August 13, 2025 • 30 mins
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
It's that time time time, luck and load. So Michael
Berry Show is on the air. Good morning, Michaelberry, gild morning,
Michael Berry. Good morning, Michael, Good morning, Michael. Good mornings
(00:27):
are Good morning, Michael, Zay Sailor, Good morning, El Casina,
Good morning, Michael. Hello, Hello, are you there? Good morning you,
Michael Berry. How you learned that?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I read it?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Tomorrow money, good more.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Texas, listen to.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Good Morning Texas.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Morning in your car, Good morning Texas on day and
we're happy here to talk about everything.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
We're not wearing that.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Good morning, Good lordy Texas, goody.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
We got.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
That speak condamn good morning. UFC President Dana White says
they will hold a fight card at the White House
on the two hundred and fiftieth birthday of our great
(01:40):
nation July fourth, twenty twenty six, telling CBS it's definitely
going to happen and he believes it will be shown
on CBS. UFC just signed a seven point seven billion
dollars deal with Paramount.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
And speaking of big deals in Destination Watches, there is
talk of a July fourth go ahead fight America's two
hundred and fiftieth birthday. Next summer, We're at the White
House's a pretty big venue.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Is that going to happen? Daniel? What can you tell us?
It is definitely going to happen.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
I talked to him last night, him being the president,
and I'm flying out there at the end of this
month and I'm gonna sit down and walk him through,
you know, all the plans and the renderings, and we're
going to start deciding what he wants and doesn't want.
But yeah, it's definitely going to happen. Well, think about
this when you were just asking me, you know, at
the beginning, how I felt about you know, where we
(02:39):
are today, July fourth, two hundred and fiftieth birthday of
the United States of America, live on CBS from the
White House.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
So wow, I liked to live on CBS anytime.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
You can say that. But were it on the street?
Was that Ivanka Trump was involved in this? Is that true?
Getting the Yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:58):
So when he when he when he call, Yeah, when
he called me and asked me, uh to do it,
he said, uh, I want Ivanka in the middle of this.
So Ivanka reached out to me and her and I started,
uh talking about the possibilities where it would be, and
you know, I put together all the renderings.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I'm flying out.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
There at the end of the month and going to
sit down with those two and start figuring it out.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Wow, do we know who's fighting?
Speaker 4 (03:27):
No, it's it's still almost a year away, and you
know the landscape will change several months.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
So yeah, okay it out. We'll be ready, be ready
for you. Everybody wants to be on this card. You
know who he ought to have there. You know who
he ought to have fighting, Chattaconi Knakanishi. That's what I'm
talking about. I'm never in Chad fight his cauliflower like
(04:04):
you wouldn't believe. You know the old joke, you have it,
you ought to see the other guy. Imagine Chad at
the White House. Oh how loud we everybody was cold fight?
How loud we we be cheerumpl chat those chaos be
(04:24):
that classic movie scene in the world where run forth Road.
Let me chat. He is more of a grappler.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
But can I just tell my story I thought of him,
I like, in my mind, in my mind my story,
he's like, uh, Ralph Manchio is karate kid and he's
doing the praying mantis.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Remember that blonde dude, That poor guy. He always gets
cast as the.
Speaker 6 (04:53):
Bad guy and he comes running at him, and you know,
Chad's got the one leg up and one down and
it's injured. And then dude comes in close and he
does that, you know, he goes down on one.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
It up on him.
Speaker 7 (05:04):
So and then on the screen you see Pean pal
Child by Dean Dow and there's Chad and then you
an hour over to the side and the music starts playing.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
What is the what is the music that plays with
right when Rocky wins? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, And then there's
a picture of you and me because we have to
be in this. We're over to the side and we're
you know, before the fight, we're worried. And then he wins.
Remember when they rushed the stage and he's won that
(05:39):
what its song? And then there's us and we're gotting
a lot of airtime out of there and we raise
our heads up. Yeah, and then we go running into
the ring because you know that's where the camera's gonna
be at this. Do you remember what song plays? When
(06:00):
you remember there's that moment, the victory moment, and the song.
Speaker 8 (06:04):
Plays, Okay, well, don't remember, I don't think this is it?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Remember, oh this might be yes, Oh that's it.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
This is going in the distance.
Speaker 6 (06:42):
Yeah, yes, yes, yes, this is where yeah, this is
that moment and they run out into the mean.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
You can't you can't keep it, you can't keep it together.
At this point, he's one. You can't help it. You
just finished your bluebell. That'll be chatting for a fowl.
(07:12):
You want a Polo Creed fought Pulk Hogan? Why did
a Polo Creed that fought Ulk? Who focked the Hawk?
Speaker 8 (07:20):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Rocky did? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, ye're right. Who would
Who would you want Channing to fight? I stink maybe Fetterman? Yeah,
I don't want to fight Cellos. I like fetti. Fetterman
comes out in a hoodie with his shorts and his
(07:41):
little string being legs. But he's like six eight or something,
big boy.
Speaker 8 (07:45):
What have you?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Have you ever heard of an upper decker? Well, apparently
our marines will know what this is called. I have
a story to end all stories. I had a buddy
tell me a story. I asked how things were going.
He'd been through a really nasty breakup, divorce, the whole thing,
and uh, and he has a thing for crazy women.
(08:12):
And you think, man, you think you know what crazy
women do. This is a story. This is a story.
You'll buckle up the Michael Berry Show. If you've ever
(08:33):
had a house there's peering beam or blocking base, there's
a cross base under the house. Oftentimes there is a
skirt around your house, so you don't see under there.
