Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Was your bachelorette party everything you wantedit to be? And was it?
Really? Yeah? It looked likeyou guys were having fun. I didn't
know what to expect because I've onlybeen to like very not a lot of
bachelorette parties, right, but finishedthat first set, it's very what do
you mean, like you said,I've only been to very dude like this,
(00:21):
very little, like not a lotlike five? Oh really? Yeah?
Are you serious? Wow? Okay, but like were they were they
back in like your little hamlet whereyou grew? Oh so there's nothing to
do there? No, it's likebut no, no, no, I
mean seriously, where would you guysgo for a bachelor party? Like somebody
else's farm? Very much? Yeah? I mean that's all you got going
(00:41):
on? I'm sorry you said lunchin a barn? So this was like?
Was it? This was your firstexperience with like a big ass bachelorette
party? Yeah? Oh dude,it looked it looked fun. Do you
remember most of it all? No? You don't, Yes, I do?
Oh, Kristen tons of water throughoutthe night, which I was worried.
(01:03):
But I was worried I wasn't goingto be drinking water. Right,
so wait all the dancing and stuff. That's me. I can't like.
I told Mike and my friend Kellyyesterday, I said, this gives everybody
a little taste of what to expectat the weather, sober or not.
Twinkletoes come out. So the daysstarted at your apartment right when Jaggie had
(01:34):
a blast. She had she had, she had a blast. And then
it was to put putt yes,right, well when did you put the
outfit on? I bet it startedon I think I put it on at
ten thirty. So you made yourway downtown wearing that it was the theme?
Yes, well I noticed everyone person'slast round. Yes, yes,
(02:00):
you. And the penis was tolook like a putting green. Oh on
the on the cake? Yeah,well that was the sand trap. It
was the sand trap, and thegreen was actually a penece and around the
bottom right right. No, theyweren't babies penises. They were smaller,
like just as a trim if youwill, well, don't say that.
(02:22):
Do you know who made the cake? I do? Yeah, yeah,
Haley made the cake. Haley waslike, oh, I'm good at making
penis cake. She got this.She worked at an erotic bakery before I
know her backstory. She lifts,she runs, and she bakes penis cakes.
So you're was any of your outfitcustom made? I was impressed by
(02:46):
how well your hat stayed on metoo, and calling it a hat,
it's kind it's it's a beret withthe flag. So my sister had the
shirt made for me. Right.I don't even remember what the shirt said,
Christen's Last Round. I'm sorry,Diane, I didn't memorize it.
I was. I was distracted bythe socks and the crocs. The socks
were custom made. I had those, obviously. I don't have random socks
(03:08):
with Mike's face on them. Right. Was it Joe, his wife who
kept yelling, oh good, thestrippers here? Yeah, so it all
started. My ring was had tobe in the shop, and I was
supposed to get it back Wednesday orThursday. Right, yes, right,
it was supposed to be back forthe party. Right. I still don't
(03:29):
have it. Right, it's supposedto come in today because I needed it
for the party. Yeah, whydo you need that for the party?
And that was a Friday when weparted. You were telling me how you
were going to get it. Yes, I thought I was what happened.
I guess the quote shipment was delayedor something, and they're like, oh,
it'll be in Saturday morning. SoI was excited because Mike was home
(03:50):
for the weekend, so I said, oh, can you please go pick
it up? Well here to findout the ring actually doesn't arrive until today.
So they're like for the weekend,will lend you the exact same ring
that you have for your party?Dude? That's is that common? I
have no idea. I've never like, that's like Paris Hilton treatment, like
(04:11):
you just got like designers stuff,like they were here of flaunt this around.
So the Yeah, Mike went pickedup the Can I ask a question
though, and I'm not I'm notjudging who cares? Like why why do
you have that wants to have herring on for her bachelorette party? Reason
for the season, But did anybodysee what Christian was wearing? I don't
think anybody was like a distract whereI don't see the ring. I don't
(04:33):
I don't see the ring. Itotally understood it Friday when she told me,
and hearing now that she never gotit, I feel horrible for her.
The so okay, So anyway,yes, so yes, So Mike
went to go get the ring,yes, and I said please bring it
back because we're leaving by two totake the train down to put Putt.
(04:53):
So I think he got I thinkit was around like one ish. I
don't remember what time it was thathe brought the ring out. Why don't
you remember, because you remember,lady, I wasn't paying attention to at
the time, right, And Iwas drunk, No, not yet,
I only had I don't have drinksat that time. But no, so
I guess yeah, I don't evenknow that he was being called a stripper.
