Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Well, we have got our courageous coach here back with us. Fiona,
the birthday girl, just had a birthday yesterday, so happy birthday,
feeling all refreshed, and Fiona, I just got back from vacation.
Then I had my thirteenth grand baby, and now I've
got to go to Oklahoma so I can hold little
baby Phoebe. It's a seven hour trip. And I think
your topic today is it's like a god thing, it's perfect. Yes, Well,
(00:27):
but you want to talk about questions that we can
ask our partner just to kind of get to know
each other a little better, right.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Yes, exactly. Well, first of all, congratulations on the thirteenth
grand baby, Dice. Thank you. I'm just a little bit
jealous because I haven't got any yet.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I'll come and once they start coming, it's like it
never ends. It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yes, So I have these conversation starters for friendship in
your relationship, and the first thing to say about it is,
this is not a questionnaire. This is not like either
you answer with one sentence their conversation starters. So the
first question is what was your favorite gift as a
(01:07):
child and why So so someone might say, oh, I
don't know my my space hopper. You know there's there's
do you remember those bright orange balls with the things
that you hold on to and you jump around the
garden with it? Uh, so, like why why? Why? Because
my parents gave it to me and I was five
(01:28):
and it just seemed like the coolest thing on earth
and I don't know whatever, But let it be a
conversation and then and then they can you know, you
can ask it back of your partner and and they
can talk about their thing and just say like, oh yeah,
I remember that too, And you know, so you've got something,
you're building something in common.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yes, these are friendship conversation starters. And I like that
you said that, because with our spouse, we really need
to be friends.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Yes, exactly like that. I've actually got you don't know this,
but I've actually got another set of questions which are
for deepening the relationship. So they're more sort of serious questions,
you know, deeper level. But these ones are just fun
questions to just I mean, you could use them on
at first date, but you could equally use them just
(02:16):
with somebody you've been married to for forty years, because
they're just getting back into the conversation. Of just kind
of what we in England we called banter, you rapport
kind of.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Thing instead of nagging, bantering.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Sort of all the logistic things. You know, what time
do the kids need picking up? Did you remember to
feed the cats? You know, I whish are also important,
but they're not building friendship, you know, they're just getting
stuff done.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
So I love the gift one. That's a great one.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yes, My favorite question actually is there's one which is
name three things we have in common, and in brackets
I've put not material things because you could so easily say, well,
house are good, so our cars, you know or whatever
our car, and no three things we haven't common, like
we both love going to the theater or the cinema,
(03:10):
or you know, we both love traveling and I love
or we like reading books aloud together.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Or you know, how about having since the radio station
our favorite song. Bob and I do have a lot
of similarities in the music that we listen to.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Yeah, but that's that's that's great because music is so
kind of impactful, you know, so it resonates with our
with our emotions, you know, like you can't sing a
love song to somebody you don't love.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Right, right, right, I'll never forget, Bob said.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
He said his favorite song is Enrique Iglesias let Me
be your Hero. That is so kind, I mean, because
that's what that's what he thought about when he hears
that song unsunny, that's neat. I'll never forget that that thought.
That's a good one.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
I like that one.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
What's your favorite song, Danna.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I'm Steve winwood Hire love.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
But there is also another song that's become this song
of the Summer by Ella Langley. It's choosing Texas. It's
a fun kind of boot scootin song. I love to dance.
Bob doesn't, but maybe you never know, never say never.
Maybe he would do that song. It's really fun.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Maybe he can watch she dance exactly he does he does.
That's a great idea.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah, and then another song. Sorry. Another question that I
love is what superpower would you like to have? And
how would you use it? That's always a fun one.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Perfect timing because I took Bob on a date day
yesterday to see Spider Man.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Oh great, yes, yes, another trip on your trip to Oklahoma.
You've got you said, you've got seven hours. Yes, So
what I would recommend rather than just kind of going
through this like a questionnaire and just whizzing through it is.
