November 25, 2025 • 33 mins
Shopping addiction, Black Friday, and more.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Do we know anybody that has ever been diagnosed with
onia onio mania, anio mania, oneo anio mania, it's o
nio anio or oneo.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I don't even know what that word is.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Mania.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Is this known by something else?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Yes, compulsive buying shopping disorder?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Ow you hear about this? But do we know anyone?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I know? Uh? I know someone who had it. My
buddy's wife.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Like diagnosed and everything.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Uh oh, she had it. I don't know if she
was diagnosed with it?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Did you diagnose her with it?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Her husband did bad?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Did you believe it? Or was he just upset with
some purchases?
Speaker 3 (00:47):
No?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Oh no, No, it went beyond people.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
And then there's like.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
No, no, Like I'm talking tens of tens and tens
of thousands of.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Dollars and we're just like the typical. It would just
be still in the bags, never worn, that kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
More hidden, oh, like the It's not like he would
get home and there would be like bags from I
can't even think Athleta or Lulu Lemon or whatever, just
laying around with stuff that wasn't in it. It was
more hidden than that. But once once it all came
(01:24):
to ahead, there was stuff all over the place that
still had like tags on it. And it wasn't just like,
it wasn't just clothes. It was all kinds of crack.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
It's just the act of the purchase. Yes, there's like
a little rush they get.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
And living on and so so anyway, I was reading
I was reading this, and I think the reason the article, well,
the article stuck out for two reasons. Number one, obviously
Black Friday and Black Friday deals were going out, so
there's a million shopping things going on. But also because
my buddy's wife was like this. And by the way,
I say, like my buddy's wife, it's not just women,
(01:58):
it's men.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Also, is it a fifty split.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I don't know what the split is. You want to say, no, no, no,
let me.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Let me finish a little bit old fashionate.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
It is. No, it is because I was gonna say,
traditionally you just think, well, there she goes running off
and spending all my money. Again. Now, in my buddy's case,
that was true, right, But I'm saying I don't. I
know that's not the case. I but when I say, yeah,
I bet that there's more women. I think that's just
because traditionally that's where the head goes.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Did they have like a shared credit card or is
this totally unbeknownst to him?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
She did all the accounty. Okay, yeah, well I told
Jackie could rob me blind, I would have no idea.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
So Dian, though, sort of brought up something that I
wasn't overly familiar with. It's not the obtaining of the stuff,
it's just the purchasing.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
It's both. Yeah, it's that high. It's I don't know
if it's I don't know if a doctor will tell
you it's a dopamine rush. But it's that same hot that's.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
The feel good chemical in your brain, right.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, that you get from like gambling, right.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Okay, but it's at the register that that registers to
use the same word.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
No, it's both. It's if you bring.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
It home and it's still in it's tags and bags
and plastic, like, you clearly receive no joy from it
at home.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
No, but you bought it, but it's the same thing
that the same thing buying it online. You're buying it.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I didn't know it just ended there though.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Oh maybe there are some people that use it for
a little bit.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
If you use it, is it a different diagnosis.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
No, you still bought it. I'm not a doctor, but
you can't use it if you don't buy it. They said,
it's very hard to treat.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I would imagine where are your friend's.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Wife, Well, they are still together. It was really really hard,
but it was the debt. The oh in a big
way paying down the debt. There was a lot of
like she had to start talking to somebody.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
I'm glad to hear that, and then like, but can't
can't make any Here's where here's where it gets difficult, like,
can't make any purchases like they said a number, like
can't make any purchases above whatever without consulting.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
But my buddy was like, so instead of buying something
that costs five hundred dollars, she'll just go out and
buy one hundred things that cost five dollars. So they
had to they had to figure that out also, so
every purchase had to go through him.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
So is the price tag more of the focus or
is the valume of purchases that.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I don't know the goal? Christian, will you find me
somebody please? And then I'll tell you the hard part
about it. And by the way, it's not just married
or couples. You can be living by yourself and have
this and then there's nobody that that you're you're worried about. Yes, Christa,
will you find me somebody that that either has it,
(05:07):
had it, or know someone who has it. By the way,
now that I think about it, I have another buddy
who I'm not real close with, but his chick did
the same.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Thing, not to the same not to the same degree.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
But did the exact same thing, did the exact same thing.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I guess the's two but.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Like just thousands of dollars, thousands and thousands and thousands
of dollars.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
What exactly makes it though the disorder? Because there there
are people who have the money and buy a lot
of stuff who maybe aren't on this. Would you say
compulsive buying spectrum.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Compulsive buying shopping disorder?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I don't think it's the fact that maybe you don't
have the money that leads to the diagnosis. So if
someone is extremely.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Wealthy, you're still out of control. But at what.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Point do you step over that line when it becomes
a problem. Is it when you have stuff at home
that you're not using.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Everybody has stuff at home they're not using.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Elliott No, that's true. I'm not a compulsive buyer. I
also don't think I have stuff at home not using.
But if you have stuff that is still you don't have.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
A shirt at home you've never worn? No, really, no,
I do. I have a Bob Saggot sweatshirt, although I
didn't buy it.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I had to bring it up then.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
No, No, I'm sure I have a shirt at home
that I've never worn.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
You have an entire room full of gifts you've never used.
That doesn't make you a compulsive buyer.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
I'm not a no I buy any I'm crue s.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
The receiver over the Christian.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Will you find me somebody who either knows someone is
someone used to be someone who who? Who? Who deals
with this? Please? Eight six six to Elliott eight six
six two five five four six eight. But what they
were saying is, oh, so here's let me give you.
Let me give you one example, and then I'll tell
(07:08):
you why this. Like, for example, if you if you're
if you haven't a if you have a drug addiction, right,
they will, and I'm going I'm going to minimize it.
And I'm not doing that intentionally, but in order to
beat that. Obviously there is a lot of work that
goes into it. But you know I can't do drugs.
(07:31):
If you're an alcoholic, you know I can't drink. It's
impossible to go through your life without spending any money. Sure,
So even if you are even if you are somebody
that is a compulsive buying shopping disorder person and you're
still not buying I don't what to call it, treats.
(07:54):
I don't know what else to call it, you still
have to spend money, right, So the whole again, if
you're an alcoholic, and I'm not minimizing it, you just
don't drink. Not that that's not hard, but you just
don't do it.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
You're saying the ultimate goal is to not.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Drink alcohol, exactly right. And if you're a drug addict,
the ultimate goal is to not do drugs. You still
have to spend money.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
That can't be your end game.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
You have to buy. You still there are things you
still have to buy. There are going to be times
where you just can't go, hey, go buy this, I
want a sandwich. You can't be at work and go,
like I want to say, maybe you bring your your food.
