Anal Rail Gun

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
So I've only welcome to the PowerTrip back party. Well, thank our
spotsor Haven Poker in a moment,but I want to complete this side one
thinking about it, if I hadbeen watching, because he told me watching,
I think you should leave when you'rehigh is the best. The only
time I've ever really been high waswith zach Out at what's the name of
the place packing Duram Studio. Wewere cutting the hard Rock record. It's
the only time I ever been high. I was so high I had to

(00:22):
stand up and walk away from thetable because I couldn't stop laughing. I
thought I was gonna die. Icould not stop laughing at best. I
think I might have died if Ihad been watching I think you should leave.
If he had said, oh,I was a ship, I might
have died on the floor. Thenhe's so funny. So I wonder if

(00:45):
I would do this with Kurb becauseI've only seen every episode of I think
you should leave just once outside ofthe Honk if You're Horny Sketch and the
Ghost Sketch. I've seen those eachabout fifty times. But when you showed
me the one last week, Ididn't remember. No, I laughed my
ass off when I saw it thefirst time. Yeah, but I had
completely forgotten about it, and youshowed it to me, and it was
like I had seen it for thefirst time. I was crying and struggling

(01:10):
to breathe when he was talking aboutthat. Baby knows that I used to
be a piece of shit. No, No, you're not a no,
I know, but he knows thatI used to be. You know,
it's so freaking good. You haveto be partially insane. Yeah. Anyway,
Hey, you know, we wantto again thank Haven Poker, and
I don't think we do this enoughreally, honestly, ladies and gentlemen,

(01:33):
do us a favor if you like. Listen to the Power Trip ap to
parton. You haven't done this yet, download the Haven Poker app if you
would please. You're doing us afavor because they sponsored this show. It's
literally the only reason we were ableto come back. If you use that
do promo code Power Trip. Itell them how to do this. I'm
stupid, tell you. So,you go to the app store, you
download Haven Poker h A Y VI N. It's absolutely free, and
then in the first forty eight hourstyping the promo code Power Trip and double

(01:57):
your initial bankroll. So when youfirst go to the app, there's a
little settings thing or a menu inthe top left hand corner. Just go
to inner codes type of the promocode powertip and you double your initial bankroll.
But you got to do that inthe first forty eight hours. Then
you play heads up poker against yourfriends. Siries, shut the fuck,
but yeah, you play heads uppoker against your friends. There's tournaments you
can get in every day. There'san adventure mode, you can upgrade your

(02:20):
characters. It's super cool, alot of social aspects. You can challenge
your friends, and it's fun,and it's heads up pokers. It's supposed
to take like five to seven minutes. You don't have to sit there and
commit for a super five hour pokertournament. I'm playing rich. That also
sounds awesome, but these are quickand like Hawks said, it's the main
reason we came back is we wantedsponsors on our own terms and we like
Haven Poker. You can also emailus if you want to sponsor this show

(02:44):
as well, but Haven Poker didfirst, so they're in forget it,
so please just do that for usif you would. Okay, Am we're
done with commercials. There you go, ladies, and probably unless we just
do free ads later in the show. This is our podcast, right,
That's what we told the bosses.This is ours. We do whatever we
want with it. Yeah, ifwe want to give out a bunch of
free ads, we will, that'sright. Yeah. Fuck I don't want
to. I just want to meanfuck you. Just River two. Not

(03:07):
trying to ruin anybody's day of work. I'm not trying to make this your
worst day of work, everybody.I just gotta know, do any of
those little fuckers ever burst out ofthe whoa and just shoot a big fucking
cum shot everywhere? It's such agood yeah, And you and I talked

(03:30):
about this off the air. Maybethat's why Tim Robinson didn't last on us,
to know, because if somebody,if you're sitting around a table and
not hired, and shit, ifyou're just stone cold sober, and somebody
said, well, what if wehave a sketch where I'm offered to hold
a baby but I the baby startscrying, and I just get this feeling

(03:53):
that the baby used to know Iwas a piece of shit, and that
he knows that I used to likeslick back my hair and thought I was
super cool. The baby thinks this. Yeah, the baby like consense that
I used to be a piece ofshit. And that'll be the bit is
that he knows that, like,maybe I've made progress, but previously I

