Maxx's Plans - The Power Trip After Party

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to the Haven Poker Power Tripafter party. Yeah, thank you Haven
Poker. It's a haven for me. When I am sick of talking to
you guys, I go to HavenPoker. It's my haven away from you
sons of bitches. We haven't playedagainst each other. No, No,
I don't want to play against youagain. Why because I beat you and
I want to retire saying that Idon't want to have to ever live through
that again. I did it.It's over, John, Yeah, like

(00:22):
I'm not gonna live through World Wartwo again? Right? I won.
That's how it goes, right andright? Yeah? So what you were
on the right side of World Wartwo this time? Oh time? Go
to Haven Poker. Though on theapp Store you can download it. It's
absolutely free to play. The onlykey is you want to enter the promo
code Power Trip in the first fortyeight hours to double your initial bank roll.

(00:45):
That's promo code Power Trip first fortyeight hours, double your initial bank
roll. Then you can play againstyour friends. There's tournaments. There's an
adventure mode. You can upgrade yourcharacter mode is the best. It is
fun. The adventure modunt I'm prettyfar you're playing right now, he's got
a pair of six and he justwent in all in. You got nothing,
Yeah, but you bet anyway,Go all in, Go all in,

(01:08):
go all in. Plus, theydon't have to have it. They
don't know that you're bluff and sweepe. They don't know that you're dressed like
you're ready to go. Remember thefirst segment of today's show, Yeah,
it was about your penis. That'sright. Do you know all the jokes
I make, all the wishes thatI have, all the life that I
talk about, I would live.That's Max's life in reality because he's in

(01:30):
good shape, smart guy, he'sgot a huge dick. Yeah, peak
mental capacity, skinny, he's ingood shape. He's he's got everything you
want. And the other thing wetalked about, the huge pen um.
That's his life. Have you everCorey in your illustrious sex career? Whoa
been? Was it illustrious? Idon't know, I don't know. I'm

(01:53):
guessing. Have you ever been toldby a lovely lady or gentleman that,
um, I have not been tolda lovely gentleman. I don't I don't
care what you do. Hockey doesn'tjudge. Have you ever been told by
somebody that um that if if youkeep effing them that good there, it's
going to drive them crazy. Haveyou ever heard the quote somebody buy you

(02:19):
groceries because you fucked them so good? Have you ever had somebody literally um
burst into tears because you were leavingthe country and taking your dick with you?
Oh this a week or two ago. We just talked about how you
should basically turn into Jeff box Worthywith your target bit like you ever walked
into target? Now that should bethe new bit. You ever fucked somebody

(02:39):
so good they cried when you leftthe country? Right? You might?
Yeah, you might be Max.You never had a bitch by your groceries?
You fuckers so good? You mightbe max Fuller. Ever, do
you ever dream of banging a girllike your whole life? Because you went
to school with them and then youmatch with them on a app and so

(03:00):
you bang them. But neither ofyou ever acknowledged the entire time that you
knew each other in grade school?You might be mad. That's the weirdest
story. You've taught me some weirdstories. I don't know why you guys
didn't acknowledge that you knew each other. I don't know why we didn't either.
It just was like it just nevercame up. But I knew that
I knew her. I remember ogiland her an art class, and she

(03:20):
definitely knew you. She definitely knewme. But at no point it was
we didn't even we haven't seen eachother in ten years. We didn't even
by the way, we just watchedDarry Springer. That's all we do.
Yeah, that's the second lady ina month or so that you've done that
you knew in high school and wantedto bang. That's true, and it
happened, but this time neither ofyou acknowledged it didn't. Incredible. Incredible.