But there's going to be times you have to spend money.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Noah, I think you just have to like really police yourself.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
For a long time, I thought I did it to
make myself feel better. I work hard, I deserve that.
Sometimes it would be something that I actually needed, others
it wasn't. I'd buy whatever I was horny for and
I would get a rush and ease my hunger. And
then as I walked away from the cash register or
(09:00):
walked out of the store, I would feel shame for
what I just did.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
So that's immediate. M hm, Well, then return it.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I'm glad you said that. Sometimes, when I was too
ashamed to return to the store to get my money back,
I'd sell the items I'd bought, but only for a practice,
a fraction of what they were worth. Whatever it took
to keep up the appearance that I was okay and
that I had a grip on my life.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Wow, scary.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
I'm now on medication that allows me to be common
enough to use my coping tools. But when I'm feeling
depressed or down, I'd find myself scrolling Amazon or Facebook
marketplace like a john looking for a date.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
So when he talked about was that he or she?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Who's that?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
That was referenced in that piece you just read.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Honestly, I have no idea. It was just somebody who
has it.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I just think more men would do this, not like you.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Oh. I assumed it was a chick, I know.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Because just that. So when he said some of the
things he actually needed, so that still counts against you.
If you're suffering from this, you still.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Get the rush of buying it.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
But you had to buy it. It sounded like like
does he get a rush from going to the grocery store?
Speaker 6 (10:26):
I see.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I didn't interpret it as like food and stuff like that,
like something I needed, I know, like not even like
deodorant and toothpaste. I looked at it as like, hey,
I'm I'm making this up, by the way, because I
don't know I'm going to I have to go. I
have to go to some event. I need to buy
a shirt or something like that. So I needed it.
But I didn't look at it as.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
It like or you could nobody and you already have exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Nobody's horny going to get deodorant. That's how I interpreted it.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
And how long did this person or does this person
say they've been diagnosed years or not diagnosed but suffering
dealing with it?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Oh, yeah, self made his repeat, heaped on top of
my tremt. Here we go. Before I started going to therapy,
I hadn't found anyone that I could talk to about it,
because most people go like, hey, moron, just don't spend
the money. Hey, stupid, you don't need it, don't buy it.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
So he did talk to you first, or SHEI.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
I'd white knuckle it a lot of the time, reminding myself, crap,
I need to pay rent.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
And think it.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
I mean, go back. It used to be to shop
it required you to go somewhere. Now all you have
to do is open your phone. Oh yeah, and you
can dangerous thousands of dollars and seconds. By the way,
my buddy, my buddy's wife. Yeah, so they had a
they had.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
A joint Amazon on account. He had to so she's
off of it. He changed his password so she can't
get on it without asking. He won't tell her the password.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
But for the person that you read about.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Oh wait, that's a good idea.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
They were so specific about the interaction with the cashier.
Do some people not get that same rush online?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Probably?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I feel like there's something to the tangible purchase.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Oh absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
And like you said, this time you write I.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Wanted gambling, but I would rather well, never mind.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Elliot, but she's been getting like black you know Black
Friday deals emails for months now, and it's always in
your face.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Yeah. I almost bought a pair of jeans yesterday.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Oh, the Green Ones not doing it for you anymore?
Speaker 1 (12:49):
No, I still like my Green Ones, but I've never
heard of the brand you want. You want to know
what my real problem is, I can't find I don't
like the the I don't wear jeans a lot, but
the one pair of jeans that I have that I
could with ugs because it's hard to get jeans over
the lip of.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
The ugs, I don't you're not tucking I am.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Not tucking them in. I need jeans that go over it.
But I don't like the jeans I have, so I
was looking at a different pair of jeens.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
You need, like a bootleg or Jenko.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
That's what I'm looking for a pair of jeans that
I could wear over ugs that don't look ridiculous. Where
am I going mine too?
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Let's in the Amazon is looking at those seats queries
like what the hell?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Hi, Elliott the morning, Yeah, Hi, who's this.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Is Brismand I called in a while ago when you
were asking for officiants. I actually divorced my ex wife
because she had she had a compulsive spending problem.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Oh, I totally I totally get it. I totally get it. Hey,
let me ask you this, how bad like when at
its peak? How bad was it?
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Well? When we finally split, we had to sort through
two different storage units of things she had bought, which
included a bunch of pet supplies which we did not
own pets. I mean, I had so much dog down
to the animal shelter to donate.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
It wasn't funny so waiting. So did you? Were you
unaware that she had even rented two storage facilities for stuff?
Speaker 3 (14:26):
I had no idea. We our finances were both together
and separate. We each had her own accounts, but we
had a joint one for bills and everything, which she
constantly paid her portion, but all the rest of her
money just disappeared and never had anything to put towards
(14:46):
anything else. I didn't think about it because I was
always working all the time. We were very young. Probably
shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, but I
let her do her thing. I did mine, And then
eventually things started to sleep, and I started getting bills
or places that weren't getting paid. So when I looked
into it, I started finding a bunch of credit cards
(15:08):
that were in her name and my name that I
didn't sign up for. Yes, I found the storage units.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
It was ridiculous, by the way, That's how my buddy
ended up busting. His wife was like she she handled
all the accounting right, and so he didn't know. And
the same thing, you know what, you trust somebody, so
you're not you're not eyeballing everything, you're not thinking about it.
And they were on joint accounts, but he didn't have
anything to do with it. But he started getting bills
(15:35):
in the mail where it was like, hey, this is
sixty days past two, this is ninety days past due.
And he would he would even ask her what the hell,
and she would cover it up, you know, like a
like you know, oh, I don't.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Know what that.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
They must all take care of it. Let me call
them stupid credit card company. And then he would get
more bills and he would be like, I don't even
understand what's going on, Like it makes no sense. It's
I think that at one point they were close to
losing like power that not power, but like utilities and
stuff is crazy.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Yeah, it's it's scary. It's something you you you well,
you're supposed to be trusting someone, you're supposed they're supposed
to be partners.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
In it, and then.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Puld the rug up from underneath you. Clicker's come to
get the road?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Hey, how how how much in debt was she?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
I think the final number was like eight thousand dollars
or something like that.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
You cut out there for a thing. Did you say
you're eighty eighty thousand dollars? Yep?
Speaker 3 (16:44):
God damn all on her.
Speaker 6 (16:45):
Now.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
A couple of years ago we finally finalized a divorce
and got all the debt straightened out.
Speaker 6 (16:50):
But it's one hundred percent of it's on her.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
You didn't have to absorb any of her debt, did you?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Nope?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Good? Did you try to work it out? Or were
you like, I can't do this.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
We tried to work it out for about a year.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
She did go to therapy.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
They did give her a medication that supposed to help her.
