Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Do you sound like a very I don't want to
(00:02):
say proper, but you know right from wrong.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
You would say you're good with etiquette.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Right, I'm okay, I guess right.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Dian, Where are you good with etiquette?
Speaker 4 (00:11):
Do you feel like I think Tyler?
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I think you would score yourself very high with etiquette.
Absolutely right, I would too. Now do you want scenarios?
Let me give you a broad headline. Let me give
you a broad headline, and Joy, I'll start with you.
When is it appropriate to touch a stranger?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Never?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Never? Not wrong?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
They ran through so many scenarios where like, when is
it okay?
Speaker 4 (00:44):
I can think of one when it's okay, here we go.
Speaker 5 (00:46):
What if it's an older person who fell and they
need help?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Okay, Diane, that's that's that's yes, that's that's a little
bit different because then you could say, what if it's
an infant that fell out, Like, yeah, that's a little
bit different. And if you're if you're rescuing somebody or
or helping somebody in an emergency, that's that's a little
bit different. Like that's not just a hey, we're just
kind of two strangers in.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
Maybe maybe, but not in my head. I immediately went
to elderly.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
No, but that's okay. No, No, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
But no, that's that's that's not in the in the
norm of you're touching, you're touching a stranger.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
So Joy sounds like she's got the right answer, Tayland.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Yeah, you don't touch anybody.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
An emergency, exactly exactly.
Speaker 6 (01:36):
Hold on about when conjoint a really crowded bar.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Oh, I'm guilty of this.
Speaker 6 (01:43):
And you're making your way to the bathroom or to leave,
and so that your your body doesn't rub up against someone,
you sort of you sort of. I mean, it sounds horrible.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I do this all the time.
Speaker 6 (01:55):
You sort of place your hand. I do this all
the time.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I just did it.
Speaker 6 (01:58):
I told you.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I went to that new atime in place Kucina Morelli.
I did that.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
The bar was a little bit tight, Yeah, and there
was there was some girl who was not paying attention.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
She was very attractive.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
That's neither here, but the she wasn't helping the stories
now but no, no, but she she was talking to
like two of her friends and she wasn't paying attention.
I think she was maybe getting a credit card out
or something like that. But I could see the meninos
had already sat down, and I find know Steve, he's
already ordering, and I don't want to miss out.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
So I went walking by.
Speaker 6 (02:27):
And so she was yeah, so she was like, be
the attractive woman, right.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
I went by and I gave her one of these
oh oh, in.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
The top of the back. So were you saying small
of the backs? Yes? Oh, I just went by and
you also kind of you like that your finger.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
I felt all of you small of the back.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
To me, not all of them. I haven't gotten behind
you yet.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Small of the back.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
I don't know how to how to phrase it, but
that's a little bit more familiar than maybe the middle
of your back is.
Speaker 6 (02:56):
The Okay, but I just he touched me on my bra.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Well yeah no, but I feel like if I go
low then it's like a mass grab it.
Speaker 6 (03:03):
Well, don't touch cheeks the no, no, but I feel
like that's small of the ba let me small of
the bag.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
No, because I thought you were going to tickle me.
Speaker 6 (03:14):
So let me see if Elliott, now you're now the
good looking woman.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 6 (03:18):
Okay, Well, I'm not a lefty, so I guess it
would be.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
And I use my right hand.
Speaker 6 (03:23):
Now it's gonna be the outside of my right hand.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
The why are you using the outside of it because.
Speaker 6 (03:27):
I'm on the door?
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Is that way?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Okay?
Speaker 6 (03:28):
Oh well no, that's I wasn't saying it's more appropriate.
But let me see where I touch you ready? Yeah, okay,
Oh that's low.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
That's low.
Speaker 6 (03:38):
Yeah, that's low.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
That's low.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
But so I'm not rubbing up against you with my groin. No,
but if I wiped high, you're getting your hand in it.
By the way, if Chef Robert Wiedemeyer is up today,
I cleaned up.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I went to muscle bar yesterday and unloaded before I
ate anyway, No, no, I always go high.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I go for that reason. Low is that's very like
I like low is I touched Jackie Love.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
That's like where you're if you're dancing right, like.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Okay, die, when am I dancing?
Speaker 4 (04:11):
I don't to me, that's more familiar. And did he
use the top of his hand.
Speaker 6 (04:16):
Used knuckles? Like yeah, naturally it was the highest.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
But you've used your palm always.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
I always use my palm. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I wouldn't do this like move it's like then you're
like shooting. Yeah, I just give a nice touch with
the hand.
Speaker 6 (04:31):
So is this okay or no? They say no, no,
Rather you rub up against them.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
The word they go with is weave. Well, there's someone
to the other side, and you wait, they are not. No,
I'm telling you. They said sometimes no no no, no, no, no,
no no, and they use that I can tell you
right here.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
It says placing your hand on someone as you're trying
to move through a crowd or crowded spot.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Nope, you weave.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
And you know the other time, as long as we're
in the restaurant, you know the other time that you
never touch a stranger, even though I would argue maybe
they're not a stranger because you've interacted with them. Hey, Joy,
hold on one second, Hold on one second, have a
great birthday, have a great Memorial Day weekend, and enjoy
Metallica next week.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
All right, thank you so much, appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Hey, you got it.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
You know the other stranger you never touch. Never, And
I think I've done it a couple of times. I
think I've done it a couple of times to get
your server's attention. You never, you never touch.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
I'm with you on that, like, oh I've done it,
Oh you have done it.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Oh yeah, they were saying you, were they at the
next table.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
The yeah, or like we're just talking to somebody like
another server or something.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
And I definitely have reached out and I touched an
elbow to that.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
The I don't grab them as they go walk it
by and be like hey and pull them in. But
I've definitely touched a server before.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
I'm not surprised that's.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
A no no yeah no.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
But again that makes it sound like I'm an animal
like break bread. No, I'm not gonna but the extra
butter the no no. But like if they're like if
they're talking to like a manager or they're at the
next table or something, I'll just reach over and just
kind of okay, finger on the elbow, fingering the no no,
(06:16):
two fingers.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
They're gonna get to you the yeah no.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
But that way they know I need them, so I'll
just Again.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
So it's not why it's not aggressive, it seems like
it is.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
No grab me, I'm gonna grab you.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
If Tyler was the server going by and I did
this and like pulled on the shirt, that's aggressed.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
Oh my god, pulling his shirt.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
But that I wouldn't do. I said, I'm just like
reaching over just so they feel my fingers. Right now,
I can't get over the bar one, the which one?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yeah, no, the bar restaurant.
