Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Let's be mature, Lacey. Can you be an adult? Please?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Of course?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
You know how sometimes what what do you call it?
When you go to the bathroom, You got to make
a like crap, Like what do you say?
Speaker 3 (00:17):
I have three young kids, so I feel like usually
it's pretty like g rated.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
No, but it's like we're all at the bar, we're
at the bathroom. We're at the bar. Hold on one second,
I gotta take a crap or go to the bathroom. Well,
then I would expect I am being an adult. I
would expect that you're just going to take a piss.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Kristen has a million euphemisms anyway.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Okay, so lazy Lacey. Sometimes there's a and again I'm
approaching this as an adult discussing health.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
We've just kept dropping the sea word moments ago.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Well that that is some that to some people that's
what they do. Some people go make a bowel movement.
Some people take a crap. What do you call that? Phenomenon?
And it is when like you know, when you're done
and no jobs complete until the paperwork is done. But
when you do the paperwork and there's nothing there.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Oh, I don't know, a queen poop.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
I have no idea.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
I've never had a word for that.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Have you ever had that phenomenon?
Speaker 6 (01:27):
I have?
Speaker 5 (01:28):
Yeah, regularly, regularly, but regularly enough to where it was
easy to answer. Question.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Good for you, Good for you? Congratulations Dan? What do
you have You ever had that phenomenon?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Sure everybody has. That's you know what. I take that
back because given the shot that you could.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Hear in your voice what I've heard, I've heard of them.
I've heard of them.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
The unicorn, Yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Unicorn is one of them, thank you, Jane. Unicorn poop? Oh, okay,
unicorn poops? What are they most commonly referred to as?
Speaker 7 (02:03):
Though, isn't it like Halloween like spooky poops? Hasn't Kristen
said that spooky poops?
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I've never heard that.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Doesn't Kristen call something that spook spooky poop?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Spooky poopy? That's when there's nothing on the TP Kristen,
turn you. I can't. I can't understand what you're saying.
I can't understand what you're saying. Come on, what what
do people call it? There's several of them? Hi, Kristen,
good morning. Yes, I'm sorry. Spooky poopy?
Speaker 8 (02:35):
Yeah, it's Halloween.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
You know when you see the ghosts and spooky poopy. No,
I understand that, but that's are you.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Referring to the toilet paper as the ghost? No, it's
just spooky poopy season?
Speaker 7 (02:48):
Oh a season? Yeah, oh so that wasn't So what
am I thinking of? Is it ghost related?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Well, the emoji is like that.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Elliott's to get us to think of. Is it haunted something.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
The oh I got haunted poops? No? No, no, you're
right ghost poops.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Oh there, yeah, that's why I thought of spooky spooky
poopy Friday night at the track.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Well, hold on, hold on, one, said Christin. Will you
do me a favor. There's still a couple that are
out there. Will you see if anybody else number one
has experienced the phenomenon and what they call it? Please please?
Eight six six to Elliott eight six six two three
five five four six eight And remember I'm approaching this
from an adult health standpoint. What do we call them?
(03:41):
And have you experienced the phenomenon anyway? I'm sorry, Tyler. Yes,
back to the track.
Speaker 7 (03:49):
Meet regarding spooky poopies, they had to use a porta
potty now access to the facilities at the high school.
But uh, there were kids trying and convince younger participants
that the bathroom was haunted. And so word comes back
to this group of parents by telling them what they
(04:10):
were making sounds in the bathroom, I'll smell the death.
So where it comes back to the parents that this
is happening. And one of the other dads is like,
we'll make sure they're standing on the toilets. And it's
like I wanted to turn around and say, Jordan, encourage this.
(04:31):
You can't have them to your feet or they know
it's not haunted.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Oh so people were in there making the norm. Oh
I gotcha. Oh well then you know what. Jordan's right?
Where am I going? Christen line too? Thank you? Hi
Ellie in the morning. Yes, hi, who is this?
Speaker 4 (04:54):
This is Chris from the Plains Virginia.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
And yes you were talking about you wipe and there's
nothing on the paper.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
It's called it easy wipe or in some situations it's
a miracle.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Now I will give you easy wipe. Also, is that's
that that that is a common one. That is a
common one, but that gets close to hey, sir, do
you ever have that phenomenon? Uh?
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Every now and then?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Do you really? Oh my god, all right, very good,
Thank you, sir, thank you.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Oh is this something you can look to achieve?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Oh? Yes, oh oh you want those?
Speaker 7 (05:34):
No, no, no, I'm not doubting that people prefer this
to what have you said before, like the tip of
a marker.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
But can you oh my god, it won't stop.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Much like the sperm race. Could you train yourself to
have more of it?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Well, I mean you could. There are certain things you
can do, you want, you want now, I've easy, easy ones,
but a lot of times they're just referred to was
I took a no wiper?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
And not just and you don't want to achieve this
just from a frugal standpoint.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Oh, because it saves on toilet paper.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Well, that definitely saves on toilet paper.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
And I love when people will go like, oh, yeah,
I took a I took a phantom poop. I took
a ghost poop, I took a no wiper. I'm like,
oh my god, amazing.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I'm seeing the word phantom quite a bit.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Phantom. Yes, phantom is one we're missing. We're missing a
big one.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Is it the perfect pinch? That was some Instagram That's a.
