EITM: Krysten's Wedding 10/30/23

Recapping the weekend...without the bride.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I don't want to get too deepinto the wedding. Kristen will be back

(00:02):
tomorrow. I gave her the extraday, which was nice. But yes,
she'll be back in here tomorrow.But it was it was, it
was an awesome event. Yes,I thought it was great, and I
will get her. I did nottalk to her about it. I did
not bring it up because I don'tknow what the rules are. I noticed
absolutely nothing wrong with the dress.It's the first thing I said there.

(00:25):
Yeah, I will also be veryhonest, and I don't know what the
what the right what the what theright etiquette is. I also, being
completely honest, didn't pay any attentionto the dress. Really, I mean
I saw she was first look whenshe's walked down the aisle. No,
I mean I saw her wearing awedding dress walking down the aisle. But

(00:47):
I didn't I didn't like. Ididn't take inventory of what she was wearing.
So I just was I thought Ithought she looked great. I couldn't
see anything. I was crying somuch. You cry between because it's outside,
between the sun and the tears.It was a blurry ceremony. Did
you cry? I cried at onepoint, but I don't want to mention

(01:11):
it until well, I didn't letme. Let me rephrase, I didn't
cry. I teared up during onepoint, but I don't want to mention
it until tomorrow. Diane's writing anote over Mike Jones. No I didn't
that didn't he cried? Well,I mean doesn't. Didn't that sort of
get you in the gut to No, not at all. I was already

(01:32):
crying. No, not at all. In my mind, I was like,
I've officiated weddings. I didn't cry, Oh my God, of course,
because you're perfect. No, that'snot true, that's not true.
I just I wasn't expecting him tochoke up at that point. I don't
think he did either, he explainedto me. And it's again, it's
weird talking about this when Christen's nothere. But but he told me why

(01:53):
he cried at that point. Imean, it was almost over, but
he something something happened right at thatmoment then made him lose it. Wait,
something happened at that moment, Yes, at that very moment. Yes,
as he said, he made afatal mistake. What is it when
he flipped me off in front ofeverybody? I didn't see that Oh he
was wearing the ceremony hundred percent.He was very subtle. No, no,

(02:16):
not while they were all up theredoing their things. Hey, hold
on, guys. No, butwhen he and Kristen's I was gonna say,
fance. No. When when heand when he was up front with
Mike before the wedding started, heflipped me off, which is like a
thing between Jones and I. No, it is like and it was both

(02:38):
of your day the no. No, it was just like a fun little
bit. But that I don't whatdid he what made him cry? Or
should we not say? I don'twant to take away from what Kristen will
say. Well, she's not gonnaknow. He told me, Well she
knew why, she knew. Hecried. Everybody there we have to stop
down, seriously, have you partof your ob is to do the wedding

(03:00):
without crying. So he got chokedup again. I've officiated. I've officiated
several weddings. Okay, several,Well, maybe you were. Actually he
is another one coming up in December? Does he really? Yeah? Wow?
For who someone who used to workhere? Roach, I can't eli.
I think he's married. The okay, talking about our coworkers. I

(03:23):
certainly don't talk about somebody else's weddingwho we never worked with in that capacity.
Like we wait, so they're nothere anymore. Oh, they're gone,
and Roach is still not Roach.Roach got fired. Jones is still
doing his wedding. Her her wedding. Wait, who it doesn't matter?
But it no, it does.We didn't get invited. We're curious.

(03:43):
Let's talk more about Kristen when she'snot get there, I'll get there.
Whose wedding is he doing? Doyou remember Nia? Anyway? You know
who I'm talking about? Right?Yeah? She works some promotions he did
actually yeah, okay, he wasa lucky guess either had promotions, programming

(04:08):
or sales. He do that closewith her? Is it Philly or did
they hear Philly? Oh oh?Or did they hear like, oh,
we wanta we want to ordain ministerwho cries you? You definitely hold back
a little bit if you knew whathappened in that in that moment, that
moment, and listen, there's nothingwrong with an efficient tearing up. He

(04:31):
just he broke, He broke sowell, and then something happened, something
happened. He made it. Hemade a great mistake. Did I miss
it that he called them by thewrong names. It's not it's not something.
It wasn't a gaff. He I'lltell you. It's not like you're
gonna no. But is it gonnabe sad? Well? It was the
Jones. No, it was hilarious. That's why he cried tears. What

