EITM: Gossip Twirl 5/29/24

Spinning your way out of the rumor mill.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Somebody sent this to me from yesterdaygoing back to yesterday. Was this the
uh you used the K word earlier, Karen. Yes. Karen said that
she felt that some people seemed uncomfortablein the studio and even outside the studio.
They really just highlighted Tyler. Butof my discussion of the NDAs that

(00:27):
some of the some of the peopleat the company were signing to have this
discussion about. And again I wasn'tpart of the meetings. I didn't sign
an m DA. I was justgiven information and that this is all going
to lead towards massive layoffs in thecompany is based on some of the technology

(00:50):
that has been and continues to bedeveloped and implemented. It wasn't just me
yesterday, it was Dustin, itwas Cruz right. Well yeah, but
they they sounded more Yes, theywere they didn't know anything about it,
and then they seem surprised. Althoughat one point yesterday Dustin was like,
oh, well, if they cando it, to do these two like

(01:11):
one or two things like that wouldbe great. It would free me up.
Well, I said two things tothem. Number one, free you
up, and you have more timethan you know what to do with now.
If anything. Program directors have beensold the most on this software as
making their lives easier. Oh,it's gonna make their lives much easier because
they talk about it. They arenot going to have to work okay.

(01:34):
Oh they are limited mark my words, meaning elevating the jobs. Not again
mark my words. Karen said theoh no, no, but that that
will be there'll be too, mayWell, there'll be a lot of major
cuts that come out of what they'rewhat they're working on. But program directors
are above. But that's what Isaid to Dustin. He was like,
oh, if they could do thispart of my job. I was like,
dude, it ain't a la carte. It's not like they're going to

(01:57):
go, oh, choose which featureyou would like them to They're going to
use all of the features and theyare going to s can a bunch of
you, okay, and that's why. And he's like, well, I'll
have to ask and I was like, well, don't ask that one.
I know they signed an NDA.So then he was like, do you
know who signed him? And Isaid, I know a couple of people
who did, but I don't knoweverybody. But that was at that meeting.

(02:19):
And then Cruz was concerned, rightfullyso, but then Karen sends over
this thing how to shut down gossipat work? Now, I will argue
this and it just goes on.It talks about somebody who says, I

(02:40):
like my job and my coworkers,but there's something that keeps bugging me.
There's a real culture of gossiping,and I keep getting sucked into it.
I used to be a huge gossipermyself, had a previous job. But
then once I found out that Iwas the target of some of the gossiping,
I changed my tone. What amI supposed to do when the gossiping

(03:01):
start starts? Whatever? First ofall, find me one person that doesn't
like office gossip. But when itleads to anxiety and wrecking your day or
maybe others, I reckon anybody,Oh was that fun? Did you remove
yourself from it? Well? I'mjust sort of like put blinders on and

(03:23):
just not not interact, not payattention to it. No, no,
no, no, because they'll tellyou that's when people start gossiping about you.
Now, the no no, no. You know what they you know,
what they say is the best thingto do. We're the best thing.
Okay, we're starting off at thebest thing, Well, why would
you want to go to the notthe best? I didn't know if there

(03:44):
was stuff that was maybe a littlemore subtle. If you're saying it's the
best thing, it's going to completelyshut it down. I would assume one
hundred percent of the time. Nowthey do say anyway it says. At
a previous job, I was thetarget of some untrue and hurtful gossip,
and since then I've really tried toreform my own habits. At the same
time, I'm aware that completely optingout of office gossip means I could miss

(04:09):
out on important information that might behelpful for me to know. Like,
for example, if I were Cruisein Dustin, I would want to know.
Okay, I mean I can sortof understand that, but at the
same time, definitely going to betheir futures. You want to use this

(04:32):
pen to write it in right withyour other hands, so we don't recognize
her. Now, listen, doI know if cruz and and Dustin are
on the list? No, Idon't know that. We know that we're
on the list in this meeting.So you have to take with the good
with the bad. Thank you.You could be missing out on great information
and listen. I love off officegossip. I will sprint a hallway I

