Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
It's that time, time, time, time, Luck and load.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Of Michael Verie show is.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
On the air.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
Blessed other merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are
the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed
(00:40):
other peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
Speaker 5 (00:49):
John.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
The contours of a potential peace plan are coming together
after President Putin's visit here in Alaska. Russia essentially wants
control of two territories in eastern Ukraine if they are
going to agree to cease fire everywhere else. Ukraine wants
security guarantees. They want Western troops to come into their
(01:11):
country and guarantee that Russia doesn't come back and try
anything again.
Speaker 6 (01:15):
If I can't awful better land, we're all my brothers,
walk hand and tell me why.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
It can't be.
Speaker 7 (01:30):
Oh.
Speaker 8 (01:34):
I mean we were together almost three hours and it
was very extensive and we agreed with a lot of points.
I mean a lot of points we're agreeing on, but
there's not that much, as you know, one or two
pretty significant items. But I think they can be rich.
Now it's really up to President Zolensky to get it done.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
President Zelenski has confirmed free White House visit on Monday.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
If I can avo my son, We're keep shining on
and want tell me why.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Why whoa why.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
That sun?
Speaker 9 (02:17):
I refuse to bend the knee to their next endless
war in Ukraine. I want peace, They want money, and
they want conflict, even if it means walking us into
the brink of World War three, which frankly it is doing.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
But as long as a man as a street, it
can redeem soul.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
It was determined by all that the best way to
end the horrific war between Russia and Ukraine is to
go directly to a peace agreement which would end the war,
and not a mere cease fire agreement, which oftentimes do
not hold up.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Can you say if you want Ukraine or Russia to win.
Speaker 9 (03:04):
This war, I want everybody to stop dying, dead, dying.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Russians and Ukrainians. I wanted to stop dying.
Speaker 7 (03:15):
Can talk?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I can stand.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
Dream my dreams.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Right headline New York Post. Zombie squirrels covered in oozing
warts spotted skulking through US backyards. According to report, squirrels
covered in puss filled wart like tumors have been spotted
(03:57):
skulking through backyards across the unit United States. The grotesque
looking gray squirrels photographed in states like Maine and across
parts of Canada, have appeared in recent months with oozing
sores and hairless patches on their heads and limbs. The
Daily Mail reported, citing a flurry of social media users
(04:21):
spotting the critters on Reddit and x. Photos and reports
of afflicted squirrels date back to mid twenty twenty three,
but sightings have surged across the summer. You know what
this made me think of? You remember the monkey pox?
(04:41):
So monkey pox happened when two dudes got but sexual,
and so it was a gay thing, and yet they
needed another. They're trying to bring back covid. By the way,
there is you remember Ramon, when you were growing up up,
did y'all ever have titties? The flip flop things get
(05:03):
a spongy tin. So every couple of years I'll find out,
you know, from somebody, hey titties is opening a store
as a husband wife team. I think they bought the
patent or whatever, and they tried every couple of years,
we would try to bring back titties because for a
minute there, titties were the deal. Remember they had they
(05:24):
had kind of the the what do you call the
tubes that would hold them, you know, they would hold
your deal down, and then they had the real spongy thing.
But I mean, I can remember there was a minute
there that titties were at everybody wanted to wear titties.
And then I don't know what happened, like somebody didn't
(05:44):
buy titties, and then somebody else didn't buy titses before
you know, they no titties, and you know, you're thirty
years later and you wake up and go, hey, I
didn't consciously choose not to buy another pair of titties.
What happened? But they went away. Well, there is a
group that is desperately trying to bring back COVID. Desperately.
(06:04):
They missed COVID. They missed the masks, they miss having
something to talk about, they missed the lockdown. There was
a sense of intensity. You know, it's like I'm excited
about football season. I'm really really keen on football season
starting back. There are people like that with COVID. Really well,
remember they did that with monkey pox. Remember that they
(06:26):
did it with monkey pox, where they rooted for a
monkey pox to really take over when it was really
just two dudes butt bang and monkey pick. Hey you
got your monkey pick. No, you're not gonna get monkeybox.
