EITM: Matchmaker, Matchmaker 5/9/24

Make Jen a match!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Khalid. So we talked to Khaleidyesterday. Khalid was from Egypt, which
is why I nicknamed him Egypt Idon't remember. Originally from Egypt. Well,
yeah, by way of San Diego. Yeah, so he had just
moved here for well, how longhas he been here? But he said
a couple of years, three yearsin the DC area, yes, yes,

(00:24):
yeah, and then before here hewas in San Diego, and then
before that, at least by thesound of him, he was in Egypt.
But I know he's from Egypt.So anyway, he's in d C
or living in d C. ActuallyI think he's like out in the rest
in area. So anyway, wewere talking to him, and I don't
even remember what he called me for, but anyway, we ended up talking

(00:48):
and he was talking about how he'sbeen here for three years, and it
was it's very hard for him tofind a woman. That's exactly why he
called Oh okay, yeah, hewas having a hard time finding a date.
Well I immediately went into matchmaker mode. You know, I love doing
that. I do I do.I love when people are in love.
And I was going to set himup with Jen in the pit and I

(01:12):
even told Egypt she ain't got nohair on her touchy hole. And he
did not like that. No,not that he didn't. He wasn't like,
no, no, no, no, I need a forest back there.
No, he didn't like that Italked about a young lady that way.
Yes, so right off the bat, he and Jen have something in

(01:34):
common. I dislike for you.But we brought Jen in and said,
hey, listen, we just talkedto Egypt. And because Jen in the
past has said, Elliott, youcan run my dating apps, so I
wanted to hook the two of themup. Well, here's what I can

(01:56):
tell you. And I'm not oneto spread people's business. They talked yesterday
for about twenty minutes. Oh wow, Yeah, long time for never having
any interaction with somebody. I thinkthat's beautiful. Huh, I think that's
beautiful. I mean, how longdo you want them to talk to for?
Hi? Hi? I don't know, okay, And you're not even
face to face. You're on thephone, so you know which is which

(02:17):
is great? But you know what, that is a testament to Egypt and
to Jen that they are both suchoutgoing, comfortable people that to carry on
a twenty minute conversation with a totalstranger, and they're both thinking the same
thing. Am I going to dateyou? Am I getting in those pants?

(02:39):
You're getting in these you know?Like I mean, I don't know
what they're thinking, but ultimately that'swhere you're ending up. But for the
little one tidbit, people are constantlyreminded about her by you. Jen is
a lovely person. If she wasn'ta lovely person, I wouldn't try to

(03:00):
set her up with somebody. Iwouldn't set somebody up with some bitch that
works in the office. There's plentyof those. She's very easy to talk
to. I say good morning toher every single day, full name,
Yeah, Jennifer. Anyway, sorryfor the peak behind the curtain. They

(03:22):
anyway, So after twenty minutes theydecided it's not gonna work out now,
not because like Jim was like,I can't, I can't deal with this
garbage. And it wasn't like Egyptwas like, you gotta efing kidding me,
I've got to date her. No, it's just timing wise, schedule
wise, geographic wise, it justwasn't gonna work out. But Jen is

(03:45):
such a pro. She was like, you know what, I have some
friends that are kind of in thatarea. Why don't I introduce you to
them? For all I know,Egypt may have gotten uh, may have
may have gotten a little wet lastnight. Oh God, if he was
on the line, he would askyou to stop. Don't anyway? Sounded

(04:09):
anyway? So I bring that up. Not well for twofold number one to
tell you what happened yesterday and andlisten, Egypt keep fighting, bro.
I hope I hear from Egypt againwith a positive update, even a negative
update. I just I would liketo hear from Egypt again. Not right
now, as Jennifer just walked bythe door hasn't heard a word, I

(04:30):
said, thank God, But thenI got this note. Heard y'all playing
matchmaker this morning for Khalid from Egypt. I'll tell you that this is from
a lady. She's better than Iam, because when I saw Kaleid,
I was like, was that hisname? I only know him as Egypt.

(04:54):
I'm much better with nicknames. Heardyou all playing matchmaker this morning for
Khalid from Egypt. Any chance youcould play matchmaker for me? Have heard
your dating setups in the past andwould be interested. I'm single forty two

(05:15):
in Crofton For some reason, can'tfind nice single guys married men, no
problem, they seem to flock tome. I'll take any help I can
get. Now, this is anothergen, so we'll just call her crofton.