But I found bags of those pills like hidden around
the house where she was just kind of like cheeking them,
and then when I wasn't looking, she'd spin them out right, Yeah, well,
found more receipts, new credit cards. It wasn't working and
(17:29):
I couldn't handle the financial stress anymore in the line.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
So yeah, no, you're happy. Now, good for you. I
hope she's all right.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Last I heard she is remarried out in Tennessee somewhere.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Good. All right, dude, I appreciate it. Thank you. Could
you imagine, sucker, could you have no Could you imagine
you find out you find out that Lindsay has two
storage units full of crap that you had no idea?
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Well, yes, that would be bad. But then when we
were discussing wants and knee I wasn't thinking not needing
something meant literally, there's no need because you don't have
a pet.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yeah, Like that wasn't even a class of purchases I consider. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, now that I think about it, me neither. Yeah.
Why would I be thinking that? Why would I be
thinking like, oh, we need a lot of pet food? Wow?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I make take shoes and outfits all day, like frivolous,
something that you will never need in the moment. Hi
Elliott in the morning, I guess you could get a dog.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
I Hi, who's this? Hi? Hey? What's going on, dude?
Speaker 6 (18:46):
Oh not much, man, I'm stuck from eyes Andrea, manager
of the parlor.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
So, I have a shopping addiction from hell. I mean
I ordered things that I don't need. I have a
I have a storage unit full of clothes that I've
never worn.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
You do?
Speaker 6 (19:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Are you being serious?
Speaker 6 (19:06):
Or you are?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Are you doing a bit?
Speaker 3 (19:07):
I'm I'm being dead serious.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Yes, I'm gonna guess you're not married. You don't have
a family.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
No, so I had, I was engaged, but my fiance
passed away. And no, it's okay.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
But and I was looking for happiness in all the
wrong places.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
That's where my.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Shopping addiction really really amps up.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Are you are you getting help for it at all?
I don't know what's the last thing you bought? Uh?
Speaker 3 (19:38):
A wide hat? I had fifty six wide hats.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
And you just put them in storage. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
I have like six that I sacred here at the
house and then the rest of the storage.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yeah. Are you in debt?
Speaker 6 (19:54):
No?
Speaker 1 (19:55):
How are you not in debt?
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Because I work and then I sell cars on the side.
You know, it keeps me busy. My my problem?
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Yeah? But you but can you can you in a moment,
can you look at yourself and go, I know I
have I recognize I have a problem. I'm not saying
it's stop it, but you realize you have a problem. Yes,
one hundred percent isn't. Do you go through the part
where there's any regret or shame afterwards, where you're like,
(20:29):
I wish I could have so much more money in
the bank or whatever? Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
I'm like I could have. I could have spent this
money on a house by it, or or a vacation
or you know, something else.
Speaker 6 (20:49):
But could should have?
Speaker 3 (20:53):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Do you want, like, do you want to fix it?
I do?
Speaker 3 (20:59):
I do, but it's I'm a compulsive and impulsive buyer,
so I don't really know how to you know what
I mean?
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Do you shop online or do you go to stores?
Speaker 3 (21:11):
I shop online?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
So you just you just sit there and scroll Amazon
and just shop non stop. Yep. If I looked at
your past orders, would I just would I fall on
the floor in disbelief? Yes?
Speaker 3 (21:26):
You would.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Does he bring up something though that many people would
have in common where it was used as sort of
therapy to deal with something else, and then it started
to spiral.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Yeah, but isn't that the person who quits drugs but
starts drinking.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
No, his fiance dying is not quitting drugs.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
No, no, but just replacing, just replacing something.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Well, he almost sounds like it was used to grieve,
it was bringing him happiness.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Is that how it started?
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Yeah, that's how it started.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, I got you. Yeah, yeah, I guess that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
So when he goes to that storage space, you know,
we're talking about that high immediately when you buy something.
But does he find happiness in seeing all that unworn
clothes or does it they should just.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Look like a pile of money. You're not happy yet?
Speaker 5 (22:22):
No?
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Well, when I when I when I see the storage
and I'm like crap.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Yeah. So it doesn't make you feel like, oh this
makes me remember her?
Speaker 6 (22:33):
No, not at all.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
No, it just makes you feel like, what am.
Speaker 6 (22:36):
I doing with my life's while?
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Why am I not saving this money?
Speaker 1 (22:41):
And what? Yeah? No, I have a problem for sure.
And you wouldn't get the same satisfaction of going to
a bank and handing the person the money and going
put this in I you know what, I just bought it.
I just bought a savings account.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Not at all, he should see out some what on
what help.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Do your Does anybody in your family know?
Speaker 3 (23:07):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, everyone knows?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
And are they like encouraging you to get help?
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Well, everybody's encouraging to get He why I'm encouraging him
to get help?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
They they they don't think it's it's that much of
a problem. They they because because I can afford it.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (23:30):
And they know about the storage, but they.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Say, that's the problem is people that have the like
they even point out, like you can have millionaires who
have the same problem, but nobody bats an eyelash because
they go, ah, they can afford it, it's no big deal,
and they don't realize it's I'm trying to like nobody knows,
and so nobody thinks it's a problem. Oh yeah, he's
(23:52):
you know what, he buys a lot of crap. But
you know he's got all that money. You know, you
got to spend it.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
On something, right, exactly exactly.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Who just asked you about hookers?
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Oh like my co workers?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Oh, hey, do they know? Do they know that you've
got a spending problem? He does?
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Right, How do you buy something every single day of
the week? I do? I do I do, Yeah, I do.
Speaker 6 (24:30):
If I have, I've something every day and I.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Like, I'll try to I try to stop myself. I'll
be like, okay, today I'm not buying anything. Say I'm
not buying anything, and then something will pop up in
my feed. The marketing is genius, and I'll be.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Like, I need that.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
I don't have that color?
Speaker 6 (24:52):
You know right now?
Speaker 3 (24:54):
I hear you.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
I hear you. Yeah you should. Probably you should probably
find somebody to talk to, Like, how I just make
that so easy?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
No?
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I know, But what I'm like, what am I going
to tell them? You want me to send over a
list of things you can buy for me? Yeah? Sure, yeah,
may as well?
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Maybe for him it starts with reducing screen time and
social media.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
That's how Yeah that would be. That would be a.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Big one, getting cooked.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah, but then what is he supposed to do? Well,
you can watch TV. You can watch TV.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
They don't market on TV, right the No, Well, that's
what I mean, Like, what did what did you gonna
sit there and read?
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (25:33):
God, the.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Compulsively buy stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I'd rather be eighty thousand dollars in debts than to
read all right, hey, dude, best of luck, all right,
my friend. Hey, you got to talk to you later.
