Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I need someone who has or had an estranged relationship
with a parent, please? Like how estranged?
Speaker 2 (00:17):
What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Like they're not in their life? Yeah at all?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Or like they avoid them at all costs like they do?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Like you know, that's a good question. I didn't think
about that. I didn't think about that. Like the person
that I was reading about, they'd cut off all all communications.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Is that what you want?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I don't know, but I don't know that i'd be
able to find that.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Elliott, what you can definitely.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Somebody who doesn't talk to a parent at all?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yes, no, no, yes, begrudgingly talked. I can find that
all day. I can go into the bathroom and look
at the mirror. I don't think you'll have a problem, Kristen,
Will you do me a favor? Will you see if
you can find me somebody who is a strange from
their parents or parent, but like a strange cut off,
(01:09):
a strange please?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
And I don't know that it matters why? Oh?
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Maybe I mean the nosy part of me, the gossip
part of me, wants to know.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Of course. No, But I do have a question for you.
I do have a question for you, and I'll tell
you this. I learned a whole perspective part of it
that I thought was really really interesting.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
But I need someone who is a strange. Am I
going to line too? Thank you, Kristin hi Elliot in
the morning.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Good morning?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Are you?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
I am doing great? How are you?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
I'm wonderful.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You're a strange? Are you a strange from your your parent?
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Yeah? My mother?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Right and like fully cut off.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Yes, long story short.
Speaker 5 (02:02):
First marriage ended in divorce. My brother passed away. Was
told that I was not allowed to go to his
funeral because my ex wife was coming.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
But it's your brother, my brother, But you were told
you can't go because your ex wife was going.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Yep, she chose my ex wife over me.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I don't blame you, and I'm.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
Not I'm not the greatest person in the world, but
I'm certainly not horrible either.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Yeah, you're probably a better person than me.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Hmm.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Did he learn all of that after the fact?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Oh wait, what do you mean?
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Did he not know this was happening? And then he
found out later when when the brother died?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
You mean, oh no, I'm I'm assuming that when the
brother died, you were told you can't go to the
wedding or the funeral because your ex wife was going right, correct.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
Yeah, I was told it would be in my bad
interest to not show up at the funeral. When I
asked why, I was told that my ex wife, whom
I had only been I wasn't even divorced yet from
we were still separated, was going to be there.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
They didn't want it to be awkward.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Well, you know what's going to be awkward our relationship
in the best of our Yeah. And you said you
said that your that your mother.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yes, yeah, and how just out of curiosity, how long
how long has it been?
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Uh, eleven years now, twelve years?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
That's all. That's a good hall. That's a good hall.
I like your stick toitiveness.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
If your mom died, if your mom died in in
next month, would you go to the funeral?
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Yeah? Probably.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
I mean she's still she'll always be my mother no
matter what. Just because she's not a great person doesn't
mean she's not my mother.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
That's a very mature look on it, is it? Elliott
acted as if you were speaking a different language.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
No. No, But I'm curious too. I'm curious as to why.
Speaker 5 (04:04):
Funerals are very final and when you don't get that
chance to say goodbye to somebody as that final I mean,
I know you could do it sitting in your car
in traffic and and kind of have the same thing.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
But funerals are that that that final closure that at
least that's my experience with funerals.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
I mean, but who is it, CLU, Who's it closure?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
For you?
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Yeah? For him?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
For me? You know they're dead. I mean I would like,
you're not. You're not making im by the way, I'm
not trying to talk you out of it. This is
what I was reading, right, because I feel like, no, no, no,
let me back up.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
A step, because it feels like I was just gonna
argue with you. I feel like that is a common answer, right,
that you would go, well, you know what it's done.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I'm going to show up. But yes, it's it's closure,
but it's not closure on the history.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
So you're not like, you're not you're not mending of fence.
It's not closure on everything that happened.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
End.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
It doesn't really fix anything going forward. So I'm wondering
why there's this compelling feeling that you should go.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
You.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
I guess everybody's going to be different.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yeah, that is one hundred percent true. That is one
hundred percent true.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
In the deaths that I've experienced in my life, I've
had two that I didn't know passed away and they
were family members and I didn't get to go to
the funeral.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
One was because I was out of the country, so
on and so forth. But I don't know.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
Maybe just because it is the social norm, that it
would allow me to have that closure of saying, hey, listen,
I know we weren't great here, but you know, maybe
if there's somewhere down the road that we can be better,
then maybe we'll get there.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
But who knows where that is or what that'll be.
But I would want it just personally for me.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Does it feel like it would.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Kind of give you a sense of freedom from her
telling you that you couldn't go to your brother's funeral.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
No, No, not at all.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
I mean I feel free from her at this point
because she made her decision and that that was her choice.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
To do with her.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Is it a way to honor the decision you made?
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Like, well, I made that decision, and now now I'm
going to go honor it by going to her funeral.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
Maybe it's out of spite.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Now we're getting me.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Now, you told me I couldn't go to my brothers.
I'm going to show it at yours.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Okay that I meant. Now we're getting somewhere. Now we're
getting somewhere. This is backstory Muddy the Waters. No, No,
it does so specific to funerals. Yeah too, he missy
to know about and then his own brothers. It definitely
I feel like informs his approach to.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
His It hasn't happened.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
But okay, every pathetical pair, I can tell you this.
