Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Somebody sent me something yesterday. Diane read that headline.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Teens are foregoing a classic rite of passage. Here are
young people are going or getting into relationships?
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Yeah, so they went back and they did this. Yeah right,
I just held.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
It up to the second line. Ty, Yeah, it.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Was and faint.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
But they were saying that there's not and it's it's
two part right. There are plenty of people that have
zero desire, zero desire to have any relationship at all.
Doesn't mean that they're not interested where they don't want
to like go out with someone, hook up with someone,
(00:48):
but they just don't want to be in a relationship.
But you know who, you know? You know why they
they don't say that out loud. Why is that because
they get mocked? But how if the numbers are growing,
are they in the majority? I don't know that they're
in the majority, but they're definitely growing.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
So is this all related to like, but they said
the number of people listen, I'll apologize, there's fried Rice
here and I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
No, but they were saying the number of people that
have gone through high school and college without ever having
a boyfriend or girlfriend is definitely on the upswing, definitely
on the ups.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Because it's like hookup culture and.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Not even again, it's not even really so much hookup culture.
I mean, does that go on? Yeah, and they're saying
that's okay, But that stigma of you have to have
your first teen romance doesn't exist as much anymore.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Like going steady. No, no, that sounds like an old
person term. But yeah, is that what you mean? Yes? Yes,
and that is it's forever portrayed in cinema and television.
They use the term rom com as being a major
part of high school of middle school. Yeah, and it is. Oh,
(02:10):
you're telling me it's not, well, it's growing that it's not.
Can you give us some numbers? Yeah, hold on, let
me bite it on.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I love fried rice, I really do. Don't think I'm
going to pass on the dumplings though.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Uh making those fresh for your out Yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
That's why I'm holding myself over with the fried rice.
Here we go. Fifty per six percent of what What
What is gen Z? Fifty six percent of gen Z
adults say they've been in a road lit said they've
been in a romantic relationship at any point in their
teen years, compared to seventy six percent of gen xers
(02:50):
and seventy eight percent of baby boomers.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
So it started going down.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Gen z is. Between ninety seven and twenty twelve.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
A long running poll of three thousand Americans found that
fifty four percent of participants aged eighteen to thirty four,
So fifty four percent reported not having a steady partner.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Okay, so that drop off, like you said, twenty years
ago that number was only thirty three. Yeah, these are
massive changes and shifts in society.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
I kind of like it. There's a lot of pressure
that comes with that quote unquote right of passage. Yes,
and you feel like you have to do it even
if you're not ready for it as an individual emotionally
or even in your your your sexual development and I
don't mean actual like parts, but it's just doing it well.
(03:45):
Having sexual maturity, Yeah, just where you are in terms
of what that means, like want it.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
No, if you're mentally ready for it, as most people
are not.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Well, but not even I'm not talking about ready for
it like boob, I'm saying ready to wait.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Are you talking about having them or touching them?
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Neither? Sexual maturity doesn't have to be contact, it can
just be Yeah, it does the attraction. It may not
be a part of your life yet.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
I still ont touch boots, but.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
There's definitely you don't remember at some point in your
life there being a demarcation line between having no interest
in the opposite and having interest in a partner.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
I don't remember there being a moment in time like
I don't remember being like, well, that's funny. Yesterday I
didn't even care about Vanessa Ardol.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
And today now that's all you think about it.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I wanted you were, but.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Like bubblegum, like there wasn't a there wasn't a dividing
line for you.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Really weren't like just hanging out with your guy friends
and then suddenly you were hanging out with everybody.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
I mean, I think the first time that happened was
when we all went to Regina CON's.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
House where elementary school I mixed elementary school Jesus Christ.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
An ol Paso El Paso was getting a lot of
play today. I just think that there's a I remember
being horny at Regina CON's house and Regina we were
probably in fifth grade, and Regina Con would only date
older guys, so I knew I was out.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
But remember that's when I kissed Marcy Callahan. She had
a big, sweaty upper lip.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
But as much as you'd love to claim it, you're
not gen Z. No, no, no, And so you've read
the numbers. It was like an over twenty percent drop
off from those that had dated in their teen years
or just you didn't even say date, it said like
romantic relationship, right.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah, yeah, had teen romance, got after it.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
That's really interesting, And I think it's important to hear,
not only as a teen, but as a parent, to
be aware of the trend that it's growing, because I
will have heard things from friends of mine who have
older children and they'll say things like they have no
(06:22):
interest in dating whatsoever. And as someone who's also not
gen Z, I'm not concerned by that, but I'm just like, oh, okay,
well that's interesting. That just wasn't my experience in high school.