Ask one question, get into conversation about it, leave it
for a while, and you know, then come back, you know,
(04:59):
and hour or two later, ask another question and you know,
get into that conversation. Leave it through. Well, make sure
that both of you, you know, get a chance to
speak and so you can ask the same question back
to him that he's asked you or whatever. You know?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Do you post this this list of friendship questions? Could
people find these from you? I mean, these are great topics,
but they're just just if there's more, just some some
friendship starters.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
I could post them. I've not posted them yet because
I usually just give them to people that i'm working with.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Gotcha, Okay, yeah, but that's.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
A good idea. Yes, I could post them and then
people could people could get access to them.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
So we've got the gift the three things that you
have in common which aren't material.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
What would be another good one?
Speaker 2 (05:51):
You have the superpower one as well.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Superpower Yes, that's a great one. Uh huh oh.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I like this one too. What was your most embarrassing
moment that you can laugh about now?
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Because I think I can I'm not going to tell
my husband that I think of another one. That's a
good one, very good one.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, because that could be something that you know, if
it happened last week, then you know, maybe a bit
too close to home, but twenty years ago, that could
be a good one because you can laugh about it.
What else, if you had three wishes, what would they be?
That's a nice one and some.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
One because then you really find out kind of where
their heart is, what's important to them that you might
not have known before.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah, that's a good one. Three wishes, Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
And also, like these ones are not necessarily very deep,
so I'm happy to talk about on another day. We
can talk about the deeper questions because they're more meaningful,
you know, but these ones are just kind of fun thing.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Fine, you know, we're we're wrapping up this summer because
it's back to school soon, so you can take a
quick road trip and these would be some fun questions
to talk with your spouse about and to just be friends.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Yeah. I love that, And I can I can send
these to you and you can put them under the
you know, the podcast.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
That's a great idea, great idea.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Fona, you are the courageous coach and your purpose is
too You're not You're not a therapist, so to say,
you are helping people be the best versions of themselves married, single,
And how would you describe what you do for people?
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I well, I do do. I do kind of have
almost like one foot in in therapy, in that I
have studied. I'm a trauma informed coach, and I've studied
embodied processing and NLP, which are therapeutic techniques, and in fact,
in Australia, I would be allowed to call myself a therapist.
But I find that, you know, the two things that
(07:55):
really interest me the most are trauma and relationships, and
they're very, very closely linked because we bring up drummer
into our relationships. And when I say relationships, I don't
just mean romantic romantic relationships. You know, I also help
with work relationships, and you know, just to give an
example of something that's very work related, a client of
(08:18):
mine was reading a book that I gave him to
read and he received an email from a customer who
was not satisfied, you know, a little bit of a
maybe possibly rude email, and he really wanted to answer
back sort of in the same vein you know, and
be defensive and everything like that, and then he just
(08:39):
kind of said, Okay, I'm just going to take a
break and I'm going to come back to it later.
And he came back to it later and wrote a
nice email to the guy. Now, the guy then came
back to him and spent twenty thousand with him, and
then later he contacted him again and he spent another
forty thousand, So he got sixty thousand out of the fact,
(09:00):
you know, out of the fact that he stopped himself
reacting and he was actually nice to the guy and
you know, wrote a nice email and everything. So so
this is you know, this is very practical in many ways,
you know, how we treat people.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Yeah, that's beautiful. And we can get in touch with
Fiona Is. You know, she can help you through all
kinds of situations, whether it's personal, business, parents, and kids.
And you use a lot of visuals, a lot of
really calming techniques that you've learned over the years with
your job and it's been extremely helpful to me.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
So I encourage people.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
We will post all of your information how people can
get in touch with you, and we'll just talk to
you next with maybe some deeper friendship questions next time.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
I would that be okay?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Absolutely, definitely perfect.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Now I've got some ideas that Bob and I are
going to talk about on our trip to Oklahoma.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Good. We'll have a wonderful trip, thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
We will, and we'll talk to you again soon.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Okay, all right, thanks all day, Bye bye Fiona by Yeah.