(04:14):
was a piece of shit and that'swhy he cried. But everybody else at
the party will deny it and sayit's just a baby crying. How do
you pitch that correct and get everybodyto laugh? No, I didn't do
a good job of selling it.My guess is Tim sells it a lot
better. But that sounds like aninsane idea that has about a one percent
chance of success. And then you'rewatching, you go, this is freaking
genius who thinks of this? Sohe must have had a billion ideas shot

(04:39):
down at SLA a year. Ithink he was a writer for a year
or two, and then I thinkhe was only a cast member for one
I think, not one hundred.So funny though, I love that guy
fucking brilliant. So he's just brilliant, fucking brilliant, all right. So
we're trying to put the Vegas plantogether in our heads, because if they

(05:01):
plan a Sunday and it sounds likethey do. If we can get this
confirmed later today, if they playon a Sunday in December, yeah,
we have to do a Monday show. So whether or not we fly back
after the show Monday and do ashow in Vegas on Monday, or whether
we fly back Sunday night. You'regonna probably fly back with the team Sunday
nights, so you might be hereeither way. We got to figure out
the logistics of do we do showsThursday and Friday? Do we do shows

(05:24):
Friday and Monday. I don't knowwhat we're doing yet. We're going root
for and I just I was textingwith Michael right now at UM to find
destiny destinations my memory man about aboutdoing flying out Thursday night, doing the
broadcast Friday morning, yep, anddoing the broadcast Monday morning and then coming

(05:44):
back Monday night. I think that'sfine, man, that works out.
Yeah, that's right. Yeah,I would do that, and I think
most most roots would be cool withthat. That gives them the full weekend
of football betting to write all ofSaturday, all of Sunday. Yeah when
that? Yeah? Would that be? No? That Championship week could be
the week before and in college,but still still yeah, yeah, yeah,

(06:08):
yeah, you're right, that's true. I mean, why not why
not be super I don't know,shit, why not? Shit shit?
And if we can get Pa outthere because it's Vikings related. We've been
begging him to come out to theMarch one for years and he's never wanted
to do it. But if wecan find a spot three thirty to seven
Vegas time and then have Pago sevento ten Vegas time and just do six

(06:29):
and a half hours of somewhat overnightVegas radio, that's badass. I mean
yeah, Now he will definitely bethere, and we were already talking about
he's excited about it too. Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah, the
whole trip's gonna feel different. It'sthe fall as opposed to the Spring.
We might switch locations, PA mightcome with. It's Vikings related, So

(06:49):
there's truly a reason, not justhey, let's bet on the NCAA tournament.
It's gonna be bad ass. Yeah, it's gonna be spun. Vegas
weather in December is legitimately perfect perfect. It's it's not one hundred and ten
degrees. It's normally I don't know, like in the sixties in a little
bit of It's perfect windy sometimes perfectwalking weather in Vegas for cruising the strips
awesome. It's badass. Yeah,I can't wait. Zach doesn't have a

(07:12):
wedding that weekend, so that's perfect. Thank god. That would have sued.
But I hate weddings. That's theperfect excuse to skip it is I
can't. I gotta go to Vegasfor work. Sorry, buddy. We
got a pretty fun set up though. Okay, it's not as fun as
Vegas. It's fun set up,but you knows Vegas. I'm gonna left
turn it, but only kind ofbecause we've all been in Vegas with this

(07:33):
guy. I'm not gonna lie toyou guys. And I'm watching the video
of Tommy um to crack on Rosiethat you filmed this morning. Yeah,
I would be afraid to party withthose guys. I can't. I can't
keep up from more than five minutes, right, and then I'm not.
But it's not I would legitimately,I because they if they one of them

(07:55):
gets pissed off, they'll kill you. Yeah, they would kill me.
I'm five six. They would fuckingkill me. Eddie Olsen is a giant
man and like Tommy just got pissedbecause the guy put his fingers in the
grass, and he's like, oh, I gotta shut this guy down.
Yeah, you never know where they'regonna turn out. He's like having a
nice dog, but that dog mightjust get pissed one day. If somebody's

