Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What lessons have you learned in life? So I was
on Facebook last night in Kendall Mark, who's kind of
a I wouldn't say friend, but were I'm friendly.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
She's an acquaintance you are as well, right.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
And does she was used to be on the Jason
Show and I think she does radio here in town.
So I asked last night, I said on my I
was inspired by her. I said, what is something that
you have learned a big lesson in life? And I
got a bunch of these. For example, Uh, my grandma said,
if you're trying to side between two men, always take
(00:31):
the second one because you found him after the first one. Okay,
I kind of like that one.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Oh, I like that.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah, take the second one because you found him after
the first one.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
The first one didn't enough, right, So.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Why is there a second one? Okay? Another one? Kevin says,
realize what you have. The grass is not always greener
on the other side. I think that's true. Becky Alexander says,
as my mentor Dave said, once, it really struck with
and it stuck with me. It's better to have it
and not need it than to need it and not
have it. Truly words to live by save me more
(01:05):
than once, because it turned from I might need this
into I'm glad I brought this. Okay, another one. Don't
ever half ass anything, always use your full ass. Okay,
I like that one. I love this one. If your
parents don't like the guy, believe them. So Mam Miranda
doesn't like the guy, then believe Mam Miranda.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
He's usually a thrill if I meet anybody. So okay,
I don't believe If she ever.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Says, don't ever think it can happen to you, it
can pay attention to people. They are showing you who
they truly are, and I think that is so true.
So thanks for those. Go check those out on Facebook. Dave,
Ryan katiewb. You ready for emails? Yep, don't say my name? Okay.
(01:53):
How do I tell a friend that I think her
therapist is not a good fit for her. She's fifty
five and dating. Her last relationship was twelve on and
off years with a man that was a true narcissist
and broke her down, and she has no self esteem.
She is dating a man now for the last six
months and he seems great. They have a lot of
fun until she started asking him about his past. He
(02:14):
told her the truth about his past relationships, and she
thinks all these women are still in his life, three
different women in the past sixteen years. Her therapist told
her that she needs to go through his phone, which
she did multiple times and found nothing, but she still
doesn't trust him. She went back to the same therapist
(02:34):
and she said break up with him because you're never
going to be happy. She says she doesn't want to
break up with him because she'll miss him. I think
what she is doing to him is unfair and bringing
her old relationship into the new one. Any thoughts on
this One's kind of an interesting email.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Well, I think it's very strange that the therapist is
giving her that advice. Personally, I think a therapist would
probably say, hey, if you don't trust someone, maybe that's
not your person. But I also know that people get
traumatized from previous relationships, so I get that. But to
tell someone to deliberately go through their phone instead of
communicating yeah and hoping that you can like build that trust,
I don't think that that's fucking healthy at all. Like,
(03:10):
that's crazy to me.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
I think it's tough. I think that people get to
be about you know, a certain age, whether it's forty
five or fifty five or sixty two or whatever it is,
where they go, I better start finding the one to
settle with, you know what I mean. So they'll look
past maybe a lot of bad traits, yeah, red flags,
because like if Mama Randa, let's say Mam Miranda was
going to date, Oh, I don't know some guy who
(03:34):
was a pirate, he was a pirate, Okay, she would
probably look past the fact that he was a pirate, Yeah,
because you know, she's no spring chicken anymore, and she
probably wants somebody to settle down with and buy a Winnebago.
M So she might look past the patch and the
peg leg and the parrot on his shoulder, yeah, and
be like he's fine, He'll he'll do right.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Yeah. I do think it's weird though, that the in general,
the therapist is recommending to do something that goes beyond communication,
because isn't that what a therapist is all about. It's like,
here's how to talk about an issue that you have. Hey,
I heard your man is a pirate and you have
some issues with that. Go through his phone.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
What.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
No, They're like encouraging, encouraging you to be just to
do something bad, like why that's dumb.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
The therapist would like heal you from your past trauma
and then help you not. I don't know. That's very
strange to me.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Uh, Catherine writes in and she said something like when
Dave was rattling off the names of his ex girlfriends
on the show yesterday, it reminded me of in the
movie Ted, where Mark Wahlberg is talking to the bear
and he's trying to guess the name of the trashy girl.
And so we thought, okay, well let's play that clip.
Thank you, kat, here we go.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Manny Nope, Marilyn Nope, Brittany no, Tiffany, no, Candae, No,
don't fuck with me on this. I know this shit.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Do you see me fucking with you?