It's just more attractive. They'll put them on trailers that
put them on houses that are elevated. If you're on
a slab, then you wouldn't have noticed this. The good
(08:54):
news about a house being elevated on pier and beam
is the that if you can get somebody up under there,
you can do work on the house, whereas a slab
you're sort of iddle up. And that's usually where you
send in a little bit of tiny Mexican because you know,
you and I can't fit through the regular hole and
(09:16):
get up under there, so you put a little Mexican
up under there. Now, just because somebody's a Mexican doesn't
mean they have to be illegal. So one of the
things lost in all this that I'm hearing is that
legal Mexicans are commanding higher wages because there's fewer of
them supply and demand. The demand did not decrease. It
(09:37):
remained static, but the supply decrease, and we know on
our chart that that means the crisis increase. Cabbage patch
dolls all of a sudden became far more valuable when
there are a few fewer of them that one Christmas.
So that little bit Mexican fellow. You got to have
certain people to do certain things. Well, you got to
(09:57):
have marines to fight wars. You got to have crazy people, right,
you have to have people who are self denying of
themselves and their safety and their sanity, and who will
be willing to run at the bullets. You got to
have crazy people. Well, the problem with the military when
they started putting women in there for the soul's sake
(10:19):
of saying we have women, is those are not creatures.
The people that they put there who are eager to
go to war. You want to have the right people,
as Jim Collins wrote in Good Great, the right people
on the bus, in the right seat on the bus.
So my buddy is a marine and everything that that means, right,
He's one of these guys that defines himself by being
(10:40):
a marine. He's one of these guys that when we
had the RCC you were happy. He was there, but
you also, after giving him a big hug and being
happy he's there, you remembered, oh wait a second. Last
time he was here, I think he fought eight people
passed out drunk, smashed the door and ooh oh, this
is well. Anybody that knows a real marine knows that personality.
(11:01):
The Marines go looking for it. And these people go
to the Marines because this is this is that's where
they belong. It's all right, So bear in mind, my
buddy is marine. My buddy goes through a very nasty divorce.
There are kids involved. Uh, there's a I'm not going
to say which department, it's not HPD, but it was
(11:22):
a local police department officer who was banging his wife.
And you know, so he drives over. He's got the
kids in the back seat, so he's he's been through
a lot, and so he starts dating after that. If
you know this personality, this type of personality, you know
(11:42):
these guys are. They're they're hard charging, heart of gold
to do anything in the world for you, but they
make terrible decisions and that's kind of part of what
makes them interesting, right. They're always there's always going to
be something screwed up. So no, I'm not telling his name.
You know, you don't know, you never met it. So
(12:02):
my buddy starts stating this girl and certain guys are
attracted to women and they don't realize it. They're attracted
to women who are not going to be good for them.
Let's say that, right, And a lot of times that's
Hispanic girls that are very jealous and crazy but cute
and you know, freaking the sheet sort of thing, and
(12:24):
they love that, and so it's very volatile and that
adds to the excitement. She said, Osa, he's crazy there,
you know, and they even make jokes. You know, we're
both crazy, you know, but they're we're in a cabine
at the beach for the weekend, and you know, thirty
days later, she's pregnant. I mean, you know the type. Okay,
So he's he's out of a bad marriage, as two kids,
(12:45):
working like crazy and trying to keep it all together.
He starts dating this girl and he's crazy and she's crazy,
and he decides, you know what this is, this is
not and she's crazy. I'm going to break up with
her now. This is one of those relationships that involves
(13:06):
GPS trackers and phones being checked and private investigators at
I mean, it's just it's nutty.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Well, he is at work and she goes to his
house and he's got a doggy door because he's got
he's got dogs, and she uses the doggy door to
access the house. Now you know, when I tell you that,
(13:37):
you go, well, that's kind of weird, and you or
maybe you hadn't actually did that. Here she went in
the dog Just imagine, you know, I always forced myself
to see something in my mind's eye and then it
becomes far more ridiculous. So just imagine you're the deo
sex mocking of this story. You're you're watching from above.
You got a cross section view. The roof has been
(13:58):
removed on the house, and you're looking down and here
is this woman. She's gone around the house, She's picked
in the windows, and here she is crawling through the
doggy door. First of all, the doggy door smells like ass.
We know that, right, It's filthy, and there she is crawling.
Just imagine watching her crawl through the doggy door. Okay,
(14:20):
then she's inside the house. She now has to pick
herself up and dust her stuff. She has come through
the doggy door. She is at a moment right now.
You don't later want to have to defend it in court. Okay,
that's you know, but just go ahead and bawl the
kid's rabbits your nuts. Glenn close. So here we are.
She is in the house. That's not going to be
(14:42):
the craziest thing she does on this day. She ransacks
the house. She goes through everything in his house. She
basically she's if he wasn't sure she was crazy, he's
going to She's going to make certain that by the
time he leaves, she know. Sorry, by the time she leaves,
he knows she's crazy. Have you ever heard determined upper decker?
(15:09):
I hadn't either, but everybody's about to know what an
upper decker? Yeah, stay tuned the Michael Barry Show under
about ten we all. First time I ever heard anybody
cover this song was pre RCC. My wife is going
(15:32):
to get Crockett. She's gone for six weeks and it's
just me and Michael te at the house and I'm
having parties every night. When when my wife came home,
she he told my wife dad a party every night.
(15:54):
I couldn't sleep. Charlie Hager's there and it's kind of
a there's a lot of there's several musicians there, and
then I would just call on guys randomly and they're
on the couches and a lot of people piled in there,
and it's a heck of a time and it's getting late.
I call on Charlie to do a number and he
(16:15):
breaks into this first time I've ever heard anybody, first
time I'd ever heard anybody cover that song, and that
became one of his throwdown songs I would always ask
him to do. I did not know that. So Charlie
Hager's at the Armdilla Palace this Friday night or Captain
Legendary Band this Friday night. Oh you're going to see him? Well,
that'll be nice. How'd you know they texted you? Oh
(16:37):
must be nice if they reached out to you and
asked you to come. Okay, all right? So anyway, guy
sent me an email Bobby Crumpley during the break and
he said, this is why you don't crawl under the
crawl spaces under the house.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Well, first of all, I don't because I'm American and
I don't want to get under the crawl space of
a house. Secondly, there were forty five rattlesnakes in Albany, Texas,
and this guy goes in there and pulls him out.
