April 8, 2025 • 34 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's that time, time, time, time, luck and load. So
Michael Verie Show is on the air.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
On the issue of bike lanes yesterday, Brandon wrote, I
used to live off Right off McGowan Hutchins from twenty
sixteen to twenty twenty one. When those ridiculous bike lanes
started getting put in, I saw vitriol in equal part
from cyclists who were apoplectic that a construction project actually
takes time, and from drivers who beat the ever loving
(00:53):
snot out of their suspensions by inadvertently running over those
stupid doodlebug looking black bumper stuck in what used to
be the driving lane.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Why would those need to be there, you asked, Did.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
The thousands of plastic upright reflector sticks not give enough
of a hint? Because we all saw what we did
to the ones installed on fifty nine at the Louisiana
Street Spur And if your own headlights reflected back in
your face weren't enough. The bicyclists have their own sociopathic
competition going on to see whose lights would set the
epilepsy triggering high score to the already white knuckle drivers.
(01:27):
Can we see you, oh, no, bikelist, we feel you
needling our very souls with Guantanamo level torture. Getting by
you is a riptide of dooly wheels and box trucks
coming at me from one direction, while your pink Floyd
laser spectacular come Malcolm McDonald torture scene in a clockwork
orange parallels me from the ironically colored lane of green
(01:48):
as you pedal your way along, chasing butterflies boulevard and
glare at me in anger. I hope their dreams are
filled with corroded, tetanus infested frames of Penny Farthings chasing
them down Lombard Street, of moldy oatmeal Brandon. You know
the thing about it is, and this is why people
(02:10):
are moving out to the country.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
The thing about it.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Is everyone is confrontation of ears, and everyone thinks the
customer is always right, and nobody wants to confront the
person who's complaining. Chris writes, I work in one of
the largest office towers in downtown, more than seventy stories tall.
(02:34):
The building has dedicated bike racks for employees who choose
to cycle into the office. I've never seen a bike
in one of those racks. Do you ever think about
how many stupid things we do in this society that
are never used, that are just pure waste. Had to
install a handicapped ramp and an office that i'd moved
(02:56):
into in Rice Village on at twenty four to forty
four times. It was Ken Schnitzer's first building he ever built,
and it was on the corner there, and it was
all I could do to afford this office. But I
had to give the appearance that I was a booming
firm and now I had employees. I wasn't just myself anymore.
And so I got this office that was on a
corner that had been a retail space, and I got
(03:18):
my name on the on the banner, the awning banner,
and it said Michael Berry Properties, because well I liked
my name, and they the city came and said that
for me to move in there, I had to for
me to put a front door on it, because you
entered into the building and then you walked kind of
(03:39):
to the back of the office and came back up
to the front, which meant that if you which meant
that if you were at the front fronting on Times,
which is a busy street right there, a lot of
retail walk traffic there, if you were there, you were
in the back of the office because you entered the
building next door and walked around and curled back. It
was the stupidest thing ever. And I said, no, I'm
going to put a front door on the front so
(03:59):
people walk up, traffic can come there.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Anywhere you go, Palm.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Beach, Miami, Aspen, San Francisco, any kind of any foot
traffic area like this. It has nice little high end
coffee shops and all that. You walk up and you
can see in the window real estate listenings, and then
you want to go in and talk to somebody and whila.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
So that's what I wanted.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
So I they said we got to get the It
was less Apels from Apel, call yours Walmart maybe that's
something like that, Callers less Apel's company whatever. He was
out in Bastrump. He owned to half Houston at the time.
And so you got to get a permit for that door.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
We gonna have to put it. I'm just gonna cut
a door. I have to put a permit. It's the law.
I'm a lawyer. It's a dumb law. We're not following it.
They're not going to know. Most permitting laws are stupid.
They're just dumb.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
They're just a cost, an expense and a hassle and
slow down and there's so many things that could be
done better, but we have stupid laws. This is where
the legislature goes wrong. We don't need more laws. You've
got people on city council that are on public housing.
When I got elected with someone on public housing, other
you've got people that are on public house. They can't
even support themselves, and they're making laws for who's how
(05:15):
we're going to do building codes? Are you joking? This
is ridiculous. Stupid people are stupid. I'm not saying go
thump them on the ear, kick them in the ass
and call them retard, but I am saying, don't let
them make the rules and don't act like they're smart.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Just because there's a bunch of.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Other people just like them who'll vote for them, and
because they have nothing else to do, they run for office.
This is dumb because nobody wants to call a spade
to space. Nobody wants to be honest and say, no,
that's dumb. We're not going to do that, right, We're
not going to do that because it's dumb. So they
made me put a a rent or wheelchair rent into
(05:52):
my building, into my space, but there wasn't space for it.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
It wasn't room for it. And the rise on the
ramp had to be an angle.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
You know.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You couldn't exactly make somebody pop a WHEELI to get
in there, so it had to be this long drawn
out thing cost me seven thousand dollars, seven thousand dollars
a lot of money in twenty twenty five. In nineteen
ninety seven, seven thousand dollars was seven billion, trillion, gazillion dollars.
It was so much money. It was so insanely much
(06:28):
money that I didn't have. And I'm a startup business.
You got to understand. I didn't have money for a
phone system. I found a service that would forward the
phones to my phone number. Our number was seven one
three five two two five two two five. I thought
it was very clever. It was hard for people to remember,
but learning lessons, a lot of learning lessons at this age.
(06:51):
And so there we are. We can't afford a phone system.
We can't afford There were no websites back then. The
real estate listing would come out in a book. Once
a week. You'd get the book with the new listings
and they were printed on a cheap paper, black and white,
so if you looked at the picture, you couldn't really tell.
You had to go drive and look at them. Things
changed dramatically around two thousand. The Internet, the really widespread
(07:16):
use of the Internet and websites and information that was
available on a computer that you could look at, not
on your phone yet, but a laptop, I mean, a desktop.
That really changed. I mean, I remember how transformative that
was in so many ways. And in the real estate business,
part of my business was a brokerage. In addition to
buying properties, we were representing people buying and selling homes.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
And yeah, it was a tough business.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
I mean, it was an interesting time because technology was
really taking hold and you had these big firms Martha
Turner Properties, John Doherty Properties, Greenwood King and they were
bigger firms, and they were kind of more they were boutique.
They weren't boutique. They were boutique compared to Remax, let's say,
(08:04):
or Compass or whatever. But they had a lot more
money and they were very image conscious, and so they
came out with these splashy websites and I don't have
a website and now I got to spend seven thousand
dollars on a I had one person handicapped from my
office one time. It was my friend Jim, and we
picked him up on a chair and we walked him
in and there was your seven thousand dollars and there's
your there's there's the government out to protect Michael very show.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
I thought, I'll see the way side.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
To your hand made.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
I'm blessed them so that I was besting, no bank disease.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Your dagged just one boody bad.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
And I's an that's what it's called. That's the band name.
That's her. Her name is tones that I that's not
a name. Those are three different words. Tones And anybody
(09:13):
do that thing you do?
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Boy?