Speaker 3 (04:57):
All right?
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Speed, I'm gonna rattle off some names when I hit
it and buzz it.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Okay, you got me, all right.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
Brandy had the chanting Brianna and Sabrina Melody the coda,
seer a Baby, Crystal Sman at the Autumn Ruby Tail, Atara, Tammy, Laura,
Shelley and shed Tel, Courtney, Missy, Jenny, Christa, Mindy, Noel Shelby, Trina, Rebea, Cassandra, Nikki, Kelsey, Shawna,
Jolian Early in Clauding and Savannah, Casey, Dolly, Kenja, Collie, Chloe,
devin'mau fucking Betty Wait? Was it any one of those
names with a Lynn after it?
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Yes? Yeah, got you?
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Motherfuck? I got you? Okay, Brandy Lynn, Hevelyn Chammu Lynn Fuck.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I didn't remember my name being.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
In there, Jenny Lynn. All right, next email, it's pull
it up here we go. I want to ask if
anybody on the show or anybody else listening to the
Minnesota Goodbye has advice they want to write in about
going out to eat by yourself. I'm going on a
solo mini vacation on a few in a few days,
and I never really go out to eat at restaurants
(05:51):
by myself unless it's like fast food. I'm trying to
decide if I should just get takeout and go back
to eat my hotel room. So I'm not self conscious,
even though I know people could care less and probably
aren't really paying attention to me. I'm thirty six, very
introverted and shy, and I feel like I'm still very
insecure about eating out by myself at a nicer restaurant,
or even go into a concert or play by myself.
(06:13):
I'm fine going to a movie by myself or going
to hang out at a coffee shop because it will
seem like more solo activity. Says you're not talking to
somebody during a movie, and a lot of people hang
out working or studying coffee shops by themselves. Do you
just sit at the bar so it's less weird? But
then I don't necessarily want to have to make small
talk with the bartender people sitting by me. What do
(06:34):
people do if they eat by themselves? They just kind
of people watch, or do they try to make small
talk with other people that are maybe by themselves. I
was thinking about maybe bringing my kindle and reading my
book because I figure that's less rude or intrusive than
watching something on my phone with headphones. But it would
make me feel less awkward than just sitting there looking
around waiting for my food, like I'm lonely or want
somebody to talk to me. But if I did that
(06:56):
at a nicer restaurant like Pittsburgh Blue, let's say, is
that weird? Also? I don't really drink, so that is
that weird to sit at the bar if I'm just
going to get a poper elimonade and a meal and
not order alcohol, which is kind of what I associate
the bar with. Any advice or opinions or tips you
guys have would be greatly appreciated. I'm not looking to
meet and talk to people. I feel like Dave has
(07:17):
maybe gone to small town bars before and we'll strike
up conversations with the locals, but I don't want to
do that. Also for Bailey and Jenny, if you guys
have ever done this, have you had guys hit on
you or try to pick you up, because I'm not
looking for that either. I just want to enjoy some
time by myself. Jenny opinion number one.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Truthfully, I don't know that I've ever gone to a
sit down restaurant and ate by myself because I'm not
a restaurant person. So like if I'm traveling by myself,
which I do do in my van, I'm usually like
eating out of my van honestly, like with my cooler stuff. Bailey,
I think, has way more experience with this than I do.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I do stuff by myself almost exclusively, so I go
to restaurants by myself all the time, by myself or alone.
I usually do sit at the bar only because I
think it's easier and it doesn't feel like you're sitting
at like a two person table alone. It feels like
you're sitting at the bar, and you don't have to
worry about like the bartender making a lot of small
talk with you. They usually talk to you to get
(08:16):
your order. They might say like one other thing to you.
I never get talked to by other people sitting at
the bar, unless they like comment on my shoes or
something like that. Nothing is like, so where are you from.
I never get hit on when I'm sitting at the bar,
but that might just be a me thing. I think
it depends. I don't know, if you're like super hot,
maybe you'll get hit on at the bar. But I
do stuff all the time by myself, Like concerts I've
(08:38):
gone to alone. Plays I go to almost exclusively alone.
I always think those are, honestly sometimes easier to go alone.
You don't have to coordinate someone else's schedule. You always
get a good seat because there's always the one seat
that's just alone sitting really close to the stage or something,
and someone needs to sit there, so it might as
well be you. So I think in like events, you
(09:01):
always get a better spot because you're alone. You don't
have to worry about talking to anybody. I definitely like
your idea of bringing your kindle or a book to read.