Speaker 9 (06:35):
Great one, now, Hoby oh, Toby says it's a false
wipe usually end up having to wipe later.
Speaker 6 (06:44):
He's walking around like dirty drawers.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
And somebody snuck out just a little.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Bit, so maybe he's more in your camp.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
I gotta tell you, I got home on Friday with
such and again I'm being an adult and I am
approaching this from a health standpoint. I got home on
Friday with such a residual itch that when I got home,
I went to town and I was like, did I
forget to do the paperwork when I went? Originally amazing,
(07:22):
and then from the drive home I did walk into
the house like I was going to a movie where
I'm just picking my seat. Where am I goings from?
Speaker 7 (07:28):
You're definitely going to this message from you, who has
told us that he was nicknamed Teddy Ruxpin High his
fraternity because of how harry yes he is. So he
doesn't have a specific word for it, but on the
rare occasion it happens, he just thinks to himself, Wow, awesome, lyne.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Too, Hi Elliott the morning, Yes sir, who's this? And yes, sir,
yes a name please me?
Speaker 2 (08:09):
And the fellow has been calling those magic pups since
middle school.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeah, you know what, and that is a that is
a good one, that is a good one. Does that
ever happen for you? In the rare case it does?
Speaker 3 (08:21):
We all celebrate, you.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Know what, good on you, let's have cake, good on you,
let me cake causes them not to be so clean?
Ummm yeah, I mean that is that is that is true?
That is true. Again, you're pushing for well, poor choice
of terms, You're striving for this.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
You're you're sitting there acting as if you are about
to reveal the greatest scientific breakthrough.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Of all time.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
I have I've never I've never had this. I've never
had this. I just thought like, sometimes you're lucky. And
that's why they liked refer to it as nirvana poops,
because you're achieving what you should, they said, the perfect
(09:10):
and again call it what you want, ghost poop, unicorn poop,
no wiper should almost be how the the and again
I'm an adult and we're being health it should almost be.
It should almost be like a perfect sausage.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
What do you mean by that?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Where there's almost a well, no push, no push.
Speaker 7 (09:40):
So the second you're straining, no no, no, no, no,
you don't you're not having one of these no, no.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Sometimes sometimes you sometimes you will. But they're saying that
it is almost like your body as the as the
what do you want to call that crap goes through
your system, it picks up things along the way. But
because you're you're you're your butt, your butt, excuse me,
your gut is so healthy it almost picks up. They
(10:08):
refer to it as kind of like a shiny sausage casing.
Kristen just mouthed, I get it, almost like a nice
sausage casing that goes around your your fico and where
your fecal.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
It sounds like you.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
And comes out the butt.
Speaker 7 (10:32):
I can't mouth anything because I'm trying to hold in
spin up.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
And that's how you get a no wiper, a ghost poop.
So you've just been healthy that day. The well, so
they'll say, well you would, well hold on. Where am
I going to? Line eight? Okay? I don't know what
line eight's got for me? Hi elliot in the morning, Hey, yes, sir.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Uh okay. Everything he relates to baseball like an uper
decker right now, I call it a walk off or
walk away. You don't have to do anything.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I like that. I like that, Hey, real quick, can
I Can I tangent for one second? You brought up baseball?
Can I tangent for one second? Do you know who
the pitcher Roki Sasaki is, the kid who came over
from Japan.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Yeah, the new guy.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Yeah, a place for the place for the Dodgers. So
when he came over, there were a lot of teams
that were interested in in signing him, right, and a
lot of people were like, oh, well, what do you
call it? Show haze with the Dodgers and they have
money and stuff. So he went out to dinner with
Stan Kasten, who's like this, the president of the Dodgers
used to be here. He went out to dinner and
(11:53):
Stan was telling in an effort to kind of sway,
Roki Sasaki had said, Hey, listen, you know we're also
we're putting we're building out the clubhouse, and we're making
all these improvements. We're spending about three hundred million dollars
in amenities for I mean, Dodger Stadium is an old stadium.
And so he was saying, all of the we're putting
(12:15):
all this work in to make it better for the team. Sasaki,
who now says it was a little bit tongue in
cheek said oh, are you going to put in Japanese
style toilets? And Stan said do what now?
Speaker 2 (12:31):
What are those?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
And so he explained that a lot of the toilets
in Japan, and we've heard this, they're bedets, the seats
are heated, the remote control like all kinds of stuff
that go into those. And Stan said, you know what, Roki,
thank you, We are going to do that. And Roki
(12:53):
was like, you know what, this is a team that
listens to input from the players. That's why I'm going
to sign And he ended up signing with the Dodgers
because they put in they put in Japanese style toilets.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Crazy.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Isn't that awesome? Isn't that great? Oh? Back to back
to fantoms.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Or, as Reese refers to them, glorious.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
All right, would you like to answer another question about your.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Stool, specifically our own?