(04:58):
did he cry from? He hesaid, I should have never looked into
the audience because he saw everyone crying. Oh, And I said at him,
Hey, I kept my sunglasses onthe whole time, so he didn't
see me cry. Wait. SoJones is a trigger crier. Yes,
Oh, it's like if somebody vomits. Oh, thank got it. We
didn't go that way, by theway, I don't know. Oh,

(05:19):
I need somebody who could cry oncommand, because I just want somebody to
follow him around Wonderland in a coupleof weeks and just cry and cry.
But a couple of things, acouple of things in note that don't involve
Christen. That don't involve Christen.And it was a beautiful wedding. There's
a beautiful way. I thought everybodylooked good. I thought everybody looked nice.

(05:43):
The I got two people hobbling aroundme. Diane ripped her feet up
before we even got there. Tyler'swalking around like it like he stepped on
himself with blisters. I mean know, you want to see how bad my
blister is. It can't be worsethan the back of Diane's foot, which
looked like no that, but itlooked like the back of your foot was
on the rag like it was bad. I have those patches on me,

(06:05):
dude, move that away, Movethat away. Is that your heel?
Yeah, yeah, Diane's heel isbad. And my toes the I have
so many of those patches on myfeet right now. No, you know,
like that's I just showed Elliott thatdisgusting photo. But hearing about your
remedies. I had to go toCBS yesterday, and you went and bought

(06:29):
band aids on the way to thenice lady the gift shop gave those to
me. They didn't have them forsale, but she's like, but I
have some in my person. Shehanded me a stack and even made it.
That was before I made everybody walkthe wrong way. I'm so proud
of myself for the shortcut, andthen tried to add thirty minutes to the
trip. Oh, I did tryto hijack a golf car. Wow,
yeah, that's my blister. It'spretty bad. Why do you have blisters

(06:53):
that bed from dancing and also thinkingI should walk all of Charleston without socks
on during the day. Oh thatwas even before the wedding it started then,
Oh good, and then I hitthe dance floor. Now I'm in
trouble. A couple of things.Scott told me that he could cross something

(07:15):
awful list of things. He neverthought he'd be able to do this Diane's
husband, obviously. Can we saywhere the wedding was, Yeah, we
could say where the wedding just didthe No, No, we did say.
It was on the US specific yeahyeah, yeah, yeah, No,
No, it was on a Itwas on a aircraft carrier. It
was beautiful, tired, yeah beautiful. Yeah it was yeah. No,

(07:36):
it was nice. It was nice. Couldn't used the extra ceiling fan,
but it was No, it wasnice. It was nice. It was
beautiful. Criticize all you want today, Yeah, you have to look at
the bride tomorrow. No, itwas beautiful. But Scott told me that
he did something that he never thoughthe would ever do, which he took
a dump on an aircraft carrier.Proud moment now that I didn't go on

(08:05):
the aircraft carrier. But I didget yelled at in the hotel for using
the lobby bathroom. Yelled at bywhom the like the people who like cleaned
the hotels. Oh you went backto that really nice hotel downtown Charleston on
King Street. Oh no, no, no, I did pissing Bennett in
the Bennett Hotel. I had togo and I was like, jack I

(08:26):
know exactly where we're going. AndI went to the Hotel Bennett. No,
the hotel that we were staying in. Oh, right, the right
by the ship. Yeah. No. So we got back to the room
and Jackie was like, I'm goingupstairs. I was like, I'll spare
you. So I went into No, I went in to make a duty
in the in the lobby. Butwhile I was and it was one of
the it was a nice bathroom,full door on the stall, there was

(08:52):
no like you couldn't see feet,nothing, full door. And while I
was in there, a woman anda man walked in and as they walked
in, they were like cleaning andthen came in and I was like,
well, I don't care. SoI stayed in there doing my business,
but I wasn't noisy enough that theyheard me. And so finally I was

(09:16):
like, well, now I'm now. Now it's now. It's a staring
contest. One of us is goingto be finished cleaning before the other,
and I couldn't wait anymore. Sofinally I went and pulled the subtle and
pulled the toilet paper, and thenI heard sorry, and they walked out.