You're not gonna get. All you need is for dudes
to not have butt sex and we'll be fine. Nobody
else needs to worry. Although you you got to take
a vaccine. Remember that. And as soon as it came,
(06:49):
it went because people figured out, oh, I'm not gonna
get that. They were trying to hype it. They tried
to make monkey pox happen, but they couldn't quite get there.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
But there is also another warning from health officials of that,
I mean possible where disease out right it is called
monkey pox.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Monkey pox is upon us. It's an all the global threat.
Speaker 6 (07:21):
Let them most you get pumps that are plopped down
and somehow you spread it.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
And you wind up dead. I said, hey, monkey pox
is a big deal. If you doubt, turn on the news.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
It's a foxy scn and no means it's a plot.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Globalist can use monkey pox.
Speaker 7 (07:37):
Another bi monkey Pops is spreading around the world. World
House The organization says there are eighty super cases monkey.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Poxes scare you, I mean, of course something less.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
You're straight illustrator dedicated to a single lever.
Speaker 6 (07:52):
Maybe you can make it out of this, okay, but you.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Coulday and from mysterus, or sometimes you.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Try by There's a fuel vanished from the earth, from
the Danic monkey poss It gonna.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Make you die.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Monkey Box, Monkey Box, Everything is out of the stroll,
Monkey Box, Monkey Boss.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Travel over with your holes and polls.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Monkey Box, Monkey Box, wherever it's not a joke, Monkey.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Box, Monkey Box. As Michael Berry Show continues, gag it
all my West Rights Czar Joint. The clown saved my
(08:43):
life in nineteen ninety five. It was the summer of
ninety five in Yazoo City, Mississippi, and I had just
graduated in high school. It sound like gonna be a
Jerry Clower story, but it's not. I worked at a
sporting goods store and my buddy John Chisholm walks in
and slaps down a flyer for a wrestling show at
the VFW Hall. I hand him a twenty dollars bill
(09:03):
and said, get us a case of Natty. I'm in.
There were two hours between me getting off work and
the show starting. We told about twenty of our friends
and we all end up at the VFW Hall, high
on confidence and low on common sense. Fast forward to
the middle of the show and Doink the freaking Crown
clown runs out. Now our group was rowdy and really
(09:26):
bringing life to the show. Abdullah the Butcher he'll later
be referred to as abd see you're atb Sorry. ATV
comes out and we're giving him hell. He walks right
up to me and does the stand in the middle
of the rope and pushes the toe rope up and says,
I'll kick your ass. I wasn't gonna let that go,
(09:48):
not in front of my friends and my girlfriends the
same time. So I jump up, get in the ring
and went full hacksawdougan on him and I start stomping
my boot. ATV had a look in his eyes that
I could feel. I was at the peak of a
find out moment when Doink Bear hugs me and says
you better sit out. Upon hearing those extremely wise words,
(10:09):
I rolled out of the ring to a very embarrassed girlfriend.
Did you know they had bouncers at the VFW Hall,
Well they do. I was thrown out by one of
my Poppas's friends. About thirty minutes later, while I'm tailgating
in the parking lot. Outwalks the champ Big Mike Rose,
and he looks at me and says, hey, Turbo, you're
coming in with me. It was the main event. Very
(10:32):
few times have I ever been greeted with a standing ovation,
but here I was in the middle of about seventy
five drunk rednecks cheering my name. Fast forward about thirty
years later, and I watched a documentary on ATB and
he loved it when fans would get in the ring
so he could beat the hell out of them. It
even showed old crip clips of him just skull dragging
rowdy fans. Basically, Doink saved my life. True story, and
(10:57):
I can provide eyeball witnesses that won't be necessary. I
believe the story. You believe the story. I don't think
he's exaggerated a bit. I like to imagine him thirty
years ago, and how eager and excited and full of
piston vinegar he was, and some booze in him, and
he gonna get in there with Ubdill of the butcher.