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Okay? Oh, okay, okay, Diane, I'll start with you this.
This would be before you even wiped sink or float
both in the same load.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
No no, no, Kristen, I know wait in the same
no no no, no, both yeah, one more frequent than
the other.
Speaker 6 (14:01):
I don't know, you know, I don't people. I don't
keep little tick marks.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
No, but you know how some people like when they
fill up with gas, they take that log out of
like the glove compartment and they write everything in. I'd
like you to start doing that, okay, Tyler, yep, float
or sink?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
This is what I believe the no what do you no?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
No, no, no, no, no no no. I'm just move
away from the ghost. Move away, I said, pretend to.
But this is before the paperwork is done.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Sometimes it's like you don't even think you went.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Oh, it's just goes shuttling down the bowl. Yeah, that's
that slick outer casing I was talking about. That thing
comes out like a torpedo. Damn the ships.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
But I but I would say, sink.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Sink okay, more often than not, put a check mark.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
At least turn on her mic Diane, Well, hold on.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
I gotta write down, Diane. Diane is both okay, I both, Kristen, Yes,
before we even get to the paperwork, sink or float.
Normally they sink, okay.
Speaker 8 (15:15):
Sometimes I've had some floaters, and as you probably know,
explosions usually just pack.
Speaker 10 (15:28):
Okay, thank you now, I will Christ's there's extra credit
for extra answers.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Right, I will tell you this on the on the
sometimes occasion where I had just haven't blended two liquids,
I definitely floats.
Speaker 7 (15:56):
I definitely float, which leads me to believe you want
to sink.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Yes, there you go. You want your your your stool
to sink. Why is that.
Speaker 7 (16:10):
Well, because it's not what's happening to you, And that
means you're.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Okay. So if you don't want to tell me why
you sink, tell me why you float.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Does it have something to do with like air content
or something?
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Those are biscuits?
Speaker 2 (16:24):
No, I mean it's content in some way.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, you have too much fat in your stool? Yeah, yeah,
I like to I like to call it marbling.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
God, are we done?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
So you are just.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Ready to meat for me?
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Are you ready for this? Floating typically means you have
a higher fat content in your stool. That's what causes
them to stay on the surface. But when your poop sinks,
that suggests your digestion is functioning well. So that's good.
If you're sinking, you're good now obviously, So again you
(17:09):
want to either sink and if you are sinking and
again ghost pooping like you are healthy upper echelon. The
more fiber you eat, the better your stool consistency will be.
The easier it is to go to the bathroom, the
(17:31):
less toilet paper you'll need. But also because your gut
has kind of given you that shiny sausage casing, so fiber.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Obviously, I feel like fiber is an easy go.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
To healthy just healthier eating in general. Exercise improves your
bowel movements.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Oh that I didn't know. I had, no, I've heard
that before. I don't understand it.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
What do you mean.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
I don't understand how the two or one begets the other.
You know what I mean? Like I mean over.
Speaker 6 (18:04):
Overall, Yeah, it's it's healthier for you to exercise.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Well, I guess, well, I think it's everything. I think
it's everything.
Speaker 10 (18:13):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
They said it does help everything and helps your sleep.
It helps your mental acuity.
Speaker 7 (18:19):
Right, the sleep play effector yes, absolutely, I guess it
does for everything.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Absolutely. Here's where I threw the papers in the air,
and not my ghost papers, but the actual article I
was reading. If you're seeing a lot of residue on
the toilet paper, now.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Risen.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Guilty. I haven't even gotten to the part that threw
me off. If you're seeing a lot of residue on
the toilet paper when wiping, it could mean you have
an underlying health issue. If you have to wipe at
least three times, you may want to investigate. Wow, and
(19:06):
that's why I have opened Elliott's investigation office three times. Yes, Like,
what is that old saying you can't fold a piece
of paper more than seven times? I fold that thing
up like crazy, and I'm still going.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Through it, Kristen like a hyena?
Speaker 1 (19:29):
So are seeing a lot of residue? Do you wipe
at least three times? And I don't mean like one, two, three,
I mean like you wipe, you wipe, you wipe, you fold,
you wipe, your fold, wipe, you fold, discard, no pull, pull, pull,
pull fold, fold, wipe, wipe, fold white, wipe, fold, discard,
(19:56):
pull pull pull fold white.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Still there, God, how much money spent on toilet paper?
It is a from here. And yet you still had
to go in and wipe again on Friday.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Oh and and just you know, some people like if
you talk about ants, they feel itchy. I don't even
have to tell you what I got going on. I
definitely wipe more and and again it's not just three
swipes at it. It is three routines through it easily. Easily.