See that's rough. What am I supposed to say to.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
The guy now? But we tried to give him some ideas.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Yeah, buy for me.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
I didn't know you had set up a shop.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
The I'll just tell him what. Maybe he can find
me some jeans. Fine five, Hi, Yelly in the morning.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Oh you want him to be a personal shower? Yeah,
but with his his money?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yeah no, Well he gets no satisfying your jeans with
his money. Well, instead of having to keep putting everything,
he's got to go to the stores here and he
can just ship it to me. Hi, Yellie in the morning.
Speaker 6 (26:24):
Elliot, how you doing good?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Who's this.
Speaker 6 (26:27):
Jean?
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah? What's going on?
Speaker 5 (26:28):
Dude?
Speaker 6 (26:30):
Yeah? So uh uh yeah, you could say I have
a spending half. I was over three quarters of a
million dollars in debt.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
No way, that's seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
Speaker 6 (26:42):
Yeah no, yeah, yeah. I bought a house down in
in Charles County, and uh, I would just go out
and I would buy whatever whatever I wanted. And I
go out in the day and spend six seven thousand
dollars on on stereo equipment. I my wife hated when
(27:08):
I go on to all the best buy For instance,
I bought, uh, I spent seven thousand dollars to have
a home theater system built in my bedroom and I'm.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Sorry, in your bedroom, in your bedroom.
Speaker 6 (27:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (27:25):
My mother in law hated me at the time, No kidding,
I intentionally did. I did everything I could to make
sure she she uh, she kept the hate up because
I didn't. I couldn't stand her living with me, so
she she pretty much said she lived right under our bedroom.
And at that day, not that I was trying to
be mean to her, but yeah, you were, she yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
You were.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
You spent seven thousand.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Dollars for sound sound, yeah exactly.
Speaker 6 (27:53):
And then the stereo. I had a home theater system
out in my living room that was probably about two
three thousand watts, So I spent about twenty five grand
on that. And you know, friends will come over and
she has she just hated loud noise, you know. And
I had wood floors in the living room, so when
you turned it up, I mean you could hear It's
probably two or three blocks down the street. Wow, And
(28:16):
so you could you couldn't hear it. Now she's like
turning down. I'm like, what you know, so she couldn't
you know I had I had, uh you know most
people don't have, you know, your front channel subworfers and
all that. I had two fifteen inch sir Win Vega
front channels, and uh so when I turned it out,
the base on it was was just incredibly deep. And
(28:40):
I had overkilling everything I did. And but let me
a lot in the day I had I had the
stereo place out of my house at one o'clock in
the morning, drilling into the ceiling, hooking speakers up. You know,
they were there will probably two or three o'clock in
the morning.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
By the way, great service, great service. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Was he addicted or just petty? Yeah? It was all
because if she wasn't there, would you have done the
same thing?
Speaker 6 (29:08):
Yeah? I mean, I you know, I had an addiction
with stereo equipment, you know, like home home theater, you know,
and I still do. I mean, I'm not as bad
today as I was then, But my god, I mean
I had so much stereo equipment it was it was unreal.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
By the way, just as just as a total side note,
total side note, there are a lot of holiday savings
right now. At Gramophone. I just point that out. Okay,
the so but wait, are you still married to this woman?
Speaker 6 (29:36):
No? No, I that ended in twenty eleven. Yeah, I
found out she was cheating on me, and yeah, I
divorced her. I had to. I gave them both of
the boot because I couldn't take it anymore. And Uh,
I've since then, I've remarried to Uh, I've upgraded, in
other words, and I'm happier.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Are you still but you said, are you still?
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Like?
Speaker 1 (30:04):
I mean, I don't know how many more, like unless
you're going to build your house out of speakers, the like?
But are you still? Are you still spending a lot?
Speaker 6 (30:12):
Now? Not the way I used to? I've I'm not.
I mean, when I was younger, I had the desire
to want to do that. But once you've had it,
and and you know, I mean, you kind of lose
the luster for it. I mean, I bought my wife
a car, what was it five years ago? I bought
(30:32):
her Explore s T And I just told the dealership,
I said, just get it ready for me. I'll be
by the night to pick it up. And you know,
when I sat in the finance office, the ladies's like, well,
I don't know if you want to know what the
payment is, A lady, I don't care what the payment is,
you know. And and they're like, well, it's eleven hundred
and fifty dollars, you know, And I'm like a month.
Speaker 5 (30:54):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 6 (30:57):
Yeah, I got about two and a half more years
and I'm not liking the payment too much.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Oh my god, So wait a minute, are you still
so at your peak? You were seven hundred and fifty
thousand dollars in debt? Are you have you have you
climbed out from from much of that? Oh?
Speaker 6 (31:17):
No, no, I had to bankrupt the debt. I got
you because my ex wife. Yeah, my my ex wife,
she she did me dirty. I had to get I
had to climb off from under the debt because when
she was cheating on me, I spent so much money,
not only on myself, put on her. I was into
a house with her. Luckily, my lawyer had found out
(31:42):
a lot of stuff about her. And you know, I
bought her a tahoe and I mean I wrote a
check for fifteen grand just to put a deposit down
on the truck. And I found out a couple of
her friends that you know, she was driving these guys
around and the new truck. And when I found out,
I came home from a job interview and somebody, one
(32:05):
of her friends called me and they said, I'm just
letting you know she's met somebody. I almost drove the
tahoe through the front door of my house. I'd want
right up to the front with the bedroom door, and
I said, I'm just going to ask you this one time.
What's his name? And I grabbed your phone and I'm
I scrolled through. I said, well, I hope this guy's
worth it, because you're not going to have any of
(32:27):
this stuff. So I literally when when she moved out,
she she took the tags off of the truck that
I bought her. One of the one of the neighbors
came up and said, hey, man, I love the tires
on the tahoe. I'll give you five hundred dollars for him.
I said, I female brother in law looked at one another,
(32:48):
but okay, yeah, the whole truck.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Yeah that's awesome.
Speaker 6 (32:56):
Well, considering I paid sixty five grand for yeah, I
mean you don't.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Care about no car payment. I mean you care about
that one you got now.
Speaker 6 (33:05):
Well, considering that one was only eight hundred dollars compared
to this one.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Yeah, Jesus Christ, maybe your new obsession should be smaller cars.
Speaker 6 (33:15):
Yeah all right, bro, I wouldn't trade this. I wouldn't
trade this one for the world.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
But I got a car, right not wife? Yeah, I gotcha?
All right, Very good, very good. I appreciate it, Thank you, sir.
Oh my god, quite the story.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Imagine eleven hundred dollars a month of car payment. No, no,
I can't, I can't, but a lot of his spending.
So was the caller before it was. I don't like
it was two guys formed out of grief, someone dying.
