Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I was reading yesterday about this guy who tracks this
when he sleeps, and I will say this, if like
an Apple Watch doesn't track it, there may be something here.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
But he tracks himself.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
He also tracks his nineteen year old son, and he
was posting all of the information about it.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Where am I going line too? Thank you, Kristen hi
elliot in the morning.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Good morning, How are you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hey? I'm doing great? Who's this? This is Barry? Hey, Barry,
you tracked excellent. You track your sleep like when you're sleeping?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
Yeah, every every night?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
And what is it?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Just kind of real quickly like I don't care what
your numbers are. I mean I hope they're good. I
don't want anything bad, But like, what are you what.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Do you know?
Speaker 4 (00:45):
It's so it tracks your respiratory rate? I average thirteen
point five breaths per minute?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Means nothing to me. I don't want your.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Okay, no, I mean you're not getting into the Hall
of fame, Like I'm not looking at me for.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Well played, sir, well plate.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
No.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
No, But like you said, attracks your respiratory Does it
track like if you're asleep or how many times are.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
It tracks heart rate? And I don't know and I
think it tracks like based on heart rate, it tells
me how much rem sleep I'm getting, how much deep
sleep i'm getting, how much core sleep I'm getting.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
And when I'm awake.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
And I was like, yeah, this can't be real or
really accurate. And if I wake up in the night
and I'm up for an hour, and then I look
at the report the next day, it showed even if
I was just laying there with my eyes closed, it
shows that I was not asleep and I.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Was away interesting and just out of curiosity. What what
tracker are you sleeping in?
Speaker 4 (01:57):
The Apple Watch?
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Apple Watch? All right? Very good, very good. Hey, listen,
thank you, I.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Got I got one thing for you. I I uh,
and you cut me off if you want to. But
I've never seen any of you.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
So I've made up in my.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Head what the four of you look like, and i'd
like to share that.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Who are you going to start with?
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Well, Diane looks like Julie Louis Dreyfus.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Okay, that's kind, that's very nice. No, when I say
that's kind, that makes it no that I can I
can see that. Very good, very good, absolutely talented Tyler.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Tyler looks like Chris collins Worth, you know the football
and out.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
I'm a little bit younger, all right, keep going, okay,
a younger one. Kristen uh and Kristen looks like Ellie
May from the nineteen sixties show The Beverly Beverly.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
I don't I don't know who is.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
Big blonde hair, lots of lots of shirts.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Oh yeah, okay, I know who that is. That's good.
That's good, and I'll ask go ahead.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
You're you're a young Tom Arnold, like twenty five years ago.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
He said I could cut him off, Young Tom Arnold,
you know, before he got sick and lost all the weight,
a big fat.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
Guy in the Rosanna years.
Speaker 6 (03:26):
Suddenly I'm like, counts are a skilling guy. He's sixty five,
but I'll take it.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
You remember when Tom Arnold could have to get pulled
out of a chair. That's that's what I'm thinking of.
That's what I'm thinking of.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
He gave you the sleep and you were looking for
though no.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
It sounds like he did he wanted something else. You're
you're fishing for something.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yes, I am, I am. Give me give me line
line eight. Hi Elliet in the morning.
Speaker 6 (03:57):
Is this me?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah? Hi, who's this is it?
Speaker 7 (04:00):
Sarah?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Hi, Sarah?
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Okay, so this this may be this is this is
a little odd and I should have said I was
looking for a guy. But that's okay. You may know
the answer to this. What what what tracker? What tracker
do you do you use?
Speaker 7 (04:13):
I'm using or rings. I just got it maybe three
weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
It's really awesome now or rings And this may be
able to answer my question. Are they designed differently for
man and woman or is it just size? Whatever size works?
Speaker 7 (04:31):
I mean, so mind is a ring that you put
on and they give you like a kit and so
you can try it out over it because your fingers
swollen the night, so you've got to really wear the
little kit ring that's like a plastic ring to sort
of finn your size.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
So it's very.
Speaker 7 (04:45):
You know they have for men women, a really you know,
variety of sizes.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
But I'm just try to say.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
When you bought it, are you buying is it like
Aura for her and Aura for him? Like does it
or they just it's what do they call that?
Speaker 6 (05:00):
Likes picked the finish and then you pick the size.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Okay, so it doesn't matter if if Diane for the
guy who was trying to imagine Diane and I have
the same sized fingers. The it wouldn't matter whether it's
a man or a woman, like it's you. The ring
is the ring.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
No, okay, the ring is the ring.
Speaker 7 (05:18):
Although there's a lot of really cool apps that you
can integrate it. I haven't done it yet, but there's
like for women, like you can like track your temperature
so you can do fertility.
Speaker 8 (05:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Oh, is there an attachment for the or a ring?
Thank you, ma'am? Maybe or it does it?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
What is the wearable that allows you to track your erections?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
That would be a tight rr ring.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
So, like I said, this guy is tracking his erections
and his nineteen year old son's erections.