Speaker 7 (20:28):
Now your first example that you're demonstrated for Diane, it
looked like you were using the same sheet. Yeah, without
even folding.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
No no, no, no, no, no, no, I always fold,
ok always? Yeah, don't you agree?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
He just went wipe wipe and oh.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
No no, I was just saying fold, So wipe, fold wipe. Yeah,
well it's it's inferred.
Speaker 9 (20:50):
But yeah, I got nervous. So no, no, what are
you doing now? Under you're having to be wipe? Do
you put your money shoes on to walk back through
the house. No, Jesus, what am I an animal?
Speaker 7 (21:03):
Well?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
I need to investigate seriously, learned a lot. The majority
have to be three plus ers three plus floaters. Oh
that's our new shirt. I'm part of the no know
how like you know like like I'm like like stupid
(21:28):
wash FM. It's the five am club. No, no, we
are the three plus folder three plus floaters club. That's
the By the way, you gotta be a fat guy
to get that shirt.
Speaker 7 (21:42):
Like, I get what the three plus floaters club is
because you've just described it to us. What's the five
am club?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Oh? We get up early to make lunch for the kids.
Speaker 7 (21:51):
Oh so it has something to do with bowel movements, listenership,
Oh no, no, at home.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Yeah, it's like they're they're up at five and I
can hear the mindset.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
But they're tuned in and they're listening.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
They are not I've seen they don't have.
Speaker 7 (22:05):
There's no like games or contesting specific or anything live.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
No, what's happening with the three plus floaters?
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Those people are making dumps? Promise you promise you easily?
Three plus floater? Where am I going mine?
Speaker 8 (22:23):
One?
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Hi Elliott the morning, Heley, How you doing good? What's
going on? Dude?
Speaker 9 (22:28):
Man, I am not kidding you.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I have not had a solid bottle movement in about
twelve years, by the way.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
That's me.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
I mean, it's it's a rarity when it happened, you know,
Like I was just saying, people strive to have a ghost.
I strive to just even have a floater. Yeah. No,
my mixes, thank you, and I feel like I eat
for Hi.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
I was gonna ask him what his ailment is.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Oh, you got to investigate that. I'm telling you, I
am so afraid to go get the locker treatment. The no, no,
to get that that scan.
Speaker 6 (23:04):
Had this problem for years and you've had a colonoscopy?
Speaker 2 (23:07):
How many years ago it's been?
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Yeah, And they didn't say I needed to move actly.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Yeah, yeah it was it was.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
It wasn't any cause for alarm when you had your colonoscopy,
which is when you would have heard abound it.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Exactly where am I going? Like, I didn't even have polyups?
Congress Line five? Hi Elliott in the morning.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Yeah, it was Jordan and Frederick.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Yes, sir, what what are you calling me about?
Speaker 7 (23:37):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (23:37):
So, when we were in high school, we had a
friend who would brag actually quite often about this phenomenon
being a common thing for him. So he would talk
about it to the point where we would all kind
of get annoyed. Eventually, I found out later that his
email address was clean Dropper, so he actually carried that
(24:00):
through life. So basically, anytime I ever have this crazy
phenomenon happened to me, I just get a ry smile,
think of my friend and say a clean Dropper. I
get it.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
On a normal on a normal day. Are you a
three plus floater?
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Oh no, yeah, the clean is a rare clean is
a rare thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
No, I got so many people in questions line one, Hi,
elliot the morning.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
Hey, my daughter has called you a couple of times.
She's got she's got crones.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Three plus floater, she's a three plus floater.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
No, but her doctor is a listener of yours. And
he has said multiple times, you've got to make yourself
the checkout man.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Wait me or your daughter.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Yes, he said that the way you talk about your
own gut health, you need to make a Gastroe appointment.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Oh, that's just somebody with his shingle out trying to
just con me out of money.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
They're problem with taking fourteen.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
He's a pediatric gastro and he says, not with him.
He said, definitely, not with him, but you should definitely
make it a point.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yeah, even he's like, no, I'm good, I'm good. Hey,
let me ask you this, dad, Are you a three
plus floater?
Speaker 4 (25:25):
I take ozempic and whenever I take my shot, I'm
on the can for for for a while, for the
next day and a half.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Wait, so ozemp it gives you ozempic give.
Speaker 6 (25:37):
It some people, most people get constipated, but other people
can go the other way too.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
He is, so you end up so you take ozempic
and you end up playing that uh that old old
uh oh game of a smear of the rear.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
No I want, I wind up squeezing toothpaste.
Speaker 7 (25:58):
Where's the full bank of sound effects? Pull them off
the stage.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
It's Monday.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Give him the hook?
Speaker 1 (26:13):
All right? So what are we striving for?
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Better health?
Speaker 1 (26:17):
No? I know, But how do we know we've gotten there?
Speaker 2 (26:21):
From not having to use three wipes a no wiper.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
You get a no wiper and you sink or or
you damn the torpedo and it just goes shooting straight
down there. You don't even have to waste water on
the flush. Never happened, and I could see out of
the corner of my eye. Good news to my three
(26:46):
plus floaters. Breakfast has arrived right on
Let's be mature, Lacey. Can you be an adult? Please?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Of course?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
You know how sometimes what what do you call it?