The last caller wanted someone to do He just pissed
Do we know anybody that has ever been diagnosed with
onia onio mania, anio mania, oneo anio mania, it's o
nio anio or oneo.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I don't even know what that word is.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Mania.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Is this known by something else?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Yes, compulsive buying shopping disorder?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Ow you hear about this? But do we know anyone?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I know? Uh? I know someone who had it. My
buddy's wife.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Like diagnosed and everything.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Uh oh, she had it. I don't know if she
was diagnosed with it?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Did you diagnose her with it?
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Her husband did bad?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Did you believe it? Or was he just upset with
some purchases?
Speaker 3 (00:47):
No?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Oh no, No, it went beyond people.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
And then there's like.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
No, no, Like I'm talking tens of tens and tens
of thousands of.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Dollars and we're just like the typical. It would just
be still in the bags, never worn, that kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
More hidden, oh, like the It's not like he would
get home and there would be like bags from I
can't even think Athleta or Lulu Lemon or whatever, just
laying around with stuff that wasn't in it. It was
more hidden than that. But once once it all came
(01:24):
to ahead, there was stuff all over the place that
still had like tags on it. And it wasn't just like,
it wasn't just clothes. It was all kinds of crack.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
It's just the act of the purchase. Yes, there's like
a little rush they get.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
And living on and so so anyway, I was reading
I was reading this, and I think the reason the article, well,
the article stuck out for two reasons. Number one, obviously
Black Friday and Black Friday deals were going out, so
there's a million shopping things going on. But also because
my buddy's wife was like this. And by the way,
I say, like my buddy's wife, it's not just women,
(01:58):
it's men.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Also, is it a fifty split.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I don't know what the split is. You want to say, no, no, no,
let me.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Let me finish a little bit old fashionate.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
It is. No, it is because I was gonna say,
traditionally you just think, well, there she goes running off
and spending all my money. Again. Now, in my buddy's case,
that was true, right, But I'm saying I don't. I
know that's not the case. I but when I say, yeah,
I bet that there's more women. I think that's just
because traditionally that's where the head goes.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Did they have like a shared credit card or is
this totally unbeknownst to him?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
She did all the accounty. Okay, yeah, well I told
Jackie could rob me blind, I would have no idea.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
So Dian, though, sort of brought up something that I
wasn't overly familiar with. It's not the obtaining of the stuff,
it's just the purchasing.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
It's both. Yeah, it's that high. It's I don't know
if it's I don't know if a doctor will tell
you it's a dopamine rush. But it's that same hot that's.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
The feel good chemical in your brain, right.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, that you get from like gambling, right.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Okay, but it's at the register that that registers to
use the same word.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
No, it's both. It's if you bring.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
It home and it's still in it's tags and bags
and plastic, like, you clearly receive no joy from it
at home.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
No, but you bought it, but it's the same thing
that the same thing buying it online. You're buying it.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I didn't know it just ended there though.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Oh maybe there are some people that use it for
a little bit.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
If you use it, is it a different diagnosis.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
No, you still bought it. I'm not a doctor, but
you can't use it if you don't buy it. They said,
it's very hard to treat.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I would imagine where are your friend's.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Wife, Well, they are still together. It was really really hard,
but it was the debt. The oh in a big
way paying down the debt. There was a lot of
like she had to start talking to somebody.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
I'm glad to hear that, and then like, but can't
can't make any Here's where here's where it gets difficult, like,
can't make any purchases like they said a number, like
can't make any purchases above whatever without consulting.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
But my buddy was like, so instead of buying something
that costs five hundred dollars, she'll just go out and
buy one hundred things that cost five dollars. So they
had to they had to figure that out also, so
every purchase had to go through him.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
So is the price tag more of the focus or
is the valume of purchases that.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I don't know the goal? Christian, will you find me
somebody please? And then I'll tell you the hard part
about it. And by the way, it's not just married
or couples. You can be living by yourself and have
this and then there's nobody that that you're you're worried about. Yes, Christa,
will you find me somebody that that either has it,
(05:07):
had it, or know someone who has it. By the way,
now that I think about it, I have another buddy
who I'm not real close with, but his chick did
the same.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Thing, not to the same not to the same degree.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
But did the exact same thing, did the exact same thing.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I guess the's two but.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Like just thousands of dollars, thousands and thousands and thousands
of dollars.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
What exactly makes it though the disorder? Because there there
are people who have the money and buy a lot
of stuff who maybe aren't on this. Would you say
compulsive buying spectrum.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Compulsive buying shopping disorder?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I don't think it's the fact that maybe you don't
have the money that leads to the diagnosis. So if
someone is extremely.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Wealthy, you're still out of control. But at what.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Point do you step over that line when it becomes
a problem. Is it when you have stuff at home
that you're not using.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Everybody has stuff at home they're not using.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Elliott No, that's true. I'm not a compulsive buyer. I
also don't think I have stuff at home not using.
But if you have stuff that is still you don't have.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
A shirt at home you've never worn? No, really, no,
I do. I have a Bob Saggot sweatshirt, although I
didn't buy it.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I had to bring it up then.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
No, No, I'm sure I have a shirt at home
that I've never worn.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
You have an entire room full of gifts you've never used.
That doesn't make you a compulsive buyer.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
I'm not a no I buy any I'm crue s.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
The receiver over the Christian.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Will you find me somebody who either knows someone is
someone used to be someone who who? Who? Who deals
with this? Please? Eight six six to Elliott eight six
six two five five four six eight. But what they
were saying is, oh, so here's let me give you.
Let me give you one example, and then I'll tell
(07:08):
you why this. Like, for example, if you if you're
if you haven't a if you have a drug addiction, right,
they will, and I'm going I'm going to minimize it.
And I'm not doing that intentionally, but in order to
beat that. Obviously there is a lot of work that
goes into it. But you know I can't do drugs.
(07:31):
If you're an alcoholic, you know I can't drink. It's
impossible to go through your life without spending any money. Sure,
So even if you are even if you are somebody
that is a compulsive buying shopping disorder person and you're
still not buying I don't what to call it, treats.
(07:54):
I don't know what else to call it, you still
have to spend money, right, So the whole again, if
you're an alcoholic, and I'm not minimizing it, you just
don't drink. Not that that's not hard, but you just
don't do it.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
You're saying the ultimate goal is to not.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Drink alcohol, exactly right. And if you're a drug addict,
the ultimate goal is to not do drugs. You still
have to spend money.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
That can't be your end game.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
You have to buy. You still there are things you
still have to buy. There are going to be times
where you just can't go, hey, go buy this, I
want a sandwich. You can't be at work and go,
like I want to say, maybe you bring your your food.
But there's going to be times you have to spend money.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Noah, I think you just have to like really police yourself.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
For a long time, I thought I did it to
make myself feel better. I work hard, I deserve that.
