Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's that time time, time, time, luck and load. The
Michael Varry Show is on the air. I was just
(00:25):
tell anything Moan during the break and he doesn't realize
how big The Wheel of Fortune was. When I was
growing up, like must have been early to mid eighties.
It would come on at six point thirty, so right
after the news, and I don't know if it was
a highest rated show it had. It wasn't our house.
(00:46):
And I remember my mom would walk outside if I
was out shooting baskets or doing something outside washing the car.
She'd said the wheels on, and you'd go running in
and there was Pat Sajack and Vanna, which I think
they're still there. Anyway. They had the catchiest song, We'll
watch Her. When that song got in your head, it
(01:09):
had to be the best song for a TV show
in terms of just complete earworm. Anyway, watching the reckoning
that is occurring with John Wayne mccornyn is an absolute treat,
that arrogant bastard, that arrogant bastard having to come and
(01:35):
pander and watch it. I'm honestly telling you, it is
at least as bad as watching Biden last year, watching
him have to do things for the common people. He
posts a picture last week of himself in front of
trump Berger, the one on Chimney Rock, just north of
(02:01):
And it's kind of funny because it was an old
Checkers and the Checkers, I don't know if it's the
same owner or someone else bought it and then it
became something else, you know, like Tom's Burger or whatever.
And it's in an awkward little spot, and there's a
water Burger around the corner, and that area is kind
of rough anyway, and the road is really busted up there,
(02:21):
and the traffic is always bad, so it wasn't making it.
And I don't know if it's doing any better as
a Trump Burger, but throwing the name Trump on there
all of a sudden is gonna draw people in. So
Cornan goes and stands in front of the Trump Burger
puts both thumbs up in the cheesiest way, like here,
I am a trump Burger enjoying a good old fashioned
(02:44):
American burger, just like you. It's so terrible, and he posts,
or somebody posts for him. It's the last day a
small business week, so I decided to stop by Trump
Burger in Houston. Exclamation mark, Yeah, that's exciting. Stop by
a small business and show your support. Okay, so we
(03:06):
got him coming to Houston. Needs to tell us he's
in Houston. We've got him at the Trump Burger because
remember he's the Maga guy. He's not and support small business. Well,
I wasn't really sure if I was going to be
for Corning or not. But if he's telling people to
support small business, heck, I'm not liking. It's so bad.
(03:28):
It is so bad. Let's take a look at one
of the issues of late where he has had to
do it about face. Remember when he pandered to Muslims
back in twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Hi, I'm Texas Senator John Corny. I want to take
a moment to say I know this year's Ramadan will
be different from those before, and that's why it's important
to keep the spirit of hope in community alive. I
wish you all good fast and that you and your
friends and families stay safe during this challenging time.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Obama, and then there was this, so what happens in
the leadership race? Are you certain that you will run
for re election? And here you are? You do you
think I mean God willing? Well, yeah, I mean God
Inah in Shallah, which means if people translate it as
(04:24):
if God is willing. But it's important to understand that
is the Muslim reference to Allah being the God, not
just God in a small G or even a capital G.
It is the specific God in Shallah, if God wills it.
That was meant to be something that Whitey didn't notice,
(04:44):
but Muslims caught and they would go, ah, look at that.
He's pandering to us. Now now that he's he's trailing
Ken Paxton badly in the Republican primary, guess what he's doing.
He's calling for an investigation into the community outside of Dallas,
(05:05):
the Muslim community that's called epic, and he's claiming that
Ken Paxton is behind it. He's going to run the
nastiest campaign you have ever seen. It is going to
be so brutal. They're going to have people convinced that
Ken Paxton is the devil himself because that's the only
(05:27):
way he can win. Remember I told you earlier that
when a person has to criticize their opponent as the
only reason, that's what they had to do for Joe
Biden against Trump, and then for Kamala against Trump, that's
what Cornin has to do. He can't raise his positives
because Republican primary voters don't like him. So the only
thing he can do is convince you that Ken Paxton
(05:48):
raped your daughter. And if you'll believe that Ken Paxton
raped your daughter or stole your car or cannibalized your grandfather,
he was a part of the original Donar Party. If
he can convince you of those things, then maybe you'll go, well,
I guess I'll go ahead over o'cornyan, because pass are bad.
And that's exactly what they're going to do. We knew
when he wanted to be Senate Majority Leader he would
(06:10):
suddenly become maga. And that's what John Wayne mccornyan does.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
John Wayne mccornyn wants to be your Senate Majority Leader
And wha is that? Because you are maga and John Wayne,
by God mccornyan is the Maga is some bitch in Texas.
Have you catch him at a monster truck rally. Chances
are you'll catch him in one of them dazzled Maga
cowboy hats in a red, white and blue made in
(06:42):
America three piece suit. How maga is mccornyn His playlist
has two songs YMCA God Bless the USA. He drives
a Ford F three point fifty duly with over one
hundred tattered flags furling in the bed. Half of them
say make America great again, half say let's go Brandon,
(07:05):
and half say FJB. John Wayne mccornyn was not a
math major. He majored in America. And it's going to
take a leader that majored in America to be the
majority leader in the Senate of America. A MAGA leader
whose everyday Carrie kit includes a Gerber multitool, a Timex
(07:25):
Ironman Watch, an iPhone six ridge wallet in a well
worn pocket. Constitution. So call your senators America and leave
a message that you support super mega Ultramega John Wayne mccornyn,
who is definitely not a squishy rhino, that is clearly
(07:46):
incentivized to keep the status quo, the status quo John
Wayne mccorny, John Wayne.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Show Ramon, that is in the conversation.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
This seals for.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Greatest vocal performance of all time. It is I'm not
saying it is the greatest, but it's in the conversation,
and it's going to be a top fiber Minnie Ripperton
Loving You for My Money is up there. Now. I
got a thing for Stevie Nicks, and there's about three
(08:44):
songs by Stevie Nicks that are going to be up
there for me that are really strong. And then I
got Dolly and I Will Always Love You. And this
may surprise people because when I ask what song I
asked the other day for the name of a song
(09:04):
pre two thousand that other people like that you don't,
and I had several people email me Whitney Houston, I
Will Always Love You, and I don't understand that. I think.