Everybody I'm going to talk to has had to deal
with a with a death in their family. Yeah, but
he's a strange because of a funeral. Oh maybe I
didn't even take that into account.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
I'm not a strange because she stole a bunch of
money from me or something. Is that what you're saying, Tyler?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yes, okay, but you're estranged. As estranged, I don't care why.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Yeah, I think that's true. Well, it does kind of matter, not.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Really, all right, very good, it definitely does.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
All right, brother compliment.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Hey, I appreciate it. Thank you, dude, Thank you. Have
a good weekend, brother, you got it. Hi Ellie in
the morning, Hi, Hi, who's this boy? The Okay, are
we just going to transfer now where we're going to
start every conversation sounding like you're mad at me.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I didn't do anything.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
She sounds incredibly sad.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Oh why what are you said about?
Speaker 7 (07:57):
I'm just not feeling well and my my husband told
me about uh to call in that my parents don't
talk to us anymore.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Oh okay, all right? Well? And and was that their
choice or your choice?
Speaker 7 (08:12):
Their choice?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Why?
Speaker 7 (08:16):
I guess my dad has some mental issues and he
wants to keep my mother to himself, and I don't
really know what his problem is.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
So you would like to not be a strange, but
they won't allow you to not be estranged?
Speaker 7 (08:35):
Yes, basically, But I know if I would get involved
with them again, they're going to be the same way,
over and over and over.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
You said the reason someone's a strange doesn't matter, but
doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Who I think it does? Like if your parents died,
would you go to the funeral?
Speaker 7 (09:01):
I probably wouldn't even know they passed away, to be honest.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
So there's a no. Okay, let me put that in
my column. All right, However we get the fault. However
we get there.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Wait, so do you mean that Honestly, if they died,
you don't think there's any way you would find out.
Speaker 7 (09:17):
I really don't think I would find out unless some
family member would text me on Facebook. But I really
don't think they would even know, to be honest.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Wow, how bad are your allergies? By the way, I
just started.
Speaker 7 (09:37):
School, So I think it's some type of crud from
the kids coming back.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Yeah, it sounds like it sounds like you're all stuffed
up in there. All right, Very good, very good, Thank you, ma'am.
Speaker 8 (09:49):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Have a good weekend, have a good labor day, good
holiday weekend.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Why're going to turn into a very upsetting segment?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
It shouldn't.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
I don't even really know where you're going.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Who are funerals?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
So I was reading this story. Woman is a strange
from her. I can't remember if it's her mommy or daddy.
Thirteen years cut them off like she didn't like the
way that she was treated. Yeah, she cut them off.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
But was she being babied? Is that why she refers
to them as mommy or daddy?
Speaker 1 (10:20):
No, that's I just called him that, her mom or
dad whatever. So she she's a strange from I think
it's her mom she's a strange and she didn't like
the way. She was like, you know what, I don't
like the way that I get treated. I don't like
the way my family gets treated. I'm choosing my family
over my mother. And thirteen years later, her.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Mom dies and she gets told when the when the
funeral is, and she's kind of sitting at this intersection
of do I go or not go? This feeling of
I feel compelled.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I think like that first guy said, societal norm would say, yes,
you go, be the quote big person, sure and go.
But she's like, I don't want to go, Like I
don't why now? And so the the the ask a
therapist went on and explained that there is no right
(11:16):
or wrong answer, but ask yourself, why are you going?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
If it's just it's the societal norm, then that's not
really a reason to go.
Speaker 9 (11:27):
How about just I would? I know, I'm gonna hate
myself if I don't why you know, I don't know?
Speaker 4 (11:33):
You were fine?
Speaker 1 (11:34):
You were fine for thirteen years. I don't make good decision. No, no,
and you should be happy you made the decision. You
were like, I'm not going to put my family through that. Yeah,
we think of how bad it is if you're if
you're really going to estrange yourself. So for thirteen years
you were like, I am not going to put myself
through it. So why when the person's dead do you
have this feeling of like I won't be able to
(11:55):
if it would bother you so much that you didn't
go see and when they were dead, why wouldn't it
bother you to not see them when you're alive. Funerals
are for the living, they're not for the dead.
Speaker 9 (12:05):
I know, but I think it's kind of like what
that the first guy said, where it was the finality
of things and like maybe closing a chapter, you know
what I mean, Like, Okay, I haven't talked to them
in thirteen years. It was really horrible, but now it's good. No,
But now now that they're gone, it's finally over and.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
You have to go to the funeral to see that.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Yeah, I mean I kind of get that.
Speaker 10 (12:27):
I don't want her to do something privately, you don't
have to do anything.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
No, but she wants that closure. And if the funeral
is symbolic of that.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Then yeah, maybe maybe it is.
Speaker 8 (12:38):
Maybe it is.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Because she hits it on.
Speaker 10 (12:43):
You're to your point, out of the park, which is
the idea that you learn as you grow up that
the funerals are for the living, not for the dead.
And Diane's clearly stating putting and putting forth her purpose
there is selfish. Okay, then yeah, for her closure Okay.
Then yeah, then then maybe I can ex Well I can't.
I mean, anybody could do what they want. I'm not
nobody's boss, So yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I guess if if you went there and were like,
I'm not I'm not doing this to honor them, this
is for me, this is for my piece. Yeah, I
mean I don't know if I'd be shouting that to
people or anything and do whatever you want. Yeah, and
we're all gonna be talking.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Oh my god, I answer it. They haven't talked him.
How long's it been to thirty years?