When you go to the bathroom, You got to make
a like crap, Like what do you say?
Speaker 3 (00:17):
I have three young kids, so I feel like usually
it's pretty like g rated.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
No, but it's like we're all at the bar, we're
at the bathroom. We're at the bar. Hold on one second,
I gotta take a crap or go to the bathroom. Well,
then I would expect I am being an adult. I
would expect that you're just going to take a piss.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Kristen has a million euphemisms anyway.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Okay, so lazy Lacey. Sometimes there's a and again I'm
approaching this as an adult discussing health.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
We've just kept dropping the sea word moments ago.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Well that that is some that to some people that's
what they do. Some people go make a bowel movement.
Some people take a crap. What do you call that? Phenomenon?
And it is when like you know, when you're done
and no jobs complete until the paperwork is done. But
when you do the paperwork and there's nothing there.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Oh, I don't know, a queen poop.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
I have no idea.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
I've never had a word for that.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Have you ever had that phenomenon?
Speaker 6 (01:27):
I have?
Speaker 5 (01:28):
Yeah, regularly, regularly, but regularly enough to where it was
easy to answer. Question.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Good for you, Good for you? Congratulations Dan? What do
you have You ever had that phenomenon?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Sure everybody has. That's you know what. I take that
back because given the shot that you could.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Hear in your voice what I've heard, I've heard of them.
I've heard of them.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
The unicorn, Yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Unicorn is one of them, thank you, Jane. Unicorn poop? Oh, okay,
unicorn poops? What are they most commonly referred to as?
Speaker 7 (02:03):
Though, isn't it like Halloween like spooky poops? Hasn't Kristen
said that spooky poops?
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I've never heard that.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Doesn't Kristen call something that spook spooky poop?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Spooky poopy? That's when there's nothing on the TP Kristen,
turn you. I can't. I can't understand what you're saying.
I can't understand what you're saying. Come on, what what
do people call it? There's several of them? Hi, Kristen,
good morning. Yes, I'm sorry. Spooky poopy?
Speaker 8 (02:35):
Yeah, it's Halloween.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
You know when you see the ghosts and spooky poopy. No,
I understand that, but that's are you.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Referring to the toilet paper as the ghost? No, it's
just spooky poopy season?
Speaker 7 (02:48):
Oh a season? Yeah, oh so that wasn't So what
am I thinking of? Is it ghost related?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Well, the emoji is like that.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Elliott's to get us to think of. Is it haunted something.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
The oh I got haunted poops? No? No, no, you're
right ghost poops.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Oh there, yeah, that's why I thought of spooky spooky
poopy Friday night at the track.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Well, hold on, hold on, one, said Christin. Will you
do me a favor. There's still a couple that are
out there. Will you see if anybody else number one
has experienced the phenomenon and what they call it? Please please?
Eight six six to Elliott eight six six two three
five five four six eight And remember I'm approaching this
from an adult health standpoint. What do we call them?
(03:41):
And have you experienced the phenomenon anyway? I'm sorry, Tyler. Yes,
back to the track.
Speaker 7 (03:49):
Meet regarding spooky poopies, they had to use a porta
potty now access to the facilities at the high school.
But uh, there were kids trying and convince younger participants
that the bathroom was haunted. And so word comes back
to this group of parents by telling them what they
(04:10):
were making sounds in the bathroom, I'll smell the death.
So where it comes back to the parents that this
is happening. And one of the other dads is like,
we'll make sure they're standing on the toilets. And it's
like I wanted to turn around and say, Jordan, encourage this.
(04:31):
You can't have them to your feet or they know
it's not haunted.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Oh so people were in there making the norm. Oh
I gotcha. Oh well then you know what. Jordan's right?
Where am I going? Christen line too? Thank you? Hi
Ellie in the morning. Yes, hi, who is this?
Speaker 4 (04:54):
This is Chris from the Plains Virginia.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
And yes you were talking about you wipe and there's
nothing on the paper.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
It's called it easy wipe or in some situations it's
a miracle.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Now I will give you easy wipe. Also, is that's
that that that is a common one. That is a
common one, but that gets close to hey, sir, do
you ever have that phenomenon? Uh?
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Every now and then?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Do you really? Oh my god, all right, very good,
Thank you, sir, thank you.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Oh is this something you can look to achieve?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Oh? Yes, oh oh you want those?
Speaker 7 (05:34):
No, no, no, I'm not doubting that people prefer this
to what have you said before, like the tip of
a marker.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
But can you oh my god, it won't stop.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Much like the sperm race. Could you train yourself to
have more of it?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Well, I mean you could. There are certain things you
can do, you want, you want now, I've easy, easy ones,
but a lot of times they're just referred to was
I took a no wiper?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
And not just and you don't want to achieve this
just from a frugal standpoint.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Oh, because it saves on toilet paper.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Well, that definitely saves on toilet paper.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
And I love when people will go like, oh, yeah,
I took a I took a phantom poop. I took
a ghost poop, I took a no wiper. I'm like,
oh my god, amazing.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I'm seeing the word phantom quite a bit.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Phantom. Yes, phantom is one we're missing. We're missing a
big one.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Is it the perfect pinch? That was some Instagram That's a.