I think that's a phenomenal, phenomenal vocal performance. It's so
(09:24):
different than Dolly that it doesn't threaten Dolly. It's a
very very different deal. But you know what, I noticed
that the songs that people said they didn't like that
everybody else likes were some of the greatest songs, but
Human Rhapsody, Hotel California, Stairway to Heaven, the fact that
(09:47):
some people said Freebird, and I think what happens is
those songs get so overplayed, and in fact, most of
the songs that people said that about were not songs
that are goofy, you know, like ak breaking Heart. Okay,
I could see where you'd say, I don't really like
that because it's a concept song. It's a novelty song.
It's not meant to be pure art. It was a
(10:09):
novelty song that I'm not sure Billy ray Cyrus understood
was a novelty song. So he thought he was, you know, somebody,
and the whole thing kind of worked with the mullet
and and and the image and all that, and it
lasted long enough till his daughter could could become a
legitimate star. And she has legitimate star power and and
(10:31):
had incredible pipes, and now she's got that thing that
vibe where even though her voice is busted, she's got
a star power that you know, she's the real star
in the family. But anyway, it surprised me how many
songs were songs that are that are epic songs, they're
they're in the Parthenon of great songs, but people didn't
(10:56):
like them because they're so overplayed. That was more common
than song that you know, just people just didn't like
because they didn't like anyway. For my money, Mini Ripperton
and female vocal performances is up there, and it is
just that darned good. There was a porch pooper in
(11:21):
the Los Angeles area caught on video giving shall we say,
special deliveries to at least two different homes. The story
from Fox eleven. Oh, that's Chad's prep, but it's from
Jim's audio. Rolled over. It's titled number ten ten. Actually
(11:45):
you know what?
Speaker 5 (11:46):
Hold that?
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Hold that because there's two more bits of audio that
go with it, So just roll that over to the
next segment. You had a caller for me, No, no,
I won't have time to get to the whole thing.
And it's a series. It's three bits that work too.
I'm not gonna yell at you, no, no, no. Did
you want to offer a female vocalist that would be
in the conversation for greatest performance of all time? Yeah?
(12:08):
Three little what?
Speaker 6 (12:09):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Three little birds?
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Krim Bailey ray oh wow. Okay. See those don't get
considered because they that's a style of singing. Can you
play that song? Be okay? By Ingrid Michaelson. That is
a style of singing. I don't know what it's called.
There are certain singers that do this and they can't
(12:35):
be considered serious. Listen, I just.
Speaker 7 (12:38):
Want to be okay, be okay, be okay. I just
wanta Bell Caddy Day. I just won'ta be okay, be okay,
be okay, I just wanta beill Caddy.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Day this weekend walking through a CVS And I've never
heard of it before. And apparently this girl is a
big name now. I think it's Ingrid. Michael Center read something.
Who knew that somebody that young could be named Ingrid? Today? Interesting?
But anyway, that style of voting, that style of that
style of singing that Karin Bailey Ray has as well,
(13:14):
doesn't get considered in the in the serious. Are you
know who else Roberta killing me softly? You've got that.
You've got to put Roberta in that conversation. All right?
Did you want me to go to Ed's phone call?
Speaker 6 (13:26):
Is that right?
Speaker 8 (13:28):
Ed?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
You're and Michael Berry sho go ahead.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
Michael, I didn't know you're ever going to get to me.
But uh, anyway, you can't understand why the Democrat judges
you're letting people out here. It is the member of
When Obama got elected, he said, I want a civilian
police force as large, as well funded, and as well
armed as the US military. Why would you want that
(13:52):
now hold on, make the crime so bad in the
cities that people beg for it. Because the US military
won't take over this country. But a that's sort of
like dsays will. That's what it's all about. That's why
they're coordinated. They all do it. It's not by happenstances.
(14:15):
It's pure evil.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Interesting, very interesting, All right, Ramon, who was the other
one you want me to get to, Josh, you're on
the Michael Berry Show.
Speaker 6 (14:30):
I think's wrong with all them Democrats, all them teeth
and no toothbrush. That's why they're so hornering. But hey,
the reason I call it because I started something called
the Houston AI Ecosystem Initiative, and uh, I know that
Trump was very excited about that over there with the Solties.
The reason I was bringing that up is because I'm
trying to get ahold of Pete Hagsts Department of Defense
(14:50):
and lets them know I think Houston has a lot
more potential than what's what we're allowed, possibly because of
these all these political games going on, and all this
bureaucratic red ape and restrictions on the money and voting
and you know, all this thing that you're complaining about
now when I feel like we could just go straight
director for the people and say, hey, why don't we
just put our money together and do what we want
(15:11):
to do in a dotal park vote.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
On See did you see that the instacart CEO just
joined open Ai.
Speaker 7 (15:19):
To the keeper the store and dissolve.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I'd give you new I'm a wheel Watcher came from
song by the Occasions. I believe it's in the sixties.
Wasn't it wrong called girl watcher? It was a play
on that for the commercial fort for the promo of
it front Porch pirates forget that. Remember Ramon had his
(15:51):
stolen last year by the Amazon delivery driver and was
it Amazon or was a GPS FedEx by the FedEx delivered?
They never did anything about that, did they nice? And
then he was mad about it and then a guy Anyway,
there's more to that story that I'm not allowed to tell.
An Amazon delivery driver in the LA area caught on
(16:12):
video giving very special deliveries to at least two homes.
Fox eleven with the story.
Speaker 9 (16:17):
My kids sit there all the time on this on
the stairs, they play basketball and it's gross.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
A real stinker.
Speaker 10 (16:22):
Tamora the dooy got a special delivery with her Amazon
package number two.
Speaker 9 (16:27):
Just right here in front of the garage, just right
there on the steps. That's where it happened.