(04:57):
have gossip, of course, butI'm will also sprint to the other end
of the hall to get gossip.I love all this gossip. I live
for. It is my it isit's the it is the blood that fuels
me. I would say, youalso said hate the other week. What
that hate wakes you up in themorning? Oh, that is true.
Hate nudges me and gets me goingto get out. By the way,

(05:19):
who's sub is it you? Somebody? I could like? Is somebody?
Is somebody's stomach a little off rightnow? Is that you? Because somebody
sounds very dry mouth to me.I don't think so. Oh it sounds
like somebody but will but my whywould your stomach? No? Like,
are you nervous right now? Well? Yeah, just the tips please the

(05:42):
How do I shut down gossip whenpeople try to share it with me without
harming my relationship with those colleagues?Is it even possible? Now I have
an answer? Uh, get inthe pool? Or do I just need
to get over it? And exceptthat some amount of gossip will always be

(06:02):
normal in the workplace. A tremendous. Show me in office where there's no
gossip, and I'll show you aperson who works by themselves. Okay,
well, then let us know howwe can mitigate. Well, here's the
response to Karen. Your right tobe wary of participating too much in office
gossip. You're also right to bethinking about the ways that some amount of

(06:27):
being in the know can benefit youprofessionally. Those two things can be tough
to balance, but it can bedone. Gossiping at work is one of
those things that can give you athrill in the moment, the pleasure of
knowing something that isn't public, thelure of unflattering information. But there can

(06:48):
be a hangover afterwards when you feelguilty and have to wonder if whoever gossip
to you might also be gossiping aboutyou. Now that does bother me?
I believe I would. I wouldbe willing to accept. I don't believe

(07:08):
there is, but I would bewilling to accept if somebody said, hey,
there's gossip going around about you.First of all, whatever number two,
it's probably not true. I wouldknow it. But what is it
like? Diane, Let me askyou this, because you love gossip,
sure, Diane, you love.I have gossip, Yes, Now,

(07:33):
Diane doesn't like to spread the gossipunless it's with us. Do you think
there's gossip about you in the building. I don't think so. I think
I fly under the radar too much. That's an unfair view. There may
be a reputation that people have decidedon for you. Oh, but you

(07:55):
can't change that. But I mean, that's that's turn that's turn in.
That's turning in an aircraft carrier.Okay, because you have big feet.
No, no, But if there'san opinion of Diane, it it would
take a lot to change that.Yeah, because she would come off as
phony if she was to engage withthe fellow employe. So what I do

(08:20):
you think there's gossip about you?Oh? Yeah, it's very similar to
the reputation we just discussed. ButI think people don't mind it. It's
like, Okay, at least wecan respect that he's working and getting the
job done and not wasting the day. I would bet that you're made fun

(08:41):
of for that. Look at thatguy work in Do you know how many
people slough off their the majority oftheir days here? No, I understand
that, and so several of theirnames have already been brought up. I'm
so sure there may be people thatfind it foolish, but hopefully it is
respected by those that matter. Ohyeah, I'll give you that. Yes,

(09:05):
but I don't know if there's Idon't know if there's any good gossip
floating around about me. I wouldsay no, he's the guy that knows
about the NDAs. I found allthe suggestions. Are you going to get
to them? Oh? Go ahead, No, go ahead, Oh ahead.
They've actually got a lot of waysto approach this. Go ahead,
So you start talking to me aboutthe NDAs. My first manner of attacking

(09:28):
is going it says, uh,directly explain that you're trying to cut down
on gossiping. Okay, I willbe reading for some of this back and
forth. This play we're about toact out, okay. Okay, and
Diane, you can be involved too. I know acting is not your strong
suit. I'm not off book yet, but the two of you try to

