, this ain't whitey's problem. This
is cultural rot. And here's where it starts. At some point,
(30:29):
you're gonna have to break the cycle. But let's somewhere tonight.
A black man will sleep with a white sorry, a
black man will sleep with a black woman, I say
sleep with. There won't be any sleeping involved. There will
be a sex act. It will be unprotected. Now, it's
(30:53):
not that there aren't unwanted pregnancies among white folks, but
the percentage is far higher for blacks. There is a
recklessness with regard to that. But to be clear, it's
not just I don't care if she gets pregnant. It
(31:14):
is him and her wanting to get pregnant. She gonna
have a baby for him. That's how that goes. It's
an honor for him that she'll get pregnant carry his
baby to term, and he's not in any way involved,
nor is he expected to be. Well. Now you've created
(31:36):
a situation. We've seen the statistics. The problem isn't raised
in this country. It's fatherless homes. Turns out fatherless homes
with only a mother. In white and Hispanic communities, there's
a huge drop in the likelihood they'll graduate from college.
There's a huge increase in the likelihood they'll end up
(31:57):
in prison. All of those problems are exacerbated by one person,
a mother trying to raise a child and support a child.
It all starts right there at the fatherless home, and
then it continues with what's that father doing by day?
Is he working or is he gangbanging? Is he involved
(32:20):
in criminal activities? And you're just creating this cycle over
and over and over again, and no one wants to
stop it, No one wants to fix it, No one
wants to call it by its name. This is cultural right.
This isn't racism or slavery or jim Crow. This is
none of those sorts of things. This is behaviors that
(32:41):
are worse today than they were in the sixties. Many
black folk live better in the sixties than they do today.
There was pride, There was a desire to improve oneself.
There was a desire to contribute, to raise kids who
live better than you do. Not to day,
It's that time time, time, time, luck and load.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
So Michael Verie Show is on the air. Do you
know what's not funny? Shipley Donuts being sold to a
(00:37):
private equity firm. That's not funny. They better not change
a single thing because Shipley Donuts is perfect. I don't
get to eat them because they tear my tummy up.
But once in a blue moon, like etc. Said, I'll
do something right, I eat me one of them Shiftley donuts. Oh,
(01:02):
it really is a phenomenal donut. And the amazing thing
is we just happened to live in Houston. I didn't
come to Houston because of Shipley Donuts. They just happened
to be here. It's like I didn't choose to be
in the world's great medical facility. It just happened to
end up here. Now, it turned out to be real
(01:24):
useful for my mom and my dad that they could
come to where I live to get treatment instead of
us all having to fly to Rochester or Minneapolis. To
the phone lines, we go Teresa or Teresa Teresa, good morning, Michael. Well,
(01:47):
for some reason, Teresa Ramone spelled at T E R
E S S A the second a, suggesting that the
long E became an the Santa Fe schools. I guess
just they just didn't teach how the sounds or to
work out, you know, the whole English language. It's horrible.
I understand. What do you have? Love? You have a
(02:08):
wonderful just wonderful. Oh, thank you? Could you just so,
I am a Could you just count to ten for us?
Real quick?
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (02:19):
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Oh that's lovely. Even you're counting. You could read the
phone book and it'll be But how old are you?
Teresa sixty eight? You have the best voice. I'm serious.
You have a voice for radio.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Well, I'm a former singer for a band, so maybe
that's where it comes from.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
That's it. And you've got a little bit of a
Kim Karnes to you. I like it, just a little
bit raspy. It's it's uh. I'll stop there before I
say something in prov but i'll it's it's wonderful. Well,
thank you, Michael. What'd you call with us?
Speaker 5 (03:06):
So?
Speaker 4 (03:06):
I am a five year cancer survivor. I had breast
cancer diagnosed in twenty twenty in the middle of the
COVID epidemic. Not Able to get surgery for months after
by being diagnosed because all of the surgical centers were closed.
So made it through it five years. And I go
(03:31):
around and laugh about the fact that I have one
and a half boobs now, and no, I don't walk
around in circles. But and I looked at having a
reduction and decided, why did I want that much pain
to meet? The different sizes is my badge of honor
(03:52):
for having survived breast cancer. And I also now have
wavy hair from the medications I took for five years.