Speaker 10 (16:33):
Her husband left their Woodland Hills home early Sunday morning
to get her Mother's Day breakfast and found the smelly surprise.
Speaker 11 (16:39):
This is where the package was delivered, at the top
of the stairs. Poop and as she walked over here,
as she was walking out.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
And through hern up and it's over the side.
Speaker 10 (17:00):
On a roll. The delivery driver pulling up her bridges
does it again down the road.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
It's really gross.
Speaker 9 (17:05):
And then to find out a little bit later that
she did it again about thirty minutes after she left
my house, she went to someone else's house and then
did the same thing. That's like malicious, it's personal. It's disgusting.
Speaker 10 (17:17):
With signs warning of recording and progress. The driver was
caught on camera shortly after urinating on this lawn. The
homeowner too upset to talk about it.
Speaker 9 (17:26):
We could We both couldn't sleep last night. I was
think after processing and I'm like, could she come back?
You know, I heard she lost her job. Will she
be angry? And now I have to think about these
things and I shouldn't have to, but I am honestly.
Speaker 10 (17:36):
Amazon says the driver was an independent contractor and send
us this statement, We're deeply disturbed by the unacceptable behavior
of this delivery driver and apologize to the customers involved.
We immediately identified the driver and they are no longer
delivering on behalf of Amazon. A bit relieved, but they're
taking extra precautions.
Speaker 9 (17:55):
Oh, just glad we have cameras, and we're probably gonna
get more cameras, just because again, we live in place
where we can't trust, you know, even delivery drivers.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
At this point, it's always the same, these stories. It
starts with the funny headline, some silly words of it's
our real stinker. There's always gonna be the hoe key phrases,
and then somebody pooped, right, and that's really the story.
But then they have to take it to the next level.
It's really traumatic and this is criminal and you should
(18:24):
be able to do this. It's crap. Okay, we got it.
They're pooping there. Nobody likes it. I'm surprised they didn't
have the chief of police. You know, this is the
sort of thing. This is not funny, this is serious.
People could be injured. We take this very seriously. There's
usually that whole element. They forgot that one there. Remember
when we had a porch pooper in the heights. It
(18:46):
had even caught the eye of CNN's Anderson Pooper.
Speaker 8 (18:51):
Time for the ridiculous and I we're adding these cereal pooper.
That's right, the cereal pooper. It's a mystery unfolding down
in Houston and tonight authorities are hoping surveillance footage will
help squeeze out a culprit.
Speaker 12 (19:00):
The man scene in these surveillance pictures is someone deputies
are looking for. He's accused of committing a strange crime.
Speaker 8 (19:09):
A strange crime indeed, and a most unwelcome reminder of
the old slogan everything is Bigger in Texas.
Speaker 12 (19:14):
Police say he's been repeatedly going to the bathroom in
people's front yards, leaving behind a stinky mess for homeowners
to clean up.
Speaker 8 (19:22):
Love the surveillance footage. Now, look, I know this isn't
the most pleasant topics, and I'm sorry to dump it
on you, but as you'll see, it's gotten the attention
of the local news, so we can assume it's Houston's
top priority, or at least Houston's number two priority.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
It's not okay, people.
Speaker 8 (19:36):
It's good to see the residents are keeping a sense
of humor about it.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Though you can't blame them for being steaming mad.
Speaker 8 (19:41):
You can only imagine how eager that must be to
wipe themselves clean of this defecating delinquent. But with this story,
just when you think you're done, you realize there's still
a little bit more left to go.
Speaker 12 (19:51):
Oh God, If you look closely in the upper left corner,
those white things are pieces of paper towel. One homeowner
tells Local two. He brings him along to clean himself up,
then leaves them behind on the sidewalk.
Speaker 8 (20:04):
I mean, really, come on, now, like the local rock
star he's become. When the mystery man has done with
his performance, he drops the mic and exits stage right.
Except in this case, the mic is a paper towel
covered with well, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
What, I think a ratitat scat. Anderson Cooper enjoyed that
story just a little too much in what might be
hiding underneath his disgust could be a little chuck Berry fetish.
And you didn't think Chance McLean would miss this opportunity
(20:37):
to write a song about it did you.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
Well.
Speaker 13 (20:49):
I order some socks and a brand new Folk for
Amazon Prime.
Speaker 6 (20:52):
Stay to my home.
Speaker 13 (20:53):
But when the package arrive, go on a sight especial delivery.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
In the broody line.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
The broad daylight, in the broad daylight.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Oh, the porch pooper's dropping a douce, crying on my steps.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
She's cutting it loose. The number two is her gift.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
It's playing to see porchpooper, porch poople, porch pooper got.
Speaker 13 (21:12):
Me Samarra's husband laying out for a treat Mother's Day
breakfast is something sweet. But they're on the porch, a smelly,
surprised mister Hanky staring at him right in the eyes
of porch.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Poopers, dropping a deuce, prying on my steps. She's cutting
it loose.
Speaker 14 (21:37):
The number two's her gift.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
It's playing to see porch pooper, porch pooper, porch pooper
got me down the road.
Speaker 14 (21:53):
She strupped again another front porch. She's gotten no shame
caught on camera. She's taking a whiz this Chriina's got
shoes and there almost shoulbies whoo. Arizona says she went
one of allows, an independent contractor. We cut at her house,
but Samara still shaking.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
She can't sleep at.
Speaker 14 (22:13):
Night, worry the pooper might come back for a fight, or.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
The porch poopers dropping the no right on my steps.
She's cutting the loose number twos or gift it's playing
to see porch poop, a porch pooper. Porch pooper got me.
Speaker 14 (22:35):
So check your packages and watch where you step.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
The porch pooper's out there. She's got no regret.
Speaker 13 (22:40):
From Woodland Hills to who knows where this driver's leaving gifts.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
You don't want to share a topic that excuse. Mostly
male women don't fund pooping stories to be nearly as
funny as we dudes do. Where we had to poop,
(23:06):
when we didn't have toilet paper, when you were out
in the woods, how bad you had to go, how
explosive it was. Women don't find that. Younger women under forty,
some of them have more of a guy's sensibility to that.
