Clarifying Cow's Ass

We talk cuddling with pets, getting stitches, and heartbreak.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Do you ever get excited that you're well, I know
that you two are like maybe a different situation than me,
But as you're listening to the podcast, by the way,
welcome to the Minnesota Goodbye. Do you ever get excited
when your partner is going to be gone for the night.
Susan's gone for the night. She's going out with like
the girls for a birthday party or something. And I'm like,
I get to do door dash and I get to
watch a World War two documentary, and I'm just excited

(00:25):
to have a night alone at the house.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
So and me and Burn. He's my body, You.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
And your baby. You guys can cut on the couch.
Do you know what's funny?

Speaker 2 (00:34):
He's not a cuddler?

Speaker 3 (00:35):
What the hell?

Speaker 2 (00:36):
It is the weirdest.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Things sad he's not he's not a cuddler. He he
hops up on the couch. Then he is an L
shaped couch, so he'll walk up on the other branch
of the couch, hop up on it, walk over toward me.
And he's a little timid, so he'll step slowly toward me,
but he'll hang his face about six inches from my face,

(00:57):
and I just scratch and scratch and he is just
an doggy heaven. But he will not lay down and
put his hat on my lap. It is just the
weirdest thing. And I've tried to kind of like force
him down, like gently, kind of push him down, and
he'll lay down for about a minute. Then he gets
nervous and he runs away.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Maybe he's not.

Speaker 4 (01:14):
A cuddler because he had like other owners before you, right,
so maybe he used to not be able to be
on the couch.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
He helped himself to the couch pretty quick.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
He's he's got three spots. He's got his bed, he's
got the living room floor, which he is just fine with,
and then he's got his spot on the couch, which
is the other opposite end of the couch, and he'll
lay there and put his head on the pillow and
it's so cute. But he's not a cuddler, and Josie
wasn't really a cuddler either. I'd like a dog that

(01:43):
would like lay down next to me and like, you know,
want to feel warm and put their.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
Head on my leg.

Speaker 4 (01:47):
That's my favorite thing, is the like the weight of
the animal and then just feeling warm right where they're sitting.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
I love the best.

Speaker 5 (01:55):
The old dog that I had had was Mickey, and
Mickey was her old age. All she did was lay
on the couch and cuddle, so it was the best thing.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
Ever.

Speaker 5 (02:05):
So when I started watching dogs and like they didn't
even want to come on the coach, I was like,
what kind of weird dog are you?

Speaker 4 (02:11):
Like?

Speaker 3 (02:11):
Why would you not want to be on the coach?
It's way comfier than the floor. Yeah, you're doing.

Speaker 5 (02:16):
But like some owners obviously don't let their animals on couches,
Like there are two dogs I watch that at their home.
The dogs aren't allowed on furniture, but they were like,
if you let them on furniture, you can. And now
I feel like I'm teaching them bad habits because I'm
always like, get all the furniture here.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
They're like the best cuddlers ever come.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
It's no.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
One thing that we were very careful with with Bernie
is not give him people food so he won't beg
Because I about halfway through Josie's life as my other dog,
she lived to be sixteen. I taught her how to
beg by giving her people food about halfway through her life.
Whenever we would eat, she would sit there and beg
and wag her tail and sometimes whimper a little, and

(02:53):
then afterwards she'd always get to lick the plate. So
if you have like a plate of spaghetti or meat low,
she would get to lick the plate. And Bernie doesn't
even notice when we eat. And I really prefer that,
because it was kind of annoying to watch Josie sit
there awaiting a little morsel of chicken.