Sometimes it would be something that I actually needed, others
it wasn't. I'd buy whatever I was horny for and
I would get a rush and ease my hunger. And
then as I walked away from the cash register or
(09:00):
walked out of the store, I would feel shame for
what I just did.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
So that's immediate. M hm, Well, then return it.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I'm glad you said that. Sometimes, when I was too
ashamed to return to the store to get my money back,
I'd sell the items I'd bought, but only for a practice,
a fraction of what they were worth. Whatever it took
to keep up the appearance that I was okay and
that I had a grip on my life.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Wow, scary.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
I'm now on medication that allows me to be common
enough to use my coping tools. But when I'm feeling
depressed or down, I'd find myself scrolling Amazon or Facebook
marketplace like a john looking for a date.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
So when he talked about was that he or she?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Who's that?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
That was referenced in that piece you just read.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Honestly, I have no idea. It was just somebody who
has it.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I just think more men would do this, not like you.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Oh. I assumed it was a chick, I know.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Because just that. So when he said some of the
things he actually needed, so that still counts against you.
If you're suffering from this, you still.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Get the rush of buying it.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
But you had to buy it. It sounded like like
does he get a rush from going to the grocery store?
Speaker 6 (10:26):
I see.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I didn't interpret it as like food and stuff like that,
like something I needed, I know, like not even like
deodorant and toothpaste. I looked at it as like, hey,
I'm I'm making this up, by the way, because I
don't know I'm going to I have to go. I
have to go to some event. I need to buy
a shirt or something like that. So I needed it.
But I didn't look at it as.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
It like or you could nobody and you already have exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Nobody's horny going to get deodorant. That's how I interpreted it.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
And how long did this person or does this person
say they've been diagnosed years or not diagnosed but suffering
dealing with it?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Oh, yeah, self made his repeat, heaped on top of
my tremt. Here we go. Before I started going to therapy,
I hadn't found anyone that I could talk to about it,
because most people go like, hey, moron, just don't spend
the money. Hey, stupid, you don't need it, don't buy it.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
So he did talk to you first, or SHEI.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
I'd white knuckle it a lot of the time, reminding myself, crap,
I need to pay rent.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
And think it.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
I mean, go back. It used to be to shop
it required you to go somewhere. Now all you have
to do is open your phone. Oh yeah, and you
can dangerous thousands of dollars and seconds. By the way,
my buddy, my buddy's wife. Yeah, so they had a
they had.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
A joint Amazon on account. He had to so she's
off of it. He changed his password so she can't
get on it without asking. He won't tell her the password.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
But for the person that you read about.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Oh wait, that's a good idea.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
They were so specific about the interaction with the cashier.
Do some people not get that same rush online?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Probably?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I feel like there's something to the tangible purchase.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Oh absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
And like you said, this time you write I.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Wanted gambling, but I would rather well, never mind.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
Elliot, but she's been getting like black you know Black
Friday deals emails for months now, and it's always in
your face.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Yeah. I almost bought a pair of jeans yesterday.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Oh, the Green Ones not doing it for you anymore?
Speaker 1 (12:49):
No, I still like my Green Ones, but I've never
heard of the brand you want. You want to know
what my real problem is, I can't find I don't
like the the I don't wear jeans a lot, but
the one pair of jeans that I have that I
could with ugs because it's hard to get jeans over
the lip of.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
The ugs, I don't you're not tucking I am.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Not tucking them in. I need jeans that go over it.
But I don't like the jeans I have, so I
was looking at a different pair of jeens.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
You need, like a bootleg or Jenko.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
That's what I'm looking for a pair of jeans that
I could wear over ugs that don't look ridiculous. Where
am I going mine too?
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Let's in the Amazon is looking at those seats queries
like what the hell?
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Hi, Elliott the morning, Yeah, Hi, who's this.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Is Brismand I called in a while ago when you
were asking for officiants. I actually divorced my ex wife
because she had she had a compulsive spending problem.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Oh, I totally I totally get it. I totally get it. Hey,
let me ask you this, how bad like when at
its peak? How bad was it?
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Well? When we finally split, we had to sort through
two different storage units of things she had bought, which
included a bunch of pet supplies which we did not
own pets. I mean, I had so much dog down
to the animal shelter to donate.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
It wasn't funny so waiting. So did you? Were you
unaware that she had even rented two storage facilities for stuff?
Speaker 3 (14:26):
I had no idea. We our finances were both together
and separate. We each had her own accounts, but we
had a joint one for bills and everything, which she
constantly paid her portion, but all the rest of her
money just disappeared and never had anything to put towards
(14:46):
anything else. I didn't think about it because I was
always working all the time. We were very young. Probably
shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, but I
let her do her thing. I did mine, And then
eventually things started to sleep, and I started getting bills
or places that weren't getting paid. So when I looked
into it, I started finding a bunch of credit cards
(15:08):
that were in her name and my name that I
didn't sign up for. Yes, I found the storage units.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
It was ridiculous, by the way, That's how my buddy
ended up busting. His wife was like she she handled
all the accounting right, and so he didn't know. And
the same thing, you know what, you trust somebody, so
you're not you're not eyeballing everything, you're not thinking about it.
And they were on joint accounts, but he didn't have
anything to do with it. But he started getting bills
(15:35):
in the mail where it was like, hey, this is
sixty days past two, this is ninety days past due.
And he would he would even ask her what the hell,
and she would cover it up, you know, like a
like you know, oh, I don't.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Know what that.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
They must all take care of it. Let me call
them stupid credit card company. And then he would get
more bills and he would be like, I don't even
understand what's going on, Like it makes no sense. It's
I think that at one point they were close to
losing like power that not power, but like utilities and
stuff is crazy.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Yeah, it's it's scary. It's something you you you well,
you're supposed to be trusting someone, you're supposed they're supposed
to be partners.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
In it, and then.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
Puld the rug up from underneath you. Clicker's come to
get the road?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Hey, how how how much in debt was she?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
I think the final number was like eight thousand dollars
or something like that.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
You cut out there for a thing. Did you say
you're eighty eighty thousand dollars? Yep?
Speaker 3 (16:44):
God damn all on her.
Speaker 6 (16:45):
Now.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
A couple of years ago we finally finalized a divorce
and got all the debt straightened out.
Speaker 6 (16:50):
But it's one hundred percent of it's on her.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
You didn't have to absorb any of her debt, did you?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Nope?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Good? Did you try to work it out? Or were
you like, I can't do this.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
We tried to work it out for about a year.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
She did go to therapy.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
They did give her a medication that supposed to help her.