Speaker 6 (06:52):
You're touching, Yes, your.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Body, your body may touch your body may touches you
go by, and you're you.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
May but that's that's that's quote inadvertent.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah, because it's it's tight what you're doing when you
do this, you're intentionally touching. Okay, so that is your
that is your big difference. They said, keep your hands
to yourself.
Speaker 6 (07:17):
But I feel like that's how creeps they actually do
try to make intentional touching look unintentional, so they will
like kind of thrust out a little bit.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Okay, but we're just we're not creeps or perves.
Speaker 6 (07:33):
We're just we're just for myself.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
We're just getting through a crowd of people.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
And they said, like and and if you do touch
with your hand, which you shouldn't, which you shouldn't never
grab or clasp.
Speaker 6 (07:47):
Well okay, yeah, since you I always say excuse me
as well.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah the yeah, but like like I didn't say excuse
me if I walk out. Actually that's not true. The
girl at that bar I did say, hey, can I
get by you.
Speaker 6 (07:57):
If I pass in front of somebody who's looking at
shells in a grocery store aisle, I will say excuse me.
I say excuse me for that, And I'm not touching them.
I touch them if I go behind them when you pass, sorry,
you touch them at a grocery store.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
If I'm going behind this is your store?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
No, no, no, But like if they got a cart,
and so if I'm going behind them, because what do
people do when they're looking at the shelves right, They're
doing this and then like.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Look, they'll always take a step back.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
So if I go behind, if I go, if I
cut in front of them, I'll say, oh, excuse me.
The or if they're like hogging, I'll go excuse me,
I need to get to that. But if I go
behind them at a grocery store, I'll just give one
of these.
Speaker 6 (08:39):
My point being is just whenever you pass by a stranger,
you should say excuse me.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
The no, that is not true whenever you go buy
a stranger, touch or not. The So I'm at I'm
at the movies and I'm walking down the aisle. Yes, no,
you say excuse me, you say excuse me to the
row kind of yes.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
The first no, not everybody on the road.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
As you start to go down the road, the first
person you go like, oh, excuse me, I got to
get through here.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
And then it's a game of dominoes. Everybody sees you coming.
Speaker 6 (09:10):
I still say, it's all of them, thank you, excuse me.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
If you're fifteen in you're like excuse me, excuse me.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
First one, Oh hey, excuse me, I got to get
in here, and then they're all like, oh god, and
they know you're coming.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I'm not excusing myself to fifteen people.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
And I don't expect if it's a family of three
or if it's a couple, I don't expect both of
them to say excuse me the like. For example, remember
where I used to sit at Caps games. It was
on the aisle, So if there were like four or
five people, one of them would say excuse me. I
didn't need everybody to say I know you're all coming. Yeah, yeah,
you don't need to tell me. And again, not like
I'm not friendly. I'll talk to you, but not everybody
(09:48):
like you're just what you're you're it's word salad. You're
wasting time, You're wasting time.
Speaker 6 (09:52):
Here comes some scenarios where people think it's okay. Oh,
it's very it's okay, it's okay. Right from Chris in
line at a roller coaster in the a group of
head isn't paying attention. A small nudge on the elbow
doesn't hurt.
Speaker 7 (10:05):
No.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
No, As a matter of fact, that gets addressed in here.
To tell somebody to move up is not a reason
to touch them because, and I'll tell you why, it's
not because they'll think about it's your intention versus their perception.
So your intention is to be helpful of like, hey,
you want to move First of all, did we miss
(10:28):
the car? Like you're you're just gonna move up?
Speaker 4 (10:31):
People aren't paying attention.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Who cares? So what you your five your five feet back?
Speaker 4 (10:36):
I've been I've been waiting in this damn line for
an hour and a half.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Move you're gonna shuffle five feet You're like, now, now
we're doing it right?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Who cares? Number one?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
But it's also the perception of the person being touched,
So they say you may think you're doing it to
be helpful. The people behind you may think that you're
just being bitchy and pushy. So when you go, oh,
excuse me, And by the way, I'm guilty of it
because I'll be like, oh, well, let me just let
me sprint the three feet up so you don't feel
like you're stuck back there.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
So they do address that waiting in line.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Now, if they are going to miss something because they're
not paying attention, then it could be a little bit
of like but they say you should lead with excuse me, oh,
excuse me the car's leaving, or excuse me the door
is going to close.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
But you don't just go hey, let's go uh huh.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
All right.
Speaker 6 (11:24):
How about this one from Tom. I've learned a long
time ago that you give somebody a tap when you
make your way through a crowd or a pit at
a concert.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Um they say that. I mean again that goes back
to the crowd. They say weaves.
Speaker 6 (11:42):
It's a weave.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Pit's a little bit different.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Pit's a little bit different because you don't want to
be confused with somebody who's waiting to take a forearm
to the chest.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
So you may just go like, oh, I'm not in here,
and then move through. I get it, Tom.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I touched Tom and pits all the time with my
ease with my feet with Doc Martin's like, whatever it is,
I'm touching tom.
Speaker 7 (12:04):
Oh.
Speaker 6 (12:04):
Actually, Josh said the same thing, because they can't hear
you since their loud music.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Right.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
No, but again we've weave.
Speaker 6 (12:15):
Okay, And then Hugh says, what if they're deaf.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
No, because they can see you.
Speaker 6 (12:25):
They can see both heightened senses.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Oh, so then you're gonna reach around and wave in
front of their face like, Yo, that's.
