December 3, 2025 • 28 mins
Orthodoxy by proxy.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Would I be able to I can find people that
have been to Jewish weddings? Would I be able to
find somebody who's been to an Orthodox wedding?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
It's going to be more difficult.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Yeah, I mean that's another level, that's another step up.
I mean I got two people have never even been
to a Jewish wedding?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Have you?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
I don't think I have.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
You would know, trust me, you would know. Do you
remember that one time you spent your entire day there
is I mean they can go, they can go. Kristen
is there.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
I'll do it just to be.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
You want to go, you want to go to an
Orthodox one?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Or just a I'm sorry, Kristin? What is are you?
These are pay us.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
With these ceremonies are crazy?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Was there ever Jewish wedding? What's the name of the
hamlet that you're from? Ashland or whatever? There were no Jewish.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
People there, not on the candy cane trail.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I need I would like to talk to either A.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Would I be able to find would I be able
to find somebody who is Orthodox Jewish?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Elliott? What are you doing here? Okay?
Speaker 1 (01:23):
So I either need I needed a knowledgeable Jew somebody
who has been to an Orthodox Jewish wedding.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Or somebody who is an Orthodox Jew.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It's kind of like we had a pie and it
was full and you could have any slice you wanted.
Then you're like, I just want a smaller slice. And
then you told the person who baked it, I'm on
a diet. I need the thinnest peace possible.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Am I going to line two? Let me do that.
Hi Ellie in the morning.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
Hello, Hi, Who's this is Zach? Oh? Hi Zach?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
And where are you calling me from.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Richmond?
Speaker 5 (02:07):
But I just put it into work and asklyn, Oh.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I got you very good. And now let me ask
you this. Are you are you? Are you an Orthodox Jew?
Speaker 4 (02:16):
I am not, but both my sisters.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Are so Jewish family, you just didn't grow up Orthodox, correct, Hey,
So let me ask you this. I believe I've been
to one Orthodox Jewish wedding.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
They're pretty lengthy, right.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Oh yeah yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:34):
And now the like hour's lengthy? Oh yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Like no, I told you you know if you've been there,
because it goes on all day, like it is.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
A all day, all day.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Beautiful ceremony. Beautiful ceremony. I mean it does go on
for a bit, it does go on, you know what's fun?
Take a kid and then when they go where we
almost done and look at me and go haven't even
scratched the surface.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah, no, we're going to be here for a while.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Kristen guests to ride in a one horse open sledge.
She's thinking of that trail again.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Hey, so your your sisters when when they got married?
Are they are they like real Orthodox Jews?
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Yeah, one lives in Israel, one lives in Baltimore.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
The and and those two very similar, very very similar. No,
there actually is a very very big and growing Jewish
population in Baltimore. Let me ask you this though, when
when at the wedding when when, especially the one that
lives in Israel, when they got married, had she spent
(03:40):
any time with her husband previous to the wedding night?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Yeah, Actually the older sister they like went to school
together growing up.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I meant like, like they didn't live together or anything
like that.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
No, correct, No, is it.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Their first night of that they were ever going to
be intimate.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
I've never really thought about that, but I would guess
that that's probably the case.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah, so there is a I didn't watch the whole documentary,
but there was a movie that came out that that
was done. The headline going into it was we had
never touched Then came our Wedding Night, and it's all
about it's pretty interesting. It's all about the whether you're
Jewish or not. I mean, listen the whole time they're
(04:32):
speaking Hebrew and I'm watching it going like I don't know,
thank God for subtitles.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
But it's this whole thing of like.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
You're excited and in some cases, I mean, if it
is ultra ultra ultra orthodox, you may not have even
like it could be, it could be arranged, but there's
like this excitement but also this real trepedition, trepedition, trepidation
station about what's getting ready to happen. And in some
(04:59):
cases they'll they'll show where like the man will sit
with the bride his future mother in law and go, hey,
should we call this thing off? Because it gets to
him and like and sometimes like the bride's mom will go,
we already bought the dress, like we're here, like we're going,
and they get going. But I mean imagine they've never
like they've never they've never held hands, Diane.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Now, they've never kissed.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Have they seen the other reproductive system before. What do
you mean, what are they virgins? No, I know they're virgins,
but I'm saying, have they seen like in not not
in real life, right, but in any sort of academic.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Setting, academic learning setting. I want to separate the two.
I want to separate the two. I don't know if
they would have seen like in sex ad or something
like that.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Do I think they've seen porn? Probably? I bet you
saw though probably not.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Probably not, but maybe when they were younger, maybe like
before they got really really invested. Like I'll tell you
this the Orthodox wedding I went to. I know the
dude spent a crap ton of money on nine.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Hundred sex lines. I'm sorry, what like, way back.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
In the day he was an Orthodox Jew, but like
when he was young, before he became really really devout,
he spent a lot of money on nine hundred sex line.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
But that doesn't mean you've seen a penis.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Well, he would have seen a cooter, but yeah, not.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
If you're calling something the no.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
No, But I'm saying he was the guy and he
was interested in women, So I don't know if he
would he had seen his own penis.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I just wonder if it's not just obviously having no experience,
it's could you imagine knowledge?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Could you imagine getting your wedding night you've never seen
irl like titties like that would be crazy?
Speaker 4 (06:56):
RL.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
What's the Hebrew?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
All right? Very good, very good? Thank you, thank you, sir,
thank you? Oh is that my synagogue? Lady?
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
The boy? Hello? Oh very good? Wait? What was your
what was your your Hebrew name? Malca, Malca, malca your molca?
Exactly exactly? Now you are.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I'm assuming the synagogue you're at, you guys have hosted
Well that that isn't true. I don't know what kind
of synagogue it is. But do you guys host Orthodox weddings?