(09:52):
have a natural conversation involved me aboutthe NDA. Let's go. Hey,
so they all were brought to NewYork consigned NDA. No, I feel
unkind talking about this. We shouldprobably give that New York crew privacy on
this. I don't think they'd wantus talking about it. Okay, go

(10:16):
to hell, Diane's face. I'mfeeling unkind. It sounds like something we
don't have all the info on andshould probably just stay out of. Guys,
stop you guys. That's one.That's one way, right, No,

(10:37):
that's horrible. Could you imagine didn'tyou go through a period in here
where you were like, I don'twant to be involved in the gossip and
I was like, okay, leavethe studio. You weren't happy with that?
Yeah? Yeah. Also, Idon't think it's gossip. If it's
fact, it ain't gossip. Ifit's leaked out still sort of is yeah,

(11:03):
No, it's not gossip. Yeah, anything gossip, anything juicy is
gossip. No, But isn't gossipwhere it's like rumor mirror and not fact.
I think both to me. Iknow people went to New York and
signed NDA's about about the future andfirings. I know that is fact.
That ain't gossip. That's fact.You know what that would be like me

(11:26):
saying, hey, the speed limitis fifty five? Oh? Is that
rumor's fact? So if that doesn'twork, it says you can make it
more personal. Oh hey, Elliott, can we not talk know about about
yourself? Right? And so pickup where you told me to go to
hell? Hey, go to hell. It's just I'm trying to be better

(11:48):
about not gossiping. I've realized howharmful it can be, and I don't
want people gossiping about me, soI'm trying to be more disciplined about it.
Oh look, you're speechless. Saythat's out of your control. You
can't just because somebody's going to golike, hey, you know, don't

(12:09):
say anything about Tyler because he's reallycurbed it. People are gonna do what
they're gonna do, whether or notyou are reeling it in. Okay,
then I right now am supposed totry a subject change. Okay, So
just keep talking about the ideas.And then he thinks no one's going to

(12:30):
talk about it. Everybody's talking aboutit. They all signed NBA's Hmm.
That sounds tough. Hey, whileyou're here, can we talk about those
revenue reports? Yeah? Oh,you know where they're going to save a
lot of revenue when they start firingeverybody. Durstic change of subjects. That's
exactly what it says. It saysimmediate subject change. Hey, how about
those Mavericks still in it? Okay, then it says, go back to

(12:56):
you personally, go back to yourprevious job. That sounds like something I'm
probably not supposed to know. No, no, no, none of us.
That's why they signed NDA. Dummy, do you even know what an
NDA is? Oh? How aboutthose expensions? What did they tell you
to make odd sounds squeez? Ohoh sounds like you could right now.

(13:20):
Oh I think those are actually intendedto be kept confidential. Oh god,
so I don't think we should betalking about it. Oh god. It
says that's useful whether it's work relatedor not. He police. I feel
like Biden and the telephond hop inthe ambulance. I'm not sure which part

(13:41):
to read. I can't tell whatis my line and what is a note
looks to the families? Oh oh, if it's work related and you believe
the confidentiality is against your coworker's interests, you have, you'll let you'd have.
There's ethical obligations at this point.Oh my god, if you work
for the most unethical company in theworld. Okay, what about Blood Diamonds.

(14:05):
The fair point, at least theymake money. Hey, what about
sheen? That's a good subject.Change though, Hey what about blood diamonds?
Huh okay, let me write thatin. I'll put that under revenue

(14:28):
reports. Ooh what about blood diamonds? All right? All right, so
this if you feel like then theconversation involves a little more bad mouthing than
you're comfortable with. It's good topush back with something positive, just as
you'd probably want someone to do ifyou were the one being talked about.