Speaker 9 (06:35):
Great one, now, Hoby oh, Toby says it's a false
wipe usually end up having to wipe later.
Speaker 6 (06:44):
He's walking around like dirty drawers.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
And somebody snuck out just a little.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Bit, so maybe he's more in your camp.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
I gotta tell you, I got home on Friday with
such and again I'm being an adult and I am
approaching this from a health standpoint. I got home on
Friday with such a residual itch that when I got home,
I went to town and I was like, did I
forget to do the paperwork when I went? Originally amazing,
(07:22):
and then from the drive home I did walk into
the house like I was going to a movie where
I'm just picking my seat. Where am I goings from?
Speaker 7 (07:28):
You're definitely going to this message from you, who has
told us that he was nicknamed Teddy Ruxpin High his
fraternity because of how harry yes he is. So he
doesn't have a specific word for it, but on the
rare occasion it happens, he just thinks to himself, Wow, awesome, lyne.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Too, Hi Elliott the morning, Yes sir, who's this? And yes, sir,
yes a name please me?
Speaker 2 (08:09):
And the fellow has been calling those magic pups since
middle school.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeah, you know what, and that is a that is
a good one, that is a good one. Does that
ever happen for you? In the rare case it does?
Speaker 3 (08:21):
We all celebrate, you.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Know what, good on you, let's have cake, good on you,
let me cake causes them not to be so clean?
Ummm yeah, I mean that is that is that is true?
That is true. Again, you're pushing for well, poor choice
of terms, You're striving for this.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
You're you're sitting there acting as if you are about
to reveal the greatest scientific breakthrough.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Of all time.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
I have I've never I've never had this. I've never
had this. I just thought like, sometimes you're lucky. And
that's why they liked refer to it as nirvana poops,
because you're achieving what you should, they said, the perfect
(09:10):
and again call it what you want, ghost poop, unicorn poop,
no wiper should almost be how the the and again
I'm an adult and we're being health it should almost be.
It should almost be like a perfect sausage.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
What do you mean by that?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Where there's almost a well, no push, no push.
Speaker 7 (09:40):
So the second you're straining, no no, no, no, no,
you don't you're not having one of these no, no.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Sometimes sometimes you sometimes you will. But they're saying that
it is almost like your body as the as the
what do you want to call that crap goes through
your system, it picks up things along the way. But
because you're you're you're your butt, your butt, excuse me,
your gut is so healthy it almost picks up. They
(10:08):
refer to it as kind of like a shiny sausage casing.
Kristen just mouthed, I get it, almost like a nice
sausage casing that goes around your your fico and where
your fecal.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
It sounds like you.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
And comes out the butt.
Speaker 7 (10:32):
I can't mouth anything because I'm trying to hold in
spin up.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
And that's how you get a no wiper, a ghost poop.
So you've just been healthy that day. The well, so
they'll say, well you would, well hold on. Where am
I going to? Line eight? Okay? I don't know what
line eight's got for me? Hi elliot in the morning, Hey, yes, sir.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Uh okay. Everything he relates to baseball like an uper
decker right now, I call it a walk off or
walk away. You don't have to do anything.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I like that. I like that, Hey, real quick, can
I Can I tangent for one second? You brought up baseball?
Can I tangent for one second? Do you know who
the pitcher Roki Sasaki is, the kid who came over
from Japan.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Yeah, the new guy.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Yeah, a place for the place for the Dodgers. So
when he came over, there were a lot of teams
that were interested in in signing him, right, and a
lot of people were like, oh, well, what do you
call it? Show haze with the Dodgers and they have
money and stuff. So he went out to dinner with
Stan Kasten, who's like this, the president of the Dodgers
used to be here. He went out to dinner and
(11:53):
Stan was telling in an effort to kind of sway,
Roki Sasaki had said, Hey, listen, you know we're also
we're putting we're building out the clubhouse, and we're making
all these improvements. We're spending about three hundred million dollars
in amenities for I mean, Dodger Stadium is an old stadium.
And so he was saying, all of the we're putting
(12:15):
all this work in to make it better for the team. Sasaki,
who now says it was a little bit tongue in
cheek said oh, are you going to put in Japanese
style toilets? And Stan said do what now?
Speaker 2 (12:31):
What are those?
Speaker 1 (12:32):
And so he explained that a lot of the toilets
in Japan, and we've heard this, they're bedets, the seats
are heated, the remote control like all kinds of stuff
that go into those. And Stan said, you know what, Roki,
thank you, We are going to do that. And Roki
(12:53):
was like, you know what, this is a team that
listens to input from the players. That's why I'm going
to sign And he ended up signing with the Dodgers
because they put in they put in Japanese style toilets.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Crazy.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Isn't that awesome? Isn't that great? Oh? Back to back
to fantoms.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Or, as Reese refers to them, glorious.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
All right, would you like to answer another question about your.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Stool, specifically our own?