You know those guys like that, that's a different breed. Man.
I hold my man who had cheap compared to fellas
like that. He gets up under there and he's pulling
those snakes out, and the snakes are striking at him,
(17:13):
and he's going, yeah, this one's a mean one right here. Anyway,
So my buddy's gone through a bad breakup wherein his
wife has had an affair with a law enforcement officer.
He goes over to the house where they're having an affair,
calls the popo over and says, y'all better go over here.
I'm gonna go in there and kill him. I got
my kids out in the car. Of course, he's got
(17:34):
to go to a work meeting, so he needs her
to take the kids so he can go to the
work meeting. Oh, by the way, that I mentioned they
were married five minutes ago, and she's laid up with
the law enforcement officer. It's just not a good picture.
And she ends up getting pregnant by the law enforcements.
But that's a different story, all right. So that's a
whole different that's his headspace at this point. So he
starts dating miss Crazy because he likes crazy. I should
(17:58):
tell you that all there's a lot of these stories.
We could go on for a while. I'm not going to.
But they're all very attractive ladies. Don't get me on
if you like the bolted on. Look, that's his thing.
And they're all nuts and they might have all been strippers.
We don't know. He doesn't ever ask because he doesn't
want to know. But they're nuts and he's nuts. But
(18:19):
he's my friend. And so he's at work. Kids are
at his mother's house because remember he's gone through a
divorce and when the man gets prime custody over young
kids and it's a female judge that ought to tell
you how crazy his excess. Yeah, the whole story, all right.
(18:42):
So he's at work and all of a sudden, his
ring camera goes off to and there's old Maria I
don't know her name is. She's come through the doggy
door that right there. When he tells this story, Oh
she's crazy, he said, we're not even getting started yet.
(19:03):
Oh okay, all right. So she's already put GPS trackers
because you know hispanics are they're jealous. Blacks and whites
are not jealous like his. His spantings are jealous. So
she crawls through the crossbaye I mean the doggy door.
I had to ask him which breed. Apparently got big dog,
so it wasn't a chihuahua. You know, she's little, but
(19:25):
she ain't that little. So she's in the house. She
gets up and all I'm thinking is if I had
watched somebody coming through the like that made sense to
you at that moment, all right, So she gets up,
she ransacks the house, throws everything everywhere. She he's a marine.
(19:45):
She takes the uh you know that stick them that
Leicester the molester Hayes stick them that you have for
rats and roaches. She takes one of those with a
gum on those things that's a that's a pegamento like
you ain't ever seen. She takes that and smears it
on his dress blue marine's uniform. Well, being a marine
(20:09):
is the highlight of this guy's life. I mean, you
have she is defiling everything that is decent in this
man's life. But then she does something well I don't
know what order. We don't know what order, because they
have cameras upstairs. She goes into his restroom and she
delivers what apparently is known as an upper decker. I
(20:31):
did not know what a number decker was, but I
do now, and so will you. Apparently this is a
well known fact. I looked it up on the Urban
Dictionary and it is and does in fact have its
own entry along with the word that's credited to me
and unrelated. So I don't know if she needed the poop.
Speaker 7 (20:51):
Or she.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
My mother used to do prune juice. I don't know
if there was malice a forethought, or if it just
happened on the spot. Maybe in the middle of ransacking
his house, she thought to herself, I need to move
my bowels. At some point I shall go into his
restroom and have a movement, and then she comes with
(21:20):
the idea, or if she went over there and all
of this was one big scheme, because I just don't
know where on earth you get the idea to do
what she's about to do. I never even I have
never understood. You know what we have done over the years.
(21:44):
Tell me about the time you quit your job and
your Johnny paycheck, take this job and shove it, and
I am always shocked how often pooping on stuff before
you leave is part of the deal. I watched this
and watched this show called I Survived a few years ago,
(22:06):
and he's two guys and they're out and they're out
in Alaska, and they fly the little plane themselves and
they crash it coming in. So they're stuck out there
and they're surveyors and they're out surveying and here comes
this bear. And these are bad bears. These are not
your Colorado bears. These are Alaska. But these things will
attack you. And the one guy starts crawling up the tree,
(22:28):
which is a great idea till you see a bear
crawl a tree, climb a tree. They run up the
tree and the dude rips his buddy's scalp off and
then once he's got him good and dead, he stands
above him and takes a big old poop. And the
guy said, it was like he was dropping a brick
on me, because he is a bear. You know, a
(22:49):
bear scat is very thick. All right, Well, this woman
is not a bear, but apparently she'd had reefried beans
for breakfast, whereupon she delivers what he's known as an
up protecting wrong now and unprotect them must be right.
You're listening to Michael Berry. But me think people don't
(23:11):
understand when they go, oh, you know, they sent in
the Marines and everybody. You know, as Americans, we get
proud ash and the fens Marines will kick their ass.
You don't understand. Those guys are crazy, a genuinely crazy.
(23:32):
I mean, Marcus the Trail's crazy. He's a sealed not
a marine, but they work closely together. Those guys are nuts,
completely nuts. And then you add in alcohol, jealousy or
anything like this. But this story is not about my
friend being crazy saving except for the fact that he
dates and marries women that are crazy. Well, we're on
(23:53):
the second one and she is, uh, she's nuts. She's
rebound girl. But when I say she's the rebound girl,
she's like Dennis Rodman rebound, you know what I mean.