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Now? That's actually a great point, though.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Would I gossip like that? Yes?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
What if you are worried that your presence will totally
derail the ceremony, and then that would be a reason
not to go.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
No, but tough titty, you still show up if it
fits to get your own piece, then you show.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Up, or do you My presence is my presence?
Speaker 9 (13:44):
Do you maybe try to do something before beforehand, because
you know, sometimes.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Beforehand at like before they die.
Speaker 9 (13:51):
No, sometimes at funerals, they will give the family a
little bit of time before everything starts.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Oh right, yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
I hate that because then you're out there in the
lobby greeting everyone and because they know you've been in early.
Does she look good?
Speaker 10 (14:08):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (14:09):
What a yourd question? Asked me, what ye looks? She
would she would hate that hairdil.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
But I but I thought it was I thought it
was an interesting perspective. But I guess.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Yeah, if you're if you're going there simply for the
fact that it is for your closure, then that's fine.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
But not because it's just like, oh I need to
be the bigger person. No, you don't.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
No, it doesn't sound like that the deceased deserves you
at all.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Exactly. But did they give.
Speaker 10 (14:39):
Any you said this was ask a therapist. Yeah, did
they give any guard rails for it? What do you
mean if you decide or if you decide not to,
did they say make sure you do or don't do this?
Diane's big thing was regret. So if Diane doesn't go, well, yeah, no,
(15:00):
you shouldn't live with regret.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
They tortured you enough, and now if their death is
going to torture you post post not what's the word
I'm looking for, not coitus, post mortem mortem? The Yeah,
don't don't give them that power, because then you'll have
to work for years again. Well then not until you
die and you run into him again.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Which was a great perspective from the first caller.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Because you pushed down. Yeah, that's like he said, It's like,
you know, no matter what she did, she was still
my mother.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
They don't earn that. You don't you know that then
you're doing it for them.
Speaker 9 (15:41):
But there's like even you know, yes, she screwed him
over later on in life, but she was there when
he was a child.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
She was there when he was a baby, you know
what I mean?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yes, and then abandoned you. Who cares? Yeah, well I
don't care about that.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Just went late. She got to that funeral. But I
was speaking more to his thoughts on the afterlife.
Speaker 8 (15:59):
Hm.
Speaker 11 (15:59):
Oh me, no, the caller, I don't even remember what
his thoughts were on the afterlife. He said, if we
end up meeting up again, yeah, yeah, well, I mean
what if.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
That to death?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Was she gonna shade me?
Speaker 7 (16:13):
In heaven.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Can I give you the second part of the therapist?
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Is it related?
Speaker 10 (16:19):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
I once had a patient that I'll call Dave, who
asked himself a similar question about.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
His own parents funeral. His father was a bully, demanding critical.
When his father was dying, Dave was fifty years old,
married with children, and on his own. He struggled for
months with how to handle the funeral.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Then, as his father laid on his deathbed, he had
reached out for his son's hand and said, unexpectedly, I
wish I treated you better.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
Period.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Instead of feeling relieved, it to flip the page, I
had a feeling relieved.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Dave was angry. Did his father expect absolution now in
the eleventh hour? Time to make repairs had long passed.
You don't automatically get the gift of forgiveness because you're
on your deathbed. Dave looked at his dad and said,
I don't forgive you.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
And didn't go to the funeral.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Whoa that I could?
Speaker 7 (17:19):
That that.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
You wouldn't be apologizing if you wasn't dying. That one
I liked. That's good.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
I thought it was if I'm lying, I'm dying.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Oh grits ain't groceries and Mona Lisa was a man.
Let's do a Friday weekend blast off a lot of.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Scott Shannon talk today.
Speaker 10 (17:37):
Amen, it's almost like I recently stumbled on a photo
of him, Todd, you and Phil Collins?
Speaker 8 (17:44):
Did you?
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Yeah? What were you searching?
Speaker 10 (17:47):
Somemore, Elliott and so Collins? Honestly, you know what I
was looking for? Something with you and the Heights. Maybe
I'll do a flashback Friday post line five.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Hi Elliott the morning?
Speaker 8 (18:04):
This man?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Yeah, Hi, who's this?
Speaker 12 (18:07):
Hey, this is Ryan.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
I'm calling from Chicago.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
How are you good? How are things in Chicago?
Speaker 4 (18:12):
Oh? Not too bad?
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Have they?
Speaker 6 (18:15):
Well?
Speaker 2 (18:15):
I know you had Oasis last night. Have you seen
Dustin yet? I have not. Oh he's running around there
getting free meals or drinks or something. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Tonight's my chemical room.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Oh, tonight's my chemical romance.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Wait, when is system Sunday and Monday?
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Sunday and Monday? Are you going to the system shows?
Speaker 12 (18:33):
No, No, we're out in the suburbs. So it's it's
a bit much for us to get get into the
city and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
And they shut all the roads down. Sure anyway, Yes,
they did.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
This guy?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Yes, all right, what can I do for you?
Speaker 4 (18:47):
Sir?
Speaker 12 (18:49):
So you're you're looking for somebody who absolutely hates their
mother's guts.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
So you're estranged from your mother?
Speaker 3 (18:57):
I am.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
I've been for a number of years.
Speaker 12 (19:00):
We tried tried to work it, work it out with
her over the last decade or so, but keeps coming
back and giving me reasons the hater.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
So is there a thumbnail? Is there a thumbnail of
how we ended up there? Or no?
Speaker 9 (19:15):
There?
