EITM: Blow Your Tops Off World Tour 4/8/24

Hands-up comedy with Bert Kreischer.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
You were at Bird show at JMUlast night. Yeah, we were out
there. What happened? My wifewent so about the fight? Yeah,
yeah, so we were like thefight was floor level. We were like
first level with the actual the succeedingstarts right, No clue how it started.

(00:22):
You just heard a little bit ofcommotion and then like four rows of
chairs just got wiped out. Areyou serious? So it was a big
fight. The guy who's the onedude that left the tops spread down the
walkway and uh, one dude justlike sprinted out and he looked like he

(00:42):
was a pretty stout guy. Somy guest is somebody was drunk and he
just floored the guy like shoved himdown, and then just nobody knew what
was going on. So all thechairs just got wiped out. It took
him about ten minutes to everybody backseated. How long into was it during
Birds? Oh yeah, it waslike fifteen minutes deep. Oh boy,

(01:04):
that'll break up the flow a littlebit, doesn't it. Yay kinda.
But if there's one if there's oneperson who's equipped to be able to rebound
from that, it's Bert. Yeah. I mean he immediately called Tomson Girl
on FaceTime and was like, havemy first fistfight at my share so he

(01:26):
had never seen that before. Iwas just gonna say, I mean,
I guess not. When is thelast time I can never a thank you,
sir? Thank you? Bert wasBurt great, all right, thank
you. The I don't know thatI've ever seen a fight at a comedy
show now, No, no matterthe size of the venue, I don't

(01:46):
know that I've ever seen a fightat a comedy show. You've seen people
approach the stage and like viral clips, and there may be some pushing and
shoving on the stage, but inthe audience, I think the worst I've
ever seen in the audience is somebodytell somebody else shut up because they were
talking. Yeah, they were justbeing loud while the comic, while the

(02:08):
comic was doing it. When Chrisand I went to go see Jim Jeffries
a few months ago, there werepeople who got kicked out, right,
but they didn't get in a fight. No. What they get kicked out
for talk. They were using theirphone and talking and being obnoxious. And
then Jim Jeffries actually moved them upto the very front row and within ten
minutes their phones came out again.Waha, And they got Jeffries moved them

(02:29):
up to the front row. Yes, he was, you see, Jim
Jeffers, get on your phone.He was trying to be nice and trying
to sort of calm things down,and everybody was like booing when they were
moved up to the front. Yeah, would have led that charge within ten
minutes they got kicked out, wereusing their phones and they're like and I

(02:49):
ran into them like afterwards, becausethey had gone to go get a drink
or were fine in their car orwhatever, and they were just drunk idiots.
Oh I thought you said you raninto him. They were like hey,
yeah. Now, by the way, the second they got kicked out,
I would have stood the rest ofthe show on my phone hoping to
get their seats. But you saidJeffreys was trying to calm the situation down.
I would think so. Get itwas because these two girls who had

(03:13):
been on their phones and talking anddisrupting things. Everybody around them was pissed,
like shut up right, you know, And so Jim was like,
all right, come up front,yeah, Jesus, And they do you
at least call them names or anything, call them seas now that's off brand.
Use that word a lot. Amen, Amen, Line one, Hi

(03:34):
Ellie in the morning, Hey Ellie, how you doing. Hey, I'm
doing great, Thank you. Whatcan I do for you? Hey?
I was at SO last night.We were sitting the third road back.
Everything was wal good man, it'sit's Burt, So what else do you
expect? And all of a sudden, you're just a commotion. We stood
up and it was like Moses partin the Red Sea. Of these chairs

(03:59):
just got off, blacked out allover the place. Cops come running down,
got the guy guy like like theprevious Dolers said, you know,
he started going britten up the stairs. After the cops got down there.
It was it was a pandemonium therefor a little bit. But I actually
think he helped you all the showbecause he extended it out lay past what
it should have been and he keptthings going. Now, note to self,

(04:24):
Now I got to start a fightat a Chryser show. Hey,
let me ask you this during thelike when it was going on, like
the last guy said, like hefacetimes Sagura to tell him about it.
When the fight was actually going on, did Bert say anything from the stage,
Yeah, like, Hey, what'sgoing on what's going on. You

(04:45):
know, the lights kind of cameup a little bit. His security detail
obviously, you know, they theywent around and then the police, you
know, the jam police department,they came down and kind of broke things
up, and it was it wasit was funny as soon as it was
all you'll let you know, Igotta get the girl on this. And
sure enough he gets the great getsthe girl. I got my first,
I got a baby, I gota fight, and I got meda knights.

(05:08):
What a kind of night about wantto have? It was one thing
after another. It was a greatshow. And he kind of said,
you know, this kind of takesme off my track, but we're going
to fly with this thing. AndI'm a little horse today because me and
my wife and everybody that I've neverlaughed so hard. That's great. I
mean it's it's Burt Price. Yeah, the man, I love bird.

(05:32):
Yeah no, no, I'm gladto hear that. I'm glad to hear
that. I still can't believe,thank you, sir. I still can't
believe there was a big, massivefight though he said. I think he
used the word pandemonium. I wonderif there are some people who were very
scared. Oh, well, here, I'll ask somebody's in a crowd setting.
Yeah, I mean that's a lotgoes dark places. Hi, Ellie
in the morning, Good morning,Elliott. What's happening to heat Dog?

(05:56):
Hey? Who's this com from theGreen? Hey? Did you go last
night? I sure did? Man, Oh, there we go. Whoa
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoawhoa? Did Bert do a noon show
so you could be home and bebetty by in time? By You're gonna
get a kick out of this.I just got off there elliptical when I
heard that you needed people They wereat the show anyway, How was well?