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Okay? Oh, okay, okay, Diane, I'll start with you this.
This would be before you even wiped sink or float
both in the same load.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
No no, no, Kristen, I know wait in the same
no no no, no, both yeah, one more frequent than
the other.
Speaker 6 (14:01):
I don't know, you know, I don't people. I don't
keep little tick marks.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
No, but you know how some people like when they
fill up with gas, they take that log out of
like the glove compartment and they write everything in. I'd
like you to start doing that, okay, Tyler, yep, float
or sink?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
This is what I believe the no what do you no?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
No, no, no, no, no no no. I'm just move
away from the ghost. Move away, I said, pretend to.
But this is before the paperwork is done.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Sometimes it's like you don't even think you went.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Oh, it's just goes shuttling down the bowl. Yeah, that's
that slick outer casing I was talking about. That thing
comes out like a torpedo. Damn the ships.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
But I but I would say, sink.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Sink okay, more often than not, put a check mark.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
At least turn on her mic Diane, Well, hold on.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
I gotta write down, Diane. Diane is both okay, I both, Kristen, Yes,
before we even get to the paperwork, sink or float.
Normally they sink, okay.
Speaker 8 (15:15):
Sometimes I've had some floaters, and as you probably know,
explosions usually just pack.
Speaker 10 (15:28):
Okay, thank you now, I will Christ's there's extra credit
for extra answers.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Right, I will tell you this on the on the
sometimes occasion where I had just haven't blended two liquids,
I definitely floats.
Speaker 7 (15:56):
I definitely float, which leads me to believe you want
to sink.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Yes, there you go. You want your your your stool
to sink. Why is that.
Speaker 7 (16:10):
Well, because it's not what's happening to you, And that
means you're.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Okay. So if you don't want to tell me why
you sink, tell me why you float.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Does it have something to do with like air content
or something?
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Those are biscuits?
Speaker 2 (16:24):
No, I mean it's content in some way.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, you have too much fat in your stool? Yeah, yeah,
I like to I like to call it marbling.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
God, are we done?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
So you are just.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Ready to meat for me?
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Are you ready for this? Floating typically means you have
a higher fat content in your stool. That's what causes
them to stay on the surface. But when your poop sinks,
that suggests your digestion is functioning well. So that's good.
If you're sinking, you're good now obviously, So again you
(17:09):
want to either sink and if you are sinking and
again ghost pooping like you are healthy upper echelon. The
more fiber you eat, the better your stool consistency will be.
The easier it is to go to the bathroom, the
(17:31):
less toilet paper you'll need. But also because your gut
has kind of given you that shiny sausage casing, so fiber.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Obviously, I feel like fiber is an easy go.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
To healthy just healthier eating in general. Exercise improves your
bowel movements.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Oh that I didn't know. I had, no, I've heard
that before. I don't understand it.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
What do you mean.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
I don't understand how the two or one begets the other.
You know what I mean? Like I mean over.
Speaker 6 (18:04):
Overall, Yeah, it's it's healthier for you to exercise.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Well, I guess, well, I think it's everything. I think
it's everything.
Speaker 10 (18:13):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
They said it does help everything and helps your sleep.
It helps your mental acuity.
Speaker 7 (18:19):
Right, the sleep play effector yes, absolutely, I guess it
does for everything.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Absolutely. Here's where I threw the papers in the air,
and not my ghost papers, but the actual article I
was reading. If you're seeing a lot of residue on
the toilet paper, now.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Risen.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Guilty. I haven't even gotten to the part that threw
me off. If you're seeing a lot of residue on
the toilet paper when wiping, it could mean you have
an underlying health issue. If you have to wipe at
least three times, you may want to investigate. Wow, and
(19:06):
that's why I have opened Elliott's investigation office three times. Yes, Like,
what is that old saying you can't fold a piece
of paper more than seven times? I fold that thing
up like crazy, and I'm still going.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Through it, Kristen like a hyena?
Speaker 1 (19:29):
So are seeing a lot of residue? Do you wipe
at least three times? And I don't mean like one, two, three,
I mean like you wipe, you wipe, you wipe, you fold,
you wipe, your fold, wipe, you fold, discard, no pull, pull, pull,
pull fold, fold, wipe, wipe, fold white, wipe, fold, discard,
(19:56):
pull pull pull fold white.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Still there, God, how much money spent on toilet paper?
It is a from here. And yet you still had
to go in and wipe again on Friday.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Oh and and just you know, some people like if
you talk about ants, they feel itchy. I don't even
have to tell you what I got going on. I
definitely wipe more and and again it's not just three
swipes at it. It is three routines through it easily. Easily.