(09:37):
And then when I walked out,the woman Granby was like, you
know, you should have said somethingwhen we came in, and I was
like, yeah, but number one, I didn't care, and she said
I do. And then I waslike, well, you were also talking
to your to your workmate and Ididn't want to interrupt. This has turned
into a dialogue now, yeah,because she stood outside the bathroom waiting to

(09:58):
go, and so then she toldme, in the future, you need
to let whoever's coming in know thatthere's someone in here. I was like,
I gotta be honest to me,it was no big deal. You
could have stayed in. I wouldn'thave care. You could have opened the
door and come in while I wasin there, which she did not find
funny. But anyway, so thatwas that. But the and now this

(10:20):
part I didn't see where when wasit that Tyler got propositioned? Oh,
for the threesome. Yeah, itwasn't at the wedding actually, So Scott
was taking a dunk and I waswashing my hands. Now this is back

(10:41):
at the hotel after the wedding.Yeah, because there were a couple hours
where that hotel bar was still open, it still open. I was packed
because there were multiple weddings at thehotel that day. Yeah, right,
so I think there were three weddingsthat took place, so there were a
lot of people. Only one onthe only one on the aircraft carrier,
thank you. That is true.That's true. A spectacular sight. No,

(11:03):
I was just going in to getsome time. I'd been on an
aircraft carricters walking in to get somecoronas, and this man and woman said
to me. First thing they said, They're like, do you want a
party? And I was like,oh, yeah, does that mean dancing?
And I knew immediately did you knowwhat they meant by the amount of

(11:26):
glitter on their faces? The ohwas it a bride? No? No,
no, no, no, ohno no, no, yes,
it was the other briding. No, no, no, no. But
there was one bride that got marriedand I saw her and her husband.
They were wheeling a pizza back totheir room. They had glitter all over
their face. Yeah, a lotof people from that party. Oh okay,
so it was from that wedding,okay, because I almost asked the
groom for a slice of pizza.Be careful if that made me code for

(11:52):
something. So somebody from that wedding, though, asked you if you wanted
to party, Like, yeah,this the man, the man and his
friend or well it was a manand a woman that I don't think.
They definitely weren't a couple. Ohso they were just two singles. They
knew each other, and they wantedto get to know me, no matter
how many times I said, Igotta get this beard of my wife.

(12:16):
When you said, what did youthink? When they said do you want
to party? What? The secondthey said that, I knew they it
wasn't drugs. I knew it wasn'tdrugs. That would have been my first
guest. It was just it wasso sexual the way they asked, oh
really, And I was like,did he expose his penis? No?
But he was like just just Iwant to clear things up. Would you

(12:37):
have thought would you have thought threesome? It was? It was probably not
so I would have thought cocaine.Yeah, awesome. It was that.
It wasn't drugs. I'm telling you. It was erotic. The way I
was asked and talked to them,and they were like they were talking.
I said, I said, well, I'm at a party or something like

(12:58):
that. Din't you tell me wantto party? Oh, I'm at a
party? Silly awesome, because likeI said, I knew exactly like I
picked it up what they were puttingdown without any trouble. And they're like,
oh, so you were you wereat a wedding. I said,
well, yeah, I'm the aircraftcarrier. And they're like that that may

(13:18):
have been fun, but do youwant to have some more fun. Every
everything just went back to like let'skeep it. Yeah dude, yeah.
And I just it was just there'sdid they touch you? No? Did
the girl touch there was like no, Honestly, the person who was more

(13:39):
handsy was the guy. He touchedyou tois no no like brush against it,
like oh let me get your coronawhoops. It was just there was
a lot of body brushing. Letme squeeze this like it's a line.
There were lines in it. Yeah, and what do you mean? There
was a lot of body brushing justin the conversation, like close talking,
almost not close talking. It wasElliott, but right up next to him.

