Speaking of Nuts

We gripe about airport pickup, food allergies, and Dave misspeaks in a hilarious way.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I am so glad that my son Carson likes to
come home. We picked him up at the airport last
night and he saw us pulling up to the door
and he just got the biggest smile on his face,
like I'm home again, and he was just chatty and happy.
And I'm really happy that we raised a kid that
likes to come home and see his mom and dad. Yeah,
so I know not every kid feels that way. I

(00:20):
was just happy to go home and see my mom
and dad. I love going home and see my mom
and dad. One thing that I will complain about, and
Bailey says, I complain too much, but I will.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Make a comment. Oh, when you go.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
To pick up people at the airport, my god, there
are three layers of cars curbside, next lane, next lane
of people whose passenger has not arrived yet, but they
are there waiting, making it impossible to pick up the
passengers that have arrived. Now, you know, you're supposed to

(00:52):
wait in what they call the cell phone lotah, which
is over on Post Road.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
And it's super easy too.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
And it's super easy, and that way you are not
waiting and you're not inconveniencing yourself. You sit there in
your car, and you sit and wait, and then your
friend will text your call and say, yeah, I'm here
at door four. Drive over to door four and pick
them up.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
Boom boom boom. Done.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
But there are the people who pull up and they'll
be like, you know, okay, are you there yet? No,
I'm still at baggage claim or I'm on my way
to baggage claim, and they sit and wait and you
can look at them and they're just sitting there alone
in their car. Yeah, up against the curb or in
lane two or lane three, clogging up the lane so
you can't get in to pick up your passenger.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
Get out of my way, dummy.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Does anybody admit to doing that?

Speaker 4 (01:32):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:33):
No, I usually if they're not there when I get there,
I do a loop.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
Oh do you do a loop? Okay?

Speaker 5 (01:40):
Yeah, because usually I time everything to get to where
I need to be exactly on time. And so usually
if somebody says like, okay, I'm we just landed, I
think okay, by the time they landed to the time
that they are at baggage claim or at pick up,
it'll be about twenty minutes probably, yeah, And it usually
takes me about twenty minutes to get to the airport,

(02:02):
so I usually wait until they say, like I just landed.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Then I'll get my car and.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Go okay, yeah, we go to the cell phone lot
and then Carson will call and say, yeah, I'm at
door number two. And then it takes me probably less
than five minutes to get to door number two, so
he'll wait for five minutes, but that way he is there.
But I just think it's such a rude, entitled, selfish
thing to do to pull up to the curb and
sit there and wait for your passenger. Now, I'm not

(02:27):
going to change anything with this complaining on the podcast,
but I just wish it would become more of a norm,
you know, yeah.

Speaker 5 (02:35):
Waiting, And I would love it if people thought about
other people other than themselves. Yeah, but that's where anytime.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Just not likely to happen, all right, uh, Marie writes
in and she is a regular contributor. She says, I'm
coming to complain more facilities, specifically schools and daycares, need
to be more accommodating to those with food allergies and
more specifically be peanut free. They're very commodating for students
with nut allergies, but not so much for teachers. I
have a peanut allergy myself and work at a daycare.

(03:01):
It's gotten to the point where I'll need to step
out of the room for snack time and lunchtime otherwise
any lingering particles of peanuts of peanut butter get in
my eyes and I begin to have an erection. I
begin to have an erection. I begin to have a reaction,
not an erection.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
Yeah, I can't figured.

Speaker 4 (03:18):
That's probably not what she wrote.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Begin to have a reaction. How why in the world
did I say erection?

Speaker 3 (03:23):
It's on the mind.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
Yeah, I must be a reaction which later will result
in breaking out in hives and something being and sometimes
being unable to breathe. I feel bad about leaving the room,
but I don't want to risk my own safety. I
wish more places were understanding about anyone with food allergies
like that. Anyway, that's my complaint for the day. I've
got nothing to add to that, but I'm glad you

(03:45):
got a chance to say your piece.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
Yeah, I wish. I do.

Speaker 5 (03:48):
Wish more people were, you know, cognizant of allergies in general,
and especially because there are so many kids now with allergies, which, man,
I'd love to know the science behind that. Why do
so many kids have allergies these days? Because it didn't
seem like there were that many when I was a kid.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
No, And it's very true, and I'm not sure why
that is. But when I was a kid, there was
no such thing in my world as a peanut allergy
or any kind of a nut allergy. But we had
kids in Scouts that could not eat cookies with nuts
in them. And so even if it was made in
a facility that used nuts in other ingredients and they're cookies,
they couldn't eat them. And I think it came up

(04:22):
on the air maybe twenty years ago, and I said,
why is this? And somebody called They got very mad
at me, and I can't remember why.

Speaker 5 (04:28):
But because you didn't know, but you were like seeking
out information.