Speaker 1 (09:15):
And she's cute.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
And when make I think she'd be annoying just based
on her voice. I think she'd get on your nurse
real fast. Guarantee you she can't cook. Guarantee you.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
She's not.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
You know what if you forgot your pregnazonne at home
and you got your allergy, U expedited treatment today and
you really need to take your pregna zone, She's not
gonna rush up and bring you your pregnan zone. And
when you're not able to come down because you in
the middle of a segment, wait down there until Ramon
goes and gets it.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
She not that kind of girl. What amazes me is
how guys don't understand that you. I want that in
a woman. I can't. It's crazy how many guys will
say to me, man, I want somebody like Nondet one
oh nine. Man, she takes care of you.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
She she takes great pains to make sure that your
life is good, and you love her for it, and
I go, Well, your five ex wives didn't because you
never made clear it was important that they love you
as much as you lust for them. You just told
(10:30):
them they had to be a princess, like a stripper
and the money would keep flowing.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Well, all she wanted to do was spend money.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Oh you mean, because when you wooed her, you kept
blowing massive amounts of money and had this smug smile like,
look at me, I've got a lot of money I'm
providing for you. You probably want to lock down with me,
And when she did, you wanted to cut the money off.
I'm out to charge extra fra aul its marital counseling.
I'm doing because it keeps happening a lot. It is
(10:59):
happening a lot. Wain Wright's are While this is an
important issue with Charles, and I'm glad you're addressing the
custodial issues and the child support. To be honest, what
we really need to know is how to make the
waffle House hash browns at home.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Wayne's got priorities.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
So yesterday we told you the story about the thuggish,
thuggish people. It's white liberals are the worst they really are.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
And the problem is.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
The problem is they have insinuated themselves into positions of
authority in you know, CEOs of companies and publishers of papers.
Some of them have weaseled their way into church positions,
and people don't want to recognize them for the demons
and devils that they are because they're married to your sister,
(11:52):
they live in your neighborhood. You know, they go to
church where you go to church. Maybe y'all grew up
to I can't tell you how many people will say, Man,
I got this one friend. God, you set him off.
Michael Man. Sometime when you and I are together, we
have got to find a way for him to be
around because you set him off. So bad. You make
(12:13):
him so crazy. He hates you so much. He talks
about you constantly. Okay, all right, Well, do you think
that what he's saying is true?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
No, he's like, he's a racist. He's a racist.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Now I tell him he has black kids, and he's like, no,
that's because he's a racist.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
He's covering for it. He's a Nazi. He's horrible. He
hates people. He's terrible. Okay, Well, is he wrong? Well,
I mean it seems to me he is.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Well, then why do you sit there while he says
things that are not true and continue to associate with him. Well,
we were in the fraternity together. Oh okay, Well, let's
do a little intellectual exercise. Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna
engage in reduction at absurd him because it's important to
(13:05):
expedite getting to the conclusions we need. Okay, all right,
all right, you're in Okay, all right, So y'all went,
y'all were in a fraternity together, and yeah, and so
you've kept up on that, but yeah, yeah, and his
brother my brother are friend. So you just we just
kind of keep up and y'all still talk once a week. Yeah,
and he drives you absolutely crazy. Yeah, yeah, and he
says these horrible things about you know, and he judges me,
(13:27):
you know, he says it, you know, we shouldn't do this,
and we shouldn't do this, and he criticizes you know,
my wife goes to a Catholic Mass every morning, and
she says, he says it, that's superstitious, and it kind
of hurts my feels he says it. Okay, all right,
So if this guy comes over to your house and
molests your son and you walk in and see it,
would you go that guy liibally tell you what sometime
(13:49):
he doesn't, No, I'd kill him.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Okay, So you killed him for that?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
All right?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
What about now if he molests your daughter? I would
kill him too. As my kids calm down, okay, we're
all right. So we can establish a point which you
would no longer tolerate this guy in your life because
his behaviors are destructive.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
All right, here is the extreme? All right?
Speaker 2 (14:07):
So what if you come home and he's beating up
your wife? Where do these questions come from? I'm trying
to establish a line on the continuum. Well, I'd beat
him up. Would you beat him up? Or would you
pull him off over what.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, no, I'd beat him up.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Okay, all right, So what if you come home and
he's poisoning your dog and it's in a bag that
says poisoned.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
So when.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
We first I get to poison at him, okay, because
you're somewhere on the continuum between him molesting your children
and just insulting everything you stand for. But you're at
that point on the continuum where you don't kill him
or disassociate. So what I'm trying to find out is
how far on the continuum can he go?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
And he'd probably like to know.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
He is like a dog or a child, probably constantly
testing how much he can get away with. And deep down,
he doesn't respect you. That's the important thing to understand
about the white liberal. He doesn't respect you. You think
he does because you think you're a better person that
you got a liberal for a friend.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
People love to to him. But I got this one brand.
He's a liberal. Why you won't believe it. We'll go
to as a group of us. We go to the
game as five of us. We always go to the
game together.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
And we're all we've been friends for a long time,
and we'll go to the game, and he gets so
mad and he'll start cussing to us, y'all are just Trump,
and y'all are maga, and y'all are retired and you're.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Stupid, and he gets so upset. Sometimes we have to
be like, hey, guys, hey guys, let's tone this down.
Let's tone this down, let's you know, let's stay friends.
What makes you think your friends?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Which aspect of your relationship would fit into the traditional
definition of a friend.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Do you love this guy? Does he love you?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Would he sacrifice things for you if you died? Would
he protect your wife and kids? Would he defend your honor?
Speaker 3 (15:59):
No?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
He insults you to your face. He doesn't like you.
But here's the part you have to understand in this.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
In these parts, liberals are few and far between, and
they don't actually like to be around each other. What
you have to understand is white liberals don't, especially white
liberal men, they don't like to hang around other white
liberal men because they're whiny and bitchy and awful. They
like to be around you, and frankly, they wish they
(16:28):
could change who they are, but they can't. They like
to be around you because you're pleasant to be around.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
But they're not, so why do you hang around them?
Lame opening?
Speaker 2 (16:54):
It just is there's it's it's lame. It feels like
there's no thing there. A Johnny Cash song opening. You
know you got Luther, you got the same beat every song.
You know, I got some Johnny Cash coming up right here? Yeah,
George Jones, cold open, boom, straight.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
To the voice. Whoa spoken word?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Godlee, that's a song right there, that thing you just
played right there, That's that's how everybody.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
All the boys end up as girls.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Dancing around like girls wearing sketchers or whatever they're wearing.
And of course they're gonna end up as girls. They
can't change the tire on their bicycle much. What do
you expect they're gonna end up?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
They shut their hashts, they all they all.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
End up looking like some some broken snad O'Connor kind
of deal.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I was watching of Phil Hartman's greatest Phil Hartman was
Phil Hartman was so incredibly artist, you know, drawing artist saying,
acting his Bill Clinton goes into the burger joint bit
do you remember that? And eats people's food while he's there.
That skit is so good, it's better than more cow Bell,
(18:18):
and that's hard for me to account for. It is
so incredibly good, Jason. You are on the Michael Berry Show.
It's an honor to have you, sir, make the most
of it. You have forty seconds go, Jason. He hit
the mute button every time, every time. Can you see
(18:42):
what's going on with Jason?
