Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's that time time, time, time, luck and load till
Michael Arry Show is on the air. I'm in a
high sweed pursuit. Don't you hear good?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I hear perfectly.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane
to the situation.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
God damn, German's got nothing to do with it.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Way I doc. Are you telling me you built a
time machine?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Kind of a doloreate the way I see it.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
If you're gonna build a time machine into a car,
why not doing some style.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
He's an Alma raighway in a new cattle like I
had a fine bods and runner had three moo.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
In the bag.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
What a piece of jug? She may not look like much.
She's gotta weark cows kid. I've made a lot of
special modifications myself.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
You need.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Year we back you meeh. Listen, dear mother, I was speeding.
I was driving like a maniac. You can all be
grateful to this man for stopping us. Seek, sir, I'm
going back to get the rest of the carcass off
the road.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Peak officer.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
All right, if you listen to one thing I say today,
it needs to be this right here. This is important
somebody out there has access that I desperately need for tomorrow.
The state semifinal, State semifinal high school football is this weekend.
(01:52):
There is a game at Katie's Legacy Stadium at two
o'clock north Shore versus Westlake, and I need somebody to
get me a field pass so I can walk to
north Shore sideline. Now, ninety nine percent of you, there's
going to be ten of you. They're going to see me.
You don't go to able to do that, Michael, because
(02:13):
you listen, listen, I'm not here to hear all that.
There is somebody that can get me on the sideline,
and that person's going to reach out with an email
with their cell phone. And do you want to go
Romont two o'clock tomorrow, north Shore, west Lake six A,
the six A Simmis. It's down to Duncanville and North Crowley.
(02:35):
And that is that Allen's Eagles Stadium. I don't know
where that is? Where is that Allen, Texas? I don't
know where that is?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I never heard of it. And then and then that's
at three o'clock. But I don't want to go to that.
I want to see north Shore and Westlake that's going
to be a game two pm tomorrow Katie's Legacy Stadium.
The reason you would have access to getting me down
there are number one, you are the head football coach
Steve Spurr style at north Shore, in which case I
would be your guest. And by the way, I'm throwing
(03:06):
into the package Tremon and I come in the locker
room before the game, halftime and after the game, Matthew
McConaughey style, I'll go get me one of those leather jackets.
By the way, if I do, you come in for sure,
don't say you are in any Okay, good, Yeah, it'll
be fun. Where would I buy a north Shore shirt? No?
(03:29):
North Shore's right here. It's on the north side of Houston.
You goofball. It's a football powerhouse. You claim you know
high school football. You don't know where north Shore is.
What your dad does? Oh you know what, Let's bring
your dad. That'd be so nice. That's what I used
to do with my dad. That's what I used to
have my grandfather. Even more so, my grandfather drove the
(03:49):
bus for local schools. So when Western Start, when I
was a little kid, when Western Start would would get
they'd play into the playoffs, but when they weren't playing,
he would drive for Hebert Thomas Jefferson, Forest Park, South Park, BCP,
Beaumont Charlton Pollard. I always enjoyed going to the BCP
games because BCP was an all black school and they
(04:12):
had the old the old Black band, the military band,
and but they would have the drum major who would
absolutely show out and he had this big he had
a big the big hat and all white outfit and
he was out there to strut like a peacock, and
I loved it. I couldn't understand people would go to
(04:33):
go pee during halftime, go pee during the game. You don't,
You do not want to miss this show. That guy
is amazing. So here's what I need somebody to do
for me, preferably the athletic director. I really liked the
coach to do it, because if I'm the athletic director's guest,
then the coach is like, why is that guy in here?
If you would email me that you can get me
(04:54):
in the whole access the whole thing, I'll uber there
so I don't need parking. The website Michael Berryshow dot com,
or you can email Michael at Michael berryshow dot com
and if anybody else wants to join me there, because
they may give us a few passes. Ramone. Let me
tell you what happened. I don't know if I ever
told you this, Romont or you listen, listen to this.
So one year I had a buddy, Kevin Hoffman, and
(05:18):
he was on the Sports Authority Board. And Kevin had
been an HID trustee, and so he might have been
the executive director Sports Study. I don't know, he had
some official role. And I read in the paper it
has been fifteen years ago. I read in the paper
that there was a state championship. I think this was
(05:41):
before they screwed all the divisions up, so I think
you only had a five A back then, But now
you go up to six A and they got the
different sizes and all that. So five A was the
biggest school. Now five A might have meant that you
had I don't know, four hundred graduating seniors, or it
might have meant that you had forty thousand. So you'd
have these power house schools that were as big as
(06:01):
a city, and then you'd have the schools that just
barely qualified for five A and they'd try to kick
some kids out so they could go down to four
a dominant. So I go over there and Kevin took
care of me and he got me a field pass.
And I think I think I went by myself. I
can't remember if if if I had my kids yet,
I think I just went by myself. So I go
(06:23):
down there and I'm walking along the sidelines of both
teams very unobtrusively because I'm trying to get a feel
for the vibe. You know what, what's the mood of
these teams? Do they think they're gonna win? And there
is a little kid Woodlands was in the game, was
in this was in this state championship, and there is
a little dude, little Hispanic dude, and it was like,
(06:47):
uh was it Dalton Hilliard? What was the guy at LSU?
LSU had a guy before the Honey Badger. They had
a guy that was like a slot back, but they
would put him out at receiver, that at him at tailback.
He wasn't a proper tailback, but they would run that
jet sweep to him. They would just find ways to
get him the ball constantly because he was a playmaker
(07:09):
in space. So the Woodlands had this little Hispanic kid,
and that's what they would do. A reverse, a double reverse,
a wildcat, and just anything they could do to get
this kid the ball. And I'm watching this kid and
he's so good that I'm watching him even when the
ball doesn't go to him, just because he would block.
His fundamentals were good. He was intense, and he wasn't
(07:32):
very big, and I thought, man, if that kid had
some size, he could make something of himself. And I
learned his name, and nothing ever became of him. His
name was Amondola. Nobody ever heard from him. Again, No,
it's a true story. And so he would be playing
for the Patriots, and I would tell the boys that story.
And like, Dad, we already know Woodlands Riot. You saw him,
(07:55):
you identified that he had talent, and I said, well,
look at him. I mean he's little bitty, right, he's
not very big at all, and he wasn't even very
big on the high school field. But this kid was special.
And I thought, wow, what a damn shame. He probably
won't even get a D one offer because he's so little.