Speaker 4 (07:38):
No, we'reformed, you're reformed?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Okay, yeah, so you wouldn't be in there. Have you
been to an Orthodox wedding?
Speaker 5 (07:46):
I may have when I was very young.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Do you remember being there all day and hating your
parents for making you sit through it? No?
Speaker 5 (07:55):
Because it was New York relatives and they It got
really boring at the end because we were waiting and
waiting and waiting and waiting.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
For them to show up because I don't know what
they were doing. But we got to eat there.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
You go yeah no, And that's the only reason you
hang in there, because you know you got a good
PISTROMI coming as soon as you as soon as you
wrap up. Hey, are you are you familiar with like
I mean just being like working for a synagogueough? Are
you familiar with like the rules of an Orthodox wedding, Not.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
In particular because we don't follow those, but I can
tell you that two virgins in a bed is one
too many.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
I'm writing that down.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
But in the case, in the case of Orthodox Jews,
you would have two virgins in a bed exactly.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
But you know they figure it out.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Yeah no, And I mean listen, I'm sure, I'm sure
do they.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Well you read about it. It does it always work
out in the end?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Work out? Wait?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Do they?
Speaker 1 (09:09):
I think we're talking about two things malk is talking about.
Like you figure out round peg, round hole, Like you
can figure that Abby over time. I think on the
first night you could figure out how to have sex.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
I know you said you didn't watch this doc, but
I guarantee you there are.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
People that don't know where it goes.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
That it's just like you mentioned, well whoa whoa Big
Cavaliers says, I do think.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
That the father would help out you know of the
groom talk.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Okay, thank you, because there's some confusing I don't think
he's in there guiding it the no, no, but I
think you would know.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I think you would know where if you hadn't if
you hadn't.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Don't you have a limited amount of time?
Speaker 3 (09:57):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Don't you have just a few minutes until and before
you have to then reappear at the party.
Speaker 7 (10:07):
Oh yeah, yeah, so you are not on the clock. Yes,
but if you don't know what you're doing, right, yeah,
you don't have But do you you night back up
for steph?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
You think that and you would whether it was academically
yet at a curiosity you had seen a female reproductive
organ prior to getting married.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Do you.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yes? But don't you not an orthodox?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Do the the neither of my ultra altra orthodox? But no.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
But what I'm saying is, do you think even if
you strip away all academia, and you strip away all
porn or magazines or conversations, that you wouldn't be able
to walk into a room and like you still know
it's their private part, so you know what area you're
dealing with.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
You don't think you would know what to do. I
think you would, I really do.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I don't think that's a safe bet. Really, there's just
so much pressure.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah, I'm not saying it's gonna be good. You may
you may get a thigh pregnant. Like no, I'm serious,
Like I would, I would, I would explode. But I
but I think from knowledge of what you're supposed to do,
I don't think it's hard to figure that out.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
But if you maybe think it needs why do I
have this hole in the sheet, but it needs to
to begin with obviously some sort of lead up. Again,
the timers going, I don't know the Hebrew word. What
is the intimacy room called?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Isn't it the fantasy suite? These malca malca?
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
What is what is the intimacy suite called for?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
For Jews?
Speaker 5 (11:59):
I don't know, but you could probably google it.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
The probably.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Because some people stand guard waiting for you, you're the elders.
That sounds really inviting for the first time.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
And then they yeah, and then they check the sheets.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
The I have this, I have the name of it.
Shall I spell it first?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
No? They said, no, no.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
No, But so back up a step there is so
so you you you have the ceremony and you you
get married, but then you do kind of usher off
side stage, if you will, to what what is what
is the what is the traditional word to not not
not not commemorate, consummate, consummate the wedding. Right, so you
(12:51):
you go to the you go to the fantasy suite,
and then you consummate the wedding and then you come
back out and you're ready to go.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Like now it's now, get me in a chair. We're partying.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Is that because in the Jewish faith, consummation is a
big part of like the un Yes.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yes, absolutely, it's signing the katuba, thank you. It's signing
the katuba and then the obviously the ceremony. Now at
an Orthodox wedding there are hours and hours between the two.
But it is signing the katuba, which is the marriage contract,
and then there's the ceremony. But the consummation is the
(13:29):
like that's planting the flag in it, so to speak.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
All right, Diane, Oh, this is the intimacy room. Yes,
go ahead.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Uh they call it the yehud room.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
I'm sorry, y hoot?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Why I c h u d d yha.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Malka, how would you how would you pronounce.
Speaker 5 (13:53):
That your hud not bad?
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Yeah? No, no, that's very good, that's very good. And
the now, have you ever Malca, have you ever been
in a yehood?
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
I haven't either, Like, I don't know that you could
tour a synagogue, like an Orthodox synagogue and get a
tour of the yeh hood?
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Could you doubt that?
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Could you imagine how nerve racking it is to go
into that room? That's what I'm saying. Yes, but also
but so exciting, so exciting.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I honestly do not believe. I can't say it enough.
They're scared, scared.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
I was scared the first time I had sex.
Speaker 5 (14:40):
Especially if they've never met each other.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Yeah, well, I mean that is that's a whole other level.
I don't know. Do you know the answer to that, Malka.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
What percentage of like your real Orthodox Jews have never
met each other prior to the wedding?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
I think that number.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I think historically that number would be high, but I
think in modern time that number has really really decreased.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
I totally agree with you.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeah, like so I don't I don't know what that
number is now. But yes, back in the day, it
would be like like my my Indian friends where a
lot of their marriages are arranged and they wouldn't have
met until their their their wedding night, and so they
would you wouldn't know.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
But but those numbers have gone down.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
And the communities are so small these days.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
That is true. That is true. I almost hope we
get invited to go to one.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
We have a better chance of winning a Peabody.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Do you think do you think when they go into
the intimacy room and like the the elders if you will,
that are standing guard, do you think there's a like
a lot of winks and smiles.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Like get after it?