(05:14):
Jackie told me that whenever he wouldappear, Carrie Jones's wife would go,
oh good, the strippers here like, but just just kept like anytime
Mike would show up that that wasit. The So then you made it
down. Did you get did everydid everybody bring gifts? I didn't even
think. Again, I'm like,I mean, I know Haley brought that
penis cake? Is that thing gifts? I thought you bring something? Well?
(05:38):
So I got two gifts before wewent out, and I brought my
phone and because I got a giftfrom my mother and a gift from my
friend Jesse, Right, and Jessegave me like the typical like silky what
do you call it? A nightything? And and panties and my mom
(05:59):
goes, what's wrong, Diane,No, but like to wear at the
wedding like something sexy. Was itawkward when she opened up later? Right?
Yes? But so it was justlike the silk jacket thing, the
robe and the panties and my mom'slike, well, I didn't see a
top with that, and so there'sno top right, Well, because it's
(06:21):
a robe, you just wear therobe and then when you want to take
the robe off and outcome to movies. That's how her mom said it.
Oh, Diane, I don't knowwhy I've just given your mom an accent.
He does, Diane, it's verynice to make you. I'm Kristin's
(06:44):
mother. If you see her teeth, what bridge say that? That was
your voice? She says, Washington. Yeah, she's excited to be in
Washington. Absolutely. So that wasthe first s gift. And then my
mom said, Kristen, before wehead out and do everything, I need
you to open this gift. AndI got like so nervous and like what
(07:06):
did mom give me? So therethere was a no in it, and
it says, dear Christen, itis with great honor and pleasure to pass
on this treasured possession and tradition inour family to you. It is five
generations old, a gift given tous on your wedding night. It was
(07:29):
brought with great great great Grandma Daisyacross the Appalachian mountains and the covered wagon
to great great Grandma Alice. Thengo ahead, and then on to great
gone to great Grandma Hilda, andto great or Sorry, and then to
(07:53):
Grandma Margaret, then to your momRenee, and now to excite your wedding
night with pleasure, here you go, love. And so I opened this
shoe box, and I'm right,it's very light, so I know it's
not a pair of shoes, right, And I pull out this huge thick
nightgown like it was like from neckdown to the feet, just like thick.
(08:16):
I don't even know. It waslike flannel, and it smelled like
it came from the wagon. Sowell, that's nice. That made it
all the way great tradition. Ilove that. Oh well, that's nice.
(08:37):
The now, which one do youthink you'll wear on the wedding night?
Neither, Chris. Then you're notgood. That's a nice gift.
You don't think Mike would be allaroused as you've come out of the bathroom
changing into your Appalachian wool rope.All right. So then it was off
to put pot Yeah, which,by the way, I gotta say,
(08:58):
it sounds like my wife. Ikilled it at put pote. Oh yeah,
yeah, she she she was veryproud of her put putt put putting.
Yes, But I have to quicklygo back to my outfit. Oh
yes, I thought I was gettinga visor, but I was surprised by
my friends with the green beret withthe veil. So I'm like, this
is even better than a visor.So cute it is. It was very
(09:20):
nice. It had like a littlehole on it and casing. Turned the
sand trap or I'm sorry, Haleyturned the sand trap into a penis.
That's all she does. And sothat was that was all good, And
then put potte Yes, went toput putt. We had a room where,
shout out to Alvin was the bestwaiter around. He greeted me with
a glass of champagne and a littleshot called Sex on the Green. It
(09:43):
was so good. Oh there itis, but no, it was so
much fun. And I totally wantto go back. I wish it was
eighteen holes because we just we hadso much fun. We're like, the
no, way, nine holes isenough? What is all over your Boh
those are the tattoos? Oh yeah, there were like golf tattoos. Missus
(10:07):
Jones found some really cool ones golfing. And then what was the one?