Older women. That's just something they don't want you to
talking about at all. That that's not good. You don't
talk about it, just want it at all. After she left,
(23:28):
I looked born he was hiding behind the TV poop
and the Michael Berry Shaw Please clap please please clap.
Yesterday I started to Know It morning show, referencing an
(23:53):
email I had received from a woman who twenty years,
twenty seven years into teaching, was packing up her classroom
for retirement, and with mixed emotions. She's ready to retire
and travel and have more time and do those sorts
of things, but she's also sad because this has been
a major part of her life. And I could just
(24:15):
imagine her taking down the cute little things that teachers
put up. I was always moved by that. You know,
when you return to school and you go in there
and the teacher, they're so excited you're coming into their classroom,
and you know they've spent their in service days getting
everything ready, with all the cutesy little stuff on the walls.
(24:37):
I had great teachers, and I loved and adore them.
I still feel very fondly that they gave me part
of their life and their patience and love and encouragement.
And it makes a difference, it really does. I'll never
forget Ramond. I had a teacher and you talk about,
you know, steadfastness and patience, but also discipline, and she
(25:00):
had assigned us a paper and I had done it
and she was getting after me and getting after me.
It was gonna cause a problem. And she kept saying,
you're gonna have to turn in your essay. You were
going to have to turn in your essay. I was like,
I ain't no snitch. Yeah, yeah, I got you didn't
I I got you. See the whole setup, the emotion,
(25:23):
that drawing it out, the humanizing it. You didn't see
it coming. That's quality right there. You know how invested
I had to be in that story to get to
that point. Yeah, I a llured you see, you're always oh,
it's just gonna be a joke. There's gonna be a joke.
But you had no idea that was coming none. A
teacher asked his students to share what their dads do
(25:46):
for a living. Little Johnny said, well, my dad's a
stripper of a gay club and he turns tricks in
the alley to earn extra money. After class, a teacher
pulled him aside and said, Johnny, is your I had
really a stripper at a gay club who turns tricks
in the alley to make extra money. Little Johnny said, no, ma'am.
(26:08):
He's a reporter for CNN. But I was too embarrassed
to say that. During a Man on the Street interview
in Mexico, people were asked how they felt about Donald
Trump building a wall, and they said, we'll get over it.
(26:33):
Mama needs you to hit that, you know a little earlier.
That's pretty quality joke right there, and we needs you
to go ahead and just be getting to that a
little bit faster. Medical question for you, what do you
call an STD that makes you deaf? Hearing aids?
Speaker 5 (27:02):
All?
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Right? Boxing question you like? You like the sweet science?
Whose punch was the Deadlist? Ali Fraser or foreman Jim Jones?
I googled lost medieval servant boy and the result was
(27:23):
this page cannot be found. That's all I got from.
That's it. That is it.
Speaker 5 (27:35):
We uh.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
We are heading into the summer and I have been
reaching out to show sponsors about how their business is going,
and I am noticing that we have a lot of
B t B. Now, I always wanted more B to
B and not just retail restaurants, jewelry, car dealerships were
(28:01):
traditionally what was the staple really car dealerships if you remember,
electronics stores and car dealerships were it. And my thought
was I wanted a more balanced, diversified group of show sponsors,
and we have developed that, and I love that. What
I'm noticing is retail is very much driven by emotional
(28:27):
buying decisions. So people were scared the economy was going
to be bad, and so they hold on to money.
Mac saw it, Connie and Billy saw it. At Corey Diamonds.
Greendales doesn't see it because, for whatever reason, their recession
proof and whatever else proof, But some of other restaurants
were noticing it. Matt Brice told me that at Federal
(28:49):
American Grill. And so what's been happening is as the
stock market has come back, recovered all of the losses
that had been that people had been hannicked into already,
Federal American Grill is back full blown, Big City Wings
back full blown. Mac is seeing his sales go back
(29:10):
up because people don't go buy a house full of
furniture when they're scared what's going to happen in a
couple months. Now that they're seeing, oh, we're headed back
to the economy. Economy we had in January twenty twenty
when the Democrats managed to throw a wrench in this
whole thing and tank it. So they could get the
feeble Joe Biden elected. But what I'm noticing is the
(29:33):
business to business guys haven't seen the dip. The folks
whose customers are more financially sophisticated and less emotional over
the upcoming economy have stayed pretty stable and are starting
to see an uptick. Home Depot yesterday announcing let's see
(29:58):
if I can find this. Yeah. Home Depot says they
will not raise prices in response to US tariffs. So
their CFO, who was on CNBC, said more than half
of their merchandise comes from within the United States, and
he said that our goal is twelve months from now,
(30:18):
no single country outside of the United States will represent
more than ten percent of our purchases. What is happening
as a result is businesses are making decisions. They don't go,
you know, in the corner and go fetal position. They
make decisions like a drop of water, They find the
best route. They make decisions that are the best for them.
(30:41):
And what they're doing now is sourcing things in the
United States, which was Trump's goal all along. They're saying, hey,
you know, we need an American made hammer. Is there
one out there? Well, there's one in some small town
in Kentucky who knew. They didn't have to know because
the distributor they were using was completely invested in China.
(31:02):
So when they bought their mallets and their nails, the
guy said, and I got this hammer. Okay, it was easy.
It was streamlined. There was your supply chain, one distributor.
This is required. It's not that things weren't made in
the United States, it's that you had to work at
it a little bit. By the way. Companion story unrelated,
different source. ICE rated a home depot parking lot in
(31:25):
California earlier today. This was on ABC seven there and
the legal alien escape went to talk to the media,
started crying and saying he had to stay here because
he couldn't make as much money if he went back home.
And then his buddy who was there along with him,
spoke to the media and said these ice raids should
be a crime.