Speaker 4 (04:32):
So what happened was you made a joke about nut allergies.
And you said you made a joke in a very
Dave Ryan way where it was clearly sarcastic, but someone
took it in a way of like you shouldn't make
jokes about nut allergies like that. And then we had
someone on who has a kid who has a nut allergy,
and she dreamed you, oh rereamed you out, speaking of nuts.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
I was watching this show and I've told you about it.
It's called Bad Thoughts I made, not made, but I
offered to have Susan and Carson watch it last night
because it's just a really really funny, just very distasteful show.
So there's a woman and she's dying, and she's in
hospice and she's there with her boy, her husband, Carl,

(05:19):
and she looks very They've got her made up to
look like she's very, very sick, and she's got, you know,
the tube in her nose, and she's got the cap
on because she's lost her hair. And then a woman
from Last Wish comes in and he's like, oh my god,
you have Last Wish coming in? What is your last Wish?

Speaker 2 (05:38):
I didn't know this.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
Did you want to see the symphony or meet Adam Levine?

Speaker 2 (05:41):
What is your last Wish?

Speaker 1 (05:43):
And the woman from Last Wish and the wife are like,
oh no, it's a little more challenging than that. There's
a guy on TV that does some Subway sandwich commercials
and he's really hot, and so the woman says something like, yeah,
I want him to fill every hole with his sweet
sweet juice. And it's like it's shocking, right, and it's funny.
And she goes, I want you to I want you

(06:04):
in her sick face and she's very weak. She's like,
I want you to drag your nuts across my face.
And it's so shocking and so wrong and so funny.
But nobody was laughing. Carson Carson, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (06:17):
Carcon that's why because as a kid who has ever
watched any kind of sexual reference with a parent, it's
so uncomfortable.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
He watched it with both his parents.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
I thought he would laugh his ass off.

Speaker 4 (06:30):
Maybe alone he might it was just you, but was
Susan there. I'm sure he was really uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
Maybe you're right, maybe that was it. I'm gonna tell
Chase about it, see, because Chase and I have the
exact same sense of humor.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
Just wrong.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, And I don't know if you want to give
it a shot. If it sounds like it's your cup
of tea. It's called Bad Thoughts and it's on Netflix
and each one is his skit that's about five to
ten minutes long, very funny.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Okay, here we go.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
I'm a mom of a one and a half year
old and go to great links to keep my little
one away from technology. She does not use our phones.
We don't own an iPad. She does watch classic movies
on the TV a small portion of the day when
I'm cooking lunch. I am so determined not to be
the family who are all sitting on their devices at
a restaurant. However, I'm also a substitute part time, and

(07:18):
yesterday class as sixth graders glued to their chromebooks the
entire hour completing the lesson for the day. So my
frustrations come because we try to protect our little ones
so much from overuse, then send them to school with
a device they need to be glued to to do
school work all day. I just really missed the old
days where we use pencil and paper. I feel like

(07:39):
you'll understand me, so I wanted to write in love
y'all so much, Amy, Thank you Amy. That is kind
of a.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
Rub.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
You could say that you're working really hard, but then
they're on their chromebooks all day. Yeah the kids that
I mean that is like every kid is issued a chromebook.

Speaker 3 (07:58):
Now your chromebook is your book, which is wild to me.

Speaker 4 (08:02):
So everywhere or I have a rich suburb.

Speaker 5 (08:06):
No, I think it's most schools. They like they supply
a chromebook to every single student.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
Okay, so I think you're right.

Speaker 5 (08:12):
Yeah, yeah, So then it's the kids. And also the
chromebooks are so annoying too, because kids will forget their chargers, so.

Speaker 3 (08:19):
They'll be like, oh, you can't do my work because
I don't.

Speaker 5 (08:20):
Have a charger, And it's just so annoying when I
just wish there was paper, because I mean, when I
work in the high school and I even say like,
I need you to get out your chromebooks and do
this work, They're just playing games on them anyway, They're
not doing any work.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
I hate those dang chromebooks.

Speaker 5 (08:37):
I just want eyes on me, listen to what I'm saying,
because if you've got your chromebook open, you ain't listening
to me.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
Bro I hate it.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
Okay, fair enough, Dave, Jenny Bailey vont Charisa One comment
about soulmates, because we had a big discussion yesterday about like,
is there such a thing as your one true love,
the love of your life, or your soulmate. I agree
with you, guys that people have more more than one soulmate.
I believe I've already met one of mine. I was
twenty two. We were together for a few months when

(09:05):
we met up again and got back together about fifteen
years later, when I was thirty seven. It did not
work out that time either, but I still have hope
that I have another soulmate out there just waiting for me.
I'm a hopeless romantic. I always will be. By the way,
I'm very sad you didn't play my submission for Favorite
Musical Moment. A few weeks ago. I picked a song
that I hope VANT would recognize. The song was This

(09:26):
Is for the Lover in You by Shalamar. Ask him
if he knows that song. Thanks, guys. All right, Shalamar
did a song back in the day called Dancing.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
In the Sheets.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
Oh, not dance in the streets, but good play onwards. Yeah,
I'm pretty sure it was Shalamar. Anyway, we do have
a little bit of a rule series, and that is
we try to stay away from songs that people don't
generally wide spread. No, because we've been doing Favorite Musical
Moment for a long time and vont was new, so
he started loading up songs that people didn't really know,

(09:58):
and they're honestly not as fun. If you don't know them,
they can still be good, but they weren't as fun.
So we had to teach font kind of stay away
from songs that are not mainstream popular.