Speaker 6 (12:33):
Not rude at all.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Wait, so if they're deaf, death is not hearing. Yeah,
I don't know. But again, in a crowd, they're not saying,
say excuse me, They're just saying you weave.
Speaker 6 (12:44):
So that's not because people are trying to figure out
do you have a scenario or two in which it
is actually okay or no?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
They do.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
They do say in the case of obvious state emergency,
but that doesn't count.
Speaker 6 (12:54):
But do you have a non emergency situation yes? Okay,
don't say yet, but that's what people are trying to guess.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Oh, in what scenario is it?
Speaker 6 (13:01):
Okay, you guessed death.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
No, death is not. Death is not on there.
Speaker 6 (13:09):
So you can't touch a death stranger either. For the
most part, we don't know when you can touch a stranger.
But for the most part, don't touch.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Can just say don't touch, don't touch. There is there
is one scenario and it's They're very specific. They are
very very specific about it. All Right, Where am I going?
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Kristen Line one, Hi, Ellie of the morning? Yeah, Hi,
who's this?
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Hi?
Speaker 8 (13:37):
I'm Molly.
Speaker 9 (13:38):
I'm from Westminster.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Hey, what's going on? Yes? What can I do for you?
Speaker 6 (13:42):
Okay?
Speaker 9 (13:42):
So I just wanted to say, like, I have been
in the bar industry. Why I recently left but for
the just about a decade now. And let me preface
this by saying, I'm.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Four foot ten.
Speaker 6 (13:53):
I'm short.
Speaker 9 (13:54):
So when I would have to be in busy crowds,
busy bars, I have to move people because I'm short.
In a crowd, people cannot see me whatsoever. They kind
of like walk through me. And so I have to
like move people because if I'm just like, excuse me,
excuse me, they can't hear me. So I got to
move people around. Alex says, you got trades, you got
(14:15):
the food, you got trades of drink. You're trying to
get them to some hungry people, some drunk people. You
gotta just move those people out of the way.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Come on through the little one little one. I'm on
through Little one. Hey how's my butt smell?
Speaker 3 (14:30):
But you know what.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Like, But but again, as a server, that's a little
bit different because you're doing your job, you know what
I mean. So like these are just two strangers and
they don't address it. They do address You should never
grab a server thank you or crab or class, even
though I have kind of just touched them on the
shoulder or at the elbow. But I think it's a
little bit different going the other way. If you're a
(14:51):
server and you got a trade, whether you're a little
spinner or not, is you would have somebody. I wouldn't
mind if if if a server was coming through and
like excuse me, excuse me and kind of was leading
you by the shoulder to get through.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
They're working, that's just not too strangers interacting.
Speaker 7 (15:09):
That is.
Speaker 6 (15:09):
Yeah, I agree that is a little different. But then
you could argue I guess that the relationship between the
server and the customer goes both ways, that they're not
strangers these because they are at that point they.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Have no the person working is doing a job. You're
a stranger to that.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Okay, yeah, no again, if a server comes by, like hey,
hot fajitas and they kind of like move you a
little bit.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Yeah, which, by the way.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Unless you're with Hugh and you're trying to figure out
how to move that deaf guy, you should be able
to hear that the fidas are coming from.
Speaker 6 (15:43):
Now, all I'm picturing is that guy who knocked the
trade down. Oh I remember that wasn't funny.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah it was, it was. I mean, it's not cool,
but it was funny. Line two, Hi Elliott in the morning.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
Elliott's blind, John, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
No, I mean, because you can't even see if I'm
getting ready to time, I guess move No, is it rude?
Speaker 7 (16:08):
No?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Wouldn't it be on your laughter or on your right?
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (16:15):
I guess that would work.
Speaker 7 (16:17):
But see, this is really awkward because I touch people
all the time, right, I also have a dog.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Well, so that's the thing. The dog actually helps because
I don't want to say that they're trained to treat
people like obstacles. But like when I fly and I'm
with Igor, they don't know. He doesn't understand the concept
of lines, right, so he just thinks he's just thinking
that people are obstacles. So his job is to get
(16:50):
me to the front of the line or to get
me around people, which you know, people can be mad
at them all day. He doesn't know any better, right, yeah,
but he treats people with obstacles, which they are technically.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
So like when I'm not fly, when you fly, Egor
gets you right to the front of the line, do
you just weave in between everybody?
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Well? He tries, right, and then I try to tell him, like,
you know, not to do that, because I kind of
I'm aware of my surroundings. So I try my best
to follow the line, the TSA line, the right way.
But usually the other thing too, is that my wife
jokes around with me that she loves to travel with me.
Generally when they see me or see us, they'll just
kind of waveless through anyway.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Hey, any chance you're going to be any chance you're
going to be at National this afternoon, I'll use Egor
to get through a line.
Speaker 6 (17:36):
Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Absolutely, yeah, I mean. But that's the other thing too,
is that so I touch. So when I'm not with Igor,
what I do is I keep my I use my
cane with my right hand, so I use my I
kind of stick my cane in front of me, not
pointing vertically right so that people can see it and
I and I keep my left hand kind of at
my side, so I try not to make contact as
(18:00):
much as possible. But I mean, obviously it happens.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Yeah, okay, but you're also blind. I mean, like like
nobody's getting mad at you. I mean unless your hands
out like you're honking somebody that.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
He's dealt with some unpleasant Well, so, oh I'm sure.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
I mean so like when I used to go Christmas
shopping on a regular I've got people say to me,
please don't bump into me, and I'm like, your job
is to see me and get out of my way,
and you're gonna not like that's kind of stupid, you know.
But then the other thing is on the other side
of this, Other than me trying not to make contact
with people, some people think it's perfectly okay to just
(18:38):
grab me and move me wherever they think I need
to be.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Well, because you're an obstacle. They're not a person, You're
an obstacle for sighted people. That yeah, no, no, I
could see that where somebody would go like, oh, hey,
you know what, like you're kind of blocking the area,
let me just move you over. Here that I wouldn't do,
like I wouldn't just shove, not not shove, but like
move a blind person out of the way, because like
I can't you know, like well you're in the way,
(19:02):
that I wouldn't do that.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
All right, very good, thank you blind John, Yes Tyler.