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Can you hear him?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
It said on an old greasy spoon, And that got
me interested. So I'll just go to Betty Vaughn. Betty
writes a place like Dutch Kettle. She says, Santa Fe
Cafe threeho two West First, Brenham, Texas. There's no smoking now,
but the waitresses are still like the d oh Dutch Kettle.
(19:07):
Next to Santa Fe Railroad hours five thirty am to
two pm, mostly locals. Soon as you walk in, you
feel like you've stepped back to nineteen fifty. Daily lunch
special is on an old chalkboard. It's worth a trip, Betty.
I like to imagine Betty.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Going in Hello cafe, all right, hods work. I like
to imagine her going in there. What do you think?
Betty orders her on? What would you guess?
Speaker 3 (19:34):
You orders?
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Santa Fe Cafe three to two West First Brenham. No smoking,
but the waitresses are like the Dutch kettle next to
Santa Fe Railroad hours five thirty.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
To two, mostly locals.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
As soon as you walk in, you feel like you've
stepped back to nineteen fifty daily lunch special on an
old chalkboard, worth a trip, Betty, Liver and onions.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
You think she gets for breakfast?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Oh? Yeah, Santa Fe cafe place like Dutch kettle. Oh
you think she gets living on onions. I always wonder
who gets the liver and onions. I bet you better
gets the living onions. That's a good point. You think
she gets a side of something. I think she gets
a side of grape fruit because ther cardiologist told her
it was good for her.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
She doesn't want the grapefruit. She doesn't enjoy the grapefruit.
I don't know why.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I guess I like bitter things instead of sweet things.
I love grapefruit juice.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
You don't, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Let me tell you what's a good time for me.
A good time for me is my nieces and nephews
come over. They bring all their kids. Between the two couples,
I think they have probably sixty seven kids. Now, we
had no kids and they just started having kids. You
boom boom boom, boom boom, And so there's just kids
everywhere in our house. And my wife loves it. My
kids love it. My kids are so good with little kids.
(20:43):
I don't know where they got that from, cause I
never was. I love having them over, but I mean
it's a skill anyway. So they all come over. And
my nephew, Kyle, he's the PhD in geology, who's really
a redneck. I mean he's a redneck's redneck.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
He drives a.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Nineteen ninety one four truck that he thinks is very valuable,
but it's not, and it's beat to hell, and he
works on it constantly, and he takes road trips with
his dad across the country, and he's always tinkering. He's
always working on an engine or something. You never guess
he's a PhD for Occidental. He acts like he was
a AC repairman. He was homeschooled, never went to formal school.
(21:21):
He was homeschool and he was an AC repairman and
decided he'd go to college. Ace is the test, gets
scholarships to go to college, continues as an AC repairman.
He's twenty one years old. He's an ac repairman. Going
to college. Ben gets into a PhD program in South Dakota,
goes on there, becomes a teaching assistant, gets his full
blown PhD, comes to Houston, and now he tells Occidental,
(21:43):
that's where you drill, that's where the oil is.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
He was an ac repairman. You remember John Starks. So
John Starks was bagging.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Groceries at the you know, Huffington Groceries in West Year
or something somewhere I don't know, probably somewhere in Oklahoma,
or maybe that was Scottie Pippen, or maybe that was
Dennis Rodman.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Rodman I think was Arkansas. John Stark's just bagging groceries.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
He looks like any other dude bagging groceries, black guy
with attitude, resting bitch face on a dude kind of
got an attitude all the time for no good reason.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
It's hard work to have that much attitude all the time.
It's just kind of always just bothered and ready to fight,
and somehow, some way bagging groceries.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Not in school. I don't think he graduated from college.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Somehow, someway, the New York Knicks bring him up and
he becomes their point guard. And thank god for him,
because but for John Starks going oh for twenty four
or whatever it was in that game seven against the next,
we don't win that game. But for Charles Smith being
unable to hit a shot at layup distance seven times
(22:45):
in a row. But for Anthony Mason swinging, you know,
throwing fists and getting kicked out of the game. But
for Patrick Ewing always collapsing in big games, we wouldn't
have won two championships.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Oh my god, is that.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Your Patrick Ewing impersonation? Oh, you're pointing out how big
his nostrils are. You can do that on a white guy.
You are not like a law You cannot point out
a black person. Oh.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I have to tell you something.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
I saw somebody I had not seen in fifteen years recently,
and it's a Hispanic guy. So nobody has to feel uncomfortable.
Hispanic guy had not seen him for fifteen years. He
says hello to me, and I have no idea who
it is because he went from about he's a little
bitty fella, like one hundred and thirty pounds to about
(23:33):
six hundred and nine years So he's big and he's
the kind of big where the belly has lapped over
the belt so far down that the belly has extended
beyond the shirt. The shirt couldn't keep up right and
the shirt is just hanging off of the belly. And
I am fascinating. You know, it looks like the translator
(23:53):
that Astros have, the new translator.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yeah, paday. This was being interviewed after the game the
other day.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
They've got a translator and they have brought in They've
brought in a seamstress. They have him a jersey and
Astros jersey he's got. He's got hips out on the
side that come on. This dude is huge and he's fascinating.
I'm glad they did it. But the problem is he
takes up the whole screen, so they have to what
the cameramen are kind of figuring it out. You put
(24:19):
it on Peretis or Jordan because they can't speak a
link of English. And then they got him in it,
but it cuts off about half his head because he's
I mean, when I tell you this guy's big, you're
gonna go okay. You think everybody's when you see this guy,
you're gonna okay. That was not an exaggeration. They had
a custom jersey made for him. Why put a guy
like that in a jersey? Because the material of a
(24:40):
jersey a guy that fat is always pulling it at
their sternum.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
You ever notice that the shirt's always kind of stuck
to their sternum.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
And this poor guy, he's trying to translate and the
they're asking questions that are very nuanced and he really doesn't.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Know the word for that because it's kind of a
slang term.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Anyway, steamsh It's been a race driver, Michael Barry funny,
that's Ramond the King of Dean.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Suggested for general audiences.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
H you don't know, you will never know.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
Where Africa is Kanali a Hari's from. It's called nowhere Africa.
The woman is halfway from in then halfway from Jamaica.
I mean, if you wanna get technical about it, Michael
Bary family is way more potter ethnical than that woman
ever was. She'ld be out of the first black lady president.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Though what to say, I'm.
Speaker 5 (26:13):
Gonna give you credit. When you are ignorant, you are
stubbornly ignorant. The woman is not from Africa. Look how
Barbarack Obama at least had one parent who was from Africa.
Of course his mama was from Kansas or something. But
next of all, I'm gonna need you to show her
some respect. Its pronounced camellia. If you say it in
(26:33):
another way, it's racist against her.
Speaker 6 (26:36):
Plus there's so many conspiracy theories going around. No, Joe
Biden has not been killed, because if he been killed,
then Jimmy Carter been killed, then we're gonna have two
presidential funerals.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
And that's too many times for anybody to hear.
Speaker 6 (26:51):
For all the Saints, all thirty eight verses on. So
they I think they're still breathing. I mean just barely,
but I feel like they're still breathing. Hey, you're dirm Okay,
I'm sorry. Michael Berry is being very serious about this.