It's that time time, time, time, luck and load. The
Michael Varry Show is on the air. I was just
(00:25):
tell anything Moan during the break and he doesn't realize
how big The Wheel of Fortune was. When I was
growing up, like must have been early to mid eighties.
It would come on at six point thirty, so right
after the news, and I don't know if it was
a highest rated show it had. It wasn't our house.
(00:46):
And I remember my mom would walk outside if I
was out shooting baskets or doing something outside washing the car.
She'd said the wheels on, and you'd go running in
and there was Pat Sajack and Vanna, which I think
they're still there. Anyway. They had the catchiest song, We'll
watch Her. When that song got in your head, it
(01:09):
had to be the best song for a TV show
in terms of just complete earworm. Anyway, watching the reckoning
that is occurring with John Wayne mccornyn is an absolute treat,
that arrogant bastard, that arrogant bastard having to come and
(01:35):
pander and watch it. I'm honestly telling you, it is
at least as bad as watching Biden last year, watching
him have to do things for the common people. He
posts a picture last week of himself in front of
trump Berger, the one on Chimney Rock, just north of
(02:01):
And it's kind of funny because it was an old
Checkers and the Checkers, I don't know if it's the
same owner or someone else bought it and then it
became something else, you know, like Tom's Burger or whatever.
And it's in an awkward little spot, and there's a
water Burger around the corner, and that area is kind
of rough anyway, and the road is really busted up there,
(02:21):
and the traffic is always bad, so it wasn't making it.
And I don't know if it's doing any better as
a Trump Burger, but throwing the name Trump on there
all of a sudden is gonna draw people in. So
Cornan goes and stands in front of the Trump Burger
puts both thumbs up in the cheesiest way, like here,
I am a trump Burger enjoying a good old fashioned
(02:44):
American burger, just like you. It's so terrible, and he posts,
or somebody posts for him. It's the last day a
small business week, so I decided to stop by Trump
Burger in Houston. Exclamation mark, Yeah, that's exciting. Stop by
a small business and show your support. Okay, so we
(03:06):
got him coming to Houston. Needs to tell us he's
in Houston. We've got him at the Trump Burger because
remember he's the Maga guy. He's not and support small business. Well,
I wasn't really sure if I was going to be
for Corning or not. But if he's telling people to
support small business, heck, I'm not liking. It's so bad.
(03:28):
It is so bad. Let's take a look at one
of the issues of late where he has had to
do it about face. Remember when he pandered to Muslims
back in twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Hi, I'm Texas Senator John Corny. I want to take
a moment to say I know this year's Ramadan will
be different from those before, and that's why it's important
to keep the spirit of hope in community alive. I
wish you all good fast and that you and your
friends and families stay safe during this challenging time.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Obama, and then there was this, so what happens in
the leadership race? Are you certain that you will run
for re election? And here you are? You do you
think I mean God willing? Well, yeah, I mean God
Inah in Shallah, which means if people translate it as
(04:24):
if God is willing. But it's important to understand that
is the Muslim reference to Allah being the God, not
just God in a small G or even a capital G.
It is the specific God in Shallah, if God wills it.
That was meant to be something that Whitey didn't notice,
(04:44):
but Muslims caught and they would go, ah, look at that.
He's pandering to us. Now now that he's he's trailing
Ken Paxton badly in the Republican primary, guess what he's doing.
He's calling for an investigation into the community outside of Dallas,
(05:05):
the Muslim community that's called epic, and he's claiming that
Ken Paxton is behind it. He's going to run the
nastiest campaign you have ever seen. It is going to
be so brutal. They're going to have people convinced that
Ken Paxton is the devil himself because that's the only
(05:27):
way he can win. Remember I told you earlier that
when a person has to criticize their opponent as the
only reason, that's what they had to do for Joe
Biden against Trump, and then for Kamala against Trump, that's
what Cornin has to do. He can't raise his positives
because Republican primary voters don't like him. So the only
thing he can do is convince you that Ken Paxton
(05:48):
raped your daughter. And if you'll believe that Ken Paxton
raped your daughter or stole your car or cannibalized your grandfather,
he was a part of the original Donar Party. If
he can convince you of those things, then maybe you'll go, well,
I guess I'll go ahead over o'cornyan, because pass are bad.
And that's exactly what they're going to do. We knew
when he wanted to be Senate Majority Leader he would
(06:10):
suddenly become maga. And that's what John Wayne mccornyan does.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
John Wayne mccornyn wants to be your Senate Majority Leader
And wha is that? Because you are maga and John Wayne,
by God mccornyan is the Maga is some bitch in Texas.
Have you catch him at a monster truck rally. Chances
are you'll catch him in one of them dazzled Maga
cowboy hats in a red, white and blue made in
(06:42):
America three piece suit. How maga is mccornyn His playlist
has two songs YMCA God Bless the USA. He drives
a Ford F three point fifty duly with over one
hundred tattered flags furling in the bed. Half of them
say make America great again, half say let's go Brandon,
(07:05):
and half say FJB. John Wayne mccornyn was not a
math major. He majored in America. And it's going to
take a leader that majored in America to be the
majority leader in the Senate of America. A MAGA leader
whose everyday Carrie kit includes a Gerber multitool, a Timex
(07:25):
Ironman Watch, an iPhone six ridge wallet in a well
worn pocket. Constitution. So call your senators America and leave
a message that you support super mega Ultramega John Wayne mccornyn,
who is definitely not a squishy rhino, that is clearly
(07:46):
incentivized to keep the status quo, the status quo John
Wayne mccorny, John Wayne.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Show Ramon, that is in the conversation.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
This seals for.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Greatest vocal performance of all time. It is I'm not
saying it is the greatest, but it's in the conversation,
and it's going to be a top fiber Minnie Ripperton
Loving You for My Money is up there. Now. I
got a thing for Stevie Nicks, and there's about three
(08:44):
songs by Stevie Nicks that are going to be up
there for me that are really strong. And then I
got Dolly and I Will Always Love You. And this
may surprise people because when I ask what song I
asked the other day for the name of a song
(09:04):
pre two thousand that other people like that you don't,
and I had several people email me Whitney Houston, I
Will Always Love You, and I don't understand that. I think.