Speaker 4 (15:58):
No, I out that.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
I think it's treated very seriously.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Oh yes, And what did they always say about two
virgins and a bed, Malka, get or done.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
That? I've never heard that. I have never heard that.
But I love it, Malka. I appreciate the phone call.
Thank you, ma'am.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
Thank you, You're very welcome.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
You got to talk to you later.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Is it possible, though, because we've all heard of the
I didn't know it was called they hood right, Well,
maybe we not all heard of that, Kristen, but the
intimacy room.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
I think most people have never heard of that.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
But if they're if you're following tradition, right, maybe you
have to stick to the script. Do we think me
in more modern times, but within still a more orthodox
slanted ceremony, maybe that room is used for a different
type of intimacy and not consummation like oral or just
(17:03):
kissing in general. How about just talking? Yeah, it's a
moment away. They actually say that for all faiths. It's
nice when the married couple can can walk away, you
get like ten fifteen minutes of three time to themselves. Sure, yeah, no,
what if that's but that's not what that room was
built for. I understand. But is it possible it's sort
(17:25):
of evolved for some people into that I hope not
just like you mentioned, And I don't want to compare
it to the fantasy suite, right, but you called it that.
But on the Bachelor Bacheorette sometimes they just chat in
those rooms.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Yeah, all don't talk with your mouth, they said.
Speaker 6 (17:43):
It's an important It's often seen as an important lesson
for marriage in general, because you shouldn't let the hustle
and bustle of life like what you're around you around you.
You also always have to have private time for each other.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
For sex or just connect. Yeah, I can connect for
the rest of my life.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
I've waited my whole life for a little I don't
know how you say it, but it's a spelled P
I T W.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
And that's what I'm in this room for. I'm here
to get a slice of men.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I didn't notice that Kristen had posted. Kristen writes, Wait,
the boom boom room is inside the church. I feel
like there's a couple of things that tackle in that.
Speaker 7 (18:31):
It is.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
It is part of it's it's not a church, it's
a synagogueace.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
But yes, it is. It is. It is part of
an Orthodox synagogue.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Her look at her face says, I'd prefer to call
it a church, right.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
The also, the hot tub that's part of the church
is also part of the synagogue.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
That is a mikvah. Clean it, clean it, oh, Chris,
and I'll explain it to you later. There's a there's.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Usually a pool outside for the real Orthodox women, so
they can't go in if they're OTR, so they would
get into the mikfa to clean up their couter. I
hope that I'm explaining it. I hope Orthodox Jews aren't
mad man. I'm explaining it on a on a wider scope.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Well, what hasn't called in yet?
Speaker 3 (19:25):
The Oh, no, I got one is line one? He's Orthodox?
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Hi Ellie in the morning, Hey morning, Hey, how are
you sir? Great? How are you Elliott?
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Good? You're you're an Orthodox Jew? I am excellent, excellent?
Speaker 5 (19:38):
Have I have?
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Have we been off on a lot of things?
Speaker 4 (19:41):
Or no, you've been close. I think the closest you
got with they had saying you should and that was
pretty close. But everything else has been somewhat off, but
somewhat close.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Right, but somewhat close right. So the the the the
fantasy suite is at the synagogue, right.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
It's wherever the wedding is. It wasn't not much of
a fantasy suite. I think Tyler was pretty close to it.
It's not. I mean, you have to think about it.
At a wedding, it's the middle of the wedding. You're
all dressed up, makeup, dresses, suits, whatever it is. You
can't get undressed in that room and then get redressed
to come back out.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Oh you ain't got a zipper on your pants?
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Do you have any idea, how much how hard it
to get a wedding dress off, pull it off, so
you can't and you don't really have that much time
to do that as well, because oftentimes pictures are done
at that right after that as well, because the husband
and wife, well I have not seen each other oftentimes beforehand.
And on top of that, oftentimes the husband and wife
(20:37):
are fasting before that moment, the whole day, right, so
they're eating in that room, So it's really now they
are I'm sorry, yeah, no, no, you're good. It's it's
really just like to get away, like you're like you're
all saying. However, it's not just to share a moment.
(20:57):
It's really because according to Jewish in the more orthodox sections,
you really can't be alone with each other at ball.
So it's almost sort of like the first part of
that marriage part where you can actually be alone as
a husband and wife, but you're not you're not having sex.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
But back in the day, was it to consummate the marriage.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
I don't think so. I don't think so. It's really
because it's the first time that you can be alone
that's a big deal. Like normally they're completely separate, So
it's it's really the first part of that you can
be all as a big thing where people can't be
alone with your teen you can't be alone with other men,
you can't be alone with a woman in a room,
in a car, you just can't be alone with the
opposite sex. So this is really the first time that
(21:38):
you can be alone. And it was never I've never,
I've never known it to be like that for all
the weddings I've been to, in all the siblings and
friends and cousins that I've been to, that's never been
the case. So really, yeah, yeah, Well, like you were
all saying, it's it's pretty intimidating. Like if you've been
separated your whole life and you know nothing about the
opposite gender in terms of how to interact with them,
(22:00):
it's pretty to me to be alone the first time.
So usually like exchange gifts, like the groom's parents will
buy the wife the pair of earrings or a necklace,
and the guy will get a watch or whatever it is.
They'll have the have something to eat, and they'll be
done in like five ten minutes, and that's it.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
That's a kind of a letdown, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Well for you, Yeah, but match is someone who hasn't
been alone, right, so it's like, oh my gosh, we're alone.