Well, we have got our courageous coach here back with us. Fiona,
the birthday girl, just had a birthday yesterday, so happy birthday,
feeling all refreshed, and Fiona, I just got back from vacation.
Then I had my thirteenth grand baby, and now I've
got to go to Oklahoma so I can hold little
baby Phoebe. It's a seven hour trip. And I think
your topic today is it's like a god thing, it's perfect. Yes, Well,
(00:27):
but you want to talk about questions that we can
ask our partner just to kind of get to know
each other a little better, right.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Yes, exactly. Well, first of all, congratulations on the thirteenth
grand baby, Dice. Thank you. I'm just a little bit
jealous because I haven't got any yet.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I'll come and once they start coming, it's like it
never ends. It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yes, So I have these conversation starters for friendship in
your relationship, and the first thing to say about it is,
this is not a questionnaire. This is not like either
you answer with one sentence their conversation starters. So the
first question is what was your favorite gift as a
(01:07):
child and why So so someone might say, oh, I
don't know my my space hopper. You know there's there's
do you remember those bright orange balls with the things
that you hold on to and you jump around the
garden with it? Uh, so, like why why? Why? Because
my parents gave it to me and I was five
(01:28):
and it just seemed like the coolest thing on earth
and I don't know whatever, But let it be a
conversation and then and then they can you know, you
can ask it back of your partner and and they
can talk about their thing and just say like, oh yeah,
I remember that too, And you know, so you've got something,
you're building something in common.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yes, these are friendship conversation starters. And I like that
you said that, because with our spouse, we really need
to be friends.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Yes, exactly like that. I've actually got you don't know this,
but I've actually got another set of questions which are
for deepening the relationship. So they're more sort of serious questions,
you know, deeper level. But these ones are just fun
questions to just I mean, you could use them on
at first date, but you could equally use them just
(02:16):
with somebody you've been married to for forty years, because
they're just getting back into the conversation. Of just kind
of what we in England we called banter, you rapport
kind of.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Thing instead of nagging, bantering.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Sort of all the logistic things. You know, what time
do the kids need picking up? Did you remember to
feed the cats? You know, I whish are also important,
but they're not building friendship, you know, they're just getting
stuff done.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
So I love the gift one. That's a great one.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yes, My favorite question actually is there's one which is
name three things we have in common, and in brackets
I've put not material things because you could so easily say, well,
house are good, so our cars, you know or whatever
our car, and no three things we haven't common, like
we both love going to the theater or the cinema,
(03:10):
or you know, we both love traveling and I love
or we like reading books aloud together.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Or you know, how about having since the radio station
our favorite song. Bob and I do have a lot
of similarities in the music that we listen to.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Yeah, but that's that's that's great because music is so
kind of impactful, you know, so it resonates with our
with our emotions, you know, like you can't sing a
love song to somebody you don't love.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Right, right, right, I'll never forget, Bob said.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
He said his favorite song is Enrique Iglesias let Me
be your Hero. That is so kind, I mean, because
that's what that's what he thought about when he hears
that song unsunny, that's neat. I'll never forget that that thought.
That's a good one.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
I like that one.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
What's your favorite song, Danna.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I'm Steve winwood Hire love.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
But there is also another song that's become this song
of the Summer by Ella Langley. It's choosing Texas. It's
a fun kind of boot scootin song. I love to dance.
Bob doesn't, but maybe you never know, never say never.
Maybe he would do that song. It's really fun.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Maybe he can watch she dance exactly he does he does.
That's a great idea.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah, and then another song. Sorry. Another question that I
love is what superpower would you like to have? And
how would you use it? That's always a fun one.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Perfect timing because I took Bob on a date day
yesterday to see Spider Man.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Oh great, yes, yes, another trip on your trip to Oklahoma.
You've got you said, you've got seven hours. Yes, So
what I would recommend rather than just kind of going
through this like a questionnaire and just whizzing through it is.