(03:43):
May I ask you a few thingsbecause I was talking to somebody about
this the other day. It's soalien to me, and I know we've
talked about this before, but Idon't think this aspect of it. When
you meet somebody on bumble, youboth know you're gonna get it on.
Sometimes. Oh sometimes it depends,Like for me, like if if they
want to meet in public, you'reshaking your head, come over, you
feel free comment. Got to commentme if I'm wrong, because you're the

(04:04):
expert on this. But I thinkBumble is more of a deity like or
notionship app because that's when the womansays, well, I suppose the woman
women, what's the hinge is themore dey hinge is the one that's more
serious, and Tender is kind ofjust like nobody actually ever has success on
Tender because there's so many people onevery literally every woman I know, like

(04:27):
I have. It shows you howmany likes you have in your que I
have like fifteen, and I thoughtthat was a lot, and I'm like,
oh sweet, I'm getting babes.Every woman I know has over a
thousand, yeah, of course,and then and the sixteen that I have
don't pop up, So like youcan have over a thousand people that have
already liked you and you might neversee them. So it's really hard to
get a match on Tinder, whereasopposed to and especially Tender. When you

(04:47):
when as a woman, you know, like I got a thousand dudes line
up, you better fucking entertain me, right in your first sense better otherwise
you're out yea right, right,But Bumble, the woman has to start
the conversation. And for me,I've I've had like it's ninety nine percent
of the times I get laid offan app it's bumble. Okay. Yeah,
then let me ask you the question, how does the process go?

(05:10):
Like, do you know, um, because of the conversations you're having that
there's gonna be some pipe lade oror is that something that you don't know
until you actually meet the person.Well, it really depends. Like the
girl that yelled, I don't knowif you mentioned that, the same girl
that bought me grocery shield. Thankyou, I didn't. I'm sorry,
Cory. Have you ever been banginga girl and the entire time you're making

(05:34):
sweet love to her, she's thankingGod the entire time. No, okay,
well you might be, Max,it's my point. Okay, there
wasn't that one kind of right?Oh yeah, she was thinking God,
but there was no banging to thestory. No, it's a long story.
Yeah, it's not nearly as funas your I'll tell you off the

(05:57):
here though, Max, you'll appreciateit. Okay. So it's my my
one super bizarre story from my twenties. Oh I wish I had a thousand
stories like you. I just havethis one. Basically, well, this
is my home run. The theEBT thing is by far, I think
the most bizarre thing that's happened sofar. Yeah that was Yeah, that
was pretty wild. She brought yougroceries with her EBT. Yeah, this

(06:18):
this this lady that she yelled thankyou mid sex and then I told her
like I'm gonna be out of town. She broke down, crying, like
actual tears. She broke down,like actual tears crying, and she's like,
I just I just want to dosomething for you. Oh, here
comes chat Ab. He's hold,he's heard this story before. Tell your

(06:42):
boss about it. Yes, we'retelling a story about him banging a girl
so hard that there's high school Ohmy god, no, no, okay,
you profit the afterpart. Come onin, take a look at what

(07:08):
we got going out of here.Yeah, please see really quick. Would
you like to see We're in themidst of recording right now, you buddy,
want to come on in cheaper?This guys, guys post Yeah,

(07:32):
podcast is super exciting. Yep,this is uh, this is it.
We're sports the future, just talkinga little sports. You're breaking down the
Panthers draft this year. I'm abig fan of what they did with at
at the drafting. Yeah, yeah, right, how's it going. This

(07:55):
is how it's done. This iswhat professional see you guys, professionalism work.
Alright, how's it going? Highschool? Welcome? All right?
I thank you, thank you.Yes, well, yeah, he's never

(08:20):
listening, so it doesn't matter.Yeah, exactly. I can't believe it
just happened. Absolutely please, yes, sure, yeah, Max, he's
probably not as big of a fanas that prison you're talking about. Max.

(08:43):
Thank you, Thank you, Max. Morning. I love me.
I agree, thank you. Iagree. I'm a big fan of dinner.
I'm very hungry. So see man, thank you very much, thank
you. Meet you. Okay,and we walk and okay, now the
doors. You opened the door,and Chris is going tell Chad about the

(09:07):
chick you band like as loud aspossible. We didn't know there was a
group of kids behind you. They'restill probably what did we talk about?
Beats? The sporting Yeah, Isaid, I mentioned something about my penis
and letting your meat loaf. Idon't remember what it was. Yeah,
I did say that. No,Chad come in. Max's talking about that

(09:30):
chickie bands. I'm still ra nowherethat none of them hurt. Somebody heard,
somebody heard, dye. They're blockingthe door. They're not here.
You know, it's crazy high schoolers. But no, no, nobody thinks
they look as young as they dowhen they're in high school because they all

(09:52):
think they're adults, now right,those kids all look like they're like,
well even though they're seventeen and eighteenyears old, my daughter right like,
and and Chris just yelled that atI didn't yell at them. I yelled
them in their vicinity without they were, and ask if they'd like to hear
Max's story. They were not yelledat. Hockey did not know, buried
into the corner of the room,no idea. Yeah, you are right.