This is great. And then you gotta bum back out
and then the whole wedding party happens, right, because the
ceremony beforehand, right, you go to the code room, and
then the party happens after that, and then it gets
pretty crazy.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
So right, that is lengthy. That is a lengthy day.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Yeah. Yeah, I mean for like the Startic the Middle
Eastern Jews, that thing goes on to like three o'clock
in the morning, two o'clock in the morning. It just
keeps going. So it's a crazy party.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Have you been to a lot of Orthodox weddings?
Speaker 4 (22:53):
Yeah, I mean, I'm five siblings in my family. We
have I don't know how many cousins I've been to already,
you know, in my forties have been to the least
it's at least close to fifty I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Wowow wow, that is all. That is a ton That
is a ton. Hey, and we're did in obviously you're
you're very orthodox? Is the in all in you and
your siblings' weddings? Did you not spend I mean it's
twenty twenty five and I'm not saying that you you
you don't follow your your faith, right, but but.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Is it still as is it still as strict where.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
You and your wife had never spent any time together
privately prior to the wedding night.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
That was a little a black sheet of my family.
But so I explains while you're listening, the long time listener,
So yes, yes we've been. We didn't follow those rules,
and no one in my family was arranged marriages. But
like my sister got engaged and married within a three
month time period, right, and they didn't date. I have
(23:55):
like a few days beforehand, so it wasn't like you know,
they were They dated five six times, engaged, got married
three months later. So and they had they weren't allowed
to be alone in non public places.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Yeah right, so at home they could be. They could
be together.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Once they're married, but not like if the last one
is in the room with them. They weren't really alone beforehand.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Wow, God, that's crazy. Did they did they just sit
there and talk? Do you know what a letdown that
would be?
Speaker 4 (24:22):
I had amazing dates. They had amazing dates before and
it was all public. They were in New York over
they went to like no, I meant.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
The yude.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
You could, I would walk in, I'd be so upset me, like, seriously,
we're not doing anything.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
We've been not doing anything for months.
Speaker 4 (24:40):
There's so much time like after like that evening where
you can have that experience and that I mean, it's funny.
For me, that experience is more fun. I think the elders,
I wouldn't say really watched the door. It was really
like a friend of with my cousin's wedding, like his
best friends got like super soakers and guarded the door
for them to be That's fun, you know, it's fun.
(25:01):
I don't think it's not as serious in the modern
Orthodox areas and the ultra Orthodox areas. It's it's swept away.
But I don't think it's really just a formality. Someone's
guarding the door to show like that they are alone.
It's not like someone's really going there to check on
them or whatever it is. But it's you know, for
for the people, for my cousins that are in an
ultra Orthodox section, I think it's it's intimidating to be
(25:22):
alone in that in that moment, it's the first time
you're alone with the opposite gender. I mean, that's a
big deal if you think about it, like through puberty
and everything, and you're finally alone with us, with this
other d you have no idea anything about that person.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I would have such nervous breath, like Ted Elliott, have
you been eating? Get filter fish?
Speaker 4 (25:38):
So I'm just very nervous, very Nervousagine when they go
home that night and they have to consummate, and sometimes
people can actually consummate because it's so intimidating, too nervous.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
But consummating. For Jews, the consummation part is a very
very important part.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Of the wedding, huge, huge part, huge part after the
like right after the wedding, and.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
I'd be tuning in Tokyo. I'd be like, I've dreamt
that my whole life.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
Each each each groom and bride before they get married.
In the Orthodox sections, especially the Ultra Orthox sessions, they
have classes they have to go to with their rabbi
and with some other not rabbi but a woman that
could teach them about what's supposed to happen that night
because they don't.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Know, Oh, what's that old joke? What is that old joke? No? No, no, no, no,
what's that old joke. No the and I won't do
it with the Jewish accent. But isn't isn't No, isn't
the old joke.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Take the biggest thing you have and put it where
she peas and the guy takes his shoe and throws
it in the toilet.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
Come on, that's an old joke. That's a goodie.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
That's that's to break the ice. That's to break the
ice a little bit exactly.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
I mean there's a lot there's a lot of a
lot of lubricant that people use to break the ice.
I guess you can say stuff.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Yeah, there you go. That's a good thing.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
That's a good you learned that. That's the first thing
they learned, like lots.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
That's where they learned about We call this the haktua.
All right, yes, sir, yes.
Speaker 4 (27:18):
Sir today point in bio. Growing up, like in ninth grade,
I remember they we weren't allowed to learn the reproductive
part of science. We just have to fail that part
of the regent. So like we just didn't learn it.
I was in New York, so we had to stand
there I teach, So we don't we didn't actually learn that.
I mean we find the ways to learn it as
as boys. I guess you figured it out, but like
at least in my class, but we weren't allowed to
(27:39):
have that part. We weren't allowed to read certain books
that were required. Because of that, we were had certain
sections like just skipped over.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
So we so, like you said, like the regents, which
are kind of like so ols or stuffing. What what
is the know? What are the standards?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Yeah, like those tasks, so they're called regents in New York.
You would have to fail that part because you couldn't
be a part of it.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
Well, we just had to just do better with other parts. Wow, Yeah,
because I mean most people will figure out they're looking
at They know what a penis looks like, right, so
they'll figure out what that part is called. But the
other parts, like if you're looking opposite gender, you just
wouldn't know because we just didn't learn them.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
You didn't know what a cooter was.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
I don't think that was a term on the.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
All right, my friend, I appreciate it, Thank you, sir,
Very educational, very good, Thank you.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
That was awesome
Would I be able to I can find people that
have been to Jewish weddings? Would I be able to
find somebody who's been to an Orthodox wedding?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
It's going to be more difficult.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Yeah, I mean that's another level, that's another step up.