And what does he do. He goes off to become
(08:16):
a superstar. And in fact, if you watch that, that
documentary on the Patriots. He comes out hard against Belichick.
I mean hard against Belichick anyway. I could see me
and him being friends. But if somebody could email me
and get me on the sideline and preferably in the
locker room before halftime and after the game with north Shore,
(08:39):
I would appreciate that. Because the game is at two o'clock.
I don't see any other games that are in Houston tomorrow. Oh,
New Caney, we could do kill o'clock there. We got
Kilgore and la Vernia, the Class four A one that's
at nu Keny tomorrow night. That's the only ones I
see that are here. All around the world and everywhere,
(09:05):
he would use his word and all would say.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
That goes a clever chick.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Sheer luck. Today is Dick Van Dyke's per frame. How
cool would it be to be like Dan Pastorini close
with Dick Van Dyke And then people were like, hey,
what'd you do last night? I was just hanging out
with my buddy, my buddy Dick. We were sitting around
the fire and and I asked him to do chim chimminy,
(09:32):
chim chimminy, and he was like no, no, no, and
then I realized what really, I just wanted to do
it for you. And he was like, that's really not bad, Michael,
that's not bad. You're you're not as bad as you
think you are. And uh, it was pretty cool. And
we just kind of talked about you know, the making
of the movie and Mary Poppins and you know, who
the kids were and what they turned out to be
and in that movie and the Dick Van Dyke Show
(09:54):
and it really didn't get its fair due and Mary
Tyler Moore and then uh, and that he hates Trump. Oh,
why'd you have to tell me that? Why did I
have to I didn't need to know that. Oh, I
don't even I hope he doesn't even have a happy birthday.
Then I really do see. This is the problem when
(10:16):
you don't know things like north shore is. And I
quote you as saying you don't know where north Shore is.
People don't understand that I know exactly, but I pride
myself on high school football knowledge. Al Luna says, north
shore is the north is north of ten off Uvalde.
They have east side on the backs of their jerseys,
north shore of the ship channel. That's where the north
(10:41):
shore comes from. I don't have sideline access to the
game yet, which is I'm kind of thinking we might
be losing our touch. There was a time that we
would I would have had an email. What oh you think? So?
Ramone says, if I put on a uniform in the
shape I'm in now and go walking in there. But
(11:02):
what if coach is like Barry, get in there, Coach,
I'm not on special teams. It ain't special teams in
second down, you dumb ass. I was kidding, coach. I
was kidding. That'd be a moment, wouldn't it. Alan Eagles
Stadium is the sixty million dollars stadium in Allen, Texas,
(11:23):
where Kyler Murray played. Located in Collin County, just north
of Plano in Dallas. There is so much money north
of Dallas right now, Frisco, Alito, there's all those areas
in that area right now they are making There is
(11:45):
so much wealth in that area. Okay, apparently you can
get north shore gear. Okay, I know where to get
my north shore gear. Now, all right, I'm beyond needing
a shirt. I just need a cap. I just need
because I got a little ball spot in the back.
(12:06):
So somebody's gonna be at that game and they're gonna
take a picture of my little tiny ball spot. It's
not much for being fifty three, and then I'm gonna
have to deal with being taunted over my ball spot.
Would you do hair plugs? I guess not at this point.
Wouldn't work for you with it. I've been thinking about it.
You know, we got a hair plug client. I've been
thinking about it. I don't think it would be a
(12:26):
terrible Well. The reason is just look at Elon Musk
and he went from like he had very little as
a wispy hair, and now he's got a good solid
head of hair. And I wonder if it's probably if
I do it before it gets too bad, I don't
think anybody would notice it. It's like botox, you got
to you gotta hit that before anybody notices it. Yeah,
(12:49):
kind of wish, kind of wishing that email would come in. Hey,
we'd be honored to have you on the north Shore sideline. Absolutely,
you will be my guest coach. What's the coach's name?
I keep an eye out for that. Somebody out there
has got to know the coach of north Shore. I mean,
my goodness, I could be there Matthew McConaughey seven three thousand. Oh,
(13:14):
Gay Dave is on the line. Hey, Michael, Hey, gay Dave.
Hold on a second. I got the former owner of
Bubba's on here. One second. I want to he's he's
eighty one.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Uh Bill, Yes, sir, you're up, sir, I'm here, Thank you.
I was going to say the other day you were
talking about getting some of the Mexican coke because you
like this sugar. Well, actually, Houston Bottling makes a Kosher coke.
(13:48):
During Passover, the Rabbi comes in and clean the tanks
and blesses everything, and you can always tell them you
can only get them in the Jewish neighborhoods. Their brand
new bottles with a little red label and on the
label on the lid it says Cash Ruth Association. Those
are real cokes.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
And so I could find this at Hillcroft in South Bridswood.
You're saying.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Probably probably or or over there in the Mareland area,
And uh can. When I worked for twenty twenty years
ago or so, uh, there were two bottled companies in
America that did it. I think the other one to Boston.
And so it's it's unusual that anybody does it.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
But is it gonna say Coca Cola on it?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Oh, it's it's it's it's the old fashioned little bottle,
brand new and uh, they only come in little bottles
and they're beautiful and they're wonderful.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
I'm gonna go in there and buy everyone they've got.
I'm serious. You know you know what I miss, Bill,
I remember, I miss the little bitty actual bottle, but
not that big one. That thing, man, that you had
to pack a lunch for that thing. You had to
tote that around for a while. But the little bitty bottle,
you remember that. I don't know when that would have been.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
That's exactly what just comes in.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Okay, so what is the term.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
It's it's a kosher coke. I mean, I know they're
produced during Passover.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Only are you Jewish?
Speaker 2 (15:28):
But that's that's all.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
No, I'm not w How do you know this?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
But I I worked. I worked for Coke Cola bottling
for a couple of years way back in the dark ages. Oh,
among my other one hundred different jobs. So I've done
so many things. I don't know y. Like I say,
when I graduated in my high school, my great aunt
asked me what am I going to do when I
grew up? When I grew up, and I said I
didn't know. I hadn't tried everything. It's truer today than
it was in.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Well, we're in the season right now. I bet you
we can find this. Oh you know who'll have it?
Kenyan Z's calls Ziggy Gruber and ask him to get
us a palette of it, because you're saying it's the
real coke, right.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
It's the real coke. We could tell once a year
when we were about to do it, because we would
get the the corn syrup in from sugar Land. It
was the only time that happened, so we saw that
sugar Land from Imperial right, right, Well we got the
real corn syrup instead of instead of the the I
(16:36):
mean the real King syrup instead of the corn syrup.