I think that's a phenomenal, phenomenal vocal performance. It's so
(09:24):
different than Dolly that it doesn't threaten Dolly. It's a
very very different deal. But you know what, I noticed
that the songs that people said they didn't like that
everybody else likes were some of the greatest songs, but
Human Rhapsody, Hotel California, Stairway to Heaven, the fact that
(09:47):
some people said Freebird, and I think what happens is
those songs get so overplayed, and in fact, most of
the songs that people said that about were not songs
that are goofy, you know, like ak breaking Heart. Okay,
I could see where you'd say, I don't really like
that because it's a concept song. It's a novelty song.
It's not meant to be pure art. It was a
(10:09):
novelty song that I'm not sure Billy ray Cyrus understood
was a novelty song. So he thought he was, you know, somebody,
and the whole thing kind of worked with the mullet
and and and the image and all that, and it
lasted long enough till his daughter could could become a
legitimate star. And she has legitimate star power and and
(10:31):
had incredible pipes, and now she's got that thing that
vibe where even though her voice is busted, she's got
a star power that you know, she's the real star
in the family. But anyway, it surprised me how many
songs were songs that are that are epic songs, they're
they're in the Parthenon of great songs, but people didn't
(10:56):
like them because they're so overplayed. That was more common
than song that you know, just people just didn't like
because they didn't like anyway. For my money, Mini Ripperton
and female vocal performances is up there, and it is
just that darned good. There was a porch pooper in
(11:21):
the Los Angeles area caught on video giving shall we say,
special deliveries to at least two different homes. The story
from Fox eleven. Oh, that's Chad's prep, but it's from
Jim's audio. Rolled over. It's titled number ten ten. Actually
(11:45):
you know what?
Speaker 5 (11:46):
Hold that?
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Hold that because there's two more bits of audio that
go with it, So just roll that over to the
next segment. You had a caller for me, No, no,
I won't have time to get to the whole thing.
And it's a series. It's three bits that work too.
I'm not gonna yell at you, no, no, no. Did
you want to offer a female vocalist that would be
in the conversation for greatest performance of all time? Yeah?
(12:08):
Three little what?
Speaker 6 (12:09):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Three little birds?
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Krim Bailey ray oh wow. Okay. See those don't get
considered because they that's a style of singing. Can you
play that song? Be okay? By Ingrid Michaelson. That is
a style of singing. I don't know what it's called.
There are certain singers that do this and they can't
(12:35):
be considered serious. Listen, I just.
Speaker 7 (12:38):
Want to be okay, be okay, be okay. I just
wanta Bell Caddy Day. I just won'ta be okay, be okay,
be okay, I just wanta beill Caddy.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Day this weekend walking through a CVS And I've never
heard of it before. And apparently this girl is a
big name now. I think it's Ingrid. Michael Center read something.
Who knew that somebody that young could be named Ingrid? Today? Interesting?
But anyway, that style of voting, that style of that
style of singing that Karin Bailey Ray has as well,
(13:14):
doesn't get considered in the in the serious. Are you
know who else Roberta killing me softly? You've got that.
You've got to put Roberta in that conversation. All right?
Did you want me to go to Ed's phone call?
Speaker 6 (13:26):
Is that right?
Speaker 8 (13:28):
Ed?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
You're and Michael Berry sho go ahead.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
Michael, I didn't know you're ever going to get to me.
But uh, anyway, you can't understand why the Democrat judges
you're letting people out here. It is the member of
When Obama got elected, he said, I want a civilian
police force as large, as well funded, and as well
armed as the US military. Why would you want that
(13:52):
now hold on, make the crime so bad in the
cities that people beg for it. Because the US military
won't take over this country. But a that's sort of
like dsays will. That's what it's all about. That's why
they're coordinated. They all do it. It's not by happenstances.
(14:15):
It's pure evil.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Interesting, very interesting, All right, Ramon, who was the other
one you want me to get to, Josh, you're on
the Michael Berry Show.
Speaker 6 (14:30):
I think's wrong with all them Democrats, all them teeth
and no toothbrush. That's why they're so hornering. But hey,
the reason I call it because I started something called
the Houston AI Ecosystem Initiative, and uh, I know that
Trump was very excited about that over there with the Solties.
The reason I was bringing that up is because I'm
trying to get ahold of Pete Hagsts Department of Defense
(14:50):
and lets them know I think Houston has a lot
more potential than what's what we're allowed, possibly because of
these all these political games going on, and all this
bureaucratic red ape and restrictions on the money and voting
and you know, all this thing that you're complaining about
now when I feel like we could just go straight
director for the people and say, hey, why don't we
just put our money together and do what we want
(15:11):
to do in a dotal park vote.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
On See did you see that the instacart CEO just
joined open Ai.
Speaker 7 (15:19):
To the keeper the store and dissolve.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I'd give you new I'm a wheel Watcher came from
song by the Occasions. I believe it's in the sixties.
Wasn't it wrong called girl watcher? It was a play
on that for the commercial fort for the promo of
it front Porch pirates forget that. Remember Ramon had his
(15:51):
stolen last year by the Amazon delivery driver and was
it Amazon or was a GPS FedEx by the FedEx delivered?
They never did anything about that, did they nice? And
then he was mad about it and then a guy Anyway,
there's more to that story that I'm not allowed to tell.
An Amazon delivery driver in the LA area caught on
(16:12):
video giving very special deliveries to at least two homes.
Fox eleven with the story.
Speaker 9 (16:17):
My kids sit there all the time on this on
the stairs, they play basketball and it's gross.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
A real stinker.
Speaker 10 (16:22):
Tamora the dooy got a special delivery with her Amazon
package number two.
Speaker 9 (16:27):
Just right here in front of the garage, just right
there on the steps. That's where it happened.