(05:36):
Okay, now I have and shesent a photo. I have a
question. How's she not dating?She's very pretty, she is attracting people.
Well, she's attracted, but she'svery pretty. Yes, and I'm

(06:00):
not saying very pretty comma for aforty two year old. She's very pretty.
No, I'm forty two years oldwhen you compliment me, when you
call him pretty in general, soI don't understand people's people are busy,
and maybe she's just not no runningin the same circles where she's meeting single

(06:24):
people, you know what I mean? See now in my age that she
wants to date. I'm glad thatyou said that she's busy and isn't running
in the right circle, because thenI'm on Reddit yesterday May I read out
of Richmond looking for bars, wherethere are older women looking to find younger

(06:44):
men. Title is pretty self explanatory. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to
even submit, or even allowed onthis subreddit. I'm twenty nine years old
looking to find someone a bit olderto date. Breweries or bars known for
this kind of thing. Does itsay why this person wants to go older.

(07:06):
No, because because that's their preference. Maybe he's like, I want
a mature woman and not some uhin his opinion. Maybe he's he's like,
I want someone with some experience.I want someone who's gonna teach me
and show me life life experiences.Say it could be life, it could
be sex, it could be anything. Oh but maybe you know what,

(07:29):
maybe he went on a run ofgoing I'm tired of dating twenty five year
old drama. By the way,that's not me speaking. You love twenty
five year old drama. If Iwere single, that's all I would date
creepy, not at all. Bringon the drama. You see how he's
I want to hear that. Butfights with the roommates in the office.

(07:49):
Uh No, But maybe maybe heis. Maybe he is, that's what
he's now a lot of people,unfortunately this place went out of business,
but everybody pointed a finger at BarLouis. It was like, just go
to Bar Louis. Other people trythe target in short pump target. Okay,

(08:11):
that's a smart a brewery or arestaurant. Well, he said,
you're just gonna like oiter in anaisle and wait for somebody to come by.
Why can't you find someone at aTarget? Is that where Jen is
trying to find men? Jen Noon? Yeah, you say, Jen,
I go immediately. I don't knowwhat Crofton's push situation Khalid? How maybe

(08:37):
Crofton and Khalid get together and younever know. I don't, but I
don't know what Crofton is into.But these bars that were listed on Reddit,
these were down in Richmond. Yes, yeah, here was somebody else
who responded, I've been out ofthe bar scene for a minute or two,
but my first thought was bar Louis. Okay, did anyone not say
Bar Louis or Target? Right?Ummmm yeah, actually they did try the

(09:01):
bars at wild Ginger Sidecar or Toast. Those gals from Salisbury and Tarrington are
all over these places. Here's anotherone, bar Lowie rip bar Louis.
Go to Cava or a West Endfancy restaurant bar. Oh. The woman

(09:26):
who used to own franklin In oncetold my husband in front of me she
liked to go to Helen's for youngerguys, and she winked at him.
But I guess to be fair,and there's a lot going on. Yes,
Crofton didn't say she wanted a youngergentleman. She just wanted a single

(09:48):
single Yes guy, Yeah, isthat her? Let me go to line
two. By the way, Igot Crafton on the FUS crafted Hello,
just crossing GM. Hey how areyou? I'm doing low? How are
you good? I got to tellyou something. I'm two things. Number
one, I'm glad that you havea nice voice, because what I didn't

(10:11):
want? No, no, no, because the picture you're you're very you're
a very pretty woman, or wellthank you, or you just photographed well
one of the two. Uh,but you're a very pretty woman. But
I didn't want to hear. Hey, couldn't you shut me up? No?
You know what I mean? Like, I didn't like, No,
I'm not doing you're goddamn gargoyle.Yeah, I'm not from was it Kingston,

(10:33):
North Carolina? Nope? Not fromthat had a girl that had a
girl. Good for you? Sonow wait a minute, So you're forty
two, yes? Single? Correct? What's the backstory there? I've always
been single, never married. I'vehad some long term boyfriends I date and

(10:54):
I just ring. I've been likesingle for like a year, like not
even I've gone on like a dattoo, but they just all flop.
I don't get it. But marriedmen, that's what it's a saying.
Do you seem to flock to me? I don't know why that too.
I talked. I'm like, oh, I'm suppurated, like not not that
does not count? And never nevermarried? Did you have a boyfriend that
you may as well have been marriedto? No, never lives to the