(10:16):
They're all in the lead though,all right, showing them a good
time over there, Yeah, leaveas I take care of him out there.
And this isn't she wasn't talking aboutthat a cool one. And this
isn't a joke or euphemism. Theyliterally all have suckers, so they couldn't
look younger. But they're all walkingaround with blow pops like, oh,
we're on a tour, Max,When you bang that chick blow popsy well

(10:41):
liked. I mean, it's aradio tour and anatomy class all ands over
for us. Yeah, so Maxso anyway, Max, you were saying,
you leave tomorrow at noon, Dude, fly to Puerto Rico, San
Juan Rico. I'm there for acouple of days, going out everybody.
Everybody socks and bonds. I mean, come on, okay, Tims closed.

(11:11):
Well it's Tim's fault. Is stillin high schools one of those like,
uh, what the was that neverbeen kissed or whatever? Intending to
be high school my girlfriend? Yeah, it's like that, officie, Right,
what's your thought on that? TheAndy Office episode where they go to
the high school and he runs intohis girlfriend pretty creepy. Yeah, I

(11:35):
like that. He admits they neverhooked up, but he still remember these
funny lines and like we just wentmailbox. He was some of her friends,
Oh my god, but he neverhooked up with it. That's a
super cringey, hard to watch episode. That's weird. Yeah, but that
was It's kind of funny. Imean, there were so many lines in
that show. Now you'd be like, well that show just got cants.

(11:56):
Oh No, every shows like that, I think, you know, but
I think the point with characters likeAndy and Michael Scott is that they're dumb,
like you're supposed to allow us differentif Jim was dating to high school
and then it'd be like, wait, what the fuck they're dumb? Were?
They never addressed in that episode though, And I never quite understood this.
What was in it for her?She clearly wasn't that interested in him.
Yeah, so he thought she waslike a manager at a like a

(12:20):
coffee shop or something. I forgetexactly. I forget was she actually trying
to date him or just hanging outwith some old dude. I don't quite
get that. It didn't matter.Maybe maybe I don't around. Maybe they
met. I want to max hisapp Let's get kick, don't get high.
So back to uh to you know, clean ended up as much as

(12:41):
they can't. Um they can.So when you uh, when you hook
up with the lady and you matchand you guys decide you're going to meet
somewhere, like most of the timehasn't been decided already that you're gonna get
it on. No, it's honestlykind of just like you're playing the game,
going with the flow. You don'tknow, you know, you might
be wasting your time. Yeah,No, necessarily I like making friends and

(13:03):
stuff too, But I mean,for me, one sign that it's more
than likely going to happen. Isif we meet for the first time at
somebody's house, If it's at myhouse with their house is probably. It's
especially the time of day too,like if it's like after eleven, what
are you gonna you know? Butum what do you smile it out?

(13:24):
I have another question. How muchkissing is there? No, there's a
lot of kissing. Kissing. I'ma passionate lover man. I'm not a
you know, these are weird theseare human beings. I'm giving them good
luck. Just do not kiss,but like I do a significantly less when
it comes to Yeah, right,I feel you. You get right into

(13:48):
it. Yeah, um, Ijust kind of just kind of depends on
the situation. Have you ever livedmy dream? Have you ever like whooped
it out and they've been like,you must leave. You bought your groceries
before him? Because have you evertaken it out? And literally they threw
the white flag and called their sister. I know, I did have a

(14:11):
girl one time who asked me fora mold of my penis, and then
this other this other check one time. I'm not even making this stuff.
Oh. I asked that if Johnkresol once and I brought it to the
airport. Actually did I had toget my desk. Yeah, that's very
won't fit in the carry on UM. But I had this one, this
one woman. After we were done, she said, I worship your dick,