I mean I got two people have never even been
to a Jewish wedding?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Have you?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
I don't think I have.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
You would know, trust me, you would know. Do you
remember that one time you spent your entire day there
is I mean they can go, they can go. Kristen
is there.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
I'll do it just to be.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
You want to go, you want to go to an
Orthodox one?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Or just a I'm sorry, Kristin? What is are you?
These are pay us.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
With these ceremonies are crazy?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Was there ever Jewish wedding? What's the name of the
hamlet that you're from? Ashland or whatever? There were no Jewish.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
People there, not on the candy cane trail.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I need I would like to talk to either A.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Would I be able to find would I be able
to find somebody who is Orthodox Jewish?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Elliott? What are you doing here? Okay?
Speaker 1 (01:23):
So I either need I needed a knowledgeable Jew somebody
who has been to an Orthodox Jewish wedding.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Or somebody who is an Orthodox Jew.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It's kind of like we had a pie and it
was full and you could have any slice you wanted.
Then you're like, I just want a smaller slice. And
then you told the person who baked it, I'm on
a diet. I need the thinnest peace possible.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Am I going to line two? Let me do that.
Hi Ellie in the morning.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
Hello, Hi, Who's this is Zach? Oh? Hi Zach?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
And where are you calling me from.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Richmond?
Speaker 5 (02:07):
But I just put it into work and asklyn, Oh.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I got you very good. And now let me ask
you this. Are you are you? Are you an Orthodox Jew?
Speaker 4 (02:16):
I am not, but both my sisters.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Are so Jewish family, you just didn't grow up Orthodox, correct, Hey,
So let me ask you this. I believe I've been
to one Orthodox Jewish wedding.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
They're pretty lengthy, right.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Oh yeah yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:34):
And now the like hour's lengthy? Oh yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Like no, I told you you know if you've been there,
because it goes on all day, like it is.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
A all day, all day.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Beautiful ceremony. Beautiful ceremony. I mean it does go on
for a bit, it does go on, you know what's fun?
Take a kid and then when they go where we
almost done and look at me and go haven't even
scratched the surface.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah, no, we're going to be here for a while.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Kristen guests to ride in a one horse open sledge.
She's thinking of that trail again.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Hey, so your your sisters when when they got married?
Are they are they like real Orthodox Jews?
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Yeah, one lives in Israel, one lives in Baltimore.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
The and and those two very similar, very very similar. No,
there actually is a very very big and growing Jewish
population in Baltimore. Let me ask you this though, when
when at the wedding when when, especially the one that
lives in Israel, when they got married, had she spent
(03:40):
any time with her husband previous to the wedding night?
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Yeah, Actually the older sister they like went to school
together growing up.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I meant like, like they didn't live together or anything
like that.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
No, correct, No, is it.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Their first night of that they were ever going to
be intimate.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
I've never really thought about that, but I would guess
that that's probably the case.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah, so there is a I didn't watch the whole documentary,
but there was a movie that came out that that
was done. The headline going into it was we had
never touched Then came our Wedding Night, and it's all
about it's pretty interesting. It's all about the whether you're
Jewish or not. I mean, listen the whole time they're
(04:32):
speaking Hebrew and I'm watching it going like I don't know,
thank God for subtitles.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
But it's this whole thing of like.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
You're excited and in some cases, I mean, if it
is ultra ultra ultra orthodox, you may not have even
like it could be, it could be arranged, but there's
like this excitement but also this real trepedition, trepedition, trepidation
station about what's getting ready to happen. And in some
(04:59):
cases they'll they'll show where like the man will sit
with the bride his future mother in law and go, hey,
should we call this thing off? Because it gets to
him and like and sometimes like the bride's mom will go,
we already bought the dress, like we're here, like we're going,
and they get going. But I mean imagine they've never
like they've never they've never held hands, Diane.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Now, they've never kissed.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Have they seen the other reproductive system before. What do
you mean, what are they virgins? No, I know they're virgins,
but I'm saying, have they seen like in not not
in real life, right, but in any sort of academic.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Setting, academic learning setting. I want to separate the two.
I want to separate the two. I don't know if
they would have seen like in sex ad or something
like that.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Do I think they've seen porn? Probably? I bet you
saw though probably not.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Probably not, but maybe when they were younger, maybe like
before they got really really invested. Like I'll tell you
this the Orthodox wedding I went to. I know the
dude spent a crap ton of money on nine.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Hundred sex lines. I'm sorry, what like, way back.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
In the day he was an Orthodox Jew, but like
when he was young, before he became really really devout,
he spent a lot of money on nine hundred sex line.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
But that doesn't mean you've seen a penis.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Well, he would have seen a cooter, but yeah, not.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
If you're calling something the no.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
No, But I'm saying he was the guy and he
was interested in women, So I don't know if he
would he had seen his own penis.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I just wonder if it's not just obviously having no experience,
it's could you imagine knowledge?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Could you imagine getting your wedding night you've never seen
irl like titties like that would be crazy?
Speaker 4 (06:56):
RL.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
What's the Hebrew?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
All right? Very good, very good? Thank you, thank you, sir,
thank you? Oh is that my synagogue? Lady?
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
The boy? Hello? Oh very good? Wait? What was your
what was your your Hebrew name? Malca, Malca, malca your molca?
Exactly exactly? Now you are.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I'm assuming the synagogue you're at, you guys have hosted
Well that that isn't true. I don't know what kind
of synagogue it is. But do you guys host Orthodox weddings?
