Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, kids, gather around, It's time for the Minnesota
Good Bike. Can I just tell you a little comment
about podcasts. I listened to one last night. I'm a
big Twilight Zone the show fan, so once in a
while I listen to a show called the Twilight Zone
Podcast and it's really good. And I'm not trying to
sell you on this podcast, but I was at Snap
last night. I downloaded and I get on the StairMaster
(00:23):
and for the first ten minutes, these two knuckleheads go
back and forth about their dog, their brand new Dodge Van,
their garden, their new telescope, all this shit. And I'm like,
does it annoy you when you listen to a podcast
that they spend the first ten minutes they're basically bored
with their subject matter, so they spend the time catching up.
(00:43):
Does anybody else run into this?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I have heard that in like a handful of true
crime podcasts, but like, I know, those people have built
their their like listenership so much that the listeners.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Do care about their lives.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
I get that, but when you're a drop in, then
it's like I just found ask for twenty minutes until
you get to.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
The actual true crime.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I did the same thing. I used to listen to
one called Take to the Sky. It was two women
talking about air disasters, and at first I was like, God,
they're so bad. They keep talking about their pet guinea
pig and their son Derek, and who gives a shit?
But then after probably a half year of listening, I
was like, Oh, well, how's Derek.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Yeah, I want to know about you.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You know, what's the lady of Derek?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
What's going on with him?
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Let's get right into the Minnesota Goodbye with an email
that remakes a request, and we don't get a lot
of requests necessarily on the Minnesota Goodbye, but let me
see if I can find this one. It comes from Tyler.
Tyler says, listen to the Wednesday show. You played Dave's
parody song I Will be Your Zero, and I was
hoping to hear the whole song as it is hilarious.
(01:44):
Can you play it on the Minnesota Goodbye? Normally no,
but I will go ahead and do it, and if
you don't like it, you can fast forward through it.
That's the luxury of the Minnesota Goodbye. Hit that thirty
second plus arow button and get right past it already. Yes, Okay,
I'm gonna turn the switch on and the and I
hope everything works when I push the right button. And
here is zero, which is a parody of hero.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Let me be your zero.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Would you cook if I asked you to cook? Would
you run to the liquor store? Would you mind if
I went to sex World or put the moves on
(02:40):
your mom? Would you freak out if I gave you
crab life and left a lot of pubes in your drain?
Or would you mind if I quit my job and
(03:02):
played game cubeble all day?
Speaker 5 (03:09):
I can be a zero baby. I can't sleep all
night and day. I own a big old stack of hurtlers.
I put a bass boat on layaway.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Would it bug you if we had a fight and
I blamed it all on your pms?
Speaker 6 (03:48):
Would you get mad if I shot your cat?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Please be quiet? Sports Center is on.
Speaker 6 (04:02):
I can be your zero.
Speaker 5 (04:05):
By I will never wash my pits.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
I will always miss.
Speaker 6 (04:17):
The toilet.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
And stare at your sister's chest.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
I will be your Zeroba. I will wipe my nose
on my sleeve. I will grow a great big belly.
I guess so bad you won't believe.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I can be your ze lord. Wow, I'll take you
love from your pass.
Speaker 7 (05:04):
And I.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
I will waste finish first.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Oh, I will always finish first. I will be yours.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
You can see why we don't play that song anymore.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
My favorite parts were all the little times you'd go.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Thank you.
Speaker 7 (05:37):
I like the end, yeah, the screaming, yeah no when
it was done. No, the screaming was pretty funny though.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Yeah right. I seriously haven't heard that song in probably
twenty years, the whole way through, and I had not
forgotten about it if somebody brought it up the other
day via text during the morning show. So we played
a little bit up to the part where it's like
I've got a great big stack of hustlers and I
can put a bass boat on layaway. That's only halfway
through the song. That song is way too long, way
too long.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
It is very long. And you roasted me today for
my Benny Hanna one.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
I liked your Benny Hannah one. It was just terrible lyrics.
The lyrics were terrible.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Well, I was on the down little wire.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Yeah, uh, Tyler, thank you for that. Appreciate that. Let's
get to one Nita rant y'all ready for one Nita's rant? Yes,
all right. Let me find the right button, and I
think we are just about ready to go. We gotta
push a couple of buttons here to make it happen,
and here comes one Nita Hi.