Speaker 12 (19:16):
There is a very long and drawn out story. But
the most recent event happened a couple of years ago.
We took my daughter down to visit my grandmother in Florida,
where they all live, and her and my stepfather ambushed
the three of us.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
At dinner one night.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
All right, we'll leave it there.
Speaker 12 (19:37):
I'm invited.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Oh damn, hey, so mom, dies, are you going to
the funeral?
Speaker 8 (19:44):
Hell?
Speaker 7 (19:45):
No?
Speaker 13 (19:46):
See, And that's okay, No, that's totally okay. But when
you hear that, people who go, oh, hey, come on, dude,
come on, man, But I but I but I get you.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
That's the right answer. Well, there's no wrong answer. Let
me refrain, But for you, that's the right answer.
Speaker 12 (20:05):
It is it is, And I think it's it's partially
I think because I've tried over the years. My wife
is a saint, and she has tried, over the number
of years that we've been together to try and get
me to reconcile, and I've gone, I've tried, you know.
(20:27):
And it took a while for my wife even to
realize until we got married back in twenty seventeen, and
we didn't invite my mother and my stepfather because I
didn't want them there, and they went ahead. My wife
was still friends with her on social media, and she
essentially blasted us on social media in a very public
(20:51):
and crappy way. And you know that that was really
the name on the coffin.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Wow, she's sounds sweet though.
Speaker 12 (20:59):
Yeah, well, lovely woman, sault of the earth.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Yeah no, but that's fine, That's what I mean. Like
but it but it does sound harsh to hear someone go, no,
I wouldn't go to their funeral. But I get it.
Speaker 12 (21:10):
I don't think so. I think everybody's situation.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Is unique, absolutely absolutely all right, very good, very good?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
He are you a big hockey guy?
Speaker 3 (21:21):
I am?
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Never mind the the bdard plays in the city and
all the roads are closed. All right? Very good, Yeah,
very good, Thank you, sir, Thank you, my hero. Hi
Elliott the morning. Hello, Hello, yes, Hi, who's this.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
I nam Shrine who Cheyenne Cheyenne? Oh like in Wyoming? Yeah, yeah,
what you're you're you're estranged a yeah.
Speaker 8 (21:58):
My dad Wow. He became a drug addict about over
the course of the past like four or five years, right,
and it kind of just like all came out last April.
He was, I guess, doing a really good job of
hiding it, and my mom was hiding it for him.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Are you are you tight with your mom?
Speaker 8 (22:21):
And I am, Yeah, I am really close with my mom.
She of course was struggling with like my dad doing
the things that he was doing as well. And then
my dad just kind of went crazy essentially from doing
drugs and then you know, the way he was trading
(22:41):
and family and me and having young kids that he
was around and then finding out he was like on
drugs when he was around my kids.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Like, yeah, I get that, I get her. Relationship.
Speaker 7 (22:53):
She died.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
He died, he dies, next week, You're.
Speaker 8 (22:55):
Going I would go to see the rest of my
family that goes.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Oh you know what, yeah, there you go. There's nothing
wrong with that. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
Support.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Yeah, it's for the living, for the living.
Speaker 8 (23:10):
Yeah yeah, I see my grandma's and stuff like that
that he would be sad. But other than that, would
your mom if they weren't going.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
I wanted if you didn't go, would your mom be
pissed at you? Or would she get it?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (23:26):
No, she would get it.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
She would get it all right, good, because that's the
other thing that I should have thought of. If there
is a living parent, would that parent be pissed that
you didn't go?
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Right?
Speaker 8 (23:39):
Yeah, she definitely want to be pissed. I think my
grandparents that are alive would be more upset.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
With me than my mom.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
See, but I don't You're not going for them, You're
going for you, right exactly.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
They also say, and this maybe I should have mentioned earlier,
but I don't know what you need to have a mantra,
But like, I don't even know what that means, Like
what mantra am I going with? Like they said that
when you're there, you should have a mantra to kind
of get you, not not get you through, But I mean, yeah,
I guess kind of to.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Get you through.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Don't flip the casket.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
I don't think that. No, Roger, no rerun, no Rent,
No Roger, no rerun, no Rent. No. I don't think
it's like that. But I don't know. I don't know
what that means.
Speaker 10 (24:23):
Summer maybe summer. I like assumption said the name. That's
okay because it's the personal story. Uh, just here to
make sure she's dead.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Damn. Oh is that a mantra? It's like beast mode.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Wait, so does that mean summer is a strange or we've.
Speaker 10 (24:43):
Kind of dabbled in her family dynamic? But yes, Oh,
I shouldn't have said the name. I said the name
for this one either. I've already planned to tell my
brother to leave my mom's funeral if he shows up.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Wait, say that again.
Speaker 10 (24:54):
I've already planned to tell my brother to leave my
mom's funeral if he shows up. Why so that's someone
they because they hate each other?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Gatekeeping? Wait?
Speaker 10 (25:03):
But is it?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
But is it brother hates brother?
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Or is it or maybe he brother wronged mom or something?
I think that relationship is the issue.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Oh so brother was a dick to mom, and so
this guy is gonna go Uh, you don't get to
take part in this like you're a grieving son, you're
an a hole. That's my interpret big hairy brown what. No,
how about a jerk, A big hairy brown jerk. No,
(25:39):
that sounds racist. Okay, maybe that's it.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
And then even if Diane wanted to go, I don't
think Elliot would let her have off.