We thought we had to date, like it was a
part of growing up boo. So I like that you're
(06:43):
seeing and you're right, it wasn't. A majority was close,
like forty four percent of those hadn't had a romantic relationship.
That should make you feel more comfortable if you're not
choosing to date anybody in high school.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
But they say that number goes up to like not
dating somebody in college or college age.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Well, what did you say for that?
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Oh, that number is growing also, like they get up
to like twenty six years old. By twenty six and
you're like, well, what.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Is your he just do something. He's shaking motion in
my chair. No, I'm not saying you got to, but
you want to, that says some research even suggests you
might be better off without ever having had a romantic
relationship in terms in terms of your maturity into a
healthy adult.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Wrong, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Some relationships are pretty damn toxic.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
The Yeah, but you learn from that, do you?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Not always okay? And it can leave but not not.
It can leaves wounds that are really hard to heal.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Well, burn your hand on a flame, you won't.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Touch it again. The analyticist, I forgot my backpack was
but I actually didn't know.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
But you have to fall down, Yeah, and you hope
you learn from that.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeah, sometimes you have to fall down twice.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Yeah, you can experience so much without being in a
defined relationship. You can still still Yes, you can hook up,
you can still kiss, you can still dance, you can
have a crush so big it takes up all the
space in your brain. You can care about someone deeply
and you can still get hurt. Yes, plenty of young
(08:35):
people then could be having transformative romantic encounters and still
reporting that they've never been in a relationship. So that's
interesting from your developments standpoint. Yeah, this is a developmental
psychologist at Arizona State. It could be the label, not
(08:56):
the emotional reality that's changing. So do kids.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
So I can have a girlfriend without having a girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
But or is it the word dated or dating? Like?
Is that word not used anymore? Is that? Is that
not sligh?
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Like?
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I don't know. Sometimes I say stuff and my kids
tell me it makes me sound old. But has the
D word become one of those what dating? Are dating? Anybody?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
You know?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I don't know the answer to that.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Like my older one has been.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
With a girl for years. She's awesome, she's great.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Years high school? Right, yeah, yea?
Speaker 3 (09:38):
But have they ever talked about the D word?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
I don't even want to say at him he would
say they're dating?
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Would he he would say I have a girlfriend?
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Or would he be like? Would he be so cool?
And I would even know what he was talking? About
and he'd be like, yeah, we see each other.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
The no no, no, he would say like if you said,
do you have a girlfriend, he'd say, yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
My younger one hasn't.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Never has I think that there was like he had
he had a he had a girlfriend for a moment.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
But he's gone out with with with with with girls.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
But I wouldn't say he said he's dating, but like
he just had to go to something in at Miami
and he brought a girl.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
But they're not like a formal type situation like that.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
I don't know what it was.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
That's jackie the.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
What do you want to get involved?
Speaker 3 (10:31):
No, but he brought a girl, but they're not dating
because he's got riz or has dating has the definition
of dating change. It's not that the word is, oh,
that's a good quality. Dated is my definition?
Speaker 4 (10:49):
What see, you're the problem, Not that I don't mean
the problem because you criticize people for whatever choices they're
making in that realm.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
No, because those are people that want but don't pursue.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Like even when I was in high school, I was
I was aware of the term going steady, but that
wasn't used anymore. Yeah, right, so it has dating become
this generation's going steady?
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Or are we used to just going together going together? Yeah,
you didn't say going steady, it was going together. Yeah,
but that sounds older than dating. It's not not going steady.
They used to talk about that crop in the fifties
going steady.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Network been to Lawrence Wilke, going steady. Nobody does that.
But I'm saying, is that what are you getting with dating?
Going doing is different than getting with So you're just
saying the term what is the term for dating now?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
A slice of.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Man, that's hooken up? Yeah, I don't know what the
term for dating is now. So do you think listen,
you guys have had high schoolers. I don't have high
schooling until next year. Do you think that it is
the labels have changed or it actually the activity has
(12:06):
totally changed.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
The activity has changed.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Yeah, so you're anti the Arizona State psychologist, what is that?
What was her stance that was that the labels have changed? There,
I think they're bringing the question differently than maybe an
older generation would.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
No, because you still know, you call it whatever you want.