Speaker 8 (06:31):
So this week's rant is about the unnecessary shit that
we do for no fucking reason.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Let me explain.
Speaker 8 (06:37):
So you go to heat up a pizza, pizza, and
you only want to heat it up for a couple
of minutes. Instead of pushing two zero zero, why the
fuck do we stand there push thirty seconds four times?
The numbers on the microwave are there for a reason.
You're not there for decoration. It just hit two zero zero.
You go to get on the elevator, you push the
(06:57):
button and the button lights up. Do we stand there
and keep pushing the button as if that's gonna make
the elevator com any quicker? No, the elevator's gonna come
with a come. You stand up, pushing the fucking button's
not gonna make it come any quicker. But here's the
one that really and this is find my black folks,
because I know they all do this. You pick up
(07:17):
the control and you go to change the channel. All
of a sudden, the control doesn't work.
Speaker 6 (07:20):
Anymore.
Speaker 8 (07:21):
Why, because the batteries are dead. But instead of getting
your lazy ass something, go change the batteries.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
What do we do?
Speaker 8 (07:26):
Take the left side, put on the right side, Take
the right side, put on.
Speaker 7 (07:29):
The left side.
Speaker 8 (07:30):
The motherfucking batteries are still dead. It's not gonna make it.
It's not gonna make the control working. Now, just get
your hands up and go change the batteries and the control.
God damn that.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Oh you wanted to.
Speaker 7 (07:47):
I do that thing with the remote control. Absolutely intell that.
I've switched it too many times and finally it's like,
all right, it's dead.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
Dead are dead.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I don't do that.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
I also slash around the juice inside of the battery.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
It on your hand right, so when you.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Smack it a little bit and then you switch them
from one to the side to the other side, the
juice in there gets jostled.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Around so you can use it longer.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Logical, Yeah, exactly. Okay. Now there's quite a few emails
about Jenny's trip to Morocco, which came up only on
the podcast of Minnesota Goodbye Yesterday. So let me read
some emails starting with ANGELA were never written in before,
but when I heard Jenny talking about people criticizing her
choice to go to Morocco alone. I thought maybe my
(08:30):
past experience would help the gate any worries. Seven years ago,
after my fiance left me without a warning, I decided
I needed to do something on my own to feel
like me again. Since travel has always healed my soul,
I booked a trip to Carden, Cartigana, Columbia, Cardigina, Columbia, Yeah,
with plans to say in a friend's family condo. I
didn't speak the language, I didn't know the culture, and
(08:51):
at first when I arrived, I'll admit I was worried.
I was in over my head. My friend recommended taking
one of the site scene tours available through sites like Viator,
and I'm so glad I did. Not only did I
get to climb in a mud volcano, I met other
people that were in the same situation as I was,
from many different countries, and I learned a lot of
things to go, to do and see that I wouldn't
(09:12):
have thought of if I had not met them. Jenny,
you're street smart. You've had a great head on your shoulders,
or you have a great head on your shoulders, You'll
have an amazing time.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
You guys have even inspired me to do another trip soon. However,
now it'll be with my husband, the past fiance who
finally got his shit together. L Ol. You're all correct.
Life is too short.
Speaker 7 (09:35):
Dang, that's now I want to hear more about that story.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
You know What's funny how sometimes something is not working
out and you break up and then you get back
together again, and I think sometimes you realize you go, oh,
I didn't have it so bad in the first place.
Speaker 7 (09:51):
Yeah for sure.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
All right, let's see what else is up next on
the Minnesota goodbye. Pouring through the email here do okay?
There are people asking about Boo Bash tickets, so that's
not what we're looking for. Yeah, okay, so here we go.
Will you ask for travel suggestions outside the norm and
(10:13):
I want to suggest Belize and Guatemala. Belize offers the
ocean beach life, including the second largest coral reef in
the world, and has rainforest and get a variety. Guatemala
is not a super far drive and home to the
Mayan ruins and caves, including Takal, which is where they
film most of the Star Wars, one of the Star
Wars movies. Even if you're not into history, is still
(10:35):
fascinated to see all right from Danielle. Thank you Danielle,
like that one again. Sorry for pouring through these. On
the radio, Shannon says, I've done a lot of traveling
in my life. Pretty cool places, the most off the
beaten I was chose to are Egypt, Turkey, Peru, Thailand
(10:57):
and Bahrain were beautiful in their own regards. My advice
did Jenny and anyone who is traveling to a country
is to do your research. For example, when we went
to Egypt, my professor gave us strict guidelines on what
to wear, how to dress, what to expect, lightweight clothing
(11:18):
that covered our arms, legs, and figure. We were also
told to bring scars for our heads so we could
visit different temples. We always had a guide with us,
and if we ventured out at night, we went in groups.