I need someone who has or had an estranged relationship
with a parent, please? Like how estranged?
Speaker 2 (00:17):
What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Like they're not in their life? Yeah at all?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
Or like they avoid them at all costs like they do?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Like you know, that's a good question. I didn't think
about that. I didn't think about that. Like the person
that I was reading about, they'd cut off all all communications.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Is that what you want?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I don't know, but I don't know that i'd be
able to find that.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Elliott, what you can definitely.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Somebody who doesn't talk to a parent at all?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Yes, no, no, yes, begrudgingly talked. I can find that
all day. I can go into the bathroom and look
at the mirror. I don't think you'll have a problem, Kristen,
Will you do me a favor? Will you see if
you can find me somebody who is a strange from
their parents or parent, but like a strange cut off,
(01:09):
a strange please?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
And I don't know that it matters why? Oh?
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Maybe I mean the nosy part of me, the gossip
part of me, wants to know.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Of course. No, But I do have a question for you.
I do have a question for you, and I'll tell
you this. I learned a whole perspective part of it
that I thought was really really interesting.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
But I need someone who is a strange. Am I
going to line too? Thank you, Kristin hi Elliot in
the morning.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Good morning?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Are you?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
I am doing great? How are you?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
I'm wonderful.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You're a strange? Are you a strange from your your parent?
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Yeah? My mother?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Right and like fully cut off.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Yes, long story short.
Speaker 5 (02:02):
First marriage ended in divorce. My brother passed away. Was
told that I was not allowed to go to his
funeral because my ex wife was coming.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
But it's your brother, my brother, But you were told
you can't go because your ex wife was going.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Yep, she chose my ex wife over me.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I don't blame you, and I'm.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
Not I'm not the greatest person in the world, but
I'm certainly not horrible either.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Yeah, you're probably a better person than me.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Hmm.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Did he learn all of that after the fact?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Oh wait, what do you mean?
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Did he not know this was happening? And then he
found out later when when the brother died?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
You mean, oh no, I'm I'm assuming that when the
brother died, you were told you can't go to the
wedding or the funeral because your ex wife was going right, correct.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
Yeah, I was told it would be in my bad
interest to not show up at the funeral. When I
asked why, I was told that my ex wife, whom
I had only been I wasn't even divorced yet from
we were still separated, was going to be there.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
They didn't want it to be awkward.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Well, you know what's going to be awkward our relationship
in the best of our Yeah. And you said you
said that your that your mother.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yes, yeah, and how just out of curiosity, how long
how long has it been?
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Uh, eleven years now, twelve years?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
That's all. That's a good hall. That's a good hall.
I like your stick toitiveness.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
If your mom died, if your mom died in in
next month, would you go to the funeral?
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Yeah? Probably.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
I mean she's still she'll always be my mother no
matter what. Just because she's not a great person doesn't
mean she's not my mother.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
That's a very mature look on it, is it? Elliott
acted as if you were speaking a different language.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
No. No, But I'm curious too. I'm curious as to why.
Speaker 5 (04:04):
Funerals are very final and when you don't get that
chance to say goodbye to somebody as that final I mean,
I know you could do it sitting in your car
in traffic and and kind of have the same thing.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
But funerals are that that that final closure that at
least that's my experience with funerals.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
I mean, but who is it, CLU, Who's it closure?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
For you?
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Yeah? For him?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
For me? You know they're dead. I mean I would like,
you're not. You're not making im by the way, I'm
not trying to talk you out of it. This is
what I was reading, right, because I feel like, no, no, no,
let me back up.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
A step, because it feels like I was just gonna
argue with you. I feel like that is a common answer, right,
that you would go, well, you know what it's done.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I'm going to show up. But yes, it's it's closure,
but it's not closure on the history.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
So you're not like, you're not you're not mending of fence.
It's not closure on everything that happened.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
End.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
It doesn't really fix anything going forward. So I'm wondering
why there's this compelling feeling that you should go.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
You.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
I guess everybody's going to be different.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yeah, that is one hundred percent true. That is one
hundred percent true.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
In the deaths that I've experienced in my life, I've
had two that I didn't know passed away and they
were family members and I didn't get to go to
the funeral.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
One was because I was out of the country, so
on and so forth. But I don't know.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
Maybe just because it is the social norm, that it
would allow me to have that closure of saying, hey, listen,
I know we weren't great here, but you know, maybe
if there's somewhere down the road that we can be better,
then maybe we'll get there.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
But who knows where that is or what that'll be.
But I would want it just personally for me.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Does it feel like it would.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Kind of give you a sense of freedom from her
telling you that you couldn't go to your brother's funeral.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
No, No, not at all.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
I mean I feel free from her at this point
because she made her decision and that that was her choice.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
To do with her.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Is it a way to honor the decision you made?
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Like, well, I made that decision, and now now I'm
going to go honor it by going to her funeral.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
Maybe it's out of spite.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Now we're getting me.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Now, you told me I couldn't go to my brothers.
I'm going to show it at yours.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Okay that I meant. Now we're getting somewhere. Now we're
getting somewhere. This is backstory Muddy the Waters. No, No,
it does so specific to funerals. Yeah too, he missy
to know about and then his own brothers. It definitely
I feel like informs his approach to.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
His It hasn't happened.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
But okay, every pathetical pair, I can tell you this.