She'll serve the purpose of the rebound. But there's gonna
be some crazy getting married in a dress. You know,
you're trying to be in the finals, and she's off
in Vegas, you know, painted up any So here we are.
(24:18):
She has crawled through the dog you door, and she
steals his dog Now to put this into perspective, my
buddy wears Hawaiian shirts. You can have these shirts made.
I had made one made with my wife on it
because that was funny. He wears Hawaiian shirts with pictures
(24:40):
of his dog on the Hawaiian shirt. Yeah, he loves
his dog. So so this isn't you know, This isn't
as pet hamster, as goldfish. This is boiling the rabbit.
Glenn close fatal attraction kind of was that fatal tra
what's that called?
Speaker 2 (24:55):
You?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
All right? So she steals his dog. But after stealing
his dog, I think she thought to herself, wow, you know,
stealing his dog. That'll mess him up mentally. But and
this is where this is where she thinks hard. I've
stolen his dog, I've destroyed his dress blues, I've ransacked
(25:17):
his house. I have broken into his house. She's done
a number of things to this man, all in one visit.
And then and again I think of the stupidest stuff.
I can't help but think did she need to poop
before she went over? And it's like, well, I don't
(25:40):
have you know, remember, old girl put the diaper on.
She's going to Florida. Nobody cared that she was going
there to kill that woman. No, that was never taught.
She was driving that far to kill kill her, to
kill her rival. Nobody thought about that. All we cared
about was she could not be bothered to stop on
the way to kill this one for ten minutes and
(26:02):
get one of those hot dogs at the convenience store
and a diet coke and maybe you know who who
or whatever. No, no, no, she needed to get there
fast and she could not have to stop. So she
bought deon Sanders depends, and she strapped that thing on
so she could just drive. Can you imagine roundabout Baton
(26:23):
Rouge six'? TEN i? Ten was it? Sixty wasn't?
Speaker 7 (26:27):
TEN i?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Ten what's what's the? Split? There just past our station right,
there and she's, THINKING i need To oh, NO i
got my. Diaper let it, go all? Right so this crazy,
woman she's done all these things at his. House she
goes into his restroom and delivers WHAT i now. Know
And i'm getting emails from buddies of mine that are military.
Veterans and, yes this is a very well known. Act
(26:51):
the upper. Decker and let me tell your mom what
the upper decker. Is give into a, baseball, Right so
imagine you're you're Not Buck. Sexton y'all can Tell. BUCK
i said that he'd never been to a, program to
a sporting. EVENT i don't think Until clay took. It
that's That's. Buck you got No buck to understand. It
so at the GAME i remember on seven ninety years,
(27:15):
ago they were. MAD i don't know if it Was
adam and, uh what is Wexs, Adam adam And. ADAM
i don't know if it was To. ADAMS i might
have Been Matt. THOMAS i don't know if they know
they have the same. Name somebody programming didn't realize you
can't put the same this guy's with the same name
on there because somebody calls a, Hey. Adam, WAIT i
think it might have Been Matt. Thomas you know sports
(27:37):
freaks on the sports. Stations they get upset that no
city Is philadelphia other Than, Philadelphia, Right philadelphia fans are?
Crazy how come y'all are crazy like? That so nobody's
in the lower bowl until you, know halftime because the
kind of people who can afford the seats down there
don't get there early with their, kid buy them a
jersey and watch the warm. Ups they, rusty, heartened and
(27:59):
they comes strolling in whenever they want to come strolling.
In that's what rich people. Do that's like, SAYING i
don't know why he's got why he gets to have
a rolls was he doesn't even drive it every. Day
well he's got it. Anyway so that's the lower, bowl
you know down down, Front, okay or at a baseball,
game you know the lower dag, mezzanine got disparity sweets
(28:20):
and all. That, well then you've got the, tank, right
remember the tank that in Uh Godfather part. Two that's
where they hide the. Gun that's cops tell. Me that's
one of the spots where people hide. Stuff although it's
kind of became sort of passe cliche to put to
hide stuff in the toilet bowl because now they're going to,
(28:42):
well you don't want to. Check in this, case she does.
Not the way THE i don't. Know i'm sure you know,
this but the way a toilet is set up is
you've got a lower, bowl or we'll call that the
lower deck here on the and and you can you
can stand up and, pee, uh or you can sit,
down turn the opposite, way drop a, deuce drop the
(29:03):
kids off at the pool and then in time they
put a nice little padding in. There you lift it
and you drop, it and that we. Came you know
what men and women fight about and all. That but
then there is the mechanism behind. There unless you're a,
plumber likelihood you don't get into that area very. Often,
well this girl is not a, plumber but she did
end up in that. Area she takes the top of
(29:23):
the bowl off and places it. Somewhere we don't. Know
that part of the story is. Missing it's not that.
Important she proceeds to take a massive dump in that,
bowl the upper, bowl upper. Deck now you got to
(29:43):
think about, how aside from the fact that you are,
disgusting this is how much you love this guy you
do This aside from, that imagine how she's got to
contort herself to get her booty hanging over the side
to get this thing. Done, yeah, Yeah and so all this,
thought you, know did you plan this ahead of time
(30:04):
or are you middle of ransay and you got a?
Poop you're, like, AH i got a. Poop this is an.
Opportunity she drops the deuce in, there she puts the
bowl back on, top so you won't. Know, now the
way this works IS i didn't realize think about. It
that's the water coming down in. There so when you
pee and you go to flush the, toilet there's old
Girl maria's who coming in. There so until that's. Gone,
(30:30):
well at the end of this, story there's a group of.
Us he's telling a story, too and he, said she's.
Toxic you think you think your whole water supply is now.