Speaker 4 (07:38):
No, we'reformed, you're reformed?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Okay, yeah, so you wouldn't be in there. Have you
been to an Orthodox wedding?
Speaker 5 (07:46):
I may have when I was very young.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Do you remember being there all day and hating your
parents for making you sit through it? No?
Speaker 5 (07:55):
Because it was New York relatives and they It got
really boring at the end because we were waiting and
waiting and waiting and waiting.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
For them to show up because I don't know what
they were doing. But we got to eat there.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
You go yeah no, And that's the only reason you
hang in there, because you know you got a good
PISTROMI coming as soon as you as soon as you
wrap up. Hey, are you are you familiar with like
I mean just being like working for a synagogueough? Are
you familiar with like the rules of an Orthodox wedding, Not.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
In particular because we don't follow those, but I can
tell you that two virgins in a bed is one
too many.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
I'm writing that down.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
But in the case, in the case of Orthodox Jews,
you would have two virgins in a bed exactly.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
But you know they figure it out.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Yeah no, And I mean listen, I'm sure, I'm sure
do they.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Well you read about it. It does it always work
out in the end?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Work out? Wait?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Do they?
Speaker 1 (09:09):
I think we're talking about two things malk is talking about.
Like you figure out round peg, round hole, Like you
can figure that Abby over time. I think on the
first night you could figure out how to have sex.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
I know you said you didn't watch this doc, but
I guarantee you there are.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
People that don't know where it goes.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
That it's just like you mentioned, well whoa whoa Big
Cavaliers says, I do think.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
That the father would help out you know of the
groom talk.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Okay, thank you, because there's some confusing I don't think
he's in there guiding it the no, no, but I
think you would know.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I think you would know where if you hadn't if
you hadn't.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Don't you have a limited amount of time?
Speaker 3 (09:57):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Don't you have just a few minutes until and before
you have to then reappear at the party.
Speaker 7 (10:07):
Oh yeah, yeah, so you are not on the clock. Yes,
but if you don't know what you're doing, right, yeah,
you don't have But do you you night back up
for steph?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
You think that and you would whether it was academically
yet at a curiosity you had seen a female reproductive
organ prior to getting married.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Do you.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yes? But don't you not an orthodox?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Do the the neither of my ultra altra orthodox? But no.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
But what I'm saying is, do you think even if
you strip away all academia, and you strip away all
porn or magazines or conversations, that you wouldn't be able
to walk into a room and like you still know
it's their private part, so you know what area you're
dealing with.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
You don't think you would know what to do. I
think you would, I really do.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I don't think that's a safe bet. Really, there's just
so much pressure.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah, I'm not saying it's gonna be good. You may
you may get a thigh pregnant. Like no, I'm serious,
Like I would, I would, I would explode. But I
but I think from knowledge of what you're supposed to do,
I don't think it's hard to figure that out.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
But if you maybe think it needs why do I
have this hole in the sheet, but it needs to
to begin with obviously some sort of lead up. Again,
the timers going, I don't know the Hebrew word. What
is the intimacy room called?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Isn't it the fantasy suite? These malca malca?
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
What is what is the intimacy suite called for?
Speaker 3 (11:57):
For Jews?
Speaker 5 (11:59):
I don't know, but you could probably google it.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
The probably.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Because some people stand guard waiting for you, you're the elders.
That sounds really inviting for the first time.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
And then they yeah, and then they check the sheets.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
The I have this, I have the name of it.
Shall I spell it first?
Speaker 3 (12:26):
No? They said, no, no.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
No, But so back up a step there is so
so you you you have the ceremony and you you
get married, but then you do kind of usher off
side stage, if you will, to what what is what
is the what is the traditional word to not not
not not commemorate, consummate, consummate the wedding. Right, so you
(12:51):
you go to the you go to the fantasy suite,
and then you consummate the wedding and then you come
back out and you're ready to go.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Like now it's now, get me in a chair. We're partying.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Is that because in the Jewish faith, consummation is a
big part of like the un Yes.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yes, absolutely, it's signing the katuba, thank you. It's signing
the katuba and then the obviously the ceremony. Now at
an Orthodox wedding there are hours and hours between the two.
But it is signing the katuba, which is the marriage contract,
and then there's the ceremony. But the consummation is the
(13:29):
like that's planting the flag in it, so to speak.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
All right, Diane, Oh, this is the intimacy room. Yes,
go ahead.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Uh they call it the yehud room.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
I'm sorry, y hoot?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Why I c h u d d yha.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Malka, how would you how would you pronounce.
Speaker 5 (13:53):
That your hud not bad?
Speaker 3 (13:57):
Yeah? No, no, that's very good, that's very good. And
the now, have you ever Malca, have you ever been
in a yehood?
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
I haven't either, Like, I don't know that you could
tour a synagogue, like an Orthodox synagogue and get a
tour of the yeh hood?
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Could you doubt that?
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Could you imagine how nerve racking it is to go
into that room? That's what I'm saying. Yes, but also
but so exciting, so exciting.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I honestly do not believe. I can't say it enough.
They're scared, scared.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
I was scared the first time I had sex.
Speaker 5 (14:40):
Especially if they've never met each other.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Yeah, well, I mean that is that's a whole other level.
I don't know. Do you know the answer to that, Malka.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
What percentage of like your real Orthodox Jews have never
met each other prior to the wedding?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
I think that number.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I think historically that number would be high, but I
think in modern time that number has really really decreased.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
I totally agree with you.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeah, like so I don't I don't know what that
number is now. But yes, back in the day, it
would be like like my my Indian friends where a
lot of their marriages are arranged and they wouldn't have
met until their their their wedding night, and so they
would you wouldn't know.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
But but those numbers have gone down.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
And the communities are so small these days.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
That is true. That is true. I almost hope we
get invited to go to one.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
We have a better chance of winning a Peabody.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Do you think do you think when they go into
the intimacy room and like the the elders if you will,
that are standing guard, do you think there's a like
a lot of winks and smiles.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Like get after it?