(11:18):
guy either. I don't know.Like my friends, I was like,
why are you single? I'm like, I don't know. If I knew
that answer, I probably changed it. I would have guessed, and I
don't. I would have guessed thatyou were divorced. Y yep, fair
question at this age, totally understandable. I'm a teacher. I get students
trying to set me up and I'mlike, thank you, but no,
thank you? Hey hold on likea bird. Like with a parent,

(11:39):
right, oh, would you wouldyou with their parents? Would you hook
up with a kid's parent? Wouldyou hook up with a kid's parent?
No? Okay, all right now, I'm again I did. There are
some people that would say I'm I'magainst that. I wouldn't date a woman
that would say yes, so that'sgood to learn. No, no,
I wouldn't have said. I wouldn'thave asked are you married because of age?
I don't. I don't care aboutthat. As she had former students

(12:01):
contactor knowing she's single. Oh,that's a good question, like somebody that
graduated. Yeah, so I taught. I've been teaching this in my twentieth
year, so I have had someof like my first year teaching, students
are now twenty seven reach out onFacebook and I'm like, no, no,
no, you're still eight in myhead, so you want would you?
But would you never date a formerstudent? I would not do the

(12:26):
former student. Are they too youngfor her? Or is it because they
were taught when they were not evendouble digits? Yes, it's it's weird
in your head, they're always thatage. I'm like, yeah, you're
eight, Like you're not twenty seven, you're eight. But would you date?
Would you date a twenty seven yearold? Oh? Yeah, I'll
be older. I'll date younger.How young? Family called me the international

(12:48):
dator. I'll date Colleen. Colleen, I'm coming to the vote. I'm
coming to the vote. How young? Now, I probably go like thirty.
Oh yeah, no colleagues older thanthirty. So but yes, special
twenty eight, twenty nine year old? You would what's the oldest you would

(13:11):
go? What's the oldest you wouldgo? Well, Dissy, I'll probably
like fifty five. Yeah, Ilike you. It's right in the right
it's right in the wheelhouse for you. What does she like to do?
Okay? Would I like to do? I like to go to happy hours.
I like to travel. I justlike do the regular I always take

(13:33):
that like the hobby. I'm like, I don't know. I just go
home and watch TV. I goout to bars, stay hanging out with
my friend. Nothing crazy. Howwould you? But are you not meeting
anybody at bars? I mean otherthan married guys? Guys? No?
Oh stop it? Are you guys? Come up? Yes? Are you?
Are you putting? Are you puttingyour like? Are you putting out
the right vibe? I can't tell. That's what I do. I not

(13:54):
put out the right vibe. Idon't know. I think I do.
I go there, I take someshots. I have fun. I love
everything about this girl. Now itseems like you you listen because you had
a good call back there to KinstonNorth Carolina. You're familiar with Aaron M.
Barlow. Correct, Yes, okay, I'm going to read a message

(14:16):
to you that she has sent.Here we go. But you know that
she can occasionally be a bitch,right, yes, hey, tell that
girl. I got bushed it upfeet, bushed it up. Button.
I'm still getting it. So ifyou can address this, Oh, okay,
she writes forty two and never marriedred flags people, right, your

(14:43):
response, that's a sub the butnow, but you've never got a red
flag if somebody's like forty two andnever been married, I would say that
it is for dudes, like becauseif the woman is forty two, No,

(15:07):
no, because I have buddies thathave never been married, and they'll
go, hey, so and so, yeah, you know, like he's
in his forties, he's never beenmarried. Huh, that's a that's a
problem. And I don't understand whatthat means. Maybe he just maybe maybe
he was just having so much funslinging it to ten thousand. Well,
maybe that's a problem. Maybe they'vepoured their life into their work, you

(15:28):
know. Okay, but that soundslame. The no no, socially awkward,
or maybe they're socially awkward no,they're my friends. No, No,
but I'm just saying like there's amyriad of reasons why somebody would be
exactly in their early forties. Butthen Aaron is Aaron married right now?
That's that is she married right now? So no, but I I and

(15:52):
again I don't. It's funny.I don't think of it. I don't
think of a woman that way.But I know that there have been some
people be like, what's wrong withhim? He's forty two, he's never
been married. Yeah, maybe becausehe didn't want to be married. Who
cares? Yeah, And I'm leaningthat route now. I don't want to
get married like I built my life, I'm single. I'm finding single.
It's just sort of And I don'twant to share my money with you.