Another group went in with a different professor later that year,
and they said they absolutely hated their trip because people
were so rude and they couldn't see all the sights.
I looked at their photos and the girls were wearing
(11:39):
spaghetti strap tank tops and short shorts. Jenny, with your
gorgeous blonde hair, juicy booty and boobies. You'll definitely stand
out in a Muslim country.
Speaker 7 (11:49):
Yeah, I bought a whole new wardrobe already. That's like
covers my knees, covers my shoulders. I know how to
be respectful to a different culture. I've been to Thailand before.
You're not allowed to walk in temples with like your
show they're showing and stuff like that. So I do
have I will have the proper attire.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
I do know that.
Speaker 7 (12:05):
I've looked into a lot of safety precautions. I also
saw that if you end up putting like a scarf
around your head, because a lot of Muslim women obviously
have those, you don't get much attention either, which is
like not a natural thing for me. But like, I
know that I'm going to get a lot of attention
just being a blonde, white female walking around.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
They go on to say, be careful, respectful, and make
sure you look up customs and expectations of foreigners. I'm
sure you'll have an amazing time and an experience that
you will never forget. I emailed in before but never
got a staff writers sticker back. I'd love one if possible,
So I'm going to send your picture of your address
(12:48):
right now to Secretary Bree and a half fuck. Hold on,
I didn't include your name in it. Give me a
second I'm doing right now.
Speaker 7 (12:58):
I'll just say that I actually met more Russa, who
designed our Minnesota Goodbye stickers this past weekend. She swung
by Pilgrim and dropped off some coats for coats for kids,
and she's just the sweetest and so I want to
give her a shout out because you know, it was
a while ago that she designed those, and so it's
it was nice to meet her in person.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Nice, okay, very cool and time for one more. And
again this is asking for a staff writer sticker. So
forgive me while I take a moment. If I don't
send the address to Secretary of Brie now, I won't remember.
My name is Rachel. First time writer. You talked about
places we've been. May twenty nineteen. I had the opportunity
to go to Israel for a few weeks and it
was beautiful. Also to get there, I had to layover
(13:36):
in Finland and it was cold, but really nice and
different in a good way. One question, which I know
you brought up before, but Dave is your last name?
Ryan No, Jenny, you have a heart of goal and
so kind I can see as I can see through
the radio. Bailey. You make me laugh when I listen
(13:56):
to you. Vont I love how you love your side
of your culture, which is Puerto Rican. Thanks for reading.
And that's really it so very cool Israel. You know,
I'm not really I don't have the travel bug. I
you know what I'd really like to do, and it's
like you'd laugh at it. Maybe you would, is like
a small river cruise down the Columbia and Snake River.
(14:17):
Cool because I love history. That's the way Lewis and
Clark went two hundred and twenty five years ago, one
hundred and twenty years ago. And I've just always loved
that history of like when the world was so vast. Yeah,
when I mean, you think about how vast the world was.
It took them like over a winter to get from
Saint Louis. They wintered in North Dakota, and then the
(14:39):
next spring when it warmed up and they could travel,
then it took till like the next August to get
all the way to like Portland or Astoria or wherever
they went. And you think about how vast the world
was and I just it's just hard to even fathom
because we can fly from Saint Louis to Portland in
probably three and a half hours.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Now, and then it's like, well, I've got a map,
and I don't know how accurate my map is, and
I'm just going to start going and I'll get there eventually,
and I don't even know where I'm going right exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
So all that's very fascinating me. So that's that's the
travel that I want to do. Yea is like there's
enough in the United States that I don't really feel
the need to go to Bajarain to see the world.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
I like traveling, like, I like going places, but I
would not say I'm a travel person either. My travel
bug is like in my own city, like I want
to do new stuff that's happening around here and find
things that are happening around here.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I think that's fascinating.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Ryan Show at katiwb dot com to get you on
the next Minnesota Goodbye.