I always had stick straight hair, wanted wavy hair, and
now I hate it. So be careful what you wish for,
because God.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Might give it to you. So do you straighten it now.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Occasionally?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
So Theresa, my mother had I've spent more time studying
breast cancer than probably most guys, just because we had
so much of it in my family. And my mom
got a relatively early diagnosis that she had it, and
so she chose to have rather than just the lump removed,
(04:40):
she chose to have the boob removed because three of
her four aunts had all had breast cancer. Two of
them died from it. And so you know, we're talking
about it every day and what she should do, and
so she had her boob removed. And my brother. If
anybody's ever been around a cop, a nurse, a mortician,
(05:06):
there are certain people for whom dark humor is their
cooping technique because they can't afford to be emotional like
the rest of us. They have to the other ones
have to get in there when the blood spells right.
They're the ones that have to when the rest of us,
you know, quincy uh, you know, turn and pass out.
They have to. And so I would come in to visit,
(05:27):
my brother would would be there, and my mom would
be wearing these caftans that my wife had brought to
her from India. They're just real comfortable. It's like a
big mumu. And my brother would scream out, Mom, go
put your boob on, because she had a prosthetic boob.
And she'd say, Christopher Wayne, I am not putting my
boob on. Do you need to see me with a boob?
(05:48):
I have one boob? Would you like to see the
other one? And that was my mother's sense of humor.
And and he'd say he'd put his hands up over
his face, like you know, he'd been caught on the
Coldplay kiss cam and he say no, please, no, and
we would play out this whole thing and nobody would
ever admit they were joking, but it was kind of
a Laurel and Hearty routine. Everybody knew their role. And
(06:09):
she'd said, I'm gonna pull it up. I'm gonna show
you the boob I got here. Just check it out.
See if I have a lump, and he would cover
his face. No, please no, make it it's awful, please no.
And that was kind of our way of dealing with
the fact that, you know, we never knew if she
was going to get cancer in her other We laughed, right,
and I realized that a lot of people just never
(06:29):
learn to do that, and that's unfortunate because laughter is
like you know, when you when you put the rice
on the on the kettle and the steam comes off,
and that tells you the pressure has reached too much.
If you don't have that, you explode, and it's most unfortunate.
It's most unfortunate.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
Teresa here, Mary, I I am oh no, I am
a hospice nurse, so I'm very oh familiar with the
dark humor.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Said every day around here because we have to and
you're right. And before I had surgery, I was talking
to the late Matt Patrick one day about Oh, they
were having a day in Austin. Basically it was a
breast free day. They wanted you to take off your
shirt and run around the state House and I told
(07:23):
them I couldn't do that because I'd end up with
two black eyes. And so, you know, we have to
laugh at life because if we don't, we spend all
our time crying.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Yes, it's the it's the classic. I don't know whether
to laugh or cry, you know, Teresa, I'm going to
tell you something we are taught at Cops and veterans
and teachers are heroes and they're so important and all
that is very true. It is incredibly true and poignant
(08:00):
and important. But I have to tell you, hospice nurses,
not just nurses. Nurses are special, but hospital to get
up every day and know that you might have to
bury one of the people you're caring for, and then
to take on and do it. If God bless you,
you are one of God's specials at special angels. To
lose a great call, fantastical lift life doing it big
(08:25):
on The Michael Barry Show, Arthur Seberger, longtime listener, will
often send me clever lines, funny jokes, witty commentarian. He's
had multiple prostate cancer surgeries and he wrote my first
(08:49):
prostate surgery. I was lying on the table, legs up,
and those stirrup things downstairs was pretty open. It was
colder than Hillary's handshake the bill on their wedding night.
So you know what happens to the old hanger down her.
Then for very young, very attractive, you can even tell
with masks, come in freaking. I said, y'all have seen
(09:13):
the Seinfeld show about shrinkage. Right, I'm a white guy
and it's freezing in here. They were all howling. Don't worry,
mister Seburger. We'll be seated at your head. Oh that's good.