(14:33):
and then I kind of just laughedat it. Okay, that's weird,
but like, and then you sawthe church that she bought the street,
just picturing like two candles on theother side of the mold, and
just every time I put on aweird little pope. You have to apologize
to your new girlfriend because she comesover every Sunday. We're having a little

(14:54):
ceremonious snow big deal. She doespay time, though, awkward because you
said it. And then I wasjust kind of like, oh, she's
just it's just you know, postcoitus or whatever. But twenty minutes later
she was like, no, butseriously, wow, I really do.
These are words I've never correct soI know I've told this story before,
but I was at a UM pokertable in Vegas. I was not worshiping

(15:20):
Max, and a guy from Europewas over for a bachelor party, and
it was the first time I'd everseen Tinder and all he did was swipe
right, swipe right, swipe right. He just he wanted because he was
in town for three days, fourdays, just wanted to get as many
fishing poles in the water as possible, right, Yeah, And then again
showed us the two or three thathe wouldn't swipe right on and just laughed
his ass off, like, nochance, I'm hooking up with this,

(15:41):
go right, long winded way ofsaying, when you go overseas, when
you land in Bogata, Columbia,are you just swiping right for six hours?
Absolutely? Well, there's they havelimits now you have to pay to
have unlimited likes. You only getbecause of that. Just so, then
how many likes do you get without? Honestly, it's weird as kind of

(16:02):
right to judge. Sometimes I'm bumble. I feel like I get like ten,
fifteen, twenty, and then sometimesa day or what is that for?
Yeah, I think it's per day, But it's it's so weird how
it changes. Sometimes I swipe twiceand then it's like you're out for the
day, and sometimes I can doit forever. And so what's your strategy
when you go to South America?Swipe as many as posts until they max
you out. Yeah, pretty muchtill until they booed me out of there.
I'm just keep going, keep swipinga little tip on that you can

(16:25):
go a little bit longer. Whyare you looking at me? I'm fucking
married. If you're looking right atme, like like, I'm going to
take notes right in the stone.If you look at their photos on each
profile, so like I Tender,you just hit tap tap, tap,
and you scroll through. I don'tknow if it is with Bumble, but
I've had a better experience with tinderwear. If you look at their profile and
then you swipe right, it givesyou a little bit more because it thinks

(16:48):
you're actually like looking The algorithm likesthat when you're actually like paying more attention
to each and so go through themotions and act like you're interested. That's
fascinating. Um so when you're not, you know, ball's deep. What
are you gonna be doing? Whatare you looking forward to all over there
besides tasting the local Cuisineer, Well, I'm going to the rainforest when I'm

(17:12):
in Brazil, so that's gonna becool. Apparently there's a giant freaking rainforest
right in the middle of Rio deJaneiro. There's like monkeys and everything and
ship and there, so that'd besweet. Oh, they got the giant
one of the seven Wonders of theWorld, the Christ of the Redeemer statue,
Corey's favorite seventh one, chef um. So that's really exciting. There's

(17:33):
getting up there. Yeah, it'sgonna be It's gonna be a hike.
I've heard it takes a couple hours, but I've heard the view is just
breathtaking. There's like cable cars andstuff you can take up there. I
thought about, depending on the price, I've thought about like paragliding or doing
something that while I'm like that whileI'm over there, because I've heard it's
just beautiful, beautiful views and stufflike that. But Perue, I'm still
debating if I'm gonna say, becauseI'm in Lima, that's not where Machu

(17:53):
Pichu is. But I could takelike a day trip and go to Machu
Pichu. So I'm debating. I'mleaning towards doing that. What kind of
dangerous wildlife at any of these placesyou're going. Are we talking giant snakes,
a lot of skaters, crocs?What are we talking about? I
think there's like, um, likedangerous insects. I mean, I'm kind
of freaked out by monkeys, honestly. And I think I'm scarred from watching

(18:14):
that episode of Oprah where the ladygot her face ripped off when I was
a kid. Champa played the audioof that. Yeah, we get in
trouble for that. Yeah, ButI'm like, I just I love learning
about the cultures and the places thatI'm going to, you know, I
like going to museums and stuff likethat, just trying as much different foods
as possible. I think it wasColombia they got like guinea pig or something