(08:16):
listening, that's good with video editingfor like TikTok, I need the video
that Sauce posted this morning of Tommydoing the bushwhacking dance side by side with
Kevin McCallister doing the rocking around becausethat's the same hand motion he's doing side
by side. I think it wouldbe identical. So we need rocking around

(08:37):
the Christmas tree Kevin Mcallisker McCallister andTiO side by side. Somebody else do
it. I ain't gonna do it. I don't know how to do this.
Guys are looking into I mean likethe one when we were in Vegas
last December. I mean they mybrother was tell me that they found like
a like a tequila bar. There'slike a secret tequila bar, you know

(09:00):
in Cosmo that like restaurant with orlike that little restaurant area where like a
cross is like egg slut, youknow, that little corridor on the second
back there. I never knew thisis a secret tequila bar and the same
yeah, yeah, behind like adoor where yeah where you just don't know.

(09:24):
Yeah, that's like a high endtequila bar speakeasy. Yeah. And
they were in there and it wasjust a fucking gone show. Those guys
love it. Yeah, I can'timagine. Yeah, they're fun man.
They must have been like in Nashvillethe week before. Oh, I can't
imagine what that hard pass, right, I mean, just no thing.
I got no interest in it.Sounds like fun, man, But I
definitely wouldn't stay too long. Iwouldn't stay I couldn't stay up with him

(09:46):
for too long. And I don'tknow when they'll ever slow down. I
mean, I wasn't like that whenI was that age either. I don't.
Yeah, I'm crazy. He's selfaware though, of that. He
tells me all the time. Idon't know much longer I can do this,
car. I don't know, becausehe even says his job right,
there is a lot of like wheelingand dealing in lunches and happy hours.
He's like, I'm drinking like sixdays a week. Yeah, he knows

(10:07):
that, Like it's not sustainable forthe next thirty years. He's like,
I don't know how long I cando this. And he loves his job.
He feels like Tommy boy man,he really is. Yeah. Yeah,
he was talking today about how likeeven Ben said when uh, Tommy
asked him, are you going tothe Luke Combs concert this weekend? And
he goes no, And tom orLieber was like, do you ever slow
down? Like, how do you? Because you know they're gonna get fucking

(10:31):
hammered at that too. So yeah, yeah, they just go and go
and go and go. But yougot it, well you can, I
guess. Apparently there was another bigscratch off winner in central Minnesota. Oh
one hundred thousand dollars. That'd becool. That's a huge. So is
that something the store doesn't give youthat you have to go to Winter Minnesota?

(10:54):
Minnesota lotter scratch in the hand outof the till. I love to
pull up to a holiday like nineo'clock. Well, employee comes back and
yeah, you have one hundred thousand. We just haven't laying around in case
The on the Coffee House crossword soldon Monday at Casey's General Sword at Annandale.

(11:16):
My God, I know, howabout that five dollars ticket? But
check this out. Last Friday therewas a two hundred thousand dollars winning scratch
off tickets sold in Becker Wow.I gotta make sure my grandmother didn't finally
hit. You think she would havetold you, well, she's up in
I don't think she would have.She's a banana, she's I've been to
that case. He's in Annondale manytimes. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah.

(11:37):
Man, have you bought scratch offtickets there? I have? You
probably have? Honest? Have youglory hold there? Not? There?
You don't think? Um no?No? I mean even in all the
way Worthington, Yeah, did youglory hold somebody? You may have been
just doing it for effect, butit's so weird, like sauce. If
you ask me, like, haveyou ever glory hold in a bathroom?

(11:58):
The fact that you had to thinkabout it for three you go, um
um no? Yeah. Like watchasked me, Paul, if you ever
glory hold in a bathroom? Absolutelynot? Yeah? Well have you were
terrible memories? I don't, Imean yeah, okay, he asked me
if I've ever of like something graphicthe kid Upton Have you ever put your

(12:20):
penis through a hole in a bathroom? Absolutely not, keep going. Have
you ever banged kid Upton nor ZachNo? Watch, no, dude,
ask the same question again. Watchif you ever banged kaid Upton? Um,
see you you have? Have youblown numb one in a bathroom stall?