(14:52):
Hey, she's a good dancer.Am I right? You're close? You're
close. Okay, Now say thatit's probably Dustin who is going to get
fired because of the That's most likelyDustin who will end up getting fired.
Really, I've always found Dustin,not Jane, Dustin to be really easy
to work with. I mean,his content's fun or smart or great at

(15:13):
his job or whatever your experience youhave to go. Good hair. I
really like how he's changed from takingselfies to have some somebody to take pictures
for him. Good look. Thinkabout counteracting the gossip call. Did you
guys go to his dog's birthday party? With good gossip? Positive? He's

(15:37):
a dog lover that you wouldn't mindgetting back to the person. You're He's
going to have a lot of timeto spend with that dog. Don't want
that comment getting back to him,like how much you enjoy working with them,
or how much a client raved abouta project they did over time.
Making a point of sharing sincere positivecommon, it's can have a real impact

(16:00):
on the culture, or at leastthe culture in your immediate vicinity. You're
not here, Well you shut usdown, didn't you? Oh my god,
how many excuses. Let's just gotalk over there. This guy sucks?

(16:21):
Who sent that to you? Karen? I guess you don't can keep
them anonymous if you have ethical obligationsto do so, are you? You
know what? I'm not really comfortablein sharing that. They probably wasn't meant
to be public. Sounds like he'sthe pussy. Okay, there are only
a few sounds that they suggested makingoho and queen and oof oo, truggy

(16:48):
that was pretty good. No,it's not every one of those. Get
your ass kicked. But sometimes whenyou work through scenarios like that, whether
it's watching them and training or seeingthem performed in front of you, they're
kind of like laughed at or madefun of. Mocked. Yeah, a
ridiculed. Like we got through that, and it was, as Diane pointed
out, successful right, you know, she was acting there. I was

(17:15):
in a loss for words. HiElliott the morning. Yeah, Hi,
who's this? This is Chris.Hey, what's going on? Doing great?
What's going on? Dude? Oh? Not much of you know.
I found when people popped behind myback, you know, I appreciate it,

(17:36):
you know, because it makes meknow that they're thinking about me and
it must be important. Oh,you know what. I like that thing.
It's a good opportunity to say you'reso obsessed with man. Oh,
I guess I'm living. Yeah,you know what. And I think that's
a little bit thank you, sir. I think that's a little bit different.

(17:57):
That's why I don't think that.I don't think. I don't think
I'm the subject of a lot ofgossip. I do think I'm the subject
of a lot of hate. ButI don't think I'm the subject of a
lot of I mean other than somebodygoing god, I hate him, I
know. Ahole, that's it.And that doesn't, even by your definitions,
sound like gossip. No, it'sfact. Actually, yeah, it's
fact. I think I should pretendnot to know that even that one.

(18:25):
I mean they are suggesting that,but that one maybe would be ridiculed.
But I'm trying to think in theoffice, has there ever been like,
has there ever been really like badgossip about you or just in general?
No, I mean yeah, yeah, there's definitely been some nasty, nasty

(18:52):
stuff that hasn't been true. No, because if it's fact, it is
not gossip to me. That's mydividing line. In fact, I don't
think I gossip at all. Ohmy god, you're the worst. Wait
hold on, hold on, whatare you doing? No, he's trying
to do you have such famous storiesthat you have about Please please Tom,

(19:15):
And I would like if you don'tdescribe the motion I just made. But
you've definitely made people quit. Andthat's what was it. Over fact?
Stop But what he did this motionto describe someone and I don't know who

(19:37):
that is, Diane now playing therole of swear to God, I have
no idea what that means. Idon't subscribed it. And I asked you
not to describe. You described shakingthat could be anything that can be or
like you had a stroke. They'rebeing people in this office who have had

(19:57):
strokes. Are you've never recovered?Can I ask you this? Are you
talking about that? Ha? No? But that certainly was talked about,
right and not gossip fact, that'sfact. Though you were relying on the
word of one employee. That's goodenough, very very believable. I don't

(20:19):
know what this is, but nowwe're going to get into an area of
this that becomes so cryptic it's noteven worth disgusting, right, But that's
why if I say it and I'mfeeling really uncomfortable something, you you don't
have all the info and you shouldprobably stay out of