Ask one question, get into conversation about it, leave it
for a while, and you know, then come back, you know,
(04:59):
and hour or two later, ask another question and you know,
get into that conversation. Leave it through. Well, make sure
that both of you, you know, get a chance to
speak and so you can ask the same question back
to him that he's asked you or whatever. You know?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Do you post this this list of friendship questions? Could
people find these from you? I mean, these are great topics,
but they're just just if there's more, just some some
friendship starters.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
I could post them. I've not posted them yet because
I usually just give them to people that i'm working with.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Gotcha, Okay, yeah, but that's.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
A good idea. Yes, I could post them and then
people could people could get access to them.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
So we've got the gift the three things that you
have in common which aren't material.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
What would be another good one?
Speaker 2 (05:51):
You have the superpower one as well.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Superpower Yes, that's a great one. Uh huh oh.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I like this one too. What was your most embarrassing
moment that you can laugh about now?
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Because I think I can I'm not going to tell
my husband that I think of another one. That's a
good one, very good one.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, because that could be something that you know, if
it happened last week, then you know, maybe a bit
too close to home, but twenty years ago, that could
be a good one because you can laugh about it.
What else, if you had three wishes, what would they be?
That's a nice one and some.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
One because then you really find out kind of where
their heart is, what's important to them that you might
not have known before.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Yeah, that's a good one. Three wishes, Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
And also, like these ones are not necessarily very deep,
so I'm happy to talk about on another day. We
can talk about the deeper questions because they're more meaningful,
you know, but these ones are just kind of fun thing.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Fine, you know, we're we're wrapping up this summer because
it's back to school soon, so you can take a
quick road trip and these would be some fun questions
to talk with your spouse about and to just be friends.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Yeah. I love that, And I can I can send
these to you and you can put them under the
you know, the podcast.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
That's a great idea, great idea.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Fona, you are the courageous coach and your purpose is
too You're not You're not a therapist, so to say,
you are helping people be the best versions of themselves married, single,
And how would you describe what you do for people?
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I well, I do do. I do kind of have
almost like one foot in in therapy, in that I
have studied. I'm a trauma informed coach, and I've studied
embodied processing and NLP, which are therapeutic techniques, and in fact,
in Australia, I would be allowed to call myself a therapist.
But I find that, you know, the two things that
(07:55):
really interest me the most are trauma and relationships, and
they're very, very closely linked because we bring up drummer
into our relationships. And when I say relationships, I don't
just mean romantic romantic relationships. You know, I also help
with work relationships, and you know, just to give an
example of something that's very work related, a client of
(08:18):
mine was reading a book that I gave him to
read and he received an email from a customer who
was not satisfied, you know, a little bit of a
maybe possibly rude email, and he really wanted to answer
back sort of in the same vein you know, and
be defensive and everything like that, and then he just
(08:39):
kind of said, Okay, I'm just going to take a
break and I'm going to come back to it later.
And he came back to it later and wrote a
nice email to the guy. Now, the guy then came
back to him and spent twenty thousand with him, and
then later he contacted him again and he spent another
forty thousand, So he got sixty thousand out of the fact,
(09:00):
you know, out of the fact that he stopped himself
reacting and he was actually nice to the guy and
you know, wrote a nice email and everything. So so
this is you know, this is very practical in many ways,
you know, how we treat people.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Yeah, that's beautiful. And we can get in touch with
Fiona Is. You know, she can help you through all
kinds of situations, whether it's personal, business, parents, and kids.
And you use a lot of visuals, a lot of
really calming techniques that you've learned over the years with
your job and it's been extremely helpful to me.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
So I encourage people.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
We will post all of your information how people can
get in touch with you, and we'll just talk to
you next with maybe some deeper friendship questions next time.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
I would that be okay?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Absolutely, definitely perfect.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Now I've got some ideas that Bob and I are
going to talk about on our trip to Oklahoma.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Good. We'll have a wonderful trip, thank you.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
We will, and we'll talk to you again soon.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Okay, all right, thanks all day, Bye bye Fiona by Yeah.
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