Uh? Is was covered in strippertattoos. Yeah, those were cute egg
plants. Oh yeah, the eggplants. And then this is your last
banana something like that. See youlook hammered in that picture. No,
(10:28):
I was so excited to get rollingthe no that that, by the way
is okay, this is the macarena. Yep, right, So what you
ended up? You went to aMexican restaurant. We went to Bokira uh
Spanish top us uh like two blocksfrom Swingers, where we played put putt
(10:52):
and the macarena came on and Ididn't want to stand, so I got
on my chair and started doing themacarena in a private room. Here it
was that was in the middle ofthe restaurant. Yeah it sounds like Diana
there now, but you know what, so every so like we all start
(11:13):
getting videos, so I'm getting themto the morning show group text from Kristen
Jackie is sending me some like nowthey're oh, I didn't see some of
these. That's my mom and twosisters. Oh wow, Oh there's your
mom. She wore the same Appalachianrogue that you're gonna wear. Who is
(11:35):
that? That was one of theguys that karaoke? Yes, so what
did you do karaoke after dinner?Yeah? By the way, so can
we go back to dinner for asecond. Is the is the craft of
margarita's with the long stem? Isthat is that a thing? I've never
seen that before. I forget whatit's called, like perron or something.
(11:56):
No, peron like pear. Didn'tthey say, why are you trying to
talk? Like Todd? I askedwhat it was and he said it was
it was like tequila and pineapple.It was so good. It tasted like
margharita. Oh so, so anyway, it's in like some weird ad.
Yeah, but they make some wateringcans that look like that too, with
that really thin Yeah, the longstep that comes off of it. And
(12:20):
then everybody laid back, well noteverybody, but everybody laid back and they
would pour it in, just pourit down your throat until you gave him
like the all right, I've hadenough sign and so everybody's guzzling it.
Diane, I don't know what thehell you did. I'm not good at
that. Gus was really good aboutlike explaining it, and he would help,
(12:41):
like hold our heads back and he'slike, nope, go a little
bit further back, so it didn'tfeel like we were falling, right.
He was really good about like holdingour heads and then Diane, I'm like,
we're all yelling like yeah. Andthen Diane treated it like, well,
I'll just wrap my mouth around thestem and that should be good.
What did you do? I'm notnever mind. Did it trigger like a
(13:07):
gag reflex? No? It startedto did you like in college? Did
you ever do like kickstands? DidI ever do a kickstand? I don't
think I did? Are you serious? I could shotgun beers? Okay?
How many years ago was that?I don't start listening off your accomplishments.
The video of you doing the Mexicanpicture tequila was so pathetic. I showed
(13:31):
my whole family. I didn't evencare. I was like, my son's
already seeing the screen movies. Ican show them how disappointing my co workers.
Oh, by the way, somebodya little update on that. Somebody
said, you don't see nudity inany of the screen movies, but they
are good at making sure you seea wreck nipples through clothing. So just
so you know, I did tellthem it was gatorade. Yeah, that
(13:56):
wasn't your strongest moment. That wasnot your strongest moment. Now, the
girls in the pit seem like theygot after it a little bit. Yes,
at the very beginning, Haley andCasey, pretty much everybody was there.
There's a total of fourteen. Jamieshowed up for Putt Putt, and
then Diane met out for dinner.Right, everybody went to karaoke right at
(14:18):
some point though, there's some video. I don't know if Jackie said it
to me. Somebody sent it tome of Casey and Haley and somebody else
doing karaoke but aggressively, like oh, it may have been with Jones's wife,
just real aggressive. I mean Caseywas really getting after it, like
(14:41):
singing with flair or like they likeno performing like yeah, like that was
not her first rodeo, Like herhair was dying and I'm like, yes,
yeah, well you were teaching themmy dance, oh yes, all
my toes, oh yeah, andgarbage man every video Christen Scent, I
(15:05):
had to ask myself, have Iever had this much fun in my life
at any point? How can Iask you? This was and I listen,
I don't care, I was everybodywas having a great time. It
was was beyond belief. How drunkwas Jamie? I honestly don't think she
(15:26):
got that drunk. I don't know. I wasn't paying such the much.
So that's a sober clap. Yeah, that was a little uh out there.
That's even third gift of the night, gift of rhythm. That's how
she clapsed. I guess like soberthat. I don't know, Like what
you were doing there was like youget down the boat, like whatever you
(15:52):
were doing look like it could gowith something what Jamie was doing, look
like like on the way in,maybe somebody like something fell on her head
and then there was a bad injuryhap a second late, the low ceilings
at pop pop. Honestly, Idon't what was she doing. I thought
she was drunk. I said toJackie, how, oh my god,
(16:15):
how drunk was Jamie, she forgothow to clap. Yeah, I don't
even think, like when I startedthe garbage Man, I think I think
they just elaborate that the garbage formaybe there's people listening who have no idea
what you're talking about. I don'teven know what exactly. It's just a
dance, you know. You there? Yeah, yeah, like the more
(16:37):
popular when the people know is thesprinkler. Oh yeah, but she does
the garbage man. Yeah. Youride on the back of the garbage chuck
and then you hop and throw thetrash in the back, and then you
hop back off. I need asong, and then you hop back gun
to the next house. I wasin a petphone. I don't just make
(17:08):
Yeah, there were yell that's whatI mean. You got the beat down,
sure, and then and see thegarbage you don't need to clap.