Speaker 4 (15:58):
No, I out that.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
I think it's treated very seriously.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Oh yes, And what did they always say about two
virgins and a bed, Malka, get or done.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
That? I've never heard that. I have never heard that.
But I love it, Malka. I appreciate the phone call.
Thank you, ma'am.
Speaker 4 (16:21):
Thank you, You're very welcome.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
You got to talk to you later.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Is it possible, though, because we've all heard of the
I didn't know it was called they hood right, Well,
maybe we not all heard of that, Kristen, but the
intimacy room.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
I think most people have never heard of that.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
But if they're if you're following tradition, right, maybe you
have to stick to the script. Do we think me
in more modern times, but within still a more orthodox
slanted ceremony, maybe that room is used for a different
type of intimacy and not consummation like oral or just
(17:03):
kissing in general. How about just talking? Yeah, it's a
moment away. They actually say that for all faiths. It's
nice when the married couple can can walk away, you
get like ten fifteen minutes of three time to themselves. Sure, yeah, no,
what if that's but that's not what that room was
built for. I understand. But is it possible it's sort
(17:25):
of evolved for some people into that I hope not
just like you mentioned, And I don't want to compare
it to the fantasy suite, right, but you called it that.
But on the Bachelor Bacheorette sometimes they just chat in
those rooms.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Yeah, all don't talk with your mouth, they said.
Speaker 6 (17:43):
It's an important It's often seen as an important lesson
for marriage in general, because you shouldn't let the hustle
and bustle of life like what you're around you around you.
You also always have to have private time for each other.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
For sex or just connect. Yeah, I can connect for
the rest of my life.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
I've waited my whole life for a little I don't
know how you say it, but it's a spelled P
I T W.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
And that's what I'm in this room for. I'm here
to get a slice of men.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I didn't notice that Kristen had posted. Kristen writes, Wait,
the boom boom room is inside the church. I feel
like there's a couple of things that tackle in that.
Speaker 7 (18:31):
It is.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
It is part of it's it's not a church, it's
a synagogueace.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
But yes, it is. It is. It is part of
an Orthodox synagogue.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Her look at her face says, I'd prefer to call
it a church, right.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
The also, the hot tub that's part of the church
is also part of the synagogue.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
That is a mikvah. Clean it, clean it, oh, Chris,
and I'll explain it to you later. There's a there's.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Usually a pool outside for the real Orthodox women, so
they can't go in if they're OTR, so they would
get into the mikfa to clean up their couter. I
hope that I'm explaining it. I hope Orthodox Jews aren't
mad man. I'm explaining it on a on a wider scope.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Well, what hasn't called in yet?
Speaker 3 (19:25):
The Oh, no, I got one is line one? He's Orthodox?
Speaker 4 (19:28):
Hi Ellie in the morning, Hey morning, Hey, how are
you sir? Great? How are you Elliott?
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Good? You're you're an Orthodox Jew? I am excellent, excellent?
Speaker 5 (19:38):
Have I have?
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Have we been off on a lot of things?
Speaker 4 (19:41):
Or no, you've been close. I think the closest you
got with they had saying you should and that was
pretty close. But everything else has been somewhat off, but
somewhat close.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Right, but somewhat close right. So the the the the
fantasy suite is at the synagogue, right.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
It's wherever the wedding is. It wasn't not much of
a fantasy suite. I think Tyler was pretty close to it.
It's not. I mean, you have to think about it.
At a wedding, it's the middle of the wedding. You're
all dressed up, makeup, dresses, suits, whatever it is. You
can't get undressed in that room and then get redressed
to come back out.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Oh you ain't got a zipper on your pants?
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Do you have any idea, how much how hard it
to get a wedding dress off, pull it off, so
you can't and you don't really have that much time
to do that as well, because oftentimes pictures are done
at that right after that as well, because the husband
and wife, well I have not seen each other oftentimes beforehand.
And on top of that, oftentimes the husband and wife
(20:37):
are fasting before that moment, the whole day, right, so
they're eating in that room, So it's really now they
are I'm sorry, yeah, no, no, you're good. It's it's
really just like to get away, like you're like you're
all saying. However, it's not just to share a moment.
(20:57):
It's really because according to Jewish in the more orthodox sections,
you really can't be alone with each other at ball.
So it's almost sort of like the first part of
that marriage part where you can actually be alone as
a husband and wife, but you're not you're not having sex.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
But back in the day, was it to consummate the marriage.
Speaker 4 (21:17):
I don't think so. I don't think so. It's really
because it's the first time that you can be alone
that's a big deal. Like normally they're completely separate, So
it's it's really the first part of that you can
be all as a big thing where people can't be
alone with your teen you can't be alone with other men,
you can't be alone with a woman in a room,
in a car, you just can't be alone with the
opposite sex. So this is really the first time that
(21:38):
you can be alone. And it was never I've never,
I've never known it to be like that for all
the weddings I've been to, in all the siblings and
friends and cousins that I've been to, that's never been
the case. So really, yeah, yeah, Well, like you were
all saying, it's it's pretty intimidating. Like if you've been
separated your whole life and you know nothing about the
opposite gender in terms of how to interact with them,
(22:00):
it's pretty to me to be alone the first time.
So usually like exchange gifts, like the groom's parents will
buy the wife the pair of earrings or a necklace,
and the guy will get a watch or whatever it is.