(11:19):
What could possibly go wrong? Paul Jacob, iird the pitmaster
at Jacob's Barbecue. You remember there was a barb There
was a break in at a black owned barbecue joint
down in uh I guess that'd be Was it Sunnyside?
Where was it? I'm trying to remember where it was.
(11:42):
Was that off two eighty eight South when my name
was Sunnyside? Anyway, and they had broken into his pit
and stolen a lot of his stuff and all that.
We ended up raising over ten thousand dollars for that fellow.
How about it. Hiram Clark was Harum Clark, that's right.
So he sent a message. There's an article about him
in the chronicle, and he sent a nice message to us,
(12:02):
he said, Zarr. Whenever I'm blessed to have the stage
in the microphone, I always like to tell my Michael
Berry story. It was Sunday around three o'clock yesterday. It
was Sunday, around three o'clock yesterday. Our phone started ringing.
On the second call, an elder gentleman by the name
of Willie Hartwell called and said he was reading the
Houston Chronicle. I just wanted to reach out to say
(12:24):
that he's going to come by one day, I said,
mister Hartwell, I was in the chronicle. He said, yes, sir,
it was an amazing article written about you, and I'm
coming by to try your barbecue. I said, sir, we'd
be honored to have you. I got a phone, I
got on Google, went to Uston Chronicle and there it was.
I was literally in tears. Barbecue colonist J. C. Reid
had written an amazing article about me, just grateful, and
(12:46):
I thought I would share it with you. Paul Jacob Pittmaster,
you know he opened that second location we went and
looked at at Beltwagh and to eighty eight. Is that right?
I got another email this morning. Midsize company Growing wants
(13:08):
a banking relationship, and I had to tell them I
don't have a banking sponsor at present just yet, but
I am working on it now. Before I know you mean, well,
but if you email me and give me the name
of a bank, I want to explain how this works.
I have always been very transparent about how my business works.
(13:31):
I think there's a virtue to that. Now not everybody,
not everybody likes it, and some people, some people need
to smoke in mirrors because they don't they can't handle
the truth that business is business. I don't call on
businesses and ask them to sponsor the show. First of all,
I want them to believe in what we do. We've
got show sponsors who when I call and ask them
(13:53):
how business is, they say, you don't need to worry
about that. I damn sure do. This is a partnership.
I want your business to succeed. That gives me a
great deal of professional success. I need that. And they'll
say no, no, no. The reason we sponsor the show
is we believe in what you're doing. Well, that's great,
(14:14):
you can still believe in what I'm doing, But I
want this to be a good investment and I want
you to be very successful out of it and make
a lot of money. That is important to me. And
I want you to take good care of of our listeners.
That's also this triangle works when all those things are
at play. So I don't knowing that you like your bank,
(14:37):
or there's a good bank that's good, But there is
a good, locally owned, invested in the community bank that
wants to pick up more business accounts growing companies out
there and wants to be a partner with our show,
(15:00):
and we will find the right bank. I'm not going
to rush into that if that is you or if
you know someone you think that, maybe have them email
me through our website Michael Berryshow dot com. That simple,
We're not you don't don't. Don't send me the name
of the bank or the banker or whatever else. I'm
not going to call them. That's that's not how this
(15:21):
process works. Once that bank comes on board, it is
my goal that they would be the official bank of
the Michael Berry Show for as long as I'm on
the radio. The way that Connie Stagner is the official
jeweler of the Michael Berry Shower, Kenny Duncan Jr. Is
the official gold and silver and coin god. That that's
(15:42):
how that's how this works, when it works right, Like.
Speaker 10 (15:51):
Mac Aberry's showing.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Everybody's doing a podcast now a long time. That's the thing,
is doing a podcast. I don't know who's listening to
these podcasts, but everybody's doing a podcast. I smoked cigars
with Dan Cockdail yesterday and he's doing a podcast. I
don't know what he's talking about, but he's doing a podcast.
He says, a bunch of people are listening. I don't know.