Speaker 5 (03:08):
Do that.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
Daddy eats. Josie eats.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
I did because she was my buddy, and I always
you remember that, and that's so true. I always thought,
if I'm eating, she gets to eat too. So I regret.
I don't regret that, I guess, but I'm really happy
that Bernie doesn't beat. All right, speaking of food, Jannita's
clarifying cows ass. Now, remember yesterday she's talking about how
she doesn't like chitlins, and chitlins are gross because it's

(03:32):
pig intestines, and then she talked about how well they'll
eat cows ass. She says just wrote in she says,
I'm clarifying, Dave. When I said cow's ass, I meant
rump roast. My family calls it cows ass because they
are fucking hood rats. She says, hellol Like I say,
they try to compare eating chitlins to rump roast cows ass,
but there's no comparison. Aunt Bella and Uncle Theodore are

(03:54):
just fucking disgusting. We love you, Wannita. Secretary Brie writes
in and she says, first of all, Boo Bash was
so much fun. I hope you didn't mind me toting
around like your photography assistant while I waited for my
bestie to arrive. No, not at all. A few people
asked and figured out who I was and wanted a
photo with me. That felt awkward af but so fun

(04:17):
at the same time, Like what people know? Whose secretary
Brie is? Even Janita? Yeay, we finally met. She said
she knew me because of my height, because Brie is
like six foot two, yeah tall. Second, I had the
day from hell on Sunday and feel like you guys
need to hear about it. I did not need the
extra hour. Youngest kids started barely midnight after midnight barfing.

(04:38):
Then at hockey, older kid ended up in the er
with four stitches in his chin. But I'm not done yet,
because the younger child continued to crumble and ended up
in urgent care testing positive for strap throat. It was
my least favorite day ever, but can always get worse.
So this prompts the question, Dave, which of your kids,
if any, were the first to get stitches slash hurt?

(04:59):
And why? And did you assume it would happen? What
I mean is I would have bet all my money
that my little ash ash I think his name is Ashton,
she calls him Ashole. Yeah, And I hope I got
Ashton right, but I'm not sure I thought he would
be my first kid to get stitches.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
I was wrong.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
It was my careful older one via complete accident. Jenny
Bailey not leaving you out, How did you or your
sisters get injured as a child? Who was the first
sibling with stitches? I'll just go ahead and answer really quickly.
Carson loved Legos and one day I was down in
the basement on the phone talking to Brentley. Carson's upstairs.
He's about nine years old, and he tries to open

(05:36):
Legos with scissors. Now, if you imagine just you're like
holding the box of Legos in your left hand and
you're slicing with your right hand. He sliced right where
between your watch band and the joint of your thumb,
right around there, spliced it really deep, and he's like God,
and I'm like, Brentley, I gotta go. Ran upstairs, looked
at it. I'm like, oh, that's serious. I wrap a

(05:58):
towel around it, and then I thought for a second,
maybe it's not that bad. Maybe, And then I looked
again and it was deep, and I said, yeah, you're
luckily he didn't hit any veins or arteries.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
And I said, you're going to get stitches.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
He got like stitches inside and outside. And that's the
only kid that I know that's ever gotten stitches. Yeah,
I mean only kid of mine. Yeah, that's ever gotten stitches.

Speaker 4 (06:20):
I've never gotten stitches ever. And I never broke any bones,
neither my sister. We were really soft kids that spent
a lot of time inside or like jump roping outside.
We didn't do anything hard sports. I did trip and
fall in kindergarten on like a wet floor and cut
like right above my eye open on a table and

(06:41):
I went to the er to get stitches and then
they were like, nah, you're good, but I still have
the scar from it.

Speaker 3 (06:46):
So you could see it if you're up close to.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
I see a little bit. Yeah, a little bit, okay.

Speaker 4 (06:50):
But that's the only stitches situation, and I didn't get them.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
I was the child who hurt myself.

Speaker 5 (06:56):
I was the kid who stereotypically jumped on the bed
and fell off and hit her head. Literally, I cracked
my head open and had to go get I got staples,
not stitches in my head. And then I also was
into skateboarding for a little bit, hit a bump one time,
flipped off, landed on my shoulder. I didn't break anything,
but I had to be in a sling for like
six weeks. Who it was cute because my grandma also

(07:18):
had a sling at the time, so we would like
have us slings together or whatever.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
So I did that.