Speaker 10 (16:33):
Her husband left their Woodland Hills home early Sunday morning
to get her Mother's Day breakfast and found the smelly surprise.
Speaker 11 (16:39):
This is where the package was delivered, at the top
of the stairs. Poop and as she walked over here,
as she was walking out.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
And through hern up and it's over the side.
Speaker 10 (17:00):
On a roll. The delivery driver pulling up her bridges
does it again down the road.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
It's really gross.
Speaker 9 (17:05):
And then to find out a little bit later that
she did it again about thirty minutes after she left
my house, she went to someone else's house and then
did the same thing. That's like malicious, it's personal. It's disgusting.
Speaker 10 (17:17):
With signs warning of recording and progress. The driver was
caught on camera shortly after urinating on this lawn. The
homeowner too upset to talk about it.
Speaker 9 (17:26):
We could We both couldn't sleep last night. I was
think after processing and I'm like, could she come back?
You know, I heard she lost her job. Will she
be angry? And now I have to think about these
things and I shouldn't have to, but I am honestly.
Speaker 10 (17:36):
Amazon says the driver was an independent contractor and send
us this statement, We're deeply disturbed by the unacceptable behavior
of this delivery driver and apologize to the customers involved.
We immediately identified the driver and they are no longer
delivering on behalf of Amazon. A bit relieved, but they're
taking extra precautions.
Speaker 9 (17:55):
Oh, just glad we have cameras, and we're probably gonna
get more cameras, just because again, we live in place
where we can't trust, you know, even delivery drivers.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
At this point, it's always the same, these stories. It
starts with the funny headline, some silly words of it's
our real stinker. There's always gonna be the hoe key phrases,
and then somebody pooped, right, and that's really the story.
But then they have to take it to the next level.
It's really traumatic and this is criminal and you should
(18:24):
be able to do this. It's crap. Okay, we got it.
They're pooping there. Nobody likes it. I'm surprised they didn't
have the chief of police. You know, this is the
sort of thing. This is not funny, this is serious.
People could be injured. We take this very seriously. There's
usually that whole element. They forgot that one there. Remember
when we had a porch pooper in the heights. It
(18:46):
had even caught the eye of CNN's Anderson Pooper.
Speaker 8 (18:51):
Time for the ridiculous and I we're adding these cereal pooper.
That's right, the cereal pooper. It's a mystery unfolding down
in Houston and tonight authorities are hoping surveillance footage will
help squeeze out a culprit.
Speaker 12 (19:00):
The man scene in these surveillance pictures is someone deputies
are looking for. He's accused of committing a strange crime.
Speaker 8 (19:09):
A strange crime indeed, and a most unwelcome reminder of
the old slogan everything is Bigger in Texas.
Speaker 12 (19:14):
Police say he's been repeatedly going to the bathroom in
people's front yards, leaving behind a stinky mess for homeowners
to clean up.
Speaker 8 (19:22):
Love the surveillance footage. Now, look, I know this isn't
the most pleasant topics, and I'm sorry to dump it
on you, but as you'll see, it's gotten the attention
of the local news, so we can assume it's Houston's
top priority, or at least Houston's number two priority.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
It's not okay, people.
Speaker 8 (19:36):
It's good to see the residents are keeping a sense
of humor about it.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Though you can't blame them for being steaming mad.
Speaker 8 (19:41):
You can only imagine how eager that must be to
wipe themselves clean of this defecating delinquent. But with this story,
just when you think you're done, you realize there's still
a little bit more left to go.
Speaker 12 (19:51):
Oh God, If you look closely in the upper left corner,
those white things are pieces of paper towel. One homeowner
tells Local two. He brings him along to clean himself up,
then leaves them behind on the sidewalk.
Speaker 8 (20:04):
I mean, really, come on, now, like the local rock
star he's become. When the mystery man has done with
his performance, he drops the mic and exits stage right.
Except in this case, the mic is a paper towel
covered with well, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
What, I think a ratitat scat. Anderson Cooper enjoyed that
story just a little too much in what might be
hiding underneath his disgust could be a little chuck Berry fetish.
And you didn't think Chance McLean would miss this opportunity
(20:37):
to write a song about it did you.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
Well.
Speaker 13 (20:49):
I order some socks and a brand new Folk for
Amazon Prime.
Speaker 6 (20:52):
Stay to my home.
Speaker 13 (20:53):
But when the package arrive, go on a sight especial delivery.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
In the broody line.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
The broad daylight, in the broad daylight.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Oh, the porch pooper's dropping a douce, crying on my steps.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
She's cutting it loose. The number two is her gift.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
It's playing to see porchpooper, porch poople, porch pooper got.
Speaker 13 (21:12):
Me Samarra's husband laying out for a treat Mother's Day
breakfast is something sweet. But they're on the porch, a smelly,
surprised mister Hanky staring at him right in the eyes
of porch.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Poopers, dropping a deuce, prying on my steps. She's cutting
it loose.
Speaker 14 (21:37):
The number two's her gift.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
It's playing to see porch pooper, porch pooper, porch pooper
got me down the road.
Speaker 14 (21:53):
She strupped again another front porch. She's gotten no shame
caught on camera. She's taking a whiz this Chriina's got
shoes and there almost shoulbies whoo. Arizona says she went
one of allows, an independent contractor. We cut at her house,
but Samara still shaking.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
She can't sleep at.
Speaker 14 (22:13):
Night, worry the pooper might come back for a fight, or.
Speaker 4 (22:16):
The porch poopers dropping the no right on my steps.
She's cutting the loose number twos or gift it's playing
to see porch poop, a porch pooper. Porch pooper got me.
Speaker 14 (22:35):
So check your packages and watch where you step.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
The porch pooper's out there. She's got no regret.