(16:14):
Now you ruin my credit score,Like I'm okay. Now wait, so
you're you're you're you're gonna completely ruleout the idea of ever getting married.
I'm never seeing nevers just a leader. But it's not like I'm wanting to
get married. Yeah. No,you're not going out to a bar looking
for a husband. You're just lookingfor somebody to go out and have a
good time with. Exactly, Yes, And you're not like real prude or

(16:38):
anything. No, I don't thinkso. No, not a girl.
There are a lot of potential suitorsin the social media lounge. Yeah,
they're by the way, Aaron doessay. Honestly, they'll good for her

(16:59):
because you probably has more money thanmy ass after divorce. Is there anybody
on online that is interesting? Well, this is this last little post came
through and is very interesting. AskCrofton if she's open to women. Oh,

(17:22):
I can answer that for you know, that is correct, but no
state against it. Just not mystyle. Right, Well, what happened
to the Justin bieber lyric? Now? But let me ask you? Are
you saying no like that? Andlisten, I understand that's not your thing.

(17:42):
That's fine, that's that's great thebut it wasn't You're not saying that
based on one bad experience. No, I'm not. No, that's fine.
People want to know other than single. Does she have a type?
Yeah? Tall me call me theinternational data. I'm kind of all over

(18:03):
the place. Good are you you? She's like she doesn't doesn't care,
but but you don't. There's there'sno type. It doesn't matter, black,
white, brown, whatever. Yeah, No, good for you as
long as you're cute, like,yeah, I'm just looking for cute,
regular, nice, friendly, basic, thank you? Nothing crazy? Yeah?

(18:27):
Where are you on? Height?Five? Nine? Now I've gotten
that I've got a dal dated shorterbut not Oh boy, wait, whoa,
whoa, whoa? Pardon me finished? Why don't you finish that sentence?
Woman? I have I have datedshorter, but using my crafference with

(18:49):
my initial attraction is the height?Oh all right, well I'm out Hey,
let me let me ask you thisthough, can I can I ask
this because I'm gonna bet the answeris yes, And I and my other
guesses you're going to be modest,but I feel like and again the picture
I have of you is shoulders up, but I would be willing to bet
you have a very nice body.Yes, it's all right, it's a

(19:15):
four year old, regular girl body. Yeah no, no, But what
I'm saying is, like you,like once if I were to pan out,
like I'm not walking behind you tryingto figure out how does that?
How do those genes get over thatass? Like that's not taking plenty okay,
yes, Tyler. In addition toplenty of d ms from crofton specifically

(19:37):
not her, but from the areaof Maybe Jen, you can explain this
to me, OMG, no names? But can you ask her if she
goes to is it Malloy's. Ido go to Malloy's. Yes, that
is an ours bar in the area. Now why is there a reason that

(19:59):
person would ask us to ask youthat? Well, she doesn't know who
it is. Do I know whoit is? No? It sounds like
this person. Oh well he's probablymarried. Do you ever do like open
MIC's there or no? No?This is this is another woman? It's
another woman? No names? Bro? What is why? And I can
see my friends? Yeah? Igo there a couple of times a month,

(20:22):
so maybe it's like a bar abar? Is there anything? Is
there anything? When I say special, I don't mean it may be just
a very good bar or whatever.But you're not there doing karaoke or stand
up or stripping or something like that. No, no, I'm not.
It's just like a regular Cross isnot a huge as a basic suburb.
So it's one of the bars Ican like stay late on a Thursday night.

(20:44):
Yeah, by the way, hereyou go. Line three. The
woman from crofton forty two never married? What's wrong with her? Aaron?
He already that What is what I'mwaiting for? Oh I'm Malloy's Yeah,
why was that ask? Okay,wait, hold on, Crofton, don't

(21:06):
hang up. I'm gonna try connectingyou with somebody here line or hi,
Ellie at the morning. Good morning. Oh boy, look I sauntered up
to the bar. Yes, sir, So first of all, I wanted
to tell crofton Happy Teachers Appreciation Week. Yeah, yes, yes, I'm

(21:30):
a public school graduate and I lovedmy public school teachers. So okay,
thank you so much for the serviceof you. I'm not married and I'm
thirty three, six foot, soI'm kind of kind of inatt by all
these things. I am divorced,no kids, but yeah, I don't
know. I just you know,was on the radio. That's a good
question. Let me let me jumpin here for a second. Uh crofton
divorce bother you? Yeah no,not at all, not at all.