That's that's uh, that's very good. Before we get back
(09:35):
to the calls, Joan Rivers is not for everybody. She's uh.
She was a She had a ribald sense of humor.
But a man starts getting offended because she made a
joke and she let him have it. Give this a listen.
I hate.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
The only child I think I would have liked.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
Everyone was helling kell, but she didn't talk.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
It is.
Speaker 7 (10:05):
Yes it is, and if you don't, then leave. I
happen to have a deaf mother. Oh, you stupid ass.
Let me tell you what comedy is about me? Oh please,
you are so stupid. Comedy is to make everybody laugh
at everything and deal with things, you idiot. My mother
is deaf, you stupid Solovich.
Speaker 5 (10:27):
Don't tell me, and just the incase you can hear
me in a hole. I lived for nine years with
a man with one leg.
Speaker 7 (10:34):
Okay, you ask how we're gonna talk about what it's
like to have a man with one leg who lost
it will word two and then went back together it
because that's lilittery. So don't you tell me what's tonny.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
Comedy is to make us lay nine eleven.
Speaker 7 (10:53):
If we didn't laugh, where the hell would we all be?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Think about that?
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Where the hell would we be? How do you not
find Osama?
Speaker 7 (11:02):
There is one There is one outlet. He's on dialysis.
Speaker 5 (11:07):
There is one outlet, and all that kind of stands.
Find a club. I follow the tool.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
A comedy to someone that's not a person you want
to be around. When people say to me, oh, oh
I like funny stuff, I like funny, I have yes,
I love I love funny stuff, but that's not funny
when you are offended because you don't find a joke
(11:49):
to be funny. I'll guarantee you I can tell you
ten things about your life. You're a miserable human being
who makes everyone around you miserable if you're the person
who constantly says of humor, well, I like I like comedy,
I like good joke, like good joke much as the
next person I do. I can tell, I can really tell,
(12:11):
but that's not funny, that's not funny, that's hurtful. You know,
you can't fix some people. You can't. You can't give
them a better perspective. And it's tragic. But I've come
to learn this. There are certain people who aren't happy.
Unless they're unhappy, they don't want to laugh. Woman sent
(12:34):
me an email a few minutes ago. She and her
husband buried their child, which nobody should have to do,
and then everything was done, and there they were left
with no child in their home. What to do? So
they went to Blockbuster, which was always remonta stream to
work at Blockbuster, they went to a True Story. They
went to Blockbuster and rented a bunch of comedy movies.
(12:56):
And she said, we just.
Speaker 8 (12:57):
Sat there for hour after hour after hour and laughed
and laughed and laughed, and ever so often, in the
middle of the laughter, there'd be a tear come down
because we knew we were stifling the sadness, but it
felt so much better to laugh.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Raymond, You're on the Michael Berry Show.
Speaker 9 (13:15):
Go ahead, Hi, Michael, this is Raymond Kerry. First time caller,
added listener, I actually hurt overheard?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Are hold on?
Speaker 9 (13:35):
Can we hear each other? Okay?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Now, no, not real? Are you on bluetooth?
Speaker 9 (13:42):
No, sir, just I've got the radio set off. And
uh are you done in a hole down on the car? Yeah? Dalveston, Texas.
Speaker 10 (13:50):
If you can.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Go ahead, Raymond, just talk loud for me, please.
Speaker 9 (13:57):
I was I heard you speaking about the back Well,
it just so happens that I have one. But it's
an athom's wound care pouch. The survivor of two liver
transplants and a kidney transplant. I developed what you call
a wallbal systela after my second liver transplant and kidney transplant,
(14:21):
and I'm telling you this thing, actually it controls my life.
They just can't seem to find it's the fistola is
right under the rib cage on the right side and
right in the center of the scars for the for
the transplant. Okay, I have to fill this whole thing
(14:43):
in with taste, and if I move wrong, the paste
pulls away from the skin and it starts getting on me.
I have to stop what I'm doing and change this thing,
and it can take It's taken me up to eleven
and a half hours.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Oh man, let me tell Ramon what official is, Ramona.