Speaker 5 (27:07):
Y'all. Listen to him. What are you talking about.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
I don't know, Kevin, you're on the Michael Berry Show. Ahead.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Well, we used to go to Gary's coffee shop, Darren
Orange when we were you know, twelve, thirteen, fourteen years old.
He camped out in the woods in the night, two
o'clock in the morning. We got a grey coffee shop
for that. Like a dope.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
I used to do that to the Loves. There was
the Loves on sixty two. It's the first convenience. It
was the first get big gas station there. And now
that whole area has a waffle house and a water Burger.
Speaker 5 (27:42):
And a.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Taco bell all that.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
But it was twenty four hours and I would ride
my bicycle up there, and my bicycle was a little
dirt bike, so it wasn't like you kid, And I
look back now, and I was a little bitty.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
I mean, I was tiny.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
I was five to three for most of high school,
and I just think, I mean, I was probably fifteen
sixteen when I was riding my bike up there, but
I would have looked twelve. And here it was one
o'clock in the morning, and I'm on my bike, riding
on the shoulder of the feeder road to go up.
(28:21):
Then I'm turning onto the side of sixty two and
I'm rolling into Loves looking twelve, probably sixteen, on my
bicycle with a couple of dollars of coins in my
pocket to go in and buy a hot chocolate and
sit at the booth and think I was an adult.
(28:41):
I mean, at the time, I thought I was pulling
it off. But looking back now, you know, they were
all going, all right, do you want to call the
cops or do you want me? There's no way that
kid's supposed to be up here. And I just thought
it was so cool to sneak out of the house
in the middle of the night. And you don't know
when you live in a little town, you don't know
because you don't really have peer pressure and all that.
(29:02):
And we lived out in the country. We didn't live
near anybody else that I went to school with, and
I didn't drink and I didn't go to parties. We
were Southern Baptists, so that that whole aspect of high
school I never experienced.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
And so.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
The funny thing is I get to college and people
are telling me stuff they did in high school, and
I'm going, well, you did what y'all did?
Speaker 3 (29:26):
What is X?
Speaker 1 (29:27):
But y'all did what y'all.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I'll never forget Richmond's Strip at six', ten got to
Uh By Buddy chad.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
AND i drive.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
Over we're going to go go, clubs and they have
clubs that are under twenty. One they'd stamp here you,
do and you go in and you couldn't. Drink but
the minute you went. In it was it was fluorescent
lights and all the whites would look and it was
an epilepsy. TRIGGER i, mean it set off a seizure
if you were. Epileptic AND i remember the Song, Vogue
Madonna's vogue was on and they would they would do
(29:59):
that and there would be people out on the floor
dancing To, vogue this stupid dance in this stupid, way
and they were in a trance and they were on
this drug.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
And they were.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Tripping AND i didn't know what any of this. Was
and SO i came back to campus AND i told
another kid in my class Named.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
DAVE i, Said, dave it was. Crazy the clubs here are.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Crazy i've never been to a, club SO i don't
know how it compares anything. Else and he, said, well what?
HAPPENED i, said, well that Song vogue By madonna came
on and people were dancing like walk like An, egyptian
but real slow by, themselves not with other.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
People he, said, oh they were.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Tripping AND i said what does that? Mean and he, said,
well they're ON.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
X i said what IS?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
X and he, said, oh it's a little sticker that you,
know you can buy it for from three to seven
bucks or something like. THAT i don't really, remember but
and then you lick it and it's like A i'm
probably getting this, wrong But i'm just telling you WHAT
i heard at the, Time SO i don't claim to
be an. Expert for those of you who are going
to say you're in, IDIOT i am on this. SUBJECT
i don't know any think about. It but it was
apparently somewhere in THE lsd category of you, know some mind?
(31:06):
Warp did you ever DO? X, okay so they would
come up to.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
YOU i mean it.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
Was it was under twenty. One there was no alcohol in,
there AND i didn't drink, anyway SO i didn't. Care
but the minute people would walk, in it was like
vultures did come. Over he, hey he want SOME.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
X wants SOME, x want SOME?
Speaker 3 (31:22):
X there was some.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Sex what don't what are? You what are you?
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Offering what IS? X, no it doesn't sound like SOMETHING
i want to. Do and so they, would you, know
they buy the little tab and then they'd hit. It
but then there was a room in the. Back, well
my curiosity got the better of, me SO i go
to the. BACK i want to see what they're doing back.
There But i'm hovering like an undercover. Agent i'm Sure
i'm scaring everybody to death Because i'm so out of
(31:47):
sorts this country bumpkin that's come To houston And i'm
staring wide eyed and people are, like calm, down, dude
And i'm trying to figure out there was another drug
they were doing and it WASN'T. X BUT i cannot
remember what the drug.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Was some of y'all will know, it but it was
in that category of. Drugs it was a big deal
at that.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
TIME i WISH i could, remember BUT i remember the
two songs that they would play every night repeatedly Was
vogue By, madonna and there would be Some George michaels,
on so that was always a weird.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Vibe and then they would play That Hardy Damn son
up a bit AND.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
I thought that was a cool. Song, ever we didn't
hear that In. Orange you didn't hear people cussing like
that in the middle of a song that was. Cool,
Yeah so that's my story About, orange if you really
wanted to know.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
It kevin, WRITES i live In Old washington west Of.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Avinsota on, weekends we have groups of bike riders From
College station and they're matching spandex riding the roads two
wide with a seventy mile speed, limit lots of rolling
hills with cattle trailers going to the. Sailbarn just a
matter of. Time you, know these guys get hit and they,
die And i'm not happy about. That i'm not encouraging.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
It what are you?
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Expecting you, know people need to. Understand cops don't understand.
This tow trucks don't understand.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
This marathon. Quarter the roads are to be driven on,
period end of.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Story stop trying to take the damn road for your protest,
Officer get the cars out of the. Way when your car,
stalls get it off the. Road when You asian, people
when you bump into, people which you all, do And
mexicans you bump into, people get your. Car, Sorry asian,
people when you get bumped, into move your car to
the side of the. Road it's not nineteen seventy eight. Anymore,
NO i gotta leave a car right here for evidence.
(33:31):
Evidence they're not even gonna send a.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Cop oh, no, no you hit.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Me gott to leave it right here to show that
my bumper is. Cracked, look you're not gonna get any
money out of. This the cops aren't. Coming let's move
off to the side of the. Road, okay nobody wants
to get out of the. Way drove back From. Austin
came Through roundtop this. Weekend roundtop is developing. Subdivision. NOW
i don't want to be the hipster that SAYS i
don't Want roundtop to. CHANGE i understand why people are moving.