You still know if if somebody is your girlfriend or boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Yeah, well, now you told me that technically, I never
established exclusivity with Lindsay, so I'm in an open relationship. No,
but you know that Lindsay's your girlfriend. I courted her. Yes,
even well that sounds that sounds.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
That's even older than going steady.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Well, I'm trying to go forward. Going forward? Is that
everything changes? It more means the same.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Oh there's a damsel the no. No, so I don't
know what the name is. But yeah, they're still together,
trying to get I mean, that's it. At the end
of the day, they are. Where am I going?
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I don't think necessarily what you're reading is talking about intercourse.
It's just dating. I can't even say it anymore. The
sound like a gra is it it?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Dating? Isn't that what it is?
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Yeah, Kristin, you're old like us for this discussion. You
can't sort of offer up opinions. When's the last time
when like your high school? By the way, which high
school in Ashland is turning into a gas station? Did
you see that they're taking Osbourne or is that elementary school? Oh?
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Okay, they're turning it into a gas station.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
This school? Yes, you know they've they've knocked the school down. Yeah,
well they don't care about the education.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
There they've learned enough.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
They don't care about education skivity. Where am I going
line to? So you think dating has no? You're dating?
Speaker 3 (13:56):
No, I'm reading this. I don't know this. No, but
I'm saying you're wondering if the term changed, it's still dating.
How confident are you? I don't know every dating apps?
Are you Vegas? Confident? Yeah? But they don't talk like
that in school. It's all slang, the yeah, yesser, I'm sorry,
(14:19):
yes hi?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Who is this?
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Hello? Hello? Yes Hi?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
What can I do for you? Not in school? Where's peers?
Where's that kid?
Speaker 2 (14:30):
You need?
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Back? Close to it? He's blase? I'm sorry, Yes, go ahead,
ma'am or sir.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
I don't know who you are.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Hello, Hello.
Speaker 5 (14:43):
I just read a book called The Anxious Generation. It's
by an author I think his name is Jonathan Tate.
I don't know how to pronounce. But he basically addresses
all these issues with adolescents and kids that you're talking about,
and how uh, basically, the gist of it is, since
(15:05):
they have so much cell phone use and so much
exposure to everything that you can get on the you know,
all the porn and everything that been. Therefore they're not
interested in dating real people.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
You know what I wish I could know.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
I'll tell you why.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I wish I could wrap my arms around that, but
I can't. You should read it. No, no, because like
when I would like growing up, everybody listen, was porn
is readily available?
Speaker 3 (15:37):
No, of course not.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
But you still saw videos, and you still saw DVDs,
and you saw pictures, and somebody gave you playing cards
that had a bunch of titties on the back of them,
and so you saw that.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
But at the end of the by.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
The way, you still masturbated. And when all that was done,
you were like, oh my god, I want to touch
one of those statinitas for real.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
Yes, but I think nowadays they don't want to touch
it for real.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Yeah, I don't. They don't.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
They're afraid to ask anybody out. There's so much pressure
about like what if she doesn't say yes? What if
I ask her out and she doesn't do this? What
if she tells all her friends? It's this whole thing.
It's super scary. But I can tell you I have
a twenty one year old daughter. She's you know, I
would say, she's cute. Whatever you would you know, I
(16:27):
look at you guys all the time.
Speaker 6 (16:29):
She should be dating.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
She's not.
Speaker 5 (16:32):
She's not dating, and the boys aren't asking, and it's
it's all messed up.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
I'm telling you, why doesn't she ask.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
The day?
Speaker 5 (16:42):
I'm I'm sure she would ask. I don't you know.
I don't get into her business so much, but I
just think in general, of her ten friends, maybe one
or two have had a boyfriend, they're all like, so
had a boyfriend, even had a boyfriend there, it's all different.
(17:03):
The kids are not dating like they used to. And
I think you've talked about it before, like, uh, you know,
the rates of having sex are way down, and this
guy has proven. I mean, he's done tons of studies.
He's like, you know, written of several books that.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Why did you have your first boyfriend?
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Their testosterone and everything has been or whatever makes your
sex drive has been effected?
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Red bull? What is the what? Where did that get
your horning? Red Bull?
Speaker 3 (17:32):
And Zin's man gotta get you going?
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Hey?
Speaker 3 (17:34):
What is yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Right?
Speaker 5 (17:36):
Or drink or have a beer?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
A many?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
How old were you? How old were you when when
you had your first boyfriend?
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (17:46):
Sixteen fifteen?
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Yeah right?
Speaker 5 (17:48):
It was good yeah, I started liking boy I was
boy crazy by you know, ninth grade.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Yeah, Regina CON's house. But you only dated older guys? Hey,
what is that? Does it exactly?