(17:30):
It's actually it's perfect version of whatwent down because much like it appeared,
Jamie couldn't Kristen can't hear the music, and it looked like Jamie was stroking.
So as Kristen tried to keep fromhearing through Dianie's headphone for two seconds,
she lost the beat, which Iguess is unfair because Jamie never had
(17:55):
it. But that was what thatone clip looked like. And I know
that you had posted a lot ofInstagram. I don't think that you had
sent that video out publicly. No, I got it later. Yeah yeah,
of the of the clapping, Butwho were it seemed like now the
place was packed that you guys weredoing karaoke, But did you guys take
over the song list? I guessso, yeah, it wasn't. It
(18:18):
wasn't super crowded. Right when wegot there, it was like us And
then like I'm just assuming they're likeGW students who that's their thing? Right?
Yeah? They were all they alllook like students, right yeah,
yeah, okay, yeah right,and so there were a couple like they
got a couple in and then everybody'slike, oh, hell no, I
mean, where's that paper? I'msign she just watched and you didn't sing
(18:45):
like with the group? Oh everybody? What was it? It was before
he cheats? Oh god, thatwas Casey went off the video. I
have, yes, it's her andHaley. Apparently they may have been wrong
at some point. I've got aroutine more. God damn, did they
go off? Yeah, like angry, like even they were like, hey,
(19:06):
can we get the Margarita picture back? Like they were pissed? Yeah,
no, they went off. Jones'swife Carrie sang, there it is.
Yeah, it was so good.Now who shows when you were singing
stroking? Did you choose that?Huhh? And need it was for Jamie.
(19:27):
I needed somebody to come sing withme. So there was this nice
gentleman who was sang it was aBob Marrow song earlier in the night.
So he seems like he's like hewas good, he was so good.
Yeah. So I'm like, heyyou, I'm like kissing this song with
Hey you you ever been on theback of the garbage you're throwing? And
(19:51):
who sang? By the way,if you get on tender, that girl
right there will probably swipe you.Oh I'm sorry, Casey doesn't live on
Tinder. Who sang? It lookedlike you guys are being serenaded with an
Ed Shearon song? Yes? Ohthat So I don't know how it happened
(20:12):
because Mike won't tell me, butthere was a request of perfect by Ed
Shearon from Mike sang or sung whichever'sproperty sing by Lamar? Who is the
house DJ? So he came out. There was a chair, and I
(20:33):
thought for sure a stripper was comingout, because he's like, so,
where where's our bride, Kristen.And at this point it was not long
after we got there. I feelit. Yeah, yeah, And so
then I sat there and I'm like, oh my gosh, there's gonna be
a stripper that comes out here orsomething. But no, I was serenaded.
(20:55):
It was the sweetest thing. Ohthat's nice. That's very nice.
And he had a great voice too. Oh he was so I thank you.
I feel like he's sang another songat some point throughout the night.
Yeah, but I don't remember.No one was drunk. Nobody got drunk
at all. I mean I wasdrunk, but it wasn't like I had
water. Yeah. I think Icounted like maybe four or five shots.
But it was all the sex onthe green And then I got that cocked,
(21:18):
that drink in a cocktail, thatgirl like three times on an awkward
time to correct yourself. Then Mikeshowed up. Okay, now, now
with the timeline's fully established, butthere was one time in the entire night
that I was embarrassed by your behavioror Diane was with me. Oh,
(21:47):
Jamie was clapping. I was hopefulthat Diane didn't hear me. Was this
When we were in the bathroom together, heard me no, no, I
had last so bad. And Dianewas in the stall next to me,
and I'm like holding the beef,holding the beef, and I beefed two
large times and then she and I'mlike, Dian's hearing me beef. This
(22:08):
is so embarrassing because I try tohold him in all the time around her,
and then all the time every timewe walk anywhere, I always hold
him in. Christ and I goto the kitchen every every day after the
show, and she normally went fart. She tries to hold it in,
and I'm like, oh my gosh, Diane's next to me, She's hearing
me beef. And she kept sayinglike, are you okay. I'm like,
(22:30):
yeah, I'll beef
Was your bachelorette party everything you wantedit to be? And was it?