Speaker 7 (20:28):
Now your first example that you're demonstrated for Diane, it
looked like you were using the same sheet. Yeah, without
even folding.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
No no, no, no, no, no, no, I always fold,
ok always? Yeah, don't you agree?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
He just went wipe wipe and oh.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
No no, I was just saying fold, So wipe, fold wipe. Yeah,
well it's it's inferred.
Speaker 9 (20:50):
But yeah, I got nervous. So no, no, what are
you doing now? Under you're having to be wipe? Do
you put your money shoes on to walk back through
the house. No, Jesus, what am I an animal?
Speaker 7 (21:03):
Well?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
I need to investigate seriously, learned a lot. The majority
have to be three plus ers three plus floaters. Oh
that's our new shirt. I'm part of the no know
how like you know like like I'm like like stupid
(21:28):
wash FM. It's the five am club. No, no, we
are the three plus folder three plus floaters club. That's
the By the way, you gotta be a fat guy
to get that shirt.
Speaker 7 (21:42):
Like, I get what the three plus floaters club is
because you've just described it to us. What's the five
am club?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Oh? We get up early to make lunch for the kids.
Speaker 7 (21:51):
Oh so it has something to do with bowel movements, listenership,
Oh no, no, at home.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Yeah, it's like they're they're up at five and I
can hear the mindset.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
But they're tuned in and they're listening.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
They are not I've seen they don't have.
Speaker 7 (22:05):
There's no like games or contesting specific or anything live.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
No, what's happening with the three plus floaters?
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Those people are making dumps? Promise you promise you easily?
Three plus floater? Where am I going mine?
Speaker 8 (22:23):
One?
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Hi Elliott the morning, Heley, How you doing good? What's
going on? Dude?
Speaker 9 (22:28):
Man, I am not kidding you.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I have not had a solid bottle movement in about
twelve years, by the way.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
That's me.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
I mean, it's it's a rarity when it happened, you know,
Like I was just saying, people strive to have a ghost.
I strive to just even have a floater. Yeah. No,
my mixes, thank you, and I feel like I eat
for Hi.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
I was gonna ask him what his ailment is.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Oh, you got to investigate that. I'm telling you, I
am so afraid to go get the locker treatment. The no, no,
to get that that scan.
Speaker 6 (23:04):
Had this problem for years and you've had a colonoscopy?
Speaker 2 (23:07):
How many years ago it's been?
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Yeah, And they didn't say I needed to move actly.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Yeah, yeah it was it was.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
It wasn't any cause for alarm when you had your colonoscopy,
which is when you would have heard abound it.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Exactly where am I going? Like, I didn't even have polyups?
Congress Line five? Hi Elliott in the morning.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Yeah, it was Jordan and Frederick.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Yes, sir, what what are you calling me about?
Speaker 7 (23:37):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (23:37):
So, when we were in high school, we had a
friend who would brag actually quite often about this phenomenon
being a common thing for him. So he would talk
about it to the point where we would all kind
of get annoyed. Eventually, I found out later that his
email address was clean Dropper, so he actually carried that
(24:00):
through life. So basically, anytime I ever have this crazy
phenomenon happened to me, I just get a ry smile,
think of my friend and say a clean Dropper. I
get it.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
On a normal on a normal day. Are you a
three plus floater?
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Oh no, yeah, the clean is a rare clean is
a rare thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
No, I got so many people in questions line one, Hi,
elliot the morning.
Speaker 4 (24:32):
Hey, my daughter has called you a couple of times.
She's got she's got crones.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Three plus floater, she's a three plus floater.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
No, but her doctor is a listener of yours. And
he has said multiple times, you've got to make yourself
the checkout man.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Wait me or your daughter.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Yes, he said that the way you talk about your
own gut health, you need to make a Gastroe appointment.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Oh, that's just somebody with his shingle out trying to
just con me out of money.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
They're problem with taking fourteen.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
He's a pediatric gastro and he says, not with him.
He said, definitely, not with him, but you should definitely
make it a point.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yeah, even he's like, no, I'm good, I'm good. Hey,
let me ask you this, dad, Are you a three
plus floater?
Speaker 4 (25:25):
I take ozempic and whenever I take my shot, I'm
on the can for for for a while, for the
next day and a half.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Wait, so ozemp it gives you ozempic give.
Speaker 6 (25:37):
It some people, most people get constipated, but other people
can go the other way too.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
He is, so you end up so you take ozempic
and you end up playing that uh that old old
uh oh game of a smear of the rear.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
No I want, I wind up squeezing toothpaste.
Speaker 7 (25:58):
Where's the full bank of sound effects? Pull them off
the stage.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
It's Monday.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Give him the hook?
Speaker 1 (26:13):
All right? So what are we striving for?
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Better health?
Speaker 1 (26:17):
No? I know, But how do we know we've gotten there?
Speaker 2 (26:21):
From not having to use three wipes a no wiper.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
You get a no wiper and you sink or or
you damn the torpedo and it just goes shooting straight
down there. You don't even have to waste water on
the flush. Never happened, and I could see out of
the corner of my eye. Good news to my three
(26:46):
plus floaters. Breakfast has arrived right on
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