Speaker 5 (18:03):
I only I only dated older guys.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
To be honest with me. Be honest with me, though.
Does it bother you at some level that your daughter
hasn't had a boyfriend?
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Now, I'm sort of.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
Used to it now, but I do think that, uh,
you know, people have different personalities. I'm super she's different
than me, like I'm super social and you know, like
the I love, love to go to parties and all that.
But and she's a little you know, smarter, different personality.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Different studios.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
That's fine, it's fine, But I.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
Do think it's the real thing across the board, Like
you were saying, I don't know what the percentages are,
but I got kids in high school coming out of
high school that haven't had sex. Is like twice as
much as when we were little?
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Is that crazy?
Speaker 1 (18:51):
All right?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Very good, Very good, Thank you, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I got a new term.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Oh here we go.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Katie says her daughter is talking to a boy.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
I've gotten a couple of d ms about that. Is
that you're talking to something that that is the dating.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
Oh do you know how quick I want to get
out of the talk to and the touch too.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
It doesn't it's not literally right.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
No, I understand that.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
So that is that is today.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
So if I were if I if I were dating,
and you guys were I'm single, and I came in
and we were like, hey, are you dating?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Anybody, be like no, I'm talking to it. So it's
just fifteen.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
You're giving a little information, but it's super vague, right, Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
No, I don't.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
I don't think you're talking to fifteen or twenty different people.
You don't know know they're saying. This is if they're
if you're in a relationship. If they refer to talking,
they're data, they're dating. Okay, that's fine, that's just the term.
It sounds sus to me, but that's what people are messaging.
(19:48):
Where am I going?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Lane six?
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Ellie in the morning?
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Ellie is.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
It's appeers?
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Oh? Here we go?
Speaker 6 (20:00):
There you go? Okay. So I am eighteen nineteen this year,
so I am on the middle side of gen Z.
I'm in the middle of the age.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Range, right.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So when it.
Speaker 6 (20:13):
Comes to dating, we grew up with movies and advertisements
that were directed towards those types of things, like think
about trying to think about things for my generation. But
I liked things that were older because I.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Had an older sister, right, so.
Speaker 6 (20:30):
She likes things like Twilight, So I learned those things.
There was a heavy dating thing and it was that
book was really it was written by a Mormon woman,
so it has different reviews. Well, oh my god, you
on that show.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
You even know this stuff? Hey, Pierce, let me ask
you this. Let me ask you this. Did you you're you're?
You said your sister's older than you, right, I'm guessing
like two two and a half years five? Okay, same thing.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
The did she did she come out of high school?
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Did she have a boyfriend in high school or a
girlfriend in high school?
Speaker 3 (21:04):
She had?
Speaker 6 (21:06):
She had several boyfriends in high school.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Did you come out of high school having ever had
a relationship?
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Doesn't matter to me, no, but I.
Speaker 6 (21:15):
Am going to quickly explain to you why. So in
about eighth grade is when COVID hit and from there
everything was social. That was when most of our development
needed to happen in high school, so we all went online,
so we only met people online. We dated people online,
and then we were shoved back into the personal world
and we didn't know how to make bonds anymore because
(21:36):
we were away for so long. That's what happened to me.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
This kid is like a million times smarter than me.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
It's the other male here.
Speaker 6 (21:48):
Hold on wait, I wrote your name down, hold on,
give me wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait
wait wait wait Tyler Tyler.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Right right, yeah, you got it. That's correct. So, but
what I'm asking next to your name, I have quiet guy,
and research are you suggesting that we're just reheating nachos?
Pretty much?
Speaker 6 (22:10):
Pretty much? And it happens throughout history. Things repeat over
and over again, and it's what's directed at us and
what we perceive and what we learn. Like I was
raised a southern kid. I live on a farm, but
I have more city values than I do country values
right off. So I've gotten out there.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
And I learned right, all right, I don't know that
you answered anything, but I'll take it. Hey, So, but
now that you're now that, now that you're not on
zoom anymore though, and now you're back out there, you
may be a little rusty on approaching, but there's still
the desire.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Yeah, there's still the desire.
Speaker 6 (22:48):
Yes, there's still the desire. But people don't understand anymore
that people are scared now. People don't have the balls
to be like, hey, this bothers me. Hey, we need
to have more communication in our relationship and that's why
relationships are failing. We're still young, we have time to
figure it out, and my generation needs to realize that.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Get it, per Sorry, all right, very good? No, no,
you're good. You're good, all right, Pierce, thank you, my friend,
Somebody sent me something yesterday. Diane read that headline.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Teens are foregoing a classic rite of passage. Here are
young people are going or getting into relationships?