We could we could tell.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
What about it makes it kosher? What is not kosher
about a regular or is it just in celebration of
the high holy days?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
No, there's more to it than that. Because the Rabbi
comes in and watches the cleaning of the tanks and
the blessing of the tank and everything that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Bill, I don't know if you've ever heard me tell
this story, But I was clerking for a firm in
DC called Hyman Phelps and McNamara was a very Jewish firm,
very prominent firm, and they were They did a lot
of work for people in front of the FDA. They
had former FDA directors who were who were partners their
former FBI, a former FDA General counsel. And my very
(17:23):
first project was there was an attempt to bring under
one roof the ability to certify things as kosher. At
that time. We found one hundred and thirty different people
were stamping things as kosher. So you had people who
claimed to be a rabbi who weren't, who were getting
paid to put a stamp on something like Rhino Republicans
(17:44):
claiming they were, and so that stuff that clearly was
not kosher if you know the basic rules of what's
not supposed to touch, and they were stamping stuff as
kosher that wasn't And we were trying to bring that
under it a very close project. Oh Spreens, when they
(18:05):
stack those voices like that, that's another Dutch. How weird
is that, Caid Brett. It's always weird when people have
two first names caid Brett. That's his first and last name. Rights.
How about those Woodville Eagles going to Jerry's World next
(18:26):
week to play in the state championship. Southeast Texas represented
again this year in Arlington. Southeast Texas has great football.
I'm so happy I grew up there. So I got
an email from a lady named Meg Tap and she
wright all day long. People email me Michael at Michael
(18:49):
Barryshow dot com or directly through the website Michael Berryshow
dot com, and they say, Hey, who is your roofing
coming again? Who's your jeweler again? Who's your uh who's
the guy that does the rentals of the big heavy excavators.
Angus Davis. What a great name, right, Angus Davis. Who's
the guy that does this, Who's the guy that does that,
who's the guy that does the office products? And so
(19:13):
especially at this time of year, people, Hey, I got pneumonia,
I can't breathe well, or I need a breathing treatment,
or I got COVID or whatever else. What's the name
of your lady? It's Mary Tally Boden Breathe MD. And
so I sent him. But then I get an email
this morning from Meg, and it says from your recommendation,
(19:33):
I went to Breathe m d yesterday for a thirty
minute back massage in a twenty minute foot rub. Amazing,
and I highly recommend Meg in west U and I said,
Mary Tally, what in the hell's going on? And she
sent back, what do you mean? And what had happened
(19:54):
was I didn't know a BackRub and a food foot
rub was part of the operation. I'm going in there
and she's jamming stuff up my nose and laughing about
the fact that my eyes are watering and I'm flinching.
I didn't know I could go in there for good stuff,
a back massage and a foot rub. I would literally
(20:15):
go every day, wouldn't you. Well, we'll go with yeah,
when we're done today, we will go get a back
massage and a foot rub and we'll put it on
our insurance, don't I don't know how you code that.
I'm just kidding. She's only cash. That's the way to
do it, you know. Steve Hotes, he told me twenty
five years ago, I forget what kind of doctor he
(20:35):
used to be. Some doctor he ain't anymore, And he said, Michael.
Within seven years, wellness is the future. And I'm not
a guy that really gets excited about the future. That's
why I ai AI. I would like to get into
a I think there's money to be made, but I
have no idea how to do it. But anyway, he said,
within seven years, it's all wellness. It's going to be
(20:55):
a concierge practice. It's going to be all cash, no
screwing with insurances, and people are gonna want to be
proactive rather than to call Romo, rather than waiting till
they're sick. They're gonna want good gut health and good
sinuses and good And I thought, yeah, whatever, fella, and
lo and behold he set the bar for that whole
(21:20):
wellness practice kind of thing. I mean, that's basically what
Mary Tally Boden is doing. And there's there's the upper
respiratory angle, but it's a lot of wellness. So I
go in there one day. She comes in on the
weekend because my wife was insistent that I go in
there and not wait till Monday, because she knew I
wouldn't go, so she was sweet enough to go and
meet me there. And so I'm going and opening all
(21:41):
the doors and checking behind this and looking at this,
and there's one door I never even noticed was there,
and you go in there and there's a sauna in there,
and the door has just a little bit placard that
says wellness, and you go in there and there's all
this awesome, you know, eucalyptus stuff and sauna. I said,
how come I was never told like I could have
(22:02):
come and sat in this room. I could just sit
in this room for a little How long can I
sit in here? She says, well, you can't do it
now because it has to be heated up and it's
not ready. But we got breathing treatments going all day long.
But she never mentioned because there's all these little rooms, right,
And I had no idea that all this was like
little fitting rooms or whatever. And I thought, well, there's
(22:23):
only you and one other doctor and a bunch of
nurses and Peyton, her assistant. Or Peyton has a title,
I don't know what. She's a nurse practitioner or something.
I don't know what she does. I wondered what all
was going on in there. She said, oh, they're doing
breathing treatments, and they're doing this because the office was
shut down this day. And I said, oh, okay, but
(22:44):
I never knew as part of the menu of options
you could get a back massage and a foot rub.
Oh my goodness, how are you going to keep me
from knowing that? I'm really pushing her to open her
practice over on the West Side so she won't be
far from us, somewhere like the Beltway, and I tend
(23:08):
that's kind of my new central spot. If I open RCC,
it probably will not be out in the country because realistically,
my wife tells me that's ninety minutes to two hours
to get out there, and for you to go out
there and come back same night, Uncle Jerry's got to
drive you. That's unrealistic. You need to put something near
the studio Beltway and I ten so that you can
(23:30):
actually occasionally be there. So that's kind of what I'm
looking for now. I still don't have, which is this
is starting to get a combination between embarrassing and humiliating
that nobody has gotten me what. I always wait till
the last minute. That's what I do. See, this is
(23:51):
what drives me crazy. I get a text Danny m
and Dola played at Texas Tech, not at Rice. Jesus
said it was the high school championship game. He was
playing for the Woodlands. It was played at Rice Stadium.
I know where he went to college. I have followed
his career carefully. He played for the Pirate, who's my
(24:13):
favorite all time college coach. Of course, I know he
played at Tech. The point was, I was convinced that
this kid was really talented and would never have a
chance to play beyond high school. And he's going to
be out on an old rig somewhere telling how good
he was in high school and nobody would believe it.