(14:03):
No, see that's like groping.It wasn't an. I didn't feel
violated. I felt that he wasin your space. No. No,
So it's just they clearly wanted totake me, take someone back to a
hotel room. And at that moment, I was like, listen between Atlanta
and Charleston, I am rocking inthe South with a vibe I give off

(14:28):
Tyler's big and low country. Andeventually I got out there and I said
to Lindsay, I was like,did you wonder where I was for like
fifteen minutes? You were in therefor fishing the longest conversation to say no
twice, Well, Lindsay's like,I just thought it was a long line
not to get into their suite.It was just me. Why did they?

(14:52):
But did you give off a signlike a hand signal? No?
No, Like you know how likehad those like white no, no,
you know Colin has like those whiterocks out front so that everybody knows he's
I don't think they're sweating there.Not a couple. So they were just
really fun to have a third likelet's go wobbly h up this girl and

(15:13):
here we go. They knew eachother, I know better than I knew
her the well, I mean,you could have changed. That's on you.
So it was just another part ofthe weekend. It's a great weekend.
And uh they say when you likeexcuse yourself. They were like,
we'll be around like find us.I was like, well, that's not

(15:37):
going to happen because I told youmy wife's here. Did they say bring
her? No? No, no, no, they never. It was
never that. They just they distressedthat they had a room there and all
this stuff Like it was did theyever explicitly come out and say, come
up and have sex with us?Oh come on, no, but you
don't. Elliott, it didn't takemuch to figure you wouldn't. You knew

(16:00):
immediately I told you by the firstway they asked it. I knew it
was not any sort of drug,and I knew it wasn't just to like
continue to hang out with the hotelbar. It was like I think Scott's
got that cover. What's Scott?He went and changed and came back down,
so did the bride. That wasthat's good though, that's good.

(16:26):
That's a good highlight. Oh thatwas yeah. And then got to go
back to Albert Cafe, went overto the Isle of Palms and I went
back to Hotel Bennett to relieve myself. And then god damn it, Diane,
So you left before us yesterday?You had earlier. I was like
a nice try, lame o.You definitely left Saturday night before I did.

(16:49):
No, No, the flight,yes to come home. Yeah,
we had an early flat. Yeah. Did you see who Diane saw at
the airport? I saw the textone the sykeseses right there. How about
that? I didn't even see hergetting on a flight to Philly? How
about that? Yeah, But weweren't sitting sitting by each We didn't see
them until we got on the plane. Oh really, Yeah, we weren't

(17:10):
seated by each other before the Wellthey got there three hours before no light.
No, we had an hour afterwe got to the gate. We
had an hour before we had theboard. So we went to the Jack
Nicholas Cathay and had a little breakfast. Jack and I walked in and walked
right to the plane. It wouldhave been hilarious because my flight was about
two hours or four years. IfI saw Diana and Scott, it was
probably close. It was probably whatI mean, like, saw them in

(17:34):
the lobby checking out at the hotel. Probably didn't miss by much. But
yeah, one the sights, Ihad no idea. I had no clues
she was there. Do you havea house down there? I don't.
Did she have a show? Theonly thing I know is she was not
at the wedding. Okay, That'sall I know. And she also wasn't
in the bathroom at the hotel Bennett, or in the one where I got

(17:55):
yelled at for making a poopy.Maybe it was a corporate thing. They
could have been. Yeah, no, very well could have been. And
then the rest of it I'll getinto tomorrow when Christen gets back. But
it was awesome. It was great. It was very very nice. Kristen's
new uncle. How do you callthat new uncle? What do you mean
by by marriage? Yeah? Soyeah, Mike's uncle. Yeah yeah,

(18:18):
Mike's uncle who Kristen now is relatedto. That's my new best friend,
that's my boy. A family welike because his daughter works for WWE.
Oh, you should apologize to her. I did the next night because like
I promise, no wrestling talk.I talked to her. Her story's fascinating

(18:42):
about how she ended up working forWWE. And then I was like,
oh, you should meet Tyler,and so I told Tyler and a couple
of times during the com I don'teven remember who I was talking to,
but a couple of times during theconversation you would hear her go, oh
you are a fan over like she'dprobably at five or six times like oh
you really know, you really watchAnd Tyler's like, I'm sorry butt,

(19:06):
and she'd be like, no,that's okay, but she's got a cool
job. She got an awesome job. Yeah. So anyway, it was.
It was awesome. Kristen did great, Mike did great, everybody was good.