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Yeah, so they went back and they did this. Yeah right,
I just held.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
It up to the second line. Ty, Yeah, it.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Was and faint.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
But they were saying that there's not and it's it's
two part right. There are plenty of people that have
zero desire, zero desire to have any relationship at all.
Doesn't mean that they're not interested where they don't want
to like go out with someone, hook up with someone,
(00:48):
but they just don't want to be in a relationship.
But you know who, you know? You know why they
they don't say that out loud. Why is that because
they get mocked? But how if the numbers are growing,
are they in the majority? I don't know that they're
in the majority, but they're definitely growing.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
So is this all related to like, but they said
the number of people listen, I'll apologize, there's fried Rice
here and I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
No, but they were saying the number of people that
have gone through high school and college without ever having
a boyfriend or girlfriend is definitely on the upswing, definitely
on the ups.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Because it's like hookup culture and.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Not even again, it's not even really so much hookup culture.
I mean, does that go on? Yeah, and they're saying
that's okay, But that stigma of you have to have
your first teen romance doesn't exist as much anymore.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Like going steady. No, no, that sounds like an old
person term. But yeah, is that what you mean? Yes? Yes,
and that is it's forever portrayed in cinema and television.
They use the term rom com as being a major
part of high school of middle school. Yeah, and it is. Oh,
(02:10):
you're telling me it's not, well, it's growing that it's not.
Can you give us some numbers? Yeah, hold on, let
me bite it on.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I love fried rice, I really do. Don't think I'm
going to pass on the dumplings though.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Uh making those fresh for your out Yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
That's why I'm holding myself over with the fried rice.
Here we go. Fifty per six percent of what What
What is gen Z? Fifty six percent of gen Z
adults say they've been in a road lit said they've
been in a romantic relationship at any point in their
teen years, compared to seventy six percent of gen xers
(02:50):
and seventy eight percent of baby boomers.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
So it started going down.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Gen z is. Between ninety seven and twenty twelve.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
A long running poll of three thousand Americans found that
fifty four percent of participants aged eighteen to thirty four,
So fifty four percent reported not having a steady partner.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Okay, so that drop off, like you said, twenty years
ago that number was only thirty three. Yeah, these are
massive changes and shifts in society.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
I kind of like it. There's a lot of pressure
that comes with that quote unquote right of passage. Yes,
and you feel like you have to do it even
if you're not ready for it as an individual emotionally
or even in your your your sexual development and I
don't mean actual like parts, but it's just doing it well.
(03:45):
Having sexual maturity, Yeah, just where you are in terms
of what that means, like want it.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
No, if you're mentally ready for it, as most people
are not.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Well, but not even I'm not talking about ready for
it like boob, I'm saying ready to wait.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Are you talking about having them or touching them?
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Neither? Sexual maturity doesn't have to be contact, it can
just be Yeah, it does the attraction. It may not
be a part of your life yet.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
I still ont touch boots, but.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
There's definitely you don't remember at some point in your
life there being a demarcation line between having no interest
in the opposite and having interest in a partner.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
I don't remember there being a moment in time like
I don't remember being like, well, that's funny. Yesterday I
didn't even care about Vanessa Ardol.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
And today now that's all you think about it.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I wanted you were, but.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Like bubblegum, like there wasn't a there wasn't a dividing
line for you.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Really weren't like just hanging out with your guy friends
and then suddenly you were hanging out with everybody.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
I mean, I think the first time that happened was
when we all went to Regina CON's.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
House where elementary school I mixed elementary school Jesus Christ.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
An ol Paso El Paso was getting a lot of
play today. I just think that there's a I remember
being horny at Regina CON's house and Regina we were
probably in fifth grade, and Regina Con would only date
older guys, so I knew I was out.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
But remember that's when I kissed Marcy Callahan. She had
a big, sweaty upper lip.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
But as much as you'd love to claim it, you're
not gen Z. No, no, no, And so you've read
the numbers. It was like an over twenty percent drop
off from those that had dated in their teen years
or just you didn't even say date, it said like
romantic relationship, right.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Yeah, yeah, had teen romance, got after it.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
That's really interesting, And I think it's important to hear,
not only as a teen, but as a parent, to
be aware of the trend that it's growing, because I
will have heard things from friends of mine who have
older children and they'll say things like they have no
(06:22):
interest in dating whatsoever. And as someone who's also not
gen Z, I'm not concerned by that, but I'm just like, oh, okay,
well that's interesting. That just wasn't my experience in high school.