Here we are. We got one segment left. I got
(24:35):
no sideline pass nothing. This this is the Michael Berry Show.
Yeah that's the one.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
This lack of sideline passes for the North Shore game
tomorrow has gone from kind of a funny running gag
to downright humiliating, like crawl up in the fetal position
tomorrow and wonder who's winning. Jason Wright's Coke also does
(25:19):
real sugar cokes during Ramadan. Of evidently, the bottle caps
are yellow, that's how you know, which apparently, oddly enough,
the bottle caps are yellow for the Jews. Also, well,
that's weird. You figure you do different colors for two
groups that are at each other's throats. But anyway, the
(25:43):
Jews don't really mind the Muslims, but some of the
Muslims have a Jew fixation. It's really creepy, it's really weird.
But this brings to mind another question. You add the
Jews and Muslims together and you got about four percent
of the American population, Then ninety six percent of us
(26:04):
are running around here just being boring old Christians wanting
a damn coke that isn't made out of corn on
the cob. This is stupid. When are we going to
get ours? How about maybe Easter? How about you roll
some out right now it's Christmas. How about you give
us a real coke one time a year. How do
(26:25):
they manage to squander that? I would really there's got
to be a good book on this subject. RFK is coming.
But I mean think about this. You've got you've got
one of the greatest consumer products in the history of mankind.
You make billions of dollars selling sugar water. Anybody can
(26:46):
sell sugar water. There's a very low barrier to entry.
This is not high technology here. You got sugar water. Uh,
you got food coloring, and you got carbonation. Well, hell,
you can do. Remember the soda stream guy, he used
to be all over you can do. You can carbonate now.
(27:06):
Although I will tell you this, I hate to give
them their due. There's something about the burn of the
old coca cola in your nose. You can't replicate that.
That's a glorious thing that burns. You take a big
chug and ah when you're a kid.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Boole googoo, goog google ah.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
And your throat burns, and your stomach has has little burt.
You got burps coming, and then your nose is kind
of burning. That's a wonderful sensation that is hard to replicate.
And I will tell you all of the kind of
knockoff sodas. What they lack that I that bothers me
most is that burn. They don't have a good carbonation
(27:47):
and burn to it. James writes Eljacino. There are two
young people from Zavala, Texas, the one in Deep East Texas,
not Zavala County in South Texas, competing in the Junior
World Finals rodeo in Las Vegas. Garren Grimes. What a
great rodeo name that is. And unto you shall be
(28:11):
born a son, and he will be a rodeo superstar
and he shall be called Garren Grimes. Yeah, but my
name is Susie Johnson and I'm married to Bob Johnson.
We shall change your name. The immaculate rodeo star is
born unto you. He shall be known as Garren Grimes.
(28:36):
Garren Grimes is competing in team roping and Isabella Renfro
in barrel racing. I like name. Isabella Zavala ain't big,
so to have two competing at that level is incredible.
You know who's big in rodeo now you don't know this?
And construction Mexicans. A lot of the rodeo stars now
(29:00):
are Hispanic Zara. You remember the small coke bottles in
the sixties would have the city where they were made
embossed on the bottom. Do you remember that? It's kind
of one of those things that once you say it,
I feel like I should remember it, but I don't. Honestly,
Allen High School has the largest enrollment in six A.
They have eleven hundred in their band alone. Good Lord,
(29:25):
that's a lot of tuba players. Ramon's dad said, you
could tell how big a band was by how many
tuba players they had hum because you got to balance
it out. Okay, all right, Gay Dave, Gay Dave? Are
you called him because you got me tickets to the
sideline pass?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Hold on, hold on, Roy Marsh. This is a moment
where Roy Marsh can come in. Handy sideline pass. I
reached out to a buddy that is a sideline referee
and it leave me hanging like and we'll see. Oh,
Mark Tuon, there's another one that'll be able to get
me in. You want to go to the north Shore game? Yes,
(30:07):
I do sideline pass, y'all. Hold on this, Marktoon will
be able to get me in. I don't really know
what Marktoon does for eleven. I just know he's really
really rich and he's got some kind of like a
technology incubator park. But he's a sports nut. His kid
(30:28):
went to like IMG. He had a kid. He was real, real,
real good football player. And I think a pitcher who's
a little younger than Michael, so I don't know him
quite as well. We might be making progress on the
north Shore sideline pass. I like more than one, so
I don't have to go alone. I know I said one,
(30:49):
but I really like to get clearance with the coach
also so that he knows I'm there, and I would
like to I mean, I don't want to ask for
the world. I got to a couple of plays. I
like to just get to call one play, one play.
It won't be much. Remember Starkesian last year put in
the Mattress Mac play. You remember, Oh yeah, they had
(31:11):
a trick play that they called Mattress Mac. And if
you listen to the play, remember Mac told us this,
And if you listen to the play, you can very
clearly hear Quinn. You were say, you know, Omaha, nineteen
Mattress Mac thirty one saves you money forty eight. But
but they do say Mattress Mac, and you're going, how
(31:31):
cool is that? So anyway, we could probably install maybe
a swinging gate last minute, because nobody runs a swinging gate.
That was an orange field. That was an Orangeville staple
swinging gate. You knew that was coming. I ran the
Statue of Liberty when I was in fourth grade. But
nobody really seems to want to do that much anymore.
We could do a statue. We do a fake statue
(31:52):
of liberty and then you drop it down and do
a double reverse fake Statue of Liberty. Then I pop
up and throw it deep to Dalton Hilliard. Yeah, y'all
would do the Eiffel Tower. Yeah, in the Cleveland steam Roll,
which I know what y'all. I know what y'all did. Oh,
gay Dave, you got the last thirty seconds. You got
tickets for me? I mean, you got sideline pass for
(32:14):
me for North Shore tomorrow. I can't.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
I could get you a monor attached to New Jersey
sideline pass of that who monor attached of New Jersey.
That's where I played football. Hey, I didn't get an
official rainbow Michael Berry, you know pass or anything, And
I don't have my own, you know, call in line,
like like the black you do.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Now you're on the gay line. You know what, Dave,
Next time we gathered, we gathered last night. The next
time we gather, you're gonna come because we don't. I
say this all the time. We don't have a gay
dude in our group. We got everything else. We got Blacks, Muslims,
Juice Farner. We don't have an openly gay dude. I mean,
I wonder about
It's that time time, time, time, luck and load till
Michael Arry Show is on the air. I'm in a
high sweed pursuit. Don't you hear good?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I hear perfectly.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane
to the situation.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
God damn, German's got nothing to do with it.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Way I doc. Are you telling me you built a
time machine?