Speaker 6 (05:55):
Let me do the Collensworth slide.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
It will track number while you're sleeping, number of erections,
average duration of erection, average quality of erection.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
I don't even know what that means. Thank you. Oh
that was a bad heard on and finally overall sleep efficiency. Okay,
but what is.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
This the purpose of tracking erections?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
What's the purpose of tracking remorra?
Speaker 6 (06:32):
Is this for somebody with difficulty?
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Oh no, no, no no, because the guy, first of all,
people are upset that he's tracking his nineteen year old
and putting that information out. I don't know the but
but he was like, you know, my son's erections last
about two minutes longer than mine, right, Okay, Well that
doesn't mean anything. I think the guy is forty seven
or forty eight, so.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Like, and people are like, dude, that's your kid. He's like, yeah, nineteen,
it's fine. It would.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Is it is that? Like, that's not on a that's
not on an Apple Watch.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I have never heard that. Is there is there a
tracker for erections? Like that woman said you could track
ovulation rights?
Speaker 6 (07:21):
From what you've said, I don't get the sense they've
built this themselves.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Oh no, I don't know. I don't know what what
mechanism he's using. I don't know if it's something he creates.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Is it some some app with some you don't.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Think next to each other and they just hold each
other all right, Like, I don't what are what are
they using?
Speaker 6 (07:42):
I know it was incest, but it was funny. If
I could track my boners, I would, well, how long
was that sexy red song?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
A little over two minutes? How how how like Ora
doesn't have it an attack?
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Not in the hatchment, but where like do I have
to wear if I were going to track that?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Do I have to wear an apparatus on my on
my on my you must be or can they tell
that just with blood flow? There's no way, there's no.
Speaker 6 (08:14):
You were mentioning some pretty specific metrics.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Number the number they would be able to tell, Like
would they be able to tell if there was a
bunch of blood rush into my groin?
Speaker 5 (08:27):
I I don't know just by a ring. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Average duration like they could tell like this one was
what's the baseline? Like what is the national.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
Average of erections per night?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Or I was gonna say duration? Like am I getting
the thirty minute wood?
Speaker 5 (08:52):
I would think not?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
You think it's less than that?
Speaker 9 (08:54):
Yeah, this says healthy men have three to five per night.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I hope I'm more than that.
Speaker 9 (09:00):
The number of erections and their quality can vary depending
on your sleep quality and your age.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
What is it?
Speaker 6 (09:07):
We have talked about it and it wasn't too long ago.
Bad would No, it's like knock turn. We never talked
about a device, but it's like nocturnal penile something. This
was within the last mission a few months.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Wait.
Speaker 9 (09:23):
Nocturnal penile this calls it to two messence and PT.
Speaker 6 (09:30):
Yeah, that definitely came up, but we never learned about it.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
A wearable. Yeah, I want a wearable that tracks it.
Speaker 9 (09:40):
And PT happens during your RAM sleep? Yes, okay, so
three to five per.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Night, So that's so during RAM I get ten.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
But why did it come up before? Well because I
was sleeping.
Speaker 6 (10:00):
Yeah, I walked right into that. Please, I'm still looking
for your technology.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
And I hope my quality is good. That is a
fine looking boner. Do you see anything, Diane for Does
Scott track his? No, you don't think does Mike? Do you? Diane?
Do you ever wake up and track for him? What
was put on this miner's lamp?
Speaker 6 (10:32):
His week of juicing threw off his numbers. You guys
said you were a little weak, but he was sleeping more.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
He was sleeping more so he was probably up in
the five to seven boner range, drink a lot of
that beat juice.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Why did it come up? Don't joke again?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Is there is there a wearable that tracks this commercial commercial?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
I have found one, you have.
Speaker 5 (11:00):
Yes, an erection tracker.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Yes.
Speaker 6 (11:04):
It is called the Ridgie scan and it is an
ambulatory data logging unit. That measures and records penisle or
rigidity and two messence.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Okay, like could you make it sound less fun? But
is that like look at the device?
Speaker 1 (11:25):
But when you say it's ambulatory, is that for people
who have like suffered like some kind of injury.
Speaker 6 (11:30):
No? I think it's just do you see this? Honestly,
you won't even know. I mean there's god attachment something.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Right? Does that? You can't hang that from your waist? No?
Speaker 1 (11:47):
And I'm not putting anything in it. Would I be
able to sleep if I had to wear a band
on my penis?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I think?
Speaker 5 (11:54):
So you get used to it eventually first night.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Is this what your guy is using? I don't know.
Did he so there's there was No? He didn't say no.
Speaker 10 (12:04):
He just said that with his with his with his
tracker hold on? Yeah, No, I don't see the I
don't see the name.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Uh.
Speaker 6 (12:22):
So they do refer to the application of the loops.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yea, Oh so I gotta I gotta wear so I'm
wearing a loop on it.
Speaker 6 (12:32):
It is linked by cable as I assumed if you
roll IBM compatible computer which accessible come on mac os. Uh.