We thought we had to date, like it was a
part of growing up boo. So I like that you're
(06:43):
seeing and you're right, it wasn't. A majority was close,
like forty four percent of those hadn't had a romantic relationship.
That should make you feel more comfortable if you're not
choosing to date anybody in high school.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
But they say that number goes up to like not
dating somebody in college or college age.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Well, what did you say for that?
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Oh, that number is growing also, like they get up
to like twenty six years old. By twenty six and
you're like, well, what.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Is your he just do something. He's shaking motion in
my chair. No, I'm not saying you got to, but
you want to, that says some research even suggests you
might be better off without ever having had a romantic
relationship in terms in terms of your maturity into a
healthy adult.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Wrong, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Some relationships are pretty damn toxic.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
The Yeah, but you learn from that, do you?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Not always okay? And it can leave but not not.
It can leaves wounds that are really hard to heal.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Well, burn your hand on a flame, you won't.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Touch it again. The analyticist, I forgot my backpack was
but I actually didn't know.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
But you have to fall down, Yeah, and you hope
you learn from that.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeah, sometimes you have to fall down twice.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Yeah, you can experience so much without being in a
defined relationship. You can still still Yes, you can hook up,
you can still kiss, you can still dance, you can
have a crush so big it takes up all the
space in your brain. You can care about someone deeply
and you can still get hurt. Yes, plenty of young
(08:35):
people then could be having transformative romantic encounters and still
reporting that they've never been in a relationship. So that's
interesting from your developments standpoint. Yeah, this is a developmental
psychologist at Arizona State. It could be the label, not
(08:56):
the emotional reality that's changing. So do kids.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
So I can have a girlfriend without having a girlfriend.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
But or is it the word dated or dating? Like?
Is that word not used anymore? Is that? Is that
not sligh?
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Like?
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I don't know. Sometimes I say stuff and my kids
tell me it makes me sound old. But has the
D word become one of those what dating? Are dating? Anybody?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
You know?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I don't know the answer to that.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Like my older one has been.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
With a girl for years. She's awesome, she's great.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Years high school? Right, yeah, yea?
Speaker 3 (09:38):
But have they ever talked about the D word?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
I don't even want to say at him he would
say they're dating?
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Would he he would say I have a girlfriend?
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Or would he be like? Would he be so cool?
And I would even know what he was talking? About
and he'd be like, yeah, we see each other.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
The no no, no, he would say like if you said,
do you have a girlfriend, he'd say, yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
My younger one hasn't.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Never has I think that there was like he had
he had a he had a girlfriend for a moment.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
But he's gone out with with with with with girls.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
But I wouldn't say he said he's dating, but like
he just had to go to something in at Miami
and he brought a girl.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
But they're not like a formal type situation like that.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
I don't know what it was.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
That's jackie the.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
What do you want to get involved?
Speaker 3 (10:31):
No, but he brought a girl, but they're not dating
because he's got riz or has dating has the definition
of dating change. It's not that the word is, oh,
that's a good quality. Dated is my definition?
Speaker 4 (10:49):
What see, you're the problem, Not that I don't mean
the problem because you criticize people for whatever choices they're
making in that realm.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
No, because those are people that want but don't pursue.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Like even when I was in high school, I was
I was aware of the term going steady, but that
wasn't used anymore. Yeah, right, so it has dating become
this generation's going steady?
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Or are we used to just going together going together? Yeah,
you didn't say going steady, it was going together. Yeah,
but that sounds older than dating. It's not not going steady.
They used to talk about that crop in the fifties
going steady.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Network been to Lawrence Wilke, going steady. Nobody does that.
But I'm saying, is that what are you getting with dating?
Going doing is different than getting with So you're just
saying the term what is the term for dating now?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
A slice of.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Man, that's hooken up? Yeah, I don't know what the
term for dating is now. So do you think listen,
you guys have had high schoolers. I don't have high
schooling until next year. Do you think that it is
the labels have changed or it actually the activity has
(12:06):
totally changed.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
The activity has changed.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Yeah, so you're anti the Arizona State psychologist, what is that?
What was her stance that was that the labels have changed? There,
I think they're bringing the question differently than maybe an
older generation would.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
No, because you still know, you call it whatever you want.
You still know if if somebody is your girlfriend or boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Yeah, well, now you told me that technically, I never
established exclusivity with Lindsay, so I'm in an open relationship. No,
but you know that Lindsay's your girlfriend. I courted her. Yes,
even well that sounds that sounds.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
That's even older than going steady.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Well, I'm trying to go forward. Going forward? Is that
everything changes? It more means the same.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Oh there's a damsel the no. No, so I don't
know what the name is. But yeah, they're still together,
trying to get I mean, that's it. At the end
of the day, they are. Where am I going?