Speaker 6 (19:07):
From a sunny. A woman in front of me had
a lantern fly crawling up her back towards her hair.
As I grabbed it, I said, you have a bug
crawling up your back. I scooped it up. She thanked
me profusely. I showed it to her just so she
didn't think I was a creep.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
The okay, good call on showing it. But the answer
to that, and I'll tell you why.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
The answer to that is just like excuse me and
make eye contact and then tell them why.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Now get the bug off of no, because I'll tell
you what the other.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I'll tell you what the other is.
Speaker 6 (19:42):
It's like telling somebody that the sky is falling but
they can't see it. It's like telling that to John, right,
how is she? Then what if it's in the position
you can't even.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Reach it, because then you would go, oh, hey, excuse me,
you have a bug on your back. And I get
that off for you.
Speaker 6 (19:57):
Oh then you're asking can you remove it?
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Per Oh my god, I got I got no no,
and I'll tell you no no. The permission thing is.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
And this is where I'm bad. I'm a hugger, right
like I like, I love hugging people when I meet him.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
That's just me.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I'm a hugger. The and I violated all the time,
like I was.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
I was at a party last weekend and I met
people that I didn't know, went right in, get.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Them a hug.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
The but they're saying I should ask first, but I
figured they're friends with somebody I know, so unless they like,
unless they look cold, that's.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
You, Dyane. You know that I'm a big hugger. I
am a big hugger.
Speaker 6 (20:34):
I would never have described you as that way.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Really, No, I.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Hug all the time, thank you, Kristin. Yeah, I hug
all the time.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
So you're meeting somebody at a at a house party.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yeah, that's exactly where I was. And they introduced me
and they said this is my friend. Yeah I probably
shouldn't say, but this is my friend blah blah blah.
And I was like, oh, hey, nice to meet you.
And I gave her a hug. Very nice lady.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
Maybe I haven't been in that very niceyron.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
We don't hug you every day when I see you,
But yeah, no, definitely a hugger.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Back to the bug.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I'll tell you why, because here's another scenario. You're at
a store seven to eleven convenience store. It doesn't matter.
Person drops a five or their wallet or a lottery
ticket or something and they drop it on the ground.
How are you supposed to get their attention? They don't
realize they drop something.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
I'm usually yelling at them.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Right, it's the same thing with the bug, and that's
what they use. And they go, you don't just like
you don't go, hey, you drop your wallet. You would go, oh,
excuse me, sir, you dropped your wallet. Now, in reality,
if it was a lottery ticket or cash, you cross
your fingers and hope they walk away and nobody else
opens their mouth. But yeah, you're not supposed to touch
them because they'll say again, it's the perception of the
(21:48):
person being touched. That person could think you've done something
and this is now a distraction of how you got
a dollar bill to fall.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
It may not be their dollar bill or whatever. Now
you've set up a distraction for them, so no one's
gone yet.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
No, no, And I will say they say it's okay
to touch, You're gonna be very disappointed in the answer.
It's okay to touch after after eye contact. Oh what,
you have to make eye contact first. But that's the
old that's the green light to touch a stranger.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
No, in this one scenario.
Speaker 6 (22:26):
Oh in the in the one that is okay, right,
because they're saying, it's like you're walking through at a concert.
We would eye contact Tyler.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
My god, Tyler just too Memorial Day weekend, he's off
the rail.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
That's what suns out, tits out. Hi, Ellie of the Morning, Yeah, Hi,
who's this?
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Oh yeah?
Speaker 8 (22:52):
I give tours around the named Kyle gives around the
National mall right, and a huge part of my job
is to figure out how to get people out.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Of the way.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Well, I mean, I mean, I feel like we've been
on those segways tours. I mean, oh, I guess, like
when you're like in crowds or something like that. Yeah,
I mean, yeah, huh yeah or whatever.
Speaker 8 (23:19):
Yeah, but a lot of them, a lot of people
walking around their international visitors, so they don't speak English,
so I'll do a lot of like tap on the
shoulder or just kind of point backwards.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
You know. It's funny, Fine, it's funny you say that
because one of the things that does get addressed in
here is you also don't know where people are from
and what their customs are, even though they may quote
look like you. That you may not know what their
customs are. So you may go to you may go
to touch somebody and you don't know what their history is.
(23:50):
You don't know what their customs are, and that you
may find that to be very offsetting to them. So
it would be like, there is no way in hell
that you're supposed to touch that person in any way,
shape or form based on their culture, based on their
history or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
And they said that's where it could be very dangerous.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Again, they may look like you, and you may think like, oh,
you know what, probably just some couple from Indiana.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Nope, you do.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
That's why they say you do. That's another reason they
say you do not touch a stranger. That's a good one.
So what is it when you meet somebody in shake hands? Oh,
I told you you would hate it. I told you
you would hate it. No, that sounds like it was
a riddle all one. No, no, no, no, they say
it's that's the your strangers, you've never met each other.
But that's where I told you. That's the only time
(24:40):
they say it's appropriate to touch a stranger after you
make eye contact.
Speaker 6 (24:46):
The only thing that you go in your ears, your elbow.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
It was so disappointed, but okay, but that's just driving
home the point. I told you you would be disappointed.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
You did.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
I told you that's why I go in for the hug.
Speaker 6 (24:59):
I thought it would be an act scenario.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
That is a scenario. Yeah, no, it is. You've never
met somebody and shook hands with that.
Speaker 6 (25:05):
I thought it would be I would say, a more unique,
something that was a little more rare.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
The I mean, that is the most common form of
touching a stranger.
Speaker 6 (25:14):
Yes, that's why it's not top of mind when you're
trying to rack your brain on what's right.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
And I'll tell you this, there are times I find
handshaking uncomfortable. I'd much rather hug. Really, yeah, yeah, there
are times I'd much rather hug.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
If the yeah, Elliott A
Do you sound like a very I don't want to
(00:02):
say proper, but you know right from wrong.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
You would say you're good with etiquette.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Right, I'm okay, I guess right.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Dian, Where are you good with etiquette?