The monitor uses tip and bass loops that adjust by
tightening slightly at discrete time intervals to measure and record. Wait,
(12:57):
so is it pols that would give me work?
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Does it?
Speaker 9 (13:01):
Does it kind of go like a blood pressure cuff does?
So it tightens like that.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
No, I don't think it's as severe. Sometimes are on
there and my god, it's gonna explode.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
We die.
Speaker 6 (13:10):
Beach loop takes a measurement every fifteen seconds.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Fifteen seconds. Oh, that's like that old joke like remember
the this is gonna be very old like that. No, No,
it's that old for yes and fifty for no. I
don't even know if you can tell that joke on
the radio. Yes, you can. That's a great Is it
(13:36):
a great joke? Is a great old joke.
Speaker 9 (13:39):
Everybody's like Papa's and stuff used to tell that.
Speaker 11 (13:43):
Not in mixed company, but this great old joke. My
original question, Yes, oh you got to wear the hoops?
Speaker 6 (13:56):
No? Is this for somebody who's experiencing no problem?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
No, because you don't wear a tracker just because you're
experiencing problems.
Speaker 6 (14:04):
But this seems a little more advanced than an Apple watch.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Okay, but let me ask you this.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Let me ask you this, Right, if you were wearing
a tracker, or for anything, or would you just even
use the statistics Diane.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Gave you.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Should get a boner three to five times a night
while you're sleeping, if you were getting one to two,
wouldn't you would think like maybe maybe there's and there
may be.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
Are otherwise otherwise healthy.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Yeah, wouldn't you think like I wonder if something's wrong?
Why wouldn't you want to try?
Speaker 9 (14:35):
Is this the first sign of something that's gonna bother
me in ten years old?
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Or maybe that's just maybe that's just you. What if
you're getting ten What if you're getting one but it
lasts a really long time. No, but there may be
something that brings this on.
Speaker 6 (14:53):
By the way, to the person who clearly is one
of our archivists, you may be right. I heard n
p T Now. I for the one person who thought
I was thinking of n f T S, I wasn't.
But I was thinking of s p L, which came
up round Thanksgiving, which was stretched penile length.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Oh okay, okay, that's fine. So we haven't talked.
Speaker 6 (15:19):
About these, well, we've definitely never talked about the ridgie scan.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
No, never.
Speaker 6 (15:25):
Scan or ridgie scan.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I'm gonna go riggie.
Speaker 9 (15:29):
Sounds better, like, don't forget to put on your ridgie?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
And what was the other thing? D s STS what
what what was the other one? Oh? PSLs? What stretch length?
Speaker 5 (15:44):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah, spl not p s L d s L.
Speaker 5 (15:51):
Sorry.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Oh so is this a screenshot? Yeah?
Speaker 6 (15:57):
That yes, Oh I want to look at this closely. Yeah,
because I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
I couldn't. Yeah, we got to enlarge it. Yeah, ok,
I'll let you know every fifteen seconds. Oh my god,
what it reminds me of? Well joke, did that get dumped?
I hope not. I don't.
Speaker 6 (16:12):
That's a great joke. Okay, so oh, here we go,
Here we go. Wow, it does look like what your
apps are giving you for the rings or the watches.
Which one is his son and which one is him?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Where do do any of those numbers?
Speaker 5 (16:29):
Say?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Duration? Yes? The set?
Speaker 6 (16:33):
Yes, one hundred and eighty four minutes versus one hundred
and eighty two that's total duration.
Speaker 8 (16:38):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
So the one on the right is his son and
he's on the left.
Speaker 6 (16:43):
But dad is sleeping with more efficiency, yeah, because the
other kid's hard.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
All yeah, I was.
Speaker 6 (16:48):
Gonna say, and the dad's quality, which you took an
interest in when you were reading the metrics. Yes, is
better despite the duration being less.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Well, I mean would you rather would you rather have
less with good quality or long with bad quality?
Speaker 6 (17:05):
So what is the formula for computing quality.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Cuman time spent listening? Could that have been more? Inside? Now?
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 6 (17:24):
Okay, so oh this will be great. You have to
guess here.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Okay, So the most.
Speaker 6 (17:33):
Preferred variable when calculating erection quality is the e H S.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Would you like to guess what that stands for?
Speaker 8 (17:46):
EHS erectile. Let's the erection I'll give you direction. H
what that's not what I'm FA it probably is.
Speaker 6 (18:01):
It's shocking hard yes, oh oh the erection hard scale
hardness score.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Oh I'm a grad ski I can hang a towel
on it.
Speaker 9 (18:16):
I know that.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
So that's a part of the the math to figure
out your quality. You know what we need?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
So I need volunteers. No, well, yes, I was gonna say,
we need Elliott in the morning shirts have the logo
on the front, on the back, just three letters e
HS and then you you you you order for your
own number.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
That way everybody watch around. They were like, oh, that
guy's a fourteen.