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Kind of a doloreate the way I see it.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
If you're gonna build a time machine into a car,
why not doing some style.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
He's an Alma raighway in a new cattle like I
had a fine bods and runner had three moo.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
In the bag.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
What a piece of jug? She may not look like much.
She's gotta weark cows kid. I've made a lot of
special modifications myself.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
You need.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Year we back you meeh. Listen, dear mother, I was speeding.
I was driving like a maniac. You can all be
grateful to this man for stopping us. Seek, sir, I'm
going back to get the rest of the carcass off
the road.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Peak officer.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
All right, if you listen to one thing I say today,
it needs to be this right here. This is important
somebody out there has access that I desperately need for tomorrow.
The state semifinal, State semifinal high school football is this weekend.
(01:52):
There is a game at Katie's Legacy Stadium at two
o'clock north Shore versus Westlake, and I need somebody to
get me a field pass so I can walk to
north Shore sideline. Now, ninety nine percent of you, there's
going to be ten of you. They're going to see me.
You don't go to able to do that, Michael, because
(02:13):
you listen, listen, I'm not here to hear all that.
There is somebody that can get me on the sideline,
and that person's going to reach out with an email
with their cell phone. And do you want to go
Romont two o'clock tomorrow, north Shore, west Lake six A,
the six A Simmis. It's down to Duncanville and North Crowley.
(02:35):
And that is that Allen's Eagles Stadium. I don't know
where that is? Where is that Allen, Texas? I don't
know where that is?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I never heard of it. And then and then that's
at three o'clock. But I don't want to go to that.
I want to see north Shore and Westlake that's going
to be a game two pm tomorrow Katie's Legacy Stadium.
The reason you would have access to getting me down
there are number one, you are the head football coach
Steve Spurr style at north Shore, in which case I
would be your guest. And by the way, I'm throwing
(03:06):
into the package Tremon and I come in the locker
room before the game, halftime and after the game, Matthew
McConaughey style, I'll go get me one of those leather jackets.
By the way, if I do, you come in for sure,
don't say you are in any Okay, good, Yeah, it'll
be fun. Where would I buy a north Shore shirt? No?
(03:29):
North Shore's right here. It's on the north side of Houston.
You goofball. It's a football powerhouse. You claim you know
high school football. You don't know where north Shore is.
What your dad does? Oh you know what, Let's bring
your dad. That'd be so nice. That's what I used
to do with my dad. That's what I used to
have my grandfather. Even more so, my grandfather drove the
(03:49):
bus for local schools. So when Western Start, when I
was a little kid, when Western Start would would get
they'd play into the playoffs, but when they weren't playing,
he would drive for Hebert Thomas Jefferson, Forest Park, South Park, BCP,
Beaumont Charlton Pollard. I always enjoyed going to the BCP
games because BCP was an all black school and they
(04:12):
had the old the old Black band, the military band,
and but they would have the drum major who would
absolutely show out and he had this big he had
a big the big hat and all white outfit and
he was out there to strut like a peacock, and
I loved it. I couldn't understand people would go to
(04:33):
go pee during halftime, go pee during the game. You don't,
You do not want to miss this show. That guy
is amazing. So here's what I need somebody to do
for me, preferably the athletic director. I really liked the
coach to do it, because if I'm the athletic director's guest,
then the coach is like, why is that guy in here?
If you would email me that you can get me
(04:54):
in the whole access the whole thing, I'll uber there
so I don't need parking. The website Michael Berryshow dot com,
or you can email Michael at Michael berryshow dot com
and if anybody else wants to join me there, because
they may give us a few passes. Ramone. Let me
tell you what happened. I don't know if I ever
told you this, Romont or you listen, listen to this.
So one year I had a buddy, Kevin Hoffman, and
(05:18):
he was on the Sports Authority Board. And Kevin had
been an HID trustee, and so he might have been
the executive director Sports Study. I don't know, he had
some official role. And I read in the paper it
has been fifteen years ago. I read in the paper
that there was a state championship. I think this was
(05:41):
before they screwed all the divisions up, so I think
you only had a five A back then, But now
you go up to six A and they got the
different sizes and all that. So five A was the
biggest school. Now five A might have meant that you
had I don't know, four hundred graduating seniors, or it
might have meant that you had forty thousand. So you'd
have these power house schools that were as big as
(06:01):
a city, and then you'd have the schools that just
barely qualified for five A and they'd try to kick
some kids out so they could go down to four
a dominant. So I go over there and Kevin took
care of me and he got me a field pass.
And I think I think I went by myself. I
can't remember if if if I had my kids yet,
I think I just went by myself. So I go
(06:23):
down there and I'm walking along the sidelines of both
teams very unobtrusively because I'm trying to get a feel
for the vibe. You know what, what's the mood of
these teams? Do they think they're gonna win? And there
is a little kid Woodlands was in the game, was
in this was in this state championship, and there is
a little dude, little Hispanic dude, and it was like,
(06:47):
uh was it Dalton Hilliard? What was the guy at LSU?
LSU had a guy before the Honey Badger. They had
a guy that was like a slot back, but they
would put him out at receiver, that at him at tailback.
He wasn't a proper tailback, but they would run that
jet sweep to him. They would just find ways to
get him the ball constantly because he was a playmaker
(07:09):
in space. So the Woodlands had this little Hispanic kid,
and that's what they would do. A reverse, a double reverse,
a wildcat, and just anything they could do to get
this kid the ball. And I'm watching this kid and
he's so good that I'm watching him even when the
ball doesn't go to him, just because he would block.
His fundamentals were good. He was intense, and he wasn't
(07:32):
very big, and I thought, man, if that kid had
some size, he could make something of himself. And I
learned his name, and nothing ever became of him. His
name was Amondola. Nobody ever heard from him. Again, No,
it's a true story. And so he would be playing
for the Patriots, and I would tell the boys that story.
And like, Dad, we already know Woodlands Riot. You saw him,
(07:55):
you identified that he had talent, and I said, well,
look at him. I mean he's little bitty, right, he's
not very big at all, and he wasn't even very
big on the high school field. But this kid was special.
And I thought, wow, what a damn shame. He probably
won't even get a D one offer because he's so little.