(18:34):
like that. I'll try that.I have one in Plymouth if you want
it, Yeah, sure, whynot thou? Yeah, sure, I'm
excited. I'm just I'm excited.I love. I love learning about each
place and each culture and getting toknow people and stuff. Do you stay
in the what are they called airbnbs? Oh you're staying, You're not stay
in what do they call it?Hostiles? Yeah? I've done. I've

(18:56):
done a lot of hot pretty mucheverywhere I've ever day, and I stayed
in a hostle. But when Iwas in Budapest, I had an apartment
all to myself and that was reallyreally freaking nice. And the hustle experience
is fun because you get to meetpeople, but sometimes it's shitty because people
are shitty. I was gonna askyou, Yeah, idn'tenough, like if
you've ever been in any dangerous situationsin a hostel, not dangerous, but
just really you know, I mean, maybe dangerous for the guy I was

(19:18):
about to just punch this dude inthe face for whatever reason. He was
just listening to animal noises out loudoff of his phone at three in the
morning in Barcelona, like very veryloudly, and so that was obnoxious and
people get all like bitchy about soundand stuff like that. Like so I
just kind of like want to havemy own space, especially with I don't

(19:40):
you know, you have to worryabout your stuff and if someone's gonna take
your stuff and all that. So, and it's pretty cheap from what I've
looked looked at, like clothes services, all that type of stuff is really
cheap out there, So I don'tthink it's going to be too expensive.
When you land in Puerto Rico,like the world's joyst write like you have
no plans about anywhere you have tobe at any point. No, yeah,
I don't have freedom. I don'thave any itinerary or plans. I

(20:03):
just kind of like I look stuffup on the way or just like I
like, you know, ramping upto my trip. I like reading books,
listening to music, watching movies fromeach of the countries and cultures I'm
going to. So I'm not justlike a totally ignorant American going in there
and stuff. You know. SoI have some ideas, but I'm I'm
not one of those people that likehas a whole list of it. I'm
gonna do this at this time forthis long. I just I don't know.
I'm when I'm on vacations, I'mmore busy than i am when I'm

(20:27):
at home. Went for the freedom, right, you want to just not
have to do anything you don't wantto do exactly, And that's the thing.
So I was like, traveling byyourself is like you have the ultimate
freedom of like what do I wantto do? There's nobody around that I
even have to think about what dothey want to do? Or what can
I do that's interesting to tell myfriends or this and that It's like who

(20:47):
am I at the end of theday when nobody's around and what do I
want to do? Do you everget bored? Though? Like, do
you ever get to a city inthree hours and you're like, I haven't
found shit to do. What amI gonna do with the rest of the
day. I kind of felt likethat a little bit in London. It
was kind of boring. Honestly,London was a little bit underwhelming for me.
While I was there. I waskind of like, damn, this
is just kind of like everywhere else. But then I was like, well,
I guess that's the point they colonizedthe whole world. I guess that's

(21:11):
the point that is like everywhere else. But for the most part, all
the places I go to, Ijust I have so much I'm interested by
so many different things that I rarelyever get bored. And a lot of
the times I don't stay in thesecities for super long, so I'm only
there for like two to three nightsmost of the time, so I don't
even have enough time to know.Many countries you've been to so far,
um plans to go to outer spaceafter sparts again. I've been to the

(21:33):
Philippines, Japan, England, France, Spain, Sweden, Ireland, Hungary,
Italy, Scotland, Mexico, Cuba. I think I've been. I
think in total, if you kindof like Monaco and the Vatican and stuff

(21:55):
like that, I think it's aroundthirteen or fourteen. That's awesome. Have
you been to Canada? I havebeen to Canada. This one too.
Yeah. I got super baked inCanada on my layover. I was like,
I went to the dispensary. Itwas like a blizzard, but I'm
like, I want to fucking seeToronto, you know. So I went
to the dispensary and the guy's like, dude, you're sure you want this
one? This is this is likefor cancer patients, and I'm like,

(22:15):
man, I smoked dog, likecome on now. And there was two
joints. I smoked one of themand I've called my little brother and I
was like, way too hot whereI'm in another country, bro, oh
gosh. And you were just ona layover. Yeah, just on a
layover. I got ripped. AndI also, for whatever reason, my
phone could call, but it couldn't. It wasn't using internet. So my