Speaker 6 (18:41):
No, that would be impossible. The scale goes from zero
to four four. It's it's almost like the college board.
Four would be complete.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
So four is good.
Speaker 6 (18:57):
Three allows four, So this is this is going to
be a score related more towards sexual activity or what
you'd be able to accomplish.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
It's not just you sleeping. So it's good, but a
little mushy. Three.
Speaker 6 (19:11):
Yes, uh, you're not complete, but your h where they
say good enough for government work.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Two stupid. Two has.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
Some uh signs of firm enough but not hard enough
for penetration.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Oh, that's like trying to put the toothpaste back in
the tube. One is sad, No.
Speaker 6 (19:48):
Told you there was zero. One is larger but not
at all rigid.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Oh so you got fat d Maybe this was your
calling to help men and zero is just no enlargement
at all. Yeah, yeah, that is that's that's the price.
Speaker 11 (20:09):
Is right.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
For many.
Speaker 6 (20:12):
The EHS is attractive because it is short and simple.
Amen with just one question, we can assess and report
back to the specialists. What's the question, Well, you can
tell a specialist or a physician what you think your
score would be, and then they can measure to see
(20:34):
if you're being honest or if you're totally lying to
yourself and you don't realize.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Hey, nurse, I think I'm a two test me Elliott,
You're going to get some movement, my god. Line one.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Hi Elliott in the morning, Good morning class. Yes, Hi,
who's this? Hey?
Speaker 7 (21:04):
This is James and Arlington.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
You guys are a little bit off about the device
you're talking about.
Speaker 7 (21:10):
Brian Johnson and his son. He actually recommends the Adam
Health tyler.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Do you pull up talk to Adam dot com.
Speaker 7 (21:18):
You'll see what it is.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
It's I think it's only available in the UK and
they got like a four week waiting list.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Is it when you say Adam, is it a D
A M or a T O M like like like
the Adam Baum or like Adam character got it?
Speaker 6 (21:33):
It is a seven eight week list for waiting? And
this does look like his out it does it does?
Speaker 5 (21:42):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Is it a are you do you have one of these? Uh? No, way, no,
Why you don't want to track your wood? You say
you're a fly.
Speaker 7 (21:56):
Look at how much it costs?
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Oh how much that's a great you know what it's worth?
Its weight.
Speaker 6 (22:04):
That's in pounds. Oh never mind, that's a that's a
good joke with weight.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Sir, are you on the scale on this scale of
zero to four? What are you? Oh?
Speaker 7 (22:17):
I'm obviously a four.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
You know what I think, if I'm being honest, I'm
probably a three. I'm probably a three.
Speaker 6 (22:27):
Diane, Diane yesterday but with a little mush yesterday you
said that when Elliott revealed that TV is too meaningful,
it was the most vulnerable he has ever sounded.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
I'd like to vote to update vote for what.
Speaker 6 (22:47):
Was.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Well, you think you're a four? No, there was a time.
Speaker 6 (22:52):
I'm thinking mostly of freshman year of high school, where
most of your day was spent aroused.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Yeah, so in high school I was a five, dude.
Send it on my transfer to the colleges. I have
forty nine volunteer hours, and I am a five on
the Ridgie scale.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
So the atom sensor is a ring like device that
you wear at the base. There are not two down
here loops this on the scale. The sensor small, compact
and non obstructive, so after a few minutes you will
not even notice you're wearing it. Then I do, and
it works while you're asleep by continuously monitoring changes. When
(23:33):
you wake up, hopefully after eight hours, you simply end
the measurement and remove the sensor upon ending the measurement.
The Atom sensor transfer that's the data to the mobile
app install on your phone takes less than five minutes.
Our smart algorithms and analyze the data, and our app
produces a report with results of the measurement. Yes, the
(23:56):
next faq is is the atom sensor water proof? And
the answer is yeah, no, no, it is not waterproof.
Please keep it away from water and other liquids.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Wait, so why would it not be waterproof? One of
the best boners you could get is shower boner. This
is technical support.
Speaker 5 (24:26):
I think I got shocked.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I brought my whole ridgie machine right into the shower
with me. Now you'll like this.
Speaker 6 (24:35):
The atom sensor is compatible with both iOS and Android.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
You thank you. Hi, Yellie in the morning.
Speaker 8 (24:45):
What it's counting, Big Baculo from trans Pennsylvania.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
What's your number?
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Sixty nine?
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Get off the pH line seven? Hi Elliot in the morning. Yeah, yes, sir,
Well what can I do for you?
Speaker 9 (25:10):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (25:11):
I got one of the track of things I got
on to day.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
You did not? Are you serious? No?
Speaker 4 (25:18):
Not not the Nile one, but the regular sleep one.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
I gotta tell you couldn't don't care less, couldn't care
less about what you got on Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Hey, what's your number on the Ridgie scale?