Really? Yeah? It looked likeyou guys were having fun. I didn't
know what to expect because I've onlybeen to like very not a lot of
bachelorette parties, right, but finishedthat first set, it's very what do
you mean, like you said,I've only been to very dude like this,
(00:21):
very little, like not a lotlike five? Oh really? Yeah?
Are you serious? Wow? Okay, but like were they were they
back in like your little hamlet whereyou grew? Oh so there's nothing to
do there? No, it's likebut no, no, no, I
mean seriously, where would you guysgo for a bachelor party? Like somebody
else's farm? Very much? Yeah? I mean that's all you got going
(00:41):
on? I'm sorry you said lunchin a barn? So this was like?
Was it? This was your firstexperience with like a big ass bachelorette
party? Yeah? Oh dude,it looked it looked fun. Do you
remember most of it all? No? You don't, Yes, I do?
Oh, Kristen tons of water throughoutthe night, which I was worried.
(01:03):
But I was worried I wasn't goingto be drinking water. Right,
so wait all the dancing and stuff. That's me. I can't like.
I told Mike and my friend Kellyyesterday, I said, this gives everybody
a little taste of what to expectat the weather, sober or not.
Twinkletoes come out. So the daysstarted at your apartment right when Jaggie had
(01:34):
a blast. She had she had, she had a blast. And then
it was to put putt yes,right, well when did you put the
outfit on? I bet it startedon I think I put it on at
ten thirty. So you made yourway downtown wearing that it was the theme?
Yes, well I noticed everyone person'slast round. Yes, yes,
(02:00):
you. And the penis was tolook like a putting green. Oh on
the on the cake? Yeah,well that was the sand trap. It
was the sand trap, and thegreen was actually a penece and around the
bottom right right. No, theyweren't babies penises. They were smaller,
like just as a trim if youwill, well, don't say that.
(02:22):
Do you know who made the cake? I do? Yeah, yeah,
Haley made the cake. Haley waslike, oh, I'm good at making
penis cake. She got this.She worked at an erotic bakery before I
know her backstory. She lifts,she runs, and she bakes penis cakes.
So you're was any of your outfitcustom made? I was impressed by
(02:46):
how well your hat stayed on metoo, and calling it a hat,
it's kind it's it's a beret withthe flag. So my sister had the
shirt made for me. Right.I don't even remember what the shirt said,
Christen's Last Round. I'm sorry,Diane, I didn't memorize it.
I was. I was distracted bythe socks and the crocs. The socks
were custom made. I had those, obviously. I don't have random socks
(03:08):
with Mike's face on them. Right. Was it Joe, his wife who
kept yelling, oh good, thestrippers here? Yeah, so it all
started. My ring was had tobe in the shop, and I was
supposed to get it back Wednesday orThursday. Right, yes, right,
it was supposed to be back forthe party. Right. I still don't
(03:29):
have it. Right, it's supposedto come in today because I needed it
for the party. Yeah, whydo you need that for the party?
And that was a Friday when weparted. You were telling me how you
were going to get it. Yes, I thought I was what happened.
I guess the quote shipment was delayedor something, and they're like, oh,
it'll be in Saturday morning. SoI was excited because Mike was home
(03:50):
for the weekend, so I said, oh, can you please go pick
it up? Well here to findout the ring actually doesn't arrive until today.
So they're like for the weekend,will lend you the exact same ring
that you have for your party?Dude? That's is that common? I
have no idea. I've never like, that's like Paris Hilton treatment, like
(04:11):
you just got like designers stuff,like they were here of flaunt this around.
So the Yeah, Mike went pickedup the Can I ask a question
though, and I'm not I'm notjudging who cares? Like why why do
you have that wants to have herring on for her bachelorette party? Reason
for the season, But did anybodysee what Christian was wearing? I don't
think anybody was like a distract whereI don't see the ring. I don't
(04:33):
I don't see the ring. Itotally understood it Friday when she told me,
and hearing now that she never gotit, I feel horrible for her.
The so okay, So anyway,yes, so yes, So Mike
went to go get the ring,yes, and I said please bring it
back because we're leaving by two totake the train down to put Putt.
(04:53):
So I think he got I thinkit was around like one ish. I
don't remember what time it was thathe brought the ring out. Why don't
you remember, because you remember,lady, I wasn't paying attention to at
the time, right, And Iwas drunk, No, not yet,
I only had I don't have drinksat that time. But no, so
I guess yeah, I don't evenknow that he was being called a stripper.