I usually if I sit at a bar, I just
scroll on my phone. I don't watch things. I do
think it would be weird if you sat at the
bar wearing headphones.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Yeah, that's kind of weird a little bit. Yeah, But like.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Everybody's scrolling on their phone, so you could.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Even couples are scrolling on the exactly.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Even people who yeah, are there with others are scrolling
on their phone. Families are scrolling on their phones. But
you can totally do it. Like, I know, I'm more extroverted,
but like not to absolute strangers. I'm not gonna sit
down and just start chatting with a random person who's
sitting next to me.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Well, I think that's part of her fear is that
is not in your control. And if you are shy
and introverted, you're never going to say, you know what,
I'm really just here to enjoy my meal and some
peace and quiet.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
But they're rarely there to talk to a stranger anyway,
very very true, even if they're there alone.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
I would say being somewhat shy and introverted in a
situation like that. I've done it before. I have no
problem with it. When I worked in Colorado Springs, our
station was about two doors down from Red Lobster, and
they had a lunch special for like six ninety nine
or whatever back in the day. I would take the
radio newspaper from that week there was a radio newspaper,
(10:14):
and I would sit there and I would have my
six ninety nine shrimp special or whatever while I read
the newspaper in a booth by myself, and I remember
it felt kind of good. It was just relaxing. So
I worry about anyone else, I would say, the worry
is and we've all been to a restaurant where we
see somebody eating alone. I remember when I was a kid,
probably fifteen, we went to some fancy esque Japanese steakhouse
(10:38):
with my mom and dad and there was a guy
over at the table over here eating alone. Now, at
fifteen years old, I didn't understand that, Well, he could
be here on business or he could be, like, you know,
just passing through.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Got like two hours between two different things that he
has to do right.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
He just wanted and I felt bad for him, and
I can still picture him in my mind, sitting by
himself at a table for two over by the window,
and my little fifteen year old heart broke for this guy.
And looking back, I'm sure he was just happy to
have a meal and some peace and quiet. Yeah, And
once in a while I'll see somebody out at like
there was one we were at Lola's Lakeside Lodge. Yeah,
(11:13):
and there was a woman who was sitting down the
bar from us, and then she did the oh are
you Dave Ryan thing, and she was drunk, and she
started just like not harassing, but bothering us, and I
think I finally said, hey, you know what, it's great
to meet you, but I'm really just here to spend
time with my wife. And then she got kind of belligerent,
(11:35):
and the guy on the other side of me was
trying to save me by talking to me. So you
never know what will happen, But I say, roll the dice.
Whatever you do, don't take your food back to your room,
just don't. I mean, if that's what you're comfortable with,
then of course, do it. But I would say nobody's
gonna look at you funny. You don't have any performative thing.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
That you have to do, and you don't need to
drink even if you're sitting at.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
The bar eleimonade. That's fine.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Yeah, yeah, I think like if you're scared of doing
it alone, you'll never do anything. Because so just do
it alone always, Like if you want to do something,
if you want to go see a show or a concert,
or go to the eat this particular dish, and you
don't want to do it alone, just like challenge yourself
do it alone, or else maybe you'll never do it.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
I so agree with that.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Let us know what you decide to do. I'd be
really curious about that if you if you ever write
in and you have a follow up of like what
you decided to do, let us know, and good luck.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
You know.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
I'm glad you're taking this solo trip and just go
have fun. That's a very interesting question.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Jenny and I have gone on many.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Solo trips, yes, and it's I love traveling in the
van by myself. It's so fun.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I speaking of which, I go to Colorado by myself
nearly every time, and Susan doesn't mind because she knows.
That's my recharge. I want to be alone time and
I will go out to like I went to sushi
place maybe the last time I was there. Yeah, and
I sat at the bar and I didn't care. I
didn't even blink. It didn't even cross my mind, like,
(13:04):
oh God, I'm sad sitting here by myself. But I've
sat at fancy restaurants too, and usually the bartenders are
are friendly but not annoying.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah, never annoying. I mean I went to London alone.
Every single place I went, the most I would get
was like, hello, what can I get? Chew?
Speaker 1 (13:19):
And that's it.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Cheer cheer?
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Can I get to Mary Poppins?
Speaker 1 (13:23):
That's it for the Minnesota goodbye. Send your emails in
anything at all. Ryan's show at KDWB dot com