But I found bags of those pills like hidden around
the house where she was just kind of like cheeking them,
and then when I wasn't looking, she'd spin them out right, Yeah, well,
found more receipts, new credit cards. It wasn't working and
(17:29):
I couldn't handle the financial stress anymore in the line.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
So yeah, no, you're happy. Now, good for you. I
hope she's all right.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Last I heard she is remarried out in Tennessee somewhere.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Good. All right, dude, I appreciate it. Thank you. Could
you imagine, sucker, could you have no Could you imagine
you find out you find out that Lindsay has two
storage units full of crap that you had no idea?
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Well, yes, that would be bad. But then when we
were discussing wants and knee I wasn't thinking not needing
something meant literally, there's no need because you don't have
a pet.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yeah, Like that wasn't even a class of purchases I consider. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, now that I think about it, me neither. Yeah.
Why would I be thinking that? Why would I be
thinking like, oh, we need a lot of pet food? Wow?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
I make take shoes and outfits all day, like frivolous,
something that you will never need in the moment. Hi
Elliott in the morning, I guess you could get a dog.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
I Hi, who's this? Hi? Hey? What's going on, dude?
Speaker 6 (18:46):
Oh not much, man, I'm stuck from eyes Andrea, manager
of the parlor.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
So, I have a shopping addiction from hell. I mean
I ordered things that I don't need. I have a
I have a storage unit full of clothes that I've
never worn.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
You do?
Speaker 6 (19:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Are you being serious?
Speaker 6 (19:06):
Or you are?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Are you doing a bit?
Speaker 3 (19:07):
I'm I'm being dead serious.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Yes, I'm gonna guess you're not married. You don't have
a family.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
No, so I had, I was engaged, but my fiance
passed away. And no, it's okay.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
But and I was looking for happiness in all the
wrong places.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
That's where my.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Shopping addiction really really amps up.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Are you are you getting help for it at all?
I don't know what's the last thing you bought? Uh?
Speaker 3 (19:38):
A wide hat? I had fifty six wide hats.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
And you just put them in storage. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
I have like six that I sacred here at the
house and then the rest of the storage.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yeah. Are you in debt?
Speaker 6 (19:54):
No?
Speaker 1 (19:55):
How are you not in debt?
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Because I work and then I sell cars on the side.
You know, it keeps me busy. My my problem?
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Yeah? But you but can you can you in a moment,
can you look at yourself and go, I know I
have I recognize I have a problem. I'm not saying
it's stop it, but you realize you have a problem. Yes,
one hundred percent isn't. Do you go through the part
where there's any regret or shame afterwards, where you're like,
(20:29):
I wish I could have so much more money in
the bank or whatever? Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
I'm like I could have. I could have spent this
money on a house by it, or or a vacation
or you know, something else.
Speaker 6 (20:49):
But could should have?
Speaker 3 (20:53):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Do you want, like, do you want to fix it?
I do?
Speaker 3 (20:59):
I do, but it's I'm a compulsive and impulsive buyer,
so I don't really know how to you know what
I mean?
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Do you shop online or do you go to stores?
Speaker 3 (21:11):
I shop online?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
So you just you just sit there and scroll Amazon
and just shop non stop. Yep. If I looked at
your past orders, would I just would I fall on
the floor in disbelief? Yes?
Speaker 3 (21:26):
You would.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Does he bring up something though that many people would
have in common where it was used as sort of
therapy to deal with something else, and then it started
to spiral.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Yeah, but isn't that the person who quits drugs but
starts drinking.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
No, his fiance dying is not quitting drugs.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
No, no, but just replacing, just replacing something.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Well, he almost sounds like it was used to grieve,
it was bringing him happiness.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Is that how it started?
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Yeah, that's how it started.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, I got you. Yeah, yeah, I guess that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
So when he goes to that storage space, you know,
we're talking about that high immediately when you buy something.
But does he find happiness in seeing all that unworn
clothes or does it they should just.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Look like a pile of money. You're not happy yet?
Speaker 5 (22:22):
No?
Speaker 3 (22:22):
Well, when I when I when I see the storage
and I'm like crap.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Yeah. So it doesn't make you feel like, oh this
makes me remember her?
Speaker 6 (22:33):
No, not at all.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
No, it just makes you feel like, what am.
Speaker 6 (22:36):
I doing with my life's while?
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Why am I not saving this money?
Speaker 1 (22:41):
And what? Yeah? No, I have a problem for sure.
And you wouldn't get the same satisfaction of going to
a bank and handing the person the money and going
put this in I you know what, I just bought it.
I just bought a savings account.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Not at all, he should see out some what on
what help.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Do your Does anybody in your family know?
Speaker 3 (23:07):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, everyone knows?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
And are they like encouraging you to get help?
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Well, everybody's encouraging to get He why I'm encouraging him
to get help?
Speaker 3 (23:20):
They they they don't think it's it's that much of
a problem. They they because because I can afford it.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (23:30):
And they know about the storage, but they.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Say, that's the problem is people that have the like
they even point out, like you can have millionaires who
have the same problem, but nobody bats an eyelash because
they go, ah, they can afford it, it's no big deal,
and they don't realize it's I'm trying to like nobody knows,
and so nobody thinks it's a problem. Oh yeah, he's
(23:52):
you know what, he buys a lot of crap. But
you know he's got all that money. You know, you
got to spend it.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
On something, right, exactly exactly.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Who just asked you about hookers?
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Oh like my co workers?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Oh, hey, do they know? Do they know that you've
got a spending problem? He does?
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Right, How do you buy something every single day of
the week? I do? I do I do, Yeah, I do.
Speaker 6 (24:30):
If I have, I've something every day and I.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Like, I'll try to I try to stop myself. I'll
be like, okay, today I'm not buying anything. Say I'm
not buying anything, and then something will pop up in
my feed. The marketing is genius, and I'll be.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Like, I need that.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
I don't have that color?
Speaker 6 (24:52):
You know right now?
Speaker 3 (24:54):
I hear you.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
I hear you. Yeah you should. Probably you should probably
find somebody to talk to, Like, how I just make
that so easy?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
No?
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I know, But what I'm like, what am I going
to tell them? You want me to send over a
list of things you can buy for me? Yeah? Sure, yeah,
may as well?
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Maybe for him it starts with reducing screen time and
social media.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
That's how Yeah that would be. That would be a.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Big one, getting cooked.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah, but then what is he supposed to do? Well,
you can watch TV. You can watch TV.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
They don't market on TV, right the No, Well, that's
what I mean, Like, what did what did you gonna
sit there and read?
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (25:33):
God, the.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Compulsively buy stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I'd rather be eighty thousand dollars in debts than to
read all right, hey, dude, best of luck, all right,
my friend. Hey, you got to talk to you later.