Speaker 4 (00:11):
Do you feel like I think Tyler?
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I think you would score yourself very high with etiquette.
Absolutely right, I would too. Now do you want scenarios?
Let me give you a broad headline. Let me give
you a broad headline, and Joy, I'll start with you.
When is it appropriate to touch a stranger?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Never?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Never? Not wrong?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
They ran through so many scenarios where like, when is
it okay?
Speaker 4 (00:44):
I can think of one when it's okay, here we go.
Speaker 5 (00:46):
What if it's an older person who fell and they
need help?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Okay, Diane, that's that's that's yes, that's that's a little
bit different because then you could say, what if it's
an infant that fell out, Like, yeah, that's a little
bit different. And if you're if you're rescuing somebody or
or helping somebody in an emergency, that's that's a little
bit different. Like that's not just a hey, we're just
kind of two strangers in.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
Maybe maybe, but not in my head. I immediately went
to elderly.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
No, but that's okay. No, No, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
But no, that's that's that's not in the in the
norm of you're touching, you're touching a stranger.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
So Joy sounds like she's got the right answer, Tayland.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Yeah, you don't touch anybody.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
An emergency, exactly exactly.
Speaker 6 (01:36):
Hold on about when conjoint a really crowded bar.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Oh, I'm guilty of this.
Speaker 6 (01:43):
And you're making your way to the bathroom or to leave,
and so that your your body doesn't rub up against someone,
you sort of you sort of. I mean, it sounds horrible.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I do this all the time.
Speaker 6 (01:55):
You sort of place your hand. I do this all
the time.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
I just did it.
Speaker 6 (01:58):
I told you.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I went to that new atime in place Kucina Morelli.
I did that.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
The bar was a little bit tight, Yeah, and there
was there was some girl who was not paying attention.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
She was very attractive.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
That's neither here, but the she wasn't helping the stories
now but no, no, but she she was talking to
like two of her friends and she wasn't paying attention.
I think she was maybe getting a credit card out
or something like that. But I could see the meninos
had already sat down, and I find know Steve, he's
already ordering, and I don't want to miss out.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
So I went walking by.
Speaker 6 (02:27):
And so she was yeah, so she was like, be
the attractive woman, right.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
I went by and I gave her one of these
oh oh, in.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
The top of the back. So were you saying small
of the backs? Yes? Oh, I just went by and
you also kind of you like that your finger.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
I felt all of you small of the back.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
To me, not all of them. I haven't gotten behind
you yet.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Small of the back.
Speaker 5 (02:50):
I don't know how to how to phrase it, but
that's a little bit more familiar than maybe the middle
of your back is.
Speaker 6 (02:56):
The Okay, but I just he touched me on my bra.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Well yeah no, but I feel like if I go
low then it's like a mass grab it.
Speaker 6 (03:03):
Well, don't touch cheeks the no, no, but I feel
like that's small of the ba let me small of
the bag.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
No, because I thought you were going to tickle me.
Speaker 6 (03:14):
So let me see if Elliott, now you're now the
good looking woman.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 6 (03:18):
Okay, Well, I'm not a lefty, so I guess it
would be.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
And I use my right hand.
Speaker 6 (03:23):
Now it's gonna be the outside of my right hand.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
The why are you using the outside of it because.
Speaker 6 (03:27):
I'm on the door?
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Is that way?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Okay?
Speaker 6 (03:28):
Oh well no, that's I wasn't saying it's more appropriate.
But let me see where I touch you ready? Yeah, okay,
Oh that's low.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
That's low.
Speaker 6 (03:38):
Yeah, that's low.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
That's low.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
But so I'm not rubbing up against you with my groin. No,
but if I wiped high, you're getting your hand in it.
By the way, if Chef Robert Wiedemeyer is up today,
I cleaned up.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I went to muscle bar yesterday and unloaded before I
ate anyway, No, no, I always go high.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I go for that reason. Low is that's very like
I like low is I touched Jackie Love.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
That's like where you're if you're dancing right, like.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Okay, die, when am I dancing?
Speaker 4 (04:11):
I don't to me, that's more familiar. And did he
use the top of his hand.
Speaker 6 (04:16):
Used knuckles? Like yeah, naturally it was the highest.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
But you've used your palm always.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
I always use my palm. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I wouldn't do this like move it's like then you're
like shooting. Yeah, I just give a nice touch with
the hand.
Speaker 6 (04:31):
So is this okay or no? They say no, no,
Rather you rub up against them.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
The word they go with is weave. Well, there's someone
to the other side, and you wait, they are not. No,
I'm telling you. They said sometimes no no no, no, no, no,
no no, and they use that I can tell you
right here.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
It says placing your hand on someone as you're trying
to move through a crowd or crowded spot.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Nope, you weave.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
And you know the other time, as long as we're
in the restaurant, you know the other time that you
never touch a stranger, even though I would argue maybe
they're not a stranger because you've interacted with them. Hey, Joy,
hold on one second, Hold on one second, have a
great birthday, have a great Memorial Day weekend, and enjoy
Metallica next week.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
All right, thank you so much, appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Hey, you got it.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
You know the other stranger you never touch. Never, And
I think I've done it a couple of times. I
think I've done it a couple of times to get
your server's attention. You never, you never touch.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
I'm with you on that, like, oh I've done it,
Oh you have done it.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Oh yeah, they were saying you, were they at the
next table.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
The yeah, or like we're just talking to somebody like
another server or something.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
And I definitely have reached out and I touched an
elbow to that.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
The I don't grab them as they go walk it
by and be like hey and pull them in. But
I've definitely touched a server before.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
I'm not surprised that's.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
A no no yeah no.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
But again that makes it sound like I'm an animal
like break bread. No, I'm not gonna but the extra
butter the no no. But like if they're like if
they're talking to like a manager or they're at the
next table or something, I'll just reach over and just
kind of okay, finger on the elbow, fingering the no no,
(06:16):
two fingers.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
They're gonna get to you the yeah no.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
But that way they know I need them, so I'll
just Again.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
So it's not why it's not aggressive, it seems like
it is.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
No grab me, I'm gonna grab you.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
If Tyler was the server going by and I did
this and like pulled on the shirt, that's aggressed.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
Oh my god, pulling his shirt.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
But that I wouldn't do. I said, I'm just like
reaching over just so they feel my fingers. Right now,
I can't get over the bar one, the which one?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yeah, no, the bar restaurant.