(05:14):
Jackie told me that whenever he wouldappear, Carrie Jones's wife would go,
oh good, the strippers here like, but just just kept like anytime
Mike would show up that that wasit. The So then you made it
down. Did you get did everydid everybody bring gifts? I didn't even
think. Again, I'm like,I mean, I know Haley brought that
penis cake? Is that thing gifts? I thought you bring something? Well?
(05:38):
So I got two gifts before wewent out, and I brought my
phone and because I got a giftfrom my mother and a gift from my
friend Jesse, Right, and Jessegave me like the typical like silky what
do you call it? A nightything? And and panties and my mom
(05:59):
goes, what's wrong, Diane,No, but like to wear at the
wedding like something sexy. Was itawkward when she opened up later? Right?
Yes? But so it was justlike the silk jacket thing, the
robe and the panties and my mom'slike, well, I didn't see a
top with that, and so there'sno top right, Well, because it's
(06:21):
a robe, you just wear therobe and then when you want to take
the robe off and outcome to movies. That's how her mom said it.
Oh, Diane, I don't knowwhy I've just given your mom an accent.
He does, Diane, it's verynice to make you. I'm Kristin's
(06:44):
mother. If you see her teeth, what bridge say that? That was
your voice? She says, Washington. Yeah, she's excited to be in
Washington. Absolutely. So that wasthe first s gift. And then my
mom said, Kristen, before wehead out and do everything, I need
you to open this gift. AndI got like so nervous and like what
(07:06):
did mom give me? So therethere was a no in it, and
it says, dear Christen, itis with great honor and pleasure to pass
on this treasured possession and tradition inour family to you. It is five
generations old, a gift given tous on your wedding night. It was
(07:29):
brought with great great great Grandma Daisyacross the Appalachian mountains and the covered wagon
to great great Grandma Alice. Thengo ahead, and then on to great
gone to great Grandma Hilda, andto great or Sorry, and then to
(07:53):
Grandma Margaret, then to your momRenee, and now to excite your wedding
night with pleasure, here you go, love. And so I opened this
shoe box, and I'm right,it's very light, so I know it's
not a pair of shoes, right, And I pull out this huge thick
nightgown like it was like from neckdown to the feet, just like thick.
(08:16):
I don't even know. It waslike flannel, and it smelled like
it came from the wagon. Sowell, that's nice. That made it
all the way great tradition. Ilove that. Oh well, that's nice.
(08:37):
The now, which one do youthink you'll wear on the wedding night?
Neither, Chris. Then you're notgood. That's a nice gift.
You don't think Mike would be allaroused as you've come out of the bathroom
changing into your Appalachian wool rope.All right. So then it was off
to put pot Yeah, which,by the way, I gotta say,
(08:58):
it sounds like my wife. Ikilled it at put pote. Oh yeah,
yeah, she she she was veryproud of her put putt put putting.
Yes, But I have to quicklygo back to my outfit. Oh
yes, I thought I was gettinga visor, but I was surprised by
my friends with the green beret withthe veil. So I'm like, this
is even better than a visor.So cute it is. It was very
(09:20):
nice. It had like a littlehole on it and casing. Turned the
sand trap or I'm sorry, Haleyturned the sand trap into a penis.
That's all she does. And sothat was that was all good, And
then put potte Yes, went toput putt. We had a room where,
shout out to Alvin was the bestwaiter around. He greeted me with
a glass of champagne and a littleshot called Sex on the Green. It
(09:43):
was so good. Oh there itis, but no, it was so
much fun. And I totally wantto go back. I wish it was
eighteen holes because we just we hadso much fun. We're like, the
no, way, nine holes isenough? What is all over your Boh
those are the tattoos? Oh yeah, there were like golf tattoos. Missus
(10:07):
Jones found some really cool ones golfing. And then what was the one?