Contaminated she's very. Toxic well you would, think oh, Boy,
no he never saw her. Again he had her. Arrested
(30:53):
they had sex that night after he bailed her.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Out
It's that time time time, luck and load. So Michael
Berry Show is on the air. Good morning, Michaelberry, gild morning,
Michael Berry. Good morning, Michael, Good morning, Michael. Good mornings
(00:27):
are Good morning, Michael, Zay Sailor, Good morning, El Casina,
Good morning, Michael. Hello, Hello, are you there? Good morning you,
Michael Berry. How you learned that?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I read it?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Tomorrow money, good more.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Texas, listen to.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Good Morning Texas.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Morning in your car, Good morning Texas on day and
we're happy here to talk about everything.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
We're not wearing that.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Good morning, Good lordy Texas, goody.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
We got.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
That speak condamn good morning. UFC President Dana White says
they will hold a fight card at the White House
on the two hundred and fiftieth birthday of our great
(01:40):
nation July fourth, twenty twenty six, telling CBS it's definitely
going to happen and he believes it will be shown
on CBS. UFC just signed a seven point seven billion
dollars deal with Paramount.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
And speaking of big deals in Destination Watches, there is
talk of a July fourth go ahead fight America's two
hundred and fiftieth birthday. Next summer, We're at the White
House's a pretty big venue.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Is that going to happen? Daniel? What can you tell us?
It is definitely going to happen.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
I talked to him last night, him being the president,
and I'm flying out there at the end of this
month and I'm gonna sit down and walk him through,
you know, all the plans and the renderings, and we're
going to start deciding what he wants and doesn't want.
But yeah, it's definitely going to happen. Well, think about
this when you were just asking me, you know, at
the beginning, how I felt about you know, where we
(02:39):
are today, July fourth, two hundred and fiftieth birthday of
the United States of America, live on CBS from the
White House.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
So wow, I liked to live on CBS anytime.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
You can say that. But were it on the street?
Was that Ivanka Trump was involved in this? Is that true?
Getting the Yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:58):
So when he when he when he call, Yeah, when
he called me and asked me, uh to do it,
he said, uh, I want Ivanka in the middle of this.
So Ivanka reached out to me and her and I started,
uh talking about the possibilities where it would be, and
you know, I put together all the renderings.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I'm flying out.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
There at the end of the month and going to
sit down with those two and start figuring it out.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Wow, do we know who's fighting?
Speaker 4 (03:27):
No, it's it's still almost a year away, and you
know the landscape will change several months.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
So yeah, okay it out. We'll be ready, be ready
for you. Everybody wants to be on this card. You
know who he ought to have there. You know who
he ought to have fighting, Chattaconi Knakanishi. That's what I'm
talking about. I'm never in Chad fight his cauliflower like
(04:04):
you wouldn't believe. You know the old joke, you have it,
you ought to see the other guy. Imagine Chad at
the White House. Oh how loud we everybody was cold fight?
How loud we we be cheerumpl chat those chaos be
(04:24):
that classic movie scene in the world where run forth Road.
Let me chat. He is more of a grappler.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
But can I just tell my story I thought of him,
I like, in my mind, in my mind my story,
he's like, uh, Ralph Manchio is karate kid and he's
doing the praying mantis.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Remember that blonde dude, That poor guy. He always gets
cast as the.
Speaker 6 (04:53):
Bad guy and he comes running at him, and you know,
Chad's got the one leg up and one down and
it's injured. And then dude comes in close and he
does that, you know, he goes down on one.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
It up on him.
Speaker 7 (05:04):
So and then on the screen you see Pean pal
Child by Dean Dow and there's Chad and then you
an hour over to the side and the music starts playing.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
What is the what is the music that plays with
right when Rocky wins? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, And then there's
a picture of you and me because we have to
be in this. We're over to the side and we're
you know, before the fight, we're worried. And then he wins.
Remember when they rushed the stage and he's won that
(05:39):
what its song? And then there's us and we're gotting
a lot of airtime out of there and we raise
our heads up. Yeah, and then we go running into
the ring because you know that's where the camera's gonna
be at this. Do you remember what song plays? When
(06:00):
you remember there's that moment, the victory moment, and the song.
Speaker 8 (06:04):
Plays, Okay, well, don't remember, I don't think this is it?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Remember, oh this might be yes, Oh that's it.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
This is going in the distance.
Speaker 6 (06:42):
Yeah, yes, yes, yes, this is where yeah, this is
that moment and they run out into the mean.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
You can't you can't keep it, you can't keep it together.
At this point, he's one. You can't help it. You
just finished your bluebell. That'll be chatting for a fowl.
(07:12):
You want a Polo Creed fought Pulk Hogan? Why did
a Polo Creed that fought Ulk? Who focked the Hawk?
Speaker 8 (07:20):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Rocky did? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, ye're right. Who would
Who would you want Channing to fight? I stink maybe Fetterman? Yeah,
I don't want to fight Cellos. I like fetti. Fetterman
comes out in a hoodie with his shorts and his
(07:41):
little string being legs. But he's like six eight or something,
big boy.
Speaker 8 (07:45):
What have you?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Have you ever heard of an upper decker? Well, apparently
our marines will know what this is called. I have
a story to end all stories. I had a buddy
tell me a story. I asked how things were going.
He'd been through a really nasty breakup, divorce, the whole thing,
and uh, and he has a thing for crazy women.
(08:12):
And you think, man, you think you know what crazy
women do. This is a story. This is a story.
You'll buckle up the Michael Berry Show. If you've ever
(08:33):
had a house there's peering beam or blocking base, there's
a cross base under the house. Oftentimes there is a
skirt around your house, so you don't see under there.