See that's rough. What am I supposed to say to.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
The guy now? But we tried to give him some ideas.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Yeah, buy for me.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
I didn't know you had set up a shop.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
The I'll just tell him what. Maybe he can find
me some jeans. Fine five, Hi, Yelly in the morning.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Oh you want him to be a personal shower? Yeah,
but with his his money?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yeah no, Well he gets no satisfying your jeans with
his money. Well, instead of having to keep putting everything,
he's got to go to the stores here and he
can just ship it to me. Hi, Yellie in the morning.
Speaker 6 (26:24):
Elliot, how you doing good?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Who's this.
Speaker 6 (26:27):
Jean?
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah? What's going on?
Speaker 5 (26:28):
Dude?
Speaker 6 (26:30):
Yeah? So uh uh yeah, you could say I have
a spending half. I was over three quarters of a
million dollars in debt.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
No way, that's seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
Speaker 6 (26:42):
Yeah no, yeah, yeah. I bought a house down in
in Charles County, and uh, I would just go out
and I would buy whatever whatever I wanted. And I
go out in the day and spend six seven thousand
dollars on on stereo equipment. I my wife hated when
(27:08):
I go on to all the best buy For instance,
I bought, uh, I spent seven thousand dollars to have
a home theater system built in my bedroom and I'm.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Sorry, in your bedroom, in your bedroom.
Speaker 6 (27:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (27:25):
My mother in law hated me at the time, No kidding,
I intentionally did. I did everything I could to make
sure she she uh, she kept the hate up because
I didn't. I couldn't stand her living with me, so
she she pretty much said she lived right under our bedroom.
And at that day, not that I was trying to
be mean to her, but yeah, you were, she yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
You were.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
You spent seven thousand.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Dollars for sound sound, yeah exactly.
Speaker 6 (27:53):
And then the stereo. I had a home theater system
out in my living room that was probably about two
three thousand watts, So I spent about twenty five grand
on that. And you know, friends will come over and
she has she just hated loud noise, you know. And
I had wood floors in the living room, so when
you turned it up, I mean you could hear It's
probably two or three blocks down the street. Wow, And
(28:16):
so you could you couldn't hear it. Now she's like
turning down. I'm like, what you know, so she couldn't
you know I had I had, uh you know most
people don't have, you know, your front channel subworfers and
all that. I had two fifteen inch sir Win Vega
front channels, and uh so when I turned it out,
the base on it was was just incredibly deep. And
(28:40):
I had overkilling everything I did. And but let me
a lot in the day I had I had the
stereo place out of my house at one o'clock in
the morning, drilling into the ceiling, hooking speakers up. You know,
they were there will probably two or three o'clock in
the morning.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
By the way, great service, great service. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Was he addicted or just petty? Yeah? It was all
because if she wasn't there, would you have done the
same thing?
Speaker 6 (29:08):
Yeah? I mean, I you know, I had an addiction
with stereo equipment, you know, like home home theater, you know,
and I still do. I mean, I'm not as bad
today as I was then, But my god, I mean
I had so much stereo equipment it was it was unreal.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
By the way, just as just as a total side note,
total side note, there are a lot of holiday savings
right now. At Gramophone. I just point that out. Okay,
the so but wait, are you still married to this woman?
Speaker 6 (29:36):
No? No, I that ended in twenty eleven. Yeah, I
found out she was cheating on me, and yeah, I
divorced her. I had to. I gave them both of
the boot because I couldn't take it anymore. And Uh,
I've since then, I've remarried to Uh, I've upgraded, in
other words, and I'm happier.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Are you still but you said, are you still?
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Like?
Speaker 1 (30:04):
I mean, I don't know how many more, like unless
you're going to build your house out of speakers, the like?
But are you still? Are you still spending a lot?
Speaker 6 (30:12):
Now? Not the way I used to? I've I'm not.
I mean, when I was younger, I had the desire
to want to do that. But once you've had it,
and and you know, I mean, you kind of lose
the luster for it. I mean, I bought my wife
a car, what was it five years ago? I bought
(30:32):
her Explore s T And I just told the dealership,
I said, just get it ready for me. I'll be
by the night to pick it up. And you know,
when I sat in the finance office, the ladies's like, well,
I don't know if you want to know what the
payment is, A lady, I don't care what the payment is,
you know. And and they're like, well, it's eleven hundred
and fifty dollars, you know, And I'm like a month.
Speaker 5 (30:54):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 6 (30:57):
Yeah, I got about two and a half more years
and I'm not liking the payment too much.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Oh my god, So wait a minute, are you still
so at your peak? You were seven hundred and fifty
thousand dollars in debt? Are you have you have you
climbed out from from much of that? Oh?
Speaker 6 (31:17):
No, no, I had to bankrupt the debt. I got
you because my ex wife. Yeah, my my ex wife,
she she did me dirty. I had to get I
had to climb off from under the debt because when
she was cheating on me, I spent so much money,
not only on myself, put on her. I was into
a house with her. Luckily, my lawyer had found out
(31:42):
a lot of stuff about her. And you know, I
bought her a tahoe and I mean I wrote a
check for fifteen grand just to put a deposit down
on the truck. And I found out a couple of
her friends that you know, she was driving these guys
around and the new truck. And when I found out,
I came home from a job interview and somebody, one
(32:05):
of her friends called me and they said, I'm just
letting you know she's met somebody. I almost drove the
tahoe through the front door of my house. I'd want
right up to the front with the bedroom door, and
I said, I'm just going to ask you this one time.
What's his name? And I grabbed your phone and I'm
I scrolled through. I said, well, I hope this guy's
worth it, because you're not going to have any of
(32:27):
this stuff. So I literally when when she moved out,
she she took the tags off of the truck that
I bought her. One of the one of the neighbors
came up and said, hey, man, I love the tires
on the tahoe. I'll give you five hundred dollars for him.
I said, I female brother in law looked at one another,
(32:48):
but okay, yeah, the whole truck.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Yeah that's awesome.
Speaker 6 (32:56):
Well, considering I paid sixty five grand for yeah, I
mean you don't.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Care about no car payment. I mean you care about
that one you got now.
Speaker 6 (33:05):
Well, considering that one was only eight hundred dollars compared
to this one.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Yeah, Jesus Christ, maybe your new obsession should be smaller cars.
Speaker 6 (33:15):
Yeah all right, bro, I wouldn't trade this. I wouldn't
trade this one for the world.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
But I got a car, right not wife? Yeah, I gotcha?
All right, Very good, very good. I appreciate it, Thank you, sir.
Oh my god, quite the story.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Imagine eleven hundred dollars a month of car payment. No, no,
I can't, I can't, but a lot of his spending.
So was the caller before it was. I don't like
it was two guys formed out of grief, someone dying.
The last caller wanted someone to do He just pissed
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