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Talking to y'all probably at five.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Excellent. Hey, do you remember that old joke about habitats
I was reading yesterday about this guy who tracks this
when he sleeps, and I will say this, if like
an Apple Watch doesn't track it, there may be something here.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
But he tracks himself.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
He also tracks his nineteen year old son, and he
was posting all of the information about it.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Where am I going line too? Thank you, Kristen hi
elliot in the morning.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Good morning, How are you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hey? I'm doing great? Who's this? This is Barry? Hey, Barry,
you tracked excellent. You track your sleep like when you're sleeping?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
Yeah, every every night?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
And what is it?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Just kind of real quickly like I don't care what
your numbers are. I mean I hope they're good. I
don't want anything bad, But like, what are you what.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Do you know?
Speaker 4 (00:45):
It's so it tracks your respiratory rate? I average thirteen
point five breaths per minute?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Means nothing to me. I don't want your.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Okay, no, I mean you're not getting into the Hall
of fame, Like I'm not looking at me for.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Well played, sir, well plate.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
No.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
No, But like you said, attracks your respiratory Does it
track like if you're asleep or how many times are.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
It tracks heart rate? And I don't know and I
think it tracks like based on heart rate, it tells
me how much rem sleep I'm getting, how much deep
sleep i'm getting, how much core sleep I'm getting.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
And when I'm awake.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
And I was like, yeah, this can't be real or
really accurate. And if I wake up in the night
and I'm up for an hour, and then I look
at the report the next day, it showed even if
I was just laying there with my eyes closed, it
shows that I was not asleep and I.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Was away interesting and just out of curiosity. What what
tracker are you sleeping in?
Speaker 4 (01:57):
The Apple Watch?
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Apple Watch? All right? Very good, very good. Hey, listen,
thank you, I.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Got I got one thing for you. I I uh,
and you cut me off if you want to. But
I've never seen any of you.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
So I've made up in my.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Head what the four of you look like, and i'd
like to share that.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Who are you going to start with?
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Well, Diane looks like Julie Louis Dreyfus.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Okay, that's kind, that's very nice. No, when I say
that's kind, that makes it no that I can I
can see that. Very good, very good, absolutely talented Tyler.
Speaker 4 (02:33):
Tyler looks like Chris collins Worth, you know the football
and out.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
I'm a little bit younger, all right, keep going, okay,
a younger one. Kristen uh and Kristen looks like Ellie
May from the nineteen sixties show The Beverly Beverly.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
I don't I don't know who is.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
Big blonde hair, lots of lots of shirts.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Oh yeah, okay, I know who that is. That's good.
That's good, and I'll ask go ahead.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
You're you're a young Tom Arnold, like twenty five years ago.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
He said I could cut him off, Young Tom Arnold,
you know, before he got sick and lost all the weight,
a big fat.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
Guy in the Rosanna years.
Speaker 6 (03:26):
Suddenly I'm like, counts are a skilling guy. He's sixty five,
but I'll take it.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
You remember when Tom Arnold could have to get pulled
out of a chair. That's that's what I'm thinking of.
That's what I'm thinking of.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
He gave you the sleep and you were looking for
though no.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
It sounds like he did he wanted something else. You're
you're fishing for something.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yes, I am, I am. Give me give me line
line eight. Hi Elliet in the morning.
Speaker 6 (03:57):
Is this me?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah? Hi, who's this is it?
Speaker 7 (04:00):
Sarah?
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Hi, Sarah?
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Okay, so this this may be this is this is
a little odd and I should have said I was
looking for a guy. But that's okay. You may know
the answer to this. What what what tracker? What tracker
do you do you use?
Speaker 7 (04:13):
I'm using or rings. I just got it maybe three
weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
It's really awesome now or rings And this may be
able to answer my question. Are they designed differently for
man and woman or is it just size? Whatever size works?
Speaker 7 (04:31):
I mean, so mind is a ring that you put
on and they give you like a kit and so
you can try it out over it because your fingers
swollen the night, so you've got to really wear the
little kit ring that's like a plastic ring to sort
of finn your size.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
So it's very.
Speaker 7 (04:45):
You know they have for men women, a really you know,
variety of sizes.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
But I'm just try to say.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
When you bought it, are you buying is it like
Aura for her and Aura for him? Like does it
or they just it's what do they call that?
Speaker 6 (05:00):
Likes picked the finish and then you pick the size.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Okay, so it doesn't matter if if Diane for the
guy who was trying to imagine Diane and I have
the same sized fingers. The it wouldn't matter whether it's
a man or a woman, like it's you. The ring
is the ring.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
No, okay, the ring is the ring.
Speaker 7 (05:18):
Although there's a lot of really cool apps that you
can integrate it. I haven't done it yet, but there's
like for women, like you can like track your temperature
so you can do fertility.
Speaker 8 (05:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Oh, is there an attachment for the or a ring?
Thank you, ma'am? Maybe or it does it?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
What is the wearable that allows you to track your erections?
Speaker 2 (05:44):
That would be a tight rr ring.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
So, like I said, this guy is tracking his erections
and his nineteen year old son's erections.