This is what it says. A ficula is an abnormal
connection or passageway between two organs or body cavities, or
between an organ and the skin. Fistulus can develop due
to various reasons, including surgery, injury, infection, or inflammatory conditions.
(15:22):
They can occur in various parts of the bodies, such
as the anus, bladder or gastro intestinal tract. And your
fistula is where.
Speaker 9 (15:32):
It's right in the right under the rib cage on
the right side and in the center of the scars
from the transplants.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
You've had two liver transplants in one kidney or vice versa.
Speaker 9 (15:48):
Yeah, two liver and one kidney, yes, sir, And.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
What was wrong? What caused your your liver to fail.
Speaker 9 (15:56):
Well, the first one I did to myself.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
The czar he's on, well done. So this is the
Michael Berry Show and it's so risty up. The basis
of the conversation today was that Dion Sanders announced yesterday
that he has bladder cancer. They've kept that amazingly quiet,
(16:28):
considering every time he goes for treatment. Somebody's going to
see Dion Sanders at the cancer hospital, all the different
people that he would have consulted. Do you know why
stories like that get out? Because Dion calls a buddy
Warren sav I was going to make up a name, EMMITTT. Smith,
(16:51):
somebody that he's known from back in the day. He says, hey,
you anybody's gone through this, that's what I'm thinking. And
then that person tells a p because people can't keep secrets.
And then that person calls their buddy that's in the
medians and to say I got a scoop for you,
because then they look good for being the one to
give a scoop. And then Dion's control of his personal
(17:15):
private story is no longer in his control anymore. They're
calling and asking for comments and speculating about it when
he didn't want it out there, and reporters feel that
it is their prerogative to get to do that. I
hope that happens to them. I always found it fascinating
that after nine to eleven, they had the phenomenon known
as jumpers. People would jump from the buildings that were
(17:38):
on fire to their deaths, and the New York media
decided that they would no longer cover those jumps because
they knew too many people involved. So, in other words,
when it happens in Beaumont, put it on TV. It
serves for our enjoyment. Get some popcorn and we'll watch.
But when it's our own family members and friends who
(17:58):
are jumping to their deaths, let's not put that on
TV because they're actual humans. Because if we know them,
they're actual humans. But if they live somewhere else, they're
here for our amusement. Ed you're on the Michael Berry Show.
Speaker 10 (18:13):
Go ahead, sir, Hey Michael, Yeah, last year was at
the VA hospital. I've got the I got the cold cancer.
But every time I tell somebody about you know, I
got cold cancer, oh man, I'm like, don't be sad.
So now I call it the booty cancer. And so
when I tell them that it's they they're not upset.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
When they hear that.
Speaker 10 (18:37):
So one of my friends, her son's going to m
I T and they're up and Salem and they're checking
out all those Salem witches and all that stuff. And
she bought me a plague doctor from my booty cancer.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
And I like how you deal with tough news. I like.
I like your approach. You know, I've known people in
my life who you call and check on them. How
you doing?
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Well?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
What's wrong? Well? You know our dog died, Oh okay,
all right, when it was back in January. So I
haven't talked to you in two years. And I called
and year down because your dog dad six months ago.
Really you call that same person a year later? Hey,
(19:35):
how you doing.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
All right?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
I just tired, I've been long. What's wrong? Well, our
next door neighbors, veterinarians, technicians, brothers, cousin. Their house got flooded,
and so we're trying to help them find some clothes
and things. Okay, flood was in September, it's December.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
I know.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
It's just I think what I'm hearing from you is
there always needs to be one thing that you hyper
focus on that is really sad and traumatic, and you're
always kind of in a state of listlessness and exhaustion
over that. I got news for you. Your problem isn't a
(20:26):
flood or a dog. Your problem is you're in an
endless loop of mild depression. That's what this is. People
like that don't want funny, they don't want laughter, they
don't want happiness. What makes the left so sad is
they want to destroy your happiness. They want to destroy
(20:48):
the excellence of America. They want to destroy the pride
in America. They want to destroy the honor and integrity,
the glory that we get of being the greatest nation
on earth. They want that to e and other people's
happiness makes them miserable. And you will find that we
have some folks on our side as well, and you
(21:10):
come to the conclusion you just can't fix them, David,
You're only Michael Berry Show.