Speaker 3 (13:05):
I don't think necessarily what you're reading is talking about intercourse.
It's just dating. I can't even say it anymore. The
sound like a gra is it it?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Dating? Isn't that what it is?
Speaker 3 (13:17):
Yeah, Kristin, you're old like us for this discussion. You
can't sort of offer up opinions. When's the last time
when like your high school? By the way, which high
school in Ashland is turning into a gas station? Did
you see that they're taking Osbourne or is that elementary school? Oh?
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Okay, they're turning it into a gas station.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
This school? Yes, you know they've they've knocked the school down. Yeah,
well they don't care about the education.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
There they've learned enough.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
They don't care about education skivity. Where am I going
line to? So you think dating has no? You're dating?
Speaker 3 (13:56):
No, I'm reading this. I don't know this. No, but
I'm saying you're wondering if the term changed, it's still dating.
How confident are you? I don't know every dating apps?
Are you Vegas? Confident? Yeah? But they don't talk like
that in school. It's all slang, the yeah, yesser, I'm sorry,
(14:19):
yes hi?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Who is this?
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Hello? Hello? Yes Hi?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
What can I do for you? Not in school? Where's peers?
Where's that kid?
Speaker 2 (14:30):
You need?
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Back? Close to it? He's blase? I'm sorry, Yes, go ahead,
ma'am or sir.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
I don't know who you are.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Hello, Hello.
Speaker 5 (14:43):
I just read a book called The Anxious Generation. It's
by an author I think his name is Jonathan Tate.
I don't know how to pronounce. But he basically addresses
all these issues with adolescents and kids that you're talking about,
and how uh, basically, the gist of it is, since
(15:05):
they have so much cell phone use and so much
exposure to everything that you can get on the you know,
all the porn and everything that been. Therefore they're not
interested in dating real people.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
You know what I wish I could know.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
I'll tell you why.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I wish I could wrap my arms around that, but
I can't. You should read it. No, no, because like
when I would like growing up, everybody listen, was porn
is readily available?
Speaker 3 (15:37):
No, of course not.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
But you still saw videos, and you still saw DVDs,
and you saw pictures, and somebody gave you playing cards
that had a bunch of titties on the back of them,
and so you saw that.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
But at the end of the by.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
The way, you still masturbated. And when all that was done,
you were like, oh my god, I want to touch
one of those statinitas for real.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
Yes, but I think nowadays they don't want to touch
it for real.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Yeah, I don't. They don't.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
They're afraid to ask anybody out. There's so much pressure
about like what if she doesn't say yes? What if
I ask her out and she doesn't do this? What
if she tells all her friends? It's this whole thing.
It's super scary. But I can tell you I have
a twenty one year old daughter. She's you know, I
would say, she's cute. Whatever you would you know, I
(16:27):
look at you guys all the time.
Speaker 6 (16:29):
She should be dating.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
She's not.
Speaker 5 (16:32):
She's not dating, and the boys aren't asking, and it's
it's all messed up.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
I'm telling you, why doesn't she ask.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
The day?
Speaker 5 (16:42):
I'm I'm sure she would ask. I don't you know.
I don't get into her business so much, but I
just think in general, of her ten friends, maybe one
or two have had a boyfriend, they're all like, so
had a boyfriend, even had a boyfriend there, it's all different.
(17:03):
The kids are not dating like they used to. And
I think you've talked about it before, like, uh, you know,
the rates of having sex are way down, and this
guy has proven. I mean, he's done tons of studies.
He's like, you know, written of several books that.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Why did you have your first boyfriend?
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Their testosterone and everything has been or whatever makes your
sex drive has been effected?
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Red bull? What is the what? Where did that get
your horning? Red Bull?
Speaker 3 (17:32):
And Zin's man gotta get you going?
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Hey?
Speaker 3 (17:34):
What is yeah?
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Right?
Speaker 5 (17:36):
Or drink or have a beer?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
A many?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
How old were you? How old were you when when
you had your first boyfriend?
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (17:46):
Sixteen fifteen?
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Yeah right?
Speaker 5 (17:48):
It was good yeah, I started liking boy I was
boy crazy by you know, ninth grade.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Yeah, Regina CON's house. But you only dated older guys? Hey,
what is that? Does it exactly?