It's just more attractive. They'll put them on trailers that
put them on houses that are elevated. If you're on
a slab, then you wouldn't have noticed this. The good
(08:54):
news about a house being elevated on pier and beam
is the that if you can get somebody up under there,
you can do work on the house, whereas a slab
you're sort of iddle up. And that's usually where you
send in a little bit of tiny Mexican because you know,
you and I can't fit through the regular hole and
(09:16):
get up under there, so you put a little Mexican
up under there. Now, just because somebody's a Mexican doesn't
mean they have to be illegal. So one of the
things lost in all this that I'm hearing is that
legal Mexicans are commanding higher wages because there's fewer of
them supply and demand. The demand did not decrease. It
(09:37):
remained static, but the supply decrease, and we know on
our chart that that means the crisis increase. Cabbage patch
dolls all of a sudden became far more valuable when
there are a few fewer of them that one Christmas.
So that little bit Mexican fellow. You got to have
certain people to do certain things. Well, you got to
(09:57):
have marines to fight wars. You got to have crazy people, right,
you have to have people who are self denying of
themselves and their safety and their sanity, and who will
be willing to run at the bullets. You got to
have crazy people. Well, the problem with the military when
they started putting women in there for the soul's sake
(10:19):
of saying we have women, is those are not creatures.
The people that they put there who are eager to
go to war. You want to have the right people,
as Jim Collins wrote in Good Great, the right people
on the bus, in the right seat on the bus.
So my buddy is a marine and everything that that means, right,
He's one of these guys that defines himself by being
(10:40):
a marine. He's one of these guys that when we
had the RCC you were happy. He was there, but
you also, after giving him a big hug and being
happy he's there, you remembered, oh wait a second. Last
time he was here, I think he fought eight people
passed out drunk, smashed the door and ooh oh, this
is well. Anybody that knows a real marine knows that personality.
(11:01):
The Marines go looking for it. And these people go
to the Marines because this is this is that's where
they belong. It's all right, So bear in mind, my
buddy is marine. My buddy goes through a very nasty divorce.
There are kids involved. Uh, there's a I'm not going
to say which department, it's not HPD, but it was
(11:22):
a local police department officer who was banging his wife.
And you know, so he drives over. He's got the
kids in the back seat, so he's he's been through
a lot, and so he starts dating after that. If
you know this personality, this type of personality, you know
(11:42):
these guys are. They're they're hard charging, heart of gold
to do anything in the world for you, but they
make terrible decisions and that's kind of part of what
makes them interesting, right. They're always there's always going to
be something screwed up. So no, I'm not telling his name.
You know, you don't know, you never met it. So
(12:02):
my buddy starts stating this girl and certain guys are
attracted to women and they don't realize it. They're attracted
to women who are not going to be good for them.
Let's say that, right, And a lot of times that's
Hispanic girls that are very jealous and crazy but cute
and you know, freaking the sheet sort of thing, and
(12:24):
they love that, and so it's very volatile and that
adds to the excitement. She said, Osa, he's crazy there,
you know, and they even make jokes. You know, we're
both crazy, you know, but they're we're in a cabine
at the beach for the weekend, and you know, thirty
days later, she's pregnant. I mean, you know the type. Okay,
So he's he's out of a bad marriage, as two kids,
(12:45):
working like crazy and trying to keep it all together.
He starts dating this girl and he's crazy and she's crazy,
and he decides, you know what this is, this is
not and she's crazy. I'm going to break up with
her now. This is one of those relationships that involves
(13:06):
GPS trackers and phones being checked and private investigators at
I mean, it's just it's nutty.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Well, he is at work and she goes to his
house and he's got a doggy door because he's got
he's got dogs, and she uses the doggy door to
access the house. Now you know, when I tell you that,
(13:37):
you go, well, that's kind of weird, and you or
maybe you hadn't actually did that. Here she went in
the dog Just imagine, you know, I always forced myself
to see something in my mind's eye and then it
becomes far more ridiculous. So just imagine you're the deo
sex mocking of this story. You're you're watching from above.
You got a cross section view. The roof has been
(13:58):
removed on the house, and you're looking down and here
is this woman. She's gone around the house, She's picked
in the windows, and here she is crawling through the
doggy door. First of all, the doggy door smells like ass.
We know that, right, It's filthy, and there she is crawling.
Just imagine watching her crawl through the doggy door. Okay,
(14:20):
then she's inside the house. She now has to pick
herself up and dust her stuff. She has come through
the doggy door. She is at a moment right now.
You don't later want to have to defend it in court. Okay,
that's you know, but just go ahead and bawl the
kid's rabbits your nuts. Glenn close. So here we are.
She is in the house. That's not going to be
(14:42):
the craziest thing she does on this day. She ransacks
the house. She goes through everything in his house. She
basically she's if he wasn't sure she was crazy, he's
going to She's going to make certain that by the
time he leaves, she know. Sorry, by the time she leaves,
he knows she's crazy. Have you ever heard determined upper decker?
(15:09):
I hadn't either, but everybody's about to know what an
upper decker? Yeah, stay tuned the Michael Barry Show under
about ten we all. First time I ever heard anybody
cover this song was pre RCC. My wife is going
(15:32):
to get Crockett. She's gone for six weeks and it's
just me and Michael te at the house and I'm
having parties every night. When when my wife came home,
she he told my wife dad a party every night.
(15:54):
I couldn't sleep. Charlie Hager's there and it's kind of
a there's a lot of there's several musicians there, and
then I would just call on guys randomly and they're
on the couches and a lot of people piled in there,
and it's a heck of a time and it's getting late.
I call on Charlie to do a number and he
(16:15):
breaks into this first time I've ever heard anybody, first
time I'd ever heard anybody cover that song, and that
became one of his throwdown songs I would always ask
him to do. I did not know that. So Charlie
Hager's at the Armdilla Palace this Friday night or Captain
Legendary Band this Friday night. Oh you're going to see him? Well,
that'll be nice. How'd you know they texted you? Oh
(16:37):
must be nice if they reached out to you and
asked you to come. Okay, all right? So anyway, guy
sent me an email Bobby Crumpley during the break and
he said, this is why you don't crawl under the
crawl spaces under the house.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Well, first of all, I don't because I'm American and
I don't want to get under the crawl space of
a house. Secondly, there were forty five rattlesnakes in Albany, Texas,
and this guy goes in there and pulls him out.