(33:57):
Out there's too much gunfire In.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Houston it's too.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Violent they're not, willing cops aren't able to do. Anything
survey the other day's seventy seven percent Of houston is
don't want them to go out at. Night if we
don't get this thing under, Control houston's going to end
up the only people left In houston are going to
be the people engaged in the. Gunplay and everybody's going
to move out To Chapel hill And roundtop And waller
And crosby And Republic Grand.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Ranch that's what's. Happening
It's that time, time, time, time, luck and load. So
Michael Verie Show is on the air.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
On the issue of bike lanes yesterday, Brandon wrote, I
used to live off Right off McGowan Hutchins from twenty
sixteen to twenty twenty one. When those ridiculous bike lanes
started getting put in, I saw vitriol in equal part
from cyclists who were apoplectic that a construction project actually
takes time, and from drivers who beat the ever loving
(00:53):
snot out of their suspensions by inadvertently running over those
stupid doodlebug looking black bumper stuck in what used to
be the driving lane.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Why would those need to be there, you asked, Did.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
The thousands of plastic upright reflector sticks not give enough
of a hint? Because we all saw what we did
to the ones installed on fifty nine at the Louisiana
Street Spur And if your own headlights reflected back in
your face weren't enough. The bicyclists have their own sociopathic
competition going on to see whose lights would set the
epilepsy triggering high score to the already white knuckle drivers.
(01:27):
Can we see you, oh, no, bikelist, we feel you
needling our very souls with Guantanamo level torture. Getting by
you is a riptide of dooly wheels and box trucks
coming at me from one direction, while your pink Floyd
laser spectacular come Malcolm McDonald torture scene in a clockwork
orange parallels me from the ironically colored lane of green
(01:48):
as you pedal your way along, chasing butterflies boulevard and
glare at me in anger. I hope their dreams are
filled with corroded, tetanus infested frames of Penny Farthings chasing
them down Lombard Street, of moldy oatmeal Brandon. You know
the thing about it is, and this is why people
(02:10):
are moving out to the country.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
The thing about it.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Is everyone is confrontation of ears, and everyone thinks the
customer is always right, and nobody wants to confront the
person who's complaining. Chris writes, I work in one of
the largest office towers in downtown, more than seventy stories tall.
(02:34):
The building has dedicated bike racks for employees who choose
to cycle into the office. I've never seen a bike
in one of those racks. Do you ever think about
how many stupid things we do in this society that
are never used, that are just pure waste. Had to
install a handicapped ramp and an office that i'd moved
(02:56):
into in Rice Village on at twenty four to forty
four times. It was Ken Schnitzer's first building he ever built,
and it was on the corner there, and it was
all I could do to afford this office. But I
had to give the appearance that I was a booming
firm and now I had employees. I wasn't just myself anymore.
And so I got this office that was on a
corner that had been a retail space, and I got
(03:18):
my name on the on the banner, the awning banner,
and it said Michael Berry Properties, because well I liked
my name, and they the city came and said that
for me to move in there, I had to for
me to put a front door on it, because you
entered into the building and then you walked kind of
(03:39):
to the back of the office and came back up
to the front, which meant that if you which meant
that if you were at the front fronting on Times,
which is a busy street right there, a lot of
retail walk traffic there, if you were there, you were
in the back of the office because you entered the
building next door and walked around and curled back. It
was the stupidest thing ever. And I said, no, I'm
going to put a front door on the front so
(03:59):
people walk up, traffic can come there.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Anywhere you go, Palm.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Beach, Miami, Aspen, San Francisco, any kind of any foot
traffic area like this. It has nice little high end
coffee shops and all that. You walk up and you
can see in the window real estate listenings, and then
you want to go in and talk to somebody and whila.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
So that's what I wanted.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
So I they said we got to get the It
was less Apels from Apel, call yours Walmart maybe that's
something like that, Callers less Apel's company whatever. He was
out in Bastrump. He owned to half Houston at the time.
And so you got to get a permit for that door.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
We gonna have to put it. I'm just gonna cut
a door. I have to put a permit. It's the law.
I'm a lawyer. It's a dumb law. We're not following it.
They're not going to know. Most permitting laws are stupid.
They're just dumb.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
They're just a cost, an expense and a hassle and
slow down and there's so many things that could be
done better, but we have stupid laws. This is where
the legislature goes wrong. We don't need more laws. You've
got people on city council that are on public housing.
When I got elected with someone on public housing, other
you've got people that are on public house. They can't
even support themselves, and they're making laws for who's how
(05:15):
we're going to do building codes? Are you joking? This
is ridiculous. Stupid people are stupid. I'm not saying go
thump them on the ear, kick them in the ass
and call them retard, but I am saying, don't let
them make the rules and don't act like they're smart.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Just because there's a bunch of.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Other people just like them who'll vote for them, and
because they have nothing else to do, they run for office.
This is dumb because nobody wants to call a spade
to space. Nobody wants to be honest and say, no,
that's dumb. We're not going to do that, right, We're
not going to do that because it's dumb. So they
made me put a a rent or wheelchair rent into
(05:52):
my building, into my space, but there wasn't space for it.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
It wasn't room for it. And the rise on the
ramp had to be an angle.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
You know.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You couldn't exactly make somebody pop a WHEELI to get
in there, so it had to be this long drawn
out thing cost me seven thousand dollars, seven thousand dollars
a lot of money in twenty twenty five. In nineteen
ninety seven, seven thousand dollars was seven billion, trillion, gazillion dollars.
It was so much money. It was so insanely much
(06:28):
money that I didn't have. And I'm a startup business.
You got to understand. I didn't have money for a
phone system. I found a service that would forward the
phones to my phone number. Our number was seven one
three five two two five two two five. I thought
it was very clever. It was hard for people to remember,
but learning lessons, a lot of learning lessons at this age.
(06:51):
And so there we are. We can't afford a phone system.
We can't afford There were no websites back then. The
real estate listing would come out in a book. Once
a week. You'd get the book with the new listings
and they were printed on a cheap paper, black and white,
so if you looked at the picture, you couldn't really tell.
You had to go drive and look at them. Things
changed dramatically around two thousand. The Internet, the really widespread
(07:16):
use of the Internet and websites and information that was
available on a computer that you could look at, not
on your phone yet, but a laptop, I mean, a desktop.
That really changed. I mean, I remember how transformative that
was in so many ways. And in the real estate business,
part of my business was a brokerage. In addition to
buying properties, we were representing people buying and selling homes.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
And yeah, it was a tough business.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
I mean, it was an interesting time because technology was
really taking hold and you had these big firms Martha
Turner Properties, John Doherty Properties, Greenwood King and they were
bigger firms, and they were kind of more they were boutique.
They weren't boutique. They were boutique compared to Remax, let's say,
(08:04):
or Compass or whatever. But they had a lot more
money and they were very image conscious, and so they
came out with these splashy websites and I don't have
a website and now I got to spend seven thousand
dollars on a I had one person handicapped from my
office one time. It was my friend Jim, and we
picked him up on a chair and we walked him
in and there was your seven thousand dollars and there's
your there's there's the government out to protect Michael very show.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
I thought, I'll see the way side.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
To your hand made.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
I'm blessed them so that I was besting, no bank disease.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Your dagged just one boody bad.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
And I's an that's what it's called. That's the band name.
That's her. Her name is tones that I that's not
a name. Those are three different words. Tones And anybody
(09:13):
do that thing you do?
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Boy?