(22:37):
little brother had to be like myman in the chair and get me back
to the airport and I'm just navigatingToronto Stone in a blizzard. Yeah,
it was crazy, um man tisYeah, yeah it is good. I
never even rode a plane before twentyeighteen. You know what I'm saying,
are you? Man? Yeah?Once I went to I just realized I'm

(23:00):
like traveling the world. That's that'smy thing, Like my life goals to
see the whole world. I wishI could encourage Abigail to do that.
It's just scarier for a girl.But she goes in Germany and June here
at the very beginning of June forthree weeks. But it's a study of
broad thing. And I think she'swith twenty two people. Yeah, thank

(23:22):
god, you know. But andand again I do, I really do,
because I would never tell her notto. But I'd be scared shitless
if she was doing what you're doing, Yeah I would. Yeah. And
like if she wanted, like agood place to start, like is Japan,
if she wanted to go on asolo. It's Japan. Like it
is the safest country by far thatI've ever been. I mean, stores

(23:44):
don't even have fucking sensors, Likepeople leave in It's Tokyo. It's the
most populous city by area in thewhole world, and people leave their belongings
out on like to dry outside,and nobody takes it. You know,
women like even here, like sometimeslike I never saw a woman just riding
a bike around at three in themorning by themselves, not even looking over
the shoulder when there was a groupof dudes passing by. I mean,

(24:06):
it's that safe. People don't eventhink about crime. So if you if
she ever wanted to go somewhere,Japan would be a good first. That
place made a huge impression on you. Man, you always talking about one
to live there. I do,I do. Like, um, my
brother was stationed over there when Iwas really young, and he came back
over with a bunch of Japanese toys, anime, comic books and all that
shit. So I got really interestedin Japanese history. I took Japanese class

(24:26):
in high school and learned something.I was actually able to like converse with
people while I was over there,so that was super cool. But like,
that place was just it was incredible, and it was the perfect first
place to go to because I didn'texperience anything like when I tell you,
no, people treated me better inremote parts of Japan than I get treated
even in Apple Valley sometimes, likenobody fucking stared at me, nobody tried

(24:47):
to touch my hair, nobody saidanything weird to me, which is like
that happens almost everywhere I go.You know, like I could call the
N word in London. I wasthere for ten minutes like, um,
yeah he did a little drive,but just nigger. Oh you're making much
funnier than it was. Yeah,But I said the whole walk, I

(25:10):
was like, maybe he's a digger, right, you know, I'm not
trying to give him a benefit ofthe down. I was like, I
did just leave a fried chicken spotthough. I mean, yeah, there
are KFC's every five feet in Englandit's the bizarre, and Asia too they
KFC Because you you wonder when yousee the KFC in America, you're like,

(25:33):
nobody fucking goes to the Hot Eyesis better, Canes is better,
Yeah, Chick fil A is better. Nobody goes to KFC. But then
you wonder how it's in business internationalthat's every international airport. Yeah, they're
everywhere. They're huge. Yeah,but yeah, Japan made a huge impression.
I mean the people are just verykind and like it was just so
safe and beautiful and so I betyou're pretty close to the same time zone

(25:56):
when you're down. That's my momsaid. She looked at the Bogata time
and it was the same as here. You get a chance. Yeah,
I would love to, man,I would love to get collect the charges
sign scary. Yeah, yeah,I know what I'm saying. We'd love
to hear, you know, especiallyif you get abducted. We'd love to
just hear about it, right.Yeah, don't call Rosy because he'll talk

(26:18):
about some time when he was kidnapped. I'll send your captor as a stream
yard lanky ad idea. Yeah,we really want to Yeah, yeah,
you can still be part of theshow. Can you move the camerover so
we can see Max with the nozzlein his mouth? Yeah? Well have
fun, dude, I'll through you. Yeah, yea. We'll see you
in two freaking weeks. Two weeksunless you decide to stay and that's cool

(26:42):
too. Yeah that might happen.Man, We'll come see you all right.
Thank you having poker the after partyand sorry to all the kids from
Proctor. I'm sorry for God's sakes, I didn't know what are you guys
doing in there. Bang Max talkmore about and that broad