You know those guys like that, that's a different breed. Man.
I hold my man who had cheap compared to fellas
like that. He gets up under there and he's pulling
those snakes out, and the snakes are striking at him,
(17:13):
and he's going, yeah, this one's a mean one right here. Anyway,
So my buddy's gone through a bad breakup wherein his
wife has had an affair with a law enforcement officer.
He goes over to the house where they're having an affair,
calls the popo over and says, y'all better go over here.
I'm gonna go in there and kill him. I got
my kids out in the car. Of course, he's got
(17:34):
to go to a work meeting, so he needs her
to take the kids so he can go to the
work meeting. Oh, by the way, that I mentioned they
were married five minutes ago, and she's laid up with
the law enforcement officer. It's just not a good picture.
And she ends up getting pregnant by the law enforcements.
But that's a different story, all right. So that's a
whole different that's his headspace at this point. So he
starts dating miss Crazy because he likes crazy. I should
(17:58):
tell you that all there's a lot of these stories.
We could go on for a while. I'm not going to.
But they're all very attractive ladies. Don't get me on
if you like the bolted on. Look, that's his thing.
And they're all nuts and they might have all been strippers.
We don't know. He doesn't ever ask because he doesn't
want to know. But they're nuts and he's nuts. But
(18:19):
he's my friend. And so he's at work. Kids are
at his mother's house because remember he's gone through a
divorce and when the man gets prime custody over young
kids and it's a female judge that ought to tell
you how crazy his excess. Yeah, the whole story, all right.
(18:42):
So he's at work and all of a sudden, his
ring camera goes off to and there's old Maria I
don't know her name is. She's come through the doggy
door that right there. When he tells this story, Oh
she's crazy, he said, we're not even getting started yet.
(19:03):
Oh okay, all right. So she's already put GPS trackers
because you know hispanics are they're jealous. Blacks and whites
are not jealous like his. His spantings are jealous. So
she crawls through the crossbaye I mean the doggy door.
I had to ask him which breed. Apparently got big dog,
so it wasn't a chihuahua. You know, she's little, but
(19:25):
she ain't that little. So she's in the house. She
gets up and all I'm thinking is if I had
watched somebody coming through the like that made sense to
you at that moment, all right, So she gets up,
she ransacks the house, throws everything everywhere. She he's a marine.
(19:45):
She takes the uh you know that stick them that
Leicester the molester Hayes stick them that you have for
rats and roaches. She takes one of those with a
gum on those things that's a that's a pegamento like
you ain't ever seen. She takes that and smears it
on his dress blue marine's uniform. Well, being a marine
(20:09):
is the highlight of this guy's life. I mean, you
have she is defiling everything that is decent in this
man's life. But then she does something well I don't
know what order. We don't know what order, because they
have cameras upstairs. She goes into his restroom and she
delivers what apparently is known as an upper decker. I
(20:31):
did not know what a number decker was, but I
do now, and so will you. Apparently this is a
well known fact. I looked it up on the Urban
Dictionary and it is and does in fact have its
own entry along with the word that's credited to me
and unrelated. So I don't know if she needed the poop.
Speaker 7 (20:51):
Or she.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
My mother used to do prune juice. I don't know
if there was malice a forethought, or if it just
happened on the spot. Maybe in the middle of ransacking
his house, she thought to herself, I need to move
my bowels. At some point I shall go into his
restroom and have a movement, and then she comes with
(21:20):
the idea, or if she went over there and all
of this was one big scheme, because I just don't
know where on earth you get the idea to do
what she's about to do. I never even I have
never understood. You know what we have done over the years.
(21:44):
Tell me about the time you quit your job and
your Johnny paycheck, take this job and shove it, and
I am always shocked how often pooping on stuff before
you leave is part of the deal. I watched this
and watched this show called I Survived a few years ago,
(22:06):
and he's two guys and they're out and they're out
in Alaska, and they fly the little plane themselves and
they crash it coming in. So they're stuck out there
and they're surveyors and they're out surveying and here comes
this bear. And these are bad bears. These are not
your Colorado bears. These are Alaska. But these things will
attack you. And the one guy starts crawling up the tree,
(22:28):
which is a great idea till you see a bear
crawl a tree, climb a tree. They run up the
tree and the dude rips his buddy's scalp off and
then once he's got him good and dead, he stands
above him and takes a big old poop. And the
guy said, it was like he was dropping a brick
on me, because he is a bear. You know, a
(22:49):
bear scat is very thick. All right, Well, this woman
is not a bear, but apparently she'd had reefried beans
for breakfast, whereupon she delivers what he's known as an
up protecting wrong now and unprotect them must be right.
You're listening to Michael Berry. But me think people don't
(23:11):
understand when they go, oh, you know, they sent in
the Marines and everybody. You know, as Americans, we get
proud ash and the fens Marines will kick their ass.
You don't understand. Those guys are crazy, a genuinely crazy.
(23:32):
I mean, Marcus the Trail's crazy. He's a sealed not
a marine, but they work closely together. Those guys are nuts,
completely nuts. And then you add in alcohol, jealousy or
anything like this. But this story is not about my
friend being crazy saving except for the fact that he
dates and marries women that are crazy. Well, we're on
(23:53):
the second one and she is, uh, she's nuts. She's
rebound girl. But when I say she's the rebound girl,
she's like Dennis Rodman rebound, you know what I mean.
She'll serve the purpose of the rebound. But there's gonna
be some crazy getting married in a dress. You know,
you're trying to be in the finals, and she's off
in Vegas, you know, painted up any So here we are.