Speaker 6 (05:55):
Let me do the Collensworth slide.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
It will track number while you're sleeping, number of erections,
average duration of erection, average quality of erection.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
I don't even know what that means. Thank you. Oh
that was a bad heard on and finally overall sleep efficiency. Okay,
but what is.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
This the purpose of tracking erections?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
What's the purpose of tracking remorra?
Speaker 6 (06:32):
Is this for somebody with difficulty?
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Oh no, no, no no, because the guy, first of all,
people are upset that he's tracking his nineteen year old
and putting that information out. I don't know the but
but he was like, you know, my son's erections last
about two minutes longer than mine, right, Okay, Well that
doesn't mean anything. I think the guy is forty seven
or forty eight, so.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Like, and people are like, dude, that's your kid. He's like, yeah, nineteen,
it's fine. It would.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Is it is that? Like, that's not on a that's
not on an Apple Watch.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I have never heard that. Is there is there a
tracker for erections? Like that woman said you could track
ovulation rights?
Speaker 6 (07:21):
From what you've said, I don't get the sense they've
built this themselves.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Oh no, I don't know. I don't know what what
mechanism he's using. I don't know if it's something he creates.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Is it some some app with some you don't.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Think next to each other and they just hold each
other all right, Like, I don't what are what are
they using?
Speaker 6 (07:42):
I know it was incest, but it was funny. If
I could track my boners, I would, well, how long
was that sexy red song?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
A little over two minutes? How how how like Ora
doesn't have it an attack?
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Not in the hatchment, but where like do I have
to wear if I were going to track that?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Do I have to wear an apparatus on my on
my on my you must be or can they tell
that just with blood flow? There's no way, there's no.
Speaker 6 (08:14):
You were mentioning some pretty specific metrics.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Number the number they would be able to tell, Like
would they be able to tell if there was a
bunch of blood rush into my groin?
Speaker 5 (08:27):
I I don't know just by a ring. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Average duration like they could tell like this one was
what's the baseline? Like what is the national.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
Average of erections per night?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Or I was gonna say duration? Like am I getting
the thirty minute wood?
Speaker 5 (08:52):
I would think not?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
You think it's less than that?
Speaker 9 (08:54):
Yeah, this says healthy men have three to five per night.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I hope I'm more than that.
Speaker 9 (09:00):
The number of erections and their quality can vary depending
on your sleep quality and your age.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
What is it?
Speaker 6 (09:07):
We have talked about it and it wasn't too long ago.
Bad would No, it's like knock turn. We never talked
about a device, but it's like nocturnal penile something. This
was within the last mission a few months.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Wait.
Speaker 9 (09:23):
Nocturnal penile this calls it to two messence and PT.
Speaker 6 (09:30):
Yeah, that definitely came up, but we never learned about it.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
A wearable. Yeah, I want a wearable that tracks it.
Speaker 9 (09:40):
And PT happens during your RAM sleep? Yes, okay, so
three to five per.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Night, So that's so during RAM I get ten.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
But why did it come up before? Well because I
was sleeping.
Speaker 6 (10:00):
Yeah, I walked right into that. Please, I'm still looking
for your technology.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
And I hope my quality is good. That is a
fine looking boner. Do you see anything, Diane for Does
Scott track his? No, you don't think does Mike? Do you? Diane?
Do you ever wake up and track for him? What
was put on this miner's lamp?
Speaker 6 (10:32):
His week of juicing threw off his numbers. You guys
said you were a little weak, but he was sleeping more.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
He was sleeping more so he was probably up in
the five to seven boner range, drink a lot of
that beat juice.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Why did it come up? Don't joke again?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Is there is there a wearable that tracks this commercial commercial?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
I have found one, you have.
Speaker 5 (11:00):
Yes, an erection tracker.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Yes.
Speaker 6 (11:04):
It is called the Ridgie scan and it is an
ambulatory data logging unit. That measures and records penisle or
rigidity and two messence.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Okay, like could you make it sound less fun? But
is that like look at the device?
Speaker 1 (11:25):
But when you say it's ambulatory, is that for people
who have like suffered like some kind of injury.
Speaker 6 (11:30):
No? I think it's just do you see this? Honestly,
you won't even know. I mean there's god attachment something.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Right? Does that? You can't hang that from your waist? No?
Speaker 1 (11:47):
And I'm not putting anything in it. Would I be
able to sleep if I had to wear a band
on my penis?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I think?
Speaker 5 (11:54):
So you get used to it eventually first night.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Is this what your guy is using? I don't know.
Did he so there's there was No? He didn't say no.
Speaker 10 (12:04):
He just said that with his with his with his
tracker hold on? Yeah, No, I don't see the I
don't see the name.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Uh.
Speaker 6 (12:22):
So they do refer to the application of the loops.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yea, Oh so I gotta I gotta wear so I'm
wearing a loop on it.
Speaker 6 (12:32):
It is linked by cable as I assumed if you
roll IBM compatible computer which accessible come on mac os. Uh.
