Don't Put A Time Limit On Your Dream, But Put One On You Doing It For Free

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I want to tell you really quickly about an email

(00:01):
I received late yesterday afternoon from Los Angeles. I was
from a an agency, but tied to a screening of
a film taking place tonight far reaches of Connecticut, a
good hour drive from where I live, at one of them.
You know one thing, Connecticut's got a lot of as
historical theaters. And I don't just mean you know, like

(00:23):
your good speeds and your Norma terraces and your Ivoryton playhouses.
I mean old moved art house movie theaters, refurbished, restored.
Never heard of this place doing screening tonight, and they're
going to have two of the stars of the film there.
And they said, do you want to moderate? We need

(00:43):
a moderator, which I've done a handful of times, and
I just love doing it. You know, it's a great gig.
I'd love to do more of it. You know, I
did carry Elvis with Princess Bride, Phil Rosenthal and you
sit there and you ask them. I get my James
Lipton on and I was so excited at the prospect
of sitting down with a few of the actors from
this this art house film that I've just seen. It's

(01:05):
out now at this historic movie house here in Connecticut.
They apologize for being so last minute, and I'm like,
it's all good, wonderful opportunity. You know, really appreciative of
you reach it out. I would totally be down for
doing this. What is the fee for this? You know,
it's always been different. Like I said, I've done it
like four or five times, and I would take whatever

(01:26):
it was. Sometimes it pays really well, and then other
times it's not as good as the last time. But
you know, you're usually sitting there and I've been this
wonderful exchange for twenty thirty minutes. You take it out
to the audience and it's all very smooth sailing, and
I love it. I said, so, just you know, let
me know what it pays and the specifics and we're
good to go. Well, no reply, And this was late

(01:48):
yesterday afternoon. I started getting a little bit itchy as
we get closer to the morning radio guys bedtime, and
I'm telling my son, I said, I'm not hear them
back from now. I want to nail this down tomorrow.
I got a hell of a day, but I'd love
to cap it off here. But that's a that's a
haul for me from where we are. I gotta know
what's going on. And then I said to my son
at one point, I don't know where. I think it's
because I introduced money to the equation, to which he replied, well,

(02:12):
I'm glad you did, which it's always very interesting for
a young, starving artist like himself to make. He's like, well,
it's a good thing that you did. Come bedtime, I'm like,
I got to hit this woman, but it's la time.
There's three hour difference, so I hit her bag. I go,
sorry to be a past, but if we're going to
do this, you know it's less than twenty four hours
away right now. Just let me know if we're to go.
You had never mentioned what the fee was on this

(02:35):
and exactly what time you would need me to be
there dress go. She gets back to me in a
boom and a shot, and she goes, it's so great
to connect with you. You know, we love your clips, and
thanks so much for responding so quickly. We did find
another moderator, though, but it's good to know you'd be
interested in the future, to which you know. I sat

(02:56):
there and I thought I responded quickly, and your appreciative
of me responding quickly, and yet you already have someone else,
so I replied, I'm like, oh, okay, all good. She
said there will be more in the future. I'm like,
you would just have to again because you seem to
be avoiding this. Let me know what the pay for
this is. She had mentioned something about the exposure and

(03:19):
my brand, because that's pay nowadays, it's exposure and brand.
My brand is foreclosure. My brand is I'm five minutes
from sixty. I don't do anything for free anymore. I
don't do anything for my brand. My brand is established
at fifty eight. If I didn't, then I failed. If

(03:42):
you don't know who I am and what I do
and all the things that I failed, it's established. I
can't eat exposure. I can't feed it to my kids.
It's insulting. And I could tell at the end, like
that's it. My son again, holding steadfast is just like
good free. He saw me do a lot of freebies

(04:02):
in his lifetime. Used to tick his mom off. Actually,
sometimes that's not a slimmer. Sometimes she'd be like, I
should be paying you for this, because I was still
hustling and I hadn't yet turned that corner yet. I'm
going back now, you know, a dozen years, so I
think he was aware, like he knows how much volunteering
I do. At the same time, he's a kid who's

(04:24):
he ain't NYU like some guys. He knows he isn't
at Yukon like some guys he graduated with. And a
lot of times I think he thinks that's because of
old charity minded dad. Oh can't say no, dad, you know.
So I give him the update there and I'm like, bummer,