(24:18):
She has crawled through the dog you door, and she
steals his dog Now to put this into perspective, my
buddy wears Hawaiian shirts. You can have these shirts made.
I had made one made with my wife on it
because that was funny. He wears Hawaiian shirts with pictures
(24:40):
of his dog on the Hawaiian shirt. Yeah, he loves
his dog. So so this isn't you know, This isn't
as pet hamster, as goldfish. This is boiling the rabbit.
Glenn close fatal attraction kind of was that fatal tra
what's that called?
Speaker 2 (24:55):
You?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
All right? So she steals his dog. But after stealing
his dog, I think she thought to herself, wow, you know,
stealing his dog. That'll mess him up mentally. But and
this is where this is where she thinks hard. I've
stolen his dog, I've destroyed his dress blues, I've ransacked
(25:17):
his house. I have broken into his house. She's done
a number of things to this man, all in one visit.
And then and again I think of the stupidest stuff.
I can't help but think did she need to poop
before she went over? And it's like, well, I don't
(25:40):
have you know, remember, old girl put the diaper on.
She's going to Florida. Nobody cared that she was going
there to kill that woman. No, that was never taught.
She was driving that far to kill kill her, to
kill her rival. Nobody thought about that. All we cared
about was she could not be bothered to stop on
the way to kill this one for ten minutes and
(26:02):
get one of those hot dogs at the convenience store
and a diet coke and maybe you know who who
or whatever. No, no, no, she needed to get there
fast and she could not have to stop. So she
bought deon Sanders depends, and she strapped that thing on
so she could just drive. Can you imagine roundabout Baton
(26:23):
Rouge six'? TEN i? Ten was it? Sixty wasn't?
Speaker 7 (26:27):
TEN i?
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Ten what's what's the? Split? There just past our station right,
there and she's, THINKING i need To oh, NO i
got my. Diaper let it, go all? Right so this crazy,
woman she's done all these things at his. House she
goes into his restroom and delivers WHAT i now. Know
And i'm getting emails from buddies of mine that are military.
Veterans and, yes this is a very well known. Act
(26:51):
the upper. Decker and let me tell your mom what
the upper decker. Is give into a, baseball, Right so
imagine you're you're Not Buck. Sexton y'all can Tell. BUCK
i said that he'd never been to a, program to
a sporting. EVENT i don't think Until clay took. It
that's That's. Buck you got No buck to understand. It
so at the GAME i remember on seven ninety years,
(27:15):
ago they were. MAD i don't know if it Was
adam and, uh what is Wexs, Adam adam And. ADAM
i don't know if it was To. ADAMS i might
have Been Matt. THOMAS i don't know if they know
they have the same. Name somebody programming didn't realize you
can't put the same this guy's with the same name
on there because somebody calls a, Hey. Adam, WAIT i
think it might have Been Matt. Thomas you know sports
(27:37):
freaks on the sports. Stations they get upset that no
city Is philadelphia other Than, Philadelphia, Right philadelphia fans are?
Crazy how come y'all are crazy like? That so nobody's
in the lower bowl until you, know halftime because the
kind of people who can afford the seats down there
don't get there early with their, kid buy them a
jersey and watch the warm. Ups they, rusty, heartened and
(27:59):
they comes strolling in whenever they want to come strolling.
In that's what rich people. Do that's like, SAYING i
don't know why he's got why he gets to have
a rolls was he doesn't even drive it every. Day
well he's got it. Anyway so that's the lower, bowl
you know down down, Front, okay or at a baseball,
game you know the lower dag, mezzanine got disparity sweets
(28:20):
and all. That, well then you've got the, tank, right
remember the tank that in Uh Godfather part. Two that's
where they hide the. Gun that's cops tell. Me that's
one of the spots where people hide. Stuff although it's
kind of became sort of passe cliche to put to
hide stuff in the toilet bowl because now they're going to,
(28:42):
well you don't want to. Check in this, case she does.
Not the way THE i don't. Know i'm sure you know,
this but the way a toilet is set up is
you've got a lower, bowl or we'll call that the
lower deck here on the and and you can you
can stand up and, pee, uh or you can sit,
down turn the opposite, way drop a, deuce drop the
(29:03):
kids off at the pool and then in time they
put a nice little padding in. There you lift it
and you drop, it and that we. Came you know
what men and women fight about and all. That but
then there is the mechanism behind. There unless you're a,
plumber likelihood you don't get into that area very. Often,
well this girl is not a, plumber but she did
end up in that. Area she takes the top of
(29:23):
the bowl off and places it. Somewhere we don't. Know
that part of the story is. Missing it's not that.
Important she proceeds to take a massive dump in that,
bowl the upper, bowl upper. Deck now you got to
(29:43):
think about, how aside from the fact that you are,
disgusting this is how much you love this guy you
do This aside from, that imagine how she's got to
contort herself to get her booty hanging over the side
to get this thing. Done, yeah, Yeah and so all this,
thought you, know did you plan this ahead of time
(30:04):
or are you middle of ransay and you got a?
Poop you're, like, AH i got a. Poop this is an.
Opportunity she drops the deuce in, there she puts the
bowl back on, top so you won't. Know, now the
way this works IS i didn't realize think about. It
that's the water coming down in. There so when you
pee and you go to flush the, toilet there's old
Girl maria's who coming in. There so until that's. Gone,
(30:30):
well at the end of this, story there's a group of.
Us he's telling a story, too and he, said she's.
Toxic you think you think your whole water supply is now.
Contaminated she's very. Toxic well you would, think oh, Boy,
no he never saw her. Again he had her. Arrested
(30:53):
they had sex that night after he bailed her.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Out
Popular Podcasts
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!
Fudd Around And Find Out
UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!