Speaker 5 (07:23):
And then I mean, in my older age, I did
break many bones in my wrist area when I snowboarded,
and now I have a metal plate in that wrist.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
So yeah, I wouldn't say an accident.

Speaker 5 (07:33):
Prone, but I do a little more adventurous things than
I probably should, and I should have taken a step back.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
You live your life on the edge.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
Yeah, all right, next one, Hello, favorite morning crew. I've
got a sad story to share. Bear with me, it's
a little bit long. My youngest brother. My youngest brother
recently had his first breakup. He's sixteen. It was his
first ever relationship, and even though they only dated for
a few weeks, boy did this crush him. He's a

(08:04):
quiet kid, doesn't share his feelings much or even talk
a whole lot, at least to me. But with this girl,
he was just smitten. I thought it was so sweet.
He even went out and bought a whole new outfit
to wear on their first date. He told her mom,
I'm not going to he told our mom, I'm not
going to do anything to mess this up. Fast forward
a few weeks after that first date. I'm cutting his hair.

(08:24):
He says to me that he thinks he got friend zoned.
At first, I couldn't tell how he really felt about it,
and I said before, he's a quiet kid, doesn't share much.
I went to look at the sides of his haircut
to see if they were even, and I saw the
tears building up in his eyes. He stood up to
go check the haircut and he said, hey, come here.

Speaker 4 (08:42):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
I said, hey, come here, and I hugged him and
he just lost it. He literally wept in my arms,
and oh did it just crush my older sister heart.
I remember the feeling, especially the very first time it happens,
and breakups really never get easier. But boy, did it
just take me right back. But it was hard and
a different way because this time I'm watching my sweet
little brother go through what to him is a very

(09:05):
foreign pain. Of course, I told him he's going to
be okay, and I'm always here for him anyway. He's
doing betters now his weeks have gone by, But that
part of life that's just tough, no matter what age
you are. That's my sweet, sad story. Love you guys, Sammy.
I teared up a little bit reading that. I remember
Alison broke up with a boyfriend around that age and

(09:26):
she was just devastated. And then I have a good
friend mel and she's got a daughter who's sixteen or seventeen,
and she got broke broken up with and she was
also devastated. The interesting thing about breakups at that age
is they usually you recover pretty quickly because you probably
haven't gone out that long and you're still so young,
and it's not like, no, I'm never going to find

(09:48):
anybody again. You know, you break up, you know, my god,
if you break up at like my age, it's really
it's got to be very tough, you know. Or you
break up in you're thirty four, you've been married for
a while, it's got to be very tough.

Speaker 4 (10:00):
When you're sixteen, that's like your whole life, and that's
I think that's very unique to like teenagers. So obviously
it's going to feel like his whole world is like
crumbled because he doesn't he hasn't like built a world outside.

Speaker 3 (10:14):
Of high school.

Speaker 4 (10:15):
This relationship and like extracurricular activities is family or whatever.
So I totally get that he's really sad. And it's
hard to like explain to them, like, hey, this isn't
the end of the world, like five years from now,
this will feel like nothing.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
But it's hard to like, you know, give that advice.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
It is so true.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
It's like you'll get over it, because that sounds like
you're diminishing how they feel. Yeah, but it's so true,
you'll get it over it, over it so fast.

Speaker 4 (10:39):
I just let them let them feel their feelings as
much as they want to.

Speaker 5 (10:43):
I never got heartbroken in high school. Really, I was
probably the heartbreaker. But yeah, in older age, it still
fucking sucks.

Speaker 3 (10:49):
So you're old age. I don't wish it upon anyone.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
No, it is really hard, and I've heard it's harder
on men than it is on women. And I think
it's because women usually have a larger social circle and
people they can talk to and go out and be
you know, distracted for lack of a better word, and
a lot of the men they really don't and they
don't have a guy. They have a guy that they
play pool with and drink with. But you're not going
to be like Carl, I got to tell you how

(11:15):
bad it hurts.