Speaker 5 (10:08):
Songs and don't worry series, It's not just you. He
didn't play my sisters either, but she picked a song
that not everybody knows.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
She be cut.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
What the heck they didn't play my song? Like, bro,
no one knows your song?

Speaker 1 (10:18):
Uh, okay, this is interesting. This is mostly for Dave.
I heard you talking about bad thoughts, which we just did.
Been waiting to hear somebody that has watched it so
we can chat. Oh my fucking god, it's the most random, funny,
disturbing shit I've seen in a while. I binged it
all airplane episode, Like, who the fuck is in my
head reporting this stuff to Tom Segura. I'm your friendly

(10:39):
flight attendant. He's an evil, fucking genius. I want more.
Although the last episode was hard to swallow, Lol, you'll
know when you watch it. It's impossible to literally give
a spoiler alert because if somebody imagine this could happen,
then get your ass to a psych ward Now. I
hope he gets another season i'd watch for the shock value.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
I have to say, stop reading.

Speaker 4 (10:57):
I don't want any spoilers.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
I want to watch it.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
Watch it.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Let me know what you think, because you're a little
bit twisted too. Oh absolutely, and I think that you'll think,
like the airplane episode was really funny. But there's one ah,
I can't spoiler it, but there's a gorgeous, beautiful, beautiful,
beautiful French woman who's like, I want you to make
love to me, and Tom is like serious, and she's like, yes,
I want you to make love to me. You can

(11:21):
do anything you want to me. But there's one condition,
and that's where it gets funny. Yeah, because the condition,
you would think like okay, yeah, sure, but once he
finds out what the condition is, it's like and after
that it's so funny.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
Okay. Anyway, love y'all.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
Like a pimple on my ass, I can't stop popping,
but I really love you. Talk soon, dart lick into
the airport Shannon. All right, Shannon, thank you. I'm glad
that we could bond.

Speaker 4 (11:49):
On that one pimple on my ass.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
It's a bad analogy. Yeah, I was gonna say, terrible analogy.

Speaker 4 (11:55):
I don't know about that one, Shannon, but.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
I like the effort.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
Dave heard you talking about renting a car on the
way to Colorado. Have you tried using Touro. It's like
an Airbnb, but for cars. It's a lot cheaper than
the big rental companies. Worth checking out. Thank you, McKenzie. Touro.
I'd never heard of it, and yes, I rent and
it's very very expensive.

Speaker 4 (12:16):
Like some negative things about turo tell me, well, just
because it is it's like someone's car that they own
and then you rent it from them, so like sometimes
the car won't be there at the airports.

Speaker 3 (12:25):
Oh my, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (12:27):
I know that it's worked out for a lot of
people and it is cheaper, but I just feel like
it's something that I don't always trust, so I usually
just stick with the rental companies.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yeah, and out of Denver because it's such a popular destination.
Rental cars are ridiculous. I mean, if you went to Gillett, Wyoming,
for example, the rented car probably be cheap because they
ain't no tourists there. Next email is about camping, So
let's check this one out. It's kind of interesting, fun place.
Camden State Park in lynd Minnesota. There was a crick

(12:58):
but it was a shallow body water that flowed over
rocks in the river. I remembered being too cold to
swim in the watering hole as a kid, so we
sat in the creek instead. I remember family was fishing,
and my family was packing up and getting ready to
head out. We heard a huge splash and a lady
yelling at her husband, Hell well, she fell in the river.
He was too busy catching fish to help her out.

(13:19):
I remember driving out of the campsite and seeing him
walking back to their campsite. She looked like a drown rat. Anyway,
great memories of this place when I was younger. That's
from Erin. It's called Camden State Park in Lynde, Minnesota.
Never been no but thank you Erin. Appreciate that one,
and I think that is going to do it for

(13:40):
the Minnesota. Goodbye for today. There's a couple of longer
ones that I didn't get to regarding soulmates, so we'll
probably cover those tomorrow. But I would be interested to
hear if you have met the love of your life,
If you are with the love of your life, and
I hope you are, I mean the love of your
life is like, Wow, that is Matt. There's people who

(14:01):
are like, they're happy, they're with their best friend, they're
not looking over their shoulder, they're not checking out their
ex boyfriend or girlfriend's Facebook to see what they're up to.
They're just happy. And then there are people who they
have the one that got away, and maybe you have one.
I'd love to hear your story. Send your emails of
anything you want to talk about to Ryan Show at

(14:21):
KDWB dot com