(04:45):
I love that movie and I would have loved to
have chatted with those guys. But I'm it's very obvious
he didn't even reply to my last email. They're not
paying for this, which what are you You want to
get some local somebody from an other news channel or
wherever you're gonna whatever pond you're gonna fish from, and
they're gonna buy, Like, how that'd be good for me?
Photo op. I get clicks on my social media because

(05:06):
I'm with one of the stars of the movie. Do
I get the thirty five year old who's like a
good little gig for me? Man? And I'm yeah, I'm
fifty eight in gasoline. It would cost me ninety dollars
just to get like it would cost cost me money
for my brand and I don't really want to talk
about my brand anymore, and exposure and all of this

(05:29):
crap I want to eat. I want to ill part.
And then my daughter gets there and we ap prey
apprise her of the situation. We all all three of
us had seen the movie together. And her response, as
a college graduate who's out there hustling, is you should
have paid them to do this. I was her response. Yeah,

(05:51):
I've been wrestling with this for a little while ever since,
because I'm like, at fifty eight years old, you don't
do anything for free. I remember when a guy I
worked with, he's a filmmaker who now lives in Vegas,
he told me, I remember it was about fifteen years ago.
He goes, stop doing stuff for free. And I remember

(06:13):
he was kind of flailing, and I'm like, yeah, because
I'm going to take advice from you. But ultimately he
goes stop. When somebody says to you, you know, write
me thirty pages on this year, on this idea. When
you pitch an idea, your response to them is how
much are you going to pay me for those thirty pages? Now?
At this time, I was in my forties and it's like, oh, dude,
you want me to play a hard ball. I don't
want to play. At fifty eight, I can play that

(06:33):
hard ball. Pay me and I'll show you. You know.
It had to come with time. So my knee jerk
with my daughter was I wanted to say to it, no,
you get paid for your time. But at twenty two,
that isn't right. At twenty two, I would say to her, no,
don't pay to do it. But yeah, I'm in. You
got me, you know, and social right and well beyond.

(06:58):
I was doing this into my early forties. That's when
the ex wife started getting like, all right, mister forty
four years old, you just did that whole thing in
New York City and everybody's talking about it and it
was a big hit and you didn't even get paid
for that. She wasn't wrong. It's right around then, I
would say, and especially because I was establishing my brand
at that time for real, like I now I have.

(07:22):
So I struggled with my daughter. I'm like, look, when
you get opportunities, you got to take into consideration your expenses.
You're going to drive your car to the train station
and then pay for the train. Like, let's start thinking
bigger picture are because you might get some great opportunities
where they're like, this is gonna look great on your resume.
Can I eat that? Will that pay for my car insurance? Yeah?

(07:46):
Or is Daddy going to keep doing that? I mean,
but it's a tough conversation to have with her, especially
knowing like jim me at twenty two, I was a
chump man. I was going out of my own pocket
to be in films at that age, I was losing
money on it. But at least Sag saw to it
that you got what do you call it, your day

(08:09):
player part you Sag minimum, you got something, but it
was still you still lost because I flew myself to
LA and put myself up in LA and my point
just being and my son too. He might be a
little bit too much the other way because they both have,
really they have artistic goals and visions and things that

(08:30):
they want to do, and they both hustle in very
different ways. So it's an interesting thing because you know,
in the middle of all of this is somebody from
Los Angeles who's a big fan of ma at the
movies and saw you know, proximity wise, probably thought they dry.
You know, how big is Connecticut, that can't be that
far a drive, and thought, let's be honest, probably not

(08:56):
much older than my daughter, and just thought, this is
great for your brand. Huh, You're in everybody's movie see
little old freebe for fifty eight year old you hop
in your beat to Hell Subaru Forrester that I had
no idea was the number one vehicle in the lesbian
community and should have been told that. How about that though,

(09:17):
Huh for your brand? You'll say, in front of this
room full of people by me, you say your little catchphrase, Yeah,
I'm not Gary Coleman. Gary Coleman's dead. I don't need
to be up there saying what you're talking about New Canaan.
But it's true. It's just like I fit. Don't talk
about exposure and brand And to a fifty eight year
old living in Connecticut with a more house with children,

(09:43):
with gas, private groceries, none, you just don't. You got them.
And that's what I wanted my kids takeaway to be
is there's don't put a time limit on the dream,
but put a time limit on when you stop doing
it for free.