Speaker 3 (11:16):
But they should. They should do that.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
Yeah, they should, but sometimes they don't. And I think
that was all. Oh, just a quick, cute little story.
You talked about your brother going out to buy a
new outfit for their first date. I remember one of
the sweetest things that I saw with Alison. She had
a little boyfriend. I think his name was Alan, I think,
and Alan really liked her. So Alan, at sixteen or so,

(11:39):
went out to buy Alison a present, and he bought
her a little clock, and it was the kind of
clock that you would get at things remembered where it
was kind of like decorative and you know, functional, but
more decorative, not practical. And I thought, man, that's so
fucking cute and sweet that this kid went out and
you walked around the mall until he found something that

(12:00):
he thought. And it almost brings a tear to my
eye because I think of that little kid's sixteen year
old heart looking for something that he thought Allison would
really like.

Speaker 3 (12:08):
Mm hmm, that's sweet. Yeah, oh I like that.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
Yeah, let's see here. I want to make sure that
I don't read the same one. Hold on one second.
Here we go, Hello, fam, and then he's in a
winkie face in a vomit emoji because we don't like
the word fam. I hope you're recovering from Boo bash. Well,
you all looked fabulous, especially you, Dave vob vov Boom

(12:32):
says Anna. Very day, you guys talk about TV shows,
but I don't watch TV, but I do love to read.
I'm always reading one book and listening to another. This year,
I've read twenty books and listen to thirty seven others.
So in case there's other weirdos out there who don't
watch TV, here are a few recommendations.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
Oh this is different. I like this a lot.

Speaker 3 (12:50):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
West with Giraffes, a historical fiction book about a nineteen
thirty squest to bring two giraffes from Washington, d C.
To San Diego. Truly fabulous the anxious generation. If you're
a parent with kids still at home, this is a
must read about what cell phones and social media are
doing to the young developing brain. Not an easy book,

(13:12):
but incredibly important for us parents to read the studies
about how damaging these tools are for the kids. I
saw a video last night by professor Garrison or Galt
something like that. He's a well known professor and writer
and author and whatever, and he's kind of impressive, and
he was talking about especially younger men, because their prefrontal
cortexes have not been fully developed, so they don't understand

(13:35):
that they are being sucked into a world of false
friendships where your and I don't know what young men
are doing on but like porn he said was one
was like, they don't need to have sex anymore, or
they don't pursue sex or pursue women because they've got
unlimited free life like porn. And I don't know why

(13:57):
he said, lifelike and it means AI porn or what ai.
But a lot of like you know, twenty year old men,
they don't go out and put themselves out there because
they've got free porn sex on their phone. And they
don't develop relationships because they have a relationship with their phone.
What their phone, I guess, and I don't know what

(14:19):
besides what else they're looking at.

Speaker 5 (14:21):
It's like online chatter in general, whether they're on like discord.

Speaker 3 (14:25):
Or something else, they're just not exactly what he said.

Speaker 5 (14:27):
Yes, I follow a lot of it's well, I know,
as profgy. That's what someone I know who listens to
him a lot calls them. But he is very.

Speaker 2 (14:36):
Ig you know what I'm talking about, right, Scott.

Speaker 3 (14:39):
Galloway is a full name.

Speaker 5 (14:41):
He I think he's really in the news right now
because I think he has a book coming out or something.
But it is all about like the male loneliness epidemic,
and it's I shouldn't say it's all about that, but
he does such a good job explaining things and the
differences between men and women and why men act the
way that they act and stuff, and it's not it's

(15:01):
not all like pro men are lonely because women are bad.
It's very much like a good explanation as to why
men are becoming more lonely.

Speaker 4 (15:11):
I just googled him and I did send you a
video literally of this guy and someone reacting to him
this morning.