(16:21):
Criminal defense attorney, you can't always trust him, you know,
you gotta trust but verify kind of deal. Who else
did he tell me was doing a podcast? Somebody else
was doing a podcast. I get a message from Chance
McLain this morning. He's doing a podcast. He's on his
way to Oregon to record. Obviously, we have a lot
(16:43):
of listeners in Oregon. It was our first market outside
of Houston. So he's doing heritage. He's doing a couple
of heritage films there and so he tries to cluster
them together because minimize about it downtown. And he said, hey,
I want to get your thoughts pick your brain on
this podcast. I've learned that nobody takes my advice anyway,
so I don't give advice as freely as I used to,
(17:05):
because what people really want to do when they say, hey,
I want to pick your brain on I'm doing a podcast,
what they really are doing is, hey, I'm doing a podcast,
and I want to tell you about it. Okay, we'll
just put it in writing and tell me about it.
So he's hiring what he calls is an intern. It's
just a little sketchy, but there is a reference to
(17:25):
paying them. I think what he's trying to do is
keep from having somebody come over that needs a full
time job, right, But I thought you'd get a kick
out of out of the classified ad he's taken out
for it. Okay, here we go. I guess some music
is his music for an audition to be Chance McLain's
(17:49):
quote unquote intern for his podcast about heritage films. I
don't know that it was that serious, but okay, that'll work.
That's probably one of my what were your other options? No,
(18:10):
it's not not for Chance. He's not that serious. No,
makes the job too serious. Nah, he's kind of gotten
(18:32):
you know where. He listens to a lot of business
podcasts now and he goes to podcast conventions. He taught
me into going to one. Does that taste for called founders?
You gotta come to this? So I listened to one episode.
It was a Jimmy Buffett episode and it's about the
(18:53):
personalities of people who create companies. It was a decent podcast,
and he wanted me to come to this thing. So
what I should have done is sent an email and said, Hey,
I'm Michael Berry. I like to come to your thing,
and they would have probably let me come for free,
(19:14):
just hoping I would mention it. But I'm not feeling that,
so I send ten thousand dollars, which I never do.
Register under my middle name Christian, so I Christian Barry.
It's in Austin. We ride up together. He's just gotten
his tesla, so we his cyber truck. At this point,
this was maybe last summer, maybe the one before, I
(19:37):
don't know. So we go to this conference and it's
it's in some facility. He'll be able to tell me
what it was. Anyway, it's out, it's out away from
everything in Austin, and it's got a central building and
then it's got some residential reunits around and it's like
a conference center. It's you know, like a conference retreat center.
(20:00):
And it's for people who are founders of companies. Supposedly,
well you already know where this is going. Most of
the people who are there are people who want to
sell services to founders of companies. But anyway, I get
there and Chance is so excited, like he's he's like
a sixteen year old kid from the country come to
(20:21):
Houston to see Journey, his favorite band. You know, he's
he's so excited. So before the event starts on the
first day we're there, which I think was Thursday or
maybe it was Friday. No, it had to be Saturday.
Before the first event starts, there is a cocktail hour.
So we get there and he said, if you don't mind,
(20:43):
I'm going to separate from you. I like to maximize
a number of people I'm going to interact with. And
I said, knock yourself out. And earlier in life I
would have done the same thing, but instead I stood
over to the side and drank a beer. And he
was so excited. He's talking to people and they're all bs,
and you know, the business they're starting, and this whole thing.
And I stay there and then the first then you
(21:04):
go inside and so they've had the icebreaker, you've had
your drinks, you've met people. Business cards are being passing
now because some of these people are tech people. They
don't do business cards. They they they have sex between
their phones, you know, they pair their phones up and oh, yeah,
I'm gonna email you.
Speaker 10 (21:22):
I'm gonna email you, and I'm gonna text you, and
i'm gonna zoom you and I'm gonna send my card.