Uh? Is was covered in strippertattoos. Yeah, those were cute egg
plants. Oh yeah, the eggplants. And then this is your last
banana something like that. See youlook hammered in that picture. No,
(10:28):
I was so excited to get rollingthe no that that, by the way
is okay, this is the macarena. Yep, right, So what you
ended up? You went to aMexican restaurant. We went to Bokira uh
Spanish top us uh like two blocksfrom Swingers, where we played put putt
(10:52):
and the macarena came on and Ididn't want to stand, so I got
on my chair and started doing themacarena in a private room. Here it
was that was in the middle ofthe restaurant. Yeah it sounds like Diana
there now, but you know what, so every so like we all start
(11:13):
getting videos, so I'm getting themto the morning show group text from Kristen
Jackie is sending me some like nowthey're oh, I didn't see some of
these. That's my mom and twosisters. Oh wow, Oh there's your
mom. She wore the same Appalachianrogue that you're gonna wear. Who is
(11:35):
that? That was one of theguys that karaoke? Yes, so what
did you do karaoke after dinner?Yeah? By the way, so can
we go back to dinner for asecond. Is the is the craft of
margarita's with the long stem? Isthat is that a thing? I've never
seen that before. I forget whatit's called, like perron or something.
(11:56):
No, peron like pear. Didn'tthey say, why are you trying to
talk? Like Todd? I askedwhat it was and he said it was
it was like tequila and pineapple.It was so good. It tasted like
margharita. Oh so, so anyway, it's in like some weird ad.
Yeah, but they make some wateringcans that look like that too, with
that really thin Yeah, the longstep that comes off of it. And
(12:20):
then everybody laid back, well noteverybody, but everybody laid back and they
would pour it in, just pourit down your throat until you gave him
like the all right, I've hadenough sign and so everybody's guzzling it.
Diane, I don't know what thehell you did. I'm not good at
that. Gus was really good aboutlike explaining it, and he would help,
(12:41):
like hold our heads back and he'slike, nope, go a little
bit further back, so it didn'tfeel like we were falling, right.
He was really good about like holdingour heads and then Diane, I'm like,
we're all yelling like yeah. Andthen Diane treated it like, well,
I'll just wrap my mouth around thestem and that should be good.
What did you do? I'm notnever mind. Did it trigger like a
(13:07):
gag reflex? No? It startedto did you like in college? Did
you ever do like kickstands? DidI ever do a kickstand? I don't
think I did? Are you serious? I could shotgun beers? Okay?
How many years ago was that?I don't start listening off your accomplishments.
The video of you doing the Mexicanpicture tequila was so pathetic. I showed
(13:31):
my whole family. I didn't evencare. I was like, my son's
already seeing the screen movies. Ican show them how disappointing my co workers.
Oh, by the way, somebodya little update on that. Somebody
said, you don't see nudity inany of the screen movies, but they
are good at making sure you seea wreck nipples through clothing. So just
so you know, I did tellthem it was gatorade. Yeah, that
(13:56):
wasn't your strongest moment. That wasnot your strongest moment. Now, the
girls in the pit seem like theygot after it a little bit. Yes,
at the very beginning, Haley andCasey, pretty much everybody was there.
There's a total of fourteen. Jamieshowed up for Putt Putt, and
then Diane met out for dinner.Right, everybody went to karaoke right at
(14:18):
some point though, there's some video. I don't know if Jackie said it
to me. Somebody sent it tome of Casey and Haley and somebody else
doing karaoke but aggressively, like oh, it may have been with Jones's wife,
just real aggressive. I mean Caseywas really getting after it, like
(14:41):
singing with flair or like they likeno performing like yeah, like that was
not her first rodeo, Like herhair was dying and I'm like, yes,
yeah, well you were teaching themmy dance, oh yes, all
my toes, oh yeah, andgarbage man every video Christen Scent, I
(15:05):
had to ask myself, have Iever had this much fun in my life
at any point? How can Iask you? This was and I listen,
I don't care, I was everybodywas having a great time. It
was was beyond belief. How drunkwas Jamie? I honestly don't think she
(15:26):
got that drunk. I don't know. I wasn't paying such the much.
So that's a sober clap. Yeah, that was a little uh out there.
That's even third gift of the night, gift of rhythm. That's how
she clapsed. I guess like soberthat. I don't know, Like what
you were doing there was like youget down the boat, like whatever you
(15:52):
were doing look like it could gowith something what Jamie was doing, look
like like on the way in,maybe somebody like something fell on her head
and then there was a bad injuryhap a second late, the low ceilings
at pop pop. Honestly, Idon't what was she doing. I thought
she was drunk. I said toJackie, how, oh my god,
(16:15):
how drunk was Jamie, she forgothow to clap. Yeah, I don't
even think, like when I startedthe garbage Man, I think I think
they just elaborate that the garbage formaybe there's people listening who have no idea
what you're talking about. I don'teven know what exactly. It's just a
dance, you know. You there? Yeah, yeah, like the more
(16:37):
popular when the people know is thesprinkler. Oh yeah, but she does
the garbage man. Yeah. Youride on the back of the garbage chuck
and then you hop and throw thetrash in the back, and then you
hop back off. I need asong, and then you hop back gun
to the next house. I wasin a petphone. I don't just make
(17:08):
Yeah, there were yell that's whatI mean. You got the beat down,
sure, and then and see thegarbage you don't need to clap.