Speaker 6 (06:52):
You're touching, Yes, your.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Body, your body may touch your body may touches you
go by, and you're you.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
May but that's that's that's quote inadvertent.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah, because it's it's tight what you're doing when you
do this, you're intentionally touching. Okay, so that is your
that is your big difference. They said, keep your hands
to yourself.
Speaker 6 (07:17):
But I feel like that's how creeps they actually do
try to make intentional touching look unintentional, so they will
like kind of thrust out a little bit.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Okay, but we're just we're not creeps or perves.
Speaker 6 (07:33):
We're just we're just for myself.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
We're just getting through a crowd of people.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
And they said, like and and if you do touch
with your hand, which you shouldn't, which you shouldn't never
grab or clasp.
Speaker 6 (07:47):
Well okay, yeah, since you I always say excuse me
as well.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Yeah the yeah, but like like I didn't say excuse
me if I walk out. Actually that's not true. The
girl at that bar I did say, hey, can I
get by you.
Speaker 6 (07:57):
If I pass in front of somebody who's looking at
shells in a grocery store aisle, I will say excuse me.
I say excuse me for that, And I'm not touching them.
I touch them if I go behind them when you pass, sorry,
you touch them at a grocery store.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
If I'm going behind this is your store?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
No, no, no, But like if they got a cart,
and so if I'm going behind them, because what do
people do when they're looking at the shelves right, They're
doing this and then like.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Look, they'll always take a step back.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
So if I go behind, if I go, if I
cut in front of them, I'll say, oh, excuse me.
The or if they're like hogging, I'll go excuse me,
I need to get to that. But if I go
behind them at a grocery store, I'll just give one
of these.
Speaker 6 (08:39):
My point being is just whenever you pass by a stranger,
you should say excuse me.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
The no, that is not true whenever you go buy
a stranger, touch or not. The So I'm at I'm
at the movies and I'm walking down the aisle. Yes, no,
you say excuse me, you say excuse me to the
row kind of yes.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
The first no, not everybody on the road.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
As you start to go down the road, the first
person you go like, oh, excuse me, I got to
get through here.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
And then it's a game of dominoes. Everybody sees you coming.
Speaker 6 (09:10):
I still say, it's all of them, thank you, excuse me.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
If you're fifteen in you're like excuse me, excuse me.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
First one, Oh hey, excuse me, I got to get
in here, and then they're all like, oh god, and
they know you're coming.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I'm not excusing myself to fifteen people.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
And I don't expect if it's a family of three
or if it's a couple, I don't expect both of
them to say excuse me the like. For example, remember
where I used to sit at Caps games. It was
on the aisle, So if there were like four or
five people, one of them would say excuse me. I
didn't need everybody to say I know you're all coming. Yeah, yeah,
you don't need to tell me. And again, not like
I'm not friendly. I'll talk to you, but not everybody
(09:48):
like you're just what you're you're it's word salad. You're
wasting time, You're wasting time.
Speaker 6 (09:52):
Here comes some scenarios where people think it's okay. Oh,
it's very it's okay, it's okay. Right from Chris in
line at a roller coaster in the a group of
head isn't paying attention. A small nudge on the elbow
doesn't hurt.
Speaker 7 (10:05):
No.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
No, As a matter of fact, that gets addressed in here.
To tell somebody to move up is not a reason
to touch them because, and I'll tell you why, it's
not because they'll think about it's your intention versus their perception.
So your intention is to be helpful of like, hey,
you want to move First of all, did we miss
(10:28):
the car? Like you're you're just gonna move up?
Speaker 4 (10:31):
People aren't paying attention.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Who cares? So what you your five your five feet back?
Speaker 4 (10:36):
I've been I've been waiting in this damn line for
an hour and a half.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Move you're gonna shuffle five feet You're like, now, now
we're doing it right?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Who cares? Number one?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
But it's also the perception of the person being touched,
So they say you may think you're doing it to
be helpful. The people behind you may think that you're
just being bitchy and pushy. So when you go, oh,
excuse me, And by the way, I'm guilty of it
because I'll be like, oh, well, let me just let
me sprint the three feet up so you don't feel
like you're stuck back there.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
So they do address that waiting in line.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Now, if they are going to miss something because they're
not paying attention, then it could be a little bit
of like but they say you should lead with excuse me, oh,
excuse me the car's leaving, or excuse me the door
is going to close.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
But you don't just go hey, let's go uh huh.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
All right.
Speaker 6 (11:24):
How about this one from Tom. I've learned a long
time ago that you give somebody a tap when you
make your way through a crowd or a pit at
a concert.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Um they say that. I mean again that goes back
to the crowd. They say weaves.
Speaker 6 (11:42):
It's a weave.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Pit's a little bit different.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Pit's a little bit different because you don't want to
be confused with somebody who's waiting to take a forearm
to the chest.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
So you may just go like, oh, I'm not in here,
and then move through. I get it, Tom.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I touched Tom and pits all the time with my
ease with my feet with Doc Martin's like, whatever it is,
I'm touching tom.
Speaker 7 (12:04):
Oh.
Speaker 6 (12:04):
Actually, Josh said the same thing, because they can't hear
you since their loud music.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Right.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
No, but again we've weave.
Speaker 6 (12:15):
Okay, And then Hugh says, what if they're deaf.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
No, because they can see you.
Speaker 6 (12:25):
They can see both heightened senses.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Oh, so then you're gonna reach around and wave in
front of their face like, Yo, that's.