Speaker 1 (09:15):
And she's cute.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
And when make I think she'd be annoying just based
on her voice. I think she'd get on your nurse
real fast. Guarantee you she can't cook. Guarantee you.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
She's not.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
You know what if you forgot your pregnazonne at home
and you got your allergy, U expedited treatment today and
you really need to take your pregna zone, She's not
gonna rush up and bring you your pregnan zone. And
when you're not able to come down because you in
the middle of a segment, wait down there until Ramon
goes and gets it.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
She not that kind of girl. What amazes me is
how guys don't understand that you. I want that in
a woman. I can't. It's crazy how many guys will
say to me, man, I want somebody like Nondet one
oh nine. Man, she takes care of you.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
She she takes great pains to make sure that your
life is good, and you love her for it, and
I go, Well, your five ex wives didn't because you
never made clear it was important that they love you
as much as you lust for them. You just told
(10:30):
them they had to be a princess, like a stripper
and the money would keep flowing.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Well, all she wanted to do was spend money.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Oh you mean, because when you wooed her, you kept
blowing massive amounts of money and had this smug smile like,
look at me, I've got a lot of money I'm
providing for you. You probably want to lock down with me,
And when she did, you wanted to cut the money off.
I'm out to charge extra fra aul its marital counseling.
I'm doing because it keeps happening a lot. It is
(10:59):
happening a lot. Wain Wright's are While this is an
important issue with Charles, and I'm glad you're addressing the
custodial issues and the child support. To be honest, what
we really need to know is how to make the
waffle House hash browns at home.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Wayne's got priorities.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
So yesterday we told you the story about the thuggish,
thuggish people. It's white liberals are the worst they really are.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
And the problem is.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
The problem is they have insinuated themselves into positions of
authority in you know, CEOs of companies and publishers of papers.
Some of them have weaseled their way into church positions,
and people don't want to recognize them for the demons
and devils that they are because they're married to your sister,
(11:52):
they live in your neighborhood. You know, they go to
church where you go to church. Maybe y'all grew up
to I can't tell you how many people will say, Man,
I got this one friend. God, you set him off.
Michael Man. Sometime when you and I are together, we
have got to find a way for him to be
around because you set him off. So bad. You make
(12:13):
him so crazy. He hates you so much. He talks
about you constantly. Okay, all right, Well, do you think
that what he's saying is true?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
No, he's like, he's a racist. He's a racist.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Now I tell him he has black kids, and he's like, no,
that's because he's a racist.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
He's covering for it. He's a Nazi. He's horrible. He
hates people. He's terrible. Okay, Well, is he wrong? Well,
I mean it seems to me he is.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Well, then why do you sit there while he says
things that are not true and continue to associate with him. Well,
we were in the fraternity together. Oh okay, Well, let's
do a little intellectual exercise. Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna
engage in reduction at absurd him because it's important to
(13:05):
expedite getting to the conclusions we need. Okay, all right,
all right, you're in Okay, all right, So y'all went,
y'all were in a fraternity together, and yeah, and so
you've kept up on that, but yeah, yeah, and his
brother my brother are friend. So you just we just
kind of keep up and y'all still talk once a week. Yeah,
and he drives you absolutely crazy. Yeah, yeah, and he
says these horrible things about you know, and he judges me,
(13:27):
you know, he says it, you know, we shouldn't do this,
and we shouldn't do this, and he criticizes you know,
my wife goes to a Catholic Mass every morning, and
she says, he says it, that's superstitious, and it kind
of hurts my feels he says it. Okay, all right,
So if this guy comes over to your house and
molests your son and you walk in and see it,
would you go that guy liibally tell you what sometime
(13:49):
he doesn't, No, I'd kill him.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Okay, So you killed him for that?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
All right?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
What about now if he molests your daughter? I would
kill him too. As my kids calm down, okay, we're
all right. So we can establish a point which you
would no longer tolerate this guy in your life because
his behaviors are destructive.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
All right, here is the extreme? All right?
Speaker 2 (14:07):
So what if you come home and he's beating up
your wife? Where do these questions come from? I'm trying
to establish a line on the continuum. Well, I'd beat
him up. Would you beat him up? Or would you
pull him off over what.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, no, I'd beat him up.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Okay, all right, So what if you come home and
he's poisoning your dog and it's in a bag that
says poisoned.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
So when.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
We first I get to poison at him, okay, because
you're somewhere on the continuum between him molesting your children
and just insulting everything you stand for. But you're at
that point on the continuum where you don't kill him
or disassociate. So what I'm trying to find out is
how far on the continuum can he go?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
And he'd probably like to know.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
He is like a dog or a child, probably constantly
testing how much he can get away with. And deep down,
he doesn't respect you. That's the important thing to understand
about the white liberal. He doesn't respect you. You think
he does because you think you're a better person that
you got a liberal for a friend.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
People love to to him. But I got this one brand.
He's a liberal. Why you won't believe it. We'll go
to as a group of us. We go to the
game as five of us. We always go to the
game together.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
And we're all we've been friends for a long time,
and we'll go to the game, and he gets so
mad and he'll start cussing to us, y'all are just Trump,
and y'all are maga, and y'all are retired and you're.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Stupid, and he gets so upset. Sometimes we have to
be like, hey, guys, hey guys, let's tone this down.
Let's tone this down, let's you know, let's stay friends.
What makes you think your friends?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Which aspect of your relationship would fit into the traditional
definition of a friend.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Do you love this guy? Does he love you?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Would he sacrifice things for you if you died? Would
he protect your wife and kids? Would he defend your honor?
Speaker 3 (15:59):
No?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
He insults you to your face. He doesn't like you.
But here's the part you have to understand in this.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
In these parts, liberals are few and far between, and
they don't actually like to be around each other. What
you have to understand is white liberals don't, especially white
liberal men, they don't like to hang around other white
liberal men because they're whiny and bitchy and awful. They
like to be around you, and frankly, they wish they
(16:28):
could change who they are, but they can't. They like
to be around you because you're pleasant to be around.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
But they're not, so why do you hang around them?
Lame opening?
Speaker 2 (16:54):
It just is there's it's it's lame. It feels like
there's no thing there. A Johnny Cash song opening. You
know you got Luther, you got the same beat every song.
You know, I got some Johnny Cash coming up right here? Yeah,
George Jones, cold open, boom, straight.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
To the voice. Whoa spoken word?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Godlee, that's a song right there, that thing you just
played right there, That's that's how everybody.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
All the boys end up as girls.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Dancing around like girls wearing sketchers or whatever they're wearing.
And of course they're gonna end up as girls. They
can't change the tire on their bicycle much. What do
you expect they're gonna end up?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
They shut their hashts, they all they all.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
End up looking like some some broken snad O'Connor kind
of deal.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
I was watching of Phil Hartman's greatest Phil Hartman was
Phil Hartman was so incredibly artist, you know, drawing artist saying,
acting his Bill Clinton goes into the burger joint bit
do you remember that? And eats people's food while he's there.
That skit is so good, it's better than more cow Bell,
(18:18):
and that's hard for me to account for. It is
so incredibly good, Jason. You are on the Michael Berry Show.
It's an honor to have you, sir, make the most
of it. You have forty seconds go, Jason. He hit
the mute button every time, every time. Can you see
(18:42):
what's going on with Jason?