The monitor uses tip and bass loops that adjust by
tightening slightly at discrete time intervals to measure and record. Wait,
(12:57):
so is it pols that would give me work?
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Does it?
Speaker 9 (13:01):
Does it kind of go like a blood pressure cuff does?
So it tightens like that.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
No, I don't think it's as severe. Sometimes are on
there and my god, it's gonna explode.
Speaker 5 (13:10):
We die.
Speaker 6 (13:10):
Beach loop takes a measurement every fifteen seconds.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Fifteen seconds. Oh, that's like that old joke like remember
the this is gonna be very old like that. No, No,
it's that old for yes and fifty for no. I
don't even know if you can tell that joke on
the radio. Yes, you can. That's a great Is it
(13:36):
a great joke? Is a great old joke.
Speaker 9 (13:39):
Everybody's like Papa's and stuff used to tell that.
Speaker 11 (13:43):
Not in mixed company, but this great old joke. My
original question, Yes, oh you got to wear the hoops?
Speaker 6 (13:56):
No? Is this for somebody who's experiencing no problem?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
No, because you don't wear a tracker just because you're
experiencing problems.
Speaker 6 (14:04):
But this seems a little more advanced than an Apple watch.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Okay, but let me ask you this.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Let me ask you this, Right, if you were wearing
a tracker, or for anything, or would you just even
use the statistics Diane.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Gave you.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Should get a boner three to five times a night
while you're sleeping, if you were getting one to two,
wouldn't you would think like maybe maybe there's and there
may be.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
Are otherwise otherwise healthy.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Yeah, wouldn't you think like I wonder if something's wrong?
Why wouldn't you want to try?
Speaker 9 (14:35):
Is this the first sign of something that's gonna bother
me in ten years old?
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Or maybe that's just maybe that's just you. What if
you're getting ten What if you're getting one but it
lasts a really long time. No, but there may be
something that brings this on.
Speaker 6 (14:53):
By the way, to the person who clearly is one
of our archivists, you may be right. I heard n
p T Now. I for the one person who thought
I was thinking of n f T S, I wasn't.
But I was thinking of s p L, which came
up round Thanksgiving, which was stretched penile length.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Oh okay, okay, that's fine. So we haven't talked.
Speaker 6 (15:19):
About these, well, we've definitely never talked about the ridgie scan.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
No, never.
Speaker 6 (15:25):
Scan or ridgie scan.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I'm gonna go riggie.
Speaker 9 (15:29):
Sounds better, like, don't forget to put on your ridgie?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
And what was the other thing? D s STS what
what what was the other one? Oh? PSLs? What stretch length?
Speaker 5 (15:44):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah, spl not p s L d s L.
Speaker 5 (15:51):
Sorry.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Oh so is this a screenshot? Yeah?
Speaker 6 (15:57):
That yes, Oh I want to look at this closely. Yeah,
because I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
I couldn't. Yeah, we got to enlarge it. Yeah, ok,
I'll let you know every fifteen seconds. Oh my god,
what it reminds me of? Well joke, did that get dumped?
I hope not. I don't.
Speaker 6 (16:12):
That's a great joke. Okay, so oh, here we go,
Here we go. Wow, it does look like what your
apps are giving you for the rings or the watches.
Which one is his son and which one is him?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Where do do any of those numbers?
Speaker 5 (16:29):
Say?
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Duration? Yes? The set?
Speaker 6 (16:33):
Yes, one hundred and eighty four minutes versus one hundred
and eighty two that's total duration.
Speaker 8 (16:38):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
So the one on the right is his son and
he's on the left.
Speaker 6 (16:43):
But dad is sleeping with more efficiency, yeah, because the
other kid's hard.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
All yeah, I was.
Speaker 6 (16:48):
Gonna say, and the dad's quality, which you took an
interest in when you were reading the metrics. Yes, is
better despite the duration being less.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Well, I mean would you rather would you rather have
less with good quality or long with bad quality?
Speaker 6 (17:05):
So what is the formula for computing quality.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Cuman time spent listening? Could that have been more? Inside? Now?
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 6 (17:24):
Okay, so oh this will be great. You have to
guess here.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Okay, So the most.
Speaker 6 (17:33):
Preferred variable when calculating erection quality is the e H S.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Would you like to guess what that stands for?
Speaker 8 (17:46):
EHS erectile. Let's the erection I'll give you direction. H
what that's not what I'm FA it probably is.
Speaker 6 (18:01):
It's shocking hard yes, oh oh the erection hard scale
hardness score.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Oh I'm a grad ski I can hang a towel
on it.
Speaker 9 (18:16):
I know that.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
So that's a part of the the math to figure
out your quality. You know what we need?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
So I need volunteers. No, well, yes, I was gonna say,
we need Elliott in the morning shirts have the logo
on the front, on the back, just three letters e
HS and then you you you you order for your
own number.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
That way everybody watch around. They were like, oh, that
guy's a fourteen.