Everybody I'm going to talk to has had to deal
with a with a death in their family. Yeah, but
he's a strange because of a funeral. Oh maybe I
didn't even take that into account.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
I'm not a strange because she stole a bunch of
money from me or something. Is that what you're saying, Tyler?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yes, okay, but you're estranged. As estranged, I don't care why.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Yeah, I think that's true. Well, it does kind of matter, not.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Really, all right, very good, it definitely does.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
All right, brother compliment.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Hey, I appreciate it. Thank you, dude, Thank you. Have
a good weekend, brother, you got it. Hi Ellie in
the morning, Hi, Hi, who's this boy? The Okay, are
we just going to transfer now where we're going to
start every conversation sounding like you're mad at me.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I didn't do anything.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
She sounds incredibly sad.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Oh why what are you said about?
Speaker 7 (07:57):
I'm just not feeling well and my my husband told
me about uh to call in that my parents don't
talk to us anymore.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Oh okay, all right? Well? And and was that their
choice or your choice?
Speaker 7 (08:12):
Their choice?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Why?
Speaker 7 (08:16):
I guess my dad has some mental issues and he
wants to keep my mother to himself, and I don't
really know what his problem is.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
So you would like to not be a strange, but
they won't allow you to not be estranged?
Speaker 7 (08:35):
Yes, basically, But I know if I would get involved
with them again, they're going to be the same way,
over and over and over.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
You said the reason someone's a strange doesn't matter, but
doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Who I think it does? Like if your parents died,
would you go to the funeral?
Speaker 7 (09:01):
I probably wouldn't even know they passed away, to be honest.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
So there's a no. Okay, let me put that in
my column. All right, However we get the fault. However
we get there.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Wait, so do you mean that Honestly, if they died,
you don't think there's any way you would find out.
Speaker 7 (09:17):
I really don't think I would find out unless some
family member would text me on Facebook. But I really
don't think they would even know, to be honest.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Wow, how bad are your allergies? By the way, I
just started.
Speaker 7 (09:37):
School, So I think it's some type of crud from
the kids coming back.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Yeah, it sounds like it sounds like you're all stuffed
up in there. All right, Very good, very good, Thank you, ma'am.
Speaker 8 (09:49):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Have a good weekend, have a good labor day, good
holiday weekend.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Why're going to turn into a very upsetting segment?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
It shouldn't.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
I don't even really know where you're going.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Who are funerals?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
So I was reading this story. Woman is a strange
from her. I can't remember if it's her mommy or daddy.
Thirteen years cut them off like she didn't like the
way that she was treated. Yeah, she cut them off.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
But was she being babied? Is that why she refers
to them as mommy or daddy?
Speaker 1 (10:20):
No, that's I just called him that, her mom or
dad whatever. So she she's a strange from I think
it's her mom she's a strange and she didn't like
the way. She was like, you know what, I don't
like the way that I get treated. I don't like
the way my family gets treated. I'm choosing my family
over my mother. And thirteen years later, her.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Mom dies and she gets told when the when the
funeral is, and she's kind of sitting at this intersection
of do I go or not go? This feeling of
I feel compelled.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I think like that first guy said, societal norm would say, yes,
you go, be the quote big person, sure and go.
But she's like, I don't want to go, Like I
don't why now? And so the the the ask a
therapist went on and explained that there is no right
(11:16):
or wrong answer, but ask yourself, why are you going?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
If it's just it's the societal norm, then that's not
really a reason to go.
Speaker 9 (11:27):
How about just I would? I know, I'm gonna hate
myself if I don't why you know, I don't know?
Speaker 4 (11:33):
You were fine?
Speaker 1 (11:34):
You were fine for thirteen years. I don't make good decision. No, no,
and you should be happy you made the decision. You
were like, I'm not going to put my family through that. Yeah,
we think of how bad it is if you're if
you're really going to estrange yourself. So for thirteen years
you were like, I am not going to put myself
through it. So why when the person's dead do you
have this feeling of like I won't be able to
(11:55):
if it would bother you so much that you didn't
go see and when they were dead, why wouldn't it
bother you to not see them when you're alive. Funerals
are for the living, they're not for the dead.
Speaker 9 (12:05):
I know, but I think it's kind of like what
that the first guy said, where it was the finality
of things and like maybe closing a chapter, you know
what I mean, Like, Okay, I haven't talked to them
in thirteen years. It was really horrible, but now it's good. No,
But now now that they're gone, it's finally over and.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
You have to go to the funeral to see that.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Yeah, I mean I kind of get that.
Speaker 10 (12:27):
I don't want her to do something privately, you don't
have to do anything.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
No, but she wants that closure. And if the funeral
is symbolic of that.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Then yeah, maybe maybe it is.
Speaker 8 (12:38):
Maybe it is.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Because she hits it on.
Speaker 10 (12:43):
You're to your point, out of the park, which is
the idea that you learn as you grow up that
the funerals are for the living, not for the dead.
And Diane's clearly stating putting and putting forth her purpose
there is selfish. Okay, then yeah, for her closure Okay.
Then yeah, then then maybe I can ex Well I can't.
I mean, anybody could do what they want. I'm not
nobody's boss, So yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I guess if if you went there and were like,
I'm not I'm not doing this to honor them, this
is for me, this is for my piece. Yeah, I
mean I don't know if I'd be shouting that to
people or anything and do whatever you want. Yeah, and
we're all gonna be talking.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Oh my god, I answer it. They haven't talked him.
How long's it been to thirty years?