(12:41):
No? No? Yeah, Seethat's that's a yes, that's a
yes. That's what you're finding aloophole. We need the detector tests.
Every time we've ever had a biton the show in the last twenty plus
years where we wanted a lie detector, they always complain it because it's like
two hundred dollars, Like, yeah, but we'll put out your name.

(13:01):
You know, we'll give you freeadvertising. It's not wounded for me.
Like every lie detective guy in thestate says it's not worth a free advertise
and don't think some of them wantto remain anonymous. Yeah, but we're
asking for the opposite. We're like, we'll give you some business. Yeah,
man, we just need once everyyear or so, we needed to
come in and clear up a debate. What a great idea. Nobody's ever
wanted to do it that. Iwas just about to say that why are

(13:26):
we not? Like, if thisdoesn't work out, I'm gonna go to
school light that cost fights. Haveyou ever banged someone? Sister? No?
This says you have. Fuck.It'd be probably better for Bachelor at
parties because they'd ask like kind offun cute questions where guys would just go
straight up like have you ever donethis? Sor that? And done that?

(13:46):
But I'm not even necessarily talking aboutgetting a lie detective test. So
if the Power Trip one and Joecould destroy every friendship that is in the
room right like did you do this? Do you think? I'm just talking
about like what's Corey's wife name?But how great would that be? Can
you name Corey's wife? And ifsomebody says yes and it's clear that they're

(14:07):
lying, we can know once andfor all that they don't. There was
a bit that James Cordon did thelike stuff your face or like it was
like a thing where like you eitheryou answer you. The producers had questions
and the person either answered it.Oh my god, the space shuttle just
took off. Did you hear thatbubble? Sorry? Zach? I told

(14:31):
him, yeah, I heard youwhisper and then I just heard you said
it was gonna be so loud.I didn't know it was gonna be so
fucking wet, gross and disgust.Did your pants you absolutely have a wet
asshole? No, I guess youdon't. Did you shoot your golf clothes?
Check? Right now? Go ahead, turn around around, mushroom underground.

(14:54):
God, you have a brown spot. You have a brown spot in
your underwear? Mushroom underwear. Yeah, yeah, they look like you.
Yeah, fuck off? Captain?You are you are a captain? Way
to edit yourself on the afterparty?Off seaward, he's Colonel Seward. Now,

(15:18):
yeah, I have have a littleyou know, decor on here.
Let's let's be on the up andup and not use vulgarity. Yeah,
especially when the which one right?Which one? Cunt? Jesus not on
the after party, we're trying toget more. Yeah, you we what.

(15:39):
We've said it before, but whysay it now? I thought,
when it feels so good just tosay it, I thought you were talking
about the other sea words. Whatcrap, crap that cock that Jesus Paul
part made me Jesus Paul, JesusPaul jazz Us. I did, like
I can't wait for the people thatare listening to this to respond back,

(16:02):
because Sauce leaned over to whisper toChris, like I have to fart,
But Chris was right next to hisown microphone. You might have whispered right
into the microphone. I just saidreally loud and it almost because I wanted
to hear it. I just didn'tknow it was going to be that gross.
That was a ship. You shityourself, It was a gribbler.

(16:23):
You ever want to make hockey laugh? Google the old lady who gets awoken
by a scream and just goes,Yeah, let's play my favorite watch Indiana
laugh every time. It's the greatest. Fucking loves it. How can you

(16:45):
not love It's his favorite non pornographicvideo. It's kind of pornographic, that's
how much I love it. Yeah, I'm going to find that motherfucker because
when she leans up, he goes, Zach, can you run it through
the board? You haven't. Let'sfind it on YouTube and just run it
straight through there sold sits herself whenshe gets scared, right, I got

(17:07):
it. Yeah, but he's runningthrough the boards so people can actually hear
it. I love it because thedelayed reaction, there's like a split she
wakes up and she realizes immediately shipmyself. Imagine if you scared somebody just