(17:30):
It's actually it's perfect version of whatwent down because much like it appeared,
Jamie couldn't Kristen can't hear the music, and it looked like Jamie was stroking.
So as Kristen tried to keep fromhearing through Dianie's headphone for two seconds,
she lost the beat, which Iguess is unfair because Jamie never had
(17:55):
it. But that was what thatone clip looked like. And I know
that you had posted a lot ofInstagram. I don't think that you had
sent that video out publicly. No, I got it later. Yeah yeah,
of the of the clapping, Butwho were it seemed like now the
place was packed that you guys weredoing karaoke, But did you guys take
over the song list? I guessso, yeah, it wasn't. It
(18:18):
wasn't super crowded. Right when wegot there, it was like us And
then like I'm just assuming they're likeGW students who that's their thing? Right?
Yeah? They were all they alllook like students, right yeah,
yeah, okay, yeah right,and so there were a couple like they
got a couple in and then everybody'slike, oh, hell no, I
mean, where's that paper? I'msign she just watched and you didn't sing
(18:45):
like with the group? Oh everybody? What was it? It was before
he cheats? Oh god, thatwas Casey went off the video. I
have, yes, it's her andHaley. Apparently they may have been wrong
at some point. I've got aroutine more. God damn, did they
go off? Yeah, like angry, like even they were like, hey,
(19:06):
can we get the Margarita picture back? Like they were pissed? Yeah,
no, they went off. Jones'swife Carrie sang, there it is.
Yeah, it was so good.Now who shows when you were singing
stroking? Did you choose that?Huhh? And need it was for Jamie.
(19:27):
I needed somebody to come sing withme. So there was this nice
gentleman who was sang it was aBob Marrow song earlier in the night.
So he seems like he's like hewas good, he was so good.
Yeah. So I'm like, heyyou, I'm like kissing this song with
Hey you you ever been on theback of the garbage you're throwing? And
(19:51):
who sang? By the way,if you get on tender, that girl
right there will probably swipe you.Oh I'm sorry, Casey doesn't live on
Tinder. Who sang? It lookedlike you guys are being serenaded with an
Ed Shearon song? Yes? Ohthat So I don't know how it happened
(20:12):
because Mike won't tell me, butthere was a request of perfect by Ed
Shearon from Mike sang or sung whichever'sproperty sing by Lamar? Who is the
house DJ? So he came out. There was a chair, and I
(20:33):
thought for sure a stripper was comingout, because he's like, so,
where where's our bride, Kristen.And at this point it was not long
after we got there. I feelit. Yeah, yeah, And so
then I sat there and I'm like, oh my gosh, there's gonna be
a stripper that comes out here orsomething. But no, I was serenaded.
(20:55):
It was the sweetest thing. Ohthat's nice. That's very nice.
And he had a great voice too. Oh he was so I thank you.
I feel like he's sang another songat some point throughout the night.
Yeah, but I don't remember.No one was drunk. Nobody got drunk
at all. I mean I wasdrunk, but it wasn't like I had
water. Yeah. I think Icounted like maybe four or five shots.
But it was all the sex onthe green And then I got that cocked,
(21:18):
that drink in a cocktail, thatgirl like three times on an awkward
time to correct yourself. Then Mikeshowed up. Okay, now, now
with the timeline's fully established, butthere was one time in the entire night
that I was embarrassed by your behavioror Diane was with me. Oh,
(21:47):
Jamie was clapping. I was hopefulthat Diane didn't hear me. Was this
When we were in the bathroom together, heard me no, no, I
had last so bad. And Dianewas in the stall next to me,
and I'm like holding the beef,holding the beef, and I beefed two
large times and then she and I'mlike, Dian's hearing me beef. This
(22:08):
is so embarrassing because I try tohold him in all the time around her,
and then all the time every timewe walk anywhere, I always hold
him in. Christ and I goto the kitchen every every day after the
show, and she normally went fart. She tries to hold it in,
and I'm like, oh my gosh, Diane's next to me, She's hearing
me beef. And she kept sayinglike, are you okay. I'm like,
(22:30):
yeah, I'll beef
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