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Now? That's actually a great point, though.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Would I gossip like that? Yes?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
What if you are worried that your presence will totally
derail the ceremony, and then that would be a reason
not to go.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
No, but tough titty, you still show up if it
fits to get your own piece, then you show.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Up, or do you My presence is my presence?
Speaker 9 (13:44):
Do you maybe try to do something before beforehand, because
you know, sometimes.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Beforehand at like before they die.
Speaker 9 (13:51):
No, sometimes at funerals, they will give the family a
little bit of time before everything starts.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Oh right, yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
I hate that because then you're out there in the
lobby greeting everyone and because they know you've been in early.
Does she look good?
Speaker 10 (14:08):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (14:09):
What a yourd question? Asked me, what ye looks? She
would she would hate that hairdil.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
But I but I thought it was I thought it
was an interesting perspective. But I guess.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Yeah, if you're if you're going there simply for the
fact that it is for your closure, then that's fine.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
But not because it's just like, oh I need to
be the bigger person. No, you don't.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
No, it doesn't sound like that the deceased deserves you
at all.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Exactly. But did they give.
Speaker 10 (14:39):
Any you said this was ask a therapist. Yeah, did
they give any guard rails for it? What do you
mean if you decide or if you decide not to,
did they say make sure you do or don't do this?
Diane's big thing was regret. So if Diane doesn't go, well, yeah, no,
(15:00):
you shouldn't live with regret.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
They tortured you enough, and now if their death is
going to torture you post post not what's the word
I'm looking for, not coitus, post mortem mortem? The Yeah,
don't don't give them that power, because then you'll have
to work for years again. Well then not until you
die and you run into him again.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Which was a great perspective from the first caller.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Because you pushed down. Yeah, that's like he said, It's like,
you know, no matter what she did, she was still
my mother.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
They don't earn that. You don't you know that then
you're doing it for them.
Speaker 9 (15:41):
But there's like even you know, yes, she screwed him
over later on in life, but she was there when
he was a child.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
She was there when he was a baby, you know
what I mean?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yes, and then abandoned you. Who cares? Yeah, well I
don't care about that.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Just went late. She got to that funeral. But I
was speaking more to his thoughts on the afterlife.
Speaker 8 (15:59):
Hm.
Speaker 11 (15:59):
Oh me, no, the caller, I don't even remember what
his thoughts were on the afterlife. He said, if we
end up meeting up again, yeah, yeah, well, I mean
what if.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
That to death?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Was she gonna shade me?
Speaker 7 (16:13):
In heaven.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Can I give you the second part of the therapist?
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Is it related?
Speaker 10 (16:19):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
I once had a patient that I'll call Dave, who
asked himself a similar question about.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
His own parents funeral. His father was a bully, demanding critical.
When his father was dying, Dave was fifty years old,
married with children, and on his own. He struggled for
months with how to handle the funeral.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Then, as his father laid on his deathbed, he had
reached out for his son's hand and said, unexpectedly, I
wish I treated you better.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
Period.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Instead of feeling relieved, it to flip the page, I
had a feeling relieved.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Dave was angry. Did his father expect absolution now in
the eleventh hour? Time to make repairs had long passed.
You don't automatically get the gift of forgiveness because you're
on your deathbed. Dave looked at his dad and said,
I don't forgive you.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
And didn't go to the funeral.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Whoa that I could?
Speaker 7 (17:19):
That that.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
You wouldn't be apologizing if you wasn't dying. That one
I liked. That's good.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
I thought it was if I'm lying, I'm dying.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Oh grits ain't groceries and Mona Lisa was a man.
Let's do a Friday weekend blast off a lot of.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Scott Shannon talk today.
Speaker 10 (17:37):
Amen, it's almost like I recently stumbled on a photo
of him, Todd, you and Phil Collins?
Speaker 8 (17:44):
Did you?
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Yeah? What were you searching?
Speaker 10 (17:47):
Somemore, Elliott and so Collins? Honestly, you know what I
was looking for? Something with you and the Heights. Maybe
I'll do a flashback Friday post line five.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Hi Elliott the morning?
Speaker 8 (18:04):
This man?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Yeah, Hi, who's this?
Speaker 12 (18:07):
Hey, this is Ryan.
Speaker 4 (18:08):
I'm calling from Chicago.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
How are you good? How are things in Chicago?
Speaker 4 (18:12):
Oh? Not too bad?
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Have they?
Speaker 6 (18:15):
Well?
Speaker 2 (18:15):
I know you had Oasis last night. Have you seen
Dustin yet? I have not. Oh he's running around there
getting free meals or drinks or something. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Tonight's my chemical room.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Oh, tonight's my chemical romance.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Wait, when is system Sunday and Monday?
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Sunday and Monday? Are you going to the system shows?
Speaker 12 (18:33):
No, No, we're out in the suburbs. So it's it's
a bit much for us to get get into the
city and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
And they shut all the roads down. Sure anyway, Yes,
they did.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
This guy?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Yes, all right, what can I do for you?
Speaker 4 (18:47):
Sir?
Speaker 12 (18:49):
So you're you're looking for somebody who absolutely hates their
mother's guts.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
So you're estranged from your mother?
Speaker 3 (18:57):
I am.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
I've been for a number of years.
Speaker 12 (19:00):
We tried tried to work it, work it out with
her over the last decade or so, but keeps coming
back and giving me reasons the hater.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
So is there a thumbnail? Is there a thumbnail of
how we ended up there? Or no?
Speaker 9 (19:15):
There?