And I'm thinking, oh, dear God, what did you sign
up for? And then you go in and and then
the gathering begins and the founder of the podcast Founders,
is really impressed with himself, so he begins for twenty
(21:43):
minutes to talk about how great he is and this
podcast is this, and this podcast is that, and if
I want to hear somebody brag on themselves, I look
in the mirror. I'm not here for that, so I
slip out the back.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
My wife and kids were in Austin and I was
going to join them when this whole thing. I think
we're going to be in Austin for the week, and
I took an uber and I was in the house
we were renting before Chance realized I had left, and
he goes, I knew you were going to leave, because
he knew that wasn't my scene. But anyway, back to Chance,
(22:18):
here is the classified ad music my shro all right,
he says, He's posted us to Twitter and probably nowhere else,
but I don't know to spend a lot of time.
Morning's very excited. Here we are. My company needs an
(22:38):
intern for a podcast pilot. We need someone who can
research like Clarice Clarice Starling and right like Hunter S.
Thompson on a ninety six hour wild Turkey Bender. Pay
is technically money, but beer money, not rent money. If
the show works, then it upgrades to rent money. If not,
(22:59):
you get scar experience and I'll make up some wild
and flattering stuff about you for your resume. If you
love podcasts, can self start know enough AI to cheat
on a test and get away with it and want
to learn reach out? I give you the mission. You
check in once a week and in a month we
see where we are. You're probably a college aged human.
(23:22):
It's part time. I figure about a month of work
fun people only weird is fine if you pass as normal.
No doomsday bunker, flat Earth, purple hair, Warhammer forty K
weirdos unless you hide it real well. I'm trying to
think who I know that would fit in that category?
(23:45):
What is Warhammer forty K? It's a video game? Okay,
is a Warhammer forty K weirdo? Does that go?
Speaker 9 (23:57):
Or?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I mean, are you a weirdo? If you play that
game you have a certain set? Okay, Okay, so that's
not that's not a mainstream video game. That's a you're
kind of weird video game. Do you play it? You
don't play it? Who do we know that would play it?
You think Alex? It works for rod Ryan would play it.
(24:19):
Who that we know? Not our circle kind of thing?
Is it violent? Oh, it's goblins and nights. I never
liked that stuff, and then I never even read Tolkiens.
Speaker 8 (24:36):
The interior is the butterflies with the they're all Duncans,
and you know Duncan means yo yos.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
So the engineering team was here all weekend working on
our phone lines to try to improve some of the
problems we've had with him over the past year, and
we learned this morning and I guess they were still
having some problems. So we're going to take a call
just to test the phone lines. Stuttering. Kevin is first
(25:15):
in line, and unfortunately, if you didn't know, he stutters
and you're one of our engineers, a dang thing. Yeah,
it makes the callers sound like they're stuttering. No, no, stuttering.
Kevin actually does stutter, so that has nothing to do
with it. Stuttering Kevin.
Speaker 7 (25:32):
Yes, yes, I know exactly what Warhammer for the K is.
It is a combat war game using figurines.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Kevin, We're working on our phone, so I don't know
how much of what I'm not hearing, well is you
versus the phone? Can you take us off a bluetooth.
Take us off of any speaker phone, talk right to
into the microphone clearly, so we can see what we're
working with here. Alright Does that mean okay? Much better? Uh?
Speaker 5 (26:07):
All right?
Speaker 7 (26:07):
Warhammer fort o K is a combat board game and
on it uses figurines and it is played about like
Jentles and dragons with the dice rolls.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Do you play it? No?
Speaker 7 (26:28):
I do not. When I was.
Speaker 5 (26:31):
Heavy into the comic, I became friends with a lot
of people who do play it. I do not know
what the character classes are. I never dove into it.
Speaker 7 (26:42):
I just saw it as a lot of work, but
it was. It did not interest me.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
I was on a deep dive last week of classic
country music and I ended up on something you can
find on YouTube called Burt Reynolds Live from Nashville. And
Burt Reynolds had a production company, and this would have
been sometime late seventies, and his production company was creating
(27:14):
content and I guess they were trying to sell it.