And what does he do. He goes off to become
(08:16):
a superstar. And in fact, if you watch that, that
documentary on the Patriots. He comes out hard against Belichick.
I mean hard against Belichick anyway. I could see me
and him being friends. But if somebody could email me
and get me on the sideline and preferably in the
locker room before halftime and after the game with north Shore,
(08:39):
I would appreciate that. Because the game is at two o'clock.
I don't see any other games that are in Houston tomorrow. Oh,
New Caney, we could do kill o'clock there. We got
Kilgore and la Vernia, the Class four A one that's
at nu Keny tomorrow night. That's the only ones I
see that are here. All around the world and everywhere,
(09:05):
he would use his word and all would say.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
That goes a clever chick.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Sheer luck. Today is Dick Van Dyke's per frame. How
cool would it be to be like Dan Pastorini close
with Dick Van Dyke And then people were like, hey,
what'd you do last night? I was just hanging out
with my buddy, my buddy Dick. We were sitting around
the fire and and I asked him to do chim chimminy,
(09:32):
chim chimminy, and he was like no, no, no, and
then I realized what really, I just wanted to do
it for you. And he was like, that's really not bad, Michael,
that's not bad. You're you're not as bad as you
think you are. And uh, it was pretty cool. And
we just kind of talked about you know, the making
of the movie and Mary Poppins and you know, who
the kids were and what they turned out to be
and in that movie and the Dick Van Dyke Show
(09:54):
and it really didn't get its fair due and Mary
Tyler Moore and then uh, and that he hates Trump. Oh,
why'd you have to tell me that? Why did I
have to I didn't need to know that. Oh, I
don't even I hope he doesn't even have a happy birthday.
Then I really do see. This is the problem when
(10:16):
you don't know things like north shore is. And I
quote you as saying you don't know where north Shore is.
People don't understand that I know exactly, but I pride
myself on high school football knowledge. Al Luna says, north
shore is the north is north of ten off Uvalde.
They have east side on the backs of their jerseys,
north shore of the ship channel. That's where the north
(10:41):
shore comes from. I don't have sideline access to the
game yet, which is I'm kind of thinking we might
be losing our touch. There was a time that we
would I would have had an email. What oh you think? So?
Ramone says, if I put on a uniform in the
shape I'm in now and go walking in there. But
(11:02):
what if coach is like Barry, get in there, Coach,
I'm not on special teams. It ain't special teams in
second down, you dumb ass. I was kidding, coach. I
was kidding. That'd be a moment, wouldn't it. Alan Eagles
Stadium is the sixty million dollars stadium in Allen, Texas,
(11:23):
where Kyler Murray played. Located in Collin County, just north
of Plano in Dallas. There is so much money north
of Dallas right now, Frisco, Alito, there's all those areas
in that area right now they are making There is
(11:45):
so much wealth in that area. Okay, apparently you can
get north shore gear. Okay, I know where to get
my north shore gear. Now, all right, I'm beyond needing
a shirt. I just need a cap. I just need
because I got a little ball spot in the back.
(12:06):
So somebody's gonna be at that game and they're gonna
take a picture of my little tiny ball spot. It's
not much for being fifty three, and then I'm gonna
have to deal with being taunted over my ball spot.
Would you do hair plugs? I guess not at this point.
Wouldn't work for you with it. I've been thinking about it.
You know, we got a hair plug client. I've been
thinking about it. I don't think it would be a
(12:26):
terrible Well. The reason is just look at Elon Musk
and he went from like he had very little as
a wispy hair, and now he's got a good solid
head of hair. And I wonder if it's probably if
I do it before it gets too bad, I don't
think anybody would notice it. It's like botox, you got
to you gotta hit that before anybody notices it. Yeah,
(12:49):
kind of wish, kind of wishing that email would come in. Hey,
we'd be honored to have you on the north Shore sideline. Absolutely,
you will be my guest coach. What's the coach's name?
I keep an eye out for that. Somebody out there
has got to know the coach of north Shore. I mean,
my goodness, I could be there Matthew McConaughey seven three thousand. Oh,
(13:14):
Gay Dave is on the line. Hey, Michael, Hey, gay Dave.
Hold on a second. I got the former owner of
Bubba's on here. One second. I want to he's he's
eighty one.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Uh Bill, Yes, sir, you're up, sir, I'm here, Thank you.
I was going to say the other day you were
talking about getting some of the Mexican coke because you
like this sugar. Well, actually, Houston Bottling makes a Kosher coke.
(13:48):
During Passover, the Rabbi comes in and clean the tanks
and blesses everything, and you can always tell them you
can only get them in the Jewish neighborhoods. Their brand
new bottles with a little red label and on the
label on the lid it says Cash Ruth Association. Those
are real cokes.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
And so I could find this at Hillcroft in South Bridswood.
You're saying.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Probably probably or or over there in the Mareland area,
And uh can. When I worked for twenty twenty years
ago or so, uh, there were two bottled companies in
America that did it. I think the other one to Boston.
And so it's it's unusual that anybody does it.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
But is it gonna say Coca Cola on it?
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Oh, it's it's it's it's the old fashioned little bottle,
brand new and uh, they only come in little bottles
and they're beautiful and they're wonderful.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
I'm gonna go in there and buy everyone they've got.
I'm serious. You know you know what I miss, Bill,
I remember, I miss the little bitty actual bottle, but
not that big one. That thing, man, that you had
to pack a lunch for that thing. You had to
tote that around for a while. But the little bitty bottle,
you remember that. I don't know when that would have been.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
That's exactly what just comes in.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Okay, so what is the term.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
It's it's a kosher coke. I mean, I know they're
produced during Passover.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Only are you Jewish?
Speaker 2 (15:28):
But that's that's all.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
No, I'm not w How do you know this?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
But I I worked. I worked for Coke Cola bottling
for a couple of years way back in the dark ages. Oh,
among my other one hundred different jobs. So I've done
so many things. I don't know y. Like I say,
when I graduated in my high school, my great aunt
asked me what am I going to do when I
grew up? When I grew up, and I said I
didn't know. I hadn't tried everything. It's truer today than
it was in.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Well, we're in the season right now. I bet you
we can find this. Oh you know who'll have it?
Kenyan Z's calls Ziggy Gruber and ask him to get
us a palette of it, because you're saying it's the
real coke, right.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
It's the real coke. We could tell once a year
when we were about to do it, because we would
get the the corn syrup in from sugar Land. It
was the only time that happened, so we saw that
sugar Land from Imperial right, right, Well we got the
real corn syrup instead of instead of the the I
(16:36):
mean the real King syrup instead of the corn syrup.