Speaker 12 (19:16):
There is a very long and drawn out story. But
the most recent event happened a couple of years ago.
We took my daughter down to visit my grandmother in Florida,
where they all live, and her and my stepfather ambushed
the three of us.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
At dinner one night.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
All right, we'll leave it there.
Speaker 12 (19:37):
I'm invited.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Oh damn, hey, so mom, dies, are you going to
the funeral?
Speaker 8 (19:44):
Hell?
Speaker 7 (19:45):
No?
Speaker 13 (19:46):
See, And that's okay, No, that's totally okay. But when
you hear that, people who go, oh, hey, come on, dude,
come on, man, But I but I but I get you.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
That's the right answer. Well, there's no wrong answer. Let
me refrain, But for you, that's the right answer.
Speaker 12 (20:05):
It is it is, And I think it's it's partially
I think because I've tried over the years. My wife
is a saint, and she has tried, over the number
of years that we've been together to try and get
me to reconcile, and I've gone, I've tried, you know.
(20:27):
And it took a while for my wife even to
realize until we got married back in twenty seventeen, and
we didn't invite my mother and my stepfather because I
didn't want them there, and they went ahead. My wife
was still friends with her on social media, and she
essentially blasted us on social media in a very public
(20:51):
and crappy way. And you know that that was really
the name on the coffin.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Wow, she's sounds sweet though.
Speaker 12 (20:59):
Yeah, well, lovely woman, sault of the earth.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Yeah no, but that's fine, That's what I mean. Like
but it but it does sound harsh to hear someone go, no,
I wouldn't go to their funeral. But I get it.
Speaker 12 (21:10):
I don't think so. I think everybody's situation.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Is unique, absolutely absolutely all right, very good, very good?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
He are you a big hockey guy?
Speaker 3 (21:21):
I am?
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Never mind the the bdard plays in the city and
all the roads are closed. All right? Very good, Yeah,
very good, Thank you, sir, Thank you, my hero. Hi
Elliott the morning. Hello, Hello, yes, Hi, who's this.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
I nam Shrine who Cheyenne Cheyenne? Oh like in Wyoming? Yeah, yeah,
what you're you're you're estranged a yeah.
Speaker 8 (21:58):
My dad Wow. He became a drug addict about over
the course of the past like four or five years, right,
and it kind of just like all came out last April.
He was, I guess, doing a really good job of
hiding it, and my mom was hiding it for him.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Are you are you tight with your mom?
Speaker 8 (22:21):
And I am, Yeah, I am really close with my mom.
She of course was struggling with like my dad doing
the things that he was doing as well. And then
my dad just kind of went crazy essentially from doing
drugs and then you know, the way he was trading
(22:41):
and family and me and having young kids that he
was around and then finding out he was like on
drugs when he was around my kids.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Like, yeah, I get that, I get her. Relationship.
Speaker 7 (22:53):
She died.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
He died, he dies, next week, You're.
Speaker 8 (22:55):
Going I would go to see the rest of my
family that goes.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Oh you know what, yeah, there you go. There's nothing
wrong with that. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
Support.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Yeah, it's for the living, for the living.
Speaker 8 (23:10):
Yeah yeah, I see my grandma's and stuff like that
that he would be sad. But other than that, would
your mom if they weren't going.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
I wanted if you didn't go, would your mom be
pissed at you? Or would she get it?
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (23:26):
No, she would get it.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
She would get it all right, good, because that's the
other thing that I should have thought of. If there
is a living parent, would that parent be pissed that
you didn't go?
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Right?
Speaker 8 (23:39):
Yeah, she definitely want to be pissed. I think my
grandparents that are alive would be more upset.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
With me than my mom.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
See, but I don't You're not going for them, You're
going for you, right exactly.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
They also say, and this maybe I should have mentioned earlier,
but I don't know what you need to have a mantra,
But like, I don't even know what that means, Like
what mantra am I going with? Like they said that
when you're there, you should have a mantra to kind
of get you, not not get you through, But I mean, yeah,
I guess kind of to.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Get you through.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Don't flip the casket.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
I don't think that. No, Roger, no rerun, no Rent,
No Roger, no rerun, no Rent. No. I don't think
it's like that. But I don't know. I don't know
what that means.
Speaker 10 (24:23):
Summer maybe summer. I like assumption said the name. That's
okay because it's the personal story. Uh, just here to
make sure she's dead.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Damn. Oh is that a mantra? It's like beast mode.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Wait, so does that mean summer is a strange or we've.
Speaker 10 (24:43):
Kind of dabbled in her family dynamic? But yes, Oh,
I shouldn't have said the name. I said the name
for this one either. I've already planned to tell my
brother to leave my mom's funeral if he shows up.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Wait, say that again.
Speaker 10 (24:54):
I've already planned to tell my brother to leave my
mom's funeral if he shows up. Why so that's someone
they because they hate each other?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Gatekeeping? Wait?
Speaker 10 (25:03):
But is it?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
But is it brother hates brother?
Speaker 3 (25:08):
Or is it or maybe he brother wronged mom or something?
I think that relationship is the issue.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Oh so brother was a dick to mom, and so
this guy is gonna go Uh, you don't get to
take part in this like you're a grieving son, you're
an a hole. That's my interpret big hairy brown what. No,
how about a jerk, A big hairy brown jerk. No,
(25:39):
that sounds racist. Okay, maybe that's it.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
And then even if Diane wanted to go, I don't
think Elliot would let her have off.
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