Speaker 6 (12:33):
Not rude at all.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Wait, so if they're deaf, death is not hearing. Yeah,
I don't know. But again, in a crowd, they're not saying,
say excuse me, They're just saying you weave.
Speaker 6 (12:44):
So that's not because people are trying to figure out
do you have a scenario or two in which it
is actually okay or no?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
They do.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
They do say in the case of obvious state emergency,
but that doesn't count.
Speaker 6 (12:54):
But do you have a non emergency situation yes? Okay,
don't say yet, but that's what people are trying to guess.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Oh, in what scenario is it?
Speaker 6 (13:01):
Okay, you guessed death.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
No, death is not. Death is not on there.
Speaker 6 (13:09):
So you can't touch a death stranger either. For the
most part, we don't know when you can touch a stranger.
But for the most part, don't touch.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Can just say don't touch, don't touch. There is there
is one scenario and it's They're very specific. They are
very very specific about it. All Right, Where am I going?
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Kristen Line one, Hi, Ellie of the morning? Yeah, Hi,
who's this?
Speaker 3 (13:37):
Hi?
Speaker 8 (13:37):
I'm Molly.
Speaker 9 (13:38):
I'm from Westminster.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Hey, what's going on? Yes? What can I do for you?
Speaker 6 (13:42):
Okay?
Speaker 9 (13:42):
So I just wanted to say, like, I have been
in the bar industry. Why I recently left but for
the just about a decade now. And let me preface
this by saying, I'm.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Four foot ten.
Speaker 6 (13:53):
I'm short.
Speaker 9 (13:54):
So when I would have to be in busy crowds,
busy bars, I have to move people because I'm short.
In a crowd, people cannot see me whatsoever. They kind
of like walk through me. And so I have to
like move people because if I'm just like, excuse me,
excuse me, they can't hear me. So I got to
move people around. Alex says, you got trades, you got
(14:15):
the food, you got trades of drink. You're trying to
get them to some hungry people, some drunk people. You
gotta just move those people out of the way.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Come on through the little one little one. I'm on
through Little one. Hey how's my butt smell?
Speaker 3 (14:30):
But you know what.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Like, But but again, as a server, that's a little
bit different because you're doing your job, you know what
I mean. So like these are just two strangers and
they don't address it. They do address You should never
grab a server thank you or crab or class, even
though I have kind of just touched them on the
shoulder or at the elbow. But I think it's a
little bit different going the other way. If you're a
(14:51):
server and you got a trade, whether you're a little
spinner or not, is you would have somebody. I wouldn't
mind if if if a server was coming through and
like excuse me, excuse me and kind of was leading
you by the shoulder to get through.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
They're working, that's just not too strangers interacting.
Speaker 7 (15:09):
That is.
Speaker 6 (15:09):
Yeah, I agree that is a little different. But then
you could argue I guess that the relationship between the
server and the customer goes both ways, that they're not
strangers these because they are at that point they.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Have no the person working is doing a job. You're
a stranger to that.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Okay, yeah, no again, if a server comes by, like hey,
hot fajitas and they kind of like move you a
little bit.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Yeah, which, by the way.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Unless you're with Hugh and you're trying to figure out
how to move that deaf guy, you should be able
to hear that the fidas are coming from.
Speaker 6 (15:43):
Now, all I'm picturing is that guy who knocked the
trade down. Oh I remember that wasn't funny.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah it was, it was. I mean, it's not cool,
but it was funny. Line two, Hi Elliott in the morning.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
Elliott's blind, John, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
No, I mean, because you can't even see if I'm
getting ready to time, I guess move No, is it rude?
Speaker 7 (16:08):
No?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Wouldn't it be on your laughter or on your right?
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (16:15):
I guess that would work.
Speaker 7 (16:17):
But see, this is really awkward because I touch people
all the time, right, I also have a dog.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Well, so that's the thing. The dog actually helps because
I don't want to say that they're trained to treat
people like obstacles. But like when I fly and I'm
with Igor, they don't know. He doesn't understand the concept
of lines, right, so he just thinks he's just thinking
that people are obstacles. So his job is to get
(16:50):
me to the front of the line or to get
me around people, which you know, people can be mad
at them all day. He doesn't know any better, right, yeah,
but he treats people with obstacles, which they are technically.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
So like when I'm not fly, when you fly, Egor
gets you right to the front of the line, do
you just weave in between everybody?
Speaker 3 (17:11):
Well? He tries, right, and then I try to tell him, like,
you know, not to do that, because I kind of
I'm aware of my surroundings. So I try my best
to follow the line, the TSA line, the right way.
But usually the other thing too, is that my wife
jokes around with me that she loves to travel with me.
Generally when they see me or see us, they'll just
kind of waveless through anyway.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Hey, any chance you're going to be any chance you're
going to be at National this afternoon, I'll use Egor
to get through a line.
Speaker 6 (17:36):
Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
Absolutely, yeah, I mean. But that's the other thing too,
is that so I touch. So when I'm not with Igor,
what I do is I keep my I use my
cane with my right hand, so I use my I
kind of stick my cane in front of me, not
pointing vertically right so that people can see it and
I and I keep my left hand kind of at
my side, so I try not to make contact as
(18:00):
much as possible. But I mean, obviously it happens.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Yeah, okay, but you're also blind. I mean, like like
nobody's getting mad at you. I mean unless your hands
out like you're honking somebody that.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
He's dealt with some unpleasant Well, so, oh I'm sure.
Speaker 5 (18:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
I mean so like when I used to go Christmas
shopping on a regular I've got people say to me,
please don't bump into me, and I'm like, your job
is to see me and get out of my way,
and you're gonna not like that's kind of stupid, you know.
But then the other thing is on the other side
of this, Other than me trying not to make contact
with people, some people think it's perfectly okay to just
(18:38):
grab me and move me wherever they think I need
to be.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Well, because you're an obstacle. They're not a person, You're
an obstacle for sighted people. That yeah, no, no, I
could see that where somebody would go like, oh, hey,
you know what, like you're kind of blocking the area,
let me just move you over. Here that I wouldn't do,
like I wouldn't just shove, not not shove, but like
move a blind person out of the way, because like
I can't you know, like well you're in the way,
(19:02):
that I wouldn't do that.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
All right, very good, thank you blind John, Yes Tyler.