Speaker 11 (21:17):
Oh yes, I was a years ago. It was recovering.
I didn't realize in the recovery room for a fusion
back surgery, and I wake up and I just see,
you know, the upper lights, so it looks like, you know,
the bright light. So I thought in my head you're
in the tunnel.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I'll change.
Speaker 11 (21:37):
I'll change, Yeah, I'll change the word starts with the S,
I'll change to the sea. I said, oh crap, I
didn't make it. And all of a sudden, I hear
this laughter and I'm going, oh lord, it's not really
warm in here.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
So I'm thinking you I went down now going up?
Speaker 11 (21:53):
Well, I see this the face mask from the surgery team,
the recovery team, and they use that to you know,
questioned me to see my recovery and stuff. And they said, man,
we didn't even have to make anything up. You gave
us the line right away. So it was they did
good with that. But I mean, you just you don't know.
(22:14):
And with the fusion, they got you completely tied down,
so you know, you can't move, so you just kind
of like, oh and you see the.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Light and oh lord. So yeah, I said a different words,
you can't doe radio.
Speaker 11 (22:27):
No, Well, I guess you be a hell of a trick.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
And me calling you on the phone right now, I
don't know, it had a different sound to it. You know,
I thought maybe JB. You're on the Michael Berry Show.
Go ahead, sir.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
You know, mister Michael, I've got a story that I
think you can turn bad situations into funny unless it's
just really, really, really bad. So I've had issues with
my left hip for many years. I'm sixty nine. I
worked oil and gas forty years. Was up in East Texas,
(23:06):
and when we moved here ten years ago after I retired,
what a culture shock to come down and live in
the Houston area because for years I'm on the road
up in the country and Tyler, you know, it's not tiny,
but it's nothing like.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Living down here.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
And so Russe Lindbaugh taught me a lot about illustrating
absurdity by being absurd, and I always cherished him for
that gift. So, for example, I got on Facebook about
five six years ago. I always said I wouldn't do it,
(23:44):
and then I found the footprint that I like with it,
and I kid around a lot. But for example, I
saw a post and it was like a like a
five hundred pound woman and she's holding up a sign
and it says I will day gun hunters. And I
laughed and laughed, and all the guy friends I sent
it to just thought that was hilarious. Well then I
(24:07):
reposted it and you couldn't believe some of the people
that just would flashed me told me how insensitive that
was the post.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
So well, well, lucky you, The Michael Ferry Show continues.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
You're lucky day both lassus in a district. When we
told you the story of Chase calicut who was committed
to North Shore, I'm sorry, north Shore player committed to Georgia,
(24:50):
which means he's pretty good football player. If you get
an offer from Georgia to play ball after high school,
you're one of the best players in the country. You
were in your own league. You're really good. Now, that
(25:15):
doesn't mean necessarily you're going to play pro ball. The
odds are still against you. But for an eighteen year
old kid, no matter how tough the circumstances are are
at home, you got a real shot here. Don't mess
this up. But as we know, that wasn't enough to
(25:36):
keep him out of trouble. He made some threats on
some classmates at his school and then as he drove
his buddy, Isaiah Phillip, unloaded his gun on those classmates
as Chase Callicutt drove up on them, and then his
buddy Isaiah Phillip, two weeks later, was shot and killed
(25:59):
at a pool party at seventeen years old. So it
turns out Chase Callicut isn't the only kid at north
Shore High School to have problems. Three players from that
team have been shot and killed over the last eighteen months.
(26:23):
You got a real problem here. You've got a civil
war occurring. You've got young black men growing up shooting
and killing each other over nothing, good grief over nothing.