(17:27):
for fun and then they had aheart attack and died, how do you
live with that guilt? That wouldbe terrible. Yeah. Yeah, if
I scared one of you and youdied, I'd feel awful. If I
scared one of you and you shityour pants, I would feel like I'm
the king of the world. Iwould tell that story for the rest of
my life. I tell it everyday. Every day. I just walk
up to somebody randomly and go,you want to hear what I did myself

(17:55):
myself? I don't what do youknow? That's so good? Oh?
God damn man. And she's sittingon the couch, she's in it.
Yeah, and she's just in it. Her granddaughter screams and it wakes up,
and it's a there's a split secondbefore it wakes her up, and

(18:18):
in that split second something happened inher dream that made her ship herself.
Yeah. That makes me laugh.God damn it. This looks like a
like one of those spam like fakefucking emails that scare cam I fucking myself.
Yeah, I just emailed that too, that's right. Thank you.
That's my favorite bid. It's superfunny. So good. Yeah, well

(18:41):
we got a couple more minutes?What great? Um be sure? Yeah?
So's he's working right now for Thursdaynight, departs her Monday night return.
Going to happen, Yeah, happenedbased on his last last text.
I would tell him to slow downon some of this stuff because some of
the stuff is variable his last textthere. Anyway, we'll figure it out.

(19:03):
Point is, we'll figure it out. So if if you're listening,
it might take us a week ortwo to get it together. But if
you want to come to Vegas withthe Power Tremony show what's happening. We
just have to work out the details, the hotel, the flights, the
days we're going there, all thatkind of stuff. But it is gonna
happen, and I'm nine is it? Don't you guys think it's fair to
say ninety nine percent that we're gonnado it where Vikings tickets aren't involved.

(19:26):
If you want to go to thegame, get your own tickets. You
have to get your own tickets.Yeah. So we're not going to roll
tickets into this because we know thatnot everybody wants to go to the game,
and even so, not everybody wantsthe same tickets. Right. If
you want to get tickets ten timesbetter than the ones that everybody else wants
to get, that to your choiceas well, right, So get Vikings
tickets as soon as they're available.I don't know when the single game tickets
go on sale, but don't waitfor us for those. But if you

(19:48):
want to come to Vegas with thePower Trip and go watch the Purple in
December, then just give us aweek or two to put this thing together
and we're gonna make it happen.Gonna send you a photo right now,
uh Corey, Yes, sir?The photos um labeled Lady of Ladies of
West Roast. I can't figure outwho a couple of them are. It's

(20:14):
a game of Thrones, that's whatI mean. Sorry. Yeah, Like,
I know obviously who the little blondehaired, dark haired girl is.
I mean I know who the twosisters are on the right, Um that
is, um, the one who'sa badass and the one who yes sanza
in Aria. Yeah then Gwendolen's obviouslythe tall gal, right, she's the
look how good she looks with hair? Right? Wow? That's crazy.

(20:37):
The gall in the middle. Isthat is the wildling girl that is like
John snow Well, she's Kit Harrington's. She's the one the bow and arrow
gall yep, okay. And thenthe one on the left is the gal
that was She was in that likeclan that had like the antlers. What
the hell was her name? Shewas? Um, she was like a

(20:57):
princess or queen or something too.Anis beef tips. He was the group
that had like the symbol that hadlike a hell was that name? Oh?
Man, hang on you boy,Game of Thrones? What do you

(21:22):
okay? So? Yeah, Soin this picture, the guy on the
right is Sauce. The guy onthe left is Nordo. Oh come on,
who the fuck is this Christmas card? What just happened? I just
looked up fat nude guys just becauseI wanted to send his hand. You
found two of them touchdown. Ilike this picture because I have a bigger

(21:42):
winer in both those guys. Ido. Man, I feel good if
you're good about myself. Every timeI'm feeling bad, I'm looking at that.
Are they are these two guys?Like? Are they together? Are
they brothers? Are they breaking aworld record? They're touching bellies. Luckily
that's all they're touching. But they'retouching naked gentlemen. And unless their last

(22:03):
name is Olsen, I doubt they'rebrothers. Brilliant. They're both in there,
what fifties, fifties maybe maybe earlysixties. Yeah, they're both very
heavy hot um, and they're bothnaked as jay birds. I got to
delete that from my photos because that'llgo right into my drop box. Send
it to Zach. I don't thinkhe wants to see that. What do
you assume he wants to sound good? Thank you? Though? I'll good.