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Can you hear him?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
It said on an old greasy spoon, And that got
me interested. So I'll just go to Betty Vaughn. Betty
writes a place like Dutch Kettle. She says, Santa Fe
Cafe threeho two West First, Brenham, Texas. There's no smoking now,
but the waitresses are still like the d oh Dutch Kettle.
(19:07):
Next to Santa Fe Railroad hours five thirty am to
two pm, mostly locals. Soon as you walk in, you
feel like you've stepped back to nineteen fifty. Daily lunch
special is on an old chalkboard. It's worth a trip, Betty.
I like to imagine Betty.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Going in Hello cafe, all right, hods work. I like
to imagine her going in there. What do you think?
Betty orders her on? What would you guess?
Speaker 3 (19:34):
You orders?
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Santa Fe Cafe three to two West First Brenham. No smoking,
but the waitresses are like the Dutch kettle next to
Santa Fe Railroad hours five thirty.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
To two, mostly locals.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
As soon as you walk in, you feel like you've
stepped back to nineteen fifty daily lunch special on an
old chalkboard, worth a trip, Betty, Liver and onions.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
You think she gets for breakfast?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Oh? Yeah, Santa Fe cafe place like Dutch kettle. Oh
you think she gets living on onions. I always wonder
who gets the liver and onions. I bet you better
gets the living onions. That's a good point. You think
she gets a side of something. I think she gets
a side of grape fruit because ther cardiologist told her
it was good for her.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
She doesn't want the grapefruit. She doesn't enjoy the grapefruit.
I don't know why.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I guess I like bitter things instead of sweet things.
I love grapefruit juice.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
You don't, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Let me tell you what's a good time for me.
A good time for me is my nieces and nephews
come over. They bring all their kids. Between the two couples,
I think they have probably sixty seven kids. Now, we
had no kids and they just started having kids. You
boom boom boom, boom boom, And so there's just kids
everywhere in our house. And my wife loves it. My
kids love it. My kids are so good with little kids.
(20:43):
I don't know where they got that from, cause I
never was. I love having them over, but I mean
it's a skill anyway. So they all come over. And
my nephew, Kyle, he's the PhD in geology, who's really
a redneck. I mean he's a redneck's redneck.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
He drives a.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Nineteen ninety one four truck that he thinks is very valuable,
but it's not, and it's beat to hell, and he
works on it constantly, and he takes road trips with
his dad across the country, and he's always tinkering. He's
always working on an engine or something. You never guess
he's a PhD for Occidental. He acts like he was
a AC repairman. He was homeschooled, never went to formal school.
(21:21):
He was homeschool and he was an AC repairman and
decided he'd go to college. Ace is the test, gets
scholarships to go to college, continues as an AC repairman.
He's twenty one years old. He's an ac repairman. Going
to college. Ben gets into a PhD program in South Dakota,
goes on there, becomes a teaching assistant, gets his full
blown PhD, comes to Houston, and now he tells Occidental,
(21:43):
that's where you drill, that's where the oil is.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
He was an ac repairman. You remember John Starks. So
John Starks was bagging.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Groceries at the you know, Huffington Groceries in West Year
or something somewhere I don't know, probably somewhere in Oklahoma,
or maybe that was Scottie Pippen, or maybe that was
Dennis Rodman.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Rodman I think was Arkansas. John Stark's just bagging groceries.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
He looks like any other dude bagging groceries, black guy
with attitude, resting bitch face on a dude kind of
got an attitude all the time for no good reason.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
It's hard work to have that much attitude all the time.
It's just kind of always just bothered and ready to fight,
and somehow, some way bagging groceries.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Not in school. I don't think he graduated from college.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Somehow, someway, the New York Knicks bring him up and
he becomes their point guard. And thank god for him,
because but for John Starks going oh for twenty four
or whatever it was in that game seven against the next,
we don't win that game. But for Charles Smith being
unable to hit a shot at layup distance seven times
(22:45):
in a row. But for Anthony Mason swinging, you know,
throwing fists and getting kicked out of the game. But
for Patrick Ewing always collapsing in big games, we wouldn't
have won two championships.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Oh my god, is that.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Your Patrick Ewing impersonation? Oh, you're pointing out how big
his nostrils are. You can do that on a white guy.
You are not like a law You cannot point out
a black person. Oh.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I have to tell you something.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
I saw somebody I had not seen in fifteen years recently,
and it's a Hispanic guy. So nobody has to feel uncomfortable.
Hispanic guy had not seen him for fifteen years. He
says hello to me, and I have no idea who
it is because he went from about he's a little
bitty fella, like one hundred and thirty pounds to about
(23:33):
six hundred and nine years So he's big and he's
the kind of big where the belly has lapped over
the belt so far down that the belly has extended
beyond the shirt. The shirt couldn't keep up right and
the shirt is just hanging off of the belly. And
I am fascinating. You know, it looks like the translator
(23:53):
that Astros have, the new translator.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yeah, paday. This was being interviewed after the game the
other day.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
They've got a translator and they have brought in They've
brought in a seamstress. They have him a jersey and
Astros jersey he's got. He's got hips out on the
side that come on. This dude is huge and he's fascinating.
I'm glad they did it. But the problem is he
takes up the whole screen, so they have to what
the cameramen are kind of figuring it out. You put
(24:19):
it on Peretis or Jordan because they can't speak a
link of English. And then they got him in it,
but it cuts off about half his head because he's
I mean, when I tell you this guy's big, you're
gonna go okay. You think everybody's when you see this guy,
you're gonna okay. That was not an exaggeration. They had
a custom jersey made for him. Why put a guy
like that in a jersey? Because the material of a
(24:40):
jersey a guy that fat is always pulling it at
their sternum.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
You ever notice that the shirt's always kind of stuck
to their sternum.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
And this poor guy, he's trying to translate and the
they're asking questions that are very nuanced and he really doesn't.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Know the word for that because it's kind of a
slang term.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Anyway, steamsh It's been a race driver, Michael Barry funny,
that's Ramond the King of Dean.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Suggested for general audiences.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
H you don't know, you will never know.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
Where Africa is Kanali a Hari's from. It's called nowhere Africa.
The woman is halfway from in then halfway from Jamaica.
I mean, if you wanna get technical about it, Michael
Bary family is way more potter ethnical than that woman
ever was. She'ld be out of the first black lady president.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Though what to say, I'm.
Speaker 5 (26:13):
Gonna give you credit. When you are ignorant, you are
stubbornly ignorant. The woman is not from Africa. Look how
Barbarack Obama at least had one parent who was from Africa.
Of course his mama was from Kansas or something. But
next of all, I'm gonna need you to show her
some respect. Its pronounced camellia. If you say it in
(26:33):
another way, it's racist against her.
Speaker 6 (26:36):
Plus there's so many conspiracy theories going around. No, Joe
Biden has not been killed, because if he been killed,
then Jimmy Carter been killed, then we're gonna have two
presidential funerals.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
And that's too many times for anybody to hear.
Speaker 6 (26:51):
For all the Saints, all thirty eight verses on. So
they I think they're still breathing. I mean just barely,
but I feel like they're still breathing. Hey, you're dirm Okay,
I'm sorry. Michael Berry is being very serious about this.