To their credit, the north Shore community held a meeting
(26:46):
last night to address the ongoing violence and parents were
urged to start being parents. KPRC TV with the.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Story it was a night of straight talk in East
Terris County as dozens came together in the way of
deadly youth gun violence that recently has made headlines involving
north Shore High.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
School today and he's just seeing therefore going.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Today many of the room connected to the Powerhouse football
program at north Shore, as well as to three of
the players that have been lost to gun violence in
the last sixteen months. Reginald Gordon, better known as OG one,
says the focus shouldn't simply be on those who have
made headlines.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
We losed fourtun many in the streets that nobody even
speaks about.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
The teens we spoke with say that in light of
the violence they have seen recently, they've been changing their
ways and the.
Speaker 9 (27:41):
Time right now is really just keep your hand on
your shoulders and look behind you at all times. That's
really what it is.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Now, and I hate that it's like that.
Speaker 8 (27:49):
We as as individually, we always talk about Iiji's not
going to parties no more because that's how our friend died.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
However, changing the community for the better is not an
overnight fix, according to parents. That loud voice you hear
belongs to Drea Wedge, the mother of a former North
Shore player. Her message, as well as the message of
others like og One, is that parents need to start
being parents.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
If we don't hold our kids accountable, they're going to
continue doing everything they want to do.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Andrea's message wasn't just about holding kids accountable, it also
was about holding parents accountable. And what she said to
everyone inside the room and garner an applause, was that listen,
if you're a parent and you have someone coming to you,
another parent saying hey, I have concerns or I have
some issues with regards to your child, you shouldn't immediately
defend your child. You should actually look at yourself and say,
(28:42):
is my child a problem? And how do I get
them the help that they need in order to not
find themselves the victims of potential violence.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
You know, every day you see criticisms by people who
hate white people, whether it's on CNN, MSNBC, in the classroom,
politicians criticizing what is known as white culture or white privilege.
(29:20):
White privilege is no longer relegated to wealth, the aristocracy,
the blue bloods. It is considered white privilege. If nobody
has shot into the window of your home, it is
considered white privilege. If nobody in your family is imprisoned.
(29:40):
The cultural rot that has occurred in some, not all,
but some black households and black neighborhoods in this country
is shameful. It's embarrassing, it's sad, but it's not surprising. Two,
(30:05):
many people in this country have learned, just as Palestinians
have learned to blame Jews for their problems, just as
the sixteen majority Muslim nations in the world blame the
Jews for their problems. No, this ain't whitey's problem. This
is cultural rot. And here's where it starts. At some point,
(30:29):
you're gonna have to break the cycle. But let's somewhere tonight.
A black man will sleep with a white sorry, a
black man will sleep with a black woman, I say
sleep with. There won't be any sleeping involved. There will
be a sex act. It will be unprotected. Now, it's
(30:53):
not that there aren't unwanted pregnancies among white folks, but
the percentage is far higher for blacks. There is a
recklessness with regard to that. But to be clear, it's
not just I don't care if she gets pregnant. It
(31:14):
is him and her wanting to get pregnant. She gonna
have a baby for him. That's how that goes. It's
an honor for him that she'll get pregnant carry his
baby to term, and he's not in any way involved,
nor is he expected to be. Well. Now you've created
(31:36):
a situation. We've seen the statistics. The problem isn't raised
in this country. It's fatherless homes. Turns out fatherless homes
with only a mother. In white and Hispanic communities, there's
a huge drop in the likelihood they'll graduate from college.
There's a huge increase in the likelihood they'll end up
(31:57):
in prison. All of those problems are exacerbated by one person,
a mother trying to raise a child and support a child.
It all starts right there at the fatherless home, and
then it continues with what's that father doing by day?
Is he working or is he gangbanging? Is he involved
(32:20):
in criminal activities? And you're just creating this cycle over
and over and over again, and no one wants to
stop it, No one wants to fix it, No one
wants to call it by its name. This is cultural right.
This isn't racism or slavery or jim Crow. This is
none of those sorts of things. This is behaviors that
(32:41):
are worse today than they were in the sixties. Many
black folk live better in the sixties than they do today.
There was pride, There was a desire to improve oneself.
There was a desire to contribute, to raise kids who
live better than you do. Not to day,
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