Speaker 6 (19:07):
From a sunny. A woman in front of me had
a lantern fly crawling up her back towards her hair.
As I grabbed it, I said, you have a bug
crawling up your back. I scooped it up. She thanked
me profusely. I showed it to her just so she
didn't think I was a creep.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
The okay, good call on showing it. But the answer
to that, and I'll tell you why.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
The answer to that is just like excuse me and
make eye contact and then tell them why.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Now get the bug off of no, because I'll tell
you what the other.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I'll tell you what the other is.
Speaker 6 (19:42):
It's like telling somebody that the sky is falling but
they can't see it. It's like telling that to John, right,
how is she? Then what if it's in the position
you can't even.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Reach it, because then you would go, oh, hey, excuse me,
you have a bug on your back. And I get
that off for you.
Speaker 6 (19:57):
Oh then you're asking can you remove it?
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Per Oh my god, I got I got no no,
and I'll tell you no no. The permission thing is.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
And this is where I'm bad. I'm a hugger, right
like I like, I love hugging people when I meet him.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
That's just me.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I'm a hugger. The and I violated all the time,
like I was.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
I was at a party last weekend and I met
people that I didn't know, went right in, get.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Them a hug.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
The but they're saying I should ask first, but I
figured they're friends with somebody I know, so unless they like,
unless they look cold, that's.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
You, Dyane. You know that I'm a big hugger. I
am a big hugger.
Speaker 6 (20:34):
I would never have described you as that way.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Really, No, I.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Hug all the time, thank you, Kristin. Yeah, I hug
all the time.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
So you're meeting somebody at a at a house party.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yeah, that's exactly where I was. And they introduced me
and they said this is my friend. Yeah I probably
shouldn't say, but this is my friend blah blah blah.
And I was like, oh, hey, nice to meet you.
And I gave her a hug. Very nice lady.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
Maybe I haven't been in that very niceyron.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
We don't hug you every day when I see you,
But yeah, no, definitely a hugger.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Back to the bug.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I'll tell you why, because here's another scenario. You're at
a store seven to eleven convenience store. It doesn't matter.
Person drops a five or their wallet or a lottery
ticket or something and they drop it on the ground.
How are you supposed to get their attention? They don't
realize they drop something.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
I'm usually yelling at them.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Right, it's the same thing with the bug, and that's
what they use. And they go, you don't just like
you don't go, hey, you drop your wallet. You would go, oh,
excuse me, sir, you dropped your wallet. Now, in reality,
if it was a lottery ticket or cash, you cross
your fingers and hope they walk away and nobody else
opens their mouth. But yeah, you're not supposed to touch
them because they'll say again, it's the perception of the
(21:48):
person being touched. That person could think you've done something
and this is now a distraction of how you got
a dollar bill to fall.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
It may not be their dollar bill or whatever. Now
you've set up a distraction for them, so no one's
gone yet.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
No, no, And I will say they say it's okay
to touch, You're gonna be very disappointed in the answer.
It's okay to touch after after eye contact. Oh what,
you have to make eye contact first. But that's the
old that's the green light to touch a stranger.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
No, in this one scenario.
Speaker 6 (22:26):
Oh in the in the one that is okay, right,
because they're saying, it's like you're walking through at a concert.
We would eye contact Tyler.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
My god, Tyler just too Memorial Day weekend, he's off
the rail.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
That's what suns out, tits out. Hi, Ellie of the Morning, Yeah, Hi,
who's this?
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Oh yeah?
Speaker 8 (22:52):
I give tours around the named Kyle gives around the
National mall right, and a huge part of my job
is to figure out how to get people out.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Of the way.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Well, I mean, I mean, I feel like we've been
on those segways tours. I mean, oh, I guess, like
when you're like in crowds or something like that. Yeah,
I mean, yeah, huh yeah or whatever.
Speaker 8 (23:19):
Yeah, but a lot of them, a lot of people
walking around their international visitors, so they don't speak English,
so I'll do a lot of like tap on the
shoulder or just kind of point backwards.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
You know. It's funny, Fine, it's funny you say that
because one of the things that does get addressed in
here is you also don't know where people are from
and what their customs are, even though they may quote
look like you. That you may not know what their
customs are. So you may go to you may go
to touch somebody and you don't know what their history is.
(23:50):
You don't know what their customs are, and that you
may find that to be very offsetting to them. So
it would be like, there is no way in hell
that you're supposed to touch that person in any way,
shape or form based on their culture, based on their
history or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
And they said that's where it could be very dangerous.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Again, they may look like you, and you may think like, oh,
you know what, probably just some couple from Indiana.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Nope, you do.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
That's why they say you do. That's another reason they
say you do not touch a stranger. That's a good one.
So what is it when you meet somebody in shake hands? Oh,
I told you you would hate it. I told you
you would hate it. No, that sounds like it was
a riddle all one. No, no, no, no, they say
it's that's the your strangers, you've never met each other.
But that's where I told you. That's the only time
(24:40):
they say it's appropriate to touch a stranger after you
make eye contact.
Speaker 6 (24:46):
The only thing that you go in your ears, your elbow.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
It was so disappointed, but okay, but that's just driving
home the point. I told you you would be disappointed.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
You did.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
I told you that's why I go in for the hug.
Speaker 6 (24:59):
I thought it would be an act scenario.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
That is a scenario. Yeah, no, it is. You've never
met somebody and shook hands with that.
Speaker 6 (25:05):
I thought it would be I would say, a more unique,
something that was a little more rare.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
The I mean, that is the most common form of
touching a stranger.
Speaker 6 (25:14):
Yes, that's why it's not top of mind when you're
trying to rack your brain on what's right.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
And I'll tell you this, there are times I find
handshaking uncomfortable. I'd much rather hug. Really, yeah, yeah, there
are times I'd much rather hug.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
If the yeah, Elliott A
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