Speaker 5 (27:07):
Y'all. Listen to him. What are you talking about.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
I don't know, Kevin, you're on the Michael Berry Show. Ahead.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Well, we used to go to Gary's coffee shop, Darren
Orange when we were you know, twelve, thirteen, fourteen years old.
He camped out in the woods in the night, two
o'clock in the morning. We got a grey coffee shop
for that. Like a dope.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
I used to do that to the Loves. There was
the Loves on sixty two. It's the first convenience. It
was the first get big gas station there. And now
that whole area has a waffle house and a water Burger.
Speaker 5 (27:42):
And a.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Taco bell all that.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
But it was twenty four hours and I would ride
my bicycle up there, and my bicycle was a little
dirt bike, so it wasn't like you kid, And I
look back now, and I was a little bitty.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
I mean, I was tiny.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
I was five to three for most of high school,
and I just think, I mean, I was probably fifteen
sixteen when I was riding my bike up there, but
I would have looked twelve. And here it was one
o'clock in the morning, and I'm on my bike, riding
on the shoulder of the feeder road to go up.
(28:21):
Then I'm turning onto the side of sixty two and
I'm rolling into Loves looking twelve, probably sixteen, on my
bicycle with a couple of dollars of coins in my
pocket to go in and buy a hot chocolate and
sit at the booth and think I was an adult.
(28:41):
I mean, at the time, I thought I was pulling
it off. But looking back now, you know, they were
all going, all right, do you want to call the
cops or do you want me? There's no way that
kid's supposed to be up here. And I just thought
it was so cool to sneak out of the house
in the middle of the night. And you don't know
when you live in a little town, you don't know
because you don't really have peer pressure and all that.
(29:02):
And we lived out in the country. We didn't live
near anybody else that I went to school with, and
I didn't drink and I didn't go to parties. We
were Southern Baptists, so that that whole aspect of high
school I never experienced.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
And so.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
The funny thing is I get to college and people
are telling me stuff they did in high school, and
I'm going, well, you did what y'all did?
Speaker 3 (29:26):
What is X?
Speaker 1 (29:27):
But y'all did what y'all.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I'll never forget Richmond's Strip at six', ten got to
Uh By Buddy chad.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
AND i drive.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
Over we're going to go go, clubs and they have
clubs that are under twenty. One they'd stamp here you,
do and you go in and you couldn't. Drink but
the minute you went. In it was it was fluorescent
lights and all the whites would look and it was
an epilepsy. TRIGGER i, mean it set off a seizure
if you were. Epileptic AND i remember the Song, Vogue
Madonna's vogue was on and they would they would do
(29:59):
that and there would be people out on the floor
dancing To, vogue this stupid dance in this stupid, way
and they were in a trance and they were on
this drug.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
And they were.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Tripping AND i didn't know what any of this. Was
and SO i came back to campus AND i told
another kid in my class Named.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
DAVE i, Said, dave it was. Crazy the clubs here are.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Crazy i've never been to a, club SO i don't
know how it compares anything. Else and he, said, well what?
HAPPENED i, said, well that Song vogue By madonna came
on and people were dancing like walk like An, egyptian
but real slow by, themselves not with other.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
People he, said, oh they were.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Tripping AND i said what does that? Mean and he, said,
well they're ON.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
X i said what IS?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
X and he, said, oh it's a little sticker that you,
know you can buy it for from three to seven
bucks or something like. THAT i don't really, remember but
and then you lick it and it's like A i'm
probably getting this, wrong But i'm just telling you WHAT
i heard at the, Time SO i don't claim to
be an. Expert for those of you who are going
to say you're in, IDIOT i am on this. SUBJECT
i don't know any think about. It but it was
apparently somewhere in THE lsd category of you, know some mind?
(31:06):
Warp did you ever DO? X, okay so they would
come up to.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
YOU i mean it.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
Was it was under twenty. One there was no alcohol in,
there AND i didn't drink, anyway SO i didn't. Care
but the minute people would walk, in it was like
vultures did come. Over he, hey he want SOME.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
X wants SOME, x want SOME?
Speaker 3 (31:22):
X there was some.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Sex what don't what are? You what are you?
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Offering what IS? X, no it doesn't sound like SOMETHING
i want to. Do and so they, would you, know
they buy the little tab and then they'd hit. It
but then there was a room in the. Back, well
my curiosity got the better of, me SO i go
to the. BACK i want to see what they're doing back.
There But i'm hovering like an undercover. Agent i'm Sure
i'm scaring everybody to death Because i'm so out of
(31:47):
sorts this country bumpkin that's come To houston And i'm
staring wide eyed and people are, like calm, down, dude
And i'm trying to figure out there was another drug
they were doing and it WASN'T. X BUT i cannot
remember what the drug.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Was some of y'all will know, it but it was
in that category of. Drugs it was a big deal
at that.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
TIME i WISH i could, remember BUT i remember the
two songs that they would play every night repeatedly Was
vogue By, madonna and there would be Some George michaels,
on so that was always a weird.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Vibe and then they would play That Hardy Damn son
up a bit AND.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
I thought that was a cool. Song, ever we didn't
hear that In. Orange you didn't hear people cussing like
that in the middle of a song that was. Cool,
Yeah so that's my story About, orange if you really
wanted to know.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
It kevin, WRITES i live In Old washington west Of.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Avinsota on, weekends we have groups of bike riders From
College station and they're matching spandex riding the roads two
wide with a seventy mile speed, limit lots of rolling
hills with cattle trailers going to the. Sailbarn just a
matter of. Time you, know these guys get hit and they,
die And i'm not happy about. That i'm not encouraging.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
It what are you?
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Expecting you, know people need to. Understand cops don't understand.
This tow trucks don't understand.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
This marathon. Quarter the roads are to be driven on,
period end of.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Story stop trying to take the damn road for your protest,
Officer get the cars out of the. Way when your car,
stalls get it off the. Road when You asian, people
when you bump into, people which you all, do And
mexicans you bump into, people get your. Car, Sorry asian,
people when you get bumped, into move your car to
the side of the. Road it's not nineteen seventy eight. Anymore,
NO i gotta leave a car right here for evidence.
(33:31):
Evidence they're not even gonna send a.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Cop oh, no, no you hit.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Me gott to leave it right here to show that
my bumper is. Cracked, look you're not gonna get any
money out of. This the cops aren't. Coming let's move
off to the side of the. Road, okay nobody wants
to get out of the. Way drove back From. Austin
came Through roundtop this. Weekend roundtop is developing. Subdivision. NOW
i don't want to be the hipster that SAYS i
don't Want roundtop to. CHANGE i understand why people are moving.
(33:57):
Out there's too much gunfire In.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Houston it's too.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Violent they're not, willing cops aren't able to do. Anything
survey the other day's seventy seven percent Of houston is
don't want them to go out at. Night if we
don't get this thing under, Control houston's going to end
up the only people left In houston are going to
be the people engaged in the. Gunplay and everybody's going
to move out To Chapel hill And roundtop And waller
And crosby And Republic Grand.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Ranch that's what's. Happening
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