I don't Maybe it did get picked up, I don't know.
And it was from the Governor's mansion of Tennessee and
in the room sitting around the living room was Dolly
and Porter Wagner. So maybe it was earlier because I
think they were carrying on. Their body language was very telling.
(27:37):
Minnie Pearl, Roger Miller, Charlie Rich, Jim Naghbors and Glenn
Campbell and Mel Tillis. And the reason I bring this
up is that Mel Tillis told stories about how he
(27:57):
learned to deal with his stuttering, how he would sing,
and everybody there had a Meltilla's story, and so they
would ask him to tell their particular story, and then
he would go into telling the story. And his unique
narrative style, including the stutter, made the stories so good,
(28:22):
and it made the stories funnier. It was almost as
if he was faking the stutter. I know he wasn't,
but it was almost as if he was faking the
stutter because the stutter added so much to the story.
Do you know, Ramon, do you know that Ray Stevens
(28:44):
wrote a song? He took Jerry Klower's coon hunting story
Knock him Out, John, and he made a song out
of it. Did you know that? Would you like to
hear that?
Speaker 4 (28:59):
All?
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Right?
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Then we will play that now because most people probably
don't know it, and a lot of our folks, our
kind of people loved that story and love Ray Stevens,
and so as a special treat here it.
Speaker 6 (29:11):
Is we down yonder and miss sit just outside of
Yazu City, Jery Clyower and all his friends and go
out and haunt the right coon. Then keep the long
man named John one tree climbing the son of a
(29:32):
gun John's shunnet up a treating a coon or tree
coming down soon a time.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Guy John was a real sporting man. He said, give
him a con a chance if you can. Don't y'all
got shooting no coon now he't warn him in advance.
Speaker 6 (29:47):
I knock him down to the ground and let him
fight it out with that pack of house. It'll be slim,
but at least he'll have a chance.
Speaker 2 (29:57):
And I can still hear Jersey.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Oh am my child, nah am my child knocked that
good right ahead of that sweet gum tree. Nah am
my child, nah am I chid knocking down here to
Marshal Clovis, To dogs and me.
Speaker 6 (30:20):
One night they heard old Jerry's dog brumming with the
bart from downing his tummy.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Jerry answered him, said, brummy, talk to me. And all
of the other dogs showing.
Speaker 6 (30:33):
In verty Soon they were at trails end.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
And they looked back. The dogs had run a mgon
up a big old tree out.
Speaker 6 (30:41):
The dogs had a bigger watered them some and the base.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Of that tree pansaponium.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Before you do it, John, and ship it right up
that tree.
Speaker 9 (30:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
He disappeared up above the leaves. And then we heard
a foot curtin scream.
Speaker 6 (30:57):
I said, Jesus, hell.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Nacking out child, ning out job, knock that could not
out of speak, cheating ning my child, nhing my job
knocking down here to Marshal Clovis, the dogs and me.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Then John here, hush your crazy fools. This thing ain't
no dang raccoon.
Speaker 6 (31:31):
It's a lynx, a big old hot tail the cat.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
He said, shoot this.
Speaker 10 (31:37):
Thing for heaven and sake.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
I've had that all that I can't And we said
should we give the chance John?
Speaker 6 (31:44):
And John just said you shoot this cattle.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
John was screaming, and the dogs will being and the
lips were seeking, and the tree was sweat and Jery
said we.
Speaker 6 (31:56):
Can't get off clean shutting child, y'all for hidden by
the raids and right the bits to the ruckus. We
heard John say, jes shoot up about us because one
of us has got to have some rid name. John.
There's something to fill out of that tree with a
(32:16):
big old hood, lot of their feet.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
A dog was like, like iess red meat. All of
a sudden we saw with John he wasn't having a leg.
Bull had to put lay him. That chat paid his.
Speaker 10 (32:32):
Red treat.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
When he got raised. Stephen is doing Jerry Flower. I mean,
let's go back to that. Now. We got Muslims and
dudes in dressed protesting in the streets.