(21:53):
Okay, I'm sorry back to youtoo. Yeah, so I won't.
I just figured anyone who had theyou know what's been calling the radio and
or message n then call on theradio and say hey, send me up
for a day. I don't know, that's that's kind of hot. I
like it. I'm I'm, youknow, dating again after the divorce.
So I don't know, figured,but you're not currently like in a relationship

(22:17):
with somebody. No, no,no, no, I my divorce was
finalized thirteen days ago. It wasn'treally. Oh boy, you're getting new,
you're getting quick. Good for you. Sounds like you can use a
good night. Separated for a while. They probably hated each other for years.
We were separated for a while.I called you before she left me
On was in the hospital for mya c L. Yeah, vague,

(22:45):
sounds like the bar's low. JennGeddy Marster, goddamn fun. All right,
so let me do this. Iam going to get what was your
name again? Dude? I kiss? What is it? JK? I'll

(23:06):
buy I'll buy an apple, allright, JT? Very good? All
right, Hold on one sec.Let me get a number from you,
Jen, you want his number?No? All right, very good?
Hold on one second, don't hangup. Can I put that on hold
now? Yeah, I'm just figuringout how to use the phones. What'd
you learn? You got it?He's not alone. We would be here

(23:26):
all day. I can say,I can fill out, I can fill
out uh numbers like crazy. Rightnow, you've already got mine, and
I know you're reading over my shoulder. The one message that's not asking to
give her their number, that saysdo more ethnic voices. But that's one

(23:48):
person who thinks that's a good idea, no one else. I'm playing the
part of Khalid hi Elliet in themorning. Hello Elliott? Hey, who's
this day? From Crofton? Howyou doing? Oh? Oh hey?
You ever been on the town?Boy? You ever been? You?

(24:11):
Ever been to Malloy's. So nowwe know who it is. I had
a single friends for the young lady. However, I know who she is,
so it's out of the question.Wait a minute, what is that?
Wait a minute? So wait areyou? Why are you calling me?
Well, until the Mloy's thing cameup, we didn't know who Jen

(24:33):
was forty two from Crofton, butthen Malloy's came up, so now we
know who it is. How doyou know who she is? People go
to bars in the Crofton area andthe name came up, so we know
who it is now once mlloy's cameup. See there's something with malloy.
Yeah, but why did you saysomething happened there? Or is it about

(24:55):
the bar in general. No,nothing happened there. However, where the
gentleman that's my friend, that's single, knows the young lady. So it
would be a no go. Okay, all right? And why is that
just out of curiosity? Nothing wrong? There's no nothing wrong with her,
nothing like that. It would justbe a no go, gotcha? Okay,

(25:17):
all right, very good, verygood, thank you, sir,
thank you. Hey? What whatam I missing on the Lloyd? I'm
missing the guy the guy was?Is that who's on the hotline? You
know who that may be? I'mcalling your secret insideline, Jen Please stop.

(25:38):
No, no, but is thatbecause the guy did say that it
has nothing to do with her.I don't understand what that. I don't
die. I don't go to Malloy's. I don't go to malloy All right,
Well, here's what we here's whatwe gotta do. I gotta take
a break. I'm going to talkto Elizabeth Tennyson next from AO p a

(25:59):
hey crofton. So here's what Iwant to do. Let me hold let
me hold on to you, andlet me let me make sure I have
your number. I have a feelingmost of the most of my day will
be spent going through suitors and letme see, let me see what I
can hook up. But my wheels, my wheels are already turning. I
may have an idea for you,okay, yeah, and be able to

(26:23):
look at I'll be in Arlington tonightat Carbonaro with my sister for dinner.
Oh you know what I was.It's brand new. Have you been there
yet? Yeah? No, neverbeen. I went last week. Let
me give you a little tip.Park in go to the Golden Gym across
the street. Park in the parkinglot there by, like z Pizza and
all that. That way you don'thave to pay for street parking. Yeah,

(26:45):
thank you, and we'll do that. Hold on, what time are
you? What time are you going? I may swing by. We'll be
there at six fifteen. Is areservation? All right? Yeah? Maybe
I swing by, Maybe I swingbut wait, hold on my second hold
on Tyler. Two things very important. They're kind of both a disclaimer like
one from from No Names. Theywant me to tell the caller, tell

(27:11):
him it's not her, so theremust be Allois gen Okay, interesting,
interesting, right? And then fromMatt on X. The last time Elliott
played Matchmaker, it ended in ahigh speed chase, So that's another disclaimer.

(27:40):
All right, very good, verygood crafton. I'll see if I
could sneak over to Carbonero tonight.Let me see if I get out and
I'll I'll come say hi, becauseit's not that Gen nois gen hell no,
hell no funny. I'm going toCarbonera too,