We could we could tell.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
What about it makes it kosher? What is not kosher
about a regular or is it just in celebration of
the high holy days?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
No, there's more to it than that. Because the Rabbi
comes in and watches the cleaning of the tanks and
the blessing of the tank and everything that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Bill, I don't know if you've ever heard me tell
this story, But I was clerking for a firm in
DC called Hyman Phelps and McNamara was a very Jewish firm,
very prominent firm, and they were They did a lot
of work for people in front of the FDA. They
had former FDA directors who were who were partners their
former FBI, a former FDA General counsel. And my very
(17:23):
first project was there was an attempt to bring under
one roof the ability to certify things as kosher. At
that time. We found one hundred and thirty different people
were stamping things as kosher. So you had people who
claimed to be a rabbi who weren't, who were getting
paid to put a stamp on something like Rhino Republicans
(17:44):
claiming they were, and so that stuff that clearly was
not kosher if you know the basic rules of what's
not supposed to touch, and they were stamping stuff as
kosher that wasn't And we were trying to bring that
under it a very close project. Oh Spreens, when they
(18:05):
stack those voices like that, that's another Dutch. How weird
is that, Caid Brett. It's always weird when people have
two first names caid Brett. That's his first and last name. Rights.
How about those Woodville Eagles going to Jerry's World next
(18:26):
week to play in the state championship. Southeast Texas represented
again this year in Arlington. Southeast Texas has great football.
I'm so happy I grew up there. So I got
an email from a lady named Meg Tap and she
wright all day long. People email me Michael at Michael
(18:49):
Barryshow dot com or directly through the website Michael Berryshow
dot com, and they say, Hey, who is your roofing
coming again? Who's your jeweler again? Who's your uh who's
the guy that does the rentals of the big heavy excavators.
Angus Davis. What a great name, right, Angus Davis. Who's
the guy that does this, Who's the guy that does that,
who's the guy that does the office products? And so
(19:13):
especially at this time of year, people, Hey, I got pneumonia,
I can't breathe well, or I need a breathing treatment,
or I got COVID or whatever else. What's the name
of your lady? It's Mary Tally Boden Breathe MD. And
so I sent him. But then I get an email
this morning from Meg, and it says from your recommendation,
(19:33):
I went to Breathe m d yesterday for a thirty
minute back massage in a twenty minute foot rub. Amazing,
and I highly recommend Meg in west U and I said,
Mary Tally, what in the hell's going on? And she
sent back, what do you mean? And what had happened
(19:54):
was I didn't know a BackRub and a food foot
rub was part of the operation. I'm going in there
and she's jamming stuff up my nose and laughing about
the fact that my eyes are watering and I'm flinching.
I didn't know I could go in there for good stuff,
a back massage and a foot rub. I would literally
(20:15):
go every day, wouldn't you. Well, we'll go with yeah,
when we're done today, we will go get a back
massage and a foot rub and we'll put it on
our insurance, don't I don't know how you code that.
I'm just kidding. She's only cash. That's the way to
do it, you know. Steve Hotes, he told me twenty
five years ago, I forget what kind of doctor he
(20:35):
used to be. Some doctor he ain't anymore, And he said, Michael.
Within seven years, wellness is the future. And I'm not
a guy that really gets excited about the future. That's
why I ai AI. I would like to get into
a I think there's money to be made, but I
have no idea how to do it. But anyway, he said,
within seven years, it's all wellness. It's going to be
(20:55):
a concierge practice. It's going to be all cash, no
screwing with insurances, and people are gonna want to be
proactive rather than to call Romo, rather than waiting till
they're sick. They're gonna want good gut health and good
sinuses and good And I thought, yeah, whatever, fella, and
lo and behold he set the bar for that whole
(21:20):
wellness practice kind of thing. I mean, that's basically what
Mary Tally Boden is doing. And there's there's the upper
respiratory angle, but it's a lot of wellness. So I
go in there one day. She comes in on the
weekend because my wife was insistent that I go in
there and not wait till Monday, because she knew I
wouldn't go, so she was sweet enough to go and
meet me there. And so I'm going and opening all
(21:41):
the doors and checking behind this and looking at this,
and there's one door I never even noticed was there,
and you go in there and there's a sauna in there,
and the door has just a little bit placard that
says wellness, and you go in there and there's all
this awesome, you know, eucalyptus stuff and sauna. I said,
how come I was never told like I could have
(22:02):
come and sat in this room. I could just sit
in this room for a little How long can I
sit in here? She says, well, you can't do it
now because it has to be heated up and it's
not ready. But we got breathing treatments going all day long.
But she never mentioned because there's all these little rooms, right,
And I had no idea that all this was like
little fitting rooms or whatever. And I thought, well, there's
(22:23):
only you and one other doctor and a bunch of
nurses and Peyton, her assistant. Or Peyton has a title,
I don't know what. She's a nurse practitioner or something.
I don't know what she does. I wondered what all
was going on in there. She said, oh, they're doing
breathing treatments, and they're doing this because the office was
shut down this day. And I said, oh, okay, but
(22:44):
I never knew as part of the menu of options
you could get a back massage and a foot rub.
Oh my goodness, how are you going to keep me
from knowing that? I'm really pushing her to open her
practice over on the West Side so she won't be
far from us, somewhere like the Beltway, and I tend
(23:08):
that's kind of my new central spot. If I open RCC,
it probably will not be out in the country because realistically,
my wife tells me that's ninety minutes to two hours
to get out there, and for you to go out
there and come back same night, Uncle Jerry's got to
drive you. That's unrealistic. You need to put something near
the studio Beltway and I ten so that you can
(23:30):
actually occasionally be there. So that's kind of what I'm
looking for now. I still don't have, which is this
is starting to get a combination between embarrassing and humiliating
that nobody has gotten me what. I always wait till
the last minute. That's what I do. See, this is
(23:51):
what drives me crazy. I get a text Danny m
and Dola played at Texas Tech, not at Rice. Jesus
said it was the high school championship game. He was
playing for the Woodlands. It was played at Rice Stadium.
I know where he went to college. I have followed
his career carefully. He played for the Pirate, who's my
(24:13):
favorite all time college coach. Of course, I know he
played at Tech. The point was, I was convinced that
this kid was really talented and would never have a
chance to play beyond high school. And he's going to
be out on an old rig somewhere telling how good
he was in high school and nobody would believe it.