Speaker 3 (15:17):
Jenny, Oh, did you yeah? On Instagram?

Speaker 2 (15:19):
How are they reacting? Do they not like him?

Speaker 4 (15:21):
Well, no, it's not that they don't like him. They
just had like additional things to say on top of
what he was talking about. But he was talking about
like men being lonely and that they're like creating their
own epidemic.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
Of course, my mind goes to Carson and that, you know,
because Carson does spend a lot of time on his phone.
I mean when we hiked up Pike's Peak, I was
going slowly enough that he got kind of bored and
he would pull out his phone and scroll while we're
hiking to fourteen thousand feet and a lot of the
time I'll be like, Okay, Carson, I'm going to show

(15:54):
you how to do something like I need to show
you how to put a wall anchor in the wall.
And he'll have his phone in his hand and I'm like,
will you put your phone down, and he'll kind of
lean back like kind of like maybe I'm about to
put it in my pocket, but he won't put it
in his pocket. I'm like, put your fucking phone down
and say that. Put your phone down, give me a
just a circond. So, but the good news with Carson,
he's got friends. He just had a couple of friends

(16:17):
visit from here to go out to la and he
showed him around. And he lives with three other guys
and they go do things. He doesn't have a girlfriend,
which I think he would like a girlfriend, but he
just you know, doesn't want to put himself out there.
So for whatever reason. Final book, it's called The Wedding People,
the funniasy book about a woman learning to stand up

(16:38):
for herself in a hilarious storyline. Just a really fun read.
If you need a laugh, have a wonderful day. Put
down the remote, pick up a book. You know what
book I bought the other day, so a book fair
and I bought Agatha Christie Murder on the Orient Express.
And it's a legendary book. Everybody's heard of it. I
haven't started to read it yet, but it looks I mean,
come on, it's Agatha Christie and the only book that

(17:00):
I know that she's written, so I'm looking forward to
reading that one. And then our friend that listens to
the show Tony got me the Lionel Richie truly booked
his biography and that I've got about through two or
three chapters in.

Speaker 4 (17:12):
I really like reading, but now the only way I
can read is by listening to an audio book.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
That's what you said.

Speaker 4 (17:18):
Yeah, And I consider it reading still because I'm still
like digesting the literature that was written just with my ears,
and I am constantly reading an audiobook and I've I
think I'm almost like fifty books this year, and there's
still a month or two months left of the year,
so we'll see how many I can finish. But I
just finished Stephen King The Missed, and that's the second

(17:42):
Stephen King book I've read this year.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
End how it ends, I.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
Already know how it ends.

Speaker 4 (17:46):
Reinished it, Okay, Yeah, it's ambiguous, to be honest.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
It is a little bit ambiguous.

Speaker 4 (17:51):
Yeah, but I've never read Stephen King until this year,
and I really like it.

Speaker 3 (17:55):
Actually, I don't care if that's basic.

Speaker 1 (17:57):
I think I read the Shining Stephen King is there's
one called ghost Ship, which is a compilation of his
short stories, and I picked out one because it's like,
you know, ghost Ship by Stephen King, featuring this story
like you're supposed to go, oh, that must be the
best one. Yeah, And I read it and you're like, eh,
it was okay.

Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (18:19):
I think he has probably stronger ones than others. But
oh no, the two that I've read, one was really
long and one was really short, and I thought they
were both very gripping tales because it was the Outsider
and the Mist is what I read, and they were
both really great.

Speaker 1 (18:31):
Okay, I love it. That's going to kind of wrap
it up for the Minnesota Goodbye. Thanks for all the emails.
Love the emails, Love the variety of emails. You want
to bring up something that's never been brought up, or
you want to revisit something, or maybe something happened to
you on the way home from work and you're going,
I've got to write in about that. The more random,
the better. Send it into Ryan Show at katiewb dot com,

(18:52):
And thank you for listening to the Minnesota Goodbye.