They'll have the have something to eat, and they'll be
done in like five ten minutes, and that's it.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
That's a kind of a letdown, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
Well for you, Yeah, but match is someone who hasn't
been alone, right, so it's like, oh my gosh, we're alone.
This is great. And then you gotta bum back out
and then the whole wedding party happens, right, because the
ceremony beforehand, right, you go to the code room, and
then the party happens after that, and then it gets
pretty crazy.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
So right, that is lengthy. That is a lengthy day.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Yeah. Yeah, I mean for like the Startic the Middle
Eastern Jews, that thing goes on to like three o'clock
in the morning, two o'clock in the morning. It just
keeps going. So it's a crazy party.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Have you been to a lot of Orthodox weddings?
Speaker 4 (22:53):
Yeah, I mean, I'm five siblings in my family. We
have I don't know how many cousins I've been to already,
you know, in my forties have been to the least
it's at least close to fifty I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Wowow wow, that is all. That is a ton That
is a ton. Hey, and we're did in obviously you're
you're very orthodox? Is the in all in you and
your siblings' weddings? Did you not spend I mean it's
twenty twenty five and I'm not saying that you you
you don't follow your your faith, right, but but.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Is it still as is it still as strict where.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
You and your wife had never spent any time together
privately prior to the wedding night.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
That was a little a black sheet of my family.
But so I explains while you're listening, the long time listener,
So yes, yes we've been. We didn't follow those rules,
and no one in my family was arranged marriages. But
like my sister got engaged and married within a three
month time period, right, and they didn't date. I have
(23:55):
like a few days beforehand, so it wasn't like you know,
they were They dated five six times, engaged, got married
three months later. So and they had they weren't allowed
to be alone in non public places.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Yeah right, so at home they could be. They could
be together.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Once they're married, but not like if the last one
is in the room with them. They weren't really alone beforehand.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Wow, God, that's crazy. Did they did they just sit
there and talk? Do you know what a letdown that
would be?
Speaker 4 (24:22):
I had amazing dates. They had amazing dates before and
it was all public. They were in New York over
they went to like no, I meant.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
The yude.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
You could, I would walk in, I'd be so upset me, like, seriously,
we're not doing anything.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
We've been not doing anything for months.
Speaker 4 (24:40):
There's so much time like after like that evening where
you can have that experience and that I mean, it's funny.
For me, that experience is more fun. I think the elders,
I wouldn't say really watched the door. It was really
like a friend of with my cousin's wedding, like his
best friends got like super soakers and guarded the door
for them to be That's fun, you know, it's fun.
(25:01):
I don't think it's not as serious in the modern
Orthodox areas and the ultra Orthodox areas. It's it's swept away.
But I don't think it's really just a formality. Someone's
guarding the door to show like that they are alone.
It's not like someone's really going there to check on
them or whatever it is. But it's you know, for
for the people, for my cousins that are in an
ultra Orthodox section, I think it's it's intimidating to be
(25:22):
alone in that in that moment, it's the first time
you're alone with the opposite gender. I mean, that's a
big deal if you think about it, like through puberty
and everything, and you're finally alone with us, with this
other d you have no idea anything about that person.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I would have such nervous breath, like Ted Elliott, have
you been eating? Get filter fish?
Speaker 4 (25:38):
So I'm just very nervous, very Nervousagine when they go
home that night and they have to consummate, and sometimes
people can actually consummate because it's so intimidating, too nervous.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
But consummating. For Jews, the consummation part is a very
very important part.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Of the wedding, huge, huge part, huge part after the
like right after the wedding, and.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
I'd be tuning in Tokyo. I'd be like, I've dreamt
that my whole life.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
Each each each groom and bride before they get married.
In the Orthodox sections, especially the Ultra Orthox sessions, they
have classes they have to go to with their rabbi
and with some other not rabbi but a woman that
could teach them about what's supposed to happen that night
because they don't.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Know, Oh, what's that old joke? What is that old joke? No? No, no, no, no,
what's that old joke. No the and I won't do
it with the Jewish accent. But isn't isn't No, isn't
the old joke.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Take the biggest thing you have and put it where
she peas and the guy takes his shoe and throws
it in the toilet.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
Come on, that's an old joke. That's a goodie.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
That's that's to break the ice. That's to break the
ice a little bit exactly.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
I mean there's a lot there's a lot of a
lot of lubricant that people use to break the ice.
I guess you can say stuff.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Yeah, there you go. That's a good thing.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
That's a good you learned that. That's the first thing
they learned, like lots.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
That's where they learned about We call this the haktua.
All right, yes, sir, yes.
Speaker 4 (27:18):
Sir today point in bio. Growing up, like in ninth grade,
I remember they we weren't allowed to learn the reproductive
part of science. We just have to fail that part
of the regent. So like we just didn't learn it.
I was in New York, so we had to stand
there I teach, So we don't we didn't actually learn that.
I mean we find the ways to learn it as
as boys. I guess you figured it out, but like
at least in my class, but we weren't allowed to
(27:39):
have that part. We weren't allowed to read certain books
that were required. Because of that, we were had certain
sections like just skipped over.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
So we so, like you said, like the regents, which
are kind of like so ols or stuffing. What what
is the know? What are the standards?
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Yeah, like those tasks, so they're called regents in New York.
You would have to fail that part because you couldn't
be a part of it.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
Well, we just had to just do better with other parts. Wow, Yeah,
because I mean most people will figure out they're looking
at They know what a penis looks like, right, so
they'll figure out what that part is called. But the
other parts, like if you're looking opposite gender, you just
wouldn't know because we just didn't learn them.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
You didn't know what a cooter was.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
I don't think that was a term on the.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
All right, my friend, I appreciate it, Thank you, sir,
Very educational, very good, Thank you.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
That was awesome
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