Speaker 13 (22:40):
From Woodland Hills to who knows where this driver's leaving gifts.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
You don't want to share a topic that excuse. Mostly
male women don't fund pooping stories to be nearly as
funny as we dudes do. Where we had to poop,
(23:06):
when we didn't have toilet paper, when you were out
in the woods, how bad you had to go, how
explosive it was. Women don't find that. Younger women under forty,
some of them have more of a guy's sensibility to that.
Older women. That's just something they don't want you to
talking about at all. That that's not good. You don't
talk about it, just want it at all. After she left,
(23:28):
I looked born he was hiding behind the TV poop
and the Michael Berry Shaw Please clap please please clap.
Yesterday I started to Know It morning show, referencing an
(23:53):
email I had received from a woman who twenty years,
twenty seven years into teaching, was packing up her classroom
for retirement, and with mixed emotions. She's ready to retire
and travel and have more time and do those sorts
of things, but she's also sad because this has been
a major part of her life. And I could just
(24:15):
imagine her taking down the cute little things that teachers
put up. I was always moved by that. You know,
when you return to school and you go in there
and the teacher, they're so excited you're coming into their classroom,
and you know they've spent their in service days getting
everything ready, with all the cutesy little stuff on the walls.
(24:37):
I had great teachers, and I loved and adore them.
I still feel very fondly that they gave me part
of their life and their patience and love and encouragement.
And it makes a difference, it really does. I'll never
forget Ramond. I had a teacher and you talk about,
you know, steadfastness and patience, but also discipline, and she
(25:00):
had assigned us a paper and I had done it
and she was getting after me and getting after me.
It was gonna cause a problem. And she kept saying,
you're gonna have to turn in your essay. You were
going to have to turn in your essay. I was like,
I ain't no snitch. Yeah, yeah, I got you didn't
I I got you. See the whole setup, the emotion,
(25:23):
that drawing it out, the humanizing it. You didn't see
it coming. That's quality right there. You know how invested
I had to be in that story to get to
that point. Yeah, I a llured you see, you're always oh,
it's just gonna be a joke. There's gonna be a joke.
But you had no idea that was coming none. A
teacher asked his students to share what their dads do
(25:46):
for a living. Little Johnny said, well, my dad's a
stripper of a gay club and he turns tricks in
the alley to earn extra money. After class, a teacher
pulled him aside and said, Johnny, is your I had
really a stripper at a gay club who turns tricks
in the alley to make extra money. Little Johnny said, no, ma'am.
(26:08):
He's a reporter for CNN. But I was too embarrassed
to say that. During a Man on the Street interview
in Mexico, people were asked how they felt about Donald
Trump building a wall, and they said, we'll get over it.
(26:33):
Mama needs you to hit that, you know a little earlier.
That's pretty quality joke right there, and we needs you
to go ahead and just be getting to that a
little bit faster. Medical question for you, what do you
call an STD that makes you deaf? Hearing aids?
Speaker 5 (27:02):
All?
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Right? Boxing question you like? You like the sweet science?
Whose punch was the Deadlist? Ali Fraser or foreman Jim Jones?
I googled lost medieval servant boy and the result was
(27:23):
this page cannot be found. That's all I got from.
That's it. That is it.
Speaker 5 (27:35):
We uh.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
We are heading into the summer and I have been
reaching out to show sponsors about how their business is going,
and I am noticing that we have a lot of
B t B. Now, I always wanted more B to
B and not just retail restaurants, jewelry, car dealerships were
(28:01):
traditionally what was the staple really car dealerships if you remember,
electronics stores and car dealerships were it. And my thought
was I wanted a more balanced, diversified group of show sponsors,
and we have developed that, and I love that. What
I'm noticing is retail is very much driven by emotional
(28:27):
buying decisions. So people were scared the economy was going
to be bad, and so they hold on to money.
Mac saw it, Connie and Billy saw it. At Corey Diamonds.
Greendales doesn't see it because, for whatever reason, their recession
proof and whatever else proof, But some of other restaurants
were noticing it. Matt Brice told me that at Federal
(28:49):
American Grill. And so what's been happening is as the
stock market has come back, recovered all of the losses
that had been that people had been hannicked into already,
Federal American Grill is back full blown, Big City Wings
back full blown. Mac is seeing his sales go back
(29:10):
up because people don't go buy a house full of
furniture when they're scared what's going to happen in a
couple months. Now that they're seeing, oh, we're headed back
to the economy. Economy we had in January twenty twenty
when the Democrats managed to throw a wrench in this
whole thing and tank it. So they could get the
feeble Joe Biden elected. But what I'm noticing is the
(29:33):
business to business guys haven't seen the dip. The folks
whose customers are more financially sophisticated and less emotional over
the upcoming economy have stayed pretty stable and are starting
to see an uptick. Home Depot yesterday announcing let's see
(29:58):
if I can find this. Yeah. Home Depot says they
will not raise prices in response to US tariffs. So
their CFO, who was on CNBC, said more than half
of their merchandise comes from within the United States, and
he said that our goal is twelve months from now,
(30:18):
no single country outside of the United States will represent
more than ten percent of our purchases. What is happening
as a result is businesses are making decisions. They don't go,
you know, in the corner and go fetal position. They
make decisions like a drop of water, They find the
best route. They make decisions that are the best for them.
(30:41):
And what they're doing now is sourcing things in the
United States, which was Trump's goal all along. They're saying, hey,
you know, we need an American made hammer. Is there
one out there? Well, there's one in some small town
in Kentucky who knew. They didn't have to know because
the distributor they were using was completely invested in China.
(31:02):
So when they bought their mallets and their nails, the
guy said, and I got this hammer. Okay, it was easy.
It was streamlined. There was your supply chain, one distributor.
This is required. It's not that things weren't made in
the United States, it's that you had to work at
it a little bit. By the way. Companion story unrelated,
different source. ICE rated a home depot parking lot in
(31:25):
California earlier today. This was on ABC seven there and
the legal alien escape went to talk to the media,
started crying and saying he had to stay here because
he couldn't make as much money if he went back home.
And then his buddy who was there along with him,
spoke to the media and said these ice raids should
be a crime.
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