(22:27):
Oh, I don't want to lookbad. Some of those peeps,
I don't want I don't thanks Stephen, Well, look over here, baby,
come on baby, yeah, lookat don't you're not curious about their
penises? It looks like from you'rewhat you're six seven feet away from me

(22:47):
right now, that looks like JackBlack and from this naked to get on.
Once you look up close, it'snowhere near either one of them.
But that's one of my favorite Oneof my favorite things to do is to
find terrible photos like that and justrandom and random text chains. When people
are asking me about concert tickets andthe best part the best PR. The

(23:10):
best PR is that fucking Antonio Brownpicture. You always said whatever when he's
standing there just nude looking at whatis that? So that is a butt
plug stuck in somebody's but yeah,well no, so they're butts down here.

(23:30):
Well that's all the way up inthe Yeah, so there's an MRI.
Um. This is the story thata man named jed Um attorney I
don't say his name. I'm sorry, this is the attorney. We can
say the name. So Chris goodnow, and that's attorney has picked up
a client who is suing a sextoy company. Said the client purchased a

(23:55):
butt plug that was advertised as onehundred percent silicone. Client it wears butt
plug to MRI appointment, much toclient's dismay, But plug in fact has
a metallic cores. But plug isaccelerated at the speed of sound into client's
chest. Cavity's described in memo asan anal rail gun. Clients survived with

(24:19):
major injuries anal rail gun album.Of course. Yeah, Jesus Christ,
is that hawk just sent me apicture of Sauce sitting on the toilet are
at work looking at his phone?Did you know he took that photos.

(24:44):
I thought he just went full onpa and took a photo of well.
I was sitting in the stall nextto him, and I heard him walk
in and then he just started makingterrible noises. I'm like, well,
I gotta take advantage. So Ijust slowly stuck my phone over the top
and took a picture and then intext of the tone. Because he didn't
know I was sitting next to him, he had no idea. He asked
me, where are you are?You wanted to literally mid shit. God,

(25:12):
yeah, I'm weird like that.All right. Last thing is we're
over the time. Yea. Thiswill only be applicable for twenty four hours.
How do you guys think dot comTom will do tomorrow? Because he's
super smart, Oh yeah, andhe knows the show well. I think
he'll do well. He'll be fine. Yeah, I think he'll do well.
I think he'll do well as well. I get to it's it's a
it's a five way battle though,tomorrow in Parish back. So yeah,

(25:33):
we'll see how dot com dom dotCom Tom does. I wonder if he
hates that nickname. No, Iwonder, I mean that's just what we've
called him for twenty years on thisstation. But I don't think the NFL
network calls him dot com Tom anymore. I don't think so, but no
doubt he does. We can askhim. That'll be one of the many
daring questions we asked tomorrow during thePower Trip morning. I think he's coming

(25:56):
in at seven twenty, right afternice good Zack. Yeah, what he
said, Zacho. Here look atthis pictures act that is meets us,
Paul Abert taking a ship. Yeah. I never thought i'd see the day
when I'd be able to get aninside look inside the style. Look at
Paul meet Sauce Lambert. He needsa vibrator cannon or whatever you called it,

(26:21):
an a real gun. That's it. There's your podcast title, you
know, reil gun Good Vegas.Want to thank anybody thanks to poker.
We love Haven Poker. Download theapp Play Poker on your phone for free.
It's super cool. Again. Ifyou want to advertise on this podcast
today a great example of what wehave to offer, just email us.

(26:42):
Don't email I heart email us andsay I'll advertise. I'll give you guys
money and then we'll say yes.Tell random stories about taking poopy pictures.
Yep. Absolutely yeah, all right, have anybody Bye,