(06:20):
First of all, the show wasgood. I'm assuming yeah, it
was really good. Bert wasn't quitesure where he was at, obviously his
first time through Harrisonburg, and hedid a bunch of research beforehand, ilish
to learn when he started talking aboutit, And apparently there's a big Mennonite
settlement or a community within Harrisonburg,and he had some minna nite material he

(06:42):
was trying to work out. Iguess excellent. I'm sure that went overwhelmed.
Hey, So let me ask youthis though, Where were you like
where? I don't I don't knowwhere your seats were last night, Tom,
but were you Obviously you could seeor you knew there was a big
fight that broke out. Yeah,so I saw as it started as a
started to descend on the activity,and then I saw the man exiting.

(07:03):
I was sitting upstairs and slightly offto the right, I said, Tyler,
A picture kind of a picture ofthe stage room where I was sitting
before the show started, but itwas kind of off to my left.
And the guy, the big,large gentleman that was the first one to
be told to go up to themezzanine to talk to the officers. He

(07:26):
was going up pretty aggressively, butI guess they ended up letting him go.
I saw him wandering around shortly afterthe discussion with the officers. I
went to concessions lady for the beerline to die down, soide get some
water, and I guess they lethim go because he's walking around no cuffs
on or nothing. Oh wow,oh wow, and the cold. Could

(07:46):
I mean, I don't know ifyou were I would expect no, but
could you tell? Like Tyler wasasking, were people were people scared when
the whole thing started happening? Yeah, because they were listening to Burt do
some crowd work with the lady thatwas there with the brand new baby,
right right as the fight broke out, and it was right it happened like

(08:07):
a few roads behind the couple withthe brain new baby. By the way,
it was number five out of allthe babies they had. It was
the youngest one newborn at the BurtShow last night, actually the fifth one.
Excellent, excellent, but yeah,but but yeah, everybody was at
first get into what how to react, and then they once they realized there
was a fight going on. Yeah, there was a lot of people that

(08:28):
were pretty scared about it, andBert was kind of almost celebrating that.
He was like telling everybody to becool, but at the same time he's
excited to have his first fist fightat his at his shows. Good for
Bert, but all in all,very good show last night. Right,

(08:50):
Yeah, it was totally worth turningthis into a three day weekend and uh
and skipping out on work today.Got out here yesterday in trying to catch
the Jamu babyball game before Burt Show, had a nice dinner or had some
uh some brisket last night, andso I got up and worked that off
on the olliptical here at the hotelbefore I head back to Richmer right,
and let's get let's get ninety nighttonight about six, let's get that extra

(09:13):
hour back again. Yeah yeah,just right after the eclipse. That sounds
about right there. You go,hey, real quick, you went to
the you went to the JMU baseballgame yesterday. Do you remember off the
top of your head who pitched forJMU yesterday? The starting pitcher I missed.
I didn't get here until shortly afterthe game started, So then and

(09:35):
then there was a whole laundry ofpitchers that came in and towards the middle
and late part of the game justso they could uh hold on to their
lead and then eventually obviously win thegame. Do you remember if a kid
by the name of Kyle Langley pitchedyesterday? Oh? Yeah, yeah,
I definitely remember. I saw himpitch. He was great. The Yeah,

(09:58):
so I know that kid, Likethat kid's awesome. He's a freshman.
Wow yeah, and he it's funnyhe just hit his first home run
the other day. But yeah,no, so like whenever Kyle does well,
like everybody's like, oh crap,look Kyle's going off. Kyle's going
off. That's great. Yeah.They called his name a few times in

(10:20):
the batting in order while I waswatching the ball game yesterday. Excellent,
And he might've been one of theones that got some RBS yesterday because I
think the final was eleven to fiveon the game as it ended in the
Duke's favor, right, Yeah,it was. It was a great ball
game. It was real close atfirst and then dame, you just decided
to open it up as we gotinto the late innings of the game,

(10:41):
sixth, seventh, eighth innings.Right, by the way, I messed
up. And I know this.Kyle plays outfield. He plays outfield.
There was a kid who he playedwith who was a pitcher who went on
to college to pitch. But Kyle'san outfielder. That's awesome. Good for
Kyle. Yeah, it was agreat game yesterday. I'm glad I was
able to take that in before Bertmade a whole day out of it out
here. Good for you, andby the way, thank you Tom the

(11:05):
yes, sir. He had hissecond career home run in that game.
Oh Dinny, he went yard yesterday. Good for him, Good for him,
And what somebody called and they droppedoff. Can I can I go
back to Bert for a second.Somebody called and said, what do you
expect? These are Bert fans?Could not disagree more? I thought they
nailed it. The no could notdisagree more as Bert said, that's the

(11:28):
first one one. Yeah, Well, now I want to go to Hoby
who said he almost got in afight himself at a Bert Chrysler show.
A couple behind me was talking throughthe show. I told them I was
coming over the rail if they didn'tstfu, and I hope that guy was

(11:48):
like, grab your hey, grabyour ned tie, Herbert, we're getting
ready to throw hands after the Herbertgets your d ties fight time. After
the threat, they left Herbert takingthat tie off ked with the other people.
They say they got one look atHerbert and they were like that guy,
that man's going to take his lipout. I ain't taking all that

(12:09):
smoke. You're probably just trying toget front row. You gotta try that.
Maybe it's not just going to I'mgonna just live on my phone and
hope that like Seinfeld goes, ohno, come up to the front,
Okay, come up to the front. Wow, what's wrong that impression was bad.