Here we are. We got one segment left. I got
(24:35):
no sideline pass nothing. This this is the Michael Berry Show.
Yeah that's the one.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
This lack of sideline passes for the North Shore game
tomorrow has gone from kind of a funny running gag
to downright humiliating, like crawl up in the fetal position
tomorrow and wonder who's winning. Jason Wright's Coke also does
(25:19):
real sugar cokes during Ramadan. Of evidently, the bottle caps
are yellow, that's how you know, which apparently, oddly enough,
the bottle caps are yellow for the Jews. Also, well,
that's weird. You figure you do different colors for two
groups that are at each other's throats. But anyway, the
(25:43):
Jews don't really mind the Muslims, but some of the
Muslims have a Jew fixation. It's really creepy, it's really weird.
But this brings to mind another question. You add the
Jews and Muslims together and you got about four percent
of the American population, Then ninety six percent of us
(26:04):
are running around here just being boring old Christians wanting
a damn coke that isn't made out of corn on
the cob. This is stupid. When are we going to
get ours? How about maybe Easter? How about you roll
some out right now it's Christmas. How about you give
us a real coke one time a year. How do
(26:25):
they manage to squander that? I would really there's got
to be a good book on this subject. RFK is coming.
But I mean think about this. You've got you've got
one of the greatest consumer products in the history of mankind.
You make billions of dollars selling sugar water. Anybody can
(26:46):
sell sugar water. There's a very low barrier to entry.
This is not high technology here. You got sugar water. Uh,
you got food coloring, and you got carbonation. Well, hell,
you can do. Remember the soda stream guy, he used
to be all over you can do. You can carbonate now.
(27:06):
Although I will tell you this, I hate to give
them their due. There's something about the burn of the
old coca cola in your nose. You can't replicate that.
That's a glorious thing that burns. You take a big
chug and ah when you're a kid.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Boole googoo, goog google ah.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
And your throat burns, and your stomach has has little burt.
You got burps coming, and then your nose is kind
of burning. That's a wonderful sensation that is hard to replicate.
And I will tell you all of the kind of
knockoff sodas. What they lack that I that bothers me
most is that burn. They don't have a good carbonation
(27:47):
and burn to it. James writes Eljacino. There are two
young people from Zavala, Texas, the one in Deep East Texas,
not Zavala County in South Texas, competing in the Junior
World Finals rodeo in Las Vegas. Garren Grimes. What a
great rodeo name that is. And unto you shall be
(28:11):
born a son, and he will be a rodeo superstar
and he shall be called Garren Grimes. Yeah, but my
name is Susie Johnson and I'm married to Bob Johnson.
We shall change your name. The immaculate rodeo star is
born unto you. He shall be known as Garren Grimes.
(28:36):
Garren Grimes is competing in team roping and Isabella Renfro
in barrel racing. I like name. Isabella Zavala ain't big,
so to have two competing at that level is incredible.
You know who's big in rodeo now you don't know this?
And construction Mexicans. A lot of the rodeo stars now
(29:00):
are Hispanic Zara. You remember the small coke bottles in
the sixties would have the city where they were made
embossed on the bottom. Do you remember that? It's kind
of one of those things that once you say it,
I feel like I should remember it, but I don't. Honestly,
Allen High School has the largest enrollment in six A.
They have eleven hundred in their band alone. Good Lord,
(29:25):
that's a lot of tuba players. Ramon's dad said, you
could tell how big a band was by how many
tuba players they had hum because you got to balance
it out. Okay, all right, Gay Dave, Gay Dave? Are
you called him because you got me tickets to the
sideline pass?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:45):
Hold on, hold on, Roy Marsh. This is a moment
where Roy Marsh can come in. Handy sideline pass. I
reached out to a buddy that is a sideline referee
and it leave me hanging like and we'll see. Oh,
Mark Tuon, there's another one that'll be able to get
me in. You want to go to the north Shore game? Yes,
(30:07):
I do sideline pass, y'all. Hold on this, Marktoon will
be able to get me in. I don't really know
what Marktoon does for eleven. I just know he's really
really rich and he's got some kind of like a
technology incubator park. But he's a sports nut. His kid
(30:28):
went to like IMG. He had a kid. He was real, real,
real good football player. And I think a pitcher who's
a little younger than Michael, so I don't know him
quite as well. We might be making progress on the
north Shore sideline pass. I like more than one, so
I don't have to go alone. I know I said one,
(30:49):
but I really like to get clearance with the coach
also so that he knows I'm there, and I would
like to I mean, I don't want to ask for
the world. I got to a couple of plays. I
like to just get to call one play, one play.
It won't be much. Remember Starkesian last year put in
the Mattress Mac play. You remember, Oh yeah, they had
(31:11):
a trick play that they called Mattress Mac. And if
you listen to the play, remember Mac told us this,
And if you listen to the play, you can very
clearly hear Quinn. You were say, you know, Omaha, nineteen
Mattress Mac thirty one saves you money forty eight. But
but they do say Mattress Mac, and you're going, how
(31:31):
cool is that? So anyway, we could probably install maybe
a swinging gate last minute, because nobody runs a swinging gate.
That was an orange field. That was an Orangeville staple
swinging gate. You knew that was coming. I ran the
Statue of Liberty when I was in fourth grade. But
nobody really seems to want to do that much anymore.
We could do a statue. We do a fake statue
(31:52):
of liberty and then you drop it down and do
a double reverse fake Statue of Liberty. Then I pop
up and throw it deep to Dalton Hilliard. Yeah, y'all
would do the Eiffel Tower. Yeah, in the Cleveland steam Roll,
which I know what y'all. I know what y'all did. Oh,
gay Dave, you got the last thirty seconds. You got
tickets for me? I mean, you got sideline pass for
(32:14):
me for North Shore tomorrow. I can't.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
I could get you a monor attached to New Jersey
sideline pass of that who monor attached of New Jersey.
That's where I played football. Hey, I didn't get an
official rainbow Michael Berry, you know pass or anything, And
I don't have my own, you know, call in line,
like like the black you do.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Now you're on the gay line. You know what, Dave,
Next time we gathered, we gathered last night. The next
time we gather, you're gonna come because we don't. I
say this all the time. We don't have a gay
dude in our group. We got everything else. We got Blacks, Muslims,
Juice Farner. We don't have an openly gay dude. I mean,
I wonder about
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