Speaker 6 (18:41):
No, that would be impossible. The scale goes from zero
to four four. It's it's almost like the college board.
Four would be complete.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
So four is good.
Speaker 6 (18:57):
Three allows four, So this is this is going to
be a score related more towards sexual activity or what
you'd be able to accomplish.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
It's not just you sleeping. So it's good, but a
little mushy. Three.
Speaker 6 (19:11):
Yes, uh, you're not complete, but your h where they
say good enough for government work.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Two stupid. Two has.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
Some uh signs of firm enough but not hard enough
for penetration.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Oh, that's like trying to put the toothpaste back in
the tube. One is sad, No.
Speaker 6 (19:48):
Told you there was zero. One is larger but not
at all rigid.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Oh so you got fat d Maybe this was your
calling to help men and zero is just no enlargement
at all. Yeah, yeah, that is that's that's the price.
Speaker 11 (20:09):
Is right.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
For many.
Speaker 6 (20:12):
The EHS is attractive because it is short and simple.
Amen with just one question, we can assess and report
back to the specialists. What's the question, Well, you can
tell a specialist or a physician what you think your
score would be, and then they can measure to see
(20:34):
if you're being honest or if you're totally lying to
yourself and you don't realize.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Hey, nurse, I think I'm a two test me Elliott,
You're going to get some movement, my god. Line one.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Hi Elliott in the morning, Good morning class. Yes, Hi,
who's this? Hey?
Speaker 7 (21:04):
This is James and Arlington.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
You guys are a little bit off about the device
you're talking about.
Speaker 7 (21:10):
Brian Johnson and his son. He actually recommends the Adam
Health tyler.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Do you pull up talk to Adam dot com.
Speaker 7 (21:18):
You'll see what it is.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
It's I think it's only available in the UK and
they got like a four week waiting list.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Is it when you say Adam, is it a D
A M or a T O M like like like
the Adam Baum or like Adam character got it?
Speaker 6 (21:33):
It is a seven eight week list for waiting? And
this does look like his out it does it does?
Speaker 5 (21:42):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Is it a are you do you have one of these? Uh? No, way, no,
Why you don't want to track your wood? You say
you're a fly.
Speaker 7 (21:56):
Look at how much it costs?
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Oh how much that's a great you know what it's worth?
Its weight.
Speaker 6 (22:04):
That's in pounds. Oh never mind, that's a that's a
good joke with weight.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Sir, are you on the scale on this scale of
zero to four? What are you? Oh?
Speaker 7 (22:17):
I'm obviously a four.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
You know what I think, if I'm being honest, I'm
probably a three. I'm probably a three.
Speaker 6 (22:27):
Diane, Diane yesterday but with a little mush yesterday you
said that when Elliott revealed that TV is too meaningful,
it was the most vulnerable he has ever sounded.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
I'd like to vote to update vote for what.
Speaker 6 (22:47):
Was.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
Well, you think you're a four? No, there was a time.
Speaker 6 (22:52):
I'm thinking mostly of freshman year of high school, where
most of your day was spent aroused.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Yeah, so in high school I was a five, dude.
Send it on my transfer to the colleges. I have
forty nine volunteer hours, and I am a five on
the Ridgie scale.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
So the atom sensor is a ring like device that
you wear at the base. There are not two down
here loops this on the scale. The sensor small, compact
and non obstructive, so after a few minutes you will
not even notice you're wearing it. Then I do, and
it works while you're asleep by continuously monitoring changes. When
(23:33):
you wake up, hopefully after eight hours, you simply end
the measurement and remove the sensor upon ending the measurement.
The Atom sensor transfer that's the data to the mobile
app install on your phone takes less than five minutes.
Our smart algorithms and analyze the data, and our app
produces a report with results of the measurement. Yes, the
(23:56):
next faq is is the atom sensor water proof? And
the answer is yeah, no, no, it is not waterproof.
Please keep it away from water and other liquids.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Wait, so why would it not be waterproof? One of
the best boners you could get is shower boner. This
is technical support.
Speaker 5 (24:26):
I think I got shocked.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I brought my whole ridgie machine right into the shower
with me. Now you'll like this.
Speaker 6 (24:35):
The atom sensor is compatible with both iOS and Android.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
You thank you. Hi, Yellie in the morning.
Speaker 8 (24:45):
What it's counting, Big Baculo from trans Pennsylvania.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
What's your number?
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Sixty nine?
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Get off the pH line seven? Hi Elliot in the morning. Yeah, yes, sir,
Well what can I do for you?
Speaker 9 (25:10):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (25:11):
I got one of the track of things I got
on to day.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
You did not? Are you serious? No?
Speaker 4 (25:18):
Not not the Nile one, but the regular sleep one.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
I gotta tell you couldn't don't care less, couldn't care
less about what you got on Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Hey, what's your number on the Ridgie scale?
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Talking to y'all probably at five.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Excellent. Hey, do you remember that old joke about habitats
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