Speaker 5 (18:03):
I only I only dated older guys.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
To be honest with me. Be honest with me, though.
Does it bother you at some level that your daughter
hasn't had a boyfriend?
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Now, I'm sort of.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
Used to it now, but I do think that, uh,
you know, people have different personalities. I'm super she's different
than me, like I'm super social and you know, like
the I love, love to go to parties and all that.
But and she's a little you know, smarter, different personality.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Different studios.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
That's fine, it's fine, But I.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
Do think it's the real thing across the board, Like
you were saying, I don't know what the percentages are,
but I got kids in high school coming out of
high school that haven't had sex. Is like twice as
much as when we were little?
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Is that crazy?
Speaker 1 (18:51):
All right?
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Very good, Very good, Thank you, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I got a new term.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Oh here we go.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Katie says her daughter is talking to a boy.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
I've gotten a couple of d ms about that. Is
that you're talking to something that that is the dating.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
Oh do you know how quick I want to get
out of the talk to and the touch too.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
It doesn't it's not literally right.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
No, I understand that.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
So that is that is today.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
So if I were if I if I were dating,
and you guys were I'm single, and I came in
and we were like, hey, are you dating?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Anybody, be like no, I'm talking to it. So it's
just fifteen.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
You're giving a little information, but it's super vague, right, Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
No, I don't.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
I don't think you're talking to fifteen or twenty different people.
You don't know know they're saying. This is if they're
if you're in a relationship. If they refer to talking,
they're data, they're dating. Okay, that's fine, that's just the term.
It sounds sus to me, but that's what people are messaging.
(19:48):
Where am I going?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Lane six?
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Ellie in the morning?
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Ellie is.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
It's appeers?
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Oh? Here we go?
Speaker 6 (20:00):
There you go? Okay. So I am eighteen nineteen this year,
so I am on the middle side of gen Z.
I'm in the middle of the age.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Range, right.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So when it.
Speaker 6 (20:13):
Comes to dating, we grew up with movies and advertisements
that were directed towards those types of things, like think
about trying to think about things for my generation. But
I liked things that were older because I.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Had an older sister, right, so.
Speaker 6 (20:30):
She likes things like Twilight, So I learned those things.
There was a heavy dating thing and it was that
book was really it was written by a Mormon woman,
so it has different reviews. Well, oh my god, you
on that show.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
You even know this stuff? Hey, Pierce, let me ask
you this. Let me ask you this. Did you you're you're?
You said your sister's older than you, right, I'm guessing
like two two and a half years five? Okay, same thing.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
The did she did she come out of high school?
Speaker 1 (21:01):
Did she have a boyfriend in high school or a
girlfriend in high school?
Speaker 3 (21:04):
She had?
Speaker 6 (21:06):
She had several boyfriends in high school.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Did you come out of high school having ever had
a relationship?
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Doesn't matter to me, no, but I.
Speaker 6 (21:15):
Am going to quickly explain to you why. So in
about eighth grade is when COVID hit and from there
everything was social. That was when most of our development
needed to happen in high school, so we all went online,
so we only met people online. We dated people online,
and then we were shoved back into the personal world
and we didn't know how to make bonds anymore because
(21:36):
we were away for so long. That's what happened to me.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
This kid is like a million times smarter than me.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
It's the other male here.
Speaker 6 (21:48):
Hold on wait, I wrote your name down, hold on,
give me wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait
wait wait wait Tyler Tyler.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Right right, yeah, you got it. That's correct. So, but
what I'm asking next to your name, I have quiet guy,
and research are you suggesting that we're just reheating nachos?
Pretty much?
Speaker 6 (22:10):
Pretty much? And it happens throughout history. Things repeat over
and over again, and it's what's directed at us and
what we perceive and what we learn. Like I was
raised a southern kid. I live on a farm, but
I have more city values than I do country values
right off. So I've gotten out there.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
And I learned right, all right, I don't know that
you answered anything, but I'll take it. Hey, So, but
now that you're now that, now that you're not on
zoom anymore though, and now you're back out there, you
may be a little rusty on approaching, but there's still
the desire.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Yeah, there's still the desire.
Speaker 6 (22:48):
Yes, there's still the desire. But people don't understand anymore
that people are scared now. People don't have the balls
to be like, hey, this bothers me. Hey, we need
to have more communication in our relationship and that's why
relationships are failing. We're still young, we have time to
figure it out, and my generation needs to realize that.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Get it, per Sorry, all right, very good? No, no,
you're good. You're good, all right, Pierce, thank you, my friend,
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